Brother Dinesh Asian Provocateur


Brother Dinesh

Similar Content

Browse content similar to Brother Dinesh. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

I always wanted to go to America with you to see the family.

0:00:020:00:06

This programme contains strong language

0:00:060:00:07

It's going to be shit.

0:00:080:00:10

I am going on a trip of a lifetime.

0:00:130:00:15

Except I've got to take my mum.

0:00:150:00:17

This trip is about getting to know the part of my family who ended up

0:00:200:00:23

settling in North America.

0:00:230:00:24

Seeing what my life might have been like

0:00:260:00:29

if my mum and dad hadn't selected the delights of Crawley.

0:00:290:00:32

Oh, my God! Oh, shit!

0:00:320:00:34

Last time I went to Sri Lanka, I did what my mum told me to do,

0:00:350:00:38

but this time we're doing what I want to do.

0:00:380:00:40

Yes!

0:00:400:00:41

-Do you feel like you're in control?

-No.

0:00:430:00:45

There's no more mad religious ceremonies.

0:00:450:00:47

HE NEIGHS

0:00:470:00:48

There's no more me getting beaten up.

0:00:480:00:50

There's no more me falling victim to family pressure.

0:00:530:00:55

Would you prefer that your mother was not on this trip?

0:00:550:00:59

This time, I'm in charge,

0:01:010:01:02

we're doing what I want to do on this trip.

0:01:020:01:04

I mean, obviously, I haven't actually told my mum that.

0:01:070:01:10

I'm the Asian provocateur.

0:01:100:01:11

Who the hell am I, then?

0:01:110:01:12

Asian provocateur's mum.

0:01:120:01:14

Oh, my God.

0:01:140:01:15

Jesus! Oh, fucking hell, mate.

0:01:150:01:18

Shut up.

0:01:180:01:19

Are you, um, are you looking forward to the Deep South?

0:01:250:01:28

I am. I am. You know Dinesh is coming as well?

0:01:280:01:32

Why is Dinesh coming?

0:01:320:01:33

I thought he has got a lot of good ideas.

0:01:330:01:37

A lot... What you mean he's got a lot of good ideas?

0:01:370:01:39

Just to do something with you

0:01:390:01:41

-and...

-He's always talking about the Deep South, Dinesh.

0:01:410:01:45

He can never stop talking about it.

0:01:450:01:46

-But...

-All he talks about is his ideas

0:01:460:01:48

about what to do in the Deep South.

0:01:480:01:50

I can't... Ever since we were kids, it's all he's talked about.

0:01:500:01:52

I think he was thinking about writing a book about it.

0:01:520:01:54

-He's your brother, for God's sake.

-No, I know, I know.

0:01:540:01:57

-And that's totally cool.

-If it bothers you that much...

0:01:570:02:00

It doesn't bother me.

0:02:000:02:01

-It does bother you.

-It doesn't bother me.

0:02:010:02:03

You don't believe in him, you don't believe...

0:02:030:02:05

I do believe in him, he does exist, he's not Santa.

0:02:050:02:07

This week, we're sort of heading all over the Deep South.

0:02:090:02:12

We are starting in New Orleans.

0:02:120:02:14

And this is where we meet my brother, my younger brother Dinesh.

0:02:140:02:18

Dinesh is...

0:02:200:02:22

He's younger, better looking, slimmer.

0:02:220:02:26

He's more fun to be around.

0:02:280:02:30

And the problem is that my mum finds me disappointing when I'm on my own.

0:02:320:02:36

When you put me in context with somebody who's better,

0:02:360:02:39

that makes me look really bad.

0:02:390:02:41

Why are we here?

0:02:440:02:46

-This restaurant?

-Yeah.

0:02:460:02:47

It was on the Kardashians.

0:02:470:02:49

-Huh?

-It was on the Kardashians.

-This one?

-Well, that's the first...

0:02:490:02:53

most excited you've been on the whole trip, mentioning

0:02:530:02:55

-the Kardashians.

-Yes, I watched the programme.

0:02:550:02:57

Is there anything wrong with that?

0:02:570:02:58

So we're here because of Kim Kardashian?

0:02:580:03:00

Well, actually because it's known for the beignets

0:03:000:03:03

and beignets are like a speciality in New Orleans.

0:03:030:03:06

How do you know all this shit?

0:03:060:03:07

When we go somewhere, do you not research it?

0:03:070:03:10

-No.

-No? Oh, Mum, that's St Louis Cathedral, by the way.

0:03:100:03:14

-Oh.

-It's the oldest consistently running cathedral in the US.

0:03:140:03:19

That's a nice little fact to end the conversation with, isn't it?

