Episode 5 Unsafe Sex in the City

This programme contains strong language.

More young people than ever are catching

Britain's STI clinics are the first stop for anyone

who thinks a night of passion might mean

You've got a bit of discharge. It was quite offensive in odour

This series goes behind the doors of two clinics ..

We're a bit mental but we're not judgmental!

Leeds, with its huge student population...

It's pretty much all unprotected sex.

Why are we not looking after little Olly?

..and Exeter, in the heart of the Devon countryside.

This is Exeter! Everyone sleeps with everyone!

Getting a sexually-transmitted infection from a farm animal.

We help bring patients to get checked out...

I've trusted people that I shouldn't have. Oh, my God!

I'm hoping and praying that I haven't got anything.

12 months? 20 partners? That's well shocked me!

Your results from your recent visit are...

Why would you need to carry on coming and taking the tests

if you're not sleeping with anyone but me?

This week, in Exeter, Scott's drunken exploits

Having something that can kill me slowly, in time,

I think that would be the worst thing.

While in Leeds, Chloe has been experiencing

Is the breaking of the condom a regular thing?

He's absolutely massive and it doesn't seem to want to stay on

Do you always make sure you use condoms?

Yeah. They just don't make them big enough for me.

OK. You take care and I'll see you tomorrow.

daily deliveries brighten everyone's day.

I had a green one. I don't know where it's gone.

That's not very nice! I said that to you when you came in with it

and you said they said that this morning. Yeah.

Hello, sir. How can I help? Waiting room one on your left.

the pair have come to the clinic to see if they've picked up

My thoughts going in is I'm clean as a whistle.

You don't know. I DO know! You don't know. I DO know!

After the weekend, I don't know but I'm fairly adamant I'm OK!

I'm Luke. I'm one of the nurses How are you doing? All good.

You've been to us before. I have. A couple of times.

Any discharge coming out of the penis?

Pain in the testicles? Pain when you go for a wee?

Anything like that? No. I haven't had any of that.

Apart from blue balls on Friday night. Blue balls?

You might have to explain that one to me.

Just when you don't finish, you can't finish

Have you come at this point already? No, I haven't.

It's your body's way of saying "Let me out."

And you're still erect at this point?

When did you last have any sexual contact, then?

It was a one-off. I met her at a festival.

Did you use condoms? We did but they broke.

Before that, when did you last have sexual contact

with somebody different? About three weeks before. Any condoms? No.

Sexual contact with someone other than her? A week before.

Did they break or were they all right? They were fine

I don't even know her name, to be honest.

Generally, what is your condom use like?

I'm improving. If it's asked for, I'll put one on.

It's an improvement, as far as I'm concerned.

Was it not at all? It was not at all before.

When you say not agree, what do you mean? When you put one on,

sometimes a lot of men suffer with it.

It goes down. It's like putting a plastic bag over your head.

OK, so... You grab a seat out there for me.

Robbie's been tested before so knows the score.

But for little brother Tom, it's all new.

I don't want anything put up anything.

He doesn't want a cotton bud. I do. It doesn't even hurt.

I didn't even know they did that until you told me about it.

It doesn't even hurt. Be a man. I'm going to be a man

They've taken my blood. That's me being a man. OK.

Good afternoon. Exeter walk-in centre. Sorry about that,

Five. That's not a problem. See you tomorrow. Bye.

I need a urine sample from you for the chlamydia, gonorrhoea.

Then if we can do a blood test for the HIV and syphilis.

How are you with needles? I hate them with a passion.

What is it about condoms you don't like?

I never have one on me at the time when it's going down.

I'm not willing to go out looking for one

when you're getting caught up on things.

It's not like I put it on and lose an erection.

It's what my brother said, in the past.

That's good because I can give you loads of condoms.

They put a needle in me. I didn't like that much

but I got some condoms so it's not all bad.

Took about 30 condoms, different size ranges.

The boys have to wait to find out if not wrapping up

I have the means to on Facebook but I'm not still talking to them

like how was it for you kind of thing.

