Old School


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Old School

Riotous comedy in which a lawyer gives his thirtysomething friends an opportunity to recapture their college years when he relocates to a local university.


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This film contains very strong language.

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Real estate query engine

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is a virtual Rubicon of information, putting the lawyer himself....

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I'm going to take off, OK? I want to try and catch the two o'clock back.

0:01:020:01:06

You're leaving? Yeah. What about intermission?

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I don't think you can do that. Just cover for me, OK? Get it all.

0:01:080:01:13

I guess. Hey, listen, can we have your badge?

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Oh, yeah! Yeah! It's worth two free drinks at the meet and greet.

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I'm going to the airport. I'm kind of in a hurry, too.

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Er, sorry, your seat belt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?

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I recommend you stop being such a faggot.

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You're in the back seat.

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# Now I've got a bone to pick with you... #

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See?!

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# Oh, one day

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# When you're looking back

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# You were young

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# And, man, you were sad

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# When you're young, you get sad

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# When you're young

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# You get sa-ad

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# And you get high

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# Oh, man... #

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METAL DETECTOR BEEPS

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BEEPING

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BUZZING

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BEEPING

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# Lord, I got high

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# Now you got a bone to pick with me

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# But I wish you'd let me be

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# Oh, one day

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# When you're looking back

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# You were young

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# And, man, you were sad

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# When you're young, you get sad

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# When you're young

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# You get sad

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# And you get high

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# Oh, man

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# Oh, man. #

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Hello?

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Hello?

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Hey, boy! Good boy, Orson.

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Where's Mommy?

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Honey?

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Heidi?

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FEMALE GROANS

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Heidi?!

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Mitch! What are you doing home?

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You totally scared me! I scared you?! For a second there, I thought that...

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I don't even want to say it.

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Wow!

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That's like, er, pretty hard-core.

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Yeah, I know. No! No! I'm not judging.

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Don't be embarrassed. This is a major turn-on.

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Let's go with this. Is this what you do when I'm gone? Wait!

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I do it myself every once in a while, but to magazines.

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Mitch, we need to talk!

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Hello?!

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Aaaargh!

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Be honest, please tell me this is the first time this has happened.

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Do you want me to be honest

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or do you want me to tell you it's the first time?

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Jesus! What is wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with me!

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I tried to tell you about this. What?! When?!

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All the time! Like, like when?

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Like when we're in bed and stuff. In bed?

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I thought you were just talking dirty.

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Well, I was. But I was being serious.

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You said some really sick stuff. Admit it,

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we haven't exactly been living the most exciting lives in the world!

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This is a totally different kind of satisfaction for me.

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It's purely sexual! Whoo!

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Oh...

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I'm really sorry!

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Hello. Yeah?

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I'm here for the gangbang.

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You look a little pale, Mitch. You need to breathe.

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I don't wanna breathe.

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You should be proud of yourself. Do you have any idea how hard it is

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to land a girl who's as sexually enlightened as Heidi?

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I wasn't looking for a girl like that.

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Columbus wasn't looking for America, my man,

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but that worked out for everybody.

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I just want to thank you guys one last time for being here.

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It's the best day ever. Don't even start with me, Frank.

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You need to walk away ASAP. What?!

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You need to get out, Frankie.

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MUSIC: "The Bridal Chorus" By Wagner

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It's now or never. Get out while you're still single.

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I'm not single. She's 30 yards away. You're single right now.

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Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

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Once you give that six months, you don't think that's going to change?

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I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you?

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There's my wife. See that?

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Hi, honey. Judging, watching. "Look at the baby."

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She's coming, Beanie. Let it go.

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All right, I'm going to be the first to say congratulations to you, then.

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You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart.

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Don't listen to him. I need my inhaler.

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Thank you, Daddy.

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It takes a man to give away an angel.

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You look beautiful. Great! HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together

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to join Franklyn...

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HE COUGHS: Don't do it!

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My throat's dry. I'm sorry. I'm a smoker.

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OK...

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# Turn around Every now and then

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# I get a little bit lonely

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# And you're never coming round

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# Turn around Every now and then

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# I get a little bit tired

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# Of listening to the sound of my tears

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# Turn around Every now and then

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# I get a little bit nervous

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# That the best of all the years have gone by

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# Turn around Every now and then

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# I get a little bit terrified

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# I see the fucking look in your eye

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# Turn around, bright eyes

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# Every now and then I fall apart

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# Turn around, bright eyes

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# Fucking every now and then I fall apart

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# And I need you now tonight

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# I fucking need you more than ever Than ever... #

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SINGS SOFTLY: # Look in your eye

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# And then I fall apart I need you more... #

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Mitch Martin?

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Yeah.

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Nicole!

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My God!

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This is crazy! I-I can't believe it's you!

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Oh! Oh...God!

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What are you doing here? I was invited.

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Yeah... Er, the last time that I had heard,

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you had, er, moved to,

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what do you call it? Denver.

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Ah, the Sunshine State. Unb...

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Denver! Gorgeous! Gorgeous!

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Wh...

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Are you OK? No.

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No, I'm, er... Or, yeah. I just, er...

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I feel a little...(fucked up.)

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Yeah. Marissa told me about your girlfriend. I'm very sorry.

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The thing about that one is that it's not just that. Mm-hm.

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It's a combination of things.

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Er, we had a dog, we had a great place.

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But all just... HE WHISTLES

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Just... Mm-hm.

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You know what? You should have some of this.

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What's in this one? Coffee.

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Ow! Shit! Jesus!

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I... Ow! I am so sorry!

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Don't touch. Mitch, really. I can fix it.

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THEY ARGUE

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What are you doing to this poor girl? Stop it. I got it.

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I got it. No. Inappropriate.

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Sweetie, there's a bathroom... Yes.

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Mitch, honey. Hon. Yeah?

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Why don't you get some air? No! Wait a second.

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Yeah? Put in a good word for me.

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Yeah. OK.

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# Yodel-lay

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# Yodel-lay, yodel-lay-hee-hoo

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# Sparkling

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# Clear and lovely

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# You're my

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# Lady. #

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You're the lady, Marissa! Marissa, you're the lady.

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Let's say...

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Can't hear you! ..glad and...

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Excuse me. I'd like to say I'm really glad and proud to be here tonight.

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I'm glad Frank's dad made it out. That's awesome.

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I haven't seen him in eight years. Congratulations. I love you, Dad!

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True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love,

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and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego

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and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom,

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blindfolded, like a goddamn magic show,

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ready to double-team your girlfriend, and it stops... It stops right there!

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I think what my friend is trying to say is that true love is blind.

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Let's raise our glasses.

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Salut. Health and happiness. Cheers, everybody.

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I love you so much, Frankie. I love you!

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I'm not a talker. I'm not a talker! I love you, man! Congratulations.

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This is practically on campus! It's sick!

0:11:590:12:02

This is great! How'd you land this place?

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It was pretty easy, actually.

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A professor lived here for 30 years, and then...he died. That's awesome!

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That's awesome. Come on.

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Hey, er, a little house-warming. To new beginnings!

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Thanks.

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Er, actually,

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I gave this to you for your wedding.

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This model? Er, no.

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This exact one. Yeah.

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I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed. I'm sorry.

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It's OK. I hope you like it.

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I love it. Thank you.

0:12:410:12:43

This place is unbelievable. You like it?

0:12:430:12:46

I don't know why you're still depressed.

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It's the best thing that's happened to us. Us?

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Yeah, us. Do not get selfish on me. Stay with me.

0:12:520:12:55

You put as bar in over there. Right?

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You could put a hot tub almost anywhere.

0:12:580:13:00

Max, can you earmuff it for me?

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We are going to get so much ass. I'm talking, like, crazy boy-band ass.

0:13:040:13:08

That sounds like fun, but I need time to get my life back together.

0:13:080:13:13

What we need to do is throw a big kick-ass party. Absolutely. Break it in. Meet the neighbours.

0:13:130:13:19

Come on. Know what I'm talking about? Ow. Stop it. Break it in.

0:13:190:13:23

The real-estate guy was adamant...

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I don't think you realise what a huge opportunity this is for you.

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Girls love guys in your situation. Uh-huh.

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What situation? Mitch, you're on the rebound.

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You're an injured fawn who's being re-released back into the wild.

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BABY CRIES Sorry. Be careful.

0:13:400:13:43

Sorry. Don't say it to me. Say it to the baby.

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OK. I'm sorry. It's OK. It's OK.

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Please... I think we should go tropical.

0:13:490:13:52

Uh-huh. Sand from wall-to-wall. I know a great sand guy...

0:13:520:13:55

Sand, in here?! Foam! Whatever! ..You understand what I'm talking about?

0:13:550:14:00

Absolutely. Good. I just need to run it by Marissa.

0:14:000:14:04

I'm messing with you guys! Not funny.

0:14:050:14:09

It's a joke. Now the baby's upset.

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# And here I go again on my own

0:14:120:14:16

# Going down the only road I've ever known... #

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Hey!

0:14:220:14:24

# Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone... #

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HEY! Oh, hey, honey!

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I've brought you an iced tea! Oh, no, thanks. I got a fresh beer.

0:14:290:14:33

Can you turn that off for a second?!

0:14:330:14:36

Wow. That's really...loud.

0:14:380:14:42

Yeah, thanks. I took the restrictor plate off.

0:14:420:14:45

Give the red dragon a little more juice. Keep that on the down low.

0:14:450:14:49

This is not exactly street-legal. Hey, Mike!

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Right. So, what's up?

0:14:520:14:54

I was hoping we might get to those thank-you notes tomorrow night.

0:14:540:14:58

Honey, I got Mitch's thing tomorrow night.

0:14:580:15:01

Oh, that's right! I totally forgot.

0:15:010:15:04

I can skip it. Oh...no. No!

0:15:040:15:08

Don't be silly. I mean, I wouldn't want you changing your whole...

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life just for me! Er...

0:15:120:15:15

I'll give Lara a call. We'll plan a girl's night.

