0:00:12 > 0:00:15On this voyage into the unknown,
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Rory has decided to be useful.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20He's been learning the language.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23RORY STRUGGLES TO PRONOUNCE WORDS
0:00:23 > 0:00:24DARA PROMPTS HIM
0:00:25 > 0:00:31RORY REPEATS WORDS
0:00:31 > 0:00:34- Da.- Da! Da.- Da, yeah, da.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Hello?
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Bok. Bok...
0:00:37 > 0:00:40BOTH: Bok! Bok! Bok!
0:00:40 > 0:00:43What is this one we're doing now?
0:00:43 > 0:00:48We're at the lower end of the Adriatic and we go through Croatia,
0:00:48 > 0:00:53along the coast of Croatia, which is the finest sailing ground in the whole of the Mediterranean.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56What the Romans called Dal-mat-ia.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58- Dalmatia.- Dalmatia.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01So you're bringing us basically along the Balkans?
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Balkans, yeah. Three Men...
0:01:04 > 0:01:08- Good title, isn't it? - It is a good title. - Three Men In The Balkans, you see.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Three Men Go To The Balkans. I like it.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Yes, we're going to Venice.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Apparently, the Balkans didn't sound appealing enough.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19In about a week's time, we intend to take part in a gondola race in front
0:01:19 > 0:01:24of thousands of tourists on Venice's busiest waterway, the Grand Canal.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29- This doesn't strike me as the best place to do a race.- What, on the busiest bit of canal in the world?
0:01:29 > 0:01:34'In our quest to get there, we'll be travelling up the stunning Dalmatian coast,
0:01:34 > 0:01:37'through storms...rain...'
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Frozen to the rigging!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- '..more rain...'- Enjoying it? - Faster!
0:01:41 > 0:01:43'..and more rain.'
0:01:44 > 0:01:46(ALL) Oh!
0:01:46 > 0:01:48'We'll be blending in with the locals...
0:01:49 > 0:01:51'..diving...flying...'
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Why don't we just stay on a plane and go all the way to Venice?
0:01:54 > 0:01:56'..and blagging our way.'
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- Are you going to Venice in that? - No...- No. OK.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01'..onto any boat that will take us...'
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Here we go!
0:02:03 > 0:02:07'..across borders and seas to one of the greatest cities on Earth.'
0:02:07 > 0:02:12It may be an English preoccupation, but can you flush toilet paper down the lavatory?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- I don't remember!- It's perfectly fine to flush the lavatory here.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28We start on one of the few train routes in this area.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Travelling across land is very difficult here. It's the Balkans.
0:02:31 > 0:02:36When you say Balkans, what you're referring to are the huge mountain ranges that dominate the area.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Montenegro actually means Black Mountains, and it's these that
0:02:40 > 0:02:44mean that historically, the only real way to get around was by boat.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Perfect for us.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48This takes us to Bar.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Bar...- Bar...
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Bar.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Bar in Montenegro.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Is it a licensed Bar that we're going to?
0:02:58 > 0:03:01'Yes. The first leg of our journey to Venice
0:03:01 > 0:03:05'will take us through Montenegro and on up the coast to Dubrovnik.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08'From there, we need a lift to one of the many islands
0:03:08 > 0:03:10'along the coast of Croatia and across to Venice,
0:03:10 > 0:03:14'hopefully before the gondola race begins...or finishes'.
0:03:18 > 0:03:23Sitting in a junction between East and West, the Balkans has a long history of conflict.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27There was a period of unification after the Second World War,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30when it became the Communist State of Yugoslavia,
0:03:30 > 0:03:35its separate nations held together by its charismatic leader, Marshall Tito.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Don't tread on the live rail.
0:03:38 > 0:03:43When Tito died, Yugoslavia started to break up in a series of bloody conflicts.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47Montenegro didn't actually become independent until 2006.
0:03:50 > 0:03:56The harbour at Bar is crammed with mothballed military boats from that era.
0:03:56 > 0:04:02But we're heading for a boat that's been saved from the knackers' yard because of its prestigious history.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06- Griff, where are you bringing us to? - We're looking for a boat called Jadranka.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08What does that mean?
0:04:08 > 0:04:10I don't know. You're the linguist.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- What does it mean?- I think it sounds like Cockney rhyming slang to me.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14What is Jadranka?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Jadranka is Tito's own personal yacht.
0:04:17 > 0:04:23Tito was President of Yugoslavia, the land of the southern Slavs.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27"Yug" is south in Serbian,
0:04:27 > 0:04:31in case you're interested and wondering why they called it Yugoslavia.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35'And Jadranka means Little Adriatic'.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Look at this. There are people with serious uniforms on this boat.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41RORY SPEAKS SERBIAN
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Rory, go ahead, because you speak the language, and do the introductions, please.
0:04:45 > 0:04:50- Commandant.- Welcome aboard. My name is Goran.- Goran?- Goran.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56'Comrade Tito had the yacht built 40 years ago for the entertainment of
0:04:56 > 0:05:00'foreign dignitaries and celebrities, to show off his socialist utopia.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03'Nowadays, they use it to show off the new Montenegro.'
0:05:03 > 0:05:08'Say what you like about the strict socialist, ex-partisan womaniser and leader
0:05:08 > 0:05:11'of the non-aligned nations of the world -
0:05:11 > 0:05:13'Tito certainly knew how to spend it.'
0:05:14 > 0:05:18We're heading north up the coast to Tivat in the Bay of Kotor
0:05:18 > 0:05:19to meet our next boat.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25We're going to have a look around to see if we can find
0:05:25 > 0:05:27any hints of Tito still on the boat.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Like Sophia Loren.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42- Hello, Captain, how are you? - Fine, you?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Very well. This is our first boat.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- How are you feeling?- Oh, yeah, I haven't got this back yet.
0:05:47 > 0:05:54- You don't have a problem?- No. So who's been here from our part of the world? Who's been here from Britain?
0:05:54 > 0:05:55From Britain?
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Prince Andrew was here.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- And who else?- Gaddafi.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Gaddafi? Very topical at the moment.
0:06:01 > 0:06:07- Very hot right now, Gaddafi. Who else?- Haile Selassie.- Really?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Yeah. Elizabeth Taylor.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14OK, what is Elizabeth Taylor's military or governmental role?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16I believe that Tito loves...
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- The beautiful ladies.- Yes.- He did love the beautiful ladies, didn't he?
0:06:20 > 0:06:26And where would President Tito make love to all those famous actresses like Sophia Loren?
0:06:26 > 0:06:29It would be in here in the lounge.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31If you're a communist leader, what you want most of is,
0:06:31 > 0:06:36let's face it...fridges. Look at this.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40These peculiar...they're shot glasses.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Everywhere you go on this boat, there are shot glasses.