It's the same with me. If I need to contact them, I will

but there's a few I wouldn't be able to contact.

Short of following them on nights out

it's about having that open-door policy

and saying you know you should If it all fails,

In Leeds, Staff Nurse Tim's day has got off

We're positive for herpes so you need to be aware that

What's up? It's bizarre. Herpes always seems to go down

I find more guys are accepting of HIV than they are herpes. Really?

Why is it that one's a big bogey for us?

I wonder why social stigma has attached itself to that one

"Chlamydia? I can live with that. Herpes? That's the end of

What's the big deal? Everyone has sex.

And people's response when I'm in this job,

"Oh, my God, you must see some really..."

And I'm like, "No. Actually, I see some normal people who've

"had a bit of bad luck." Could happen to anyone.

I had the HPV virus on my cervix, which causes

abnormal growth cells in your cervix.

So, I've had a biopsy and a full removal

It's like I was never really that bothered about it before

and six months of torturous waiting for results has just made me

the most safe person in the history of the world.

But a recent condom split has brought Chloe back to the clinic.

and I've had, like, a bit of spotting, like, bleeding afterwards,

so I thought I'd come and get it checked out.

It has been but then I wasn't sure if that was just because...

the questions around your sexual life.

So, when was the last time you had sex with anybody?

Did he use a condom? Yes, but it broke.

So, is the breaking of the condom a regular thing?

He's absolutely massive and it just doesn't seem to want to stay on

It's...but then I think that's also part of the pain thing as well

I'm not sure if it's cos it's a bigger penis than I'm used to

Guys are different sizes, that's true,

but condoms are quite stretchy and some of them you can

actually get for the more better equipped guys.

Now, get yourself comfy. Pop your legs over.

if the pain Chloe's experiencing during sex is due to an STI.

I'm just going to have a look on the outside first,

and then take a swap and then we'll look inside. OK? Cool.

The cervix has healed very well after the treatment

and there's just a bit of a discharge around it

so we'll check that under the microscope and see what's going on.

Do you want to pop your legs together and pop them on the chair there

The neck of the womb has been operated on.

It's had a small piece removed as part of the colposcopy

treatment she's had, and it might be why she's seeing some bleeding

On examination, I spotted a discharge that could be bacterial vaginosis,

so we'll see how the results work out on that.

Chloe will have to wait a week to see if history has repeated itself.

so if I have got it it's just the luck of the draw.

I don't want to be walking around with something that could

mess up my fertility and, like, mess up my life.

When temperature go up, inhibitions go down,

and the number of patients coming through

So, I think younger people may think they're invincible as well.

Alcohol. And alcohol. Alcohol's a biggie

because people don't think of the consequences

if they're drinking too much. Definitely.

I've agreed to do all sorts of things after

a couple of glasses of wine, not sexual.

Yeah, that'll be a good idea. We'll do that.

"What did I say I was going to do?" Yeah.

After a booze-fuelled summer, 21-year-old Scott has

come to the Exeter clinic for his first ever STI test.

Oh, my God, I'm so nervous. You've got to help me.

Leave them alone. I love the trannies.

'They're worried about me on nights out, downing so much alcohol.

'And even though they're crazy I go a little bit extra crazy.

I'll end up in random places with no clothes on and...

with people I don't know who they are.

And they're just worried for what is happening to me.

All right, and so when did you most recently have sex?

Do you know approximately how many people you had sex with?

And, with the man, can you tell me what type of sex you had?

It was just oral. Was the oral sex protected?

I didn't know it had to be protected, you know what I mean

Quite awkward. I don't think anyone knows.

No-one really protects with that. Yeah.

I mean, our advice generally is that all types of sex should be protected,

and the reason is that there are some infections we know can...

..contracted through oral sex. Gonorrhoea, syphilis. Oh, my God!

Try to use condoms as much as possible.

And the last time you had sex with anybody different from those people?

Like, I remember going to places and probably doing it,

but I don't really remember, you know what I mean?

Go out every weekend and always end up... OK.

