Morecambe & Wise: Song and Dance


Morecambe & Wise: Song and Dance

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LAUGHTER

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# Anywhere... #

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Morecambe and Wise.

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Unique.

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Wa-hey!

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Irrepressible.

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# I'll be there following you around. #

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And funny.

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Very funny.

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# Come to me out of the long ago... #

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Giddy up! LAUGHTER

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Good evening,

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and welcome to this celebration of Morecambe and Wise

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at their musical best.

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Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise began life in variety,

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before eventually making it big on television.

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At their peak, they were assured, artful, cheeky and daft.

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And they entertained millions of people, year in, year out,

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throughout the '70s.

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TRADITIONAL GREEK MUSIC

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MUSIC SEGUES INTO VARIETY SHOW MUSIC

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Their act was a combination of front-of-cloth crosstalk, sketches,

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and a whole variety of musical numbers,

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much of which harked back to their touring days.

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# Red, red robin goes bob-bob-bobbing along, along

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# There'll be no more trouble when he keeps singing his old sweet song

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# Oh, wake up! Wake up, sleepy head! #

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Argh!

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More often than not,

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the duo were teamed with stars of the day.

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People like Shirley Bassey, Vanessa Redgrave

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and, I'm delighted to say, me.

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GRAND FINALE MUSIC

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LAUGHTER

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Oof, I'll go down.

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I can't get down there, I suffer with vertigo.

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-Oh, she's suffers with vertigo.

-Does she?

-That's wind, isn't it?

-No...

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-No, a fear of heights.

-Heights?

-Oh, as well?

-Heights.

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-You get down there, and I'll...

-If I could...

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I'll come down, and let you climb down.

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-I'm sorry about this.

-I can't climb down there in this dress.

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-My hand, my hand.

-Where is it?

-It's where it shouldn't be.

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I can't get down there in this dress.

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Do something with the dress, love.

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-You must do something.

-It's been specially made.

-I realise.

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LAUGHTER

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If you just climb down here.

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-I really don't like heights at all.

-No, no.

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-Don't worry.

-Can you get that leg down?

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I'll hold on to anything that...

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-Dignity at all times.

-Yes.

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Try a little... This one. No, no. Maybe...

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That's my hat.

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Oh! Oh-ho. HE GIGGLES

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Yes, lovely. Oh!

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Yes, fine. How are we doing now? Lovely. That's it.

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-Argh!

-Don't worry. There we are.

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We've got it made. I don't think... I don't...

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LAUGHTER

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Keep smiling.

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Now, go forward. Get ready.

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LAUGHTER

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-I've had enough.

-Had enough?

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Yes, I have. I'm going home. Thank you very much!

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When I first saw the script for that sketch, it said,

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"Eric and Ernie, plus Penelope, staircase."

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And I thought, that's rather strange, I wonder what that will be.

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So, when I started rehearsing, they said to me,

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I said, "What's the staircase?"

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"Oh, what we'll do is make a grand entrance.

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"You'll be in a beautiful gown, and we'll be in white tie and tails.

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"And then, when we get to the end of the staircase,

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"two of the last steps are missing."

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So, I said, "Fine."

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I was in their hands, I'd have done anything by this time.

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It wasn't until I got into the studio that I saw

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that the last two steps were, in fact, about 10 foot high.

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So, I was taken totally by surprise.

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With Eric and Ernie, the comedy was always about

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puncturing the glamour, and sending up the grand occasion.

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# So we'll walk up the avenue Yes, we'll walk up the avenue

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# And to walk up the avenue's what we like. #

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What do you think of it so far? "Rubbish!" Oh, yes?

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Everything was rehearsed terribly, terribly well, with a lot of laughs.

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I can remember standing in between Eric and Ernie

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at some point during one or two of the sketches I did.

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And Eric went forward as if I'd goosed him.

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And, of course, I laughed.

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He did that every day, every day I laughed,

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and indeed I laughed on the take as well.

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-Would you like a little drink?

-That's very kind, I'll help myself to a lager.

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LAUGHTER

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-They're all at it, you know.

-Yes.

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It may have looked as if they were making it up as they went along,

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but it took two weeks of intensive rehearsals to get a show into shape.

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Here's some rare footage of the boys rehearsing with Anita Harris.

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ERNIE HUMS ALONG TO PIANO

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# Everybody loves a baby That's why I'm in love with you

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# Pretty baby, pretty baby

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# And I'd like to be your sister, brother, dad and mother too

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# Pretty baby, pretty baby

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-# Won't you come and let me rock... #

-WORDS MUDDLED

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# And we'll cuddle all the time

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# Oh, I want a lovin' baby And it might as well be you

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# Pretty baby of mine. #

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It's hard to believe that, when Morecambe and Wise first auditioned for the BBC,

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the notes came back as follows.

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BIG BAND MUSIC

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Thank goodness they took no notice.

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Another key to the show's popularity

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was to reveal familiar faces in a new light.

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# You were never lovelier

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# Lovelier

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# Lovelier

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# Lovelier

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# Lovelier

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# Lovelier

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-(FALSETTO) #

-Lovelier!

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# All I can say is, "Wow!"

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# Wait till the riff and raff

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# See just exactly how I sign my autograph

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# What a set-up, holy cow! They'll never believe it

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# If my friends could see me now!

