The Story of Are You Being Served?

The family could be watching it and roaring with laughter

and the children would think, "I don't know what they're laughing at, "but it does seem to be funny."

Take the customer into the changing room, Mr Grainger, put his clothes on a coat hanger.

And come straight back, Mr Humphries.

It was fun and it was playful and it was good-natured, and it was sort of innocent.

Oh, Miss Brahms, that was very naughty.

Hee hee hee!

It was a big show. Everyone would watch it. For years.

It ran for years. It was a big event.

Display went to a lot of trouble with that animal. Pull the reins.

Aagh!

David Croft had to fight every year to get them to... "Couldn't you get Thames to do it?

"It's a bit down-market for the BBC."

We were a breath of fresh air with comedy at that particular time.

-Are you free, Mr Lucas?

-I'm sorry, Captain Peacock, this lady's looking for something large in Y-fronts.

It got such an audience reaction, they said, "Hello, we've got a success on our hands."

I'm free!

Are You Being Served? first aired in 1972 and became a firm family favourite,

running for 13 years on BBC One, chock-full of innuendo, dodgy lifts and the occasional customer.

Madam would care to see the shorts.

Oh!

Are You Being Served? told the story of life on the clothing floor of Grace Brothers department store.

It ran for ten series, sold across the globe, but it was a show that the BBC never really wanted.

-They all wanted to give you the sack except Mr Lucas.

-Ha-ha!

-Dear boy.

-Yeah, he wanted to send you to the knackers yard.

From the word go it was a struggle, dreamt up out of financial

desperation by the writer and performer Jeremy Lloyd.

He'd just given up his career in America to be with his new wife, Joanna Lumley, back in the UK.

Bobby! Oh, come on. The party's over.

Oh, darling, what are you doing here?

Well, I live here. I'm trying to get you to go home.

I came back and I'd spent most of my money and Joanna said,

"Write about something you know."

I said, "Well, I know about Simpson's."

She said, "Well, there you are, Simpson's. Write about a store."

And I said, "That's a rather good idea."

During Jeremy Lloyd's youth, he'd worked at the department store Simpson of Piccadilly.

He lasted only two and a half years, but it gave him enough insight to put pen to paper.

I met David Croft when he and I were called in to help with a show that had been written by Jilly Cooper...

..starring my ex-wife, I think at the time, Joanna Lumley.

He mentioned this show and we agreed to meet and talk about it.

He'd already sold it in point of fact to ATV, I think.

I said, "Look, if you get it back, I'll gladly work with you and produce it."

David Croft is a genius, there's no doubt about that

when you consider his background.

David Croft was a producer at the BBC at the time, working for head of light entertainment Bill Cotton,

and was the department's golden boy

after creating the hit sitcom Dad's Army.

I am wearing a toupee.

A wig, if that makes it any clearer.

So if any of you want a good laugh at my expense, now's your chance,

cos I'm going to show it to you.

The reason it was commissioned is that the BBC wanted six comedy pilots.

In those early days, the BBC used to do a series of pilot shows

under the banner of Comedy Playhouse

and they were half-hour pilots

that people had thought might have a bit of mileage

and were worth exploring with a view to running into series.

And so they'd all be shown and, according to audience reaction and the way things went, they'd say,

"Yeah, I think that's the one we're gonna go for this year and give it a try."

Comedy Playhouse was an idea that was designed

to keep successful comedy writers Galton and Simpson at the BBC.

They'd come up with Steptoe And Son and Croft wanted to get in on the act.

David, who was very popular at the BBC, said, "Well, I've got one."

And they didn't even ask what it was. They said, "Well, just write it."

I had nobody to answer to, particularly. Bill Cotton liked the idea.

There were other shows on at the same time, like On The Buses, My Wife Next Door.

Nobody had ever written a show about a store.

So it was original and unique.

Aye-aye, opening time.

-Stand by for the stampede.

-Tie, Mr Lucas.

-Yes, of course, Captain Peacock. Anything in particular, sir?

-Straighten your tie.

It was an outline of what people said and the departments and the sort of conversations

that I remembered, and the floor walkers and everything like that.

They were all based on characters that actually were at Simpson's.

If you would trouble to read the memo from the accounts department,

you would know they prefer ballpoints. Correct, Mr Humphries?

Ballpoints, Captain Peacock.

Captain Peacock was Major Huskisson, who was a director.

Major Huskisson always wore a carnation, red carnation,

in his button hole,

which was delivered to his office by a local Jermyn Street florist every day, every morning.

I was at Catterick in my early days, yes, and I was a corporal for a few weeks.

They were exaggerations, obviously,

and Mrs Slocombe was Evelyn Whiteside,

who had immaculate white hair.

She was similar in build to Mrs Slocombe.

She always looked as though she'd just come from the hairdresser, every day.

Of course, it's for madam to decide.

It's either cold and interesting in these. Or warm and safe in these.

She wouldn't suffer fools, though, but she was a great lady.

Listened to The Archers lately, have you?

Ooh, you're as common as muck.

We had a pecking order and that was the man with the carnation, who was the floorwalker,

who was usually an ex-major, would point to assistants to say, "Are you free?"

And that pecking order would be depending how well-off the customer looked.

-Mr Grainger, are you free?

-I'm very sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you, Captain Peacock.

If the head assistant didn't think he was going to spend very much, he'd pass him on to the second.

Are you available for a clip-on bow tie?