0:15:150:15:18

Thanks. You're the best.

0:15:180:15:21

Just as long as you promise to take it easy.

0:15:210:15:24

What do you mean? You know exactly what I mean.

0:15:240:15:27

You've come a long way since Frank The Tank. We don't want him back!

0:15:270:15:31

Honey, Frank The Tank is not coming back.

0:15:310:15:34

That part of me is over.

0:15:340:15:36

It's water under the bridge. I promise.

0:15:360:15:39

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

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CHEERING AND LAUGHING

0:15:480:15:51

It's incredible. How did you do this? With all the people and the speakers!

0:15:520:15:57

I thought we were having a small get-together.

0:15:570:16:00

This IS a small get-together. That's why you've got the house, brother.

0:16:000:16:04

You're having fun, right? I'm having a great time! Honestly?

0:16:040:16:08

Great time! Good. What else have you got planned,

0:16:080:16:11

like, a student band or something?

0:16:110:16:13

Yeah. That's it. I've got a student alt-rock band coming on stage next.

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I'm worth $3? million that the government knows about.

0:16:170:16:21

I got more electronics than a Kiss concert.

0:16:210:16:24

You think I'd roll out the red carpet for a fucking marching band?

0:16:240:16:28

Make sure you can see the stage.

0:16:280:16:31

Excuse me. Pardon me.

0:16:310:16:33

I just want to get through there... if you don't mind. Thank you.

0:16:330:16:38

This is the guy! This is his house! What's up, man!

0:16:380:16:41

No! That's my friend Mitch! You're mistaking... Mitch owns the house.

0:16:410:16:45

Oh, OK. Yeah. Anyway, you need to hit this.

0:16:450:16:48

Yeah! I appreciate it, but I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight.

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Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. But you guys have a great time.

0:16:530:16:57

A big day?! Doing what?

0:16:570:16:59

Well, actually, a pretty nice little Saturday.

0:16:590:17:02

We're going to go to Home Depot,

0:17:020:17:05

buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring.

0:17:050:17:08

Maybe Bed, Bath And Beyond. I don't know if we'll have time...

0:17:080:17:11

ALL LAUGH

0:17:110:17:14

You know what, give me that thing! I'll do one.

0:17:140:17:18

He's gonna do one!

0:17:180:17:20

Oh! That's a talented man right here!

0:17:230:17:27

Whoo! That's what I'm talking about!

0:17:290:17:32

Fill her up again!

0:17:320:17:35

So good! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!

0:17:350:17:39

Thanks, guys. This'll be happening here all year.

0:17:390:17:43

Don't burn yourselves out tonight. I want to thank you for coming

0:17:430:17:46

to the official Mitch Martin Freedom Festival.

0:17:460:17:50

For those who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful,

0:17:520:17:57

very disease-free gentleman standing by the mini-bar.

0:17:570:17:59

Thank you.

0:18:010:18:02

Now, courtesy of Speaker City,

0:18:020:18:05

which are slashing prices on everything

0:18:050:18:08

from beepers to DVD players,

0:18:080:18:10

give a warm Harrison University welcome

0:18:100:18:13

to my pal, and your favourite,

0:18:130:18:16

Mr Snoop Dogg!

0:18:160:18:18

# Yeah, yeah

0:18:220:18:24

# A-huh-huh

0:18:240:18:26

# You know what?

0:18:260:18:27

# I'm thinking of a master plan

0:18:270:18:29

# Cos ain't nothing but sweat inside my hand

0:18:290:18:32

# So I dig into my pockets

0:18:320:18:33

# All my money is spent

0:18:330:18:34

# So I dig deeper but still coming up with lint

0:18:340:18:37

# So I start my mission Leave my residence

0:18:370:18:39

# I'm thinking, How can I get some dead presidents? #

0:18:390:18:41

THEY ALL CHEER

0:18:410:18:44

Whoo! Whoo!

0:18:460:18:49

THEY CHANT: Frank The Tank! Frank The Tank!

0:18:520:18:56

Whoo!

0:18:570:18:59

You know it! You know it!

0:18:590:19:02

Whoo!

0:19:020:19:04

ALL CHEER WILDLY

0:19:040:19:07

# A pen and a paper a stereo, a tape

0:19:070:19:09

# Of me and Warren G And a big fat plate of chicken wings

0:19:090:19:13

# Cos that's my favourite thing... #

0:19:130:19:14

Hey, you're that guy! What?

0:19:140:19:16

Mitch-A-Palooza from the poster. Oh, yeah. That's me.

0:19:160:19:20

This party is great. Nice work!

0:19:200:19:22

Well, my friends, they put it on for me.

0:19:220:19:25

They're kind of re-releasing me into the wild.

0:19:250:19:28

What?! What are you talking about? Nothing. Sorry.

0:19:280:19:32

# Time to have some fame

0:19:320:19:34

# What you need is some game

0:19:340:19:36

# Say what? Say what?

0:19:360:19:37

# To get your paper made

0:19:370:19:39

# Say what? Say what? Oh, babe

0:19:390:19:40

# Yeah, yeah

0:19:400:19:42

# In the world of paper, paper Check me out, y'all

0:19:420:19:44

# Did somebody say make money, money,

0:19:440:19:46

# Make money, money, money

0:19:460:19:47

# Make money, money, make money, money, money

0:19:470:19:49

# Say make money, make money, money, money

0:19:490:19:52

# Make money, money, make money, money, money... #

0:19:520:19:54

Take money, money... We're going streaking! Yeah!

0:19:540:19:58

CROWD JEERS

0:20:010:20:02

I'm sorry... Sorry.

0:20:030:20:05

We're going streaking through the quad and into the gymnasium.

0:20:050:20:10

Come on, everybody! Come on, Snoop!

0:20:100:20:13

Snoop-a-loop! Snoop-a...

0:20:130:20:16

No! It's cool! It's cool! I'm cool! Bring your green hat.

0:20:160:20:19

Let's go. Come on, everybody. We're going! Here we go.

0:20:190:20:23

Man! Man! Man, put the music back on.

0:20:230:20:26

Let's get the party back! THEY CHEER

0:20:260:20:29

Oh, tell her! Tell her! Marissa, I totally forgot!

0:20:290:20:33

It's a little belated, but we got you the perfect wedding present.

0:20:330:20:37

I told you, you don't have to get me anything.

0:20:370:20:40

Our friend Ashley had this guy come over and teach a blow-job class.

0:20:400:20:45

Oh! It was incredible.

0:20:450:20:46

Yeah. A class? He's really good so we had to book him way in advance.

0:20:460:20:50

Why should I go to a class? Bernard should go to a class. I swear, the man is orally challenged.

0:20:500:20:55

Wait a second. Is that guy...?

0:20:550:20:57

Whoo! Whoo! Oh...my God!

0:20:570:21:01

Wh...? That's disgusting!

0:21:010:21:04

Why am I looking at that?!

0:21:040:21:07

Wait. Why are you slowing down? Just drive!

0:21:070:21:11

Whoo!

0:21:110:21:13

Frank?! No way!

0:21:130:21:17

Frank! Hey, honey! Hey!

0:21:180:21:22

What the hell are you doing?! We're streaking.

0:21:220:21:26

We're going up through the quad to the gymnasium.

0:21:260:21:29

Who's streaking? There's...

0:21:290:21:32

There's more coming. Frank, get in the car!

0:21:320:21:36

Everybody's doing it. Now! OK.

0:21:360:21:39

Whoa! Scoot over.

0:21:440:21:47

OK. OK.

0:21:470:21:49

Ah! Hey! Hey, ladies. Hey.

0:21:490:21:53

Hey, Frank! Hey. Looks like it's a little cold out there!

0:21:530:21:58

Please, guys!

0:21:590:22:02

Honey, do you think KFC's still open?

0:22:020:22:04

THEY GIGGLE

0:22:040:22:06

ALARM CLOCK BUZZES

0:22:120:22:15

Oh! Oh, shit!

0:22:190:22:22

Oh...

0:22:240:22:25

Good morning.

0:22:250:22:27

Now that was a party. Mmm.

0:22:280:22:32

Since when are you so shy?

0:22:330:22:35

No, I'm not. I just, er...

0:22:350:22:38

Did I snore last night? Sometimes I snore when I'm drunk.

0:22:380:22:42

I-I don't remember. I-I don't think so.

0:22:420:22:46

Erm, listen, about last night... I-I...

0:22:470:22:51

I just got out of a very serious

0:22:510:22:54

and traumatic relationship and I...

0:22:540:22:57

I'm kind of in a weird place right now.

0:22:570:23:01

What? Relax, Rich, it's not a big deal.

0:23:010:23:04

Mitch...with an M.

0:23:050:23:08

Right. Erm, look...

0:23:080:23:11

Whatever. We were just having a little fun.

0:23:110:23:14

You have nothing to worry about.

0:23:140:23:16

N-No. Yeah, you're right. I-I'm OK with it.

0:23:160:23:19

I just... Yeah! It's casual.

0:23:190:23:22

I gotta go to class, so...

0:23:220:23:24

So, how do we do this? Shall I...? Do I?

0:23:240:23:27

Do you want to leave me your number or...? You don't even have to worry.

0:23:270:23:31

OK.

0:23:310:23:33

See you around.

0:23:360:23:38

Bye.

0:23:400:23:43

I love you.

0:23:430:23:45

"At Speaker City, we've slashed prices on everything."

0:23:450:23:49

Come on. "Our staff will educate you

0:23:490:23:52

"on a wide selection of home-theatre equipment and accessories."

0:23:520:23:55

"Show us a competitor's price.

0:23:550:23:58

"We'll beat it, or I'll give you the keys to the store."

0:23:580:24:01

HE MUMBLES "The only thing that sounds better than our speakers

0:24:010:24:05

are our prices." Prices!

0:24:050:24:08

What do you think? Honestly? Shoot me straight.

0:24:080:24:11

Really good. You look great.

0:24:110:24:13

Really? Yeah. Yeah.

