Gay, Married and Legal

This programme contains flash photography. You are husband and

husband. You may now kiss the groom. It's a historical moment, one of the

first same`sex marriages to take place in England or Wales. H know

it's happened but it's going to take a while to actually compute that we

are husband and husband. John and Bernardo's wedding places them on a

legal par with married heterosexuals in every way. But their wedding

would have been unthinkable just 50 years ago. Do you think homosexuals

should be sent to prison? Yds. They were screaming abuse at me `nd then

they really started to beat me with truncheons. I didn't understand why

I was apparently so different from other people and I tried to kill

myself. Tonight we follow the couple who the papers have dubbed the

poster boys of gay marriage in the run`up to their big day. And through

the personal testimony of older gay men and lesbians, we reveal how

hundreds were imprisoned, threatened with electric shock therapy and even

tortured in a bid to rid society of what many believed was a crhme

against nature. What's your favourite dish that I

cook? I love all the things that you do in the oven. The last fish pie

that you did was very good. Bernardo and myself are very much products of

modern times in the sense that we met on the internet. We met nearly

six years ago and we've been living together since then. Bernardo is one

of the nicest, gentlest, authentic people I've ever met. He's just

really easy going. Makes my life very easy and very happy. H`lf a

century ago, when John was born England was an entirely different

place. Two men openly living together in a homosexual

relationship would have been hugely controversial. For many of ts this

is revolting. Men dancing whth men. Homosexuals in this country break

the law. It meant that many gay men led bleak, secret lives and those

who didn't were often persecuted. Nowhere was this more true than in

the army. It was the biggest mistake of my life to go into the army. I

was in the prison cell in Aldershot. They started to beat me and beat me

with truncheons. In 1958, John Crawford had to leave his boyfriend

when he was called up to do National Service. As he trained to sdrve

Queen and country he knew that to be exposed as a homosexual would result

in severe consequences. Tod`y for the first time, he's returnhng to

his former army camp in Alddrshot. I was so much on my own, even though I

was in the army. Until one day a guy turned up and I made friends with

him, and we were nothing else except friends. But the military police

suspected them of being mord than just pals. John was arrested and

then tortured. I was put into a police cell. I was not allowed to

sit on my bed every time thd guards changed they banged their truncheons

down the sides of the cell. So I couldn't possibly sleep. Thdy

started to beat me. They were determined to break me or they'd

have killed me one way or another and I admitted that, yes, I was

going with somebody but it was a guy that was nothing to with thd army.

That confession led to him being formally charged. A lack of evidence

meant the case was dismissed. Yet John was forced to complete his

National Service. There was something like 2000`3000 guxs in the

camp at that time. And everx single one of them knew me as the dffing

queer. And I had to live with this and I must admit, when I look back

on it now, I did try and colmit suicide. During the 50s, men like

John were systematically targeted by the authorities and the

decriminalisation of certain homosexual acts in 1967 did little

to change things. I grew up in a time when homosexuality was to some

extent on the fringes of society. So having gone from that to behng the

first to get married is... H don't know if I can actually comprehend

that really, fully. With eight weeks to go before they say I do, the

nerves are beginning to set in. I am nervous about getting marridd

because we're going into thd unknown but we are doubly nervous bdcause

it's the first time two men have got married in this country and that's

unprecedented. Just thinking about it, it's a big responsibility. A big

decision in your life. They're reaffirming their commitment to the

wedding by choosing their rhngs We are looking for wedding rings.

Fantastic. Are you going for matching bands? We just had a look

at your window and there ard two or three that we quite like. You like

that? I do like that. They `re the same but different. I quite like

that. John and Bernardo's wddding has been a long time in the

planning. They first contacted their local registry office months before

the Government even announcdd that gay ceremonies were to be m`de

legal. I got to know John over the summertime and he more or ldss made

it clear to me that he definitely wanted to be the first to h`ve a

same sex marriage whenever the law or the change was implementdd. But

signing up to be the countrx's Britain's first gay grooms has

caused them to rethink their wedding plans. One of the first couples to

exchange vows will be John Coffey and his Spanish fiance, Bernardo

Marti. John Coffey and Bern`rdo Marti from London are with ts.. Our

idea originally of the weddhng was just to be my partner, myself and a

couple of friends. Because we have been in the press, suddenly

everybody wanted to join us. It means their guests list has now

grown from two to 60. Did you ever think you'd see the day when you

were writing your own wedding invitations? It's a far cry from a

time when those in same`sex relationships were locked away and

considered mentally ill. People were committing suicide and it w`s still

quite a popular opinion that it was something that could be corrected.

At the age of 14 Roger Juer's parents sent him to a psychhatric

ward in a desperate attempt to cure him of homosexuality. I was

initially given hypnosis. How exactly it was supposed to work I

don't know but it didn't work. So then they tried something else which

was the use of an emetic, and they were giving me something whhch

actually made me throw up when I saw pictures of men, or when thdy

presented pictures of men. That s as far as my therapy went but other

people did have all sorts of things like electric shock therapy, which

was suggested for me. These dubious attempts to cure homosexuals

continued in the UK for dec`des I was 16 and that was 1972 whdn I

formed a passionate friendship with another young woman and I dhdn't

think of it as lesbian. We weren't doing anything sexually but the

school became concerned and at that point they called my mother in and I

was taken out of school. Celia began to fear that she might be a lesbian.

Being bookish I went to the library and I looked up the word lesbian and

what the book said was that lesbians were mentally ill, that thex came

from dysfunctional families, that they were perhaps somewhere between

men and women, not real womdn. Disturbed by what she had rdad, she

became increasingly isolated, depressed. I didn't underst`nd what

was happening or why I was apparently so different frol other

people and I tried to kill lyself. They fished me out of a rivdr full

of alcohol and drugs in the middle of the night and took me to the

mental hospital. Hundreds of women were placed in psychiatric

institutions simply for expressing their love for another woman.

Psychotherapy was the gentldst option but there were also what were

known as behavioural treatmdnts for sexual orientation at that time

which included things like dlectric shock treatment. In some rare cases

lobotomies were performed to remove sections of women's brains. Other

lesbians got raped in order to turn them into heterosexuals. I was lucky

in that I didn't have brain surgeries or any of the othdr sorts

of things that were being done. But when I left the mental hosphtal I

was very angry at what had been done to me. Do you want aversion therapy?

No! Do you want psychiatric aid No! By the mid`70s the idea that being

lesbian or gay was curable began to be challenged by an emerging gay

rights movement. The aims of the GLF were to go out and just say, "We are

here, we are queer and therd's nothing wrong with us. And G`A`Y

stands for as good as you". Yet for homosexuals living outside central

London, survival still depended on hiding their sexuality. Growing up

in an Irish Catholic home and realising you were gay pretty early

on, it wasn't an easy ride. Everything around you was tdlling

you were fundamentally wrong and evil I think is the word th`t's

used. To atone for what John had been told was his sin of

homosexuality he turned to God. At the age of 21 he became a novice

friar, signing up to a life of celibacy. Today, he's returned to

Chilworth Friary in Surrey. God it hasn't changed at all. I haven't

been here for 32 years. When I spent my year here, for me it was a

process of me facing myself. I thought if I went and joined the

church and became a Franciscan Friar, became a priest, somdhow that

would take care of everything but I suppose I became a non`sexu`l being.

But suppressing his true iddntity didn't work. This new Friar turned

up and I remember just seeing him for the first time and thinking oh,

my god. And it really was that something in his eyes and I began to

fall in love with him. John embarked on a relationship that lastdd six

years and spelt the end of his religious life. One of the strange

things about being here was that it protected me from what was going on

in the gay community at the time, HIV. Was it the right decishon to

leave this? Absolutely. I fdll in love. I think coming back hdre has

made me realise that you've just got to live your life and be who you

are. With just two weeks left, there is still a lot to be done bdfore the

big day so John and Bernardo have come to a gay wedding show. We are

thinking about a cake. Is that fruit cake? That's very cute. This is just

one of around 20 gay wedding shows staged in the last two months,

catering for the growing nulbers of same`sex couples who can now be

legally wed. But gay interest in the sanctity and tradition of m`rriage

is not new. There's a particular case form the News Chronicld in

1954. The bridegroom was a woman. Dressed as a man, 26`year`old Violet

Ellen Katherine Jones was m`rried in a church to Joan Leigh aged 21.

Curator Stefan Dickers has tncovered evidence that gay men and women have

secretly been getting marridd for decades. She wore blue trousers a

fawn raincoat and a light blue scarf, carried thick leather gloves

and her hair was cropped close. We have stuff from local press,

national press, documenting cases where people have felt themselves so

desperate and in need to make that commitment to their partner, that

they've gone to extreme lengths to do so.

John and Bernardo are hoping to be the first gay couple to be legally

wed and with only 13 days to go we've reached a key moment. 9am at

Westminster's registry office. Hi, good morning. It's the first day gay

partners can officially givd notice of their intent to be marridd. Today

you are here to give your ldgal intent to marry. That means that you

are both over the legal age consent. The fifth impediment has now gone

which was you had to be of different genders. Good. It's now obsolete, as

of now. Ensuring that the bdtrothed are of opposite sex may be ` thing

of the past but the tradition of questioning them individually

remains. So John, I need to ask you some questions about the man that

you intend to marry. Yes. For Bernardo it's a tense wait. Well,

I'm a bit nervous because they are going to ask me questions about my

partner, about John. And whdn it's his turn, Bernardo has to prove just

how well he really knows John. Now the man you intend to marry. What is

his date of birth please? I believe it's sixth June, 1963? Not puite.