I have never been available for a clip-on bow tie.

The second would pass him on to the third.

Mr Lucas will attend to the customer. Forward, Mr Lucas.

They might even get to me.

I'd usually find somebody who looked very badly dressed

who wanted to spend a fortune, which annoyed everybody.

-Let me serve him. I didn't make any commission last Friday.

-You sold that 38" long.

I know, but the man brought it back. His wife didn't like it.

It didn't fit her. Go on please, let me have him.

-It's Grainger's first.

-Well, he hasn't seen him.

-I'm going to serve him.

-Well, don't mess it up.

Simpson's would deny it to their dying day, if any of them were still alive.

But the thing about putting their knee into the armhole of a jacket...

And you pull until you break all the stitches.

If you listen you can hear them go.

..to make it seem larger and bring it back to the customer. "I've found one slightly larger.

"You must try this on, but don't wave your arms about too much."

Well, the trick in this, Mr Lucas, is to make sure the customer gets it home before the sleeves drop off.

I never saw it, so I don't know. But if he says it's true, then it must be true.

I am just about to find the "other pair" of trousers.

We don't knee trousers, Mr Lucas.

-Don't we?

-No.

Well, you might have told me before.

By hook or by crook, you were going to make that sale.

If you had to jam the jacket on to the person, which I did frequently.

If you literally had to pull it on,

drag it around his waist and just get his belly in...

It's you, sir. Definitely you. Don't you think so, Mr Lucas?

Yes, it's definitely the customer.

It seems a little tight to me.

They are being worn tight this year, sir.

You played on their vanity to secure the sale.

Oh, that does suit madam.

Oh, that does suit madam.

Oh, that does suit madam.

With the seed of an idea and a basic plot, Croft and Lloyd set about fleshing out the script.

Well, David had an extremely good idea,

which was to put the ladies' and gentlemen's department on the same floor.

Who ever heard of a woman's department on this floor?

It's been men's ever since I was a boy.

That Mrs Pankhurst really started something.

That really made the show, I must say,

because there was all the conflict between the ladies and gentlemen.

Mrs Slocombe didn't like to take down your trousers without asking you first.

I think that if Mrs Slocombe wants to make any further inroads into my department,

she had better inform me personally.

David, actually, is brilliant at casting.

We'd all worked together at some time or another, I think.

Except Young Mr Grace, of course.

Young Mr Grace I saw in pantomime in Golders Green, I think.

He was very, very old and I rung up one of his fellow artists

and said, "Do you think he can learn it all right?"

And they said, "Oh, yes. He'll be all right."

You've all done very well.

David has this phenomenal brain.

It's like a casting filing system in his brain

and he'll see you in a small role or something

and he'll file it away in there.

-Down Berrick Road, 35.

-Berrick Road.

Yes. I live with my dad.

He's six foot three, so don't you go getting any ideas.

But then when he gets an idea for something new, because his writing

is so good, he'll know exactly who is to play whatever role.

And then it will be your turn to be one of the main characters.

Oh, gosh, my suspender has gone!

-You're not wearing suspenders.

-That's what I mean. They've gone.

-Oh, get back to...

They knew us all. They knew what we could do.

They knew how to write for us, you know.

So it fitted like a glove.

They were all people who'd done a lot of things before, a lot of shows before.

Trevor Bannister, for instance, had done an awful lot before.

Trevor Bannister had also worked with Croft and Lloyd,

but he was the only person in the cast to be well known to the public,

having been in a huge ITV hit, The Dustbinmen.

To Joe Soap the public, he was more well known than the others.

I mean, the others had done a lot of other stuff, but they hadn't been

on a weekly series in the same way that Trevor had.

I lead a very demanding social life.

-Doing what?

-You dirty pig.

Pardon?

I'm a sex symbol. Highly irresistible to the feminine gender.

Every housewife bin I empty. They can't help it, you see. They all want to undress me.

As for John Inman, he was just a jobbing actor at the time

and was not really known, apart from occasional stage and TV work.

When John Inman joined the cast, I think he was working selling hats at Austin Reed's

and he came in for the interview and never went back to Austin Reed's, although he'd been doing lots

of things before then, but when actors are not working,

they have to go and do something else that's not acting.

So when David Croft offered him the part of Mr Humphries, he was only going to give one answer.

Yes, of course John would, because John was out of work.

With the cast in place, work started on the pilot

and its aim was to replicate the success of a gang-show sitcom that Croft had initiated with Dad's Army.

I didn't realise till recently, but apparently, my claim to fame

is that I was actually the very first customer

to walk through the doors of Grace Brothers.

-What size are you, sir?

-Well, as a matter of fact, I was looking for the gents.

The trouble with pilots is that it's new

and the actors are a bit uptight, of course,

and you don't quite know how it's going to go.

Look, what's me not having a baby got to do with him not taking his trousers down?

The original character was only supposed to appear in the pilot.

Their idea was that they needed Rumbold

to introduce people and that they wouldn't need Rumbold after that.

But, and I took it as rather a nice compliment, they decided that they did need Rumbold after all.

So there I was throughout the whole thing.

-Did you and Mrs Rumbold have a nice holiday?

-Oh, yes, thank you. We went to the Coconut Islands.

Oh.

Also, Croft and Lloyd felt the store Mr Rumbold was to manage would need

to be a bit more down-market than the one it had been based on.