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# If you ever feel so happy you land in jail, I'm your bail

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# It's friendship, friendship Just a perfect blendship

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# When other friendships have been forgot

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# Ours will still be hot! #

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When Angela Rippon first stepped out from behind the desk

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on Christmas day in 1976,

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the country went bonkers.

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She had been the BBC's first female newsreader.

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She was brisk, she was professional.

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But no-one had ever seen her below the waist, let alone on the move.

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A report on the economy has just come through from number 11 Downing Street.

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The Chancellor's statement reads as follows.

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"There may be trouble ahead,

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"but while there's midnight, and music, and love, and romance!"

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MUSIC

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# Let's face the music and dance. #

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# You were meant for me

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# I was meant for you

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# Nature fashioned you And when she was done

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# You are all the sweet things rolled into one

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# Plaintive melody... #

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Ahhh!

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# That will not set me free

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# I contend the angels must have sent you

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# And they meant you just for...

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-# A!

-You're adorable

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-# B.

-But you're beautiful

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-# C!

-You're a cutie full of charms

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-# A!

-You're adorable

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-# B!

-But you're beautiful

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-# F!

-You're a feather in my arms

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-# G!

-You look good to me

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-# A!

-You're adorable

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-# B!

-But you're beautiful

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-# C!

-You're a cutie full of charm

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# It's fun to wander through the alphabet with you

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-# But what are we gonna do about him?

-Who me?

-Yes!

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-# A!

-You're adorable

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-# B!

-But you're beautiful

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-# C!

-You're a cutie full of charm

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-# J!

-You're like Jack and Jill

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-# K!

-You're so kissable

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-# A!

-You're adorable

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-# B!

-It's fun to do the alphabet with you

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-# But what are we gonna do about him?

-Hey? Oof! #

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One, two, a-one, two, three, four!

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SAMBA MUSIC

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Pea-nuuuts!

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MUSIC RESUMES AT FRANTIC PACE

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Angela Rippon's appearance opened the floodgates

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for more strait-laced presenters to join Eric and Ernie in a routine.

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# Lots of things in life are beautiful but, brother

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# There is one particular thing that is nothin' whatsoever

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# In any way, shape or form like any other.

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# Other!

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# Who said that? #

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Burt?!

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THEY WHISTLE ALONG WITH MELODY

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Eric had been nervous about this sketch.

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He couldn't see how they would make the acrobatics work.

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They seemed to have convinced some people, though,

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because Barry Norman and Richard Baker were inundated with requests

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for further demonstrations of their remarkable gymnastic skills.

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THEY CHEER

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Eric and Ernie liked playing running gags,

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and it wasn't just with well-known faces.

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They had their own roster of minor stars.

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Here was one of their favourites.

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Now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to

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one of the world's greatest harmonica players,

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Mr Arthur Tolcher!

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APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE STOPS ABRUPTLY, LAUGHTER

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HE PLAYS

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APPLAUSE

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HE RESUMES PLAYING

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APPLAUSE

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HE RESUMES PLAYING

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Great!

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Arthur Tolcher was a friend of Eric and Ernie from their variety days.

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Here's Eric with his and Arthur's mother.

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Like Eric, Arthur's mother was a driving force behind her son,

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and a memo was circulated around the BBC branding her a pest

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for constantly pushing her son forward.

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The memo said...

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To be fair to the BBC,

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they received the first letter in 1937, when Arthur was 15,

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and continued to receive them on a regular basis up until 1956.

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Sadly, his mother didn't live to see her son's prime-time success.

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Ladies and gentlemen, my latest play, Napoleon...

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HE PLAYS

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Not now, Arthur!

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Please, not now.

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Ladies and gentlemen, the very beautiful, very talented, very well-known...

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HE PLAYS

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Not now, Arthur. Not now.

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Sorry about that.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to introduce you

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-to a charming young lady, someone...

-HE PLAYS

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Not now, Arthur.

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Arthur, you're becoming a nuisance.

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Another returning guest from their variety days was Des O'Connor.

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Short for Desperate?

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ORCHESTRAL INTRODUCTION

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That is the best record Des has ever made.

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You mean there was nothing on it at all?

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MUSICAL INTRODUCTION

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# I... #

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LAUGHTER

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Originally, Frankie Vaughan was to have been the target of their humour.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's Frankie Vaughan!

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MUSICAL INTRODUCTION

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LAUGHTER

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He's too old to be Frankie Vaughan's son.

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-That's Frankie Vaughan's son, David.

-If that's his son, how old's Frankie?

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Nobody dare ask.

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It's a special request for this number.

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-By a little old lady who's deaf.

-Yes.

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LAUGHTER

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-She phoned us from New Zealand.

-Yes.

-And she said...

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Reverse charges as well!

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Would you sing Cabaret for her, good and loud?

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Well.

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I would love to do Cabaret.

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But it's impossible, I don't have an orchestration...

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I thought it was the way you walked! I'm sorry, I didn't realise that.

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I have no music, no straw hat.

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I've got a straw hat.

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Frankie, we've fixed up the music, you just leave it to us.

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Everything's fixed, don't worry about it.

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It's been a great pleasure working with you.

