Episode 3 Outtake TV


Episode 3

Anne Robinson presents outtakes from television favourites including A Question of Sport, Blue Peter and EastEnders, plus a TV golden moment from the BBC newsroom.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

-What do you need?

-I need...

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Do you need aspirin, paracetamol, codeine? I dunno, Pepto-Bismol?

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Oh, is it...oh-ah...

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-Uggh!

-Arrgh!

-I'm so sorry!

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APPLAUSE

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Hello, and welcome to Outtake TV.

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Another collection of the bits you haven't seen,

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together with several more they'd much rather you never saw again.

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MUSIC: "Smile" By Lily Allen

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I can't take it!

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And now we're in the spirit of things,

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let's turn the spotlight on

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the BBC's drama department and Jane Eyre.

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As you'd expect, the costumes are faultlessly authentic,

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the settings dangerously accurate.

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Shame about the actors.

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You still owe me wages.

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-BLEEP.

-What do I say?

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LAUGHTER

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'Ah, there you are'.

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Is Adele in bed?

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-Ah,

-BLEEP!

-I can't remember!

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LAUGHTER

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What has happened here?

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Master was reading in bed...

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And I've forgotten completely what happens next.

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JANE GIGGLES

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-THUD

-Ow!

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LAUGHTER BLEEP!

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-I'm only gone for 24 hours and I return to this?

-BLEEP!

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LAUGHTER

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BLEEP!

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Yeah? Cut?

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-LAUGHTER

-"Cut?" I don't remember Charlotte Bronte ever writing that.

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And while we're in horse mode, let's head off to Royal Ascot.

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Where would that great sporting occasion be

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without the traditional "little Willy" jokes?

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Jodie, in the Royal Hunt Cup, you'll back your husband's horse?

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Yes, I think I've got another one, but I can't remember.

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I've lost so much. I'm not going to bet again.

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We're going to leave you and Willy because you look so fine.

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You look so fine together,

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we think that is the scene we should leave you with.

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LAUGHTER

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This lady had a bet in this race. Can you tell me your name?

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-Sheila.

-Ha-ha-ha, honestly(?)

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Honestly.

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-And you've backed?

-Roxanne.

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Earlier you told me that you were going to back Roxanne

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cos your name was Roxanne - I've been duped!

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Oh, sorry. Yeah.

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-And why are you backing Roxanne?

-I just fancied the name.

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And looking at the new course today, what do you think of it?

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Oh, I think it'll win.

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LAUGHTER

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I get the feeling, had you not been such a willowy beautiful thing,

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you would have forsaken the catwalk and been a professional sportswoman.

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Absolutely! It would have been show jumping, cos I gave up show jumping...

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-Hello.

-Oh, hello. It's my beer stand!

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-I'm not a fly. I am not a fly.

-Hello, down there.

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-How's the weather?

-It's fine, slightly windy up here.

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Oh, it's not so windy down here.

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-LAUGHTER

-That's Jodie Kidd,

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who's 6ft 1, or if you prefer, just over 18 hands.

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And from Willy jokes, let's pan upwards to Claire of the big hats.

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She does take risks that girl.

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Rides quite well, little bit uphill, we saw a few fallers yesterday.

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Still takes a lot of jumping.

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If a horse takes off too soon they can ejaculate the jockey forward.

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LAUGHTER That happened to Jack High.

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They do what Claire, with the jockey?

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If a horse takes off too soon, they can ejaculate the jockey right forward.

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No wonder Willy Carson's so small.

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LAUGHTER

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Meanwhile the more refined atmosphere

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of A Question Of Sport.

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APPLAUSE

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Hello and welcome to A Question Of Sport.

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With q...uh, sorry!

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LAUGHTER

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I did have to be Philippa in the Olympics.

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-You're known as Philippa Funnell?

-Yes.

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LAUGHTER

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Oh, believe me, it gets a lot better.

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LAUGHTER

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Why? Why Pippa?

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Because Pippa in Greek meant...say...

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-BLEEP

-job.

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LAUGHTER

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-What d'you think?