0:24:130:24:16

It kinda went a little bit just... It got crazy last night.

0:24:160:24:20

Yeah. I mean, I still haven't heard from Frank.

0:24:200:24:23

I don't know where he... Hello!

0:24:230:24:27

Yeah. Come on in. Jesus!

0:24:270:24:29

Is this one of your guys? Your fire hazard's over here.

0:24:290:24:33

What are you doing, man?

0:24:330:24:36

Wow! Cheese! Is that you?

0:24:370:24:42

Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.

0:24:420:24:46

(Who is this?) Beanie, you remember Cheese - Rodney's kid brother?

0:24:460:24:50

Actually, my name isn't Cheese. It's Gordon Pritchard. Oh, yeah!

0:24:500:24:54

Ch-ee-se! Yeah!

0:24:540:24:57

Didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time? I got out.

0:24:570:25:00

Cool, man. I'm glad you did.

0:25:000:25:02

You fellas have a good time last night?

0:25:040:25:07

There might be some whippets around if you want 'em!

0:25:070:25:11

No, thanks. I'm working. Working what? Campus patrol?!

0:25:110:25:15

Hmm. Try again. Are you a Jehovah's Witness?

0:25:150:25:18

I'm the dean! Dean Pritchard.

0:25:180:25:21

Yeah. And as of this morning, this house has been re-zoned.

0:25:210:25:25

Yeah. It is now exclusively for campus use only.

0:25:250:25:29

You can't just do that! I've already paid the first and last month's rent.

0:25:290:25:34

Take a look at that. You have a week to vacate the premises.

0:25:340:25:38

Thank you for your co-operation. Great.

0:25:380:25:41

Can I ask you a question? Absolutely not.

0:25:410:25:43

It's been good seeing you guys. It looks like you're doing great.

0:25:430:25:47

Frank, this is a safe place,

0:25:570:26:00

a place where we can feel free sharing our feelings.

0:26:000:26:04

Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding.

0:26:040:26:08

We can say anything here. Anything?

0:26:080:26:11

It's OK, honey. That's why we came.

0:26:120:26:16

Well, er...

0:26:180:26:21

I guess, deep down, I'm feeling a little confused.

0:26:210:26:24

I mean...

0:26:240:26:27

you get married and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy!

0:26:270:26:31

I don't feel different.

0:26:310:26:33

I mean, take yesterday, for example.

0:26:330:26:35

We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner...which was lovely,

0:26:350:26:39

and I happened to look over at a certain point during the meal

0:26:390:26:43

and see a waitress taking an order, and...

0:26:430:26:46

And I found myself wondering, er,

0:26:460:26:49

what colour her underpants might be.

0:26:490:26:52

Her panties. Er...

0:26:520:26:55

Odds are they're probably basic white cotton underpants.

0:26:560:27:01

But I started thinking, "Maybe... Maybe they're silk panties.

0:27:010:27:05

"Maybe it's... Maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's, er...

0:27:050:27:09

"Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about."

0:27:090:27:13

And, er, I started feeling... Huh!

0:27:130:27:16

What? I thought we were in the trust tree...in the nest. Are we not?!

0:27:160:27:21

We are. OK. We are. It's OK. Mm.

0:27:210:27:23

Mm-hm. It's OK. It's OK. Please, continue.

0:27:230:27:27

I-I don't know where I was going with that. I...

0:27:270:27:31

What I'm trying to say is that, now that I'm married,

0:27:320:27:36

I'm definitely feeling a little freaked out

0:27:360:27:39

about the fact that I'm gonna have sex with only one person...

0:27:390:27:43

..for the rest of my life.

0:27:440:27:47

Walsh tells me your San Diego trip was a blast.

0:27:480:27:51

Oh, yeah! How was Hooters?

0:27:510:27:54

I actually didn't go to Hooters. Oh, yeah! Right.

0:27:540:27:57

Skittles? No, thanks.

0:27:570:28:00

Listen, I got a call from Annetti.

0:28:000:28:03

He tells me that your Sunshine Square proposal is totally fucked.

0:28:030:28:07

What's wrong with it? For one thing, it violates the zoning restrictions

0:28:070:28:11

set forth in the National Historical Preservation Act of 1966,

0:28:110:28:15

most notably, clause four.

0:28:150:28:18

Shall I continue? I'm familiar with that idea...

0:28:180:28:21

Honey! Hi, Dad! Am I interrupting? No!

0:28:210:28:24

Hi. Hi.

0:28:240:28:26

I don't think you've met my daughter. Darcie, Mitch Martin.

0:28:260:28:29

Hi. Nice to meet you, Mitch. Hi. Nice to meet you.

0:28:290:28:33

How was the slumber party? Great. You know, movies and popcorn.

0:28:330:28:38

Mmn. She's an angel.

0:28:380:28:41

It makes me sound old, but I can't believe how fast she's growing up!

0:28:410:28:45

Dad! Stop! Sorry, honey, but it's true. To think that in seven months,

0:28:450:28:50

you'll be graduating from high school! Dad!

0:28:500:28:53

You OK?

0:28:530:28:55

I thought you said high school. Yeah.

0:28:560:28:59

Shocking, isn't it? Yes, it is.

0:28:590:29:03

Give me a break! Hey, Mitch!

0:29:120:29:15

Hey, man. Hey.

0:29:180:29:20

Did you have a good day? Not too bad. Yeah.

0:29:200:29:23

What's going on? Oh, I just thought maybe

0:29:240:29:27

I could crash here tonight, if that's all right.

0:29:270:29:30

Marissa's going through some personal stuff and... Mm-hm.

0:29:300:29:34

Personal stuff like you running through the neighbourhood drunk and naked?

0:29:340:29:39

That...

0:29:390:29:41

and some other stuff. Yeah.

0:29:410:29:44

No problem. OK. Make yourself at home. Thanks.

0:29:440:29:47

Gentlemen, we're discussing a brand-new way to look at a fraternity.

0:29:470:29:51

You need to forget about all the normal rules

0:29:510:29:54

that apply to college and society.

0:29:540:29:56

This is a very big idea, my friends.

0:29:560:29:59

We are talking about a non-exclusive egalitarian brotherhood

0:29:590:30:02

where community status and, more importantly, age

0:30:020:30:06

have no bearing whatsoever.

0:30:060:30:09

Yes - the guy who probably won't get in. I go to school here and... OK.

0:30:090:30:14

What sort of association will you have with the actual university?

0:30:140:30:18

Who are these people? I don't know!

0:30:180:30:20

Legally speaking, there'll be a loose affiliation,

0:30:200:30:23

but we will give nothing back to the academic community,

0:30:230:30:27

as well as provide no public service of any kind.

0:30:270:30:30

Beanie, what's going on here? Guys,

0:30:300:30:33

this is a very special occasion.

0:30:330:30:35

The Godfather himself is kind enough

0:30:350:30:37

to grace us with his presence. ALL: Yeah!

0:30:370:30:40

This is his house! He lives here! He speaks 20 feet away!

0:30:400:30:45

That's for you. We need to talk. Kitchen.

0:30:450:30:49

Sit good for me. I want to talk to Uncle Mitch.

0:30:500:30:53

There you go.

0:30:530:30:55

How long have these people been here? All day.

0:30:550:30:58

That party we had has given us all kinds of street cred. What?!

0:30:580:31:02

Mitch, this is called rush. We're officially starting a fraternity.

0:31:020:31:06

I like it! It's genius. You've got to be kidding!

0:31:060:31:10

This house is zoned specifically for social services and student housing.

0:31:100:31:14

A fraternity solves both. Right? Mmn-hmn.

0:31:140:31:17

But this is my house! I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old.

0:31:170:31:21

We're not at college. I understand! It makes no sense!

0:31:210:31:24

You're focused on all the wrong sort of details.

0:31:240:31:28

Did you have a good time last night? I had an awesome time!

0:31:280:31:31

I know that you had an awesome time. I think the entire town knows.

0:31:310:31:36

I'm trying to ask Mitch if he had an awesome time.

0:31:360:31:39

I had a good time. Wouldn't you want those good times to keep going?

0:31:390:31:43

God! More good... I mean...

0:31:430:31:45

I don't understand why it's so hard for you to admit that you want this.

0:31:450:31:49

40 guys out there want this.

0:31:490:31:52

Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm. I know you guys are trying to help,

0:31:520:31:56

but the truth of the matter is,

0:31:560:31:58

I've had a hell of a day, an even worse month,

0:31:580:32:01

and the fact is I got 40 strangers out in my living room,

0:32:010:32:05

and all I want to do is get some fucking sleep!

0:32:050:32:08

I'm sorry, but we're not starting a fraternity.

0:32:080:32:11

I don't know why you've got to do it in front of my kid, with the effing.

0:32:110:32:15

All you have to do is say earmuffs. Earmuffs. You can say fuck! Shit!

0:32:150:32:20

Cock! Balls! I'm just proving a point. You don't have to celebrate it. I'm sorry.

0:32:200:32:25

You let down Frank. You let down me. You let down Max, most importantly.

0:32:250:32:29

I'm having a hard time figuring out why I take time out of my schedule

0:32:290:32:33

to help you get over... Earmuffs. ..that whore you dated.

0:32:330:32:36

I'm going to go out, see the others. Uncle Mitch is sorry.

0:32:360:32:40

Say yes. Yes.

0:32:420:32:45

TYRES SCREECH

0:32:470:32:50

All right, here's the deal. Listen up! Altogether, we pick 14 pledges.

0:32:510:32:56

Wait, who's this guy?! Oh, that's Blue.

0:32:560:32:59

Yeah. He's an old navy vet who hangs around my store. He's legit.

0:32:590:33:03

He looks like he's 100 years old. He wants to pledge?! Are you kidding me?

0:33:030:33:07

The old man river won't shut up about it. Show time!

0:33:070:33:11

MUSIC: "Master Of Puppets" by Metallica

0:33:120:33:16

Shit!

0:33:220:33:24

Don't make this any harder on yourself!