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MUSICAL INTRODUCTION

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THEY PLAY TUNELESSLY AND OFF BEAT

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# What good is sitting alone in your room?

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# Come hear the music play

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# Life is a cabaret, old chum

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# Come to the cabaret. #

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As a joke, Frankie had got his lawyer to send the pair a letter

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threatening to sue them if they didn't stop ridiculing him.

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Ernie took it seriously, and the duo redirected the lampoons towards Des.

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BIG BAND MUSIC

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LAUGHTER

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Props always played an enormous part in Eric and Ernie's act.

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Step forward and take a bow, special effects man Bill King.

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MUSIC

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LATIN MUSIC

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# Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. #

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LAUGHTER DROWNS SINGING

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APPLAUSE

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Sometimes, less is more.

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No set, no costumes, just three stools.

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# Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money

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# Maybe we're ragged and funny

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# But we'll travel along

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# Singing a song

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# Side by side

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# We don't know what's coming tomorrow

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# Maybe it's trouble and sorrow

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# But we'll travel the road sharing our load

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# Side by side. #

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# Through all kinds of weather

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# What if the sky should fall?

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# Just as long as we're together

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# It doesn't matter at all.

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# When they've all had their quarrels and parted

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# We'll be the same as we started

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# Just travellin' along Singin' our song

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# Side by side! #

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This next classic routine was an idea Ernie had had 12 years before.

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MUSIC: "The Stripper" by David Rose

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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One of the ways the pair involved their guests each week

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was to persuade, dupe, blackmail them

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into appearing in one of the "Plays What Ernie Wrote."

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Most of them ended on a song and dance.

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-# I really can't stay

-But, baby, it's cold outside

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-# I've got to go away

-But, baby, it's cold outside

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-# This evening has been so very nice

-I'm hoping that you'll drop in

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# I'll hold your hands They're just like ice

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-# My mother will start to worry!

-Beautiful, what's your hurry?

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# And father will be pacing the floor

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# Listen to the fireplace roar

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-# So, really, I'd better scurry!

-Beautiful, please, don't hurry

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# Well, maybe, just a half a drink more

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# Never such a blizzard before. #

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# Do you promise to forgive and to forget if I should be a bit flirtatious? #

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-What she say?

-What she say?

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# Will you try and understand if I'm a bit on the Casanova side? #

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What he say? What he say?

0:24:590:25:00

# If I go out with the boys Would you say it's full of joy

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# That a fella cannot count on from his bride? #

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Now, wait a minute.

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Can you do this without moving your lips?

0:25:080:25:10

BAG SNAPS

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LAUGHTER

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BAG SNAPS

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# Have you ever hoped to say you'll share a joint account?

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# We say the nicest things. #

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I'm surrounded by amateurs!

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# We say the nicest things! #

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APPLAUSE

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I was asked to play Roxanne in Cyrano De Bergerac.

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I'd never played it in a theatre,

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but it's a marvellous addition to my CV.

0:25:480:25:51

# Look at you

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# Look at me

0:25:530:25:55

# Wish that we could always be

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# So young

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# So gay

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# That's him today

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# Look ahead

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# Can't you see

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# What our future's going to be?

0:26:080:26:12

# Well, I'm not young

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# And he's not gay

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# To me, he'll always seem that way

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# Some day your figure is bound to spread

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# Your fallen arches will drop like lead

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# You'll find your beautiful smile has fled

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# No hair on top of your shiny head

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# Don't let the wrinkles upset you

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# I'll still be happy I met you

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# Darn it, baby, that's love

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# Some day you're gonna have chins to spare

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# Where are the muscles that once were there

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# You'll sit and rock in your rocking chair

0:26:520:26:55

# Gosh, boys but you'll be a gruesome pair

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# Though you're a physical wreck, dear

0:26:580:27:00

# I'll still be happy to neck, dear

0:27:000:27:04

# Darn it, baby, that's love!

0:27:040:27:08

-(DEEP VOICE)

-In spite the fact that

0:27:080:27:10

# Some day your memory's gonna fail

0:27:100:27:13

# You'll be exhausted when you inhale

0:27:130:27:16

# You'll need bifocals to read the mail

0:27:160:27:19

# I'll find your jokes just a wee bit stale

0:27:190:27:23

# Though you may look like December

0:27:230:27:26

# It's May, I'm gonna remember

0:27:260:27:29

# You will always be my turtle dove

0:27:290:27:34

# It's me for you

0:27:340:27:36

# And you for me

0:27:360:27:38

# Collecting social security

0:27:380:27:40

-# Mush!

-Darn it, baby, that's

0:27:400:27:43

-# Mush!

-Darn it, baby, that's

0:27:430:27:45

# Hold!

0:27:450:27:46

# Darn it, baby, that's love. #

0:27:460:27:52

MUSIC STUTTERS TO AN END

0:27:560:28:03

APPLAUSE

0:28:110:28:12

Some of the biggest names in music were also happy

0:28:140:28:17

to be humiliated by Eric and Ernie.

0:28:170:28:19

Even Elephant John.

0:28:190:28:21

We'll do something else. I know, we'll do the counter melody.

0:28:210:28:24

-That's a good one.

-You know that? # Won't you play a simple melody. #

0:28:240:28:28

-Oh, yeah, my mother's favourite, that.

