The Hairy Bakers

-So, are you up for our longest journey so far?

-Oh, yeah!

Cornwall to Scotland, in search of perfect pies.

Our quest starts down a tin mine, home to the original Cornish pasty.

-It's very good.

-That'll keep you diggin'!

Then we'll be bonding with some horses over a classic apple pie.

BOTH: Pie.

Getting broody over a pork pie...

'Ee, we're proud fathers!

And, finally, our adventure reaches its climax

with a Scottish celebration of our passion for pies.

You can take away my freedom, but you're nae takin' away my pie!

Pies and pasties are bakers' best friends.

Every corner of this land has its own combination of perfect pastry and fulsome filling.

-Lovingly put together to delight the taste buds.

-And satisfy the discerning connoisseur.

Which is why we're making a butt-numbing journey in celebration of the British culinary superstar.

-You know what? I'm really looking forward to the hooly in Huntly.

-Your old haunt, man.

-Oh aye, I lived there for 15 years, so it's a bit of a homecoming.

-I can't wait.

Well you're gonna have to, because we're starting this trip about as far away from there as you can get -

at a tin mine in Cornwall.

Ah, summer in Cornwall.

That only means one thing.

THEY BEATBOX

BOTH RAP: We're big and we're nasty we're standing in Cornwall.

Building up a pasty...

A-a ee-ee a-woo-oo a-a aah!

Ee-ee ee-ee ee-ee!

The fundamental ground zero thing with a pie is pastry. Without pasty,

-it ain't a pie or a pasty, is it?

-No, it's a stew.

And the absolutely fundamental element of pastry is flour.

Now you know, making pastry really isn't that complicated.

In fact, it's a doddle. You can do it in a food processor.

Into that, some baking powder.

This just makes you have light pastry. You don't want your pastry to be like cricket pads.

You want it to be like an angel's wing. Put some salt in.

-Add the butter.

-Butter.

And the yolk of an egg for extra richness.

Now what we'll do is blitz that for a moment to a state of breadcrumbs.

-Some people are frightened by making pastry.

-I'm one of those people.

I had severe trepidation about making pastry.

But actually now, it's dead easy.

All you do now is add water, and then, miraculously, a ball of pastry will appear -

untouched by human hands.

It's just about to take off, that.

Captain, she cannae take much more! Wahey, fiery Jack! Look at that!

A ball of pastry. It's that easy.

Now what you do, because it's a boiling, really hot English summer's day...

Oh, aye. I'm lathered!

..is put the pastry in the fridge, just to cool down.

-It makes it easier to roll out and handle.

-However...

-We'll just go through the motions.

-Aye. We'll leave it on the table.

While the pastry's, erm, in the fridge, we're going to pop down the tin mine and take a look.

Now, it's not a working mine any more, but it's still dirty down there.

Former tin miner and baker Ian Davey guides tourists through his old stomping ground.

Now we've got a genuine tin miner down a genuine tin mine...

we want to dig for the truth about the history of the pasty.

Is it true or is it a myth that pasties started when miners took them down the mine for their lunch?

Well, they did take them down. Years ago the miners would have taken pasties for lunch.

There is a school of thought as well that the Cornish pasty was in half.

It was sweet on one side and savoury on the other. Is that right?

Yes, apparently years ago you would have apple at one end and you would have your meat and veg at the other.

So you'd eat your dinner and then you'd eat your puddin'.

How many ate the puddin' before the dinner, I'll never know!

And how do you tell? Which end do you start?

When I was a kid, my mother made pasties.

We used to take the top off, eat the bottom with the veg

and the meat on it, and then the top, we would spread treacle on it.

And that would dinner and puddin' in one pastry.

I love a good pasty.

But you know what? I felt like a hobbit down a hole down there, so I'm glad to get back up here.

-Here we are.

-You're rolling well, you.

I think that's us.

A dinner plate. Perfect template. It's a man-sized pasty.

Just score round that with a knife.

-Look at that!

-A perfect circle of pastry.

First off, a layer of onion.

Some chopped up rib-eye steak.

Plenty of.

Spread it evenly so that every gobful you get a bite.

A well-seasoned pasty is a thing of joy.

Now I've got finely chopped potatoes here.

They have been blanched so you're not gonna get raw tater.

And what every pasty must have is turnip.

The taste of the turnip makes the Cornish pasty individual.

It's like a symphony in a blanket.

-It's great.

-A bit more seasoning.

And a little bit of parsley just for a bit of colour.