It was a kind of old-fashioned shop, if you know what I mean,

in a funny sort of way, because shops were changing at that time.

Don't worry about me. I don't wear 'em.

Bras, I mean.

I'm sure it's against staff regulations.

Still, I'm always prepared to look the other way.

You could've fooled me.

The set that we had, actually, was a sort of down-market Simpson's.

It was a sort of Bon Marche type of set.

And we didn't want it to look too up-market and it certainly didn't.

I would have thought more like Gamages actually,

because it was such a sort of a muddle.

Probably Pontings and Barkers could have been similar from the way they acted.

That's better... Ooh, look what you've done to the nose!

-Ooh, you've ruined it!

-No, I haven't. I haven't ruined it.

Well, they always look too perfect, these models anyway, don't they?

I mean, people do have crooked noses, you know.

Somebody might come in one day with a crooked nose, look at that dress

and say, "I'll have that dress. It'll go with my crooked nose."

It does make me laugh when you see interviews with the writers

and they talk about how they actually worked in shops like that

and all their research was based on their real-life experiences

and you think, "There was never anywhere like that ever!"

This is from our kung-fu range.

Quite a little relaxing thing it is.

Plenty of room under the arms for movement.

I get quite carried away when I put one of... HE SCREAMS

Some people would say it was set at the time it was actually filmed

and some people would say it was set earlier.

I think the look was based on a sort of '50s look

with Art Deco design put into the set itself.

Even though cast and crew felt the pilot had potential, the BBC decided it wasn't for them.

They didn't show it cos they didn't like it.

It was looking like only a miracle would save Are You Being Served?

Instead, it was a tragedy.

The Olympics of serenity have become the one thing the Germans didn't want them to be -

the Olympics of terror.

It was during the 1972 Munich Olympics

when terrorists kidnapped and murdered members of the Israeli team.

The games were postponed as a mark of respect for the dead.

The Olympic Games stands still.

The flags in the stadium at half mast.

Suddenly, the BBC found themselves with a gap in their schedules.

The BBC were desperate, with the blank screens, to put something on and they had a shelf with tapes on.

They said, "We've got that third-rate Comedy Playhouse thing. We'll stick that on."

As a result of that exposure, it got a very, very large audience.

Gawd blimey! Women drivers!

That'll do, Mr Mash. Instead of standing there making your sarcastic remarks, you could give us a hand.

They said, "Hello, we've got a success on our hands."

Having trouble with Mrs Slocombe?

-All that women's lib's gone to her head, mate.

-Oh, I hope not.

If she burns her bra, we'll have to call out the London Fire Brigade.

Bill Cotton, who was the head of the BBC comedy department at the time, said, "Get rid of John Inman."

We'll take the series, but I don't want the poof."

There, there, Mr Grainger. Now you mustn't upset yourself.

-We're right behind you, aren't we, Mr Lucas?

-Oh, right up to the hilt.

And we said, "No, he's marvellous,"

you know, "and if you could bottle his charismatic charm, it would be of industrial strength."

-She's got a nerve!

-What's the matter now?

She wants to remove my shirt and put a bra there instead.

So we went into series and did another half dozen, I think it was, to go out as a whole package.

One major development from the pilot was Mrs Slocombe's hair.

Mollie Sugden felt her character would give

Grace Brothers' hairdressing department a run for their money.

When David rang and said it was going to a series,

I thought, "Well, I've got to do something about my hair."

And that's when I got the idea.

And so I just... When I turned up for the first rehearsal,

I suggested that would it be a good idea

to have different coloured hair every week and David...

..which I took to mean "yes".

It was a very funny idea.

It was a damn nuisance actually,

because it meant if you wanted to do a retake,

you had to make your mind up whether the scene was over.

It was during the first series that John Inman began to make his mark on the gangshow comedy.

I wasn't aware that he'd suddenly shine out in the way that he did, but I think the first time

people roared with laughter was when Captain Peacock said, "Are you free?"

Yes, I'm free, Captain Peacock.

He had an extraordinary walk as he walked across the floor,

which got a tremendous laugh, so we kept that in.

It actually came from a shop assistant in Austin Reed's,

who had metal bits on his heels.

Gradually, his part built up just because of his charismatic character, I would say.

What is the reason for this masquerade?

Well, I just wanted to look like an average man in the street.

The mannerisms came and he blossomed into this full-blown figure, which is, you know,

"I'm free!", Mr Humphries, you see.

Yes, I'm free, Mr Grainger.

We've never deliberately written a catchphrase, because you don't know what will take off.

But when one does take off, you hear about it afterwards.

Suddenly, everybody's saying it.

I'm free. I'm free, Mr Lucas.

-The gentleman wishes to try on a dress.

-I'm free.

It did catch on very quickly because it was something that everybody said.

-I'm free.

-I'm free.

-I'm free.

-I'm free.

-I'm free.

-I'm free.

-I'm free.

I think the viewers appreciated series two onwards more,

purely because they were more aware of the characters,

the idiosyncrasies of the characters.

-Your customer's approaching, Mr Lucas.

-Carry on, Mr Lucas.

Just my luck!

None of the characters actually liked each other very much.

It's rather strange. We used to find that the public would say, "Oh, you all look as if you're such a team.

"You get on so well." We didn't.

We were stabbing each other in the back all the time.

Ernest, I've just had a complaint from Mrs Slocombe about young Mr Lucas.

-Go on.