-Is it really?

0:28:280:28:31

If she was out there, there'd be tears in her eye.

0:28:310:28:33

-Why?

-She can't stand me. LAUGHTER

0:28:330:28:37

This is the novel idea. You sing -

0:28:370:28:39

# Won't you play a simple melody. #

0:28:390:28:43

I sing that, I sing that.

0:28:430:28:44

While you sing that, I sing -

0:28:440:28:46

# Musical demon Set your honey a-dreamin'

0:28:460:28:48

# Won't you play me some rag? #

0:28:480:28:50

-OK?

-Yeah.

-You start. Don't you know the other one?

0:28:500:28:52

LAUGHTER

0:28:520:28:54

-Yes! I know them both.

-He knows them both.

0:28:540:28:58

But you're going to... You're going to start with the melody,

0:28:580:29:00

-and I'm going to do the counter melody.

-I start?

-Yeah.

0:29:000:29:03

So, it's - (HESITANTLY) # Won't... Won't...

0:29:030:29:06

LAUGHTER

0:29:060:29:07

Just a moment.

0:29:070:29:09

IMITATES A TUNING FORK

0:29:090:29:11

# Won't...

0:29:110:29:12

ELTON PLAYS A NOTE

0:29:120:29:13

That's close, that's close.

0:29:130:29:15

(TUNELESSLY) # Won't... you play a simple -

0:29:150:29:18

-BOTH:

-# Musical demon Set your honey a-dreamin'... #

0:29:180:29:20

No, no!

0:29:200:29:22

Hold it, son, hold it.

0:29:220:29:24

LAUGHTER

0:29:240:29:25

-You sing -

-BOTH: # Won't you play a simple -

0:29:250:29:29

BOTH: # Musical demon Set your honey a-dreamin'...

0:29:290:29:31

-No, no!

-Hold it, hold it, son. You're starting to annoy me.

0:29:310:29:36

BOTH: # Won't you play a simple

0:29:360:29:39

# Musical demon... # Hold it, son!

0:29:390:29:42

# Won't you play a simp... Won't... Mu...

0:29:420:29:45

# Won't you... come home, Bill Bailey Won't you come home. #

0:29:450:29:49

Hold it! Hold it!

0:29:490:29:53

-Can I make a suggestion, can I make a suggestion?

-Yes!

-Oh, good.

0:29:530:29:57

-Come around, Hilton.

-What Mr Wise was trying to tell you...

-Who?

-Mr Wise.

0:29:570:30:03

-He respects me!

-Mr Wise.

-It's age!

0:30:030:30:06

You sing your first bit, right?

0:30:060:30:09

Which is, # Won't... # That bit.

0:30:090:30:12

-And you keep going and let him carry the counter-melody.

-Yeah.

0:30:120:30:15

-Cos you're singing his bit at the moment.

-Yeah.

0:30:150:30:17

So, we'll go through it, and you just sing your bit, right?

0:30:170:30:20

-You got me?

-Yes!

0:30:200:30:22

Right, so, here we go. Right?

0:30:230:30:26

ALL: # Won't you play a simple mel...

0:30:260:30:30

-# Musical demon... #

-No!

0:30:300:30:33

Hold it, son, hold it.

0:30:340:30:35

Now, it's not very difficult.

0:30:390:30:41

All you have to do is keep to your own bit.

0:30:410:30:44

-Keep to my own bit.

-Just keep to it. Ignore him.

-Ignore me. Mr Wise.

0:30:440:30:48

Right. Here we go, right?

0:30:480:30:51

# Won't you play a simple...

0:30:520:30:55

# Musical demon... #

0:30:550:30:57

No!

0:30:570:30:59

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:30:590:31:02

What I am telling you is it's...

0:31:080:31:11

# Won't you play a simple me-lo-dy. #

0:31:110:31:16

And not, # Musical demon, set your honey a-dreaming. #

0:31:160:31:19

God! I'm not used to working under these circumstances.

0:31:190:31:24

Appearing on Eric and Ernie's show

0:31:240:31:26

wasn't always the greatest platform

0:31:260:31:29

for guests to showcase their latest hits.

0:31:290:31:32

# Sweet dreams, baby

0:31:320:31:35

# Dream, baby, sweet dreams, baby

0:31:350:31:38

# Sweet dreams, baby

0:31:380:31:41

# Dream, baby, sweet dreams, baby

0:31:410:31:43

# Sweet dreams, baby

0:31:430:31:46

# Dream, baby, sweet dreams, baby

0:31:460:31:49

# How long must I dream?

0:31:490:31:54

# Dream, baby, got me dreaming sweet dreams the whole day

0:31:560:32:00

# Dream, baby, got me dreaming sweet dreams the whole damn day... #

0:32:000:32:03

LAUGHTER DROWNS MUSIC

0:32:030:32:07

# Dreaming of you... #

0:32:070:32:11

Take a listen to this.

0:32:110:32:14

# Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay

0:32:140:32:16

# Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay

0:32:160:32:19

# Well, just because I... #

0:32:190:32:21

Does it sound familiar?

0:32:210:32:22

It's Helen Shapiro's Don't Treat Me Like A Child.