Round the perimeter of the disc of pastry, brush it...

-with beaten egg.

-Now make a traditional boat-shaped pasty.

Put one side up, pull the other side up.

Now, you see, we want a good crimp down here,

because that will be your handle

in which to eat your pasty. Michelangelo...

Give this an eggy wash.

-I love you!

-Yes!

If you're not lucky enough to have a charcoal oven like us,

then make do with a normal one

at 180 degrees Centigrade for about half an hour.

Thankfully, when we're not here to help, the visitors to the mine

can still get their chops around great pasties.

Now we're off to find Margaret, the canteen cook and pasty queen.

Margaret!

-Hello.

-Hello.

Hello. It's a good bell that, isn't it?

Wonderful bell.

Do you fancy coming for a nibble? Give our pasties a try?

-I will.

-Yes...!

-Will our pasty tickle Margaret...

-and Ian's...

-..finely-tuned taste buds?

Look at that! Hey, isn't that lovely?

-Here you go, guys.

-Thank you very much.

-Fingers crossed.

It's looking nice. A nice bit of meat.

Smells all right.

It's very nice. Very nice.

-Yeah, yeah. Very nice.

-Yes!

-Yes!

BOTH: Result!

With an early win notched up on the handlebars,

we're heading north towards the village of Abberley for round two.

We're in Worcestershire, known as the fruit basket of England.

And it's the fruit we've come for.

The English summer is back to its usual tricks.

In return for the fruits of our labour, hard-working orchard owner

Louisa has kindly offered us her stable for shelter.

-And it comes complete with an audience.

-Say hello to Flora...

and Midnight.

-Oh, right then.

-Aye. Today we're gonna cook something

-that everybody absolutely loves.

-BOTH: An apple pie!

But it's a proper apple pie. We never do things by half.

If we're doing curry, we'll go to India.

Chow mein, we'll do it in China. We're doing apple pie, we're doing it in Worcestershire.

We've got horses, we've got everything.

It's all a bit Darling Buds of May.

-You look like Pam Ferris!

-It's not Pam Ferris I'm looking for, it's Catherine Zeta Jones.

Don't look at me!

When you're making a pie, step one is always the flour.

After the flour, salt.

Because it is a sweet pastry, sugar.

Because it's all rural and rustic, we haven't got the blender.

-So we're going cabin doors to manual.

-# De dee-dee dee! #

Now it's a rich butter shortcrust sweet pastry.

Don't bother using marge because it's crap. Use butter.

You want to evenly distribute it through the flour.

One whole beaten egg

and two egg yolks. And just work that in.

-Notice we haven't put any other moisture in it at all other than the egg.

-Having said that,

-if it's a bit dry just put a tablespoon of water in.

-Exactly.

You have a bowl of pastry. The important thing to do with this, you need to work it a little bit.

Flour your table and just bring it together. What it'll do is just break down the grain

and smooth all that lovely pastry out. There we are.

-That's us.

-Right. Stick this in the fridge for half an hour.

-That's important.

-Cup of tea.

-You gonna have a cup of tea?

-I'll bring you one back.

Bring one back. I've got an affinity with Flora.

Though I'm not sure that Flora feels the same!

While Louisa's tending her apples, she's entrusted us with her kitchen,

so Dave can chill the pastry for about half an hour.

Once it's out, I'm taking a third off for the lid and rolling out the rest.

Line the tin with pastry.

Prick it to stop it rising.

And then weigh it down to make sure it doesn't go anywhere.

-Then, while it's blind baking in the oven...

-Aga, love - Aga.

-We're in the country, you know.

-Ooh! Peel and slice the apples.

After about ten minutes the case should be blind baked.

So it's time to get on with stuffing it full of juicy goodness.

Hey up, Simon James King, cook and part-time horse whisperer.

There we are. There is the blind baked case.

I've left plenty of excess.

I'll just trim that off with a knife.

-Lovely!

-And this is the good bit.

Now, in the art of apple pie making, top tip number one.

Put a tablespoon of semolina in the bottom of the pastry case.

It'll stop you getting a soggy bottom.

And there's nothing...

worse than a soggy bottom!

Right. Start packing the apples. Now don't be mean.

-I'll get crackin' with the top.

-You're gonna flip your lid.

-I'll flip the lid.

Now this is a big pie. A well-packed pie.

Nice layer of sugar on top of that. Nice sprinkling of cinnamon.

Now, top tip number two.

These sultanas have been soaked in orange juice, so they're super plump.

