Browse content similar to 2015. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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Help the hero. Help the hero. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
Any spare change? Help the hero? | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
Help the hero? Any spare change, pal? Cheers, pal. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:14 | |
Help the hero! Help the hero! | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
Well, as, as a lifelong feminist, I... I give my full support to | 0:00:27 | 0:00:32 | |
Nicola Sturgeon, Mhairi Black, and Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:36 | |
And I... I passionately embrace this... | 0:00:36 | 0:00:39 | |
this new forward-looking, feminine side of the SNP. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:45 | |
# Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? | 0:00:55 | 0:00:59 | |
# Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? | 0:00:59 | 0:01:03 | |
# Don't cha? | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
# Don't cha? # | 0:01:06 | 0:01:09 | |
Mark, apart from the things that are still the same, | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
what would you say has changed? | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
Well, I.. I'd like to see the stats, | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
but, basically, we... We play a high pressing game. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
Bish, bash, bosh, 4-0, thank you and goodnight. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
And that's all down to training hard, tactical awareness, | 0:01:22 | 0:01:26 | |
and playing against, with the greatest respect, crap opposition. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:30 | |
Warbs, what about the fantastic Rangers supporters? | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
Haven't they been fantastic? | 0:01:33 | 0:01:34 | |
Well, respectfully, we've got the best fans in the world. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
I mean, fans who will stand in all weathers to hurl abuse | 0:01:37 | 0:01:41 | |
at former club officials as they leave the Sheriff Court. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
Yeah, since I came here, the fans have been magnificent. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
The fact that so many of them work in the press, is a bonus. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:51 | |
Ronny, people say you're unable to change things in Europe. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
No. That's... That's clearly not true. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:59 | |
I have a track record here at Celtic, of making changes in Europe. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:03 | |
Before I came here, Celtic used to play in Champions League, | 0:02:03 | 0:02:07 | |
I changed that. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:08 | |
They were in competition after Christmas, I changed that. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
They didn't win away ties, I didn't change that. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:15 | |
Check this move. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
Awesome. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
'Out now, Grand Theft FIFA 2015.' | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
Coming soon to BBC Scotland... | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
hard-hitting drama that hits hard. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:43 | |
You've been away. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:48 | |
Aye. I've been away. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
But now I'm back. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
The story of a man who's been away... | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
but comes back. | 0:02:58 | 0:02:59 | |
Starring someone from River City from yonks ago. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
Where have you been? | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
Away. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:06 | |
But I'm back. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:09 | |
And someone you remember from Taggart, but cannae place... | 0:03:09 | 0:03:12 | |
Well, well, well. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
..playing a polis. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
Been away, have you? | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
Aye. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
But now I'm back. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
And...Peter Mullan. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:24 | |
So, you go your merry way, | 0:03:26 | 0:03:30 | |
and come back from being away like you've never been away. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:34 | |
Well, now you're back, you might wish you were away, | 0:03:34 | 0:03:38 | |
but you're not away, son, you're back. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:42 | |
Not away. Back. Not away. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:46 | |
Back. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:47 | |
He was away and now he's back. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
And then, in an unexpected twist... | 0:03:50 | 0:03:54 | |
That's me away again. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:55 | |
You don't come back. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:00 | |
Welcome to a town that's tough to leave. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:08 | |
I'm back. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
# I would like to leave this city | 0:04:17 | 0:04:21 | |
# This whole town don't smell too pretty | 0:04:21 | 0:04:24 | |
# And I can feel the warning signs running around my mind... # | 0:04:24 | 0:04:31 | |
12 months on from the Commonwealth Games, | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