0:33:250:33:29

What's going on? You tell anyone about this, I'll fucking kill you.

0:33:400:33:45

Oh! We'll have him back by tonight. OK, sweetheart?

0:33:450:33:48

Let's go!

0:33:480:33:50

Let's go. Nice and easy. There we go.

0:34:000:34:03

Congratulations, gentleman. You should be very proud of yourselves.

0:34:120:34:16

Each and every one of you has been hand-picked

0:34:160:34:19

to represent our inaugural pledge class.

0:34:190:34:23

Over the next 21 days,

0:34:230:34:26

you're all going to experience intense mental

0:34:260:34:29

and physical strain.

0:34:290:34:32

Frank, just pace yourself. Copy that.

0:34:340:34:37

I got a little overexcited. Sorry.

0:34:370:34:40

At this point, you may be asking yourself,

0:34:400:34:44

"Why am I holding this 30lb cinder block in my hands?"

0:34:440:34:48

You might also ask yourself,

0:34:490:34:52

"Why does this cinder block

0:34:520:34:56

"have a long piece of string tied to it?"

0:34:560:35:00

And finally...

0:35:010:35:04

Why is the other end of this string tied securely

0:35:050:35:09

to your penis?

0:35:090:35:11

And the answer, ladies, is trust.

0:35:130:35:16

This is your first test.

0:35:170:35:20

Spanish, do you trust that we've provided you with enough slack

0:35:200:35:25

so your block will land safely on the lawn? Sir, yes, sir!

0:35:250:35:28

Blue... Yes, sir? Do you trust that I do not want to see you die here?

0:35:280:35:33

Sir, yes, sir! Blue, you're my boy! Thank you, sir.

0:35:330:35:37

About face.

0:35:390:35:41

Step to the edge!

0:35:440:35:46

Pledges, prepare for release!

0:35:490:35:52

One! Two!

0:35:540:35:57

Three! Release!

0:35:570:36:00

HE SCREAMS

0:36:080:36:10

It wasn't meant to happen like that!

0:36:100:36:13

Walk it off, big guy.

0:36:130:36:15

THEY CHANT # One, two, three, four

0:36:150:36:17

# One, two, three, four

0:36:170:36:19

# I've been laid more times than God

0:36:190:36:21

# Frat sex is a creme broulade

0:36:210:36:24

# One, two, three, four

0:36:240:36:28

# I don't know, but it's been said

0:36:280:36:30

# One more laugh and I'll be dead... #

0:36:300:36:32

Faster! CHANTING CONTINUES

0:36:320:36:35

Jesus! Who are these people?!

0:36:350:36:38

Get security. We have an illegal off-road vehicle

0:36:410:36:44

operating without a permit.

0:36:440:36:46

'They've already been called, sir.' Er, call them again.

0:36:460:36:51

You know, it's been two weeks.

0:36:550:36:57

How are these guys still a fraternity?

0:36:570:37:00

They're not, sir. They've just been approved for temporary status.

0:37:000:37:04

Half these guys don't even go to the school! One guy, he's like 90!

0:37:040:37:08

That doesn't matter. They found a loophole.

0:37:080:37:11

A loophole? Yes. Well, it's interesting, sir.

0:37:110:37:14

As stupid as they appear, they're actually very good at paperwork!

0:37:140:37:18

It's quite an anomaly! Is that funny?

0:37:180:37:21

Are you a comic? Is that what you do now?

0:37:210:37:24

This is me leaving. This is me leaving.

0:37:260:37:29

There he is! What's going on, brother?

0:37:400:37:44

Nothing. I'm just making some copies.

0:37:440:37:46

Mm-hm? See you later.

0:37:460:37:49

Hey, Mitch, hang on a second.

0:37:490:37:52

I heard you guys are starting up a fraternity. Who told you that?!

0:37:520:37:55

Nobody. Is it true? I don't know what you're talking about.

0:37:550:37:59

Right(!) Well, it sounds cool, man. I want in.

0:37:590:38:03

Listen to me, there is no fraternity!

0:38:030:38:07

I don't know what you're talking about. You listen!

0:38:070:38:10

I need this, OK? My wife, my job, my kids...

0:38:100:38:14

Every day is exactly the same.

0:38:140:38:16

Oh, I go golfing on Sundays, but I hate golf!

0:38:160:38:19

Don't blackball me, Mitch, please!

0:38:190:38:22

I'm not blackballing you. We work together, Walsh,

0:38:220:38:25

and I don't want to mix work with whatever it is I do at home.

0:38:250:38:29

And trust me, you're not missing anything, anyways. Really?

0:38:290:38:33

Heard you hooked up with Goldberg's daughter.

0:38:330:38:36

Oh! Sorry. Sorry.

0:38:360:38:38

And it's untrue.

0:38:380:38:41

Hey, Mitch, all I'm saying is think about it, OK? Think about it!

0:38:450:38:50

Who cares if you work with the guy? I do!

0:38:500:38:53

I have a career to worry about. You need to start embracing this.

0:38:530:38:56

I am. I don't think you appreciate everything I've done for you.

0:38:560:39:00

For me? Do you think I like avoiding my wife and kids

0:39:000:39:04

to hang out with 19-year-old girls? I do. I'm doing this for you.

0:39:040:39:08

Hello!

0:39:080:39:10

Hey, Nicole! How's it going? Hi! Who's this?

0:39:100:39:13

This is my daughter Amanda. Hi!

0:39:130:39:15

Hi, Amanda. You remember Nicole, right?

0:39:150:39:18

We did a little chicken dancing at the wedding.

0:39:180:39:21

How you been? Fine, thanks. Good...

0:39:210:39:24

I wanted to apologise to you. I hope I didn't embarrass you.

0:39:240:39:28

It's OK. You just embarrassed yourself. Yes!

0:39:280:39:31

I brought you a house-warming gift. Wow! That is really nice.

0:39:310:39:35

It's just a CD holder for your desk or whatever...

0:39:350:39:39

Yeah. That thing's a piece of crap. Awful.

0:39:390:39:41

What? I stopped selling it. Please... Hey, Beanie...

0:39:410:39:45

A lot of complaints. Great. Nice gesture. It's cool.

0:39:450:39:49

Hey, Godfather! What's up?!

0:39:490:39:51

Yo! You the man!

0:39:510:39:54

Did that guy call you the Godfather?

0:39:540:39:57

He must be joking or something... Where are you guys living?

0:39:570:40:00

We're staying with my dad for a while.

0:40:000:40:03

The move's been a little rough on Amanda. So...

0:40:030:40:06

My son Max turns six on Sunday. We're having a party for him,

0:40:060:40:10

you know, petting zoo, clowns, stuff like that.

0:40:100:40:13

You guys are welcome. You should definitely come! OK!

0:40:130:40:17

Hey, what do you guys like better - nurse or cheerleader?

0:40:170:40:20

Oh, hi, Nicole. Hi, Frank.

0:40:220:40:25

That's a nice doll you have there.

0:40:250:40:27

Yeah, thanks. She's OK.

0:40:270:40:30

Did you have fun at the wedding? Yeah, it was fun.

0:40:310:40:34

I'm just staying here for right now.

0:40:360:40:39

We'll see you Sunday, then? Sunday. Great.

0:40:390:40:43

OK. Bye. Say bye. Bye.

0:40:430:40:45

Bye.

0:40:450:40:46

# Ain't no sunshine when she's gone... #

0:40:460:40:50

'Hi! You've reached Marissa... And Frank! Leave us a message.' BEEP!

0:40:530:40:58

Hey, honey. It's me. Er, listen, just was, er, calling to check in.

0:40:580:41:03

I've been kind of busy lately, a lot of paperwork, stuff like that.

0:41:030:41:07

Damn! 'If you are satisfied, press one.

0:41:070:41:09

'To re-record, press two.'

0:41:090:41:12

Hey, Marissa. It's me.

0:41:120:41:14

I'm probably going to be in the neighbourhood a little later.

0:41:140:41:18

I didn't know if you want to get together for frozen yoghurt,

0:41:180:41:22

or maybe a whole meal of food... if that would be agreeable. Stupid!

0:41:220:41:26

'If you are satisfied, press one. To re-record, press two.'

0:41:260:41:30

Hey, Marissa. It's Frank Ricard. Er...

0:41:310:41:35

OK, ladies, the secret to a good BJ is focus.

0:41:350:41:40

I don't care if it's your husband of ten years

0:41:400:41:43

or some hot sailor you met at TGI Fridays a couple of months ago...

0:41:430:41:47

who never did call me back.

0:41:470:41:48

But that's neither here nor there.

0:41:480:41:51

Grab your vegetables. THEY GIGGLE

0:41:510:41:55

MUSIC: "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran

0:41:570:42:00

Who's hungry? Who's hungry?

0:42:000:42:02

Is this guy for real?

0:42:020:42:05

He's fine. He's good. He's the best there is.

0:42:050:42:07

Thumbs are down. Wrists are flexed.

0:42:070:42:10

We're going to position ourselves for insertion.

0:42:100:42:13

Ready? Do it.

0:42:150:42:18

Mind the stepchildren.

0:42:200:42:22

Mind the stepchildren. Very good.

0:42:220:42:25

Marissa. Come on. That's it.

0:42:410:42:43

Mmm... Mmm...

0:42:430:42:46

That's it. I like what I see. Don't be afraid to arch...

0:42:460:42:51

INAUDIBLE

0:42:510:42:52

Marissa, come on. That's it.

0:42:520:42:55

# And I'm hungry like the wolf. #

0:42:550:42:58

Everybody can learn from Marissa.

0:42:580:43:00

I'm gonna take five. Continue.

0:43:000:43:03

THEY GIGGLE

0:43:030:43:05

Nice work, Marissa. Way to give 110%!

0:43:050:43:10

You know, when I get back there

0:43:100:43:12

I'm gonna show you something I call crouching tiger, hidden penis.

0:43:120:43:16

Did you ever see that movie? I really like it

0:43:160:43:19

cos of the flying and the magic!