That's going to be little taste sensations as you munch through into your pie.

More apples, some more cinnamon.

-And some more sugar.

-The sugar's important actually.

-They're a cooking apple, they're sour.

-They are.

We're offering Bramleys to the horses.

And it was like, "Apple, yum. Bramley..."

That Bramley came out like a bullet, didn't it? Phvoom! Phweurgh!

What do you mean "yes"?

It's no good saying yes now. Eggy wash.

Just around the edge there, like so.

This is so that the lid will stick to the base.

Heigh-ho, chief.

You're a wizard with the rolling pin, Kingy.

It's all those years laying Tarmac!

Just trim that to fit.

Now...

finger and thumb, just little nipping ups like that.

Go on guys, give it a go. Make the missus a pie for the weekend.

BOTH: Made you a pie.

Right, air holes. The steam's got to go somewhere - you don't want it lifting your stack.

-Are we egg washing liberally?

-We are egg washing liberally. And then it's on to

top tip number three.

Use golden caster sugar or granulated, and it's gonna sparkle like diamonds.

It's for that boulangerie chic.

The pie will take about 40 minutes in a medium oven.

After a morning's hard labour, orchard owner Louisa and the family are about to get their reward.

-Come on, we're starving here.

-All right, all right!

Aw...

-Yes, it's here! Go on, mate!

-This is what you call a proper apple pie.

How fantastic.

Cor! Look at that.

Oh, man...

-Make a wish.

-Oooh...

-Look at that.

Perfect. Lovely, thanks.

We should have had candles on this, because Will's 21 today.

-Congratulations, Will.

-I'll tell you what, you eat these cakes you might not reach 30.

But you'll die happy.

-Clotted cream for me.

-Oh, it's lovely.

-That's one more pie made...

-and thoroughly demolished.

BOTH: Pie power rules!

Wee-hee!

From the home of the apple, it's a quick jaunt in a north easterly direction to Melton Mowbray.

On our quest for pie perfection,

there is one that's totally unmissable.

BOTH: And that's the pork pie!

Now any ideas about actually eating one are quickly put on hold

by Mr Stephen Hallam, known around these parts as Mr Porky Pie himself.

Before any tasty morsel can pass our lips, Stephen has us

at his demonstration area for an impromptu round of the Generation Game.

Press down and the pastry will start to rise off the table.

And then start working it upwards, using your hands to raise the pastry,

hence the expression of a "hand-raised" pie.

I think that's about enough, Si.

You're going for Britain there. That's good.

Right, now comes time to release the pastry from the mould.

Ease that down and you'll end up with a nice robust pastry case like this.

Then, in goes the meat.

Look at the pieces of good meat there.

It's not mince or slurry or anything bad.

We just use two cuts - shoulder and belly.

So, a nice tight ball, and then you have to throw it

in the middle so you don't trap any air around the bottom edge.

Excellent. Superb.

Got it first time!

And after that achievement, putting the lid on was pretty straightforward.

So, for the crimp, everybody has their own

but we use our two forefingers.

North, south, east and west.

Then we do it in the gaps. And there you've got

a nice eight-pointed crimp.

-That's how it goes in the oven.

-We're proud fathers!

-Very proud.

-Are we?

-Yes! Brilliant!

Fortunately Stephen doesn't have to rely on us to make all his pies.

Like champagne and Stilton, there are very strict rules about the making of a Melton Mowbray pork pie.

-You've got to do it with the right ingredients...

-using the right method...

-and of course it's got be made in the right place.

-I've got to say,

-it takes a lot to shut us up.

-Oh, but these pies really have what it takes!

-Gorgeous.

-It's a meal in a case.

Nothing against any other pork pie, fine, but when it comes to

Melton Mowbray, there's a group of us that are a bit passionate about it.

We can tell! Oh, it's fabulous.

All pied up, our journey northward can continue.

That's got a shindigs calling us you know.

But we've got one more stop before Scotland.

And that's at Dave's house on the north-west coast near Barrow.

We can really push the boat out

because, for once, we're gonna be inside, in my new posh kitchen.

So, we're making not one, but two great pies.

I'm doing a chicken, mushroom and tarragon pie.

While I'm cooking a cheese and onion pie with an extra special parmesan crust.

While both the pastry cases blind bake in the oven we'll get on with the fillings.

For my cheese and onion pie, I'm just going to pop the onions

into some boiling water and just blanch them for about three minutes.

Now, while Dave's onions are blanching I can get my pie under way.

One thing I found with a cheese and onion pie is you must have potatoes.