what sort of legacy have they left behind? | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
Do we Scots still have the same get up and go? | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
Are we up for doing more exercise? | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
I've come to this city park to find out. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
-Hi, there. -You all right? | 0:04:50 | 0:04:53 | |
I take it you're in training for some sort of endurance test? | 0:04:53 | 0:04:56 | |
No, just stealing tyres. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
I'm Stevie Connell | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
and you're watching STV Rutherglen. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:08 | |
For all your haunels... | 0:05:08 | 0:05:12 | |
come to Connell's Haunels Direct for all your haunel requirements. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:16 | |
Need caunels, tae? | 0:05:16 | 0:05:17 | |
Come to Connell's Caunels Direct for all your caunel requirements. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:22 | |
Yous are wanting saunels? | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
Come to Connell's Saunels Direct for all your saunel requirements. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
And internet shoppers, gouch on your couch, tap your phone, | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
and bulk buy wan-click for Connell's haunels, caunels, and saunels, | 0:05:32 | 0:05:36 | |
via Connell's haunels, caunels, and saunels direct online. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:40 | |
Now, we don't want to be accused of trial by Sportscene | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
or alerting the compliance officer, | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
but as always, there's a bit of controversy involving the referee. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
So, should this have been a red card? | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
Well, from that angle, it's difficult to tell. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:55 | |
But if you look at it from this angle, you know, | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
I'd have to say, there's not much contact there. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:02 | |
No, no, no. For me, that is just two players coming together. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
No red card. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
So, in this instance, it would seem the referee got it right. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:12 | |
No, I think we're in with a great chance of finishing at... | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
at the top of the table this year, because Ronny keeps telling us, that | 0:06:15 | 0:06:19 | |
the only team that can stop Celtic from winning the league, is Celtic. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:23 | |
And I've looked at the rest of the season's fixtures, | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
and, luckily, we're not playing them. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
Good evening, sir. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
See anything you fancy? | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
What's the speciality? | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
Pulled pork. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:39 | |
Yes, please. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:44 | |
I think the loan system is a good system. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:52 | |
For example, you have Tyler Blackett, who is very, | 0:06:52 | 0:06:58 | |
very good player. | 0:06:58 | 0:06:59 | |
I rate him very highly. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
I see him as someone with a, with a big future at Manchester United, | 0:07:01 | 0:07:06 | |
but he needs, he needs game time, | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
and that is why I send him on loan to Celtic. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:13 | |
So, Louis, would you like him back? | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
No chance. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:16 | |
Andy and Kim, 2015 has been such an exciting 12 months for you. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:23 | |
The wedding of the year, the Davis Cup victory, | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
and soon the pitter-patter of tiny feet. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:27 | |
How do you feel about becoming parents? | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
Yeah, you know, ecstatic. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:31 | |
And you, Kim? | 0:07:31 | 0:07:32 | |
-I can't -BLEEP -wait. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
-It's been a big -BLEEP -change that's for sure. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
-But with this -BLEEP -beside me, I'll -BLEEP -be a -BLEEP | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
-the best -BLEEP -parents the tennis -BLEEP -world has ever -BLEEP -seen. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:46 | |
You off to a big party for the bells? | 0:07:51 | 0:07:54 | |
Do you want a bag for that? It's five pence. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:57 | |
Erm... | 0:07:57 | 0:08:00 | |
A new year can mean new financial decisions. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:06 | |
Your Hogmanay carry out is more than just a carry out, | 0:08:10 | 0:08:15 | |
it's a statement of who you are. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
What you need is a poly bag. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