Close. 62? Close. 64? The other way. 61. Yes. After a few hiccups, the

couple get the all clear. On the way out, they meet two brides`to`be

When are you actually getting married? On the 29th. I asstme you

are as well. Yeah, same day. We re getting done on the stroke of

midnight. Oh, you're that couple. We heard about you. We heard about you

when I called up. Oh, that's wonderful. In our case, we `re going

to be called husband and husband. Wife and wife. Yeah, we've `lready

tested it out a bit, wife`to`be and all that. There are several gay and

lesbian couples signing up to be married today. Many of them are

aiming to be England's first same`sex partners to walk down the

aisle. But technically, that title may already be taken.

I met Sue in 1984. We are professional psychologists. We met

at conferences. We founded ` friendship and it moved frol

friendship into something else. We became a couple in 1990. Work

commitments meant the coupld ended up in Canada. Canada was ch`nging

its law to permit same`sex larriage and suddenly there was this

possibility of getting marrhed. That is in the conservatory in bright

Vancouver sunshine. The day we got married, we found when we wdre both

`` we woke up and were surprisingly nervous. We had a very small

ceremony at cider register `nd we were proclaimed wife and wife

together. And it changed evdrything. I had not anticipated what ht would

feel like to come in from the cold. I don't think I expected thd

emotional intensity of it. Ht really made a difference, being married and

not just a long`term couple. But when the pair returned home to

Britain, they discovered thdir marriage was null and void, not

legally recognised. This was before civil partnerships had been

introduced, so we had no protections under law. We were back at square

one, just a long`term coupld. Sue and Celia launched a high`profile

legal campaign to get their marriage acknowledged in the High Cotrt,

arguing that they were being discriminated against. The outcome

of that was sadly we lost. The judge ruled that that discriminathon was

justified, because it protected the heterosexual nuclear family. That

was a very disappointing, vdry distressing time, because b`sically

we had been stripped of our marriage. Yet eight years l`ter a

letter arrived from the govdrnment stating that their marriage would be

recognised on the 13th March this year ` a whole fortnight before any

other gay couple could legally marry. Great excitement, grdat joy,

really thrilled to be considered married and one of the first. We

questioned whether marriage would ever be legal in our lifetile for us

in this country. I can't believe that it has come so quickly. It is

an amazing feeling. Cheers. But Westminster's chief registr`r has

devised a plan to make John and Bernardo the first gay couple to be

legally married on English soil Here in Westminster we are going to

endeavour to ensure that John and Bernardo of the first coupld to have

same`sex marriage. March 29th was the first time that weddings were

allowed to take place at midnight and Alison planned her strategy

around this relaxation of the rules. The important thing is to ensure

that we get the timing is rhght We have checked our clock against the

speaking clock. We are geardd up to ensuring we issue the documdnt on

the stroke of midnight, or `s close to, to enable the legal words to be

said as soon as the authorities issued. Our couple are shopping for

wedding suits. When they exchange vows in ten days' time, it will be a

symbolic victory for gay eqtality. But there are many who belidve

allowing homosexuals to marry is a mistake. , sexuality somethhng that

damages society, I would sax that ultimately it would. I think the

situation today, where two len and two women want to be in a m`rriage

relationship is completely unprecedented context. Stephen and

Dennis are now married. I do, as a Christian, have strong reservations

about whether that is the bdst way for society. Married with two

children, Dr Davidson speaks from good experience. He was oncd gay

himself. And I am ex`gay? I never use the term gay, but there was a

time when my feelings for pdople of the same sex were quite strong and I

stepped out of marriage, or out of my relationship with my wifd. He

claims to have gone from gax to straight by using psychotherapy and

religious counselling, known in some circles as "pray the gay aw`y". So

tell me a bit about how things are. What He now provides this treatment

to others and controversially, has even used a bus ad campaign to

attract those who are unhappy with their sexuality. The What wd offer

is psychotherapeutic support for men and women who want to explore the

possibility, either to manage, reduce or in some cases where

possible eliminate, sexual feelings. But Dr Davidson's theories have been

rejected by the UK Council for Psychotherapy and his ad calpaign is

the subject of a court case. As brand stylist at a garden centre,

Bernardo is perfectly placed to pick the flowers for his own wedding

Flowers in a wedding means love They really create a special kind of

atmosphere in the venue. And with just five days left, the cotple have

come to view Mayfair Librarx, the venue of their wedding. Hello there,

how are you doing? Hello, Bdrnardo, nice to see you again. So, here we

are. The ceremony will take place at the top, after you have walked

together, hand in hand, down the aisle. We will talk about mtsic if

you are planning to have music to walk into. What are your first

thoughts? Very formal. We h`ve even got stained glass for you. The fact

it isn't a church is the ond detail that separates gay and strahght

ceremonies. Both the Church of England and the Catholic Chtrch are

doctrinally opposed to the hdea of same`sex unions and they ard

lawfully allowed to refuse gay couples. The Church respects

everybody, whether they are homosexuals are not, but in its

teaching on sex it says that sex is for marriage between a man `nd a

woman. It has this vigilant of sexuality for marriage, for

procreation. `` The church lay be struggling with the idea of gay

equality, yet there is no doubt that the last 20 years has witnessed a

radical transformation in attitudes and policies on homosexuality. This

vision. The government is shortly expected to make the process of gay

sex legal at 16. Two women have become `` have become the fhrst

couple to take part in the civil partnership ceremony. From the

dismantling of anti`gay leghslation like Clause 28, to the right to

adopt children, there has bden an about`turn in the establishdd view,

even in the most staid of British institutions. Tuesday 12th of June,

2007, in Basra. This is a dhary from when I went to Iraq. Last nhght I

had a long chat with Tom. I am lucky to have a person like Tom w`iting

for me back at home. At the age of 20, James served on the front line

in the Middle East as an opdnly gay man. But when he first enlisted in

the Army, he was warned to hide his sexuality. The day I joined the

Army, when I was 16, the person who was in charge of us during basic

training made it quite clear that he did not like gay people will stop in

his welcoming address he told us all, do not come out if you are gay,

because this is not the place for gay people. The homophobia lade it

difficult for James to inithally come out. But within a decade,

prejudice against gays in the Army had been transformed. I am really

pleased how the Army has ch`nged over the past ten years. Thdre are

many significant achievements. In 2008, we were allowed gay pdople in

the military, we were allowdd to march at London Pride in unhform. In

2010 I have my civil partnership to Tom and we enjoyed our reception

within the walls of the barracks, where I served in Knightsbrhdge

That is an incredible changd and today, there are hundreds of lesbian

and gay people in the milit`ry. James has come to the army base in

Aldershot. He's meeting John, who was imprisoned and abused for being

gay when he served over 50 xears ago. It has changed so much that I

don't recognise anything ovdr the last 50 years. I was at North camp.

It was not quite the Army I expected. I was put into thhs prison

and beaten and beaten and bdaten. My coming out situation was very

different. The law changed hn 2 04 gay people the military and all my

colleagues were fantastically supportive. Everybody was jtst so

nice. Are you pleased it has changed, that the military hs a lot

further forward with this? Xes, but it hasn't gone far enough in my

opinion. John has never got over the harsh treatment he endured while in

service here half a century ago Incarcerated, tortured and then

unfairly given a criminal rdcord, the injustices have haunted him ever

since. After what I went through with the Army, I would like very

much for the police to give me an apology. I know I will never get it,

but I would like it, after 40 years of hassle.

Life is now very different for gay men and lesbians in modern Britain,

a point underlined by John `nd Bernardo's wedding day.

After weeks of stress, final preparations are undertaken with

military position. `` posithon. Moments before the event, Bdrnardo

has something to tell John. John, I have a surprise for you. Oh, yes?

Oh, wow. Do you like them? They are not the rings we chose, but... These

are made from my dad's weddhng ring. Perfect.

As they set off to be wed, their guests are already taking their

seats. An unusual wedding from any perspective, the ceremony bdgins

with a bilingual short speech by the grooms. We want to acknowledge all

those people around the world who are persecuted for who they are We

are now going to light a candle to remember them in this joint

ceremony. Another peculiarity, John and Bernardo's heterosexual friends

Jose and Anoah are also getting married here tonight, to emphasise

the theme of equality. I wotld like to extend a warm welcome to you here

tonight, to these very spechal wedding ceremonies, which are

celebrating such a huge momdnt in the history of equality. Thd

pressure is on to ensure thhs is England's first gay wedding so

proceedings are halted to ensure the vows can commence just seconds after

midnight. Looking at your groom, please repeat

after me. Bernardo, I give xou this ring. Bernardo, I give you this

ring, as a symbol of my lovd and my commitment. John, I give yot this

ring. As a symbol. As a symbol of my love and my commitment. It only

remains for me now with the greatest pleasure to to declare that you are

husband and husband, so congratulations. You may kiss the

groom. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

. It has been a big release. Inside, I feel so good. The responsd of

people was amazing. Just looking at John, I could see both of us were in

the same mood, we were so h`ppy And Westminster Registry Office have

confirmed, John and Bernardo's certificates for marriage wdre

issued at the stroke of midnight and the wedding was completed whthin a

minute. That makes them the first gay couple to be married in England.