Episode 3 Edinburgh Nights with Sue Perkins


Episode 3

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It is our final week here and Edinburgh is cram jammed

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It is our final week here and Edinburgh is as Mary Berry would say

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in between swearing, with musicians, comics and dancer, like Robert who

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is doing his sexual charged version of Oedipus Rex.

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APPLAUSE. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Ladies and gentlemen, if you can still hear me put your hands

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together for the Japan Marvellous Drummers.

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APPLAUSE Thank you Japan Marvellous Drummers

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from me, old English lady, you can see them at assembly square until

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Monday. . Welcome to the last edition of Edinburgh Nights the

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Fiesta is far from over. So please welcome our first guest, star of

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stage and screen, and the man only ever a vowel away from Simon Cowell,

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it is Simon Callow. APPLAUSE

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What a joy. Indeed. What a joy to sit next to you you evergreen sprite

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of the stage. Thank you. Your show is called Juvenal. Juvenalia. It is

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based on the 57 AD poet Juvenal. An unusual starting point perhaps fors

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a fringe show? It is basically 2,000-year-old stand up comedy. A

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lot of stand up comedy feels as if it is 2,000 years old. My own

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included! It is an amazing book. The 16 satires, he was a very angry

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white middle lass man, who just attacked everything that he came

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across, and, but brilliantly, funnily, outrageously, very

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politically incorrectly, but you open that book and you recognise

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that man immediately, there are plenty of him round. You have said

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he was a is sort of Alf Garnett figure. His whole society was

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changing round him and he felt frightened and threatened and his

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way back at it was comedy, and it was savage comedy, and that is, you

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know, that has been what stand up comics have done forever. We have a

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clip here, let us take a look at you. Posthumous. Posthumous. Ho, ho,

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ho. Are you really taking a wife? You used to be sane enough. What

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fury has got into you? What snake has stung you? Why you endure such

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Bishop tyranny when rope is available by the fathom. All those

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dizzying top floor windows are open for you, there are bridges before

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you to jump from. If none of these exits take your fancy, wouldn't it

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be better to sleep with a pretty boy?

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APPLAUSE Now, you first performed that 40 years

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ago? Yes, that is right. 1976, at the Bush theatre in London, and it

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was a rip roaring success, and had garlands thrown at it. Everyone said

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this is grated, how wonderful, we did it here and the many people were

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kind enough to say nice thing and one or two people said unpleasant

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things about it. People who write for famous newspapers, and, and I

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was amaidsed. They seemed to be suggesting that I was endorsing what

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Juvenal was saying, instead of what, I mean I think I we all understand

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actors do, which is to play a character who says things that...

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You would think critics would have got used to that Not apparently yet.

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You think that is due to the fact the climate has changed and people

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are worried some of the things you say are potentially homophobic? I

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think that is the anxiety. This is what happened with Alf Garnett, he

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used to spout racist thoughts and the idea was, by him and the writer,

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that the audience would go that is so terrible, but in fact a lot of

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them said right on, we agree with you. That was the problem with Alf

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Garnett. It is the problem with Juvenal. But that is in the nature

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of that comedy. Be Fair play to you for bringing it back. It is

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important to sort of dust it down and refresh it for modern times.

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Yes, and also, it has to be said he was one of the greatest writers on

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antic #2i, and a lot of what he said -- antiquity, somewhere inside that

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mess was a vulnerable human being, you can see that clearly from the

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book, and I think from the show, but also he articulated some of the

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great thoughts about life, that Roman, lived by, and a lot of

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British people live by until recently. Famous things about a

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healthy mind and body. Britain's circuses Who will keep guard over

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the guards themselves? That is another of his famous sayings. These

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phrases were, you know, on everyone's lips for centuries. You

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have a slight love affair with Edinburgh, how many, is it rude to

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inquire when your debut performance was? 1973 so 41 year, I did my very

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first job as an actor in this city, on the very stage I am working on at