It really gives the pie more substance.

So Dave, are those spuds cooked then?

Yeah. You don't want to be crunching into raw potato.

Well, I'd better crack on and brown off this chicken then.

When you do a cheese and onion pie, the sauce can split so you've got

like cheese, onions, potatoes and curdly bits. This'll stop that.

I want like a heaped spoon of flour. That flour

is going to cling to the damp onions,

-like so.

-It's a great method this.

-It's great if you're cooking liver and onions.

-Yes, it is.

I've got some cream mixed with milk.

Just pour that on... and keep stirring.

Now it's time to push the flavours into the chicken pie filling.

My fave is the fabulous tarragon.

It's what makes this pie a real corker.

A good glug of wine.

-Oi! In the sauce, not the cook!

-Spoilsport.

Now, this is the important bit.

What we don't want is a wet sauce.

We want it concentrated, all those lovely flavours and gravy to go right down.

So, let it go with the lid off for about 20 minutes.

-It's great cooking two different recipes at once.

-Yeah, cos it means we get more to eat at the end of it!

Don't waste any.

So give it a good stir.

You used to eat these and get off your trotters.

-I know.

-Something that looks similar anyway.

-I can't do that now. I just hyperventilate about my mortgage.

After the final few ingredients, my filling is ready.

And I'm not that far off.

Hot oil, everything lovely. Listen to this...

-PAN SIZZLES

-That's what you're after.

Chicken's ready to come out now, that cooking liquor's ready to be reduced.

-I need a bowl. Oh, Dave!

-Dave.

-Yes, excellent. Thanks, mate.

-Look.

-That looks lovely.

-Doesn't it?

-It's the smell.

And it doesn't just smell good.

Get your finger into that.

-That's so intense.

-Isn't it?

-Oh, aye.

I'm going to put that into there, like that.

Finally, it all comes together with some rich, tangy soured cream.

Tell you what, Kingy, forget your pie. Just give that with a bowl of pasta and you'd be a very happy man!

-Ooh.

-Taste that, see what you think.

-On the money.

-And ready to go into our pastry cases.

Once they're full to bursting say goodbye to the filling.

You won't see it again until it's about to go into your gob.

-There.

-Voila.

A pair of perfect pies.

Into the oven, about 190 degrees centigrade for about 25 minutes or until golden.

-Out!

-Oh, out, can you believe it?

Saved by the oven bell.

Just look at those beauties.

The final leg of this epic pursuit of pies

takes us from Dave's home in Cumbria, north to Huntly in Scotland.

I lived up here for nearly 15 years,

so riding these roads, it just feels like coming home.

In honour of this reunion, if the rain holds off...

-and even if it doesn't...

-we've got a big, big party planned.

But before we cook for that, we've got to visit an old friend of ours,

the infamous local pie maker, John Smith.

Hey man, that's enough roaming in the gloamin' in't it?

Oh, aye, man, it's weather for ducks.

John? Are you in?

John Smith's family have been making an eclectic range of pies here for three generations.

He's offered to show us some so we can choose which to take with us for the party later.

We're ready for some of your pies. We've ridden a long way!

-Well, we've been working all morning and we've got some for you.

-What have you got?

Well, we can start off with potato and bean pies,

macaroni,

100% steak mince,

-meat and beans, and this one is just the chicken pies.

-It just keeps coming.

-It's pie heaven.

We have steak ones here, David, and then we've got

-curry pie.

-Chicken curry?

-Chicken curry pies.

When you're coming home at four in the morning, you come past the back of your bakery.

Maybe 30 dozen pies some nights.

-Who ate all the pies? Clearly us, you know!

-Yeah!

Now forgive me, but there's one pie here that's missing.

There's one pie here that's missing and it's there in the oven.

-The famous one.

-The famous one is the Scotch pie.

Nearly every baker in Scotland has his own recipe for Scotch pie.

And this one is John Smith senior's pride and joy.

-Scotch pies, that's a sight to blow your kilt up, isn't it?

-Isn't it? Look!

Oh, yes!

-Thanks, Mr Smith.

-Look at that, full to the brim.

Mr Smith, what goes into the pies, cos your John'll not tell us!

LAUGHTER

That is a very top secret!

While he didn't share any details, traditionally a Scotch pie is filled with mutton.

Whatever! We're having some for our party later anyway.

But it's not the main thing we'll be serving, because we've got a salmon pie recipe to die for.

Beyond Huntly Castle is the River Deveron,

not only will its banks be good for our party,

but the river itself has got some serious salmon history.