0:43:190:43:22

You bastard!

0:43:220:43:24

Oh! Someone just made a bad mistake!

0:43:240:43:27

Aagh!

0:43:270:43:29

Aaaaargh!

0:43:290:43:33

Jesus Christ, Frank. What the hell are you doing here?

0:43:350:43:39

You know this person? I am so sorry. Are you hurt?

0:43:390:43:43

Yes, I'm hurt. Oh...

0:43:430:43:45

You've outdone yourself, once again. It's nice, right?

0:43:560:43:59

Spanish, what are you doing?! Getting some water. It's crazy hot.

0:43:590:44:04

Put your head back on. Are you nuts? It can be traumatic for the kids.

0:44:040:44:07

I'm sorry. Don't sorry me. And shake the tail when you walk!

0:44:070:44:12

Take it easy! You don't see me breaking the fourth wall.

0:44:120:44:15

Hey, guys! Hey! Nice costume.

0:44:150:44:18

Thanks. This is a great party.

0:44:180:44:20

When'd you get here? A minute ago.

0:44:200:44:23

This is my boyfriend Mark. This is Mitch and Beanie.

0:44:230:44:27

How's it hanging, boys? Pleasure to meet you...

0:44:270:44:30

So, somebody told me you guys are in a fraternity.

0:44:300:44:34

Is that right? THEY LAUGH

0:44:340:44:36

Is that true? Er, not really.

0:44:360:44:38

I mean, no. It's more like a social club.

0:44:380:44:42

We just watch football and hang out.

0:44:420:44:44

Hang out and spank each other, I bet, huh?!

0:44:440:44:47

We don't take it too seriously.

0:44:470:44:49

Blue, there's no ice in my lemonade! Sir, sorry, sir!

0:44:490:44:53

You drop down and you give me 10... Now! Yes, sir!

0:44:530:44:57

Let's go! That's Frank.

0:44:570:45:00

I'm gonna go ahead and give you these. That's my work phone.

0:45:000:45:04

Speaker City, I own all six. Hey, Max wants to open up his gifts.

0:45:040:45:08

I thought one would be all right. All right. Come on in here, Max.

0:45:080:45:12

Do you guys mind giving me a minute? We'll talk surround sound later. I'll cut you a deal.

0:45:120:45:17

How you doing, bud? What a day! I guess we can open Uncle Frank's.

0:45:170:45:21

I don't know who's more excited, Frank or Max!

0:45:210:45:24

Rip it up. Go at it! What could it be?

0:45:240:45:27

Could it be a space ship? Yeah! Let's see!

0:45:270:45:31

Yeah!

0:45:310:45:32

What do you think, Max? It's got three speeds.

0:45:320:45:36

Damn it.

0:45:430:45:45

Excuse me, I'll have one of those.

0:45:480:45:51

I'm Mark. What's your name? Tracy.

0:45:520:45:55

Hi. Nice meeting you...Tracy.

0:45:550:45:59

Right on there. There we go.

0:45:590:46:02

OK, you can go back out and play now.

0:46:020:46:05

Come on. There.

0:46:050:46:07

Take your doll. OK.

0:46:070:46:10

I think she likes you. She ignores most people. Well, I feel honoured.

0:46:110:46:15

So, Mark...

0:46:170:46:19

He seems like an interesting guy. He's harmless.

0:46:190:46:23

How long have you two been together? Two years now.

0:46:230:46:26

I told him I had a crush on you in school. I think I got him jealous.

0:46:260:46:30

You had a crush on me? You gotta be kidding!

0:46:300:46:33

I was obsessed with you! I mean, not in a dangerous way.

0:46:330:46:36

I just watched you from a distance.

0:46:360:46:39

How come you never asked me out?

0:46:390:46:41

You were pretty intimidating back then.

0:46:410:46:44

You were always with older guys.

0:46:440:46:47

You had that Whitesnake jean jacket. You smoked Marlboro Reds.

0:46:470:46:50

You were way out of my league. Mm-hm?!

0:46:500:46:53

I still have the Whitesnake jean jacket.

0:46:530:46:57

I'm still pretty intimidated by you!

0:46:570:47:00

You're bad! You're right. I AM bad.

0:47:060:47:10

Oh, Jeez, I'm sorry. I was... I guess we're not knocking, huh?

0:47:120:47:17

Excuse me. I've got to go back to work.

0:47:170:47:19

I'm just returning these band aids.

0:47:190:47:23

What are you gonna do, tell on me?

0:47:230:47:26

You can't, buddy. It's guy code, OK?

0:47:260:47:28

Guys don't tell on other guys. That's, er, something chicks do.

0:47:280:47:33

You're not a chick, are you?

0:47:360:47:38

Phew. All right. Good talk. I'll see you out there.

0:47:400:47:44

Hey there, buddy. Need a friend?

0:47:520:47:56

Yeah, me too...

0:47:570:47:59

Hey...

0:48:010:48:03

Wow!

0:48:110:48:12

She's a beauty, ain't she? Yeah. What kind of gun is this?

0:48:130:48:17

That's a tranquilliser gun.

0:48:170:48:19

If any of these little fuckers decide to freak out on the kids,

0:48:190:48:23

I get to take them down.

0:48:230:48:26

Ain't that right? What?! ..That's what I thought. Shut up.

0:48:260:48:30

Hey-hey! Be careful with that.

0:48:300:48:32

That's the most powerful tranq gun on the market. Huh!

0:48:320:48:35

Got her in Mexico. Cool. It is cool.

0:48:350:48:38

They say it can puncture the skin of a rhino from 100...

0:48:380:48:41

Agh!

0:48:410:48:42

Oh, yes! That's awesome!

0:48:470:48:51

What? You just took one in the jugular, man!

0:48:520:48:56

Ha! Whoa!

0:48:570:49:00

Yes!

0:49:000:49:01

Oh, my God!

0:49:020:49:05

Oh, my God! I did! Is this bad? Is this bad?

0:49:060:49:10

You should pull that out. HIS VOICE WARPS That shit isn't cool.

0:49:100:49:14

IN DISTORTED VOICE: Wait! Wait. Pull what out?

0:49:150:49:19

The dart, man. You got a fucking dart in your neck.

0:49:190:49:22

You're cra... You're crazy, man!

0:49:250:49:28

You're crazy! I like you.

0:49:290:49:33

But you're crazy!

0:49:330:49:35

I feel tired.

0:49:350:49:37

Looks who's coming...

0:49:370:49:40

# Happy birthday to you... #

0:49:430:49:48

ROARS IN DISTORTED VOICE

0:49:480:49:52

ALL SING IN WARPED TONES

0:49:530:49:56

DISTORTED MUMBLING

0:50:000:50:04

Agh!

0:50:070:50:09

DISTORTED SPEECH

0:50:110:50:14

# Hello, darkness, my old friend

0:50:250:50:29

# I've come to talk with you again

0:50:300:50:34

# Because a vision softly creeping

0:50:340:50:38

# Left its seeds while I was sleeping... #

0:50:380:50:42

This is the most beautiful day.

0:50:440:50:46

Yes. It really is.

0:50:470:50:51

# Within the sound

0:50:520:50:55

# Of silence... #

0:50:550:50:58

I've missed you, Frank. I'm so glad you're back.

0:50:580:51:02

ECHOES: I've missed you, too, honey.

0:51:030:51:06

You look gorgeous.

0:51:060:51:08

You're sweet.

0:51:090:51:11

# I turned my collar to the cold and damp... #

0:51:110:51:15

# When my heart... #

0:51:150:51:18

Bleurgh! Eugh! Agh!

0:51:180:51:22

He just French-kissed me! CHILDREN: Eurgh!

0:51:220:51:25

This better work. The board members are beginning

0:51:290:51:32

to ask questions about this "civilian fraternity".

0:51:320:51:35

Don't worry. It'll work. Here she comes.

0:51:350:51:40

Her name is Megan Huang.

0:51:400:51:42

She's the student council president, pre-law, a promising young woman.

0:51:420:51:48

A young woman with a lot to lose.

0:51:480:51:49

Megan, hello. Hi! Have a seat.

0:51:490:51:53

HE CLEARS THROAT I'm sure you know Dean Pritchard.

0:51:570:52:00

Oh, hi... Don't turn around!

0:52:000:52:03

Megan, this little fraternity over on Brooke Street

0:52:050:52:09

has become quite an inconvenience for us, OK?

0:52:090:52:12

And as Student Body president, you approved their temporary status.

0:52:120:52:17

Unfortunately, you alone have the ability to revoke it.

0:52:170:52:20

We're gonna need you to go ahead and do that.

0:52:200:52:23

Why? Everybody loves those guys. They throw the sickest parties.

0:52:230:52:28

I mean, I met my boyfriend at their casino night... Uh-huh. That's great.

0:52:280:52:32

It says here you're applying to Columbia Law School.

0:52:320:52:36

Wow! That's a tough school to get in to.

0:52:360:52:38

You know, Dean Pritchard has some serious connections at Columbia.

0:52:380:52:42

Are you bribing me? Hey...

0:52:420:52:45

Don't make life harder on yourself, Chang. It's Huang.

0:52:470:52:51

Whatever. How's the tennis going?

0:52:520:52:55

I made some minor changes, but overall it's OK.

0:52:550:52:58

It's a pretty standard lease. OK. Great.

0:52:580:53:01

Thanks for taking a look for me.

0:53:010:53:04

This stuff confuses me. Any time.

0:53:040:53:06

So, er... you and Mark are moving in together?

0:53:060:53:10

Yeah. Well, financially it makes sense. So...

0:53:100:53:15

You know, there's something I think you should know, er...

0:53:150:53:20

about Mark.

0:53:200:53:22

What is it? Well...

0:53:220:53:26

Relationships are a lot of work.

0:53:290:53:32

I guess what I'm saying is, er...

0:53:320:53:35

Er, good luck.

0:53:390:53:41

Oh. OK! Well, thank you.