So, you think you're probably having unprotected sex with strangers

most weekends? I guess so, yeah.

And do you remember ever having had anal sex,

or woken up feeling like you might have had anal sex?

I thought I would do that with someone

if I actually liked them, so.. OK.

Yeah, I would say quite a lot of drinks.

Are you aware that your behaviour changes

Yeah, I'm definitely a different person sort of thing. Yeah.

about what sort of impact your alcohol use is having on..

Yeah. My body. Your body. My brain.

Maybe that's why I'm going so crazy cos it's affected me.

And we might be able to provide some support for you.

Scott's behaviour is always high risk.

Most of the people that he meets in these clubs and that,

and so he could have anything, really.

I mean, the characters he meets some of them

Sometimes he tells me he doesn't know what he does now.

He says he wakes up and runs out of their house.

because I always end up too drunk and stuff, and she didn't want me

to do something unprotected or end up somewhere not safe.

and I've had blood taken from my arm,

and I've got another appointment next week to find out the results.

So... Was it all right? Yeah, it was all right.

What's in your bag? Oh, it's lots of condoms. Ooh!

Scott will be back at the clinic in a week to find out

if his drunken sexploits have given him more than just a hangover.

MUSIC: "Good Girl" by Robin Thicke

Across town... That's yours.

..brothers Robbie and Tom are catching up with their mate

So, are you guys not worried at all about catching anything?

It depends what it is. Chlamydia, like we said earlier, is a cold

It's a cold for your penis, that s my theory on it. That's my theory

Like, for guys, it's not a problem but for women it is.

Yeah. Yeah. They can't have kids and stuff like that.

Have you two ever shared a girl Not at the same time, no.

that's what it is. Need a little bit of fresh meat

You can't blame the poor girls. . A little bit of younger energy

Have they ever compared you? After you've shared...

We've never had feedback at the same time, but I'd win.

I don't think I have. I'd win. I taught him everything he knows.

Say you both came back and you both had gonorrhoea or chlamydia,

would you phone up the last person you fucked? Absolutely.

I would love to cos she phoned me up, telling me she was late.

What would you say? Say I was on the phone to you, right now

OK. Let's play this one up. Alice? You be Alice. Right, OK.

You all right, Alice? Yeah, all good.

I've caught something and you're the last person I've slept with

so, you know, this is something I thought I should relay on to you.

BUZZER LAUGHTER

Bitch! She's put the phone down Well, that's the end of it.

That's how you put it? That is definitely how I would put it.

But with their results due soon will Tom

and Robbie have to make the call for real?

Um, a guy once told me that if you eat a lot of celery,

that makes the cum fire a lot further.

I think I know that one, actually. I do know that one.

Yes, sometimes these people will stick in your mind if they had

said something particularly silly, you will remember them.

The next patient to make a big impression is 30-year-old Karl

A recent sexual encounter has given him cause for concern.

You've not actually been told by anybody or

And have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection in the past?

Chlamydia. Do you have any general health problems? No.

I'm ex-army, so I'm fit and well. Great.

Right, so we're just going to ask a few more personal questions.

When did you last have any kind of sex with anybody?

Would have been about six weeks ago. Six weeks.

OK. And is that the person that you were talking about? Yes. OK

And did you use a condom with her? Yes, I did, but it did split.

OK. Before that, when did you last have sex with somebody different?

That's it. I wouldn't say I'm not very sexually active

but I just don't get it as regularly as I would like to. OK.

Fair enough. So, because you have not got any symptoms,

and gonorrhoea and do your blood test for HIV and syphilis

Is that OK? Yes, that's fine. Brilliant. OK.

Pop it in there and take the whole thing back to the waiting room

The nurse will do your blood tests. OK? OK, then. Thank you very much.

Take care and do you want some condoms? Yes, please. Brilliant

We tend to hear that kind of comment quite a lot,

men say they have a problem with condoms

because their penis is too large. But actually,

there are lots of different brands of condom, lots of different

sizes of condom and it may be that they are not using lubrication.