Five pence might seem a lot, but it's a solid investment that could | 0:08:21 | 0:08:26 | |
stop you from looking a right walloper. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
Nah. Nah. Don't need one. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
Telt you. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:47 | |
Speaking as Lady Mone of Mayfair, which am are, | 0:08:49 | 0:08:53 | |
coming to my work in the standard gear for the peer of the realm, | 0:08:53 | 0:08:57 | |
this scarlet ermine housecoat has gied me a new | 0:08:57 | 0:09:00 | |
idea for a sensuous new range in the lingerie, which I'm about to test | 0:09:00 | 0:09:05 | |
out on one of my workmates, Lord Dalston-Faulkenberry-Smythe here. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
I say. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:13 | |
Aye, that's the desired effect. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
Welcome to Embarrassed Bodies. This week, we're in Scotland. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:25 | |
Excuse me, sir. Do you have anything to be embarrassed about? | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
Embarrassed? Aye, look at the state of this! | 0:09:30 | 0:09:34 | |
I like this vodka | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
and I like this vodka. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:47 | |
I like this frozen doner kebab, and... | 0:09:48 | 0:09:54 | |
I like this frozen doner kebab. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:58 | |
Huh?! | 0:10:01 | 0:10:02 | |
I like this hair of the dog... | 0:10:05 | 0:10:09 | |
and I like this hair of the dog. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:13 | |
For when you don't care what goes down your neck, give it Laldi. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:17 | |
Aye, well, that's right. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:22 | |
You know, I started up a new league for walking football teams. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:27 | |
None of the players are allowed to run, tackle, | 0:10:27 | 0:10:30 | |
or even break into a sweat. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
Got the idea from watching Celtic in Europe. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
MUSIC PLAYS | 0:10:37 | 0:10:40 | |
And now to the big one. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:46 | |
The Heroic Hero Outstanding Lifetime Unsung Achievement Award. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:51 | |
For a hing achieved in a lifetime. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:54 | |
And the nominations are... | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
Jock McCorkindale, an old soldier, | 0:10:57 | 0:11:01 | |
because he's old and he used to be a soldier. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
God bless you, son. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
By the way, will somebody take that bayonet off him? | 0:11:06 | 0:11:08 | |
Going to have somebody's eye out. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:10 | |
Next nominee, loan shark with a conscience, | 0:11:10 | 0:11:14 | |
Terry 'Mad Dog' McBlurty, who only charges the people | 0:11:14 | 0:11:18 | |
in his scheme a mere 5,000% interest on loan deals and initially will | 0:11:18 | 0:11:23 | |
only break the fingers of the haun they don't use if they cannae pay. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:27 | |
Such compassion, big man. Marvellous. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:30 | |
The next nominee is Wee Davey of Davey's Dynamite, | 0:11:30 | 0:11:36 | |
official supplier of quality explosives to the | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
Glasgow City Council. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
The man who very nearly brought down the Red Road flats. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
I think we can see a bit of Davey's work in action now. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
Nae luck, wee man. So near and yet so far. | 0:11:56 | 0:12:00 | |
And now on Channel 4, | 0:12:00 | 0:12:03 | |
we head north as First Dates comes to Glasgow. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:07 | |
The blind date can be magical. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:09 | |
My pals call me Billy, | 0:12:13 | 0:12:16 | |
but my full name is William Williamson McWilliam. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
My pals call me Terry, | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
but my real name is Theresa Marie Bernadette McCafferty. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
Opposites attract, don't they? | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
Have you got any brothers or sisters? | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
Just the six brothers and the four sisters. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
There's Henrik, Hoopy, Walfrid, Jinky, Wee Jinky, and Lubo. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:39 | |
And then there's Margaret-Mary, Mary-Margaret, Anne-Marie | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
and Lizzie. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:42 | |
Lizzie? | 0:12:42 | 0:12:43 | |
Named after her most glorious Britannic Majesty, the Queen? | 0:12:43 | 0:12:47 | |
-No, it's short for Lisbon. -Never heard of it. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:51 | |
What every great lover knows, it is vital to eat well. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:57 | |
I'll have the special. | 0:12:57 | 0:12:58 | |
Excellent choice. And for you, sir? | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
Steak. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:02 | |
And how would you like that cooked? | 0:13:02 | 0:13:05 | |
Fried. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:06 | |
Aye, sis, it's going great. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