What better place to cook salmon than on the shores of the majestic Deveron.

-It's getting ever closer as well actually, with all that rain!

-Eh, the river's about to burst!

What's important about the Deveron, the biggest salmon ever caught -

-of 61 pounderoonies...

-was caught by a little lady who was 4'10"

-called Clementine Morison.

-One for the girls, that.

-And today, chaps, we're cooking a salmon koulibiac.

-It could be a cool-ia-bac.

-Koulibiac.

-Cool-ia-bac, however, whatever you decide to call it,

it's a stuffed fish pie. It's great.

Yeah, it's brilliant. But like all pies, you should just sink your teeth into it and eat without worry,

so we need to pinbone and skin it.

-I'll skin it.

-And I'll pin it.

Skin, clean.

If you can't afford a pair of silver salmon pin boners,

just get your pliers out of your tool kit and start plucking.

There are working class ways to get round every middle class problem.

It's time to make the filling, because this pie is one flavour-packed fishy sandwich.

Right, I've got some rice in here which has been cooked in some fish stock, so it's kind of fishy rice.

Before the mushrooms go in, the rice needs some extra zing.

I love a bit of zing, me.

Well, the dill will give you that.

Bind it with an egg, and then for added fishy-ness, chopped prawns.

-Ready for the mushers?

-Oh, go for it.

And the juice of half a lemon.

Ah, now, do we zest?

Oh, aye, I forgot!

Over to you, Mr Zester. Now I'm going to get my hands in this

and just work everything together, into a stuffing.

Have a taste to check the seasoning.

-That's lovely, isn't it?

-Ah, that's perfect, man.

And now, the build.

We're using bought puff pastry because when you're by a rising river, well, time is of the essence.

It's like the Dead Sea scrolls, of which wisdom is going to be written in the culinary form.

These are spinach leaves. And what we're going to do is just layer those spinach leaves up.

-Here we are.

-Take that first slab of salmon, place it on to the spinach.

Squeeze the moisture out of that...

and just start to cover that salmon fillet.

And now on top of that stuffing, sandwich the other fillet of salmon.

On top of this we put another layer of spinach.

Now all we need to do is to encase that in pastry, to make the pie.

You see, it's a simple thing but it just... I'm getting excited now!

I love this bit.

-We're there, we're there.

-Lovely.

Oh, me cocker, look at that.

Yes.

Time for trimming.

As they'd say in Edinburgh, presentation is everything, you know?

One eats with one's eyes first.

What have you got for me, Mr King?

Look at this, look. Moby Dick.

Thing is, it's puff pastry so it'll start out like a trout and end up looking like a bloater.

Eggy wash!

That's a pie and a half.

The pie will take about half an hour to bake in a 180 degree oven.

Just enough time for us to get dressed up for the party

-for which the good people of Huntly have already begun to arrive.

-And aren't they going to get a shock!

The salmon koulibiac.

Or cool-ia-bac, depending on how you pronounce it.

You ready?

Now, dear viewers, just get your eyeballs down inside that pie.

You've got the pastry, the spinach, the salmon.

That stuffing, it's all been steamed in the salmon juices.

It's a thing of wonder.

What's that on your head?

Ya can take away ma freedom but you're nae taking away ma pie!

Grub's up, it is! Come on, come on, come down and have a bite!

They only need telling once.

I've got a portion here.

It is lovely.

And lads, I think you'll get one bit in its entirety.

You're very welcome.

There's not many better places in the world to cook than this.

And with the pies going fast, the entertainment moves up a notch.

-APPLAUSE

-Yey!

-Fantastic.

-That was brilliant.

-Wasn't it?

Do you know, I feel like I'm in Brigadoon.

Not any more.

BOTH: Yey! Well done!

It's all very bizarre, I've got to say.

I was just saying to Dave before, it's like kind of Highland dancing

but with cinnamon. Do you know what I mean?

LAUGHTER

Hey, and on that high note my homecoming hooly comes to an end.

Leaving us to try and emulate the great Clementine Morrison and her mighty salmon catching heroics.

What a magnificent way to end a journey by the mighty Deveron river, dressed like this, fishing.

I felt so noble except when a lass turned round to me and said, "Eh, you, you look like Amy Winehouse!"

If you want to try these recipes yourself,

they're at...

On our next journey we criss-cross the country

in search of inspiration

for our toughest challenge yet -

celebration cakes.

Wahey, look at that!

That's magnificent.

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