-I think it's a female.

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Peter?

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LAUGHTER

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With what goes on today, I'm not sure.

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LAUGHTER

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I've just been watching Big Brother. Oh, my lord!

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LAUGHTER

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I hope I go before it's compulsory.

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LAUGHTER

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In this, you need to count the number of bikes you see.

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Now that's a disgrace, Sue!

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-Is that open to our own interpretation?

-Exactly!

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LAUGHTER

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What actually qualifies as a bike nowadays?

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LAUGHTER

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I don't want to read my next line cos it said,

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"This could be any type of bike".

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LAUGHTER

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You need to count the number of bikes you see.

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This can be any type of bike...

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or bicycle...

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LAUGHTER

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I can't do this...I can't. See his...

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-SUE COUGHS

-Steel yourself, come on!

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LAUGHTER

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Here's the first one.

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LAUGHTER

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In this you need to count the number of bikes...

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LAUGHTER

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-He hasn't done anything!

-He looked at me.

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He hasn't done anything!

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If I do it again, I won't look at you.

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Right.

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LAUGHTER

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Fortunately, no such innuendo from our next contributors.

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Despite the fact they go by the names of Dick and Dom.

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Hello? Hello?

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-'Hello'.

-All right, Carly?

-'Hi.'

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-How are you?

-'I'm fine.'

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Where have you been on your holidays this summer?

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'I've been in hospital.'

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LAUGHTER

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No, it's not funny!

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Window, trousers, meerkat, summer,

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-combination?

-Window, trousers, meerkat, summer, cuts the trousers?

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LAUGHTER

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BUZZER

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DOM SQUEALS

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RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

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You haven't awarded any points yet.

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MUSIC PLAYS

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You stupid fish! We haven't finished the game yet!

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He can't stop it!

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He's stuck!

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He's stuck in it!

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LAUGHTER

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And if you're wondering which one was Dick...

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Either way, on to Dick and Dom senior.

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-Now, listen.

-I'm all ears.

-I know you are, but listen anyway.

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-They're from a top television company.

-American?

-Hmm.

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-Now, listen.

-I'm all ears.

-I know you are, but listen anyway.

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They're from a top television American com...

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-HE JABBERS

-Top American television company.

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-Now, listen.

-I'm all ears.

-I know you are, but listen anyway.

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-They're from a top American TV company called Fine Spirits.

-Are they?

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No, it's a TV PROGRAMME called Fine Spirits, not a company.

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LAUGHTER

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-Now, listen.

-I'm all ears.

-I know you are, but listen anyway.

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They're from a top TV American company.

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HE JABBERS

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LAUGHTER

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Now, listen.

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Of course, no visit to children's TV would be complete,

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without popping in to Blue Peter.

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Now, we all know what the elephant did in the studio.

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Well, since then it seems the team have begun to slowly

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work their way through the animal kingdom.

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Not only do they love the green, they love the heat.

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Of course, we've got big studio lights.

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SHE SCREAMS

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-LAUGHTER

-No, no, it's OK.

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Imagine being bathed in them.

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Hopefully after all this I'll be fit for my next Have A Go Geff Challenge,

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which is boxing... Cheers, Mabel. ..which you can see on Thursday.

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If I lie down next to him, I'll have a good idea...

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-He's done a wee! Look, everyone!

-What? Oh...urgh!

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-Snake wee looks like human wee.

-I think that's a bit of poo as well.

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Dear me! That's what happens on live TV.

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-It looks like scrambled eggs!

-What's going on there?

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I've never seen that before, that's a first.

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You know what? That really smells as well.

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-Urggh!

-What has he been eating to, to...?

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-Rabbits.

-Urggh!

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LAUGHTER

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Oh my gosh! And his, his...

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-Like, Gethin, the length of his wee is longer than you.

-LAUGHTER

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Soon on Blue Peter,

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a competition to name the two new pet rabbits.

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LAUGHTER

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Next, Look North presenter Peter Levy,

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possibly not the first man in line for when David Attenborough retires.

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I have to say, I've never been as nervous in my life.

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Joining me in the studio is a six and a half foot boa constrictor

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and also a snake expert, Paul Kemp.

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-Paul, good evening to you.

-Hiya.

-I know it looks daft,

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but I had to sit over here cos I can't get any closer to you,

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I am so nervous.

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Tell me about him. What's the worst he can do?

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He can constrict, but at the size he is

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he wouldn't be dangerous unless he was around your neck.

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If...sorry I keep looking at that tongue.

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-He's smelling you.

-Is he smelling me?

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He's smelling ME, is he?

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LAUGHTER Is he all right?

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Are you sure?

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Yes. If it's an eight-foot snake then ...

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-Is, is...?

-He's OK.

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If it's an eight-foot snake then it would be possible

0:11:050:11:08

that he could eat pet rabbits in gardens maybe,

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or small dogs in gardens.

0:11:110:11:13

-He's getting agitated.

-He's not.

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Well, I am anyway. LAUGHTER

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And what you've just seen was the live version.

0:11:180:11:21

Here's Peter a few minutes earlier in rehearsal.

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PETER GASPS Oh!

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LAUGHTER

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But a real trouper, is Peter.

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He doesn't just read the news,

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he makes it up as he goes along.

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The Government insist there is no specific threat,

0:11:430:11:46

but it's reported soldiers are being brought in

0:11:460:11:49

to guard Britain's energy plants,

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after MFI discovered al-Qaeda plans to blow them up.

0:11:510:11:53

Who did?

0:11:530:11:54

MFI discovered al-Qaeda plans to blow them up.

0:11:540:11:58

-LAUGHTER

-Yes, of course, MFI.

0:11:580:12:00

Britain's top-secret furniture warehouse.

0:12:000:12:02

Time for something altogether more gentle now.

0:12:020:12:05

Amazingly, in its 34th year, it's Last Of The Summer Wine.

0:12:050:12:09

Oh, you're really very fit, Howard.

0:12:120:12:15

What makes you think you need a rowing machine?

0:12:150:12:18

Oh, you're really very fit, Howard.

0:12:210:12:25

-MUFFLED:

-Wait a minute, I haven't said me line yet.

0:12:250:12:28

LAUGHTER

0:12:280:12:30

So this is what mother meant when...

0:12:380:12:40

DIALOGUE DROWNED OUT BY TRAIN

0:12:400:12:43

Let's move on to that imaginary hospital

0:12:450:12:47

somewhere in the West Country,

0:12:470:12:49

and frankly, the last place you'd want to be if you were ill.

0:12:490:12:53

-Action!

-Arghh-ahh-arghh!

0:12:530:12:56

-BLEEP

-it hurts like hell!

0:12:560:12:58

-Is it bad? (I just said

-BLEEP,

-didn't I?)

0:12:580:13:00

LAUGHTER

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Sorry.

0:13:160:13:18

-Hi, Trisha.

-'How did it go?'

0:13:190:13:22

It went well.

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THEY LAUGH

0:13:300:13:32

-So you're an expert in parent-child relations?

-It doesn't take Freud!

0:13:350:13:38

You know nothing about having a child.

0:13:380:13:40

-You don't know how that feels.

-Really?

0:13:400:13:43

Well, you're about as close to Mozart as Elvis was...

0:13:430:13:46

LAUGHTER

0:13:460:13:50

Whaaa!

0:13:500:13:52

'Action!'

0:13:520:13:53

I'm sorry, I didn't hear "action."

0:13:570:13:59

-LAUGHTER

-I put them in properly.

0:13:590:14:03

Hello, this is Dr Griffin from Holby "Ciffy".

0:14:050:14:08

LAUGHTER

0:14:080:14:10

Can I go again? I forgot where I work.

0:14:100:14:13

Ahhh, dinner tonight at Padrino's?

0:14:150:14:19

Why, Mr Hume, you can't get enough of me, can you?

0:14:190:14:21

-Go on, then.

-You're a wonderful woman. See you later.

0:14:210:14:25

LAUGHTER

0:14:280:14:30

Hi, have you seen my mum?

0:14:340:14:36

Um...I've forgotten my line.

0:14:360:14:38

Bum.

0:14:400:14:42

-'No, you can't say bum.'

-I'm not allowed... Sorry.

0:14:420:14:47

This is your local anaesthetic. Once it's done, we'll begin.

0:14:490:14:55

So your dad drives lollies?

0:14:550:14:58

LAUGHTER

0:14:580:14:59

And from Holby we jump in our 'lolly'

0:15:010:15:04

and head off down the M4 to Albert Square,

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where things are going just as badly.

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CREAKING

0:15:170:15:19

LAUGHTER

0:15:190:15:21

-Your going to pay for this!

-Fiver for the lot?

0:15:230:15:26

See the state of these, they're ruined!

0:15:260:15:28

Don't worry, you can sell them as dusters.

0:15:280:15:30

Whoa!

0:15:300:15:31

Oi, what's going on?

0:15:310:15:34

Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry.

0:15:340:15:35

-I'm really sorry, I hit you!

-That's cool, I like that.

0:15:350:15:38

LAUGHTER

0:15:380:15:39

CREAKING

0:15:410:15:44

LAUGHTER

0:15:440:15:46

Hold up, look, how about this one?

0:15:480:15:50

It's got its own garden with a built-in barbecue.

0:15:500:15:53

What about this one, three bedrooms and two reception rooms.

0:15:530:15:56

You know what that means, don't you?

0:15:560:15:58

BOTH: Pool table.

0:15:580:15:59

LAUGHTER

0:15:590:16:01

-Look, what he's thinking...

-BOTH: Sandman.

0:16:010:16:03

Hiya, yeah, I can't really hear you.

0:16:050:16:09

Hang on... You don't mind, do you?

0:16:090:16:12

No, we've both moved on, in't we?

0:16:120:16:13

-Yeah... Yep.

-BLEEP

-the wrong poxy door.

0:16:130:16:18

You're still the same poison you always were.

0:16:200:16:22

You come near him again, I'll swing for ya.

0:16:220:16:27

BANGING

0:16:280:16:30

LAUGHTER

0:16:300:16:31

-'Welcome to Vodafone...'

-I'm so sorry. It suddenly...it...

0:16:430:16:47

LAUGHTER

0:16:470:16:48

It did this!

0:16:480:16:49

INCORRECT DIAL TONE

0:16:550:16:57

LAUGHTER

0:16:570:16:58

Ouch!

0:17:010:17:02

CREAKING

0:17:060:17:07

LAUGHTER

0:17:070:17:08

The bench there, with a bigger speaking part than Billy.

0:17:090:17:12

But there's more to EastEnders than a squeaky seat.

0:17:120:17:15

There's Martin and Sonia, the Burton and Taylor of Walford.

0:17:150:17:19

-Oh, come on. What's the harm?

-No.

0:17:190:17:22

-One present!

-No, it ain't Christmas.

0:17:220:17:25

-It will be in a couple of minutes.

-It isn't Christmas until morning.

0:17:250:17:29

What...eh. Sorry.

0:17:290:17:31

-Did you get them?

-Sorry, my fault.

0:17:310:17:33

It will be Christmas in a couple of minutes.

0:17:350:17:37

It isn't Christmas until the morning.

0:17:370:17:39

Well, who says that then?

0:17:390:17:41

It's a known fact. It's not Christmas till you've had a sleep.

0:17:410:17:45

"Had a sleep"?

0:17:450:17:47

You've had a sleep, little nap!

0:17:470:17:49

That is a terrible line though, isn't it?

0:17:510:17:53

No, it's not a terrible line.

0:17:530:17:56

What are you talking about? You messed it up.

0:17:560:17:58

-COMEDY VOICE

-Blame it on the line!

0:17:580:18:01

Come on, what's the harm?

0:18:040:18:06

No, it's not Christmas yet.

0:18:060:18:07

-One present?

-No.

-It will be Christmas in a couple of minutes.

0:18:070:18:11

-No, it's not Christmas till the morning.

-Who says that?

0:18:110:18:14

It's not Christmas until you've had a sleep.

0:18:160:18:19

LAUGHTER

0:18:190:18:21

Right, ready?

0:18:260:18:28

What take are we on?

0:18:290:18:31

'And action.'

0:18:330:18:34

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, come on. What's the harm?

0:18:340:18:37

-No, it's not Christmas.

-What, one present?

0:18:370:18:39

LAUGHTER

0:18:390:18:42

Come on. What's the harm?

0:18:460:18:48

-No, it's not Christmas yet.

-One present?

-No.

0:18:480:18:51

It will be Christmas in a minute.

0:18:510:18:54

LAUGHTER

0:18:540:18:56

'Tis the season to be jolly.

0:19:040:19:07

Now, a first on Outtake TV from BBC3,

0:19:070:19:10

the new comedy, Thieves Like Us.

0:19:100:19:12

If you haven't caught it,

0:19:120:19:13

each episode is called The 'Something' Job

0:19:130:19:15

referring to the crime being committed.

0:19:150:19:18

For example, this will be known as The First Take Job.

0:19:180:19:21

Not got the plates out yet? Come on, love, shake a leg.

0:19:210:19:25

CLATTER

0:19:320:19:33

LAUGHTER

0:19:330:19:35

Oo-o-o-o-o!

0:19:400:19:43

-Well, how did the interview go?

-Ah, nuts.

0:19:440:19:47

Yeah, you can say that again.

0:19:470:19:49

LAUGHTER

0:19:500:19:52

BELL RINGS

0:19:540:19:55

'OK, that's three minutes. All change.'

0:19:550:19:59

CLINKING Ooops!

0:20:050:20:06

LAUGHTER

0:20:060:20:09

-What d'you want?

-To give up.

0:20:110:20:13

Tails it is.

0:20:130:20:14

LAUGHTER

0:20:140:20:15

So, for the last time, where is he?

0:20:170:20:19

HER STOMACH RUMBLES

0:20:190:20:21

LAUGHTER

0:20:210:20:22

That was my stomach!

0:20:220:20:25

LAUGHTER

0:20:290:20:31

Thieves Like Us suddenly going into slow motion.

0:20:360:20:39

Back to the real world and BBC News.

0:20:390:20:43

Quick look at the weather with Penny Tranter.

0:20:430:20:46

Oh, she was in a bit of a hurry. I said it was a quick look.

0:20:460:20:49

Roger Federer is through to the semi-finals

0:20:490:20:51

after a tough win over James Blake.

0:20:510:20:54

The number one took the first set.

0:20:540:20:56

That's not Roger Federer, that was actually Tony Blair!

0:20:560:20:59

Coming up after 8.30 on Breakfast,

0:21:000:21:02

well, BBC News 24, first of all,

0:21:020:21:04

has the latest news from home and abroad.

0:21:040:21:06

Get that make-up on, Simon!

0:21:060:21:08

Let's get reaction from Sir John Major who's in our Westminster studio.

0:21:090:21:13

Afternoon, thanks for joining us.

0:21:130:21:15

Seeing those pictures today, what did you think?

0:21:150:21:18

LAUGHTER

0:21:200:21:21

Let's turn our attention to, uh...

0:21:210:21:23

something a little different. Not just the camera angle.

0:21:230:21:26

What's your reaction to what's happened? Thanks for joining us.

0:21:270:21:31

Good afternoon, we'll move on to the European football

0:21:340:21:37

later in the bulletin.

0:21:370:21:39

But some news which has broken this morning, first,

0:21:390:21:41

and the Scottish premier league club Hibernian have confirmed

0:21:410:21:45

that former Scotland midfielder John Collins is their new manager.

0:21:450:21:49

Gary Lineker and Alan Hansen may have been the reason why the BBC

0:21:500:21:55

lost the, eh, rights to cover the...

0:21:550:21:58

FA Cup because of critical comments about England's performance.

0:21:580:22:02

-Have we gone all green?

-I'm not sure, is that just on our monitors?

0:22:020:22:06

In our studio, we've gone green. Sorry if we've gone green at home.

0:22:060:22:09

That's all the sport for now. Sorry about the dodgy camera work earlier.

0:22:100:22:15

Had a bit of a boozy lunch, that's all the problem it was.

0:22:150:22:17

What's the problem? It's all the rage.

0:22:170:22:20

-LAUGHTER

-See if the weather can do better.

0:22:200:22:23

Hello again. We've had some sunshine...

0:22:230:22:25

Might stay rather gloomy along the east coast,

0:22:280:22:30

but for most of us,

0:22:300:22:31

some sunshine and when the sun's out, it'll be pretty warm.

0:22:310:22:35

We'll leave you with a look at the weather prospects.

0:22:350:22:37

Here's Louise Lear.

0:22:370:22:38

It's not Louise actually, she's having her lunch,

0:22:380:22:41

but I'll do it instead.

0:22:410:22:42

That's just fine.

0:22:420:22:44

Here are the areas, these showers being whooshed in by the wind.

0:22:440:22:48

If you encounter the showers you'll get hail, thunder, but also

0:22:480:22:51

some strong gusts of wind for the next 24 hours or so.

0:22:510:22:54

That's not -99, I think that's a computer error.

0:22:540:22:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:22:580:23:01

That cloud should start to thin and break

0:23:020:23:04

and we'll see some brighter skies developing later on.

0:23:040:23:07

Sprinkly's licking my leg as we speak!

0:23:070:23:11

I'll try to continue.

0:23:110:23:12

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

0:23:130:23:15

Neither I have. Where's it gone?

0:23:150:23:17

Aw...it's down there. Thank you.

0:23:170:23:21

SHE COUGHS

0:23:220:23:25

-Oh, dear.

-Oh, poor Louise. That's not good, is it?

0:23:280:23:31

It's not, and neither is this.

0:23:310:23:33

It is one of the hardy perennials of the gardening world,

0:23:330:23:36

and promises to showcase the very latest in garden design.

0:23:360:23:39

The Chelsea Flower Show has allowed us a preview of this year's event,

0:23:390:23:43

before the 150,000 expected visitors

0:23:430:23:46

pour through the gates.

0:23:460:23:49

-I've read too much.

-No, it's nice. I'm enjoying watching you.

0:23:490:23:52

I'll just carry on. Ian Palmer met some of this year's designers.

0:23:520:23:55

I wish I'd brought my knitting!

0:23:550:23:57

Coming up after 8.30, BBC News 24

0:23:570:24:00

has the latest news from home and abroad.

0:24:000:24:02

When the presenters arrive!

0:24:020:24:03

-THEY LAUGH:

-They're normally there at this time.

0:24:030:24:06

Have a look at this. This is the latest advertisement cricket-wise.

0:24:070:24:11

It's Kevin Peterson in a television commercial...

0:24:110:24:15

Warts and all, quite literally there, with his tattoo,

0:24:150:24:18

getting ready for the Ashes. He's a little like Terminator.

0:24:180:24:21

And I can't tell you

0:24:210:24:23

some of the comments that were made in the paper

0:24:230:24:25

about googlies and things like that.

0:24:250:24:27

-May I have a "noser clook" - closer look!

-You can't even say it!

0:24:270:24:31

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, I say!

0:24:310:24:33

-I might listen to your Radio 2 show...

-Please do.

0:24:340:24:37

Maybe catch your Channel 4 chat show.

0:24:370:24:38

Watch and listen to those things where appropriate.

0:24:380:24:41

Use the appropriate sense. If I released a range of lollipops,

0:24:410:24:44

I'd expect you to lick 'em, Gavin.

0:24:440:24:46

AUDIENCE GASP I may watch the radio and listen to the TV in your honour.

0:24:460:24:50

Thank you. I'm glad to be present with a newscaster

0:24:500:24:53

when you went like that.

0:24:530:24:54

-May I while I'm here?

-It takes years of training.

0:24:540:24:57

It's all over the place.

0:24:570:24:58

-Let's get some sports news, Sonia McLoughlin's here again.

-Selina Hinchcliffe.

-Sorry.

0:24:580:25:03

Both blond hair, both quite tall.

0:25:030:25:05

Just after half past three, we should be answering your emails.

0:25:060:25:09

They're coming in thick and fast as we speak.

0:25:090:25:12

Just give you a quick flavour.

0:25:120:25:14

Ben from Belfast wants to know, "Who's doing it

0:25:140:25:16

"and what's the agenda?" We want to know how to stop it, don't we?

0:25:160:25:19

To be honest, there's no point emailing because we've had so many,

0:25:190:25:23

we've already selected the ones we're going to answer.

0:25:230:25:26

Yep, that ruined that, didn't it?

0:25:260:25:28

That ruined that, completely ruined.

0:25:280:25:30

Yes, from a news point of view it's completely ruined.

0:25:300:25:34

From an outtake point of view - perfect.

0:25:340:25:37

Like this from Darren Jordon, who sadly recently left the BBC

0:25:370:25:41

to join the Arabic TV station Al Jazeera.

0:25:410:25:43

Mind you, if they'd seen him here

0:25:430:25:46

MTV would have snapped him up immediately.

0:25:460:25:49

# I see neon lights

0:25:490:25:53

# Whenever you walk by

0:25:530:25:57

# Don't get me wrong. #

0:25:570:26:01

Oh, yes, multi-talented, our Darren.

0:26:010:26:04

Here he is on another night, waiting to read the news

0:26:040:26:07

while enjoying the final of How To Solve A Problem Like Maria,

0:26:070:26:11

which was reaching its climax in the next studio.

0:26:110:26:14

Why are they wearing aprons?

0:26:170:26:19

'Helena and Connie,

0:26:190:26:21

'you've both worked so hard to get to this point in the final.'

0:26:210:26:27

DARREN GRUMBLES 'It's been an epic journey.'

0:26:270:26:30

LAUGHTER 'The nation has now decided who will become Maria von Trapp.

0:26:300:26:37

'For one of you, life is about to change forever.'

0:26:370:26:41

I hate when they say that.

0:26:410:26:42

How can they qualify that - "their life will change forever?"

0:26:420:26:45

'The girl the public have cast

0:26:450:26:48

'to be Maria von Trapp...'

0:26:480:26:50

-(Connie.)

-'..Is...

0:26:500:26:52

'CONNIE!' SHE SCREAMS

0:26:520:26:55

-DARREN CHUCKLES

-Calm down, it's just a bloody show.

0:26:550:26:58

CHEERING Congratulations, Connie!

0:26:580:27:02

-You are Maria!

-Ha-h! Smoke, flames, fire, dancing girls.

0:27:020:27:06

Well done!

0:27:080:27:09

Well done, darling.

0:27:090:27:11

Ah, she's not going to sing that ghastly song Goodnight, Farewell?

0:27:110:27:15

-STRANGLED VOICE:

-# The hills are alive...#

0:27:170:27:20

# The hills are alive...

0:27:240:27:26

I can't take it. Auh!

0:27:260:27:28

LAUGHTER

0:27:280:27:30

# Music

0:27:300:27:31

# With songs they have sung

0:27:310:27:35

# For a thousand years

0:27:350:27:40

-STRANGLED VOICE:

-# The hills are alive

0:27:400:27:44

# With the sound of music

0:27:440:27:48

# My heart wants to sing every song

0:27:480:27:52

# It hears. #

0:27:520:27:56

There you go. I'm so happy for you.

0:27:560:27:58

Ladies and gentlemen, you solved the problem!

0:27:580:28:01

THE GIRLS SCREAM

0:28:010:28:03

-GIRL'S VOICE:

-Oh, chaos.

0:28:030:28:05

LAUGHTER

0:28:050:28:07

Al Jazeera? They don't know the half of it.

0:28:070:28:10

Goodnight.

0:28:100:28:12

APPLAUSE

0:28:120:28:14

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0:28:160:28:18

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0:28:180:28:20

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