0:06:43 > 0:06:48Shot glasses. Imagine how much raki you'd get in one of those.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Shot glasses everywhere you look on this boat!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58This drawer is actually a shot glass.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01You actually just pour the brandy into that
0:07:01 > 0:07:02and you put your head in here.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07There is a lot of popular TV shows from Britain.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- Really? Like?- Only Fools And Horses.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- Really?- This is a classic hit.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- Really?- Yeah, and Allo, Allo.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18So if David Jason came to Montenegro,
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- he'd be a big star here? - Yeah, he's very famous.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29As yachts go...as a modern yacht goes, it's quite basic.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33- You know...- Is it?- ..room here, room up there.- To me...
0:07:33 > 0:07:38I mean, they spend a fortune these days, the real Titos,
0:07:38 > 0:07:40getting their yachts with...
0:07:40 > 0:07:46It all started with Onassis, Aristotle, who in his bar
0:07:46 > 0:07:52had bar stools covered with the foreskins of sperm whales.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56I had no idea what you were going to say then, Griff, you know.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59That's what got Jackie Kennedy going.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03- He said, "Hey, you sit down on the foreskin..."- What, she straddled...?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05No, Tito missed a trick there.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10There are no foreskins of sperm whales being used as upholstery on this boat.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Since Montenegro became independent in 2006,
0:08:24 > 0:08:28Porto Montenegro in Tivat has become the place for the super-rich
0:08:28 > 0:08:33to buy their super-rich houses and park their super-rich yachts.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Owning one of those would feel like owning a ferry.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- It's a floating large, privately-owned hotel.- Yeah.
0:08:40 > 0:08:45My reverie would be that sailing boat over there.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Ah, really?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- That's our next boat.- Is it?- Yeah.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Jadran, meaning Big Adriatic,
0:08:52 > 0:08:55is just about the only other boat in the Montenegrin Navy.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58It's a sail training ship,
0:08:58 > 0:09:02and we're hoping she'll take us across the Croatian border to Dubrovnik tomorrow,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05and perhaps teach us how to sail, whilst she's at it.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Just to the north of Porto Montenegro lies
0:09:17 > 0:09:20one of the oldest and most important harbour towns along the coastline.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32- That's Perast ahead.- Perast?
0:09:32 > 0:09:37- Perast.- Perast.- Oh really? - Very nice.
0:09:40 > 0:09:45In its peak 300 years ago, Perast was one of the main naval shipyards in Europe,
0:09:45 > 0:09:49and was reputedly where the world's best sea captains came from.
0:09:49 > 0:09:54Nowadays, all that remains of that heyday are some of the traditions.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56SINGING
0:09:58 > 0:10:03Our musical escort are going to one of the islands just off Perast.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05They're practising for what is known as the Fascinada,
0:10:05 > 0:10:10a 500-year-old celebration of a vision, sung from the back of a rowing boat.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13THEY SING
0:10:13 > 0:10:16SHIP'S HORN BLARES
0:10:30 > 0:10:36Legend has it that a sailor saw a vision on the water and threw a stone to mark it.
0:10:36 > 0:10:41Every passing ship did the same until an island was formed, and then local sailors built
0:10:41 > 0:10:44a church to give praise for all the times they'd been saved at sea.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48THEY SING
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- It's beautiful, Griff.- Wow.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56This is very lovely.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Look at the plaques.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05- They're ex-votos.- They're called?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07- Votive offerings.- Oh, yeah.
0:11:07 > 0:11:12So if something happens to you from which you survive and continue,
0:11:12 > 0:11:16then you make an offering in a little piece of beaten silver.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20And obviously, I have never seen so many.
0:11:20 > 0:11:25Some are clearly for saving from ships, and legs...
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- Some are from storms.- And quite a lot are for hearts.
0:11:28 > 0:11:33- Mainly boats, though.- There are a lot of shipwrecks and storms.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37People who build a church on an island made of stones in the middle
0:11:37 > 0:11:42- of an inlet are probably boaty types...- It might be a passenger. - ..or at least have access...
0:11:51 > 0:12:00Day two. Well, over the last seven years, we've been all over Britain.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Everywhere, we've been. The far north and the west,
0:12:03 > 0:12:06and we've experienced nothing but the most brilliant weather.
0:12:06 > 0:12:12So we came to the Adriatic in spring, and of course it's blowing like gangbusters.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Still, it's quite a big boat, isn't it?
0:12:17 > 0:12:23No doubt it'll be... it'll be very safe.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28And it'll need to be, as it has to take us over the border to Croatia
0:12:28 > 0:12:30and into the port of Dubrovnik.
0:12:30 > 0:12:35I've come on ahead of the others and been awarded special duties, thanks.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39One of the most fundamental parts of cadet training is climbing the one hundred-foot mast.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41No, really, thanks.
0:12:41 > 0:12:47If I was a cadet and I was going for the first time, would I just be sent?
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- Would a deck officer help me up there, or would I just have to go on my own?- For the first time?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- Yeah.- Someone will go with you.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55OK. It's my first time.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- You'll be gentle with me?- Yeah. - Thank you. Off we go.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05'This training ship was commissioned in the 1930s
0:13:05 > 0:13:08'to prepare the next generation of naval commanders from this coast
0:13:08 > 0:13:10'to be the best in the world.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13'She was the pride of the Yugoslav Navy,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15'and when the countries split post-war,
0:13:15 > 0:13:17'Montenegro managed to hold on to her.'
0:13:20 > 0:13:25- Hello. No disrespect to you.- Welcome aboard.- A pleasure. A pleasure, Captain.- Captain...
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- Is it Captain, or...?- Commander.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32Commander, sorry. You already have met one of our...a little guy.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34- Skinny guy.- Yes, he's upstairs.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38Oh, he loves that. He loves that.
0:13:39 > 0:13:45The...others don't want to do this,
0:13:45 > 0:13:47because they don't like heights.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50How is the technique? Is that right?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53No. His technique not right.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Your technique's not good, Griff.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59RORY SHOUTS IN SERBIAN
0:14:02 > 0:14:04You understand us.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06You got that, Griff?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09No, don't reach for the phrasebook.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13And you're wearing the wrong shoes, but apart from that, very good.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Yeah.
0:14:18 > 0:14:23I...wonder if you can hear
0:14:23 > 0:14:27the slight tremor
0:14:27 > 0:14:31in...my...voice
0:14:31 > 0:14:36- because... - INDISTINCT SHOUTING FROM BELOW
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Oh, OK, understood.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43This is called a lover's hole,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45because on other boats,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48they used to go outside
0:14:48 > 0:14:50and there was a little stretch of rattlings
0:14:50 > 0:14:54which goes outside, and then you used to sort of hang upside down.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59This is quite easy by comparison with some boats.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06It's interesting.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11We're now only in the first crow's nest.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14The second one is up there.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Do you need me to go up to the next one?
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Well...you don't need to.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22No... OK, thank you.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- It's no problem.- Good.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28I don't think this is a three-man job, somehow.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32The danger is not falling in the sea and drowning,
0:15:32 > 0:15:35the danger is falling on the deck.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39I just hope I fall on Rory, if I fall off.