0:03:210:03:24

When we were younger

0:03:260:03:28

and we used to fight all the time and wrestle and that

0:03:280:03:30

and watch the wrestling...

0:03:300:03:32

-Yeah?

-You don't fancy doing something like that?

0:03:320:03:34

With wrestling, it sort of depends on how legitimate it is.

0:03:340:03:37

Why has it got to be legitimate?

0:03:370:03:38

What I'm saying is, I don't want to be wrestling you and then I look up

0:03:380:03:41

and there's two hillbillies cracking one off.

0:03:410:03:44

No, I don't want that either.

0:03:450:03:47

So today, Din set up this pro wrestling training

0:03:490:03:53

and Mum's just going to leave us to it.

0:03:530:03:55

I'm indifferent to wrestling.

0:03:550:03:56

If people are into it, that's fine. But I don't understand the appeal.

0:03:560:03:59

You know? It's fake.

0:03:590:04:01

And it pretends to be real.

0:04:030:04:05

Are you going to tell them that when you get in there?

0:04:050:04:07

Abso... Of course I'm not. Of course I'm not.

0:04:070:04:12

-How are you guys doing?

-Hello.

-Hello, mate.

-How are you doing?

0:04:120:04:14

-Romesh.

-Welcome.

-Dinesh.

-Welcome to Wildcats.

0:04:140:04:16

-I'm Ben.

-Nice to meet you, man.

0:04:160:04:18

So we're going to run you through a regular training practice

0:04:180:04:20

and then tonight, later on, you're going to have the opportunity

0:04:200:04:23

to step inside the ring and wrestle

0:04:230:04:24

your first-ever professional wrestling match.

0:04:240:04:26

You know, it's weird, isn't it?

0:04:260:04:27

The first activity, we're doing something

0:04:270:04:29

that he's going to be infinitely better than me at.

0:04:290:04:32

Sort of interesting how that's panned out.

0:04:320:04:34

You are such a dick, mate.

0:04:340:04:36

You'll be fine, mate, trust me.

0:04:360:04:37

But apparently it's not to highlight the obvious differences

0:04:370:04:40

between myself and my brother.

0:04:400:04:43

Oh, look who finally decided to join us.

0:04:430:04:46

-Where have you all been?

-You see what they're doing?

-Erm...

0:04:460:04:48

Well, why are you not following?

0:04:480:04:50

Let's go! Hustle!

0:04:500:04:52

Come on, big man, move it.

0:04:530:04:54

What the shit? Fuck off, mate.

0:04:560:04:58

One, two,

0:04:580:05:00

three, four.

0:05:000:05:01

Oh, God.

0:05:040:05:06

It's one of the worst things in living memory that I've done.

0:05:060:05:09

Move! Move! Move!

0:05:090:05:11

Where are we going?

0:05:110:05:13

Come on. Up. Down.

0:05:130:05:15

Don't stop. What are you stopping for?

0:05:150:05:17

Ah! 'Dinesh lapped me.'

0:05:190:05:22

You prick. 'I wouldn't have done that to him.'

0:05:220:05:24

Let's go, fat boy, come on.

0:05:240:05:26

Oh, shit.

0:05:260:05:27

Ow!

0:05:280:05:29

Looked like a lazy sack of shit, let's do it again.

0:05:290:05:32

That's pretty harsh, mate.

0:05:320:05:34

What if that was my special move, lazy sack of shit?

0:05:340:05:36

-I don't think you're taking this serious.

-I am, I'm sorry.

0:05:360:05:38

I'm taking it seriously. I'm taking it very seriously.

0:05:380:05:40

Do you want to run another 15 laps?

0:05:400:05:43

And then we can do this again over and over again?

0:05:430:05:44

-No.

-Then I suggest you stop running your fucking mouth

0:05:440:05:48

and start running your body backwards over in a flip.

0:05:480:05:51

-Ah!

-Can I go to the toilet quickly, please?

0:05:530:05:56

-What's wrong?

-Nothing,

0:05:570:05:59

I need to step out for a second.

0:05:590:06:02

He just doesn't want it.

0:06:020:06:04

How are you feeling, man? You all right?

0:06:090:06:12

-You all right?

-No. I'm not all right.

0:06:140:06:16

What's wrong? What happened?

0:06:160:06:18

Just proper knackered?

0:06:210:06:22

It's like fucking just going right back to fucking being at school,

0:06:240:06:27

not being able to do anything. It's just fucking shit.

0:06:270:06:30

I don't expect you to be able to fucking understand,

0:06:300:06:32

you're mastering it all.

0:06:320:06:33

Do you want me to ask him, like, how many moves...?

0:06:350:06:38

How can I help you feel a bit better about it?