I mean, we've got our differences but I think we're really connecting. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:14 | |
Hello. Is that the phone-in? Can I speak to Mr Keevins? | 0:13:14 | 0:13:19 | |
And finally, we have come to the most romantic part of the evening. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:24 | |
The end. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
It's been really nice. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
To be honest, aye, it has. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
So, do you have a girlfriend? | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
Oh, aye. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
I was waiting to see what you looked like before I chucked her. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
Oh, really? | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
'Sake. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
Oh, what? | 0:13:46 | 0:13:47 | |
Excuse me, do you do tattoo alterations? | 0:13:48 | 0:13:52 | |
I do, aye. Show us. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:53 | |
Well, see how it says Scott Allan - Rangers for Life? | 0:13:53 | 0:13:57 | |
Yeah, mate. And you want it changed to Celtic for Life? | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
If you wouldnae mind. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:01 | |
Aye, that's not a problem. That happens all the time. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:04 | |
What about the Scott Allan bit? I can change that, too. | 0:14:04 | 0:14:08 | |
I am Scott Allan. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:09 | |
When I came to Celtic I said I'd make the players fitter, and I have. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:14 | |
Now James Forrest limps much faster than he used to. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
-Hiya, doll. -Oh, hiya. -On the e-fags, aye? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
Aye. But I'm wanting to chuck them for good. You? | 0:14:23 | 0:14:26 | |
Nah, I'm still tabbing away, mate. On these new ones, brilliant. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:31 | |
Still feels like a smoke, still looks like a smoke, | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
still smokes like a smoke, | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
but according to the packet, doesn't actually contain any smoke. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:40 | |
Wow, what are they called? | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
Volkswagens. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
Sir Alex, 2015 has undoubtedly been a momentous year for literature, | 0:14:47 | 0:14:52 | |
but the business book of the year has to be Leading. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
How does this compare with your other works? | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
Well, Kirsty, first there was my gardening book, Weeding. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:03 | |
Then there was my baking book, Kneading. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
And now, ah, yes, there's my latest book, Leading. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:11 | |
And broadly speaking, what is the main focus of your book? | 0:15:11 | 0:15:15 | |
It's about leading and, and leadership because, you know, | 0:15:15 | 0:15:21 | |
the principles are the same, you know, | 0:15:21 | 0:15:23 | |
whether you're leading a multi-million pound football club | 0:15:23 | 0:15:27 | |
like Manchester United or you're, you're leading half | 0:15:27 | 0:15:31 | |
the Govan Young Team against the Maryhill Fleet. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
You, though, have been demonstrating your leadership | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
skills on the lucrative lecture circuit. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:41 | |
You know, you've done a very prestigious seminar | 0:15:41 | 0:15:43 | |
at no less a place than Harvard in Boston. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:46 | |
Oh, proud. Very proud. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:49 | |
Harvard were very proud to get hold of me. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
But it was a particular privilege for, for these Ivy Leaguers to, | 0:15:52 | 0:15:57 | |
to listen, you know? | 0:15:57 | 0:15:58 | |
And, and to learn. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
Right now, a man has to get a fox, a hen, | 0:16:00 | 0:16:06 | |
and a bag of grain across a river in a rowing boat. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:10 | |
Now, instantly, you have to say to yourself, | 0:16:11 | 0:16:15 | |
that is plainly a ridiculous way for a grown man to behave. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:21 | |
What's he doing with a fox, anyway? These animals aren't domesticated. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:25 | |
This here is a pie chart, right? | 0:16:26 | 0:16:31 | |
You see that red bit? | 0:16:31 | 0:16:32 | |
That's how much of the pie Wayne Rooney would eat. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:36 | |
It's a Mexican in a sombrero frying an egg for his breakfast. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:42 | |
See? The full picture. It's marvellous. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:46 | |
Well, now that we've actually witnessed your leadership | 0:16:46 | 0:16:48 | |
skills in action, Sir Alex, I assume then you think it's very | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
important to lead from the front? | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
Absolutely. I mean, that's... Well, that's crucial, Kirsty. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:57 | |
I mean, there can only be one leader. | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
You know, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-conquering, | 0:17:00 | 0:17:04 | |
and that was, that was me at Manchester United. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
I mean, just look at my record, you know? | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
League Cups, FA Cups, League titles, Cup Winner's Cup, Champions League, | 0:17:10 | 0:17:16 | |
World Club Cup. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
And, you know, that's all down to me, and to me alone. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:22 | |
And the appointment of David Moyes as your successor? | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
That was a board decision. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:27 | |
Finally, Sir Alex, who would be your ideal leader? | 0:17:29 | 0:17:33 | |
Well, Kirsty, the... the ideal leader requires the, the philanthropy | 0:17:33 | 0:17:38 | |
of Andrew Carnegie, the oratory of, of Martin Luther King. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:43 | |
And the courage of Churchill? | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
Churchill? | 0:17:45 | 0:17:46 | |
No, I cannae see what a dog out of a car insurance advert can do. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:51 | |
And make no mistake, I'm up there with the most successful | 0:17:51 | 0:17:54 | |
business gurus of recent times. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:56 | |
I'm a Gates, I'm a Jobs, I'm a Branson. | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
-You're a Sugar. -Thank you very much, Kirsty. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
You're a wee sweetheart yourself. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
Sir Alex, thank you very much. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
Now, next week, we'll be looking at a comprehensive new study | 0:18:06 | 0:18:09 | |
of quantum physics by the former Hamilton Accies Manager, Billy Reid. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:14 | |
Goodnight. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:15 | |
Wayne Rooney is still developing. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:20 | |
I, I know this, because he is always asking questions like, | 0:18:20 | 0:18:26 | |
"Can I go to the toilet?" | 0:18:26 | 0:18:29 | |
"Are we nearly there yet?" | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
And, "How come I look like a monkey?" | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
Are you a professional footballer with bags of cash | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
and a receding hairline? | 0:18:39 | 0:18:40 | |
Well, all that can change thanks to us here at the | 0:18:40 | 0:18:44 | |
Glasgow Napperomics Studio in Glasgow. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:47 | |
Thanks to our revolutionary techniques, | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
I've taken the healthy hairs from your skull and attached them | 0:18:49 | 0:18:53 | |
on to the baldy bits. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:54 | |
Gen up, man, you wouldn't believe the results. See for yourselves. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:58 | |
The Glasgow Napperomics Studio, gie it a go. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
Aye, the idea of playing Dundee in America is frying my nut. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:17 | |
I mean, I would need to call my trackie troosers, trackie pants. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:20 | |
And if I fell on my bum, I would need to say I've got a sore fanny. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:24 | |
I know all about wise business investments. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:28 | |
That's why I'm standing at this crossroads dressed as an owl. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:34 | |
Sport socks, there's your sport socks, now. Two pairs for £1. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:40 | |
I'm Michael Portillo and what a journey I'm on this week, | 0:19:48 | 0:19:52 | |
in Scotland. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:54 | |
MUSIC PLAYS | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
BABY CRIES | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
Wee Will.I.Am, shut it. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
Here, big man. You want a swally? | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
Here, mate. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
Do you want to hold that a minute, get ma sauce on it. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
Cheers, boss. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:13 | |
Tonight on BBC Scotland, Stuart Cosgrove | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
on The Bay City Rollers. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:27 | |
The rollers, the strollers, the ten-pin bowlers, | 0:20:27 | 0:20:32 | |
they were the quintessentially zeitgeistian pop group of their era. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:38 | |
The National Game, the us and them, the coughed up phlegm, the quint... | 0:20:41 | 0:20:46 | |
The Turner, the butter churner... | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
The pesky wee midgie, the Kessock Bridgie, the ginger... | 0:20:53 | 0:20:58 | |
The rent-a-quote, the reach for the remote, | 0:21:00 | 0:21:03 | |
the Cosgrove get your coat, he is the quintessentially | 0:21:03 | 0:21:07 | |
zeitgeistian intellectual gub of his era. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:12 | |
You cannae beat it! | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
As an emerald disciple of the Celtic truth, I have to say, I appreciate | 0:21:19 | 0:21:24 | |
how down to earth and, and approachable today's Hoops team is. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:27 | |