0:15:41 > 0:15:42OK, that's enough.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48It's now blowing 40 knots up here.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51I haven't enough hair to blow in the wind
0:15:51 > 0:15:57to show you how blowy it is. We're setting off into the teeth of a howling gale.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06'And as we head out of port,
0:16:06 > 0:16:11'the weather doesn't get any better. In fact, it gets a lot worse.'
0:16:13 > 0:16:19'And if it's this bad on deck, heaven knows how bad it is halfway up the mast.'
0:16:29 > 0:16:32I've got to go down now. It's wet and I'm cold,
0:16:32 > 0:16:36- and I'm not even wearing waterproof trousers, which is... - MAN SPEAKS SERBIAN
0:16:36 > 0:16:40OK. Yeah, everybody's saying I've got to go down, so I'm going down now.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Not before time.
0:16:42 > 0:16:48Griff is still up there, and has actually appealed for waterproof trousers.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50He's frozen to the rigging.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18Ah!
0:17:21 > 0:17:26Sorry. Forgive me, I'm just going as low as I can possibly go.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Ah, that feels secure. That feels safe now. That's good.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32This is where I want to be from now on.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35I'm not getting up from here, all right?
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Just sail on, and I'll just stay here.
0:17:41 > 0:17:46The rain now stops, and it's all hands on deck.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50We have to get some sails up to get us out to sea and leave the bay.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56The sails going nowhere.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58What are we pulling?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- We're pulling...the land is getting closer.- I see!
0:18:02 > 0:18:03There's a bat!
0:18:06 > 0:18:07There's a bat!
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- Hello!- Aw...
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Look at his little teeth...
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Am I the only one who's alarmed by the idea
0:18:14 > 0:18:18that it's so long since these sails were opened up
0:18:18 > 0:18:20- that bats have roosted?- There's a whole bat colony up there.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Of course, being such a tall ship,
0:18:26 > 0:18:31the sails are, well, quite big and heavy, and take an age to get up.
0:18:36 > 0:18:41But disappointment, given that the wind now drops completely.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49It's not a great day for sailing. It's gone from being too windy to no wind at all.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53- No wind at all.- Yes, quite random, this. How far can you take us?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Can you take us to Dubrovnik?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Yes, I can.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- Can you?- I can take you to Dubrovnik...- Really?
0:19:00 > 0:19:04..but our two governments must take the...
0:19:04 > 0:19:08- agreement about that, because we are a Navy ship.- Oh, really?
0:19:09 > 0:19:14'So it turns out we have bigger problems than the weather.'
0:19:14 > 0:19:19Two things I've learnt this morning. One is the Montenegrin for "bat", a sismis,
0:19:19 > 0:19:23which is something I wasn't expecting to be learning today or ever in my life.
0:19:23 > 0:19:29The other thing is that we are not actually officially allowed to go to Dubrovnik in this boat.
0:19:29 > 0:19:34The captain's been quite diplomatic about it. The point is that Dubrovnik is in Croatia.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37This boat is Montenegrin.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39HE SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE
0:19:39 > 0:19:41'So for the avoidance of a diplomatic incident,
0:19:41 > 0:19:44'this boat is not going to Dubrovnik.'
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Bye, thank you!
0:19:45 > 0:19:50And with the weather being so strange, the captain is happy to get us off as quickly as possible.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54We're sped away to the nearest harbour, Herceg Novi.
0:19:56 > 0:20:02This is great, isn't it? It's like being on holiday in England in the summer.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Amazing that this is a banana boat. I don't know why we're using a banana boat.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12It's out of season, I suppose.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16People would pay good money in the holiday resorts for this kind of fun.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Wheee!
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- Enjoying it?- Faster!
0:20:24 > 0:20:28With our unexpected change of fortune, we are facing the real possibility
0:20:28 > 0:20:34we won't be able to get across the border at all in a boat and will have to find another route.
0:20:37 > 0:20:44'But as we approach the sea wall, there are three boats flying Croatian flags tied up alongside.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47'I wonder if they're there to help in some way?'
0:20:47 > 0:20:51Is this the closest we get to the border?
0:20:51 > 0:20:53This is the last bit of Montenegro.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57- You see, that boat couldn't take us to Croatia for diplomatic reasons. - No.
0:20:57 > 0:21:03The truth is, what he told us off the record is that
0:21:03 > 0:21:08there has been a campaign in Croatia to have the boat repatriated,
0:21:08 > 0:21:15that boat, repatriated to Croatia, so they're a bit wary of going there
0:21:15 > 0:21:21in case there's an incident of some kind, so we have to make our own way without the boat.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23This is what he told us off the record, is it?
0:21:23 > 0:21:24He told us off the record.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28- He specifically used the words "off the record"?- Yeah, he knew that.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32- Isn't there an international convention...- They're never going to see it.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35And then he asks, "Can I have a copy of this on DVD?"
0:21:35 > 0:21:38I know, but we can take that bit out of the DVD.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40So it might be less glamorous than the tall ship,
0:21:40 > 0:21:44but at least these yachts could actually get us to Dubrovnik.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- Bok, bok.- Bok.- Bok.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52- How are you?- Oh, you're English? - Scottish, actually.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Scottish! Are you going to Dubrovnik?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56We're off to Dubrovnik now, yeah.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- Is there any chance we could get a lift off you?- Absolutely.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02- Can you smuggle us past customs? - No problem.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03There we go...
0:22:04 > 0:22:09'It's not in my nature to be cautious, but I've been made promises like that already today'.
0:22:11 > 0:22:16We're coming from Montenegro into Croatia.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Will we need to be showing passports at some stage?
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- You have got your passports with you?- They're somewhere on us.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24You are going to need your passports.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29OK, Griff, I'm going to take control of the throttle for this one.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I haven't got my glasses on.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Well, it's mainly mountains that you have to avoid at this point.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Do you want to take her? - Not particularly, no.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41OK. Well, that's two of us.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48'It turns out this flotilla of Sunsail yachts are being relocated
0:22:48 > 0:22:50'to Croatia, and being tourist boats,
0:22:50 > 0:22:54'it's apparently slightly easier for them to get across the border...
0:22:54 > 0:22:56'weather permitting.'
0:22:56 > 0:22:57- Lumpy.- Lumpy.
0:22:58 > 0:23:04Jesus. This could be quite a challenge if you were just part of a flotilla, if you're a newcomer.
0:23:04 > 0:23:09- But you wouldn't go out? - We normally wouldn't...- Oh! Lovely!
0:23:09 > 0:23:11THEY LAUGH
0:23:11 > 0:23:12Do carry on!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Oh well, that's a bit lumpy.
0:23:14 > 0:23:19I'm glad we got rid of that enormous, huge, seagoing boat
0:23:19 > 0:23:23- and transferred into a really tiny boat.- Yes.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33Dubrovnik is a six-hour sail up the coast.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Arriving by boat into this old harbour
0:23:36 > 0:23:40is an unforgettable approach to this unforgettable city.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Day three, and everything is peaceful, because Rory isn't on the boat.
0:23:54 > 0:24:00Well, here we are in Dubrovnik, or as they say in Croatia, "Here vee are in Dubrovnik",
0:24:00 > 0:24:03without doubt one of the most beautiful medieval cities I've ever
0:24:03 > 0:24:05laid awake in listening to church bells ringing all night.
0:24:05 > 0:24:13So rather than just toss and turn in the bed, I thought I'd come out and buy breakfast for Griff and Dara.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17Talking of Griff and Dara, vegetables here!
0:24:17 > 0:24:19HE SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE
0:24:22 > 0:24:26Founded in the seventh century, Dubrovnik is the only city state
0:24:26 > 0:24:29on the Adriatic to have ever rivalled Venice.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37In fact, it looks so much like Venice that it's been its stunt double in numerous films.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43And like Venice, it is also overrun with tourists.
0:24:43 > 0:24:48Up to 85,000 a week come here during the summer, and people buying
0:24:48 > 0:24:53holiday homes here have driven the prices so high, most of the locals now live outside the city walls.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Hiya!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02I'm back, boys. Breakfast.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Croatian speciality.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Pig's head.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Pig's ear. I thought "Pig's ear, that sounds appropriate".
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Very nice, that. Griff, Dara!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Boys?
0:25:29 > 0:25:34Gone for breakfast. That's charming. That's great. That's great.
0:25:34 > 0:25:40It's not the expense, it's just that I took the trouble to learn the Croatian for smoked pig's head.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Oh, well...
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Mmm...better go and find them.
0:25:46 > 0:25:52So we are walking down the main street, which we call Stradun.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56'After a leisurely continental breakfast with the flotilla crowd,
0:25:56 > 0:25:58'I've joined them for the guided tour.'
0:25:58 > 0:26:03I'm afraid that we will stop now and start climbing the steps.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- Ready to go?- Yes.
0:26:05 > 0:26:11This is the part of Dubrovnik which was constructed in 1272...
0:26:11 > 0:26:14'Meanwhile, I've been stuck waiting for Rory.'
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- Hello.- You missed a great breakfast.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22I had breakfast an hour ago. We hung out with the flotilla people,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25and they're on a tour, which would have been lovely.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- Why didn't you go on it? - I was waiting for you.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- So we've missed the tour? - We've have.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33We can go to one of the...do you know how many Irish pubs there are within the walls of Dubrovnik?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35- One?- No. Four.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39- Shall we go and have a bit of an explore?- Let's have a look at the Irish pubs.
0:26:44 > 0:26:49'In its long history, Dubrovnik has been both a free state and part of the Venetian republic.
0:26:49 > 0:26:54'It's been invaded by Napoleon, shaken by earthquakes, ruled by the Austrians, the Nazis, the fascists
0:26:54 > 0:26:58'and of course the communists when it was part of Yugoslavia.'
0:26:58 > 0:27:01'Now it seems to be mainly overrun by the Irish.'
0:27:01 > 0:27:05'But in Dubrovnik, it's only a matter of time before you're confronted with
0:27:05 > 0:27:12'what happened here 20 years ago, when Serbian and Montenegrin forces attacked this Croatian masterpiece.'
0:27:12 > 0:27:17So first when they started on 1st October 1991, they arrived
0:27:17 > 0:27:22with their ships, so first position for shelling was behind the island.
0:27:22 > 0:27:28So first ten days, they were constantly targeting hill peaks.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32During that period, most of the locals went in the fortresses,
0:27:32 > 0:27:39so Dubrovnik fortresses down there definitely had the best role at the end of 20th century.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42In each tower, approximately 2000 people moved in.
0:27:42 > 0:27:50My worst personal experience was that we were cut off from water and electricity for nearly five months.
0:27:50 > 0:27:57The town's ancient rainwater storage reservoirs then became the city's only water supply.
0:28:00 > 0:28:05Very interesting, the way all the maps in the city do this.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09"Sites of damage caused by the aggression on Dubrovnik by the
0:28:09 > 0:28:14"Yugoslav army, the Serbs and the Montenegrins in 1991-1992."
0:28:14 > 0:28:15They're not sitting on the fence.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17They make it obvious who did it.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20Yes, but interestingly, what we refer to as the Balkan conflict is
0:28:20 > 0:28:23- referred to here as the Croatian War of Independence.- Really?
0:28:23 > 0:28:27Yeah. For the Croatians, it was a chance to break out of Yugoslavia.
0:28:27 > 0:28:32And the Serbs tried to stop that, and that's the way they view it.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34It's a moving piece of work, isn't it?
0:28:34 > 0:28:37There's all the points there where bombs fell.
0:28:37 > 0:28:42About 68% of the buildings in Dubrovnik, which is a World Heritage Site, were damaged.
0:28:45 > 0:28:51At this bay, Croatia is only 850 metres from the border to the sealine.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55- From the border with Bosnia?- Yes.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58'Borjan was part of the force defending the city.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01'He was stationed up here in this hilltop fort,
0:29:01 > 0:29:05'which became the last line of defence against the advancing Serbs.'
0:29:05 > 0:29:08There were only 600 soldiers.
0:29:08 > 0:29:14- It was impossible to defend against 18,000 against us.- 18,000?
0:29:14 > 0:29:1618. 18,000, yes.
0:29:18 > 0:29:22'The hill's strategic importance meant it was the scene of the fiercest hand-to-hand fighting.
0:29:22 > 0:29:27'Many of Borjan's comrades were killed.'
0:29:27 > 0:29:30So you and how many others came to this fort?
0:29:30 > 0:29:34Probably there were always 30 to 40 people.
0:29:34 > 0:29:39And it's crucial to you to defend this hilltop position?
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Absolutely. We had shift changes.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45We didn't stay all the time here, but 40 people were always here.
0:29:45 > 0:29:49Because if they had this fort, they had complete control of Dubrovnik.
0:29:49 > 0:29:54- Absolutely. - Serbia and Montenegro thought that this would be a pushover
0:29:54 > 0:29:59and they'd get it, but in the end it proved to be a resistance which held them...
0:29:59 > 0:30:01They thought it would be ended in five days.
0:30:01 > 0:30:05This all happened very recently.
0:30:05 > 0:30:13What's the feeling now between Croatia, Montenegro and Serbia and Bosnia?
0:30:13 > 0:30:18I will never forget what has happened, but we must continue living, understand?
0:30:18 > 0:30:19I couldn't hate anybody,
0:30:19 > 0:30:25I am not a person like that, but I can't forget what has happened to me.
0:30:25 > 0:30:29I will be talking about it for ever.
0:30:29 > 0:30:34It's complicated, because the history here is the history of generations
0:30:34 > 0:30:39going back who remember these things, and then out it comes again in a new war...
0:30:39 > 0:30:43No, I hope something like that never happens again here.
0:30:43 > 0:30:51- So as far as you're concerned, it's important to keep the memory alive, but not the hatred?- No.
0:30:51 > 0:30:59No. I can't forget what has happened to us, but we must continue living.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05'Down in the town, there's a conflict of another kind.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11'Although Dubrovnik is slowly being taken over by tourism,
0:31:11 > 0:31:14'people do still live, work and play within the walls.'
0:31:28 > 0:31:30Yes!
0:31:30 > 0:31:36- That was good. We don't often have fun on these...- Hey! Amigos!
0:31:36 > 0:31:43- And then the fun grinds to a halt. Have you been learning things? - I'm exhausted.- Are you?
0:31:43 > 0:31:46The history of this place starts with ancient Greece...
0:31:46 > 0:31:48- We don't need to hear it all. - I wasn't going to start.
0:31:48 > 0:31:53- I was just going to say, if you want to hear about wars, wars and more wars...- We had a war here.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55If you want to hear about conflict between neighbouring countries...
0:31:55 > 0:31:57- Casualty - his toe.- My toe.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00- Oh, no.- In years to come it'll be on a poster outside the city.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Griff may have learnt all about the history of Dubrovnik,
0:32:05 > 0:32:11but we had tried the Irish pubs and met Andrea, skipper of this boat, The Magellan.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15- Is this the boat?- Yes.- The Magellan.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18- Very smart. - They're doing a cruise anyway.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20At least as far as Split.
0:32:20 > 0:32:23- Yes, so we can stay on it till then. - How far is Split?
0:32:23 > 0:32:26Hey, Andrea!
0:32:26 > 0:32:28- Hello. Come inside.- Yeah?
0:32:31 > 0:32:35'The Magellan has to relocate to its home of Split to get ready
0:32:35 > 0:32:39'for the start of the tourist season, so we'll have her all to ourselves.'
0:32:44 > 0:32:47'We're hoping we'll be able to find a boat to take us to Venice on one of
0:32:47 > 0:32:50'the islands somewhere between Dubrovnik and Split.
0:32:50 > 0:32:53'It's a vague plan, I know, but this coastline is
0:32:53 > 0:32:57'the boating capital of the Med, so we stand a fighting chance.'
0:33:02 > 0:33:04It's a huge boat for three of us.
0:33:04 > 0:33:07- We never have to see each other for three days.- That'd be great. Oh, my God.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09HE SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE
0:33:09 > 0:33:12Yes. Local beer. You want small or large?
0:33:12 > 0:33:14You are a large man, so...
0:33:14 > 0:33:17Oh, thank you.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Do you watch Only Fools And Horses?
0:33:19 > 0:33:21Yes, on TV? Yeah, yeah.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23It's very good. It was my favourite.
0:33:23 > 0:33:27That is fantastic, thank you very much. What do we say?
0:33:27 > 0:33:28- Zivjeli!- Cheers, cheers, cheers!
0:33:28 > 0:33:31- Zivjeli is the same.- Cheers.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35For a good couple of days.
0:33:46 > 0:33:50We've motored through the night to arrive at Korcula.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Like many of the islands along the Dalmatian coast,
0:33:53 > 0:33:56this innocent place has been controlled,
0:33:56 > 0:34:01invaded, given away and conquered by dozens of empires.
0:34:01 > 0:34:06Greeks and Romans, Genoese, Venetians, Austrians, fascist Italians
0:34:06 > 0:34:09and revolutionary French have all invaded it.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12And now, it's our turn.
0:34:12 > 0:34:17It's famous today as the birthplace of Marco Polo, although that's
0:34:17 > 0:34:21contested by the Venetians, and for its sword dance, the Moreska.
0:34:24 > 0:34:28Today they're practising under the watchful eye of master dancer Tony.
0:34:31 > 0:34:37The solid steel swords are designed to spark when struck hard and produce the distinctive sound
0:34:37 > 0:34:39and rhythm of the dance.
0:34:39 > 0:34:43This, by the way, is an antecedent of morris dancing.
0:34:54 > 0:34:58Bravo! Well done, well done. Hi, how are you?
0:34:58 > 0:35:03- Hello, how are you?- Good.- Hello, how are you?
0:35:03 > 0:35:09Explain to us what's going on. How many different dances are there that people do?
0:35:09 > 0:35:11Basically, seven.
0:35:11 > 0:35:18It's kind of a dance which used to be danced all over the Mediterranean in the past
0:35:18 > 0:35:21to celebrate the victory over the Moors.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23So that's where the name comes from, Moreska.
0:35:23 > 0:35:28The period when the dance originated was the 16th century.
0:35:28 > 0:35:33Basically, this one, this version, spread from Spain in the 11th century
0:35:33 > 0:35:35and spread all over the Mediterranean.
0:35:35 > 0:35:40- It looks very dangerous. - It is dangerous. - Oh, thank you. It is dangerous!
0:35:40 > 0:35:44Have you seen the English morris dancing?
0:35:44 > 0:35:47- Yes.- What do you think?- I don't.
0:35:50 > 0:35:57I mean, in comparison with this, I wouldn't dare to call them sissies, but...
0:35:57 > 0:35:59- Go on!- Go on!
0:36:02 > 0:36:05- No, with all due respect, of course. - Of course!
0:36:05 > 0:36:10- These are real swords. I mean, you see this scar?- Yeah.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12It's like this.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14That's from one of those swords.
0:36:14 > 0:36:19- Tony, do any women take part in the dance?- No, only this one maiden, and basically, she's doing nothing.
0:36:19 > 0:36:25I mean, she's having a role in this dialogue, and it ends with a kiss.
0:36:25 > 0:36:29If we did it, could I play the maiden, please?
0:36:29 > 0:36:32I'm not kissing you!
0:36:32 > 0:36:36- Forget the kiss.- We never really had such an ugly one.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39It happens regularly that somebody gets hit on the finger,
0:36:39 > 0:36:45- and the finger breaks in about five pieces, and then they screw it together.- Excellent.
0:36:45 > 0:36:50'With those words of reassurance, we can start to learn with confidence.'
0:36:50 > 0:36:53At the same time, the same time.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56'It's a rare thing that I actually get told to thrust a sword in Dara's face'.
0:36:56 > 0:37:00- Now?- Yeah, that's what you do.
0:37:00 > 0:37:01Great, OK.
0:37:01 > 0:37:07'As ever, it look like the prospect of severe maiming or laceration is drawing a crowd'.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10You do this, this and you go like this.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13I go that side? Yes.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Other shows may, for one reason or another, sort of film the tourist
0:37:17 > 0:37:23attractions, but we have come here to the Dalmatian coast and become
0:37:23 > 0:37:27a tourist attraction ourselves, which is a first for British television, I think.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33I notice once again that I am utterly redundant.
0:37:33 > 0:37:37I suppose I could fall on my fake swords
0:37:37 > 0:37:42while these two learn to bash each other over the head, which is something I'd quite like to see.
0:37:44 > 0:37:50'Sadly, Griff, I don't think that's going to happen, as Dara appears to be stealing the show'.
0:37:52 > 0:37:53That's good.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56I'm loving this.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00Rather pathetically,
0:38:00 > 0:38:03I'm playing the left-handed card.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05I did say to him, "Is it a problem if you're left-handed?"
0:38:05 > 0:38:08He said "No, no... yes, it is, you out."
0:38:08 > 0:38:13So once again, pretending to be left-handed has worked nicely for me.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16I think it's time to teach him some morris dancing, isn't it?
0:38:16 > 0:38:18- Yeah.- The sissy way. Let's get some sticks and beat him up.
0:38:18 > 0:38:19Let's get some bells.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24- He's good. He's good. - Ha, improvised there.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26He's good.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30The only thing, don't you agree, that's lacking...
0:38:30 > 0:38:32- Costume.- Yeah.
0:38:32 > 0:38:35I think you've got to put on the skirt and the bonnet.
0:38:41 > 0:38:45- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE - Bravo!
0:38:45 > 0:38:46It's the real thing.
0:38:46 > 0:38:47Thank you.
0:38:49 > 0:38:50Who will fight me?
0:38:50 > 0:38:53Oh, them, probably.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55Are you marking this?
0:38:55 > 0:38:59I like the Arsenal strip. OK, orchestra!
0:39:09 > 0:39:10Ah!
0:39:17 > 0:39:19Trying to find a way out of this now.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22Just die! >
0:39:23 > 0:39:25- Hooray! - APPLAUSE
0:39:28 > 0:39:29Come to the judges.
0:39:33 > 0:39:37To be honest, I was kind of toying with them a bit there.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41- AS LEN GOODMAN: - Dara, first of all, well done, son.
0:39:41 > 0:39:46When you come on that floor, I thought, "He's not going to be a Moreska dancer", but when you got
0:39:46 > 0:39:51into the dance, to be fair, you done a passable impression of a Moreska dancer and I thought "fair play".
0:39:51 > 0:39:54You did a few stumbles, you weren't pointing your toes,
0:39:54 > 0:39:59but you did a cracking good performance, so well done, son. ..Bruno.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02- ITALIAN ACCENT: - Well, I liked it, but...
0:40:02 > 0:40:04he was all over the place.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06There was no passion from the Moreska.
0:40:06 > 0:40:11You have to dance the Moreska with passion and precision,
0:40:11 > 0:40:13and everything there was just a mess.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15- He's a beginner, Bruno.- No, no!
0:40:15 > 0:40:18I think he done all right. Give the boy a break. Anyway, let's score him.
0:40:18 > 0:40:207!
0:40:20 > 0:40:22I can only give you 5.
0:40:22 > 0:40:26Oh, boo. Boo. Boo.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28Boo! BOOING
0:40:28 > 0:40:29Yeah.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35That's what I think of you and your marks.
0:40:35 > 0:40:39We didn't get marks back when we were fighting the Moors-slash-the Turks, can't remember which.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41Didn't get marked back then, did we?
0:40:45 > 0:40:50I could wear this for the rest of the shoot, but these are the best.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54Oh, that was a spark.
0:40:54 > 0:40:55I'd take these home,
0:40:55 > 0:40:59but surely there'd be a hand luggage issue with this.
0:40:59 > 0:41:02Presumably they'd stop you with this.
0:41:04 > 0:41:07Dara may have fallen in love with a pair of swords and a silly hat
0:41:07 > 0:41:09but we can't sail to Italy on them,
0:41:09 > 0:41:14so we must leave them and Korcula behind in search of a boat that can get us to Venice.
0:41:14 > 0:41:20The skipper has been told to head for Vis.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23Vis is the closest Croatian island to Italy.
0:41:23 > 0:41:28It has a big harbour, lots of boats and tourists.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31Perhaps this is where we will hop on to Venice.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36In the meantime on this boat, we're sort of passengers.
0:41:36 > 0:41:40Usually, we let off a rope or we pull on a rope
0:41:40 > 0:41:44or we start the engine or something or go and look at the engine,
0:41:44 > 0:41:45but we're just passengers,
0:41:45 > 0:41:50so I'm just calculating the distance we've come.
0:41:50 > 0:41:5420, 40, 60, 80...
0:41:54 > 0:41:55120.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58We've come about 130 miles.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01We are still...
0:42:01 > 0:42:05We're still about 100, 200 miles from Venice.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10That's where we are. That's us.
0:42:10 > 0:42:14Here is Croatia,
0:42:14 > 0:42:16and here...
0:42:16 > 0:42:21is the island of Vis.
0:42:21 > 0:42:22And we are...
0:42:22 > 0:42:25# Doodle-oddle-ooo! #
0:42:26 > 0:42:31..5.4 nautical miles from the entrance to Vis.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38Good, isn't it?
0:42:44 > 0:42:49Lying just 60 miles from Italy, Vis has always been of huge strategic importance,
0:42:49 > 0:42:54and has throughout its long history been fought over in countless naval battles.
0:42:54 > 0:42:55During the Second World War
0:42:55 > 0:43:00it was both where the British fleet was stationed and home to Tito's Partisans.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05What we're getting here is an inter-connectiveness,
0:43:05 > 0:43:08because this is also Tito country.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10- We left Tito country before.- Yeah.
0:43:10 > 0:43:14Evelyn Waugh was here as well, and he was working for the commandos.
0:43:14 > 0:43:18Oh, yeah. What did he say about Tito?
0:43:18 > 0:43:22He decided that Tito, who was quite difficult to meet
0:43:22 > 0:43:25and was living in the cave next door, was a lesbian.
0:43:25 > 0:43:29And so in order to amuse himself and the rest of the British contingent,
0:43:29 > 0:43:32he put it about that Tito was a lesbian, which annoyed Tito so much
0:43:32 > 0:43:35that he came down when they went on a swimming expedition,
0:43:35 > 0:43:40- Tito wore a particularly skimpy pair of swimming trunks... - He put it about as well, Tito.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43- ..in order to reveal that he was, in fact, all man.- Yes.
0:43:43 > 0:43:45THEY CHUCKLE
0:43:45 > 0:43:46Yes.
0:43:49 > 0:43:55As we enter the harbour, one thing is striking - the lack of boats.
0:43:55 > 0:43:59Usually, this harbour would be teaming with them,
0:43:59 > 0:44:02but that's in the summer, not in April.
0:44:04 > 0:44:10Still, there are lots of things to recommend Vis, despite the absence of boats.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12One is the absence of cars.
0:44:12 > 0:44:16So Rory and I get on our bikes and create the absence of Dara.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19You're on the wrong side of the road, by the way.
0:44:19 > 0:44:24'Because Vis was a military base, it was closed to tourists until 1998,
0:44:24 > 0:44:26'and so it is an unspoilt gem of an island
0:44:26 > 0:44:31'where the locals carry on their traditional way of life, farming and fishing.'
0:44:35 > 0:44:40Most importantly for me, however, it's reputed to produce the best wine in the Balkans.
0:44:42 > 0:44:47And since we're moored for the night, I'm stocking up for the evening
0:44:47 > 0:44:51at the cellars of a local vineyard housed in an old World War II bunker.
0:44:52 > 0:44:59- This is 2006. This is very good wine.- It's drinking well.
0:44:59 > 0:45:04- A little dry.- Yeah. - A little bit of tannin on it. Little bit of acid in the taste.
