Birth of Rock Brian Pern: A Life in Rock


Birth of Rock

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This programme contains strong language

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Over 40 years, I've been making and playing music

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to audiences all over the world.

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Both as lead singer of Thotch and as a solo artist.

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I invented world music.

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HE SINGS IN SPANISH

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I was the first musician to use Plasticine in videos.

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The first magician to record with animals.

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My last album had the lowest bass line ever recorded.

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VERY LOW NOTE PLAYS

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Long before Bob Geldof and Bono,

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I was staging charity concerts

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and writing songs to raise awareness for the helpless and the hopeless.

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# Why no Black folk in Jersey?

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# Why no Black folk in Sark?

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# Why no Black folk in Guernsey?

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# Are they having a lark? #

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This is the Life Of Rock, with me Brian Pern.

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MIDDLE EASTERN MUSIC PLAYS

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But what always fascinates me is where it all began.

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What is the meaning of this life we call rock'n'roll?

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To find out, you have to go right back to the dawn of time,

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to the birth of man and the birth of music.

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Hello, I'm here with Mr Dan Cruickshank,

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one of the world's foremost historians.

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We're deep underground in a cave in the Middle East.

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There's been a pretty amazing discovery. Dan.

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Right, well, here it is.

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These wall paintings date from about 70,000 years ago.

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As far as we know,

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this is the earliest depiction of homo sapiens making music.

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This chap here, as you can see,

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is playing some sort of wind instrument.

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Here, this rather Neanderthal-looking fellow on percussion -

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the drummer.

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Here, this man, is playing the stringed instrument.

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What sort of music would they have played?

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We had no idea

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until recently, archaeologists found this sequence of symbols.

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-Here they are.

-Wow.

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One assumes they are musical notes.

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Only yesterday, scientists at the Shazam Institute in USA

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developed software to transcribe the sequence.

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My gosh. What's that over there?

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Oh, that's a bloody Banksy.

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That clown gets absolutely everywhere.

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By the time I arrived back in London,

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the chaps at Shazam had completed their findings

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and sent them through to one of our greatest pianists.

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He would be playing these musical notes for the very first time.

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PIANO PLAYS

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OK, can you stop that?

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-Sorry.

-Thanks.

-Sorry.

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Ready?

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OK, so these are the actual notes that were transcribed

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from the cave illustrations we found in Oman - over 70,000 years old.

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I have Mr Jools Holland here.

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Julian Holland.

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Jools, I'd like you to play that for us the best you can.

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I'd love to try and play this.

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You know, of course, there are...

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This is 70,000-year-old transcription. There is a...

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The oldest recording on Earth is Roman,

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it's not known by a lot of people.

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The Roman potters would sign the inside of their vases

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with a needle as the pot was being rotated.

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When these shattered vases, taken from the British Museum,

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are reconstructed and put on the right equipment,

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which I think the Russians have done now,

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you can hear the crackling, ancient sounds of the market.

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There's no music. It's just the "For sale" and things like this.

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I don't know if you were aware of that.

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No. Let's do this now.

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-Just play this?

-Yeah.

-OK.

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Hang on.

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Oh.

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HE PLAYS EASTENDERS THEME TUNE

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Is that a bit like EastEnders, isn't it?

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DOOF DOOF

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For thousands of years, rock lay dormant within man.

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Humans got their kicks out of what we now know as classical music.

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It wasn't until the 20th century when all that changed.

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Meet the parents of rock - folk, jazz and blues.

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The Mississippi.

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It is amazing to think this primordial swamp

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gave birth to the 12-bar blues -

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the nucleus of rock'n'roll as we know it.

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Basically, white people heard the blues

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created in the Deep South on their radios and copied it,

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made it slightly worse, then cashed in big time.

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# All we've got... #

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The great-grandfather of the blues movement was

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Toddy 'Biscuit Barrel" Burnett.

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# I don't want to run, babe

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# I'm hunted

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# I'm hunted

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# I'm missing my wife... #

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Toddy's one of the great originators.

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I think without him, music wouldn't be quite the same as it is today.

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My, oh, my.

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This is Toddy 'Biscuit Barrel' Burnett...

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..who was essentially the guy that taught all the guys,

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all the top blues guys.

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Howlin' Wolf, Sonny Boy Williamson, Robert Johnson, Bo Diddley.

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This guy taught them the rudiments of blues guitar.