Karl? I'm Michelle. I'm one of the sisters. In here

Are you quite good at coming in quite regularly? Yes.

I come in between four to six months. That's brilliant

In normal sexual activity. Depending on if you've been quite busy.

Yeah. They just don't make them big enough.

They're too tight and just not long enough.

That's how accidents happen because they are not big enough. OK.

So when you say about accidents what do you mean?

It isn't the lube that's the problem. Sometimes it can be, though.

That's something you might think about trying. OK.

So it's a sharp scratch. Are you all right? Yes.

You don't look like you fully believe me.

I could say something but I don t want to. Say whatever you want

I don't normally need lube because I can get them all...

Excited? Yes, OK. I wasn't doubting that for a minute.

Do you mind if I pop your plaster on? No.

Should be all right. You don't want one? No. OK.

but health advisor Michelle still insists on the lube.

Cocky patients, it might not be so much that they are cocky

They might just be overconfident and they might feel that they

have got to big themselves up a little bit.

They've got to make out they're quite well endowed

but I think that's with most men, isn't it?

In reality, a condom is going to fit everyone.

Often if there is a problem, it is down to lubrication.

You're in luck. I've got a bit of a selection.

I'm going to give you that one Pina colada flavour.

I don't think the flavour really bothers me much.

OK. I might be thinking of a friend.

'You've just got to play along with it, really.

Is that all right? Yes, that's fine, love.

I quite like patients like that Thanks a lot.

and they do tend to stick in your mind a bit more then.

Just my personality, really. I get on with everyone.

It's just a bit of banter, isn't it? They just need to make them bigger.

With his pockets full of goodies, Karl heads home with a smile.

But will he still be smiling when he gets his results?

since party-loving Scott had his first STI test. Who is that?

I do not have a clue. Where even are you?

He often can't remember the drunken sex he's had with strangers.

And his behaviour is giving his friends

and family cause for concern. So how was the clinic? I've had a test done.

Was it awkward? You know it was awkward. They took my blood.

Oh, God. They'll find out next Wednesday the results.

It's your fault for bringing all these bloody trannies round.

Not all trannies. You don't really know what they are, to be honest.

Just sort of like... who are they? You know.

And then Mum and Dad get worried about you, you know.

Just, you know, slow down. Not be as crazy, you know, like. .

you're still young but, I mean just not going as crazy, you know?

is it too late for Scott to take on his sister's advice?

The boyfriend, is he... He's not my boyfriend!

Jesus Christ, woman. Now you're starting to sound like a tart.

25-year-old Chloe has come to visit her mum,

who doesn't beat around the bush when it comes to talking about sex.

You're much better off on your own than with some knob. Joking.

A recent condom split has put Chloe in danger of infection.

Well, I'd be seriously disappointed that you'd been

But I have been using protection and I just had an accident,

so if I've caught something from that...

We will have to deal with it. Yes. You are in the right place.

You will get results back and we all hope that you are not going to

have anything nasty but they are out there.

It's no longer a death sentence Even AIDS nowadays...

God, I don't have AIDS. You have had an AIDS test!

What happens if it comes back positive for AIDS?

How would you feel about the person that gave me the hypothetical AIDS?

One in 500 people in Leeds have the HIV virus.

And one of the biggest groups affected is men who sleep with men.

This is quite an interesting picture with all these Action Men

but we are seeing more gay young men with HIV.

You quite often find that people don't use condoms for oral sex

so there's things that they can do to try to reduce risk like not

getting them ejaculate in your mouth, not swallowing cum.

We say "oral sex", they say "sucking", you know.

It depends on the individual, doesn't it?

when was the last time you were fucked, you know, would we?

Worries about HIV have brought 22-year-old Iacopo to the clinic.

Although the Italian is in a long-term relationship

Take a seat, you can put your bag down there

About infecting my boyfriend as well.

Have you ever had one before? No, never. It's my first one.

Is that your main concern today Yeah. OK.

And is that somebody you're in a relationship with?

Do you use condoms with him? Yeah. OK.

And have you had sex with anybody else in the last three months? Yeah.

Yeah - when was that? A month ago. A month ago.

So, obviously, if you're having more than one partner,

So we would try and say use condoms consistently,

even with your regular partner as well.

I'm going to test you for HIV, syphilis and hepatitis B. OK?

Then we'll discuss with you about a health advisor,

trying to get the results back as soon as possible. OK.

Do you feel a bit better for coming here? Yeah, but still scared.

I think it's nerve-racking, if it's all new to you.

I hate blood tests. Do you? Yeah. Aw, right. It's very quick.

I mean, we kind of have to ask everybody who comes through the door,

um...you know...how would you feel about a positive result?

I'm not suggesting it means you'll come back HIV-positive,

but do you have anybody you can talk to?

Do you have a good relationship with your partner? Yeah.

He's the main reason I think I'm here.

Right. The thing I'm scared about most

is if it affects him, actually Yeah.

the thing I'm scared of most is infecting my boyfriend as well

Made you an appointment for half past ten on Tuesday, OK?

Try not to worry. I know it's easy for me to say that, but...

All right? I will. All right, take care.

You'll feel better for coming in and having a screening.

Iacopo not only has to face his results in one week's time. .

..but he also has to share the news with his long-tem boyfriend.

If you get something like HIV, you get it for life, so it's..

He's a young gay man who has had a few partners

He did have condom split so, you know,

At home, Karl's waiting for news from the clinic -

and he's got good reason to be worried.

I'm feeling a bit nervous, due to the last time I had a mishap

that opened my eyes in a very big way.

Had a one-night fling a few months ago and,

it's like...I'd rather be safe than sorry.

I just want to get these rumours proved wrong, that I am clean.

I keep thinking it's a text, and it ain't.

Hi, it's Alex, one of the staff nurses from Sexual Health.

So I've got some results for you, Karl.

You're all clear, so that's fantastic.

Congratulations. Thank you. OK, mate, take care.

The sense of relief must sometimes be...fantastic, really.

He can enjoy his weekend now, can't he?

Certainly. Through the door, up the stairs.

When I first started working, it was...

constantly, which got on people's nerves.

So I had got it down to maybe just the two now.

In Exeter, it's results day for Scott.

The week-long wait has given him the chance to reflect

Having something that can kill me slowly in time,

I think that would be the worst thing.

That would be...the worst nightmare of my whole life.

What the hell are you meant to do then?

So, we did the chlamydia and gonorrhoea test on urine.

And that's all negative, all clear, so that's brilliant. Brilliant

And then hepatitis B, hepatitis C, HIV and syphilis infections

were screened negative, so that's all good news.

Brilliant news - I'm all clear That's good.

And reduce the number of partner changes,

that's the way to go as well. Yeah.

And sometimes we worry when alcohol gets in the way.

It's normally alcohol... Mm. ..that blurs who it is, and ..

And we do hear stories where people are lured to a party,

go to the house, there's very few people there

and you may be very vulnerable and rape can then occur.

Do you need some condoms, while you're here?

Got enough to keep you going. Yeah. That's OK.

Take care of yourself, sweetheart. Thank you. Bye. Bye, then.

Yeah, I'd feel good coming back and getting tested again,

cos you know they're not going to judge you for anything.

Scott's had a lucky escape, but will the clinic's advice

to cut down on his drinking fall on deaf ears?

So, guys, I went to the clinic got myself tested out, at last

and, basically, I found out that I'm all clear of everything.

So I really think we should hold a toast

Tonight, Scott and his mates are going out on the town.

Once inside, it's straight to the bar.

But Scott's friends are hoping he won't be mixing his drinks

Sometimes, he drinks the same amount as us

but I don't think he can handle it as well.

I don't think he feels confident enough to go out

He had that litre of vodka, back at his, and I was like,

I think if he keeps drinking like he is,

Hopefully, he doesn't meet anyone, because I said to him,

"Don't sleep with anyone tonight", and he was like...

We get really worried cos he goes off doing God knows what

and, it kind of all seems like a joke when he tells you about it

Until he wakes up with chlamydia or HIV or something really awful..

Carl is celebrating his STI-freedom with his mate Bully

Have you ever, ever been to a clinic in your life, you?

I go at least every time I get with a new partner.

Every time. So then I know I'm not fucking passing nowt on.

I can't be responsible for this high of sexually-transmitted diseases

Mr Responsible! I am responsible unlike you.

Fuck that sticking fucking shit up my jap, man.

They don't do nowt, mate, just take blood samples

I have to sleep and shit. At least I have the balls to go and get cleaned

This is why society nowadays is falling apart, bruv.

Cos of all these STDs, cos no-one sees the point of going to get

checked out. But I don't have one-night stands.

No, but you've had women before and you still haven't been

That was a kind of a shock that he hadn't even thought about it

How would you know you both haven't got clap?

That's why I said - "Do you fancy going to get checked?"

At least it's your peace of mind knowing - "That's it, I'm clean "

I'll get him down there. If I have to, I'll drag him down there.

300 miles away in Exeter, it's results day for brothers

You've got herpes. I don't have herpes.

You got AIDS. Oof. Oof, that was a dark one.

Actually, no. From that girl from the festival.

No, not more like herpes. She was above somebody that would

She'd have chlamydia, maybe. She could.

HE LAUGHS Anything. Get the menu out.

To pass the time, they mull over the latest sexual trends.

OK, another one I've heard of is called iglooing, apparently.

That's a new one. Bear with me here...

And puts it in the freezer until it gets solid and then

uses it as... A dildo, don't say...

Pretty much a dildo. Don't say dildo. Yeah.

Well, it's a makeshift dildo. That's horrible.

Yeah. Have you ever heard... Why not just get a cucumber? Go to Tesco.

I've never heard of that one before. Put a condom round a cucumber.

Just get a dildo. Why would you shit in a condom

That one as well but why would you shit in a condom?

I hope you don't have anything after all this time waiting.

All clear. I heard all clear. All right, perfect.

Well, I've got my brother here as well.

Negative, good stuff. No HIV, no syphilis. Thank you. All done.

Surprising. It's not surprising, I knew.

We got lucky, didn't we? Got lucky, and got lucky.

Sex can still be fun with a plastic bag on.

Up in Leeds, Carl is back at the clinic.

he convinced his mate Bully to get tested too.

But it looks like Bully's not feeling so bullish.

I think a lot of people are really frightened about coming in,

especially guys, they've got this idea that we're going to put

this umbrella down their penis which we've never done.

I'm outside flipping clinic, where are you?

that reassurance that we're not that scary.

All right, Bully. At long last I thought you weren't going to come.

Bully's been in a relationship for four years.

Have you spoke to misses about coming here?

Yeah, I've told her, yeah. What she say?

She thinks I'm up to something Guilty conscience.

While Bully's girlfriend had a test before they got together

Bully didn't see the need. Hi-ya.

Lads, a lot of them think it's down to the girl.

If they're all right, then I'll be aright.

Sometimes, the girl will instigate and get them checked out

because men sometimes need a push to get checked out.

I thought it was for gay people and people that slept about.

I thought that's what clinic were for.

Get it filled in. Do you have a long term disability? Yes, him. Thanks.

Have you seen the chick behind the counter? Which girl?

The redhead, the one that was in there.

You pervert. You're like a puppy. Ooh. Shut up.

Yes. Hi there, do you want to come through, I'm Rachel. Hiya.

I'll take your notes, nice to meet you,

I'll make sure your details are correct, OK? Yep.

So you last had sex a week ago is that with someone regular?

Yes, that's with my partner. OK, male or female? Female.

What we would say, the way to work it is,

when you first get with someone use condoms,

and when you feel like that person's for you, we would say

both get checked out and then have unprotected sex,

cos if you found out you are chlamydia positive, the first

question the girl's going to ask is "How long have I had this

And these infections can cause problems with fertility,

good to get checked out at the beginning of the relationship, OK.

So, what I'm going to do is get you to pass urine for me,

I'm going take your blood for HIV and syphilis, OK.

Carl embarks on a more risky assignment.

I don't think it's the place to pick up anyone, do you?

Good morning, Leeds Centre For Sexual Health

And just put it on the little hatch, which is in the toilet, OK.

From our point of view, he does need checking for chlamydia.

If your partner has a negative set of results, you can't take

that as read that means your results are negative

We have had partners where one is positive and one is negative,

So we would just say, "When you first get with someone,

"that's the time to get checked out."

So you get your results in about three weeks, bruv. Three weeks? Yup.

That were painless though, wasn't it? It were all right.

Chloe's expecting her results and the wait is bringing back memories

I just assumed everything would be fine,

and then it wasn't and it just completely spiralled me out

and then everything was fine, got the all clear.

But if they hadn't caught it and I hadn't gone for my smear,

the likelihood is it can progress into something more horrible.

You're just kind of playing with your life

They said everything is clear. Everything is absolutely fine.

Five days ago, Iacopo had an HIV test

after an unprotected one-night stand.

He's mentally preparing for the results with his boyfriend, Aurelio.

Thinking about what if it's positive? I'm sure it's not.

If it's positive, I'm not going to just run away.

If I get something, you might get it as well.

If you get something, then I'll take it.

Been thinking all the time about the results.

OK, so you had the blood test for HIV test.

Yeah. All right.

I'm very relaxed now and I think I'm going to sleep tonight.

When I got the results from the HIV test, from the blood test,

the whole situation really changed me.

Maybe I should just stop hanging around with other guys. .

..and change the way we have the relationship.

a sexual relationship with anyone else.

MUSIC: "Sexy And I Know It" by LMFAO

It's been over a week since Bully was dragged to the clinic

by his mate Karl and it's time for the results.

Get killed by my girlfriend if I've got summat.

She knows she's clean so if I've got something,

He's got to go find someone else to pick on now. All good.

You did have one yesterday. You mustn't expect one every day.

That's a really big one! It's quite thick as well.

Alan has worked at the clinic for more than ten years

but there is a community that are into other forms of sexual activity.

Following his recent night out Scott's coming to talk to Alan

to try to understand his wild behaviour.

I don't remember even getting in the venue, really.

I don't really want to always go crazy like that.

Maybe talking to someone could open up something to help me.

I don't really meet anyone unless I'm drunk

Because I don't really want to talk to anyone sober.

With meeting people when you're in that hazy drunken state...

They could go back to your place or you go back to their place.

What's it like in the morning when you wake up?

Are they...? Do you get out of there as quick as possible?

My question would be, are you using alcohol to give you the guts

to go up to strangers and talk to them?

I guess the guts to go out and meet people.

What I'm picking up is that there is an issue about how shy are you?

The first person you have to be comfortable with is yourself.

If you're not comfortable with who you are,

how can you be comfortable with other people?

I need to just sort of get the confidence sober.

You look after yourself and I will see you on the 13th. OK.

I think the whole process will just motivate me

to have more courage to speak to people

and I am going to learn from it all and engage with the world!

It's nearing the end of a long week battling STIs

but boredom is never part of the job.

I like gonorrhoea because it's usually quite juicy and symptomatic.

Nice to see under the microscope. Actually make that diagnosis.

Come in with toilet paper wrapped around them.

..comes in after popping his cherry...

When you had sex, was it protected using a condom

I've never used protection. I'm shitting myself now.

..and Bones awaits his HIV test results.

Hi, I'm Sam - here's our check on the global news channels. Home at

last. France's F2 with the moment four hostages returned after three

years. Euronews explained they were seized by Al-Qaeda in Niger. F2

with claims a ransom was paid. A deadly bus crash in India. BBC

World News reported the luxury vehicle hit a barrier before

bursting into flames. It put the death toll at more than 40. The

spying row rumbles on. CNN had US intelligence chiefs