I mean, take our club captain, Scott Brown. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:30 | |
I mean, you can go up to him in the street, in fact, some nights | 0:21:30 | 0:21:34 | |
you could fall over him in the street. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:36 | |
So, I've just been on my break with my co-workers, | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
the Duke of Montrose, the Marquis of Salisbury | 0:21:41 | 0:21:44 | |
and the Earl of Caithness. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:46 | |
It's amazing how many folk in here are named after pubs. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
Being in the jungle is a real eye-opener. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:55 | |
Sharing a shower, eating disgusting food, and fighting scary beasts. | 0:21:55 | 0:22:01 | |
And that is just Duncan Bannatyne telling me | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
about his upbringing in Clydebank. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
So, I took a break from my dental business in America | 0:22:11 | 0:22:15 | |
and I travelled the world to hunt big game. | 0:22:15 | 0:22:18 | |
I've bagged a lion, an elephant, a giraffe, and a brown bear, | 0:22:18 | 0:22:22 | |
but this is the one I really want. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:25 | |
Right, I've got him in my sight. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
Yes! | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
'New on BBC Scotland, brand-new drama starring Mark Rylance.' | 0:22:43 | 0:22:49 | |
Hang thy bunting, bang thy drum, | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
let the Royal Standard fly proudly in the breeze. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:56 | |
'Specially created for the viewers of South Lanarkshire | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
'from the makers of Wolf Hall.' | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
I prithee my men, don thy white gloves, | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
spark up thy half-bottle, and let us walk. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
The Warbster, you have basically reinvented the game of football. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:22 | |
Can you give us some clues as to how you've achieved this? | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
Well, for example, the players get urine tests every morning to see | 0:23:25 | 0:23:30 | |
if they're hydrated enough. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:31 | |
And if they're not, we get them hydrated. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:35 | |
And what do you hydrate them with? | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
-Liquids. -Genius. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
And finally, Mark, as a former city trader, | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
how do you see the future for Rangers? | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
Well, when it, when it comes to recruiting players, | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
Rangers now have an extensive youth policy, a network of contacts | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
in a worldwide scouting system, all providing us with information | 0:23:50 | 0:23:55 | |
so that we can say, "Sod that, let's sign Kenny Miller again." | 0:23:55 | 0:23:59 | |
Cheers, fellas. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:00 | |
Look, the law lords have said it, right? | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
Between 2001 and 2010, Rangers operated a dodgy financial system | 0:24:06 | 0:24:12 | |
that gave them an unfair sporting advantage over everybody else. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:16 | |
And this has to be acknowledged. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:17 | |
Look, I am, however, a reasonable Celtic man. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:21 | |
So, look, look, I'm not calling for title stripping | 0:24:21 | 0:24:24 | |
or medals taken back. No, no, no. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
All I'm saying is, that a wee asterisk be | 0:24:26 | 0:24:29 | |
put against the titles and the cups Rangers won during these years. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
And a wee line at the bottom of the page that says, | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
"asterisk denotes cheating bastards." | 0:24:35 | 0:24:38 | |
Just want to say happy new year. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:41 | |
But when I say new year, it's still the same year, right? | 0:24:41 | 0:24:47 | |
The old year did not die, | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
you cannot strip the old year out of nothing, this year goes on. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:52 | |
It's just a new name, right? | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
# I would like to leave this city | 0:24:59 | 0:25:03 | |
# This old town don't smell too pretty | 0:25:03 | 0:25:07 | |
# And I can feel the warning signs running around my mind | 0:25:07 | 0:25:14 | |
# And when I leave this island | 0:25:16 | 0:25:20 | |
# I put... # | 0:25:20 | 0:25:21 | |
The force is strong with this one. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:47 | |
# Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? | 0:25:50 | 0:25:54 | |
# Don't cha wish you girlfriend was a freak like me? | 0:25:54 | 0:25:57 | |
# Don't cha? | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
# Don't cha? | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
# Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? | 0:26:06 | 0:26:10 | |
# Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
# Don't cha? | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
# Don't cha? # | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 |