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Now he's destitute, he's homeless.

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Toddy, it's Brian Pern here. I e-mailed you.

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I didn't get any reply.

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How do you feel about bands like the Rolling Stones stealing your music?

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Then there was jazz.

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HE SCATS

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When jazz and blues were mixed together,

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it created a whole new melting pot -

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a kind of rhythm and blues rock ratatouille.

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All sorts of new genres were served up.

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There was the traditional jazz, there was the modern jazz,

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then there was the beebop.

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Little wop, big wop, do-wop. Trad-de-wop.

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You had the skiffle music, there was even skaffle.

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Skoffle.

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-Tofu.

-Trad, skoffle beat. Skaffle, falafel.

-Trad tofu.

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Piffle-poddle, widdle.

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We did quite a lot of widdling, actually.

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But the most thoughtful and simplistic

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of the three fathers of rock was folk.

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Folk was a back-to-basics musical strata.

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All you needed was an acoustic guitar,

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some vaguely left-wing views and unkempt pubic hair.

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Folk musicians smoked Boar's Head tobacco,

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and they drank real ales

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like Parson's Punnet, Dog Bolter and Bench.

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DOG HOWLS

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HOWLING CONTINUES

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Bob Dylan, or Robert Zimmerman, is without doubt

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probably the greatest singer-songwriter of all time.

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Mind you, I saw him last year in London

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and it sounded like somebody had thrown a hairdryer in the bath.

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When Dylan plugged in, we plugged out.

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-SLURRING:

-I remember him.

-Yes, you do.

-He went electric.

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He was gas before that.

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At these festivals, as people plugged in,

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they also plugged on to something else -

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LSD.

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But for every up, there came a down.

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HE SCREAMS

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I can't stand the confusion in my mind!

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My first tab of LSD - I dropped it.

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I picked it up.

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It was almost as if the children of jazz, blues and folk had an orgy,

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and an incestuous offspring was born into the world.

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That offspring was rock music.

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As rock music grew,

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like a teenager it became more aware of its appearance

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and no longer wanted to resemble what it had come from.

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Suddenly, it was all about image.

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# There's a star man

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# Waiting in the sky... #

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Star Man? I played piano on that.

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Well, course David Bowie came on on Star Man.

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Maybe it should have gone a bit more like this.

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In his myriad guises, he took stagecraft to new limits -

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borrowing from Marcel Marceau, Lindsay Kemp, Nosferatu,

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Popeye and Sally Gunnell.

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Put simply - he's one of the greats.

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But in the old days, he would go down your pockets

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and steal your fags.

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Although David Bowie may have pioneered glam rock,

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others were hot on his high heels.

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# What's her name, Virginia Plain? #

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Virginia Plain? I played piano on that.

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Virginia Plain was another legendary record,

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but maybe it should have gone a bit more like this.

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Then, of course, there was Thotch.

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-Thotch.

-Thotch.

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-Thotch.

-Thotch.

-Thotch.

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-Thotch.

-The Thotch.

-Thotch.

-- Thotch.

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-Thotch.

-Thotch.

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-Yes, I'd agree. Thotch.

-Thotch.

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Good evening, everybody. Welcome to the Anglesey Pavilion.

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While we're just tuning up between the songs,

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I'd like to introduce you to Thotch the band.

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First of all on double-necked guitar, Mr Pat Quid.

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I was very unfortunate in that I was born to very wealthy

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and very loving parents. I never wanted for anything.

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I think that's held me back.

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I wish, to some extent, that I'd had a more difficult upbringing

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involving abuse, lack of love and penury.

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On bass, we have John. On Drums we have Dave.

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Mike.

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Whilst at Stowe, I had the good fortune to meet two chaps

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who'd had the similar misfortune as I'd had growing up,

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in that they both had unconditional love

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and wanted for nothing financially.

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That was Brian Pern and Tony PebblE or Pebble as he was then.

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On keyboards we have Mr Tony PebblE.

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It's PebblE with an acute, you know...Huguenots.

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16th century Protestant France. Doesn't matter, bollocks.

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Anyway, it's PebblE.

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I remember going to Putney to see The Yardbirds and Long John Baldry.

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You just couldn't move for twat.

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I don't remember anything about the music.

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I just remember all those beautiful birds.

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I went home and I started practising.

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Thotch was always complicated.

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We were part of a wave of public school bands.

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That's a bit embarrassing.

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We wrote about our environment, which was largely bucolic,

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pastoral, dark side.

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# We ran, we flew

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# We danced, we laughed

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# We drive, we jumped... #

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The pretentiousness of that band, yeah, used to make me want to...

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I can't even say.

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Thotch weren't that intelligent.

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They weren't as intelligent as we were.

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Brian did build his guitar out of a fireplace.

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John built his guitar out of a large fireplace.

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Freddie built his piano out of a fireplace.

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I built my drums out of a fireplace. You know.

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They weren't that intelligent.

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Grown men. Grown fucking men singing songs about worms and fairies.

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Oh, do me a favour, will you, mate? For God's sake.

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While the band are tuning up, I'd like to just tell you a quick story.

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Once upon a time there was a fox.

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He was being chased by a pack of hounds along a dry riverbed....

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I used to get very bored at some of those gigs.

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Brian would enlarge on a theme and really go off piste.

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Christ, he could babble on for 25 minutes, more.

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I would nip out for a fag and get my knob polished.

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Oi!

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And the hounds were terrified.

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This song is called Onion Divorce.

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The costumes came about by accident.

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You have to remember this was the peak of prog rock.

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The Oyster Catcher's Owl, for example, was six sides long.

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It featured a five minute bass pedal solo alone.

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Brian would come on, prancing around in whatever had taken his fancy,

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a feathery thing. To make it more interesting.

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I felt it detracted from the music

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and lost sight of the nuances of the solo.

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It caused a lot of friction.

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We were very serious, dedicated musicians.

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We weren't interested in a visual representation of what we were.

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We thought the music spoke for itself.

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HE WAILS

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Brian obviously didn't.

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HE WAILS

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WAILING CONTINUES

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Brian was obsessed with dressing up. Even at Stowe -

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any excuse to shove an animal on his head. He'd just do it. Bosh.

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WAILING

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For Brian it was about prosthetic claws, noses, beaks,

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teeth, ears, feathers.

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Every single costume from the '70s come from here, from me.

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It was all me. Brian had a lot of...

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A lot of looks, a lot of different birds he liked to put on his head.

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So I knew this poacher who could get me some really, really good stuff.

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When he was sort of time, I'd ring him up, we'd go down London Zoo

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and he'd...one of the...

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I mean, don't tell him. Stuff with stuffing and we'd put it on his head.

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These days you couldn't do that.

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We killed a panda once.

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As musicians became more sophisticated,

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so did the production values.

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Producers became just as innovative as their subjects.

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Phil Spector created his Wall of Sound.

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George Martin created his Wall of Beatle.

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Ray Thomas created his Multi-track Shenanigans.

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DISTORTED MUSIC

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This is actually a little hard for me right now,

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because obviously I've worked a lot in music - a lot of headphones.

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I'm now 97% deaf. I don't hear all the tone, but...

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LOUD SYNTHESISED CHOIR

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You have a very special way of recording.

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-How did you get that sound?

-Ah, well, interesting.

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So we started with a high-hat.

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If you come over here.

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We'll augment that with some toms,

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which are just here.

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Two toms. Then, if you come over here, we'll have another cymbal.

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We'll have a side cymbal.

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-Have we got another chair?

-Actually, I'll...

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Can you? I took one tom down. That was what I did.

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Then I doubled this tom.

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That's not actually a tom-tom sound though.

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CHICKEN CLUCKS

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-Isn't it?

-No, it's mislabelled.

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And you can also here an egg,

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which actually doesn't really make a sound,

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but we still put up a mic to an egg.

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SILENCE

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Pretty good.

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If folk and progressive rock

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were the thoughtful and intelligent children of jazz and blues,

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the one that sat about in the bedroom smoking dope all day

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was reggae.

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Although people claimed that Bob Marley, Aswad or Ace Of Base

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were pioneers of this form, I wouldn't be so sure.

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There was a man who tipped reggae on its head by being the first

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White reggae artist to have a number one record in Jamaica,

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and changed the face of music for ever.

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That man was Judge Dread.

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# With her knickers all tattered and torn...

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# Uh-huh, uh-huh

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# Uh-huh, uh-huh

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# Ride up

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# Here we go

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# Tiki-taka, tiki-taka, tiki-taka

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# Up higher, pussy catch on fire

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# Yeah

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# Uh-huh, uh-huh

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# Uh-huh, uh-huh

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# Uh-huh, uh-huh

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# Yeah. #

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From the 1970s as rock became big business

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and bands became more intelligent,

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it gave birth to a new form of big bucks, no nonsense,

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abrasive managers like Don Arden and Peter Grant.

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After we saw the swindles perpetuated

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on the Stones, Beatles and Elvis,

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artists of my generation were determined to keep their mitts

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on the purse strings and retain creative control over the work.

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Rock was tired of being bullied

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and needed someone to fight their corner.

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The man who made all this possible for me was John Farrow.

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Eavis can fuck off.

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I don't care what stage he's on, what tent he's under, what field he's in.

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He's not coming. Tell them to fuck off.

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Well, look, I'm a lawyer. What the fuck do I know about music?

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I know about contracts. That's why they come to me.

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Tell Mendez to fuck off. It's busy.

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I mean managers back then were terrifying. Some were downright evil.

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Thotch at that time were being managed by Big Basil Steel.

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Big Basil Steel was a 6'3 ex-lion tamer.

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Basil also had a reputation for cornering artists in his office

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with a chair and a whip.

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So they asked me to get him out, which I did.

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I'm going to try and keep them. I'm a bit pushed for money.

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It's cost me my job.

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So if all the animal lovers, if they can put a few donations

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towards me and the lion, cos we're hungry.

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I am there to protect the interests of the artists and,

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very often, the artists from themselves.

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It is my job to say, "No," when they want to tour some ridiculous

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country where people can't afford yoghurt let alone concert tickets,

0:19:240:19:28

or they want to put on some pretentious rock opera

0:19:280:19:31

starring the cast of Sherlock or something.

0:19:310:19:33

Get Gordon Ramsay on the phone. Tell him to fuck off, would you?

0:19:330:19:36

Cos I don't like him.

0:19:380:19:39

Right, Brian.

0:19:410:19:44

Wouldn't you know Eavis has called about you doing Glastonbury?

0:19:440:19:46

-It's all right, don't worry, I said no for you.

-Well, what night?

0:19:460:19:49

-Saturday, closing.

-What stage?

-Pyramid.

0:19:490:19:52

Anyway, you don't want to be doing that, making a fool of yourself.

0:19:520:19:55

You're 62, you'd look like an idiot. And...

0:19:550:19:59

Yeah, you were asked to play a private concert

0:19:590:20:01

for the Qatar Royal family. One night only.

0:20:010:20:03

-You, Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, Gary Barlow and UB42.

-Who's that?

0:20:030:20:09

UB42. It's UB40 with Mark King from Level 42 on bass.

0:20:090:20:14

-It was such an obscene amount of money I turned it down for you.

-Why?

0:20:140:20:17

You've got to think about your reputation.

0:20:170:20:20

Yeah, but you managed Gary Barlow.

0:20:200:20:21

Yeah, but he doesn't care about his reputation.

0:20:210:20:25

Being the former frontman of a progressive rock band,

0:20:250:20:28

you'd think I would despise the next generation of rockers

0:20:280:20:31

who were determined to overthrow rock royalty.

0:20:310:20:33

On the contrary, these guys were a breath of not so much fresh

0:20:330:20:36

air bit feted air, with songs about abortion, anarchy and boredom.

0:20:360:20:41

They were, of course, The Wurzels.

0:20:410:20:43

# I am a cider drinker

0:20:430:20:47

# I drinks it all of the day... #

0:20:470:20:49

Then, of course, came the Sex Pistols,

0:20:520:20:54

who would change the face of music for ever...

0:20:540:20:56

Well, for a couple of years.

0:20:560:20:58

The trousers changed. Hairstyles changed. The venues change.

0:21:010:21:06

The promoters change.

0:21:060:21:07

Everyone had this attitude - no respect for the music.

0:21:070:21:10

-No respect for the...

-What are you talking about?

0:21:100:21:13

No respect for the guile of the mandolin.

0:21:130:21:14

-No respect for the violin, the viola, the clarinet.

-The woodwind.

0:21:140:21:19

Punk came about because the music industry became too indulgent.

0:21:220:21:27

You had producers, like me,

0:21:280:21:31

who were making this kind of overblown crap, you know,

0:21:310:21:36

that said nothing to the kids.

0:21:360:21:38

Then someone would come along, like me,

0:21:380:21:42

to really liven it up again.

0:21:420:21:44

We went to see... In disguise, obviously, because we'd be mobbed.

0:21:480:21:52

..the Sex Pistols in Middlesbrough, do you remember, in the Rock Garden?

0:21:520:21:57

Couldn't play a fucking note.

0:21:570:21:59

All my friends were punk rockers.

0:22:010:22:02

I listened to the Sex Pistols on John Peel.

0:22:020:22:04

I backcombed my hair, ripped up a T-shirt and all that kind of stuff.

0:22:040:22:09

Then a mate of mine played me the second Thotch album - Onion Divorce.

0:22:090:22:15

I was just hooked.

0:22:150:22:16

That meant that from about 1977 to 1981,

0:22:160:22:20

I was beaten up almost every day.

0:22:200:22:22

Punk made it fashionable to be badly behaved.

0:22:250:22:28

Before long, all rock stars were at it,

0:22:280:22:30

even those old enough to know better.

0:22:300:22:32

Back in the 1980s, I fronted a programme called Pop Quiz.

0:22:340:22:37

It was frothy, it was fun, it was good natured.

0:22:380:22:42

But, to be honest,

0:22:420:22:43

behind the scenes it was a heck of a lot darker than that.

0:22:430:22:46

Hello, welcome to a special Pop Quiz.

0:22:480:22:50

On this one, the teams are skippered by Leo Sayer.

0:22:500:22:53

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:530:22:55

Guitar hero from Status Quo, Rick Parfitt.

0:22:550:22:57

It was a dodgy one, really, because we assumed, you know,

0:23:000:23:02

two people, they'd get on, it'd be OK. It really wasn't...

0:23:020:23:06

It was like a couple of heavyweights slugging it out.

0:23:060:23:08

There was a real problem between them.

0:23:080:23:10

We kick off with an individual round about this year's hits.

0:23:100:23:13

Leo, let's see how you do.

0:23:130:23:14

MUSIC: "Rocking All Over The World" by Status Quo

0:23:140:23:17

BUZZER SOUNDS

0:23:170:23:19

# Oh, here we are and here we are

0:23:270:23:28

# And here we go

0:23:280:23:30

# All aboard and we're hitting the road

0:23:300:23:33

# Here we go

0:23:330:23:35

# Rocking all over the world... #

0:23:350:23:39

Was that The Monkeys?

0:23:390:23:41

It wasn't.

0:23:410:23:43

It wasn't The Monkeys. AUDIENCE GROANS

0:23:430:23:45

It was Rick Parfitt.

0:23:450:23:47

-No, really?

-It was.

0:23:470:23:48

It was a battle of the perms, really.

0:23:500:23:52

It was, you know, curlers, tongs at dawn.

0:23:520:23:55

Actually, I know him, cos he goes to my hairdresser.

0:23:550:23:57

I don't know whether Leo was being extra dry or not,

0:24:000:24:03

but Rick was absolutely livid.

0:24:030:24:05

I'll let you off if you can impersonate him.

0:24:050:24:08

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:130:24:15

That's it. That's all you have to do.

0:24:150:24:18

Go on, go for it.

0:24:180:24:19

Yeah, things actually took a turn for the worst during the recording break.

0:24:250:24:29

Leo said something like, "You've got a fat nan."

0:24:290:24:33

Cut to the end of the show.

0:24:330:24:34

We're there in the green room, Parfitt, he's had a few.

0:24:340:24:37

Quite clearly, he went crazy.

0:24:370:24:39

Sayer, you bastard. No-one says I've got a fat nan.

0:24:390:24:42

He was foaming at the mouth. He was like a rabid goat.

0:24:440:24:47

I am the Parfitt.

0:24:480:24:50

No-one says I've got a fat nan,

0:24:500:24:53

you strange little man.

0:24:530:24:54

So, my friends, this is how Rock was born -

0:24:570:25:00

from jazz and blues to prog and punk.

0:25:000:25:03

But as rock itself grew older,

0:25:030:25:05

a midlife crisis was around the corner.

0:25:050:25:08

Question was, would it survive?

0:25:080:25:10

Find out next time on The Life Of Rock, with I, Brian Pern.

0:25:100:25:15

-I haven't told him about the cameras.

-What?

-I haven't...

0:25:200:25:22

-Here he is, here he is.

-What's this for?

0:25:220:25:24

Oh, it's a Making Of for the DVD.

0:25:250:25:27

Nobody buys DVDs any more. Get out.

0:25:280:25:31

It's also going to be on the red button.

0:25:310:25:33

Nobody watches the red button stuff. Get out.

0:25:330:25:35

It's also going to go on the iPlayer, so...

0:25:350:25:36

It goes on the end of the actual episode or we don't do this thing.

0:25:360:25:40

And we get final cut and approval.

0:25:400:25:42

-I'll have to talk to someone about that.

-No, you won't, no, you won't.

0:25:420:25:45

-It's done or this is over. Brian?

-Yes.

-Do you agree?

0:25:450:25:47

Well, I did give the guy 24/7 access.

0:25:470:25:49

I think it's important for my fans to see how my brain works, you know?

0:25:490:25:52

The life of an artist.

0:25:520:25:54

Right. Christ.

0:25:560:25:57

-What are you doing?

-Just building a zoo.

0:25:590:26:02

I just bought a hippo enclosure.

0:26:020:26:04

-Oh, my daughter's got that game.

-Oh, no, it's not a game.

0:26:040:26:06

I really am building a zoo just outside Frankfurt.

0:26:060:26:09

Thotch is still going on. We are Thotch.

0:26:090:26:12

Well, we wanted to keep the name going.

0:26:120:26:14

But Brian took us to court, and so we had to change the name to Thotch II.

0:26:150:26:20

But Pat didn't like that, so we had to change the name to Thotch III.

0:26:220:26:28

Then Tony didn't like Thotch III,

0:26:300:26:32

so we had to change it to Thotch IV.

0:26:320:26:35

Then John didn't like Thotch IV,

0:26:370:26:41

so now we're Thotch 5.0.

0:26:410:26:45

Which I quite like.

0:26:450:26:46

Tangerine Dream.

0:26:480:26:49

Yeah, when I was young, I dreamt the fucking tangerines,

0:26:490:26:53

because you couldn't get them in fucking Belfast

0:26:530:26:55

because there was a war on.

0:26:550:26:56

All right? Give me all your fucking gatefold sleeve shite.

0:26:560:27:00

I swear to sweet Jesus, man,

0:27:000:27:01

my arm would not get tired punching that twat.

0:27:010:27:04

Are you doing any Hootenannies?

0:27:040:27:06

The Hootenanny? Yeah. We do that once a year.

0:27:060:27:08

It's turned into the main show.

0:27:080:27:10

The great thing for me and the orchestra

0:27:100:27:12

is that we've had everybody....

0:27:120:27:14

It's been such an honour in my career to have all

0:27:140:27:16

the greatest stars, the greatest names.

0:27:160:27:17

Everybody who is anybody has come an performed with us.

0:27:170:27:20

We really have had absolutely everyone.

0:27:200:27:22

I don't think there's anybody who's kind of a great star,

0:27:220:27:26

that hasn't been with us. That's the great thing about it.

0:27:260:27:29

-You haven't been on, have we? Have we ever asked you?

-No.

0:27:310:27:34

No. No. Well...

0:27:340:27:36

Yeah.

0:27:380:27:40

It's a bit loud.

0:27:400:27:41

It's a bit loud.

0:27:410:27:43

You want it loud, do you?

0:27:430:27:45

Can you hear what I'm saying?

0:27:460:27:48

It won't go any louder.

0:27:480:27:50

You'll bust my eardrums. I don't want to end up like you.

0:27:500:27:54

What? What?

0:27:540:27:55

It's too loud.

0:27:550:27:57

What?

0:27:570:27:58

We're deep underground in a cave...

0:27:580:28:00

-Sorry. Sorry.

-This is ridiculous.

0:28:010:28:04

Listen, we couldn't go to the actual place, but it looks fine on camera.

0:28:040:28:08

Oh, come off it.

0:28:080:28:11

# My love is a window And yours is a pane

0:28:110:28:15

# My love is uncertain Yours is a drain

0:28:150:28:19

# My love is a toaster Yours is a grill

0:28:190:28:23

# My love is healthy While yours is ill

0:28:230:28:27

# My love is a star buck Yours is a gut

0:28:270:28:31

# I want a snack But your fridge door is shut

0:28:310:28:35

# My love is modern Than yours is old

0:28:350:28:39

# My love is hot And yours is cold. #

0:28:390:28:43

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