0:45:04 > 0:45:08- Yeah, there is a lot of tannin, you know.- Yeah.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10I'm trying to do the language thing.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13I'm just enjoying the drink, to be honest, I really don't know...
0:45:13 > 0:45:15how to communicate this to your television,
0:45:15 > 0:45:19other than you can see the speed at which I'm drinking it...
0:45:19 > 0:45:23- This is really good. This is very nice, it's 2006?- 2006.
0:45:23 > 0:45:27The 2006s are drinking very well. They are drinking excellently.
0:45:31 > 0:45:36On the edge of town, we discover that wherever foreign empires have gone
0:45:36 > 0:45:39the British have inevitably got stuck in too.
0:45:42 > 0:45:48"After more than 100 years, British soldiers and sailors who fought and died for their country's honour
0:45:48 > 0:45:55"on the seas and islands of Dalmatia have been laid to rest in this island cemetery, 1944."
0:45:55 > 0:45:58After more than 100 years?
0:45:59 > 0:46:01That must have been 1844.
0:46:01 > 0:46:06"Here dead lie we, because we did not choose to live
0:46:06 > 0:46:09"and shame the land from which we sprung.
0:46:09 > 0:46:13"Life, to be sure, is nothing much to lose,
0:46:13 > 0:46:17"but young men think it is and we were young."
0:46:20 > 0:46:22It's a very serene place.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24Look where we're standing.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27We're standing on hallowed ground.
0:46:27 > 0:46:32Vis was not just an important British base in the Second World War
0:46:32 > 0:46:37but also during the Napoleonic Wars a century earlier.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41It's wine of the island, is it?
0:46:41 > 0:46:44It is wine of the island, and it's stored in Marshal Tito's caves.
0:46:44 > 0:46:50Better than that - the wine's good, but better than that, he runs a cricket team.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53- Marshal Tito played cricket? - Marshal Tito played...
0:46:53 > 0:46:56No, you've mixed up the different things here.
0:46:56 > 0:46:58Tito didn't play cricket. The wine-maker, Tony, plays cricket.
0:46:58 > 0:47:03They have a cricket team, and they'd like us to compete on their behalf against a German cricket team.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Is Tony English?
0:47:05 > 0:47:09No, he's local. It's a Croatian-based cricket team.
0:47:09 > 0:47:15Presumably when there was a British Army...resting here, they played cricket,
0:47:15 > 0:47:18and whoever was the general there was missing home terribly.
0:47:18 > 0:47:20- We saw the plaque.- Ah.
0:47:20 > 0:47:24We went to the cemetery and we saw the plaque about the Napoleonic wars.
0:47:24 > 0:47:31As the only English person between the Welshman and the Irishman, can I just say that I never real...
0:47:31 > 0:47:33MEN SING
0:47:33 > 0:47:36- ..really liked cricket very much. - That was unexpected.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39I think you're going to have to grow to like it.
0:47:39 > 0:47:41THEY SING IN THEIR NATIVE TONGUE
0:47:41 > 0:47:46'Magellan is, after all, a sort of mini-cruise ship,
0:47:46 > 0:47:49'and in-keeping with that, entertainment has been laid on,
0:47:49 > 0:47:52'although this group's day job is in the local docks.'
0:48:26 > 0:48:27Bravo!
0:48:29 > 0:48:32Can we offer you a glass of wine?
0:48:32 > 0:48:35- You sing another song and I'll get some glasses.- You get the glasses.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38I'll get some glasses.
0:48:38 > 0:48:40THEY RESUME SINGING
0:48:56 > 0:48:59# We all live in a yellow submarine
0:48:59 > 0:49:00# A yellow submarine
0:49:00 > 0:49:02# A yellow submarine
0:49:02 > 0:49:06# And the band begins to play...
0:49:06 > 0:49:08# Ba-ba-ba-bam
0:49:08 > 0:49:11# Bam-bam bam-bam-bam Ba-ba-ba-bam bam-bam-bam
0:49:11 > 0:49:16# We all live in a yellow submarine... #
0:49:20 > 0:49:25I like the Magellan, but I haven't seen a sail since we left Dubrovnik.
0:49:25 > 0:49:29Fortunately for me, circumstances and a crate of island wine
0:49:29 > 0:49:34have conspired to give me a little bit of time to indulge myself at the other end of the island,
0:49:34 > 0:49:36in Komiza.
0:49:36 > 0:49:43It's great to be here so early, not just early in the morning, but early in the season.
0:49:43 > 0:49:48It just feels...pure,
0:49:48 > 0:49:51and not many Mediterranean places feel pure.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53I'm looking for Pino.
0:49:53 > 0:49:59'Pino owns a traditional fishing boat, and he's agreed to take me out in it.'
0:49:59 > 0:50:02- Morning, Pino.- Morning.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04- How are you today?- I'm good.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06Where are your friends?
0:50:06 > 0:50:12They're asleep. The trouble is, they're only moderately interested in a lovely boat like this.
0:50:12 > 0:50:15And I like the boat a lot.
0:50:15 > 0:50:18- Can I give you a hand?- Yes, please.
0:50:18 > 0:50:20OK, I'll jump aboard.
0:50:27 > 0:50:31The falkusa boat is not only sleek and beautiful, it's efficient and beautiful.
0:50:31 > 0:50:36The 500-year-old design is unique to Komiza.
0:50:36 > 0:50:40The fleet race out to the fishing grounds in order to get the best fishing spot,
0:50:40 > 0:50:44and race back to be first in the market.
0:50:44 > 0:50:47It was a fast boat, capable of carrying eight tonnes of fish
0:50:47 > 0:50:52on a 25-day trip, and now they've all gone.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55OK, now we're sailing.
0:50:55 > 0:50:58- Very good.- We can go to Italy.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01Yes! 'This is a replica, but it sails like the original.'
0:51:01 > 0:51:04- She's sailing herself?- Yeah.
0:51:04 > 0:51:09That's the point of every sailing boat.
0:51:09 > 0:51:10Yeah, very nicely balanced.
0:51:10 > 0:51:15'With the lateen sail set correctly she can hit a speed of 12 knots,
0:51:15 > 0:51:18'and they say the rudder starts to quiver like a contented cat.'
0:51:18 > 0:51:20Look at that!
0:51:20 > 0:51:25The bowsprit is sort of bending completely over.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29Yeah, now it's purring.
0:51:29 > 0:51:30It's purring!
0:51:30 > 0:51:33It's purring now, I can feel it in my hand.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44'I suppose heading to Venice on my own is not allowed.'
0:51:54 > 0:51:59- You ready? You want a soft one? - Yeah, go on. Nice and gentle.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01Oh, nice.
0:52:01 > 0:52:05- That's the best it's going to be today.- Rory...- Oh, hello.- Hi.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07- How was the fishing?- It was good.
0:52:07 > 0:52:09I've got some fish, but we didn't fish for it.
0:52:09 > 0:52:11Did they come from the fishmongers?
0:52:11 > 0:52:14Yes, I got them from the stall in the market.