0:53:410:53:44

Yeah. Listen, I-I was thinking that maybe some time we could

0:53:440:53:48

get some dinner or something... Yeah.

0:53:480:53:51

If that's OK. I'd like that.

0:53:510:53:53

Yeah. Of course, leave it to me to wait

0:53:530:53:57

until you've got a boyfriend to finally ask you out.

0:53:570:54:00

Timing was never your thing. No.

0:54:000:54:04

OK! So thank you.

0:54:050:54:08

And, er, call me about dinner. I will.

0:54:090:54:12

Excuse me, sir! We have a situation, sir!

0:54:120:54:15

What are you doing here? I said never at work. But it's an emergency.

0:54:150:54:19

We can only buy KY Jelly in the four-ounce tubes.

0:54:190:54:22

Industrial-sized cans'll take up to three to four business days minimum.

0:54:220:54:27

What's that for? Blue's birthday. We're having a KY wrestling match...

0:54:270:54:30

Can we talk about this later, please?!

0:54:300:54:33

# Louie, Louie... #

0:54:340:54:36

I'm born again, baby! Whoo-hoo!

0:54:360:54:40

# We got it going on... #

0:54:430:54:46

Yeah! Yeah!

0:54:480:54:51

This doesn't seem fair!

0:54:510:54:53

Oh!

0:54:560:54:58

THEY CHEER

0:54:580:55:01

Rip his head off! Rip his head off!

0:55:050:55:08

SOUL MUSIC PLAYS

0:55:080:55:11

THEY GIGGLE

0:55:120:55:14

I like your room. Thanks a lot.

0:55:200:55:23

It's kind of a home away from home for me. All the posters are mine...

0:55:230:55:27

I don't usually like fraternity guys. They're such losers.

0:55:280:55:31

But you're, like, mature.

0:55:310:55:35

Mature? Yeah.

0:55:360:55:38

So, where do you sleep, anyway?

0:55:380:55:41

Usually, I sleep at home. Sometimes I do crash here.

0:55:410:55:45

This is a futon, actually. It pulls out... I didn't realise.

0:55:470:55:51

Can I see it? The futon?

0:55:520:55:56

Yes.

0:55:560:55:58

Wow. Er...

0:56:000:56:02

Amy, I'm sorry.

0:56:030:56:06

I'm married, and I can't do this.

0:56:060:56:08

I don't want this to get weird but...

0:56:080:56:11

Right, I see.

0:56:110:56:14

But leave me your number,

0:56:140:56:16

so if something happens to my wife, I can give you a call.

0:56:160:56:19

I don't think so. OK. That was a bad idea.

0:56:190:56:23

BELL RINGS

0:56:230:56:24

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's main event.

0:56:240:56:29

Yeah!

0:56:310:56:32

In this corner, weighing in at 110lbs

0:56:330:56:37

and pushing 89 years of age,

0:56:370:56:39

the recent recipient of a brand-new plastic hip,

0:56:390:56:43

Joseph Blue Pallaski!

0:56:430:56:45

THEY CHANT: Blue! Blue! Blue!

0:56:450:56:49

And in the opposite corner, with a combined weight of 210lbs,

0:56:490:56:54

hailing from Haydon Dormitory,

0:56:540:56:56

Jennie and Jeanie!

0:56:560:56:59

ALL CHEER

0:56:590:57:02

Fighters, are you ready?

0:57:040:57:07

Hey, Blue, you sure you're OK with this?

0:57:080:57:11

Just ring the fucking bell, you pansy. OK. Let's get it on!

0:57:110:57:16

Come on. Come on, Grandpa! Let's go.

0:57:200:57:24

Let's go, birthday boy.

0:57:240:57:26

What's the matter? Are you scared? Come on. Hello?!

0:57:260:57:31

# I close my eyes

0:57:460:57:50

# Only for a moment

0:57:510:57:53

# And the moment's gone

0:57:530:57:55

# All my dreams

0:57:560:58:00

# Passed before my eyes

0:58:010:58:02

# In curiosity

0:58:020:58:04

# Dust in the wind... #

0:58:060:58:09

We'd better put the KY wrestling on hold for a while.

0:58:090:58:12

Good idea.

0:58:120:58:14

Please don't beat yourself up over this thing. It's not your fault.

0:58:140:58:18

Damn it, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.

0:58:180:58:22

I'm sorry.

0:58:220:58:25

# All we are is dust

0:58:250:58:27

# In the wind

0:58:270:58:32

# Oh...

0:58:320:58:34

# Ho-ho... #

0:58:340:58:38

You're my boy, Blue! (You're my boy!)

0:58:380:58:42

It's been a weird month, huh? Yeah.

0:58:450:58:49

Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you on your birthday.

0:58:510:58:55

My birthday? What do you mean? Last Thursday.

0:58:550:58:57

You forgot your birthday, didn't you? Damn it.

0:58:590:59:02

I'm such an idiot. I...

0:59:020:59:05

What have you been doing? I... Well, I've been keeping busy.

0:59:050:59:09

Well... I, er...

0:59:090:59:12

I...tried to join a new gym.

0:59:120:59:15

That was one thing. Er... Mmm.

0:59:150:59:18

And there's other stuff I can't remember. But...keeping busy.

0:59:180:59:22

You know, I-I've missed you.

0:59:220:59:25

I want you to know that. Mmm.

0:59:250:59:27

Maybe tonight we could get together back at home.

0:59:270:59:31

We could maybe put on a Sisqo CD...

0:59:310:59:34

I don't think that's such a good idea.

0:59:340:59:36

Really? You don't?

0:59:360:59:39

I don't know. Maybe we rushed into this, you know?

0:59:390:59:43

I mean, it just doesn't feel right, does it...

0:59:450:59:49

being married?

0:59:490:59:52

What do you mean?

0:59:540:59:56

I think we should get a divorce.

0:59:560:59:59

Like a real divorce?

1:00:011:00:03

Yeah.

1:00:031:00:05

(Gotcha.)

1:00:051:00:07

OK, well, er...

1:00:091:00:11

Huh! I'm sorry. Yeah.

1:00:111:00:14

No, listen, actually, I gotta run.

1:00:141:00:17

But...

1:00:171:00:19

if I don't talk to you, keep on...

1:00:191:00:21

Keep trucking, you know.

1:00:211:00:24

OK. Good stuff.

1:00:261:00:28

Well, what do you think? You know, it's OK.

1:00:391:00:43

Just OK? Yeah.

1:00:431:00:47

I had Mitch look at the lease. He thinks it sounds like a good deal.

1:00:471:00:50

You had Mitch look at the lease?! When?

1:00:501:00:53

Last week. I stopped by his office.

1:00:531:00:56

Oh, God! What?

1:00:561:00:58

I don't know. I'm not so sure about that guy.

1:00:581:01:03

Mitch? Why? He's so sweet.

1:01:031:01:05

Something I saw last week at the birthday party.

1:01:051:01:09

What did you see? I don't want to get in to this, but...

1:01:091:01:13

I walked in on him, and he was harassing one of the caterers.

1:01:131:01:18

A young girl. Really?

1:01:181:01:20

He was being really aggressive and grabbing her. It was disgusting.

1:01:201:01:24

MOBILE PHONE RINGS I didn't want to say anything.

1:01:241:01:28

Hello? 'Hey, Nicole. It's Mitch.' Hi, Mitch.

1:01:281:01:31

I was thinking if you're not busy,

1:01:311:01:33

maybe I'd take you up on that cup of coffee.

1:01:331:01:36

Er, now's not really a good time.

1:01:361:01:39

Look, I'm really sorry about the other day.

1:01:391:01:42

I just want the chance to explain everything.

1:01:421:01:45

I don't think so. I...

1:01:451:01:48

It's, er, it's been kind of a tough day,

1:01:481:01:51

and it would really mean a lot.

1:01:511:01:53

There's a few things that I wanted to clear up,

1:01:561:01:59

because I get the feeling you have an entirely distorted view of who I am.

1:01:591:02:03

Really? Yeah. What gave you that idea?

1:02:031:02:06

OK! One pecan pie and two coffees. Thank you.

1:02:061:02:09

And don't worry, for the Godfather, it's always on the house.

1:02:091:02:13

Not here. I know who you are. I am Avie.

1:02:131:02:16

I'm a big supporter. Thank you.

1:02:161:02:18

You are beautiful. Beautiful. No offence, though, he is the king.

1:02:181:02:22

You are taking coffee and pie with a legend. That's very kind,

1:02:221:02:26

but I insist, I'll pay. Your money - it's not good here. OK.

1:02:261:02:29

I look forward to pledging next semester! OK.

1:02:291:02:32

OK, now don't you think this is going a little far?

1:02:321:02:36

I heard one of your pledges died. Is that true?

1:02:361:02:39

Well, yes. But he was old.

1:02:391:02:42

I'm confident that when we get the autopsy back,

1:02:421:02:45

it'll show it was probably of natural causes.

1:02:451:02:48

Look, to be honest, you're really not the person I thought you were.

1:02:481:02:51

But it's OK. It's not a big deal. But I think that I am that person,

1:02:511:02:55

and I feel more like myself now than I have in a really long time.

1:02:551:03:00

So, that's why you harass young women?

1:03:001:03:03

Doing what? The caterer at the birthday party.

1:03:031:03:06

Mark told me about her. Wait! I didn't want to say anything,

1:03:061:03:10

but Mark is the one who was acting inappropriate.

1:03:101:03:14

Mitch, you are unbelievable. It's true! Hey, look who it is.

1:03:141:03:18

Hey, Mitch! Darcie, hey.

1:03:181:03:21

Hi! I meant to call you. I didn't want you to worry about my dad.

1:03:211:03:26

He doesn't know anything, so it's totally cool.

1:03:261:03:29

Her dad?! Yeah.

1:03:291:03:31

Yeah. You know, it's nothing, really.

1:03:311:03:36

They actually work together.

1:03:361:03:38

We gotta run cos we got this prom committee thing.

1:03:381:03:42

I'll see you around. (Sorry.)