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this moment. The actual same venue The exact same venue and stage, but

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in those days it was a, the international festival, it was a

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play from the 15th century called The Three Estates. Every great

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Scottish actor testify day was in it. People like Roddy McMillan,

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Fulton McKay, John Grieve. Edith McArthur, all of them were in. It

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was a member of something called the Young Lyceum Company we were a human

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soundtrack, we lay there on the steps and went "Aye" and "No". That

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is what a lot of Scots will be doing soon? Exactly. No don't know as far

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as I know. So, why do you keep coming back? What is the attraction

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of this city? Well, the location, the buildings, the feeling of the

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city, incredible, and, I mean, I will come back for that alone, the

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festival is something else. When came in 73 when Edinburgh was awe

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much dour place than it is now, where it was, out of the festival

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time it was almost impossible to find a restaurant on a Sunday, that

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would accept your business. Accepting everybody else's business!

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But, and, but the festival itself was suddenly, this party, this huge

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party, It was, I must say the international festival more than the

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Fringe. The Fringe was just growing then, but there was a fantastic

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feeling of the city was alive and swarming, with artists of one kind

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or another. Sometimes actors, singer, conductor, poets, it was

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fantastic. Now you have I suppose, to add to that you have stand ups,

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jugglers fire breather, and drummers. It's a carnival. It's a

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great cultural carnival. To which you add in spades. Have to say the

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gallant festival is still, juvenile nailia transfers to St James's

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theatre London. As the festival enters its final week only one week

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travels faster than a five-star review, that is a one star review.

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Mark Watson has been looking at what it means for performers to have

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success or failure. So we are almost at the end of the

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fringe. It is time for performers to weigh up how successful their shows

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have been. How do you measure success in Edinburgh? For a stand up

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winning the Fosters Edinburgh comedy award is a good indicator you have

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had a good year. Adam is back for the first time since winning You

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have allowed me to play with you until it is time to go home. How did

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taking home the big prize affect him? From that moment of being in

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the room and being on a list, you feel you have gone up a level. And

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then to win it is like OK, right, then it is not ever going to be the

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same again. If there is one thing that is guaranteed to relax me at

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the end of a long hard hour of comedy, it's a barely lessered

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sketch with myself and a complete stranger in a makeshift shower

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surrounded by electricity. This year's nominees will find out

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tomorrow who is about to be catapulted to fame. So good luck to

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all of them. But awards aren't everything.

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Delighting the audience is what really matters here. This is

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Kayleigh which puts a modern spin on the traditional Scottish dance

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party. It has been packing in the punter, including me.

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Wrong way! Then of course there is the dreaded reviews. Well, it is

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important to remember that good write ups aren't everything. The

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critics don't all get it right. The worst show at the fringe is a

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showcase for those who have received one star notices. It reminds some of

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the biggest names have attracted harsh criticism here I did a gig at

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Broadmoor maximum security hospital, this is a true story of a gig that

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went tits up. One man said your sanity brother means nothing to me,

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nothing to me. Now that is a very tricky gig. That was pretty good it

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going to show it is not about who takes home the biggest rewards, it

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is about the awed wren who take a punt on a new show. Is struggling

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performer today could turn out to be a superstar of tomorrow.

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Cheers mate. -- audience. Well, my money is on

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man on plinth in gas mask. Mark's own five-star show continues until

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Sunday. My next guest has starred in TV comedies such as The Thick Of It

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and outnumbered. She has been going it alone in her one woman play

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written by Mark Ravenhill called Product. Please welcome the

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magnificent Olivia Poulet. Now, Product, which I saw is

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beautifully written and brilliantly performed by your good self, I have

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to say. For those who have not seen it yet, can you take us through the

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sort of rough story. It a satire about a, the movie industry,

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basically. It a producing pitching a ghastly film project to a star let

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about a girl who falls in love with a suicide bomber. It is an

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extraordinary take on racism, and Islamophobia but Hollywood's desire

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to sexualise women. You are doing one person shows, it is a very

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specific discipline, is it not, extremely focussed. Yes. You are the

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old hand at this, what do you think of the unique acts you need to

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command an audience? The great thing is you know you have a story to

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tell, you have to just lock that story in. And everybody wants to

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hear stories, without exception, so it is about creating the

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relationship with them, now, I haven't seen Olivia's play, but do

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you talk directly to audience. No, we have done it so it as if... I

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haven't got an actress in the room. I would be odd having someone 50

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minutes of silence. So we have an empty chair on the front row, that

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is her. That is a big difference. If you are talking to people directly

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and looking them in the eye, you are in a very old relationship

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and looking them in the eye, you are in a with the audience. If you are

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in an enclosed world with the so-called fourth wall, you are in

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another kind of world. That is also wonderful. It is slightly different.

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I don't think you have to have that particular energy that you need to

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relate to an audience. It is a nice refracted way of doing it. You are

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used to doing collaborative work. Some of it is Impreza -- improvised.

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Let's take a look at you in action. For the other lady in your life? It

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was in my desk drawer. I thought I would say before something special.

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To like losing your virginity. If your penis could talk it would say,

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I'm lonely, where is everybody. Let me out of this coughing!

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-- coughing. How many times have you been to Edinburgh? Three. I have

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done bits and pieces of Edinburgh. 2005, 2006 and this year. Why do it?

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Sometimes people do not need to do it but they feel compelled. I think

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this one was about the play. Somebody had said to me a few months

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ago randomly that I should do a one-woman show. This came up and I

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thought the script was incredible. It was out of my comfort done. Give

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it a bash. Do you always feel the need to push yourself in a

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masochistic way? I have really loved it. Now I have got into the swing of

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it. As Simon says, it is an extra ordinary, totally unique

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experience. -- extraordinary. You also write as well. What are you

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currently scribing? Quite a lot of scribing. Mannix riding. I have

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written a feature film about four girls that rolled across the

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Atlantic. Which is a true story? Yes, it is based on a true story.

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Another film project that we are working on is about a girl who is a

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stalker and her half sister, a funeral addict. She goes to other

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people's funeral? Yes, she feels it gives her a purpose. These are real,

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these people. people's funeral? Yes, she feels it

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gives her a purpose. There is a funeral is anonymous. You comfort

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people. And feel you are important. Exactly. How long can you write for

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before the need to show off comes out? Yes, well I write with people.

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I can kind of be a child with them! I am really looking over both of

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them are working side by acting and writing, so I get to do two things

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are really enjoy. It is a great show. Possibly going to London? Yes,

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we're going to do it at the Arcola next year.

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And Product has extended its run and is at Assembly until Sunday.

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Now continuing our theme of success at this year's festival,

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Loretta Maine's a gal who's got something to sing about.

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# going to the Edinburgh fringe. # I've written down my deepest

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thoughts, music just for you. # it is going to be so much fun.

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# would unfurl -- wonderful Edinburgh?

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# I love you Edinburgh. It is not going quite how I planned

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but we are only one weekend. I have played to crowds of two.

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# who knew living your dreams would be so much fun?

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# thank you, Edinburgh. Watch people stamp upon your face.

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# I love you Edinburgh. Someone come and see my show! Thank

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you! I think I'm going to make it.

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23 days and no one has died. # at least you remember me next

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time. Goodbye, Edinburgh. # come November, I'll start thinking

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about Edinburgh. # the abusive partner, I adore. #

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I'll keep coming back for more. # it will be different next year, I

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sure. # cos I love you Edinburgh. # #.

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Strong Independent Women at Assembly till Sunday,

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My final guest tonight is an actor, comedian and writer, Omid Djalili!

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So, a writer now? Yes, I know. Do you feel incredibly posh? I do,

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actually. It is something I have always wanted to do. I cannot

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believe it is happening. I wanted to do it here because Edinburgh

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audiences really take me for what I am. They do not see ethnic. They

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just see not English. Which always helps! This was your first gig where

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you were not heckled. Use more adverts! I have heard of a heckle.

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There was a book event above a pub. I think the writer got the most

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weird heckle ever. Someone said at the back, they used to be a pool

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table in here. Which is less of a heckle, more of a wistful reminder

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of a happier time. Your book is littered with Churchill quotes,

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which fascinates me. There is one I particularly enjoyed, which is that

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success is failure after failure, with no loss of enthusiasm? That is

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the Edinburgh Festival. You and I have been coming for about 20 years.

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25, how dare you! I was a child when this began. At the end of the day I

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called the book hopeful because of that. You need hope. A lot of people

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do not like people who are too hopeful because they think they are

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to head in the clouds. They say you do not fully acknowledge the pain

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and suffering. You need to acknowledge the pain and suffering.

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Without hope you want to commit suicide. You need hope. It was based

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on my stand-up. I used to do a joke about my name. My name in Japan may

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-- means hope. I think it is a very important message for all the

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performers out there to remain hopeful. The Churchill stuff is

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interesting not only because he is an extremely hopeful icon who led

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the nation through troubled times, but also because he is

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quintessentially British. There is that odd juxtaposition in your book

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about how it feels to feel British and Iranian. The to -- two

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coexisting. Has always been difficult for me. I did the Royal

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variety performance a few years ago. It was very tough because my British

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side genuinely loves the British Royal family but my Iranian side

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hates me for it. I met Prince Charles. And I said to him, it was

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lovely to perform for you, you dirty imperialist pig! I used to do jokes

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about this. Spare a thought for my cousin in America who is half

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American, have Iranian, he spends most of his waking hours trying to

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invade himself. I feel it is very important to see a Middle Eastern

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person who is very British. The first show I ever did was called

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short fat kid Barb on's son. Inside me there is a tall thin high

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cheekbones ponds screaming to get out. I think it is a very important

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journey for people to see. Edinburgh, you have rehearsed a lot

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of these... I love the descriptions of your family. The way that you

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were brought up. It was not like anything I have ever read. It was

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like an Iranian hospital full of men in pyjamas weeping. Which is rare!

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Whenever you come out of the toilet you literally have to step over men

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in pyjamas. It was a guest house, basically. We had Iranians coming

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over. My father and mother were multitaskers. My mother was a

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nurse. My father was a translator and an entertainer. It was the first

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time I saw stand-up comedy because they believed humour would help

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people to heal better. There is a joke in Iranian where the world --

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the word exit is the same word for testicles. We would often joke,

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would you like your eggs scrambled, poached or fondled! Does that

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account for why there was a riot when they showed the Great British

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Bake Off to! From that of bringing, you hit Hollywood. This is you in

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the film the mummy. One of the peaks of Hollywood fame.

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You telling me this filthy godless son of a pig knows where to find the

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city of the dead? Yes. And if you cut him down he will give you...

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10%. 50%. 40. 25. Deal. All stars of the screen and yet you

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come back to Edinburgh. Presumably you have too much money and you want

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to lose all of it. Why do you come back? There is no financial reason

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to come here. Is it the love of the city and the love of the work that

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brings you back? The love of the city and them. It is that audience

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that we love. APPLAUSE. Specifically Middle

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Scotland and Middle England and comfortable shoes and light rain

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were. Well, Omid's memoir Hopeful,

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is published on August 28. Thanks to all my guests -

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Omid Djalili, That's just about it from

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Edinburgh Nights this year. But dry your eyes, there's more

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comedy, music and me in Edinburgh Later, which you can see exclusively

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online at bbc.co.uk/Edinburgh And you can catch up with all

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of our Edinburgh Festival coverage We leave you here

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on BBC Two with the heavenly voices of the Tshwane Gospel Choir who are

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playing at Assembly till Monday.

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