0:06:380:06:41

Why don't you go and continue your fast-track

0:06:410:06:43

to the fucking Professional Wrestling Federation

0:06:430:06:45

and I'll just sit here? DINESH CHUCKLES

0:06:450:06:47

I think that's the best option.

0:06:470:06:49

Well, have a break and think about it and then we'll see how you feel

0:06:490:06:53

-and we'll have another crack at it.

-Sure, fine.

-Yeah, deal?

-Fine.

-Yeah?

0:06:530:06:56

-Fine.

-Let me speak to him.

0:06:560:06:58

-CREW MEMBER:

-I think you're actually being really hard on yourself.

0:07:000:07:03

I nearly hurt myself three times, and that was without an opponent.

0:07:030:07:08

Do you understand the level of shit you'd have to be?

0:07:080:07:11

I'm nought and one and I've not fought anyone.

0:07:110:07:14

So what were we going to do next

0:07:150:07:17

is we're going to take you guys backstage.

0:07:170:07:19

We've got some great gear for you guys to wear later tonight.

0:07:190:07:22

So how is this going to work tonight?

0:07:220:07:24

Like, are we fighting each other, or what?

0:07:240:07:26

Oh, no, you guys are going to tag up.

0:07:260:07:28

So it's going to be you two versus two of our most experienced guys.

0:07:280:07:32

So what's your plan for tonight, then?

0:07:350:07:37

Let's just say, Dinesh lapping me has not been forgotten.

0:07:370:07:41

So you're going to get revenge?

0:07:460:07:47

I'm not saying that, I'm just saying

0:07:490:07:51

that Dinesh lapping me has not been forgotten.

0:07:510:07:54

Why couldn't you leave that as an enigmatic ending to this bit?

0:07:540:07:57

YELLING

0:07:570:07:58

-No, no, no. Go on.

-What the fuck?

-Go on, go on, go on.

0:08:180:08:21

APPLAUSE

0:08:280:08:30

That's it, I'm going, mate.

0:08:360:08:38

-Walk out!

-You get back over there right now.

0:08:380:08:41

You get back up on...

0:08:410:08:42

No. You're gon' get back up there. That's your partner.

0:08:420:08:46

-Ow! Ow!

-Hey, hey, hey!

0:08:460:08:48

What are you doing?

0:08:480:08:49

So the story of the fight

0:08:520:08:53

was supposed to be that I keep refusing to go in

0:08:530:08:56

and then eventually he brings me in, so that was all to script.

0:08:560:08:59

And then he thought we were going to do this thing

0:08:590:09:01

where we go along the ropes,

0:09:010:09:02

but what I thought I'd do is I would just tickle him and slap him.

0:09:020:09:05

So that's obviously what you were referring to

0:09:090:09:11

when you said you would remember the lapping thing.

0:09:110:09:13

Yeah, that was supposed to be the revenge, yeah.

0:09:130:09:16

I was trying to do a thing where I bent him over

0:09:160:09:18

and spanked him on the arse.

0:09:180:09:19

I thought that was the ultimate humiliating thing to do so somebody,

0:09:190:09:23

but I just didn't anticipate his physical strength.

0:09:230:09:26

I don't know what about today made me think I could take him.

0:09:290:09:32

I've just got no idea, because he's a lot fitter than I am.

0:09:320:09:36

And for me to think I could bend him over my knee

0:09:360:09:39

and spank him shows a lack of awareness

0:09:390:09:44

of breathtaking levels, that's all I can... You know?

0:09:440:09:47

Why did you lap me?

0:09:490:09:50

Just cos they were shouting at us to run, I thought...

0:09:510:09:54

Do you not think it would have been more supportive and nice

0:09:540:09:57

to just pretend you couldn't have lapped me?

0:09:570:09:59

How was that going to benefit me?

0:09:590:10:01

It's not about benefiting you,

0:10:010:10:02

it's about being supportive to your brother.

0:10:020:10:05

Mate, you're such a sore loser.

0:10:050:10:06

You're a little teacher's pet.

0:10:060:10:08

Prick. Sits at the front of the class and give the teacher an apple

0:10:080:10:11

-because you love the teacher so much.

-While I'm sitting

0:10:110:10:14

in this classroom, are you sitting outside having a breakdown?

0:10:140:10:17

I was not having a breakdown, Dinesh, I was tired.

0:10:170:10:19

It looked a lot like that.

0:10:190:10:20

-Tell me now that you were not crying.

-I wasn't crying, Dinesh.

0:10:200:10:24

I saw a breakdown.

0:10:240:10:26

It wasn't a breakdown.

0:10:260:10:28

I was exhausted.

0:10:280:10:29

It looked very similar to having a breakdown.