0:32:220:32:26

And those backing vocals

0:32:260:32:28

inspired one of Eric and Ernie's most famous sketches.

0:32:280:32:31

# Yay, yay, yay

0:32:390:32:42

-# I know why I've waited

-Yay, yay, yay

0:32:420:32:45

-# Know why I've been blue

-Yay, yay, yay

0:32:450:32:47

-# Wait each night for someone

-Yay, yay, yay

0:32:470:32:49

-# Exactly like you

-Yay, yay, yay, yay

0:32:490:32:52

-# Why should we spend money

-Yay, yay, yay

0:32:520:32:54

-# On a show or two?

-Yay, yay, yay

0:32:540:32:57

-# No-one plays those love scenes

-Yay, yay, yay

0:32:570:33:00

-# Exactly like you

-Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay

0:33:000:33:02

# You make me feel so glad

0:33:040:33:06

# I want to hand the world to you

0:33:060:33:09

# You seem to understand

0:33:090:33:11

# Each foolish little dream that I'm dreaming

0:33:110:33:14

# Scheme that I'm scheming

0:33:140:33:15

# Dream that I'm dreaming Scheme that I'm scheming

0:33:150:33:17

# Now I know why mother

0:33:170:33:20

# Taught me to be true

0:33:200:33:22

# She'd want me for someone

0:33:220:33:24

-# Exactly like you

-Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay

0:33:240:33:28

# Exactly like you

0:33:280:33:30

# You make me feel so glad

0:33:300:33:31

# I want to hand the world to you

0:33:310:33:34

# You seem to understand

0:33:340:33:36

# Each foolish little dream that I'm dreaming

0:33:360:33:39

# Scheme that I'm scheming

0:33:390:33:40

# Dream that I'm dreaming Scheme that I'm scheming

0:33:400:33:43

-# Now I know why mother

-Yay, yay, yay

0:33:430:33:45

-# Taught me to be true

-Yay, yay, yay

0:33:450:33:48

# She meant me for someone Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

0:33:480:33:52

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly like you

0:33:520:33:57

# Exactly like you

0:33:570:33:59

-# Exactly like you

-Yaaaaaay

0:33:590:34:03

# Yay, yay, yay. #

0:34:030:34:06

If they weren't backing singers, they were backing dancers.

0:34:060:34:10

# Got together a new kind of orchestra

0:34:100:34:13

# And we all played just the same goofus harmony

0:34:130:34:16

# And I must admit We made a hit

0:34:160:34:19

# Goofus has been lucky for me. #

0:34:190:34:22

# I'd tell the whole darn world

0:34:220:34:24

# If you don't happen to like it

0:34:240:34:26

# Deal me out

0:34:260:34:28

# Thank you kindly, pass me by

0:34:280:34:30

# Pass me by, pass me by

0:34:300:34:34

# If you don't happen to like it Pass me by. #

0:34:340:34:37

# The minute you walked in the joint

0:34:450:34:48

# I could see you were a man of distinction

0:34:480:34:51

# A real big spender

0:34:510:34:53

# Good looking, so refined

0:34:530:34:57

# Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind?

0:34:570:35:02

# So let me get right to the point

0:35:020:35:04

# I won't pop my cork for every guy I see

0:35:040:35:09

# Hey, big spender

0:35:090:35:12

# Spend a little time with me. #

0:35:130:35:18

Another favourite trick of theirs was to masquerade as scenery men.