1:03:421:03:44

Bye.

1:03:441:03:46

Prom committee thing? That, I actually can explain. I'm sure you can.

1:03:461:03:53

It... I have to go. Nicole, please wait a second.

1:03:531:03:56

No! Really, I have to go.

1:03:561:03:59

Hey! Chicks! Don't worry for her, huh?!

1:04:021:04:07

Love - it's a motherfucker, huh?

1:04:071:04:09

Shit!

1:04:181:04:20

"Dear, Mitch, if you're holding this letter,

1:04:401:04:43

"you already know the house has been boarded up,

1:04:431:04:46

"the windows, the doors, everything.

1:04:461:04:48

"We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112.

1:04:481:04:51

"I love you. Frank."

1:04:511:04:54

Due to these infractions, not only will your house be repossessed,

1:04:541:04:57

but those of you who ARE students will be expelled from the university

1:04:571:05:01

for participating in a non-sanctioned fraternity.

1:05:011:05:05

Please take a moment to allow this to sink in.

1:05:051:05:08

Good.

1:05:111:05:13

Believe me, the actions taken by the student council

1:05:131:05:18

have come as a great shock to me.

1:05:181:05:20

Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do.

1:05:201:05:23

Thank you for your time. Good luck. And God bless America.

1:05:231:05:27

He can't do that.

1:05:321:05:34

This guy's playing hardball.

1:05:341:05:37

I gotta say, I'm impressed by him.

1:05:371:05:40

Well, we're expelled. I'm gonna wind up working at Red Lobster!

1:05:401:05:44

You already work at Red Lobster! Part-time, dick!

1:05:441:05:47

Hey... Guys... Listen,

1:05:471:05:50

this is a serious situation. I mean, I'm kicked out of school!

1:05:501:05:54

I don't know what I'm gonna do. My mom's gonna kill me.

1:05:541:05:58

Come on. She's not gonna kill you. Yes, she is.

1:05:581:06:01

I'm the first one to go to college in my family. When I left she said,

1:06:011:06:05

"Weensie, if you screw this up, I kill you."

1:06:051:06:09

She showed me the knife.

1:06:091:06:12

Ssshh...

1:06:121:06:14

Mitch is a lawyer, buddy. He's gonna take care of this thing.

1:06:141:06:19

You're gonna be all right.

1:06:191:06:21

He was meant to be Luke Skywalker.

1:06:231:06:26

Guys, do you still wanna be in the fraternity?

1:06:261:06:29

We've been waiting all semester for you to ask us that.

1:06:301:06:33

I need your help with something, off the record. You do this, you're in.

1:06:331:06:37

Sir, yes, sir. Walsh, I need you to track down

1:06:371:06:41

a copy of university code 7A. Fax it to this number immediately.

1:06:411:06:44

I need to talk to you. Give me five minutes.

1:06:441:06:47

Booker, make two copies of this petition

1:06:471:06:50

and message it to 34 Langley. Listen!

1:06:501:06:53

Donald says you've got these guys working arbitration.

1:06:531:06:56

I want them on the Sunshine Square deal!

1:06:561:06:59

I locked that deal yesterday, so now they're helping with the arbitration.

1:06:591:07:04

I'd appreciate it if you let me handle my own team

1:07:041:07:07

and don't get on my ass every time I'm trying to do something!

1:07:071:07:11

All right. I wanna make sure you're on top of it.

1:07:111:07:14

Well, I am. Well, good. Carry on.

1:07:141:07:18

See? That's why they call him the Godfather.

1:07:181:07:21

Hey!

1:07:211:07:23

Just take care of it.

1:07:231:07:26

Gentlemen, I got some good news and I got some bad news.

1:07:281:07:32

I did some research. What Pritchard did, technically, is illegal.

1:07:321:07:36

We have the right to a formal evaluation

1:07:361:07:40

before they can deny our application. However,

1:07:401:07:43

we're now subject to a review given by the board of trustees.

1:07:431:07:46

Damn it! Wait, what does that mean exactly?

1:07:461:07:51

It's a thorough inspection of our fraternity

1:07:511:07:54

and our contribution to the community.

1:07:541:07:58

The focus is on five categories - academics, athletics,

1:07:581:08:01

community service, debate and school spirit.

1:08:011:08:05

Good luck. It was nice to know you and I'll see you round campus.

1:08:051:08:10

Actually, all of us are being tested. Yeah.

1:08:101:08:13

What are you talking about? I'm not even in school.

1:08:131:08:16

It's in the bylaws. Every member is subject to review in every category,

1:08:161:08:20

including academics.

1:08:201:08:22

Mitch, I don't mind popping for breakfast.

1:08:221:08:25

I do speakers, OK? I don't so tests.

1:08:251:08:28

What happened to needing brotherhood now more than ever?!

1:08:281:08:32

They need us. College is overrated, anyway.

1:08:321:08:35

I built Speaker City from the ground up. I can barely read! It's true!

1:08:351:08:39

This damn thing was your idea. You convinced me to do it,

1:08:391:08:42

and now people's lives are ruined! Ruined?!

1:08:421:08:45

Yeah! Like whose life is ruined? Well, let's see...

1:08:451:08:49

Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I've lost my house.

1:08:491:08:53

Nicole thinks I'm a total jackass,

1:08:531:08:55

and now we've got nine kids who are gonna get expelled from school,

1:08:551:09:00

and you're not even gonna help them out!

1:09:001:09:03

So, is this going to go down smooth? I'm missing 18 holes of golf here.

1:09:161:09:20

I got creative with their tests. It should make for an entertaining day.

1:09:201:09:24

I'll enjoy kicking these assholes off campus. Ditto.

1:09:241:09:28

Welcome to the official debate section of the charter review.

1:09:291:09:33

Unfortunately,

1:09:341:09:37

the captain of the university debate team had a scheduling conflict,

1:09:371:09:41

so we had to bring someone else in to fill in for this event.

1:09:411:09:45

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the co-host of CNN's Crossfire,

1:09:451:09:50

famed political consultant, the Ragin' Cajun, Mr James Carvell.

1:09:501:09:55

Thank you, Dean Pritchard. It's an honour and a pleasure to be here.

1:09:591:10:04

Topic number one...

1:10:041:10:07

What is your position on the role of government in supporting innovation

1:10:071:10:12

in the field of biotechnology?

1:10:121:10:15

Dean, I'm glad you asked... Actually,

1:10:161:10:18

I'd like to take that one, Jimmy.

1:10:181:10:21

CROWD MUTTERS Have at it.

1:10:211:10:24

What?!

1:10:241:10:26

(Frank, no!)

1:10:281:10:30

Recent research shows that empirical evidence

1:10:321:10:35

for globalisation of corporate innovation is limited

1:10:351:10:39

and the market for technologies is shrinking. As a world leader,

1:10:391:10:42

it's important for the US to provide research grants for scientists.

1:10:421:10:46

I believe there will always be a need for a well-articulated innovation policy

1:10:461:10:50

with emphasis on human resource development.

1:10:501:10:54

Where'd that come from? What? I blacked out. It was awesome!

1:10:571:11:02

That was interesting. Thank you very much.

1:11:021:11:05

Your rebuttal, Mr Carvell?

1:11:051:11:08

Er... We have no response.

1:11:081:11:11

That was perfect.

1:11:111:11:14

THEY CHEER

1:11:141:11:16

That's the way you do it. That's the way you debate.

1:11:161:11:20

(Number 12.

1:11:301:11:32

("Which of the following is an accepted graphical technique

1:11:321:11:36

("for determining first order system parameters?

1:11:361:11:40

("Is it A - Harriot's method of solving cubics?

1:11:401:11:45

("B - Pythagorean triples?

1:11:451:11:48

("Or C - the migration method of graphic quadratic functions?")

1:11:481:11:53

Harriot's method of solving cubics. "The answer is A - Harriot's method of solving cubics."

1:11:551:12:00

(Good test.)

1:12:051:12:07

All right, Frank, let's do this.

1:12:151:12:18

Go!

1:12:191:12:20

# Everybody, dance now

1:12:201:12:22

# Everybody, dance now

1:12:281:12:30

# Give me the music

1:12:381:12:39

# Give me the music

1:12:421:12:43

# Everybody, dance now

1:12:441:12:47

# Everybody, dance now. #

1:12:531:12:55

Yes! Wow.

1:12:591:13:01

Let's go, Cougars!

1:13:071:13:10

Agh! Oh, no!

1:13:121:13:15

Help me! Help me! Argh!

1:13:181:13:22

Dean Pritchard, can I talk to you? Megan, I'm a little busy.

1:13:241:13:27

I didn't get in to Columbia Law School. How awful(!)

1:13:271:13:31

You said if I revoked their charter, you'd get me in.

1:13:311:13:34

I did say that. No-one at Columbia's heard of you!

1:13:341:13:37

Oh, Megan... Look, I did my part, now you have to do yours.

1:13:371:13:42

That's how bribes work! I know how bribes work!

1:13:421:13:45

I bribe people all the time. But I changed my mind. Lesson learned!

1:13:451:13:49

DOOR SLAMS

1:13:501:13:52

Damn it!

1:13:521:13:54

I'm sorry, guys. I lost my composure out there. I'm an idiot.

1:13:541:13:58

Frankie, don't worry. We'll make those points up.

1:13:581:14:02

Your skin's gonna grow back, too.

1:14:021:14:04

I'm sorry. Yeah.

1:14:041:14:06

How many events are left? One.

1:14:061:14:09

Frank's accident set us back, but... BANGS DOOR ANGRILY

1:14:091:14:12

But if we pass athletics, we're in.

1:14:121:14:15

All right! That's what I'm talking about, guys.

1:14:151:14:18

We made a great effort so far. Keep it up!

1:14:181:14:20

That's right! We can't have anyone freak out out there, OK?!

1:14:201:14:24

We've got to keep our composure! We've come too far!

1:14:241:14:28

There's too much to lose! Keep our composure!

1:14:281:14:31

For your final test, I've chosen the men's gymnastic team's all-rounder.

1:14:311:14:35

Participants in the three events will be chosen at random by me.

1:14:351:14:40

Let's see... Er, rings.

1:14:401:14:43

Er, Bernard. OK, great.

1:14:431:14:45

Full exercise... How about Frank? Great.

1:14:451:14:49

And for the vault competition... Oh, I don't know.

1:14:491:14:53

How about, er...

1:14:531:14:56

..you. Me?

1:14:571:14:59

Yeah. Is there a problem with that?

1:14:591:15:02

MUSIC: Theme from "Chariots Of Fire"

1:15:021:15:05

I'm still holding.

1:15:401:15:43

Still holding!

1:15:431:15:45

It's physically impossible.

1:15:481:15:51

No. Don't worry. Abdul's here to spot you.

1:15:511:15:54

We're waiting, gentlemen.

1:15:561:15:59

Just hit the board as hard as you can and shut your eyes, all right?

1:15:591:16:03

Ready? Have fun with it.

1:16:031:16:05

Go! Come on!

1:16:051:16:08

Come on!

1:16:121:16:15

Aargghh!

1:16:201:16:22

Aargh!

1:16:221:16:24

Yeah! Oh, my God!

1:16:271:16:29

THEY ALL CHEER

1:16:291:16:31

Hey, how you doing?

1:16:421:16:44

Congratulations.

1:16:461:16:47

You put forth quite en effort. Thanks. Really did.

1:16:471:16:50

But I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. You didn't pass the review.

1:16:501:16:55

Wh-What are you talking about? We finished with an 84%.

1:16:551:17:00

Yes, you people did finish with an 84%,

1:17:001:17:02

but, unfortunately, another pledge scored a zero in every category.

1:17:021:17:06

What pledge?

1:17:061:17:09

A Joseph Blue Pallaski.

1:17:091:17:12

THEY LAUGH

1:17:121:17:14

Hey, man, Blue's dead. He passed away two weeks ago.

1:17:141:17:17

He's listed right here on your official chapter roster,

1:17:171:17:21

and those zeros drop your average to a...58%. Come on! You gotta be kidding me!

1:17:211:17:26

It's been quite a journey.

1:17:261:17:30

You're gonna be all right, Frank.

1:17:301:17:32

Come on now, big cat. I have no reason to live.

1:17:321:17:36

We're going to find you a one-bedroom apartment,

1:17:361:17:39

get you back on your feet... It's not gonna be the same!

1:17:391:17:42

Didn't quite work out for you, fellas, did it?

1:17:421:17:45

I recommend you drive away,

1:17:451:17:48

before something very bad happens. Ooh, I'm scared(!)

1:17:481:17:51

Mitch, am I interrupting? You actually are.

1:17:511:17:54

If you leave, that'd be tremendous. You might find this interesting.

1:17:541:17:58

'You said if I revoked the charter, you'd get me in to Columbia.

1:17:581:18:03

'I did say that. I did my part, now you have to do yours.

1:18:031:18:07

'That's how bribes work. I know how bribes work.'

1:18:071:18:10

Let me... No!

1:18:101:18:12

Get him, Frankie!

1:18:121:18:14

Pritchard! Hey, it's over.

1:18:261:18:28

Hand over the tape. It's over. It's over.

1:18:281:18:32

Where did the others get to? We all spread out.

1:18:321:18:35

Ow! What are you doing?

1:18:351:18:38

Wh...? Ow! Hey! Time-out! Time-out!

1:18:381:18:42

Excuse me. Excuse me!

1:18:461:18:49

Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

1:18:491:18:51

Wait! My shoulder!

1:18:581:19:00

This man accosted me! You're all witnesses!

1:19:071:19:11

Frank! Frank!

1:19:111:19:14

Frank, are you OK?

1:19:161:19:18

I... Mitch, I-I'm so cold.

1:19:181:19:22

Come on, big cat.

1:19:231:19:25

I-I think I see Blue. Ssh...

1:19:251:19:28

He looks glorious!

1:19:281:19:31

Stay with me. OK. Stay with me.

1:19:311:19:33

I did good.

1:19:331:19:36

You did great!

1:19:371:19:39

Hi!

1:20:081:20:10

Hey! Wow...

1:20:111:20:14

How are you? I'm OK.

1:20:151:20:17

You know, I got that apartment. Good for you. That's great.

1:20:171:20:21

And you were right about Mark. What happened?

1:20:211:20:25

Well, let's just say I caught him red-handed

1:20:251:20:28

and it wasn't pretty. Oh.

1:20:281:20:30

I guess I thought he could change. I don't know...

1:20:301:20:34

So, you're moving out?

1:20:351:20:38

Er, yeah. I'm moving into a new place

1:20:381:20:41

far, far away from here.

1:20:411:20:43

What about your little fraternity?

1:20:431:20:46

They're upgrading, moving into a new facility,

1:20:461:20:49

and to tell you the truth,

1:20:491:20:51

they don't have much use for the Godfather any more.

1:20:511:20:55

I hope you'll still think I'm cool, even without...all this!

1:20:551:21:00

Ah-ha. I think I can deal with it! I appreciate it.

1:21:001:21:04

Although, you know, I have to say,

1:21:041:21:06

I have always been curious about what goes on inside these places.

1:21:061:21:11

Yeah? Yeah.

1:21:111:21:13

Well...

1:21:131:21:15

I do have another 12 hours on my lease.

1:21:151:21:18

I'd be more than happy to...show you around.

1:21:181:21:22

Really? Yeah.

1:21:221:21:25

Maybe for a minute.

1:21:251:21:27

Great.

1:21:271:21:30

Happy Tuesday!

1:21:301:21:32

Frank The Tank here at Harrison Cougar Radio, 88.6.

1:21:321:21:35

I wanna give a shout out to the Godfather.

1:21:351:21:38

If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here today, Mitch. I'd be dead.

1:21:381:21:43

Face-down in a drained pool somewhere.

1:21:431:21:46

'Quick note to all you future brothers out there,

1:21:461:21:50

'there's a brand-new house on campus, Dean Pritchard's former residence.

1:21:501:21:54

'You all remember that crazy bastard!

1:21:541:21:57

'Well, we'd love for you to join us this Saturday at our open house

1:21:571:22:00

'for some chips, soda and late-night streaking.'

1:22:001:22:04

A little right. A little more.

1:22:041:22:06

Yeah. That's good enough.

1:22:061:22:09

Welcome aboard, Booker. Thanks, sir.

1:22:101:22:12

Walsh. Thanks, Tank. Well done. Get me a fresh beer.

1:22:121:22:16

Are you serious? NOW!

1:22:161:22:19

NOW! You son of a bitch!

1:22:191:22:21

MUSIC: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake

1:22:221:22:25

# Like a drifter

1:22:291:22:30

# I was born to walk alone

1:22:301:22:33

# And I've made up my mind... #

1:22:351:22:38

HE WHISTLES

1:22:381:22:41

# But here I go again... #

1:22:431:22:46

HORNS TOOT

1:22:481:22:50

Aargghh!

1:22:501:22:53

Oh, shit!

1:22:551:22:57

# I close my eyes

1:23:071:23:11

# Only for a moment

1:23:111:23:13

# And the moment's gone

1:23:131:23:16

# All my dreams

1:23:161:23:21

# Pass before my eyes

1:23:211:23:23

# A curiosity

1:23:231:23:26

# Dust

1:23:261:23:27

# In the wind...

1:23:271:23:30

# All they are

1:23:301:23:31

# Is dust in the wind. #

1:23:311:23:34

We gotta stay in the goal, man.

1:23:341:23:37

Between the posts. Can we say between the posts?

1:23:371:23:40

I want focus! I want intensity! I want a one, two, three!

1:23:401:23:43

THEY CHEER

1:23:431:23:46

Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Eat 'em up!

1:23:461:23:49

You know what to do in the box. We talked about it!

1:23:491:23:52

We're up by six.

1:23:521:23:55

The ref's a real prick out there. Yeah! That's right, you heard me!

1:23:551:23:59

Number four's been throwing elbows all day!

1:23:591:24:03

What? Let's make it official, then, jackass! Let's make it official!

1:24:031:24:07

Pick up the clipboard. I'll be in the car.

1:24:091:24:11

Have some respect for yourself.

1:24:111:24:14

Is that Frank The Tank?!

1:24:141:24:17

Oh, hey, Heidi! How you doing?

1:24:171:24:21

I'm doing really good! You know, I got into body painting.

1:24:211:24:26

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Great.

1:24:261:24:29

Wow! You're looking very healthy.

1:24:291:24:31

Oh, thanks. Yeah, so are you.

1:24:311:24:34

Oh, thank you!

1:24:341:24:36

So I heard you and Marissa split up. Is that true?

1:24:361:24:40

Yeah. We did. Oh, you poor baby!

1:24:401:24:44

I having this get-together at my place tomorrow night,

1:24:451:24:48

just like a few Internet friends. You should swing by.

1:24:481:24:52

Really? Totally!

1:24:521:24:54

OK. All right. It sounds awesome.

1:24:541:24:57

I'll see you tomorrow night. SHE GIGGLES

1:24:571:25:00

Awesome. Yes!

1:25:021:25:04

I am back! Whoo!

1:25:071:25:10

You know it!

1:25:131:25:16

I'm back. Who are you? The Doctor.

1:26:261:26:29

Doctor... Doctor...

1:26:291:26:30

Ah, the ghost. Who's the ghost?

1:26:301:26:32

Masked vigilante, but he's super.

1:26:321:26:34

Ah! Aaah!

1:26:341:26:36

This...seems nice.

1:26:361:26:38

Riotous campus comedy in which a lawyer unwittingly gives his thirtysomething friends an opportunity to recapture their college years when he relocates to a local university.

Having caught his wife cheating on him, the out-of-luck attorney find his new house turning into a 24-hour party pad for a variety of misfit college students, middle-aged slackers and elderly retirees as he struggles to avoid being evicted by the new dean of students.