0:10:290:10:32

I have been talking to Dinesh

0:10:350:10:38

-and he gave me all these ideas and he...

-He's so good, isn't he?

0:10:380:10:41

Yes, he's your brother.

0:10:420:10:44

Yeah, he is good. What's wrong with that?

0:10:440:10:46

I didn't say there's anything wrong with it.

0:10:460:10:48

-Anyway, you know Sean's father, Guru?

-Yeah.

0:10:480:10:50

-Dinesh has been talking to him.

-He's good, Dinesh, isn't he?

0:10:500:10:54

What's wrong with you?

0:10:540:10:55

-I'm just saying, he is good.

-So they had a chat and are going to organise

0:10:550:10:59

the RV and then we will travel in that while we are there and go for

0:10:590:11:05

fishing and Guru likes fishing.

0:11:050:11:08

Do you remember that time we all went camping together as a family?

0:11:080:11:10

-No, I can't.

-No, because we never went,

0:11:120:11:14

because camping's shit.

0:11:140:11:16

My uncle Guru is coming to pick us up...

0:11:180:11:21

Hello!

0:11:210:11:23

..in an RV that he wants us to travel the south in.

0:11:230:11:27

So what's the plan for today?

0:11:310:11:33

We are going for catfishing, you know?

0:11:330:11:35

And what we can do is, after fishing,

0:11:350:11:38

we can bring the fish back here and cook. Put some little sauce...

0:11:380:11:41

So what is it, is this about a fishing trip

0:11:410:11:43

or just you fancy eating some fish tonight?

0:11:430:11:45

-Hello.

-How are y'all doing?

-How are you doing?

0:11:500:11:52

-Hi.

-Romesh.

0:11:520:11:53

-Romesh, hi.

-They call me Rom.

-Mike.

0:11:530:11:55

-Mike, nice to meet you.

-Good to meet you.

0:11:550:11:57

You've fished before, right?

0:11:570:11:58

Yeah, but I don't see any rods.

0:11:580:12:00

No, we don't carry rods, we catch them with our hand.

0:12:000:12:03

I'm not a bear!

0:12:030:12:04

Yeah, you close your eyes and you swim underwater

0:12:040:12:09

and you go and stick your hand in a hole and the fish

0:12:090:12:11

-is going to come up there and bite you.

-Sorry, who does that?

-You.

0:12:110:12:14

Y'all two. We'll keep an eye out for the snakes

0:12:140:12:17

and the alligators for you.

0:12:170:12:19

-You all ready?

-Ready to go?

0:12:190:12:21

I'm ready to go on a boat.

0:12:210:12:22

All of that other shit, you can forget about.

0:12:220:12:24

Fuck that, mate.

0:12:330:12:34

Fuck that.

0:12:340:12:36

The idea was that they were going to show us how it's done

0:12:360:12:39

and then afterwards we'd have a go, theoretically.

0:12:390:12:41

Yeah, I want to help.

0:12:410:12:43

-Come out.

-Are you serious?

0:12:430:12:45

-You're just going to go straight in for it?

-Yeah, I guess so.

0:12:450:12:49

But then Dinesh just stepped up and then what followed was him basically

0:12:490:12:54

becoming the best fisherman I've ever seen.

0:12:540:12:57

-Straight down, yeah?

-Right here.

-Oh, I've got you.

0:12:570:13:00

So why didn't you get in and help your brother?

0:13:060:13:08

I'm a vegan, do you understand? I don't like fishing.

0:13:080:13:11

Come on, Dinesh.

0:13:110:13:12

He's got one. He's got one.

0:13:120:13:15

THEY LAUGH

0:13:150:13:17

Yeah!

0:13:180:13:20

Nicely done.

0:13:200:13:21

Oh, my God! Did you see that?

0:13:250:13:28

So proud of Dinesh.

0:13:280:13:30

-CREW MEMBER:

-So, obviously, as you didn't do it,

0:13:300:13:32

do you mind if we get Dinesh to come in

0:13:320:13:35

and sort of talk us through the process?

0:13:350:13:37

Din...

0:13:400:13:41

Rom, He's not a candy-ass like you.

0:13:410:13:44

God, I hope the boat doesn't crash,

0:13:440:13:46

they sink and don't make it back to shore.

0:13:460:13:47

-That would be a nightmare.

-Oh, shut up, what a thing to say, Romesh!

0:13:470:13:50

You basically lie down flat, put your arm in,

0:13:500:13:54

wave your arm around, it will bite you, and then you pull it out,

0:13:540:13:58

put it under your arm and pull it straight out the water.

0:13:580:14:01

Does anyone else think this is shit?

0:14:090:14:10

I don't think it's shit, man.

0:14:100:14:12

It is an experience.