0:35:210:35:26

# They asked me how I know

0:35:280:35:31

# My true love was true

0:35:310:35:34

# I of course replied

0:35:390:35:41

# Something deep inside

0:35:410:35:44

# Cannot be denied

0:35:440:35:47

# They said some day you'll find

0:35:520:35:57

# All who love are blind

0:35:570:36:01

# When your heart's on fire

0:36:050:36:08

# You must realise

0:36:080:36:11

# Smoke gets in your eyes

0:36:110:36:14

# So I chaffed them and I gaily laughed

0:36:200:36:25

# To think they could doubt my love... #

0:36:250:36:29

LAUGHTER DROWNS MUSIC

0:36:290:36:33

# Yet today my love has flown away... #

0:36:330:36:37

LAUGHTER DROWNS MUSIC

0:36:370:36:41

# Now, laughing friends deride

0:36:460:36:51

# Tears I cannot hide

0:36:510:36:57

# So I smile and say

0:36:570:37:00

# When a lovely flame dies

0:37:000:37:03

# Smoke gets in your eyes

0:37:030:37:08

# So I... #

0:37:120:37:14

LAUGHTER DROWNS MUSIC

0:37:140:37:17

# To think that they could doubt my love

0:37:170:37:24

# Today my love has flown away

0:37:240:37:31

# I am without my love

0:37:310:37:37

# Now laughing friends deride

0:37:390:37:43

# Tears I cannot hide

0:37:430:37:47

# So I smile and say

0:37:500:37:53

# When a lovely flame dies

0:37:530:37:57

# Smoke gets in your eyes. #

0:37:570:38:01

# Like a clock Whose hands are sweeping

0:38:130:38:16

# Past the minutes of his face LAUGHTER

0:38:160:38:18

# And the world is like an apple Whirling silently in space

0:38:180:38:24

# Like circles that you find

0:38:240:38:27

# In the windmills of your mind CLANGING

0:38:270:38:30

# Like a tunnel that you follow To a tunnel of its own

0:38:300:38:35

# Down a hollow to a cavern Where the sun has never shone

0:38:350:38:40

# Like a door that keeps revolving In a half forgotten dream

0:38:400:38:45

# Or the ripples from a pebble Someone tosses in a stream

0:38:450:38:50

# Like a clock whose hands are sweeping

0:38:500:38:53

# Past the minutes of its face

0:38:530:38:56

# And the world is like an apple Whirling silently in space

0:38:560:39:01

# Like the circles that you find... # CLANGING

0:39:010:39:04

# In the windmills of your mind... # LOUD CREAKING

0:39:040:39:08

# Like a circle, then a spiral

0:39:090:39:11

# Like a wheel within a wheel

0:39:110:39:14

# Never ending or beginning

0:39:140:39:17

# On an ever spinning reel

0:39:170:39:21

# As the images unwind Like the circles that you find

0:39:210:39:27

# In the windmills of your mind. #

0:39:270:39:35

APPLAUSE

0:39:460:39:48

A Morecambe and Wise dance routine often paid homage to the golden age of the Hollywood musical.

0:39:480:39:53

Both Eric and Ernie were experience dancers,

0:39:530:39:57

and although some of their co-hoofers weren't regulars on the dance floor,

0:39:570:40:01

they managed to pull it off with panache.

0:40:010:40:04

# There may be trouble ahead

0:40:080:40:11

# Ahh, ahh

0:40:110:40:13

# But while there's moonlight and music and love and romance

0:40:130:40:20

# Let's face the music and dance

0:40:220:40:25

# There may be teardrops to shed

0:40:300:40:34

# Aaah, aaah

0:40:340:40:36

# So while there's moonlight and music and love and romance

0:40:360:40:42

# Let's face the music and dance

0:40:440:40:48

# I wont dance. #

0:40:500:40:51

-She won't dance!

-Don't ask her!

0:40:510:40:53

-# I won't dance! #

-She won't dance!

-Don't ask her!

0:40:530:40:56

-# I won't dance! #

-She won't dance!

0:40:560:40:58

# Madam, with you

0:40:580:41:00

# My heart won't let my feet do things they should do

0:41:000:41:04

-# You know what?

-Know what?

0:41:070:41:09

-# I'm lovely

-And so what?

0:41:090:41:11

-# So what?

-I'm lovely

0:41:110:41:13

-# You know what?

-No, what?

0:41:130:41:15

# You do to me

0:41:150:41:17

# I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore

0:41:170:41:21

# Must you dance?

0:41:230:41:25

# Every dance?

0:41:250:41:28

# With the same fortunate man?

0:41:280:41:33

# You have danced with him since the music began

0:41:330:41:39

# Won't you change partners

0:41:390:41:42

# And dance with me?

0:41:420:41:44

# Won't you dance Quite so close

0:41:460:41:50

# With your lips Touching his face

0:41:500:41:55

# Won't you change partners and dance with me?

0:41:550:42:01

# You may never want to Change partners again. #

0:42:010:42:05

By 1976, expectations of the Morecambe and Wise Christmas shows were running so high

0:42:250:42:31

that the strain was beginning to take it's toll on Eric's health.

0:42:310:42:35

So, for this sketch, Eric took things at a slower pace

0:42:350:42:39

while Ernie was the one on the move. And what a mover!

0:42:390:42:44

# I'm singin' in the rain

0:42:550:43:00

# Just singin' in the rain

0:43:000:43:03

# What a glorious feeling

0:43:030:43:06

# I'm happy again

0:43:060:43:10

# I'm laughin' at clouds

0:43:100:43:13

# So dark up above

0:43:130:43:18

# The sun's in my heart

0:43:180:43:20

# And I'm ready for love

0:43:200:43:23

# Let the stormy clouds chase

0:43:230:43:27

# Everyone from the place

0:43:270:43:30

# Come on with the rain

0:43:310:43:34

# I've a smile on my face

0:43:340:43:37

# I walk down the lane

0:43:370:43:40

# With a happy refrain

0:43:400:43:44

# I'm singin' Just singin' in the rain

0:43:440:43:49

# I'm dancin' in the rain

0:43:520:43:54

# Da-da-da, da-da-da

0:43:540:43:57

# Dee-da-da, da-da-dee-da

0:43:570:44:02

# I'm happy again

0:44:020:44:05

# I walk down the lane

0:44:050:44:08

# With a happy refrain

0:44:080:44:11

# Just singing and dancing in the rain. #

0:44:110:44:16

I'm wet through!

0:44:350:44:38

Have you seen what you've done to me? I'm wet through!

0:44:380:44:40

You! I'm wet through, I am. That's not nice.

0:44:400:44:44

I'm wet through, folks.

0:44:440:44:46

# Just singing and dancing in the rain. #

0:44:460:44:51

The tap dance at the beginning of this next number was an old routine

0:45:090:45:12

they used to do in their variety days, called Yankee Doodle Dandy.

0:45:120:45:16

It was the only tap dance they knew and they got it down to a fine art.

0:45:160:45:21

What are you playing at?

0:47:540:47:56

I mean, let's face it, he's half a star, aren't you?

0:47:560:47:59

Yes, I'm half a st...

0:47:590:48:03

Pushing us off!

0:48:030:48:04

According to Eric, that number had to be done in one

0:48:050:48:08

take, otherwise they had to start again,

0:48:080:48:11

which is why they kept in the unrehearsed fall during the fight.

0:48:110:48:15

Please, please, please!

0:48:180:48:20

We're in the middle of our dance routine...

0:48:200:48:23

Please, pull yourselves together!

0:48:230:48:25

Get in a line, get in line! Go on.

0:48:250:48:27

-Wait!

-One, two...

0:48:280:48:31

One of Morecambe and Wise's most famous sketches had had

0:48:360:48:39

a dry run way back in the 1960s.

0:48:390:48:42

MUSIC: "Piano Concerto" by Grieg

0:48:420:48:46

-I say!

-Yes?

0:48:480:48:49

What are you doing there?

0:48:490:48:51

I was going to play the piano.

0:48:510:48:52

Well, you should, I cued you in to play the piano.

0:48:520:48:55

You see, the point is, there's not enough introduction music.

0:48:550:48:58

-Do you follow my meaning?

-What do you mean?

0:48:580:49:00

Well, I'm not getting there in time with the introduction.

0:49:000:49:02

You see, what's happening, it's going, "La-ta-ta-ta...

0:49:020:49:06

"ta-ta-ta..."

0:49:060:49:09

-And I'm only getting here.

-Oh, I see.

0:49:090:49:11

Really, I should be here.

0:49:110:49:13

Yes, yes.

0:49:130:49:14

So...

0:49:140:49:15

..the introduction music is about that much too short.

0:49:170:49:20

-Oh, is it?!

-Yeah.

0:49:200:49:22

But it was the added ingredient of having one of the world's most

0:49:220:49:25

respected conductors, Andre Previn, that took the sketch to new heights.

0:49:250:49:31

At the time, Previn was so busy he famously had to

0:49:310:49:34

learn his lines in the taxi on the way to the studios.

0:49:340:49:37

The lack of rehearsal made Eric so nervous he asked Ernie

0:49:370:49:41

if he'd play the conducting role as he had years before.

0:49:410:49:45

Luckily he didn't get his way.

0:49:450:49:47

This is the moment when Eric realises it's going to be OK.

0:49:470:49:52

Good night, gentlemen.

0:49:520:49:53

-Please don't go.

-What's the matter with him?

0:49:530:49:55

Don't go, Mr Preview...

0:49:550:49:57

-Privet!

-Previn.

0:49:570:50:00

I can assure you that Eric is more than capable.

0:50:000:50:02

Well, all right, I'll go and get my baton.

0:50:020:50:05

-Please do that.

-Yes, it's in Chicago.

0:50:050:50:07

Is it?

0:50:070:50:08

Wow, he's in, I like him!

0:50:100:50:13

Eric gave Previn two pieces of advice before filming this...

0:50:130:50:18

Only thing is, he forgot to tell the orchestra.

0:50:240:50:27

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, Grieg's Piano Concerto by Grieg...

0:50:270:50:30

LAUGHTER

0:50:300:50:32

..Soloist, Mr Eric Morecambe,

0:50:330:50:35

conducted by Mr Andre Previn. Thank you.

0:50:350:50:37

MAN LAUGHS

0:50:530:50:56

What's the matter?

0:51:000:51:01

What's wrong? What happened?

0:51:030:51:05

It's the introduction.

0:51:050:51:06

The introduction's wrong?

0:51:060:51:08

It's too short.

0:51:080:51:10

-It's too short?!

-Oh, you noticed?

0:51:100:51:12

Yes! By how much is it too short?

0:51:120:51:15

Well, you see, I went down here like that.

0:51:150:51:17

Yes. You wasted some time there!

0:51:170:51:19

I wasted time there, yes.

0:51:190:51:21

You see, it's about, I would say about that much.

0:51:210:51:25

-It's about a yard.

-About a yard.

0:51:270:51:29

Yes, if you could lengthen it by about a yard, we'll be in.

0:51:290:51:32

And...what do you think we can do about that?

0:51:320:51:34

Oh, well...

0:51:340:51:35

That's nothing to do with me.

0:51:350:51:37

My musical manager does all this.

0:51:370:51:38

Could we get in touch with Grieg?

0:51:380:51:40

That's a good idea.

0:51:400:51:41

You mean, call him on the phone?

0:51:420:51:43

Well, why not?

0:51:430:51:45

What a shame I didn't bring his phone number.

0:51:450:51:47

It's Norway something or other, isn't it?

0:51:470:51:49

What's the code?

0:51:490:51:51

Fingal's Cave.

0:51:510:51:52

I think it's Fingal's Cave.

0:51:520:51:54

Mind you, you might not get him, he could be out skiing.

0:51:540:51:57

Look, look, could we just try it again?

0:51:570:51:59

I'll tell you what, this time I'll sit down there waiting.

0:51:590:52:02

What a good thought.

0:52:020:52:03

-Hey!

-You'd be ready.

0:52:030:52:04

He's in, isn't he? I like him. Oh, yes!

0:52:040:52:06

-I'll announce it again.

-Do that.

0:52:060:52:08

All right, ladies and gentlemen, Grieg's Piano Concerto,

0:52:080:52:10

soloist Eric Morecambe, conductor Mr Andrew Preview.

0:52:100:52:13

DRUM ROLLS

0:52:130:52:16

Any time!

0:52:320:52:34

Could I have a word with you, please?

0:52:340:52:36

I'm sorry, I'm terribly sorry.

0:52:360:52:38

Look, you see, the point is, it's one of those things...

0:52:380:52:42

Has he gone?

0:52:420:52:43

Oh, there you are.

0:52:430:52:45

-You see, I hope you don't mind me saying this...

-No.

0:52:460:52:49

..but when you got to the part which was my cue, I couldn't see you

0:52:490:52:53

for the lid of the piano.

0:52:530:52:54

-Yes.

-The lid of the piano was in the way?

0:52:540:52:56

-Was it?

-Yes.

0:52:560:52:58

It was the lid of the piano.

0:52:580:53:00

I don't know what we can do about that.

0:53:000:53:02

He wants to be taller, doesn't he?

0:53:020:53:04

Could you wear high heels?

0:53:040:53:06

Again?

0:53:060:53:07

No, you don't have to, you know.

0:53:070:53:09

I don't know what we can do about that.

0:53:090:53:11

Well, I have a suggestion.

0:53:110:53:12

Would you jump up in the air?

0:53:130:53:16

So I can see you over the lid of the piano?

0:53:160:53:20

You want me to actually jump into the air on the rostrum

0:53:200:53:24

in order so you can see my cue?

0:53:240:53:26

Yes, I mean, if you'd do that for me?

0:53:260:53:29

Yes, I'll do that for you.

0:53:290:53:31

-I'll announce it again.

-Yes, nice man, isn't he?

0:53:320:53:35

-Isn't he charming?

-I like him.

0:53:350:53:37

Grieg by... With him and him.

0:53:370:53:40

OPENING BARS OF CONCERTO

0:53:400:53:42

Great!

0:53:440:53:46

ERIC PLAYS WRONG TUNE

0:53:460:53:47

Something wrong with the violins?

0:54:120:54:14

No, there's nothing wrong with the violins.

0:54:160:54:18

That's only your opinion.

0:54:180:54:20

What were you playing just then?

0:54:200:54:23

The Grieg Piano Concerto.

0:54:240:54:26

But...

0:54:270:54:29

..you're playing all the wrong notes.

0:54:310:54:34

I'm playing all the right notes.

0:54:460:54:48

But not necessarily in the right order.

0:54:500:54:52

I'll give you that.

0:54:560:54:57

I'll give you that, sunshine.

0:54:570:54:59

That sounded quite reasonable to me.

0:55:050:55:08

Are you satisfied, Mr Preview?

0:55:080:55:11

-No!

-No?

0:55:110:55:12

What do you mean, no?

0:55:120:55:15

-I am not satisfied.

-Why not?

0:55:150:55:17

Look here, with all due... Would you mind, just one second?

0:55:170:55:20

Don't forget, for another four pounds we could have got Edward Heath!

0:55:200:55:23

HE PLAYS GRIEG PIANO CONCERTO

0:55:270:55:30

Rubbish!

0:55:490:55:52

PLAYING ERIC'S TUNE

0:55:530:55:55

That's it!

0:55:550:55:56

That's us got it. Come on!

0:55:560:55:58

Wonderful stuff.

0:56:030:56:05

So we've reached the end of this celebration of the song

0:56:050:56:09

and dance of Morecambe and Wise.

0:56:090:56:11

There's really only one thing left to do. Here's a clue.

0:56:110:56:15

Remind you of anything?

0:56:190:56:20

No? It was Eric and Ernie's homage to the Marx Brothers.

0:56:200:56:25

The song that accompanied that iconic dance began life in 1966.

0:56:250:56:31

It was written by a couple of New Yorkers, Arthur Kent and Sylvia Dee.

0:56:310:56:35

It was a sweet, some might say forgettable, little piece.

0:56:350:56:39

But it attracted Eric and Ernie

0:56:390:56:42

because Mrs Morecambe's pet name for her son was "Sunshine".

0:56:420:56:47

Good night.

0:56:470:56:48

# Bring me Sunshine, in your smile

0:56:520:56:57

# Bring me laughter all the while. #

0:56:570:57:01

You said we were finishing with that one!

0:57:010:57:03

# In this world where we live

0:57:030:57:05

# There should be more happiness

0:57:050:57:07

# So much joy you can give

0:57:070:57:09

# To each brand-new bright tomorrow

0:57:090:57:12

# Make me happy, through the years

0:57:120:57:17

# Never bring me any tears... #

0:57:170:57:21

-What do you think of it so far?

-Rubbish!

0:57:210:57:24

# Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above

0:57:240:57:27

# Bring me fun, bring me sunshine Bring me love

0:57:290:57:35

# Bring me sunshine in your smile

0:57:360:57:41

# Bring me laughter

0:57:410:57:43

# All the while

0:57:430:57:47

# Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above

0:57:470:57:52

# Bring me fun

0:57:520:57:54

# Bring me sunshine Bring me love. #

0:57:540:57:58

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