-Apparently, he allowed one of his customers to appear

in full view of her department in a state of undress.

It's the friction between two people that makes it comedy.

Where are you going, Mr Lucas?

I was just stretching my legs, Captain Peacock.

-Back to your own area.

-Sir!

Blimey, it's like being in Colditz.

There were always sub-plots and, of course, Mr Lucas was always keen on Miss Brahms

and would occasionally fire the odd note with an elastic band over to her,

saying, "I don't half fancy you."

And Captain Peacock would pick it up and hand it to Mrs Slocombe,

who thought it was from him. That sort of thing.

"Dear sexy knickers..."

There was always something that happened. Mr Grace's birthday.

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday, Mr Grace

# Happy birthday to you. #

I'm stuck!

There was always a plot and that's all you needed, just the basis of the plot, to hang all the words on.

It even had industrial relations from time to time.

The unions were very strong at that time and people were having a lot of strikes.

"They're out. Traffic chaos."

Ha! Up the workers!

Particularly years in the '70s...

'72, '73, '74 and again at the end of the '70s,

during the Winter of Discontent...

there were great surges of strike action on a scale that had not been seen

since the General Strike 50 years before.

So strikes, the experience of being on strike, the experience of suffering

from a strike as a consumer, were very familiar to people who were watching Are You Being Served?

in a way that they wouldn't be to viewers now.

Look, one of the ways of bringing our grievances to the attention

of the hierarchy is to bung up the loos with plaster of Paris.

We did have Mr Mash, who was head of the union, calling everybody out on strike.

It has everything to do with me, Brother Slocombe.

I am shop steward and in that capacity I am convening an emergency

meeting in accordance with section 23 of the rule book.

Mrs Slocombe said, "I'm not a brother."

He said, "You're a brother now, cos you're in the union."

Your tea should start when you sit and actually dip your biscuit in the cup.

-Ooh, doesn't he speak well?

-Thank you, brother.

I am now about to put the motion on the table.

Some of the phrases are strange.

Now you could take that as a double entendre or not, as you like.

And one of the most iconic things

Are You Being Served? was famous for was its double entendres.

Are you all right, sir?

Well, it's not very often an 81-year-old man

gets stuck in the lift with a 19-year-old secretary.

Course I'm all right. Shut the doors.

The family could be watching it and roaring with laughter.

The children would think, "I don't know what they're laughing at, but it does seem to be funny."

Don't let Peacock see you fraternising over there,

otherwise you'll get the rough edge of his tongue

and I can tell you, it isn't very pleasant.

I don't think David and I thought it was risque humour, because it was our sort of humour.

I never have any trouble in getting up in the morning.

My pussy's just like an alarm clock.

All the pussy jokes were about a cat, you do understand?

Any other inferences are entirely in your mind.

You're lucky to have me at all, Captain Peacock.

I had to thaw me pussy out before I came.

Mollie never played it with anything but truth and sincerity.

Oh, Mr Rumbold, I hope this isn't going to take long.

My pussy's been locked up for eight hours.

I'm afraid it's just not convenient.

I think it was obligatory to have at least one pussy joke, yes, per episode, yes.

All totally harmless and above board.

Well, the central heating broke down.

I had to light the oven and hold my pussy in front of it.

Having worked for David Croft in many productions, you don't chip in with ideas.

You can suggest something, possibly, and one in 100 might get accepted.

It isn't an actor's job actually to invent lines. It's our job.

So this was not encouraged.

However, real-life experiences of the actors

would sometimes get a hearing and find their way into the scripts.

Thank you, sir. Don't worry about the sleeves.

-They'll ride up with wear.

-Thank you very much indeed.

I'd gone to my local little tailor

and I bought a corduroy jacket off the peg, you know.

And I put it on and it was a bit...

Like this.

And I think the sleeves were a bit long, you see.

And he said, "It'll ride up with wear."

I thought, "That's a good line. We must use that." And we did.

Don't worry about the sleeves, sir.

They'll ride up with wear.

They'll come down, sir, with wear.

They'll ride up with wear.

Don't worry if the wig is a little loose, madam.

You'll find it will ride up with wear.

They'll ride up with wear.

Don't worry, madam, they'll ride up with wear. Everything does.

And sometimes the scripts would require something a bit different,

aided and abetted by the props department.

The special effects department loved doing the show because they could invent things.

Anything I asked them for, they would just make it that much better.

An exploding cat, for instance.

They were like a lot of schoolboys and they loved doing the show.

I remember the Father Christmas one that opened his raincoat.

Ho ho ho, little boy.

Have I got a surprise for you.

And we used to look forward to Friday, when the special effects men came.

What are they gonna do?

However wayward your figure, the Flexi-bra will cling to it and control it.

What worked less well were Grace Brothers' famous lift doors.

Give us a hand. I've got Mrs Slocombe in here.

You push that side. I'll push this.

- Now, push! - Push!

The lift, yes!

We had a lot of different devices in order to open those doors

to the right cue and none of them seemed to work.

So the lift was... I used to say, "Cue the lift,"

and I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best, you know.

Shut, sesame!

18. Two 18s, 36...

It was only two fellas at the back pushing two doors across on cue and, erm...

But even so, they'd get stuck.

Captain Peacock, in acknowledgement of your... Mr Lucas, the button!

Sometimes we'd be stood in there for ages

while they messed on with the lift doors. But erm...

There weren't really such things as retakes then and we had to do that

or otherwise you wouldn't have got the cast out and on the floor.

Gawd, blimey!

Ain't there no privacy anywhere?

They were a wonderful cast. The thing is, they'd rehearse in the morning.

They'd go out for lunch and have a drink in the local pub and sometimes they'd come back in the afternoon.

And on studio days, lunch became a production in itself.

Do you know, I can't remember whether this is chicken soup or vegetable.

-Well, taste it.

-Well, that's not going to make any difference.

The canteen was more or less shut then, or it was a very small

attendance, so we used to have a sort of picnic in the dressing rooms.

It was probably Wendy initiating good food and she would do the main course.

John would do the dessert.

Trevor would do the crisps and the biscuits.

Poor Mollie would be having her hair done, which was so ornate for the most time.

We used to look in the script at the beginning of the week

to see if there was any canteen scenes,

so we could nick the cutlery and china.

We put it back. Wash it and put it back afterwards.

-It was nearly always in my room.

-Yeah.

Usually after lunch, whoever wasn't back first had to do the washing-up.

But we had to do it in the bath, you know.

-They have bathrooms in...

-As you do, yes.

As the series developed, the cast fast became household names

and would often be in demand on the entertainment shows of the '70s.

Pay a visit to this absolutely diddy-filarious

new store in Blackpool, Grace Brothers, where all the cast say, "Are you being served?"

However, John Inman began to outshine the others.

He was a very funny man. Easy to exploit his talent.

He did become terribly popular.

Let's have a big hand on his entrance, if you please,

ladies and gentlemen, for that wayward Peter Pan from men's outfitters.

Please welcome Mr John Inman. Are you free?

John sort of came to the fore and didn't eclipse the others, but was the main focus a lot of the time.

-I shall warm the end for you first.

-Oh, please do.

He's done all of Big Fun's stage gear...

Now then...

We were doing the summer season of Are You Being Served? in Blackpool

and John's a Blackpool boy.

Walking along the street with him and I was just a tiny bit behind him,

but looking at people's faces as they walked towards him,

they were all so pleased to see him.

I mean, they really loved him.

The BBC's Television Personality of the Year.

Forward, Mr Inman!

APPLAUSE

In some of the episodes, obviously, they relied on him,

because some of them were a bit flat.

Oh, it's started me leg off.

This hasn't happened to me since I was a prefect in me primary.

-Is there anything we can do to stop it?

-No, it's all right. It'll turn to hiccups in a minute.

-HIC! Told you.

-Now what do we do?

Well, my teacher, Miss Hasswell, she used to get one of the boys to creep up behind me and give me a surprise.

John was such a hit that in the middle of the series,

he was offered a job running a rock factory by ITV, I think, and he sort of abandoned us for a short while.

And this is what I want.

Hundreds of them coming off the assembly line.

We must keep going like we did before,

keeping the wheels of the Littlehampton Rock Factory turning faster than ever.

Percy, turn the wheel and let's get cracking.

It was quite inevitable that certain people in the cast

would have their own shows afterwards,

like Mollie and John Inman.

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

He was offered so much more money if he would sign an exclusive contract.

I mean, David Croft, I don't think it's any secret, was very annoyed.

He just said, "That's all right. We'll just replace him.

"Or we'll get somebody else to fit in that part."

But the BBC said, to everyone's surprise, you can't do it without John Inman.

So for 18 months we didn't do it.

And then, of course, they did This Is Your Life.

And I think I said to him, "How's the rock factory going?"

as I was congratulating him. He said, "Don't ask."

With John Inman not available, Croft and Lloyd signed Mollie Sugden up for her own series on the BBC.

We wrote a thing called Come Back Mrs Noah,

which was an idea of David's,

which was Britain's first spaceship, which she's won a knitting competition.

And she's the first person to be shown round it and it accidentally...

She presses a button and it takes off.

Now, can I go to the little girls' room?

Often unfairly described as the worst sitcom ever.

It wasn't really. It was quite funny.

Agh! Agh!

In those days, unfortunately, the special effects weren't really up to scratch.

You could, if you looked clearly at the screen, you could see the wires supporting her in the air.

Mrs Noah didn't come back and John Inman's rock factory closed.

The series that he went into was a complete disaster,

sad to say,

and so he then came back and we then went on with Are You Being Served?

So John Inman returned to the BBC and his role of Mr Humphries,

only to have to deal with problems off-screen.

Whilst the series was very popular,

John Inman got a lot of flak from gay organisations,

saying that he was taking the mickey out of gay actors.

Are you free, Mr Grainger?

I couldn't see what they were objecting to, personally.

He was portraying a character that I've certainly met.

I've met actually being served by characters like that in big stores.

Mr Humphries, Mr Lucas, are you free?

Yes, we're free, Captain Peacock.

We never wrote him as a homosexual.

I thought he was very like people I'd worked with at Simpson's

who were, you know, just rather sort of, slightly effete.

Mummy's boy, used to put his slippers in the oven at regulo four

to be switched on just before he got home, so they'd be warm.

Yes, of course I'm still your little boy.

No, I haven't changed a bit.

Well, not much.

I think he's fun.

I think he's funny and don't tell me that gay men like that don't exist.

They absolutely do.

Just think of the thousands of inside legs that that's done.

The only time I do have a problem with it is when you see the writers of Are You Being Served?

claiming he's not gay.

-What sort of a school did you go to, Mr Humphries?

-Mixed.

Oh, yeah, girls and boys?

No, just boys.

Then I simply have to shrug and say that a writer does not know

his own text, because Mr Humphries is absolutely a gay man.

Oh, it's the Masked Stranger. Take my body but leave my jewels alone.

I was in New Zealand playing a club, a cabaret club,

and I got there and there were pickets outside,

saying don't go and see this.

They thought that Mr Humphries was a homosexual,

which I fought against for most of the series, you know.

I'm always saying unless you see him doing it over the counter, how do you know?

You know, I'm surprised you didn't wear the whole uniform.

Oh, well, I used to, but people kept wanting to touch me collar for luck.

I bet you met a lot of nice girls that way.

I did.

Not to mention a roving reporter, a trendy bishop, a string-vestite

and a dustman with a very interesting tale to tell.

That camp...

And camp itself is very much part of the showbusiness tradition

and people enjoy it and it's not even to do with your sexuality. It's to do with camp.

I like to make it quite clear that being of an affectionate

nature I have many friends of all shapes, sizes and sexes.

Even this morning I had some amorous advances from a rag and bone man's horse which I repulsed.

You can see in John Inman that development of Kenneth Williams

in Round The Horne, Julian and Sandy, all the Polari and stuff like that.

Sort of carnival language I think that gay men would use as a secret code.

We do our own edition of Shakespeare, don't we?

-Lovely, mm!

-We've rewritten it ourselves in up to date Polari.

Includes such things as Much Ado About Nanti.

All's Bona That Ends Bona.

Two Omis of Verona.

And As They Like It.

It's like smuggling things in under mainstream television.

Mr Humphries was a step on from that and actually it was overt.

He didn't need Polari so much.

He didn't need to speak in code.

He is a sense that things are getting better.

Ooow!

What on earth are you doing, Mr Humphries?

There's a mouse round my drawers!

Fellow cast member Wendy Richard was also doing battle

with outside elements, only these were closer to home.

I was aware that Wendy had some personal problems,

usually to do with her boyfriends at the time.

I think she arrived with a black eye now and then.

We would hear about it, but the make-up department would take care of it.

Jo Austin, a PA on the show, would often stay with Wendy Richard after the recordings.

You'd hear the arguments and other worse things and so on.

I mean, there was one particular sort of thing.

I heard her saying, "Don't hit my face! Don't cut my face!"

You know, and what do you say?

She'd come perhaps and talk to me about it and I'd understand.

So maybe I hope that I reciprocated.

With what she gave me I was able to give her something back.

Wendy did talk about those things.

One was sympathetic and so on, but that was within our little confine.

I do hope I'm not too late.

I'm afraid Mrs Grainger failed to rouse me this morning.

Well, that's understandable, Mr Grainger.

Then in 1978, Are You Being Served?

lost one of its most popular characters, the wonderful Mr Grainger.

He was such a lovely character and so important in the show.

It's the knack, you know.

Arthur Brough, who played Mr Grainger, was a very dear friend

and it was very, very sad when we lost him.

An irreplaceable colleague.

Yes, indeed. One of nature's gentlemen.

And from then on, of course, they wanted to find someone to fill that niche and various people took over.

James Hayter came in, lovely James Hayter.

Ah, Mr Tebbs was also 18 months in soft furnishings.

I resigned when they introduced bean bags.

He sadly died later on, too, and then Alfie Bass came into that character.

Wouldn't you rather split the commission three ways at the end of the week?

No. This is the way we've always done it and this is the way we'll carry on.

-Right, Mr Lucas?

-Entirely, Mr Humphries.

So be it.

-Harry!

-Hello!

It's awful to say, but he, sadly, died, too, so, erm...

This is to do with the fact that all of the people we're talking about

were reasonable ages when they were employed.

There must be something in there.

Keep on trying.

-If I'd known my body was going to last this long, I'd have treated it better.

-Oh!

I'll get my other machine.

Mr Grace. Mr Grace, can I send down to stock for another pair of tights?

-Only I've just caught these on my desk and I've laddered 'em, look.

-Oh.

The public would always say, of course, you've had no changes of cast, have you?

It's exactly the same people.

We had constant cast changes.

Just as Croft and Lloyd were trying to fill Mr Grainger's shoes,

another position came up for grabs in the men's department.

We sadly lost Trevor Bannister because it didn't fit in with some of his acting dates.

I suppose the gentleman couldn't come and stick his leg up on the counter and I could do it from here?

It was unfortunate. He was sort of double booked, as it were.

No, I suppose I couldn't!

I had been offered a tour of a play just finishing in London.

It was very difficult then to suddenly find that,

"Oh, they're now going to do another series."

And you say, "Well, I'm sorry, I can't do the series."

"What do you mean, you can't do the series?"

But you went, "Well, I'm sorry. Because you've either got to change your dates.

Well, no, I'm not giving up my job.

"What d'you mean? I've got to give up my job, which pays

20 times more money than you're going to pay me for doing seven weeks' work."

That was basically what happened.

It was just sort of a letter between his agency and the BBC perhaps.

It may have been my department.

Mind you, I'm still behind him.

We're all behind him!

Only not so close.

I'd done it for eight years anyway and I spied one or two jokes that we'd already done, so...

-Yeah, I'm right behind you, Captain Peacock.

-I'm right behind you, Mr Lucas.

I'd rather you were behind Captain Peacock.

If you're top of the bill and suddenly you find someone

who's not the top of the bill is getting all the laughs, it can be difficult.

BOTH: Are you being served, sir? Good.

Mr Lucas's position was hastily filled by pop singer Mike Berry as new boy Mr Spooner.

# I love your smile. #

I've got to be very honest, the first script I got,

it had Mr Lucas in it, but scrubbed out and "Mr Spooner".

And I saw the odd "Mr Lucas" was left in.

And if Trevor had been given that script having done all the episodes he'd done,

I must say I would probably have turned it down, too, cos there wasn't much to do.

It didn't matter to me. I mean, to me, it was a big break and I thought, "Wow, fantastic!"

I want you to welcome your new assistant to this department, Mr Spooner.

I'm sure you're all aware that Mr Spooner has already served time

in the paint department, bedding and sports.

Now, you'll be under Mr Humphries, who's under Mr Grossman, who's under Captain Peacock.

I see. Like the bottom bun on a triple hamburger.

I was terrified. I can't tell you.

They probably didn't realise how terrified I was.

This was a series I'd admired and loved and laughed.

You'd have to fork out a few bob if you expected me to sit on your knee!

I agree. I'd want danger money.

-If you sat on me knee,

-I'd

-want danger money.

Not to mention scaffolding.

I went along to read for Jeremy and David.

Trying to keep my lips from sticking to my teeth

while I was reading wasn't easy, but I was very pleased to get it.

Well, let's see how comfy the bed is.

Ah! I supposed Mr Grace used to ring for his secretary when he wanted her to take something down in an hurry!

Ooh! Agh!

They were brilliant. Wendy, bless her, said to me that when she'd spoken to John,

his praise of me was, "He can do it." And that was all I needed to hear.

Even with a full cast in place,

the BBC were never that keen to re-commission the show.

It was popular with the audience, but this was not the case with management.

It goes back to the general distaste that the BBC had for Are You Being Served?

David Croft had to fight every year to get them... "Oh, couldn't you get Thames to do it?

It's a bit down-market for the BBC," and so on.

Then the last two years, they realised they'd got something rather good on their hands.

For what you are about to receive may you be truly grateful.

-Surely, sir, you mean "For what

-we

-are about to receive may

-we

-be truly grateful"?

-No, no, for what

-you

are about to receive. We're lunching at the Savoy, aren't we, dear?

I think everybody was surprised.

We thought it had gone.

And they decided they needed a comedy series quite quickly

and there they were all coming back.

Thanks for the lift.

-Oh!

-This is most irregular.

I was only using my initiative.

I knew that the outside of the building was being painted

and after a little light banter with the workmen every morning,

I took the advantage of their kind offer of a lift.

There's white paint on the back of your coat.

The last couple of series, we were writing Are You Being Served?

and I said to David, "I've seen a psychic who's very, very good

and he tells me my partner's about to have a heart attack.

As you're my partner, it must be you. You'd better go and check."

He said, "I'm with BUPA. I have one every six months.

I said, "Look, I'm not going to write unless you go and get checked out."

He said, "You're really difficult."

So I think he went the next day and as he lay on the table being checked out, he had the heart attack.

So it saved his life. So he was out of action for a bit.

So I think I had to finish off the last 12 Are You Being Serveds without him.

And suddenly all the pussy stuff wasn't there.

And my dirty lines weren't there. So I thought, "Oh!" you know.

And then suddenly David came back for the last run-through or whatever,

early run-through, and suddenly all the lines came back.

So we thought, "Ah, you're the one with the dirty mind."

Come and sit next to me, Mr Humphries, and give me a baby.

As it got more successful, so the fees of the artists went up, so the costs went up.

By now in its ninth series, as popular as ever and with more money, Grace Brothers opened its doors

to more and more outlandish plots and elaborate set pieces.

Did you say "trouble"? You don't know the meaning of the word.

I think perhaps Jeremy was finding it a little difficult to come up with stories of things that could

probably happen in a big store and so began to get a little bit more fantastic.

You must lower me over the edge and I'll go and get the police.

-Isn't it a bit risky?

-I must do it.

If I'm not home by one o'clock, me mother locks the door.

I remember watching it and once they started Mrs Slocombe

having a crush on Mr Humphries and that was a whole episode's plot

that then got forgotten the next week and you sort of thought,

"That's running out of stories, slightly."

Ooh, that's lovely.

They simply did everything and it ran out of steam.

It's karma! It's kismet!

It's... Kiss me!

The bigger and bigger things got, it was because they'd run out of ideas.

Are You Being Served? was bordering more on light entertainment

really than on comedy drama.

'It was sort of very revue-ish, but we all were, you see.'

# ..To be like we were.

# Perfect in every way.

# What's the matter With kids today...? #

'It was a bit, sort of, stretching it, you know,'

to imagine that the staff in a store like that would do that kind of thing.

# Ask me, "When will the day be?"

# The sweet day may be tonight! #

When we got to the very end, we shot this big musical number,

thinking, "Well, if this is the end, we're going out with a bang here."

But we didn't really know whether it WOULD be the end.

# Chanson... #

Nobody quite knew it was the very, very end,

so there wasn't that feeling of, we'll-never-meet-again sort of thing.

It was, maybe we'll see each other next spring.

# ..Encore... #

I think, to be honest, that the BBC decided that enough was enough.

# ..In my heart... #

And therefore, I think, you just have to say, "OK, let's move on.".

# More and... #

I think there comes a time when you know it's time to stop, really.

# ..Chanson d'amour... #

You just run out of plots.

# Rat, ta, ta, ta, ta! #

The BBC were very reluctant to let it go really, but they went along with the idea

that when we said we'd done enough, that was about it, you know?

# Each time I hear... #

Grace Brothers finally closed its doors on 1st April, 1985,

when times were changing.

# ..D'amour.... #

We were beginning to see, even in the mid '80s, alternative comedy arriving.

In fact, I think it was probably '87 that you would have seen

French And Saunders appear on television.

-Have I seen that dress somewhere before?

-No, I had it specially made for me.

I've seen Marti Caine wearing this on her show, That's Not My Dog. Look, look at this!

So a new generation was beginning to emerge.

However, Alan Yentob, then controller of BBC One,

decided to give the characters another go in 1992

in a comedy called Grace And Favour, which transported the action

to a country house hotel.

Perhaps you'd all like to sit down, we're not in the store now, are we?

This is all quite informal.

Are you free, Mr Humphries?

I'm free!

They were so well known for being in Are You Being Served?,

you can't say it really worked out in another situation,

although Mrs Slocombe was very funny playing cricket.

-Yes!

-Not out!

-What did you say?

-He said, "Not out.".

Do you wanna make something out of it?

It's tough to re-invent things and to move them on in that kind of way,

and, although it did OK, I mean, it never really...

it never really worked well enough for one to say, "Yes, let's persist and persevere,"

beyond the two series that we gave it.

Despite the lack of desire for Grace And Favour,

both series remain hugely popular in America to this day.

They'd have Mrs Slocombe lookalike contests, and about 20 gentlemen would turn up

dressed as Mrs Slocombe, with a stuffed cat under their arms.

Are You Being Served? became truly international, with the show selling worldwide.

Australia even made its own version, importing John Inman in a starring role.

Mr Mankowitz will be over you, and Mr Randel will be under you.

It's just like being at home!

And in Britain, the series may not get as repeated as often,

but the stars are still remembered affectionately, and will always be resolutely British.

People watched it cos it was funny.

It's very short notice.

There's my pussy to consider.

We remember it cos it was fun.

RECORD PLAYS AT HIGH SPEED: # Mammy, Mammy

# The sun shines east The sun shines west... #

Programmes like Are You Being Served?,

they're timeless, because they're wholly inoffensive.

RECORD PLAYS AT LOW SPEED: # Mammy

# Mammy... #

When David and I are not here, they'll still be making people laugh with things we thought of.

-Mr Humphries!

-Don't talk to me!

It'll never end, you see. They'll never age.

They'll always be the same age on television.

They'll never fade away, and they'll always be there.

TITTERING

LAUGHTER

RIOTOUS LAUGHTER

Luckily, for those fans of Are You Being Served?,

all 68 episodes still exist today in full, glorious Technicolor...

Ooh, no...!

..apart from the pilot.

Oh, is that the best you can do, Miss Brahms?

Well, it's not my job! I'll try again.

Are You Being Served?, at that time,

was transmitted on what we call two-inch videotape,

which is an enormous tape, and it was very, very expensive,

as a medium to record on, so what happened was, those tapes were used over and over again.

In the past, the BBC only kept television copies

of programmes they felt had historical importance,

and comedy shows were not deemed significant enough to keep.

-Never mind. Come along.

-Fortunately, the pilot episode of Are You Being Served?

had been kept in black and white for international sales.

Because we didn't keep the two-inch tape that Are You Being Served? was transmitted on,

what we did actually do was record the programme off air on to film,

which is how this whole process of restoration has occurred.

Now, unfortunately, people thought the colour was lost

on this black-and-white copy,

but the actual means in which this film recording was made

meant that the colour information was actually accidentally preserved in the film as a pattern of dots.

Before I was involved, a couple of the other people

who were working on it had managed to recover quite reasonably convincing-looking colours,

but they weren't the full set.

For example, there were no blues or greens,

but there were yellows and there were reds, and, erm...

If you didn't know what the original colour was,

they actually looked quite good, but when you compared them...

That was an advantage of having the tape of Top Of The Pops.

When you compared them, you realised there were colours missing.

My contribution was to work out how to find these extra colours,

and the software that I wrote, then, sort of examines the picture,

and looks for these characteristic patterns of lines and dots,

which is the residue of the original colour, and from those,

it works out both what the colour is, and it works out its intensity,

so that the end result is a full colour picture.

Operator, get me Mr Rumbold's office.

Hello. Could I speak to Mr Rumbold, please?

Well, I'm sorry, Mrs Slocombe, but I'm afraid Mr Rumbold's still with Young Mr Grace at the moment.

Oh, hang on a second. I think he's just leaving.

So now the pilot episode has been restored to its former glory,

and has taken pride of place back on the shelves, with all ten series of Are You Being Served?.

HE CACKLES

BOTH: Yes, we're free.

'I like it!'

I will not have rough, workman's hands inside my bra!

Pompous twit!

Mrs Slocombe!

Oh, yes, we are. Yes, we are free, Mr Humphries, yes.

-Mind you, five minutes ago, we wouldn't have been free, would we?

-No, we would not have been free!

But I never told him the sleeves would ride up with wear!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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