0:14:120:14:14

Get an RV, sleep there the night, you can see the sights,

0:14:140:14:17

-we're in a car park.

-It's a beautiful car park, though.

0:14:170:14:21

This is basically a luxury form of dogging, you know that?

0:14:210:14:23

-Right, goodnight, guys.

-Goodnight.

0:14:230:14:25

-Sleep tight.

-Night.

0:14:270:14:28

See you tomorrow morning.

0:14:280:14:29

SIRENS WAILING AND DOGS BARKING

0:14:290:14:31

At least it's quiet around here.

0:14:310:14:33

Can we all agree that I was correct, please,

0:14:400:14:42

about the sleeping in this shit van.

0:14:420:14:43

Yes, you were correct.

0:14:430:14:45

-Thank you.

-Don't worry, we're going to have a better day today.

0:14:450:14:47

This is what we do back home, right.

0:14:470:14:49

When we go on a drive we start singing,

0:14:490:14:52

clapping and everything, right?

0:14:520:14:55

So, OK, Rom, come on.

0:14:550:14:57

Do you want to listen to some music, man?

0:14:570:14:59

-Everybody after me.

-Yeah.

0:14:590:15:01

# Hate the van, hate the van

0:15:010:15:03

# Oh, we hate this shitty van!

0:15:030:15:05

# I'm gonna drive it into the river if I can

0:15:050:15:07

-# If I can!

-Hate the van, hate the van

0:15:070:15:10

# Oh, we hate this shitty van!

0:15:100:15:12

# Gonna drive it into the river if I can... #

0:15:120:15:15

Guru!

0:15:150:15:16

# Why can't you enjoy the van, enjoy the van?

0:15:170:15:22

# Enjoy the trip, enjoy the trip

0:15:220:15:24

# Without complaining so much?

0:15:240:15:26

# I've never seen anybody complaining so much in my life

0:15:260:15:32

# Waste of money, waste of money, waste of money, waste of energy

0:15:320:15:36

# If I don't enjoy, you don't enjoy, it's no good for my effort... #

0:15:360:15:41

Did you want to follow the rhythm?

0:15:410:15:42

LAUGHTER

0:15:420:15:44

What do you think of cheerleaders, Mum?

0:15:460:15:48

I reckon we could like do some hanging out with the cheerleaders.

0:15:480:15:51

Not hanging out, but, like, just go and see some.

0:15:510:15:53

Those girls, with their shorts and tight tops

0:15:530:15:58

and they have this tassel in their hand.

0:15:580:16:01

-Yeah.

-And they dance around and say something, I don't know,

0:16:010:16:05

what do they say? That's the cheerleaders?

0:16:050:16:07

-That is cheerleaders. Yeah.

-I got it right.

-Yeah,

0:16:070:16:09

you could set up a website or something and call it Shitopedia.

0:16:090:16:12

With those little definitions.

0:16:120:16:14

"They got the tassels and then they do the dancing..."

0:16:140:16:16

Show their boobs as well so...

0:16:180:16:20

They don't. I don't know what version you've seen.

0:16:200:16:22

Today we're going to do something different.

0:16:220:16:25

-Hotel?

-No, no, I'm going to take the boys for male cheering first.

0:16:250:16:29

-Male cheering?

-Male cheering?

0:16:290:16:30

Are you talking about girls? Cheerleaders?

0:16:300:16:33

No, no, actually I said male because we three of us are males.

0:16:330:16:36

No, man, I don't fancy it, it's not... I want to go shopping, mate.

0:16:360:16:38

-What are you talking about?

-I've done everything else, mate.

0:16:390:16:42

-Dinesh, are you going for shopping, then?

-Yeah.

-Can I join you?

0:16:420:16:45

-Yeah, of course.

-What, Guru, you're coming with me, though?

0:16:450:16:47

-Are you going to stick?

-I'm not a good dancer, I'll skip it.

0:16:470:16:51

You can do it. By yourself.

0:16:510:16:53

# Uh-huh, this my shit

0:16:530:16:55

# Few times I've been around that track

0:16:550:16:57

# So it's not just gonna happen like that

0:16:570:16:59

# Cos I ain't no hollaback girl

0:16:590:17:01

# I ain't no hollaback girl... #

0:17:010:17:04

Basically, Dinesh decided it wasn't for him so...

0:17:040:17:08

..in a similar way as if I decided something wasn't for me,

0:17:090:17:12

Uncle Guru and my mum accepted that

0:17:120:17:13

and they've decided to spend the day shopping.

0:17:130:17:16

I've got to give this a go to show

0:17:160:17:17

that I can actually do something.

0:17:170:17:19

So bizarrely...

0:17:190:17:21

cheerleading has now become my thing.