0:52:14 > 0:52:16- Very good. What are they? - I don't know.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18A couple of red ones and a big, fat, grey one.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20That sounds like us!
0:52:20 > 0:52:22It's a perfect description.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25Is this the cricket pitch?
0:52:25 > 0:52:26- Yeah.- Yes.
0:52:26 > 0:52:30- What are we doing?- We're playing cricket against the MCC.
0:52:30 > 0:52:32The Munich Cricket Club.
0:52:32 > 0:52:36There are two dogs running around, and every time the ball is thrown,
0:52:36 > 0:52:40one of the dogs picks the ball up and runs off into the bushes with it.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43- That's our only hope. - Aim for the dogs.- OK.
0:52:43 > 0:52:44See you in a minute.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46I don't know what to do with my fish now.
0:52:46 > 0:52:52- It'll go off, won't it?- Why did he bring fish to a cricket match?
0:53:00 > 0:53:04Well, this is a very tough looking team from Munich.
0:53:04 > 0:53:09But unlike most German cricketers I know, they look like they know what they're doing,
0:53:09 > 0:53:12mainly because they're British expat bankers.
0:53:12 > 0:53:16Then there's us, completely clueless.
0:53:16 > 0:53:22And believing our ignorance to be modesty, captain Craig is putting us in to bat first.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25- You guys need to wear a box. - Now you tell us.
0:53:25 > 0:53:29- It's best to put them on before you put your pads on.- OK.
0:53:29 > 0:53:34- Has that been washed?- It's been drunk out of, but never washed.
0:53:34 > 0:53:38- It's a bit supermar... - I haven't got that much to protect.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40If you just need a junior...
0:53:40 > 0:53:44We don't share the pads, but we do share the boxes.
0:53:44 > 0:53:47Especially in this heat... Oh, I'm not wearing that one.
0:53:47 > 0:53:50- Where has that come from? - It's had a lot of runs, has this.
0:53:50 > 0:53:55- YORKSHIRE ACCENT:- It's had a lot of runs, that one. Aye.
0:53:55 > 0:53:59- That box has seen some trouble, that box!- Forward to new victories.
0:53:59 > 0:54:04- Are you ready to go?- Let's do it. - This is the tradition round here. - Oh! It's come out the back.
0:54:04 > 0:54:06Here we go.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09Thank you.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12So here, off the coast of Dalmatia, where the ancient Greeks
0:54:12 > 0:54:15and Romans first left traces of their civilisation,
0:54:15 > 0:54:18where the galleys of Venice plied their trade,
0:54:18 > 0:54:22where the Ottoman empire came knocking at the door,
0:54:22 > 0:54:26where the Serbs, Montenegrins, Bosnians and Croatians struggled for their identity,
0:54:26 > 0:54:33the British have left behind a perfect way of wasting a sunny afternoon.
0:54:33 > 0:54:34And Dara's first to bat.
0:54:34 > 0:54:38Let's see what he can do against the German attack.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42Oh, that's a good first ball.
0:54:42 > 0:54:44He just needs to find his line and length.
0:54:44 > 0:54:46Just toying with him.
0:54:46 > 0:54:50And Dara just needs to find where the wicket is.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55- It's not there. - Don't let them suck you in, Dara.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57Yeah, I can see what he's doing.
0:55:00 > 0:55:05Oh, bugger me! And a little cheeky hook goes for a four.
0:55:05 > 0:55:12Well, he's got his eye, and this one goes sky high, over the boundary for a six.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15Who'd have thought it?
0:55:17 > 0:55:19We're going nowhere, Dara, today.
0:55:19 > 0:55:22Get some sandwiches, folks. We're bedding in.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26Bowler changes ends and McGrath faces his first ball,
0:55:26 > 0:55:30and his second, his third and his fourth.
0:55:30 > 0:55:32Lunch?
0:55:34 > 0:55:39Well, no score there, but the first ball... Oh, that does the damage!
0:55:39 > 0:55:41Out for ten.
0:55:41 > 0:55:43Lovely!
0:55:45 > 0:55:48- Watch out for Igor, that's all I'm saying.- Igor?
0:55:48 > 0:55:50Igor is the man who got me out.
0:55:50 > 0:55:52OK, is your box in the right place?
0:55:52 > 0:55:54- I don't know.- Is it protecting everything you need to protect?
0:55:54 > 0:55:57You've already got kids, so it's nothing major.
0:55:57 > 0:55:59The fear has overcome me. Whatever was down there...
0:55:59 > 0:56:02You're past breeding age, it's all right.
0:56:02 > 0:56:06'So Rhys Jones at the crease to face his first ball.
0:56:06 > 0:56:10'Look at the authority, show them who's boss.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13'Down to McGrath. He makes contact.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16'Oh, the Germans have caught him! Wunderbar.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19'Das war wunderbar. McGrath is kaput.
0:56:22 > 0:56:26'But Rhys Jones is making a stand. He's putting runs on the board.
0:56:26 > 0:56:30'How long can he last in the midday sun?
0:56:30 > 0:56:33'That's how long he lasts. He's out, he's out.
0:56:33 > 0:56:37- 'He's gone. One of the great innings is over.'- Thank you.
0:56:37 > 0:56:38'He walks away with a four.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41'O'Briain got ten.
0:56:41 > 0:56:42'McGrath got nothing.
0:56:42 > 0:56:44'Time for tea.'
0:56:44 > 0:56:49It's interesting the way cricket is a great game for revealing the true nature of a man.
0:56:49 > 0:56:54Griff was edgy and nervous, Rory was avuncular and predominantly static
0:56:54 > 0:57:01and I was swashbuckling and ultimately doomed to tragic failure, but heroically.
0:57:01 > 0:57:05And now we just sit in a field in the sun for the rest of the day.
0:57:05 > 0:57:08You can see why the Irish have really taken to cricket.
0:57:10 > 0:57:14- 'Next time...'- We're on blag alert.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16- Are you going to Venice?- No, no, no.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19- OK.- 'The race to find a boat to Venice gets desperate.'
0:57:19 > 0:57:22I don't know if I can go through with this.
0:57:22 > 0:57:25I'm just not made to beg for a lift.
0:57:25 > 0:57:27'And so does Rory.'
0:57:27 > 0:57:30- Do you speak English?- Of course.
0:57:30 > 0:57:35'Griff finds his idea of boating perfection.'
0:57:35 > 0:57:39'And gets in the way of mine.' I can't see the sunset, because you're in the way!
0:57:39 > 0:57:43'But whether on the water, under it, or even over it...'
0:57:43 > 0:57:46You could be in Pula on Tuesday?
0:57:46 > 0:57:49'..our chances of getting to Venice start to evaporate.'
0:57:49 > 0:57:51OK, that might well be a problem.
0:57:51 > 0:57:53'And alarmingly, so too do Griff's clothes.'
0:57:53 > 0:57:56- Nut?- No fear!
0:58:17 > 0:58:20Subtitles by Red Bee Media
0:58:20 > 0:58:23E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk