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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
Hello, you, and welcome to Insert Name Here, the show where, each week, | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
we chew over a group of people united by one simple thing - their name. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:30 | |
Joining me are six people who've brought | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
some of the loveliest names I've ever heard. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
Please welcome, Jennifer Saunders, Suzannah Lipscomb | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
and their team captain, Josh Widdicombe, and over on the other side, | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
Romesh Ranganathan, Jessica Hynes and their captain, Richard Osman. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
Well, tonight's name is one that's on everyone lips. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
It's the name of our future queen, the name of the biggest pop star | 0:00:51 | 0:00:54 | |
in the world and it almost sounds like cake. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
Mmm! Cake. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:59 | |
Tonight's name is Kate. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:00 | |
Ahhh! | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
So I'm going to be testing the panellists' knowledge | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
of all things Kate and, just to be clear, | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
we are going to include Catherines, Katies and even the odd Cat, | 0:01:08 | 0:01:11 | |
so who might be coming up on tonight's show? | 0:01:11 | 0:01:13 | |
Well, we've got models, actresses, princesses, | 0:01:13 | 0:01:17 | |
a complete Burke and a massive arse. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:21 | |
The teams have to try and win as many Kates as they can. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
At the end of the show, the winning team gets the honour | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
of deciding who's officially the best Kate of all time. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
So, Jennifer, do you know any Kates? | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
Well, do you know, I thought I didn't, | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
but I looked at my phone on the way here and realised I knew about, | 0:01:34 | 0:01:38 | |
actually, everybody on the screen then, apart from Katie Hopkins. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:42 | |
-That's a very important "but" there. -I don't really know Kate Middleton, | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
that's the only one I'm pretending to know. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
So she's not on your phone? | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
-She is, but she... -She's on your phone?! | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
Of course she's not on my phone, you fool! | 0:01:52 | 0:01:56 | |
It's weird, cos I don't know any of them, | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
but I am very good friends with Katie Hopkins. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:01 | |
-I can see how you'd bowl along rather merrily, the two of you. -Oh, we are. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:06 | |
Thinking about just doing a double act. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
Coffee And Cream. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
Which one are you? | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
Now, Suzannah, you're our guest historian. As our guest historian, | 0:02:16 | 0:02:19 | |
are there any weird and wonderful Kates we should know about before we commence? | 0:02:19 | 0:02:23 | |
I've got a story, but it's probably really interesting to somebody who's | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
really interested in the 16th century, so just bear with me. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
-Oh, I am! -Oh, yes! | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
-Miss, I am, Miss! I am. -Now we're talking. Settle in, everybody. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:35 | |
-Really exciting! We've got geeks everywhere, it's great. -Right. OK. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
Give us your 16th century. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
It's Catherine Parr, Henry VIII's sixth wife and it's my favourite | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
of his wives, because she was going to be the third wife | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
to be on the block, there was a coup against her, guards turned up. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:49 | |
The way she got out of it was she very cleverly explained to Henry | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
that he was the husband and lord, he knew everything, | 0:02:52 | 0:02:55 | |
and the speech that she gave pretty much is a source | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
for Shakespeare's Taming Of The Shrew. | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
At the end of Taming Of The Shrew, Katherina, the Kiss Me Kate, | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
gives this speech where she says to her husband, "You're brilliant | 0:03:02 | 0:03:05 | |
"and I bow to everything," and that seems to be | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
coming from actual fact, that Catherine Parr said that. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
-So Shakespeare nicked it, essentially? -Yeah. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
Shakespeare was good at that. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:13 | |
I've always thought that guy was a fake. Overrated. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:17 | |
Josh, Richard, in terms of greatest Kates of all time, | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
any early thoughts? | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
I'm hoping she comes up - | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
my sister, Kate. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
-Sweet. -Yeah. Thank you. -Just your sister doesn't qualify here. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:28 | |
-I'm sorry, Josh. -What? Really? | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
I'll go with Kate Bush, then. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:33 | |
-Richard, how about you? -Kate Humble from Autumnwatch. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
No, she's a proper Kate. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
Kate Humble is everything a Kate should be. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
She looks like a Kate, she's sweet, she's clever, she's efficient. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:46 | |
-Lovely curly hair. -Do you think Kate Humble as well, Jennifer? | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
-She does as well. -JOSH: -No, you're on my team! Go with my sister! | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
-RICHARD: -Don't say, "Go with my sister." | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
I know you're from Devon, mate. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
Let's get on with the show. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
It's time to pick a Kate. | 0:03:58 | 0:03:59 | |
Four categories each concealing four very different Kates. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:03 | |
Richard, who would you like out of this lot? You've got a Royal Kate... | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
-What do we think? -Go with your instinct. -Go on, Richard. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
-Shall we go Super Kate? -OK, fine. -Great. Why not? | 0:04:11 | 0:04:14 | |
OK. You have picked Super Kate | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
and chosen fast-living supermodel Kate Moss. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
-Yes! -Let's have a look at her stats. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
-AUDIENCE GROANS -Whoa! | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
I said that would get that reaction. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
Whoa, Sue! That's not cool, man. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
Surely the most successful British model of all time, | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
appearing on the cover of Vogue over 300 times, beating me by... | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
over 300 times. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
What is the secret of Kate Moss's beauty regime? | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
Is it those two cucumbers? You know, those two cucumbers? | 0:04:47 | 0:04:51 | |
-Not the two cucumbers. -We've moved on, we've moved on. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
We've moved on from Jackie magazine in the '70s. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
Do you not do the two cucumbers? | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
Josh, it's two courgettes now. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
And some kale. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:03 | |
Some quinoa down the nose. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
She was having an ice water facial, | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
which is basically sticking your head in a bucket of ice water. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
As far as Kate Moss is concerned, Guantanamo's just a spa. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:16 | |
There are lots of stories attached to Kate's partying. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
Moss's friend, Jess Hallett, recounted, | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
"One night in South Africa, I remember phoning downstairs | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
"and saying, 'Can we have an alarm call for 7am, please?' | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
"And they said, 'That's in five minutes, madam.' " | 0:05:26 | 0:05:29 | |
When she was dating Johnny Depp, | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
they ordered their hotel room bath to be filled with champagne. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:36 | |
What happened to it? | 0:05:36 | 0:05:37 | |
They immediately thought this actually sounded better than it is. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
Do you think, if you bathed in it, you'd get drunk by just kind of absorbing it? | 0:05:41 | 0:05:45 | |
They didn't get into the bath. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:46 | |
Maybe accidentally it got emptied by somebody who was cleaning the room. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
-Oh, the chambermaid. -The maid drained the bath. -Amazing. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:53 | |
That maid, what emotional rollercoaster did she go through? | 0:05:53 | 0:05:56 | |
Because if she's emptied it, she obviously doesn't know | 0:05:56 | 0:05:59 | |
it's champagne, so what did she think it was? | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
You said that she thought they filled the bath with their own fizzy urine? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:06 | |
-An entire bath? -These two have had one hell of a night. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:10 | |
They've filled their bath with their own urine, | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
I'm just going to pull the plug and hope they forget about it. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:16 | |
That's what a good maid does. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
If I'd got a bath full of champagne, | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
I'd at least put the "Do Not Disturb" thing outside, wouldn't you? | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
-Yes. -You're not Kate Moss and Johnny Depp, though, really | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
and mentally thinking there, are you? They're just rock and roll. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
They're not going to go, "Oh, quickly, | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
"because of the champagne bath, Joshie, run back and put | 0:06:32 | 0:06:36 | |
" 'Do Not Disturb' on the door, darling, will you?" | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
Can I just double-check that the champagne bath has been arranged for | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
-when I've finished the recording? -Absolutely! | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
Between 2005 and 2007, | 0:06:44 | 0:06:45 | |
Kate was in a relationship with Libertines singer Pete Doherty. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
What were Kate and Pete stopped from doing at London Zoo? | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
Oh, no! | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
-Not that! -They didn't fill a rhino with champagne, did they? | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
-Were they trying to make some animal smoke? -That is absolutely... | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
-Well, I'll give you that. -Were they giving monkeys blowbacks? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
No... | 0:07:03 | 0:07:04 | |
Sorry, what do you mean by blowbacks? | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
Never has the last syllable of a sentence been so important. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
They weren't trying to give monkeys blowbacks, no, | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
but what they were doing, were trying to get the penguins high | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
by flicking hash into the enclosure. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
-The penguins? -No, the penguins weren't flicking it at Kate Moss. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:28 | |
It would be quite hard with no opposable thumbs. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
The sad story is that's how Pete Doherty got into it. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
He was totally clean and then the penguins got him into it. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:36 | |
-It was a gateway drug. -"Hey, Pete, take some of this." | 0:07:36 | 0:07:39 | |
"Pete, have some of that." | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
They don't call me Happy Feet for nothing. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
-Right, it's time to play for the Kate. Here she is. -Come on, guys. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:55 | |
What's unusual about the Lucian Freud artwork that Kate Moss owns? | 0:07:55 | 0:08:00 | |
She's pregnant...in it. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:02 | |
-No, she's not pregnant in it. -It's a tattoo! | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
It's a tattoo. Well done, absolutely right. It is a tattoo. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:08 | |
Congratulations. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:09 | |
The tattoo was personally inked by Lucian Freud, said to be worth | 0:08:09 | 0:08:12 | |
one million quid. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
There you go. It's a pair of swallows. Chop it off?! | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
If I had a tattoo that was worth a million quid, | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
I'd chop that off straight away. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
-You'd chop it off your own back?! -Yeah! You could sow that up. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:27 | |
A million quid. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:28 | |
Well done, Josh. You win the Kate. Congratulations! | 0:08:28 | 0:08:32 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
-Well done. -There you are. -Now, Josh, what would you like to go for? | 0:08:34 | 0:08:38 | |
I think we should go Royal Kate, because we've got a historian, | 0:08:38 | 0:08:42 | |
the Great Kate? | 0:08:42 | 0:08:43 | |
You don't need to whisper | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
-because it's not University Challenge. -Oh, OK! | 0:08:45 | 0:08:49 | |
I'm very good at University challenge! | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
I think people have worked out it's not University Challenge. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
-We've got to go Great Kate. We got to go Great Kate. -Great Kate. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
You've chosen Russia's second greatest love machine | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
Empress Catherine the Great. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
There she is, just about to shout, "Expelliarmus!" | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
Let's have a look at her stats. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:09 | |
Oh, well. None out of three ain't bad. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
So, Suzannah, is she the greatest Russian ruler ever, do you think? | 0:09:20 | 0:09:23 | |
There's lots of them called the Great, that's kind of common. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
-There are some better names. -Like what? | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
Well, I quite like Yuri the Long Arms, Dmitri the... | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
Dmitri... Dmitri's name I've forgotten. Dmitri... | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
It's probably not one of the best ones. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
Dmitri the Forgettable, I think. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
See, that's it! | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Catherine the Great was Empress of Russia from 1762 until 1796. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:47 | |
She holds the record at Russia's longest ruling female leader. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
She had a number of palaces, Catherine. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
The Winter Palace, St Petersburg, was the largest, | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
thought to have had over 1,000 rooms. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
What was unusual about the roof of the palace? | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
Thatch. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:00 | |
-Which palace was it? -This was the Winter Palace. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
I've been there, I've been there. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
The one outside St Petersburg. I've been there. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
-Do you remember the roof? -I don't remember the roof. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
I wasn't on the roof. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:10 | |
You said that very quickly, as if you were definitely on the roof! | 0:10:10 | 0:10:13 | |
Was it the style of it? | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
It's not the style, it was something that was on it. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
-Jennifer Saunders! -No. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
The answer is she kept cows on it. They wanted a fresh supply of milk. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
Surely 1,000 rooms, Suzannah, has got to be | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
-one of the biggest royal palaces of all time? -It's pretty big. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
-Although there's actually one in China that's got 9,000 rooms. -Whoa! | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
So the Winter Palace is tiny by comparison. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
When you've got 9,000 rooms, which ones would you double up on first? | 0:10:33 | 0:10:36 | |
I reckon three toilets, max. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:38 | |
I'd go all toilets, except for one room. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
But what an exciting day when someone came out and you said, | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
"I'm in the sitting room, find me!" | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
Catherine was believed to have had some rather unusual furniture | 0:10:49 | 0:10:53 | |
in Gatchina Palace. What was unusual about the furniture? | 0:10:53 | 0:10:56 | |
Was it blow-up? | 0:10:56 | 0:10:57 | |
Did she have the first futon? | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
-It was erotic in nature. -Did she have what we would call...? | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
She had a special chair! | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
There were several special chairs, yes. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
-Special as in a VERY special chair. -Well, -I -think they're pretty special. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
There are some extraordinary pictures of the furniture. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
Here's a lovely table, for example. There it is. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
-JOSH: -Wow! -JENNIFER: -Oh, my goodness. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
I mean, that WOULD be a talking point. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:20 | |
If I went round to Richard's house, and that was in the sitting-room... | 0:11:20 | 0:11:23 | |
This would have made the most entertaining episode | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
of Antiques Roadshow ever, by the way. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
What do you think she might have referred to that table as? | 0:11:28 | 0:11:32 | |
"We're going to have tea on the..."? | 0:11:32 | 0:11:33 | |
"Cockee table." | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
-You've got cockee table books. -Cocky, balls and booby table. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
I've got a lovely chair for you, as well, while we're at it. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
Take a closer look at that. Oh! | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
-JESSICA: -Hello! | 0:11:43 | 0:11:44 | |
As David Dickinson would say, "A real bobby dazzler." | 0:11:44 | 0:11:48 | |
That's amazing! | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
You inspired to get any of these pieces | 0:11:53 | 0:11:54 | |
to brighten up your bedsit, Josh? What do you reckon? | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
What do you mean by my "bedsit"?! | 0:11:57 | 0:11:58 | |
Well, I've got certain images that come to mind | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
when I think of you at home. You know, bar fire... | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
I don't want to hear about your personal life, Sue. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
-If that chair was available, I would get it. -Would you sit on it? | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
I don't know what I'm meant to say about the chair. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
-You've gone very high-pitched. -I know! | 0:12:11 | 0:12:14 | |
I'm not going to lie to you, I can't wait | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
until I'm back at my bedsit, on my own. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
Just the bedsit - that's your only piece of furniture. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:22 | |
-Yes! -Does that still exist, that chair? -Sadly, sadly not. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
The contents sort of disappeared after it was looted by the Nazis | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
-in the 1940s. -But copies can be made, Josh. -Yeah. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:32 | |
Imagine... Imagine if you made that from IKEA and you went, | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
"I've definitely got this wrong. That can't be right." | 0:12:35 | 0:12:38 | |
So what did Catherine prescribe as a cure for insomnia? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:42 | |
Half an hour on that chair, you'd be out like a light. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
It's along those lines. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:46 | |
Having sex six times a day, she thought, | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
was a great cure for insomnia. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
You know what? Even if it's not, it's worth a go. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:53 | |
Catherine had an active sex life, with a number of lovers. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:56 | |
Not that you'd guess from this portrait. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
That...is the worst bedhead I have ever seen. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:03 | |
You know when you're on a rollercoaster | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
and the photo gets taken | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
and you're, like, going along and your hair's out? | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
Is that a normal sort of portrait of the era, Suzannah? | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
Yeah, this is the thing. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:13 | |
Don't believe anything the scientists say | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
about there being scientific ideas of judging beauty. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
It clearly is determined by when you live in history, what turns you on. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:21 | |
They thought this was REALLY hot. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
If I get a time machine, | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
where should I head to? | 0:13:25 | 0:13:26 | |
Middle Earth. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
Time to play for the Kate. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
Catherine the Great loved all kinds of fun. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:43 | |
What new form of entertainment did she install | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
in one of her St Petersburg palaces? | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
-Bowling. -Oh, laser quest! | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
-Tennis. -It's snowy. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
Skiing! Luge. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:53 | |
Yes, I'm going to give you that. It was an ice slide. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
She had it installed in the grounds of her palaces. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
Made out of wood, up to 70 feet in height, 500 feet long, | 0:13:58 | 0:14:02 | |
the slides were iced and then thrill-seekers would sit | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
on a block of ice covered in a mat, | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
and travel at speeds in excess of 50mph. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:10 | |
No brakes, | 0:14:10 | 0:14:11 | |
just 100% shit yourself. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:14 | |
Oh, that's where that photo of her was taken. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:17 | |
Sorry, can I just say I know that wasn't a photo, | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
before people tweet in? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
Completely separately, has anyone ever been on... | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
You know, like, in a water park, you know, where the slide | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
-goes down vertically? -Yes. -Yeah, man. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
-I can't do that. -Why? | 0:14:30 | 0:14:31 | |
Because it's...! How can you...? How does anyone do that? | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
-It's just gravity. Just takes you. -Oh! | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
Congratulations, Richard's team, you win the Catherine. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
-RICHARD: -Oh, well done. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
So this one's for both teams to play. Richard, who would you like? | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
-We'll go for Royal Kate, please. -Royal Kate. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
And you've chosen right royal Catherine Elizabeth Middleton, | 0:14:54 | 0:14:57 | |
Duchess of Cambridge, | 0:14:57 | 0:14:58 | |
and Princess of Middle-class Aspiration. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
Let's have a look at her stats. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
Kate went to St Andrew's Prep School in Berkshire. What record... | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
What school record does she hold? | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
Best Marryer? | 0:15:19 | 0:15:20 | |
-No, it's a sporting achievement. -Discus. -No. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
-Shot. Hammer. -Not the long jump, the...? | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
-High jump. -Is the right answer, Jennifer. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
-Absolutely right. -Thank you so much. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:29 | |
She almost lost the high jump record last summer | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
but, luckily, Royal protection guards were there | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
and able to gun down the rival... | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
at the very last minute. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:37 | |
Does anyone here have a school record for anything? | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
We all got awards, my school year, for what you were best at. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:44 | |
But I wasn't good enough at anything. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
So they just gave me the Good Egg Award. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Aww! | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
For just being an all-round good egg. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:51 | |
For that, I'm going to give you a bonus. Kat Slater from EastEnders. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:55 | |
-That's the most patronising award I've ever seen. -Kat Slater! | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
Pure sympathy. APPLAUSE | 0:15:58 | 0:15:59 | |
Pure sympathy. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
Kate married William in April 2011. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:04 | |
Did any of you celebrate the royal wedding? Did any of you do anything? | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
-No, I was in Birmingham. -You were probably 12. -Not as... | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
"I was probably 12"?! | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
In 2011?! | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
-13? -14? | 0:16:14 | 0:16:15 | |
-What were you doing in Birmingham? -I was doing... | 0:16:15 | 0:16:17 | |
A project? A school project? | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
Yeah, I was walking around Spaghetti Junction with a clipboard, | 0:16:21 | 0:16:24 | |
ticking things off. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:25 | |
-AS JOSH: -"I'm just noting down what each building is used for | 0:16:25 | 0:16:28 | |
"for my geography coursework." | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
-VAGUELY LIKE JOSH: -"Retail." | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
HE can do the voice - THAT is not good enough, come on! | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
-WEST COUNTRY ACCENT: -"Retail... | 0:16:35 | 0:16:38 | |
"Warehousing." | 0:16:38 | 0:16:39 | |
Now, a royal wedding serves two main purposes. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
Firstly to ensure the orderly succession of the throne. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:47 | |
And secondly to allow a small amount of tasteful commemorative items | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
to make their way to the shops. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:51 | |
How did General Electric mark the occasion? | 0:16:51 | 0:16:55 | |
A 21-bulb salute. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
A fridge. They did a special fridge. | 0:16:58 | 0:17:00 | |
-They absolutely did. Here it is. -Oh! -No way. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
-JENNIFER: -Oh! -AUDIENCE GASPS | 0:17:03 | 0:17:04 | |
-JOSH: -I tell you what, though, | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
it really does bring my bedsit alive, that fridge. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
I wonder how her and William sort of communicate to each other | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
that they're stepping out of line. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:14 | |
When I'm at home with my wife and I say something like, | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
"While you're in the kitchen, can you make me a cup of tea?" | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
She'll go, "Oh, of course, Your Majesty(!)" | 0:17:19 | 0:17:23 | |
If they do that to each other, they say, "Yeah, OK. Sweet." | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
Let me share a few of my royal wedding souvenir favourites with you. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:32 | |
Like these royal wedding teabags. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
-JOSH: -Wow. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:37 | |
-JENNIFER: -Oh, that's horrible, actually, isn't it, | 0:17:37 | 0:17:39 | |
when you look at it? What are they bathing in? | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
Yeah, that is disgusting. Who goes two teabags? | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
That's going to be too strong! Absolute idiots! | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
And the worst thing is, | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
the maid came along and actually tipped it out. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
Next up, royal wedding condoms. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:52 | |
There they are. Not sure what the tag line is. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:56 | |
Presumably, "Someday, my prince will come." | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
There was also this commemorative mug from China. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:03 | |
See if you can spot the mistake. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
Time now to play for Upper Kate. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:13 | |
Kate's family recently created their very own Middleton coat of arms. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:17 | |
What I want to know is, what is on it? | 0:18:17 | 0:18:19 | |
Josh and Richard, if you look under your desk, you'll find | 0:18:19 | 0:18:22 | |
you've got a blank shield and some coloured pens. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
Give us your best guess as to what is on the heraldic shield. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:27 | |
We've got appropriate music, and the time starts now. | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
MUSIC: Rule, Britannia! By James Thomson | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
Do you know this? What is it? | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
That's it. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:39 | |
-SUZANNAH: -I actually know it. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:43 | |
SUE WHISTLES ALONG TO THE MUSIC | 0:18:46 | 0:18:50 | |
OK, time is up! | 0:18:50 | 0:18:53 | |
Right, Richard, please show us your heraldic shield! | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
-That's not a euphemism. -Here's what we've got. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
We've got a penguin smoking a spliff there, from Jess. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:02 | |
-What are these? -They're oars. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:04 | |
-We have oars to represent... -Just to represent oars, really. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
-We have, from Romesh... -Somebody wearing a crown. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:11 | |
Royal, for Royal. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:12 | |
And money. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
I'm going to take my eyes from that with good reason | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
-and let's have a look. -We've got two options. -Yeah. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:19 | |
Jennifer has drawn a coat and some arms. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:23 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
Would you like to explain this one? | 0:19:28 | 0:19:30 | |
Basically, when they wanted to create one, | 0:19:30 | 0:19:32 | |
they had to think of things that the Middletons were interested in. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
-Apparently they're interested in hills... -Hills? | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
And outdoor pursuits. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:39 | |
Three acorns, that's the three children. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
-Red and blue. -Red and blue because they live in England. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:44 | |
-UK. -They support Crystal Palace. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:45 | |
Well, let's have a look at the real one, see how close you got. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
No surprise to see that yours... CHEERING | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
-Very good. -Well done! | 0:19:51 | 0:19:54 | |
The golden chevron, of course, | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
to represent the family's love of gold and digging. And... | 0:19:56 | 0:19:59 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
..two white chevrons, there, as you say the hills and mountains, | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
their love of outdoor pursuits. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
Basically, Josh's team win the Kate. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
-Good work! -So... | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
Time now for our teams to confront the Insert Name Here fruit machine. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:18 | |
It's loaded with all my favourite Kates | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
and our teams must match the extraordinary fact | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 | |
to the extraordinary Kate. So let's spin. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
OK, you've got Tom Cruise escapee Katie Holmes, | 0:20:25 | 0:20:29 | |
wildlife enthusiast - true Kate - Kate Humble, | 0:20:29 | 0:20:33 | |
and professional contrarian Katie Hopkins. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:36 | |
Yes! | 0:20:36 | 0:20:37 | |
Which Kate has a pathological fear of hard-boiled eggs? | 0:20:38 | 0:20:43 | |
-Katie thingy... Kate... -That's not narrowing it down. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:47 | |
-That's a point. -Kate, the ex-Tom Cruise Kate. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
I think I'm definitely sure it's her. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
I just have a sixth sense about it. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
So we're building the jeopardy, here. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
So we know for a fact that it is Katie Holmes. | 0:20:56 | 0:20:59 | |
-JOSH: -So let's come to us for our answer. I'm going to go with... | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
It's not Kate Humble, she's the perfect Kate, so... | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
-Yeah, she's not going to be... -She'd have to eat eggs for her job. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
She has to eat eggs for her job! That's what she does. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
I've watched Springwatch, | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
she goes up trees, goes into the nests with a frying pan... | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
-JOSH: -That's how she identifies the breed of the bird. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:17 | |
Starling, I think! | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
Well, unless she doesn't like to see them boiled. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
-Oh, yeah. -It's only hard-boiled eggs. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:25 | |
At what point during the boiling process does she start freaking out? | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
-I would say six minutes. -That is Hopkins at 5.59. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
She's weird, she's weird. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:32 | |
-We'll go Hopkins. -It is actually... | 0:21:32 | 0:21:35 | |
Kate Humble! | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
Yeah, Kate Humble, quintessential Kate, | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
loves an omelette but states, | 0:21:40 | 0:21:41 | |
"I have a pathological fear of hard-boiled eggs." | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
It's right up there, apparently, | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
with her pathological fear of Bill Oddie. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:54 | |
Nobody wins the Kate there, let's spin again. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
OK, you've got Henry VIII's wife number one, Catherine of Aragon, | 0:21:57 | 0:22:01 | |
the best singer in the world, absolutely ever, Kate Bush, | 0:22:01 | 0:22:06 | |
and head of the mighty Kardashian clan Caitlin Jenner. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:10 | |
Which of these Kates owned a pet monkey? | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
-Josh's team. -I do know this! -Oh, you do? | 0:22:12 | 0:22:16 | |
Let's talk it through first. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:17 | |
So, Kate Bush, what is it, had a pet... | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
Maybe Kate Bush had a pet monkey as well. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:22 | |
You're saying as well, which means you know, | 0:22:22 | 0:22:24 | |
you know that Catherine of Aragon had a pet monkey. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:27 | |
-Yeah. -Yes, well, there we go. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:28 | |
I... | 0:22:28 | 0:22:30 | |
I was going to talk it through for dramatic effect, | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
-but we've decided against that. -Why do that? | 0:22:32 | 0:22:34 | |
Why have jokes when you can just have statements? | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
Can I just say, I have a sixth sense | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
that it's Catherine of Aragon. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
-RICHARD: -I know Suzannah thinks it's Catherine of Aragon, | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
but I have news for her - monkeys didn't exist. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
-They were invented in... -The 1950s. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
Yeah, the 1950s, by Coca-Cola. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
Everybody knows that! | 0:22:52 | 0:22:54 | |
Kate Bush seems like she would have a monkey, right? | 0:22:54 | 0:22:58 | |
Are you tending towards Kate Bush? | 0:22:58 | 0:22:59 | |
As always in life, Kate Bush is usually the answer. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:02 | |
But I don't want to... It's not a pet monkey, though, | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
it's a monkey that can come and go as it pleases. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
-Yes, exactly. -So you're saying Kate Bush. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
We're going to go with... | 0:23:08 | 0:23:09 | |
With the right answer, with Catherine of Aragon. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
And in many ways you were right to go with the right answer, | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
because it's the right answer! | 0:23:15 | 0:23:16 | |
We have evidence that monkeys were invented before 1950 | 0:23:21 | 0:23:24 | |
by the Coca-Cola Company, and there it is. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
She certainly looks enraptured by her pet(!) | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
-ROMESH: -Right, that looks like the monkey | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
is a lot more into the relationship than she is. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
Actually, this picture is really cool | 0:23:34 | 0:23:35 | |
because it actually has a message behind it as well, | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
because what the monkey is supposed to be reaching for, | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
you can't see it, | 0:23:41 | 0:23:42 | |
is actually not her breast but her crucifix. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
And she's holding a coin in her hand. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:46 | |
Normally the monkey would go for the coin, | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
and he's going for the crucifix. So it's church over money. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
But also it's church over... | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
guess who's on the other side of the coin... | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
-Henry VIII! -Henry VIII! -Political monkey! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
And so, basically, this picture is a massive sort of middle finger up. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:00 | |
-This is like 3-2-1, isn't it? -Loving that! | 0:24:00 | 0:24:03 | |
And you win the Kate, congratulations. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
Good fact! | 0:24:06 | 0:24:07 | |
Strong fact. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:10 | |
OK, everybody, let's play Finish The Fact. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
I'll start by reading out a Kate-based nugget. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:17 | |
You buzz in when you think you know how it ends. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
First up, European heavyweight Catherine I of Russia. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:24 | |
-Yes, Richard? -To close her Tinder account. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:33 | |
-Nope. -Did he do... | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
You know that thing where if your parents catch you with a cigarette | 0:24:36 | 0:24:39 | |
and then they make you smoke the whole pack? | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
-Did he make her sleep with all of the Russians... -All of Russia?! | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
..so that she was like put off them forever? | 0:24:45 | 0:24:47 | |
No, she did have to sleep beside something. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
Did he make her sleep on the roof beside the cows? | 0:24:55 | 0:24:58 | |
-No, this is Catherine I of Russia. -Same thing, Sue. | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
No, forced her to sleep beside... | 0:25:00 | 0:25:03 | |
Happy days! | 0:25:05 | 0:25:07 | |
Peter the Great had his wife's lover killed | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
and his head chopped off and placed in a large jar of alcohol. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
Peter insisted that the jar remain on Catherine's bedside table | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
as a reminder of her adultery. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
Even worse, if you just reach for that sip of water in the night... | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
It wasn't in the alcohol for long, though, | 0:25:21 | 0:25:23 | |
because the housekeeper came and poured it away. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:26 | |
Sadly, no Kate won there. We go onto the next one. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
Next, Oscar-winning Aussie Cate Blanchett. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:31 | |
Did he say that, | 0:25:37 | 0:25:39 | |
"Well, you know, me and the Queen, we're together, | 0:25:39 | 0:25:42 | |
"but it's a kind of open relationship"? | 0:25:42 | 0:25:45 | |
He asked her how to fix something. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
-RICHARD: -Oh, the 1998 Cup final! | 0:25:47 | 0:25:49 | |
Think electrical item. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
-Yeah? -Toaster! | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
-Oh, no. -Was it his Kate and William fridge? | 0:25:55 | 0:25:57 | |
No, he asked her how to fix his DVD player. | 0:25:57 | 0:26:02 | |
2008, Kate was introduced to Prince Philip | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
as someone who worked in film. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
He asked her, | 0:26:08 | 0:26:09 | |
"There's a cord sticking out the back of my DVD player, | 0:26:09 | 0:26:12 | |
"might you tell me where it goes?" | 0:26:12 | 0:26:14 | |
Nice, however, to see Philip being muddled rather than racist, though. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:18 | |
Sadly nobody wins the Kate, but one more from Cate Blanchett. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:22 | |
Cate Blanchett named her third child... | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
-Romesh? -With very little care, because you don't care by the third. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:31 | |
She named her third child Ignatius. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
There you go, what did I tell you? | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
-Where did she get the name from? -I think I know the answer to that. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:40 | |
I know it's boring. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:41 | |
I imagine it's from Confederacy Of Dunces, is it, the book? | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
It's from the children's book | 0:26:43 | 0:26:44 | |
Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants... | 0:26:44 | 0:26:47 | |
..which I'm sure you have on your bookshelf! | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
I read all of the Captain Underpants books | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
with my kids when they were little. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:54 | |
-Did you? -Yeah, they're a perfectly good read. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
I don't remember Ignatius. | 0:26:56 | 0:26:58 | |
I wish I did, I would've just won a Kate | 0:26:58 | 0:27:00 | |
and my kids would've paid off, finally. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:02 | |
You should never, ever choose names from kids' books, | 0:27:02 | 0:27:05 | |
as I was saying to my niece, | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
Usborne Book Of Train Facts. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:08 | |
So, we've come to the end of the show | 0:27:11 | 0:27:12 | |
and I can tell you that our winners tonight with the most Kates | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
are...Josh's team! Congratulations. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
CHEERING | 0:27:18 | 0:27:19 | |
Whoa, came back there! Good work. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:22 | |
Josh, this is the moment... | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
-This is your moment. -Oh, look how happy Jennifer looks. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:28 | |
-You're delighted! -I'm so delighted. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
-JOSH: -So, do we now pick the best Kate? | 0:27:30 | 0:27:32 | |
You get to pick the best Kate of all time. | 0:27:32 | 0:27:34 | |
It's simple after this. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:36 | |
Ice slide, cows on the roof, racy furniture. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:41 | |
That only means one thing - Catherine the Great. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:44 | |
Ladies, if you're watching, that's how to please a Widdicombe! | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
I will absolutely accept that the greatest Kate of all time | 0:27:49 | 0:27:51 | |
is Catherine the Great. Well done, Catherine the Great. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:54 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:27:54 | 0:27:57 | |
I sort of feel she had enough plaudits already, but there you go. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:02 | |
So, for our winner, I'm going to give you this - | 0:28:02 | 0:28:04 | |
these limited-edition royal wedding crown jewel condoms, | 0:28:04 | 0:28:08 | |
-one for each of you. There you go. -Oh, thank you. | 0:28:08 | 0:28:11 | |
Don't put them on your head! My thanks to all my guests. | 0:28:11 | 0:28:14 | |
Special thanks to all the Kates here, there and everywhere. | 0:28:14 | 0:28:19 | |
I know the bedsit they're going to! | 0:28:19 | 0:28:21 | |
And thanks to you at home for watching. Goodnight. | 0:28:21 | 0:28:24 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:28:24 | 0:28:27 |