0:17:210:17:23

Hey!

0:17:240:17:25

-Hello.

-So, what are you doing here?

0:17:250:17:28

I don't know. I came to see what you guys do.

0:17:280:17:30

In high school we was rejected from being on the teams, the dance teams.

0:17:300:17:34

It's a female-dominated dance, though.

0:17:340:17:37

So males aren't allowed to do it.

0:17:370:17:39

So what we did was, we rebelled against, like, the school system.

0:17:390:17:43

-OK.

-And started our own thing.

0:17:430:17:45

So would you ever try to do this?

0:17:450:17:47

Well, I'm happy to give it a go.

0:17:470:17:48

I mean, the thing is I don't have any...

0:17:480:17:50

-..erm, natural rhythm.

-Could you move your torso, like...?

0:17:510:17:56

Oh, that! That's it! That's all you need is a little rhythm.

0:17:560:17:58

-A little beat.

-And now all you've got to do is put the beat to it

0:17:580:18:01

-and you'll be good to go.

-OK.

-But you're going to have to do

0:18:010:18:04

a whole makeover if you want to do this type of dance.

0:18:040:18:06

You have man parts.

0:18:060:18:08

-Yeah, and you have to get...

-You have to get rid of that, too.

0:18:080:18:11

-What are you talking about? What?

-Your penis.

0:18:110:18:13

See, I don't have one now.

0:18:130:18:15

-Where is it?

-You put it back here.

0:18:160:18:19

-Yeah.

-And you push your testicles out of like the sack

0:18:190:18:22

and you put it by your pubic hairs

0:18:220:18:24

and then you take the other thing that sits there,

0:18:240:18:26

and you pull between and it goes here.

0:18:260:18:29

And you take the tuck strap and you step it in

0:18:290:18:32

and you go, pull up.

0:18:320:18:34

Tuck strap is a strap that you use to strap your dick

0:18:360:18:40

underneath your gooch which is actually...

0:18:400:18:43

It's the least of my concerns at the moment

0:18:450:18:46

because before you do that,

0:18:460:18:48

you have to push your own testicles up into your stomach.

0:18:480:18:50

Have you danced before?

0:18:520:18:54

-Have you taken dancing?

-You've got a nice turnout.

-Thank you.

0:18:540:18:58

Ah-ah!

0:18:580:19:00

Put a little gayness in it! A little...

0:19:000:19:03

Yeah!

0:19:030:19:04

I'm sure if Dinesh was here,

0:19:040:19:06

his dick would magically disappear and he'd be able to do the moves

0:19:060:19:09

before they showed him, but I don't have to compete with that today.

0:19:090:19:12

And then to the right.

0:19:120:19:14

-Like that.

-One. Two. Three.

0:19:140:19:18

'They were really nice, man, I really like them.

0:19:180:19:20

'Like they were inviting, welcoming,'

0:19:200:19:23

they were inclusive. I kept cocking it up, they didn't mind.

0:19:230:19:26

It was fun to hang out with them.

0:19:260:19:27

They're basically the opposite of my family.

0:19:270:19:30

-Ooh!

-That was it.

0:19:300:19:31

You look good.

0:19:310:19:33

Yeah. You look good.

0:19:330:19:34

If I join the group I would be like

0:19:340:19:36

the Eeyore of, like, Winnie the Pooh, do you know what I mean?

0:19:360:19:40

So they provide the energy and I come on, like, "Hello...

0:19:400:19:42

"I'm going to join in as well." You know?

0:19:420:19:46

"My nuts are still in the normal place, sorry."

0:19:460:19:49

Also they said I don't look right.

0:19:490:19:51

-BOTH:

-Make over!

0:19:510:19:53

Yeah!

0:19:530:19:55

So that's what we're doing next.

0:19:550:19:57

-We are going to the salon.

-Oh, we're going to the salon.

0:19:570:20:00

-We're going to the salon.

-Yes!

0:20:000:20:03

-Ooh, that came out easy.

-Oh, God.

0:20:100:20:12

-This fish...

-Why do you keep saying everything's fish?

0:20:150:20:18

-CREW MEMBER:

-It looks all right.

0:20:350:20:36

-You look good.

-Do I?

0:20:370:20:40

So you did go for the full tuck?

0:20:410:20:42

I've not gone for the full tuck, mate, I've just done a semi-tuck.

0:20:420:20:45

It's not a full tuck. We're Sri Lankan.

0:20:460:20:48

Look at me. Look at me, mate.

0:20:500:20:52

I don't think it looks as bad as you think it does.

0:20:520:20:55

-Honestly. I think it looks cool.

-Well, I think it looks like

0:20:550:20:57

the worst thing anyone's ever worn, ever in the history of the world,

0:20:570:21:00

so, you telling me it doesn't look as bad as I think it looks

0:21:000:21:02

is absolutely fuck all to me.

0:21:020:21:03

Because I think I look like a brown Widow Twankey.

0:21:030:21:06

Oh! You look cute!

0:21:090:21:11

Oh, you missed a step, you've got to button up the back.

0:21:110:21:13

-Yeah.

-Put a little sissy on it.

0:21:130:21:15

-Yeah.

-There you go! You in now.

0:21:150:21:17

-You in now.

-Yeah.

0:21:170:21:18

All right, let's do it together.

0:21:180:21:20

Come on. On three, put a little sissy on.

0:21:200:21:22

One, two, three.

0:21:220:21:24

The original plan was that I perform at the stadium,

0:21:280:21:32

but the stadium have said that the group

0:21:320:21:36

are not in keeping with their brand

0:21:360:21:38

so they're going to do like a guerrilla dance

0:21:380:21:41

just wherever they fancy.

0:21:410:21:42

And actually I think what they do is pretty cool, so, yeah,

0:21:420:21:45

I'm going to do it.

0:21:450:21:46

CHEERING

0:21:480:21:50

# My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

0:21:500:21:52

# And they're like, it's better than yours

0:21:520:21:54

# Damn right, it's better than yours

0:21:540:21:56

# I can teach you but I have to charge

0:21:560:21:58

# I know you want it

0:21:580:22:00

# That thing that makes me

0:22:000:22:03

# What the guys go crazy for... #

0:22:040:22:09

Did I knock it out the part? Did I absolutely nail it?

0:22:090:22:12

Yeah, I think I probably did.

0:22:120:22:14

THEY CHEER

0:22:170:22:18

So what do you think your mum and your family made of it?

0:22:220:22:26

Erm... Yeah, they seem to enjoy it, they seemed to love it.

0:22:260:22:29

I don't think they thought it was good quality

0:22:360:22:38

but Dinesh and Mum were really buzzing.

0:22:380:22:40

Guru looked like he was awake, so it was great.

0:22:400:22:43

Well, my mama hugged me and said, I'm so proud of you, so...

0:22:440:22:47

-It's nice, isn't it?

-When was the last time she did that?

0:22:470:22:49

Erm...

0:22:490:22:51

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:22:520:22:54

Yeah. Beautiful.

0:22:570:22:58

Hey, man, that was a great performance.

0:22:580:23:01

You guys have been amazing so thank you so much.

0:23:040:23:07

You welcomed me in and I really appreciate it, so thank you.

0:23:070:23:10

You crossed the rainbow, tasted Skittles.

0:23:100:23:12

Yeah, I really tasted the Skittles and they were great. Thank you.

0:23:120:23:15

-They taste wonderful. They taste fish!

-Yeah!

0:23:150:23:17

-Yeah! Oh, yeah.

-Fish!

0:23:170:23:19

-Is it coming off all right?

-No.

0:23:230:23:26

They said it would be really quick and it's not.

0:23:260:23:30

Fuck.

0:23:300:23:31

What have you got tomorrow?

0:23:320:23:34

Tomorrow, Din's doing a skydive

0:23:340:23:37

and we're going along to support and watch.

0:23:370:23:39

So...

0:23:420:23:44

I don't know exactly what that will involve.

0:23:440:23:47

I imagine I'll still have this in my hair.

0:23:470:23:49

I can't wait to go skydiving today, it's going to be wicked.

0:23:510:23:54

Yeah, Dinesh, we are all looking forward

0:23:540:23:57

to watching you today, you know?

0:23:570:23:58

How about Romesh, is he going to do it?

0:23:580:24:01

I don't think so. I mean...

0:24:010:24:03

Why are you quickly saying I don't think so?

0:24:040:24:07

-Why?

-Wait a minute, Mum,

0:24:070:24:09

are you seriously surprised that we think he's not going to dive?

0:24:090:24:12

Give him a chance.

0:24:120:24:13

-He might do it.

-I am actually thinking I might not do it.

0:24:130:24:16

-Why, Romesh?

-Because I don't really fancy it.

0:24:160:24:18

You don't fancy fishing, you don't fancy wrestling,

0:24:180:24:21

you don't fancy anything, what do you fancy, then?

0:24:210:24:24

Dress up as a woman.

0:24:240:24:25

Welcome to Skydive Monroe. You guys here to skydive?

0:24:340:24:36

-Yeah.

-Well, he is.

0:24:360:24:38

-He is? Not you?

-Not me, no.

0:24:380:24:40

Well, I can do the training once with everyone,

0:24:400:24:43

then you can decide if you want to jump, you can jump.

0:24:430:24:45

I've managed to negotiate myself into quite a nice situation here

0:24:450:24:48

where I've ducked out of so much stuff

0:24:480:24:50

that they don't even expect me to get involved now

0:24:500:24:52

which is quite sweet actually.

0:24:520:24:54

So it looks like I'm not going to have to do this one.

0:24:540:24:56

But I am going to go up in the plane and support Din.

0:24:560:25:00

It's good to get another layer on actually

0:25:000:25:01

-in this temperature, isn't it?

-Yeah.

0:25:010:25:03

You know, the whole week I've not been good

0:25:030:25:06

and supportive to my brother whereas now I'm properly cheering him on,

0:25:060:25:09

do you know what I mean?

0:25:090:25:10

You look so good in yours.

0:25:100:25:12

Do I? Like a hero? Oh!

0:25:120:25:15

So the plane will land, I'll come down the steps

0:25:150:25:17

and everyone will be, like, "Oh, God, you're so supportive!"

0:25:170:25:21

Yeah?

0:25:210:25:22

But I thought you could add music and that

0:25:220:25:24

and, like, have a slow-mo of me coming out

0:25:240:25:27

and we wouldn't make it like hip-hop,

0:25:270:25:29

you do like Adele or something like that,

0:25:290:25:31

so it feels like a real breakthrough.

0:25:310:25:33

Are you really trying to say that you getting in the plane

0:25:330:25:36

and watching your brother is as good as you actually doing the jump?

0:25:360:25:39

Erm...

0:25:420:25:43

All the best.

0:25:430:25:45

-What the hell's going on?

-Did you...

0:25:450:25:46

You enjoyed having your brother here?

0:25:460:25:48

-Yeah.

-So why don't you ask him to stay?

0:25:480:25:50

He's doing all the stuff, he's jumping, he's doing the fishing

0:25:500:25:54

and the wrestling, so why don't you ask him to stay next week as well?

0:25:540:25:58

Is there anyway to just disconnect and jump out without the chute?

0:25:580:26:01

-No way.

-Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot for the pep talk, Mum.

0:26:010:26:04

Man, I am shitting myself.

0:26:060:26:07

It will be good, man.

0:26:090:26:11

-Fuck off, man.

-It will be good, man, I believe in you.

0:26:110:26:14

You're going to be great.

0:26:160:26:17

You can do this, man.

0:26:170:26:19

Well done, I believe in you.

0:26:190:26:20

Shut up.

0:26:200:26:22

You're a legend.

0:26:220:26:23

You can do it, Din.

0:26:280:26:30

Ready, set...

0:26:300:26:32

-Right, let's do it.

-You doing it?

0:26:360:26:39

Yeah, I'm going to do it.

0:26:390:26:41

# But I set fire to the rain

0:26:430:26:47

# Watched it pour as I touched your face

0:26:470:26:51

# Well, it burned while I cried

0:26:510:26:54

# Cos I heard it screaming out your name

0:26:540:26:58

# Your name... #

0:26:580:27:00

You did it.

0:27:020:27:03

I was always intending on doing the skydive

0:27:090:27:11

but I just sort of thought if people are going to assume

0:27:110:27:14

that I'm not going to do it, then I'm going to let them

0:27:140:27:16

sort of go on that assumption.

0:27:160:27:18

Mum, I hope you're happy.

0:27:180:27:21

Literally, if I had some custard pies, or some egg,

0:27:210:27:24

I wanted to land and go, "In your face, in your face, in your face!

0:27:240:27:27

"I did it."

0:27:270:27:29

But unfortunately they were all really nice

0:27:290:27:32

and like really supportive and lovely about it.

0:27:320:27:35

Thanks very much.

0:27:390:27:40

Well done, Romesh. Darling.

0:27:400:27:41

Well impressed, I didn't think you'd do it, mate.

0:27:410:27:43

I guess at the beginning of this week, I thought it was all

0:27:430:27:46

about competition between my brother and I

0:27:460:27:48

and what I learned as the week went on,

0:27:480:27:50

is that actually we're not competing with each other,

0:27:500:27:52

we're competing with life itself,

0:27:520:27:55

and in many ways, we've ended up both winners.

0:27:550:27:57

-Do you mean that?

-Of course I fucking don't, mate.

0:27:590:28:02

This week we are in Colorado.

0:28:020:28:04

I'm due to spend a week with my cousin Krishna.

0:28:040:28:06

I'm going to help him become a man

0:28:060:28:08

and apparently the way that we're going to do that

0:28:080:28:11

is by being cowboys for the week.

0:28:110:28:13

-Come on, Rom.

-Whoa!

0:28:140:28:16

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS