God Bless Ozzy Osbourne

CHEERING

MUSIC STARTS

This programme contains strong language from the start

and scenes which some viewers may find disturbing.

OZZY WHISTLES

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OZZY DOES VOCAL WARM-UPS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

INTRO MUSIC: "CARMINA BURANA"

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# People look to me and say

# Is the end near? When is the final day? #

Rock'n'roll's definitive crazy person.

# What's the future of mankind?

# How do I know? I got left behind. #

Ozzy Osbourne, who is known for biting the heads off of bats...

Hey, he's twisted but he's all right, man.

Another scientific mystery that's stumping scientists.

How is Ozzy Osbourne still alive after decades of drugs and alcohol?

# Everyone goes through changes

# Looking to find the truth

# Don't look at me for answers

# Don't ask me I don't know. #

What was that?

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

Happy birthday!

Well, we made it, Bill.

Good to see you, good to see you.

Nice to see you too.

It's good to see you, man.

It's fucking amazing.

I never thought that.

You look great.

I do.

Nice smile.

Come on, Ozzy - smile, it's your birthday!

I don't feel like fucking smiling. Shut the fuck up.

Come on, smile, it's your birthday. There you go.

'Looking back, I should have died a thousand times, but I never did.

'I never thought I'd make it to fucking 40.'

By 12 o'clock in the old days I'd have powder up my nose,

fucking shit in my veins and all kinds of stuff.

One, two, three.

Nice smile, ladies, come with your brother.

There's like one or two ways to get in this world,

but there are so many fucked-up ways to go out.

Once you're dead, you're gone.

I'm just a very fortunate man

to be still here talking to you about my life.

One, two, three. Louis, smile!

I am smiling!

'I've had a crazy life,'

and it ain't over yet.

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday, dear Ozzy

# Happy birthday to you. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OZZY BLOWS

CHEERS

'I was born John Michael Osbourne,

'December 3rd, 1948.'

'I was raised in Aston,

'a working-class suburb of Birmingham, England.'

'A lot of the city was destroyed by the Germans in World War II.'

I used to play on a bombed building site,

thinking it was the name of a place that you go and play,

not realising it was a building that had been bombed in the war.

That's my grandma, my mother, and Gillian, my sister.

My three sisters.

My sister Jean, my sister Iris and my sister Gillian.

We're a working-class family. There wasn't a lot of money about.

We lived in a small terraced house.

Six children had to share the same bedroom.

We were the poorest kids in the street, there was no doubt about it.

'I didn't come from fucking royalty. I didn't come from'

a middle-class or upper-class background.

Where I came from was like...

the very bottom end of the scale, you know?

'We were all from the same area in Birmingham in England.'

It was very much a working-class area, uh,

I don't think any of us had, like, hot water

or indoor toilets or... things like that.

My mother and father.

He was a good guy. He was, um, you know, he was a...

He worked hard all his life, you know?

Would never miss a day from work.

If he ever missed a day off you knew he was fucked.

He used to work nights at a factory.

'John used to go out'

and have a drink, get in fights and that was it.

From what I saw, Johnny was always in and out of trouble,

Dad was always telling him off.

And one day, Dad says he'll either get killed or, you know...

He'll die one way or the other, you know what I mean?

A lot of the kids turned to crime, and I did for a time,

but I wasn't really good at it. I didn't want to do it, really.

"John Michael Osbourne, aged 18.

"Break and enter the shop of Clara Sharpe

"and steal therein two coats, 20 pairs of stockings."

Fined 20 quid.

Cut a long story short, the police come around

and says to Mr Osbourne, "Does John Osbourne live here?"

And our dad says, "There he is - take him."

I got locked up in Winston Green Prison for about six weeks.

When I eventually got out of prison, life still felt hopeless for me.

I'd let my family down for being arrested.

I had no idea what I wanted to do.

Really there were about three or four choices when we were teenagers.

One was... We would either probably go to prison,

or go in the factories or go in the army.

'I remember being in a factory'

and one bloke I said to, "How long have you been working here?"

And he goes "Oh, 35 years this year,

"and I'm retiring - I'll get a gold watch."

I thought, a fucking gold watch?

35 years of your life have been in this fucking factory.

And I just couldn't handle it, you know.

I had job after job after job.

I could never hold a job down, I didn't want to.

I couldn't, I couldn't... I used to think, "Fuck this.

"Is this me for the rest of my life?"

John wanted things which he couldn't have.

Something inside him wanted to get out.

Nothing really happened to me in my life until the Beatles happened.

And then it was like someone had turned the world on for me.

They played She Loves You on the radio

and I remember thinking to myself, "Fucking hell, this is incredible."

From that moment on, when I first heard She Loves You,

I knew I wanted to be a rock star for the rest of my life.

Come on!

MUSIC: "Paranoid"

You are number one!

# And so as you hear these words

# Telling you now of my state

# I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could

# But it's too late... #

Hey!

Thank you, goodnight!

God bless you all! Stay safe!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Adrenaline from the gig.

Hello, is Sharon about?

Just tell her the gig was phenomenal.

The crowd was fucking unbelievable.

It's fucking...undescribable.

It's like a divine experience, you know?

All right, I'll call back. Speak to you later. Bye.

'I'm lucky - I'm 60 years of age,

'I'm still travelling all over the world.'

I'm still having gigs, doing gigs

and people still want to see me.

-CHANTING:

-Ozzy! Ozzy! Ozzy! Ozzy!

It's Ozzy night, man. It's the night of the living dead.

I've been fucking listening to him since I was nine, ten.

Yeah, man, I got those ones.

I got that one and then I got that one.

A big Black Sabbath cross on my leg.

Number one Ozzy fan.

Since Black Sabbath days. Check this out.

Fucking love it, man.

CHEERING

Crouch down.

I remember when I was a fan of the Beatles,

and I always had my fantasies.

if it's going to make somebody's day a little bit better to say,

"Wow, I met Ozzy Osbourne today," I mean, that's my job, you know?

Can you get this, please?

Sure.

Just right down, right down there.

Sharon goes to me,

"You get back there and sign that fucking autograph."

I, I go, "What do you mean, my darling?"

And she says, "Well, one day you're going to be...

"If they don't ask for your autograph

-"that's when we got a problem."

-Check out my shirt.

You can't fuck it up no more than President Bush.

I have something for you. Here's your own.

Thank you!

'I go down the road and if I get recognised,'

I get pissed off. But if I don't get recognised, I get pissed off.

People have recognised me for a lot of years

and for a lot of different reasons.

I just want my audience to know

that I have not abandoned them to become a fucking weatherman.

Wonder how many signatures you've signed.

LAUGHTER

MUSIC: "War Pigs"

# Generals gathered in their masses

# Just like witches at black masses

# In the field the bodies burning

# As the war machine keeps turning

# Evil minds that plot destruction

# Sorcerer of death's construction

# It's the same wherever you go

# To the war pigs people know

# Oh, Lord, yeah... #

Sabbath was monumental.

A huge influence on Metallica.

'Black Sabbath was a big deal for me.'

Man, we worshipped those records.

'They were like pioneers on so many levels, you know,'

doing new things with rhythm and with musical interaction.

'I mean, listening to it now,'

it doesn't sound that crazy at all, you know?

But then it was quite sort of... off the wall.

'My very first memory of Black Sabbath,'

I just remember hearing...

COUGHS

BEATBOXES HEAVY DRUMMING

I was like, "Oh my God, this is insane!"

Thank you very much.

Before Black Sabbath, I was in a band

with Tony Iommi and Geezer. What we...

What was next needed really was a singer.

So, uh, we went to this music shop in Birmingham

where all the musicians used to hang out.

'Ozzy had put this little calling card

'in a music shop called Jones & Crossland'

and he had written, "Ozzy Zig needs a gig."

The first time I ever met Ozzy was at school.

He, he, he was like... For want of a better word, a nuisance.

And so when Bill and I walked up to Ozzy's door

I saw him in the back room walking in, and I said to Bill, "Forget it."

I just thought, "This is going be a joke."

Ozzy wrote the magic words, "has his own PA",

because nobody could afford PAs back then.

If you sang and had a PA, you got the job.

We didn't even have to hear him.

Although money was very scarce in the household,

I asked my father to buy me a PA system.

It was the best gift I ever had,

because had he not got that PA for me

I don't think I would ever have got a gig.

The first time we got, we got together it went down great.

And, uh... No, it was good.

In the early days it was just

fucking guys having a blast, you know.

You know, if we had never have made anything of ourself

it was a good time for me just to be around a bunch of guys

with fuck all to lose and everything to gain. It was great.

We used to rehearse across the street from a movie theatre.

And, um, I think it was Tony who said, "Ain't it weird

"that people go, go to movies to get scared?

"Why don't we start doing scary music?"

THUNDER ROLLS

MUSIC: "Black Sabbath"

# What is this that stands before me?

# Figure in black which points at me... #

And that's how the beginnings of Sabbath started.

# Oh, no! #

'And when we used to play that song live in the early days,'

kids would just fucking scream and run out.

# People running cos they're scared... #

'And we started getting invites to fucking black masses

'in fucking Highgate fucking cemetery'

at fucking 12 o'clock. And we're like, "is this for real?", you know.

We never thought it was real.

In life we know about the dark side and the light side,

the good side and the bad side.

I think that's the attraction, it hadn't been dealt with

till Black Sabbath started dealing with it

and people go, "Oh yeah, this is great."

You know, "Well cool." It's like the attraction of Dracula and vampires.

It's, uh, it's a rich source for exploration, I would think.

'What happened with Sabbath...'

For instance, Black Sabbath 1, the first album,

we recorded that in 12 hours, believe it or not.

The whole thing was done in 12 hours on an eight-track machine

in a little backstreet studio in London

and cost, like, ten bucks to make.

It was one of the biggest-selling albums I ever did.

'And the manager comes up to me and he goes,'

"Your album is going in the chart next week at number 17."

I says, "Fuck off, you're joking, you're winding me up." "No."

When I got my first record royalty advance in money

I got £105, which is about 220.

I went out and bought myself some shoes and some socks,

some trousers,

and a bottle of Brut cologne which I liked the smell.

I've always liked to smell nice. I used to stink.

Coming from having nothing, literally fucking zero,

no socks on my feet,

walking around in fucking open sandals in the winter.

From that to a pair of fucking socks and shoes.

Big time, you know?

Then the next one, Paranoid, comes out.

The song Paranoid went up the English charts.

The album went straight in at number one in England.

It was like, "Fucking hell, what?"

That was our second album we got our number one album.

We were like "Fucking hell, man."

The real rock star vibe, you know, hit us.

This is the first one I ever got.

Gold disc from...

It's fucking spelled my name O-S-S-I-E, which is fucking great.

But those early days were fucking fantastic.

We all had a laugh,

we'd fuck around, we'd fucking smoke dope, drink beer, you know.

Going around with him was a total adventure -

we never knew what was going to happen.

Ozzy would often walk into a room naked.

In the early days he was absolute bedlam.

Me and Oz were kind of like a wrecking crew in the hotel room.

So we'd dismantle the bathroom completely.

Just have big sledgehammers,

and toilet, sink, all gone, put it outside, everything goes outside.

I remember I got a picture early on

of him setting fire to Bill Ward's beard.

And Ozzy'd be laughing and Bill would just sit there.

'Growing up, Ozzy was a real prankster,'

but especially in his twenties with Sabbath,

he was like the band clown.

He always, like, got everyone going, laughing.

He did that because that was his shield.

That protected his insecurities.

Ozzy had low self-worth.

He always considered himself "less than".

That's how, you know, he survived everything,

was just being the prankster.

And what do you do to relax?

Smoke marijuana.

LAUGHTER

-You were joking when you said that, of course?

-Yeah, right.

'With the success of the albums came more money,

'which enabled us to buy a better class of drug, basically,'

which is basically what we were all doing it for at the time.

Cocaine and acid and stuff like that.

This is a good old cocaine shot. We were all fucked up on this.

Look at the face.

When you took cocaine you just lose all expression in your face.

'We did the album Volume 4, and we'd been in Los Angeles'

recording that for about three months.

We used to have it in...cereal boxes of cocaine delivered to the house.

We'd just tip it into this big bowl and sort of...

A bit like Scarface, kind of thing.

For a while we used LSD before we played.

And so we would go on stage, you know, tripping.

Come on!

Let's party!

Oh, yeah!

MUSIC: "Children of the Grave"

SCREAMS AND CHEERS

# Revolution in their mind

# Children start to march

# They hate the world in which they have to live

# Oh, the hate that's in their hearts

# They're tired of being pushed around

# And told just what to do

# They'll fight the world until they've won

# And love comes flowing through, yeah... #

'I was young, had money, I had cars, I had a fucking house.'

I was fucking king of the world at fucking 23.

Thank you VERY much!

We'll see you again soon.

'Shortly after I became successful'

with Black Sabbath, I met Thelma in a nightclub.

Then we got married and we had two children, Jessica and Louis.

And this is a picture of my parents.

That was actually at the Hilton Hotel in Las Vegas.

There are some lovely ones.

Him looking very young and handsome and sultry.

This is a nice... These are nice ones -

before we had our house decorated,

so this must have been very early 1972.

Got a Black Sabbath sticker on the telephone.

'My recollection from my childhood with Dad is that he'd be away for'

very long periods of time. Um, and there would always be

a period of adjustment when he came home.

And then it would get to normality and then he'd go again.

So it was a very erratic childhood with Dad.

This is Dad, Dad got into the local newspaper

for prize green beans that he had grown.

Nice picture of the house and our vegetable garden.

'He was always a very big social drinker'

so the pubs in the villages where we all grew up

were a very big part of the social scene. So he would go to the pub.

The only thing in the English countryside really back then

was pubs. So I'd, I'd go, "Oh, there's a pub there,

"the house is just down the road. Ideal.

"I haven't got a driving license.

"If I want to, I can walk to the pub and back."

My idea of going for a drink was to go to a pub,

get as much poured down my neck as I could, and stumble out.

That was my idea of a drink.

When he was around and he wasn't pissed, he was a great father.

But, you know, that was kind of seldom, really.

I just have a lot of memories of him being drunk.

Fucking just random shit. Fucking driving cars across fields

and crashing them in the middle of the night and stuff.

It's just... It's not good for family life, really, you know.

When you drink alcohol and someone goes, "Dad, help me do this math,"

you go, "What the fuck are you even bothering me for?" you know.

It just gets a big ugly scene, but that's the way your life becomes.

I don't remember being put to bed or bathed,

or that kind of thing by Dad.

Um, I wouldn't say he was there for us, no - never on a sports day

or school trip, a parents' evening, he wasn't, he wasn't like that, no.

It just pissed me off that Dad never remembered my birthday.

Just a fucking phone call to say, "Happy birthday, Lou."

That was all I wanted, but he couldn't remember that.

When was Jessica born?

Sorry?

When was Jess born?

I think it was '71, '72.

Before... maybe before...

I don't... I don't really know. I can find out for you.

Do you, do you think he was a good parent?

No.

'I did the best I could in that situation.

'I was fucking twenty fucking two'

and I had the... I mean, people knew who I was.

I could drive the fucking Mercedes,

fly on Concorde to New York fucking first class.

Stay at a nice hotel. You know, I mean, I was a rock star.

When you become a successful rock star

they don't give you a handbook and say, "You should learn these rules,

"here's what you gotta stick by."

It's the fucking world.

You know, you're young, you got money, you're successful,

chicks want to be seen with you.

You know it's, it's... What more can you say, you know?

It's just probably stress or anxiety.

I don't know. I'm not anxious, I feel OK.

Well, you don't...

You've told me before that you get wound up at gigs.

No, but the last I was great.

I mean, I just went out and did it, you know.

I'm not wound up at all.

-TAPE:

-OK there, Ozzy, here we go.

Now give me muhm, muhm, muhm, M-U-H-M.

# Muhm-muhm-muhm muhm-muhm-muhm-muhm muhm-muhm-muhm... #

Now we're going to give it the "gee, gee, gee," slightly hooty.

End with the long one and say...

# Gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee... #

Now, Oz, give me a plain old "ooo" and the same thing. Say...

# Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo. #

# Na na na na na na... #

OK, we're going to give you a chance to rest for a little bit

and then we'll start again.

'I love my job, you know.'

I'm very fucking passionate about it.

When I can't give a good show I get pissed off about it, you know.

When I can't do my job I'm, I'm...

I suffer from terminal perfectionism.

I'm going to flip-flop Bark at the Moon with Suicide Delusion.

Um, Crazy Train, and leave it as the old set.

Yeah. I mean, if you want to get your pipes in shape

we can do Fire in the Sky

because that's low for you to sing, you know what I mean?

Yeah, but... I'll know when I get there, you know, if I can sing.

Exactly, you know.

But I'm not going to fucking do all this shit. Ironman.

I mean, we're going to go over everything.

We'll be here until fucking midnight going over all this shit.

We've gotta have a little while.

-Just keep going until we get it right.

-All right.

# The light in the window is a crack in the sky

# A stairway to darkness in the blink of an eye

# A levee of tears to learn she'll never be coming back

# The man in the dark will bring another attack... #

Not every night I'm great, and not every night I'm half-great.

Sometimes I'm terrible - my voice goes out like everybody else's.

But the show goes on.

DISTORTED VOCALS

People can't get...

Fucking, I'm deaf. Next year I'll be like fucking Braille, man.

TURNS TV ON

Here you are.

You're so tired, that's why.

'I first met Ozzy when Black Sabbath'

asked if my father was interested in managing them.

Black Sabbath was a phenomenon. It just instantly happened.

And for guys that just came from a poor background

to suddenly money everywhere being thrown at them,

they were really out of their comfort zone,

those guys, they really were.

When you think, you know, they were all so young - terribly young.

Towards the late '70s we were very high, high, high.

There was a lot of cocaine.

I know was I using cocaine regularly, on a daily basis.

We were doing it every day, like 24 hours a day practically.

So I didn't realise at the time

all the management was interested was ripping as much money off of us

as they possibly could.

I mean, Sabbath was royally fucking ripped off, royally ripped off.

I mean, we didn't know anything about royalties or...

I didn't even know you GOT royalties for, for writing the music.

Circa about 1976,

I produced this report, quite a long report,

basically saying how their money wasn't quite as they thought it was.

For example, they all had houses, but they didn't own them.

We had all these million platinum-selling albums

and everything and, um, and nothing to show for it.

No money, we were all out of our brains on dope.

Um, so the band was just, like, split anyway.

Uh, it had been broken, really.

Hello. Welcome to Top of the Pops,

and right now here is a rundown of the brand new Top 30.

Right now, Never Say Die.

That's the brand new one from Black Sabbath.

# People going nowhere Taken for a ride

# Looking for the answers that they know inside

# Searching for a reason Looking for a rhyme

# Snow White's mirror said Partners in crime... #

'The last album I did with Sabbath was Never Say Die.'

And it was the worst piece of work

that I've ever had anything to do with.

I'm ashamed of that album. I think it was disgusting.

APPLAUSE

He puts everything he's got into it. That's Black Sabbath right there.

John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John

have gone straight in at number 23 this week...

'When his dad passed away,'

it really, really, really, really knocked the shit out of him.

It nearly destroyed him.

We were all devastated. We all loved Jack.

It was Jack, uh, that had given us the crosses.

This is the original, original, original Sabbath cross.

My father made that when he was at work.

And then when he, when he come back with it,

everyone in the band wanted one, and he made another.

Bill Ward wore his right up to relatively recently.

I always wanted a man-to-man conversation with my father

but I was too into drugs and alcohol before he died.

I miss my father a lot, you know.

Uh, but I was young, I was, you know, I was doing...

I was riding the fame game for a long time.

'Oz was in absolute turmoil'

and he, he put his self right inside the bottle, you know.

He stayed there for a while.

And, uh, so we got on with trying to make a another record.

And we all came over to LA to do the album after Never Say Die

and Ozzy didn't turn up for two weeks.

Two weeks later he, he just, like,

rolls through the door, smashed out of his head.

He'd beaten somebody up on the plane coming over from England

and Customs had arrested him for beating this person up.

And by the time he got to the house he was just, like, obliterated.

And we started, like, rehearsing. He just wouldn't sing on anything.

"That's shit, a load of crap, that is."

Ozzy just wasn't into it. He really wasn't into it then.

Most of the time, he'd be on the couch asleep.

Done some Quaaludes or whatever it might have been at that time.

I mean, he wasn't happy.

He was doing too much of everything. As we all were,

but some people can handle it better than others, and he couldn't.

'The conversations began'

about the possibility of looking at another singer.

He just didn't want to be there. And we knew it was like

either the whole band split or we get somebody else in.

It was me that actually says to him, you know,

"Oz, we're going to move on, we're going to move on without you."

Broke my heart.

We all cried our eyes out for about a week

when Ozzy had gone because we...

I swear to God if he hadn't have...

If he hadn't have been fired from the band

he'd have been dead, like, within... within a month.

It was tough for Ozzy when he first got let go from Sabbath.

He had no... Very low self-esteem.

He had no confidence whatsoever.

When I got fired from Sabbath I didn't know what, what to do.

I didn't know where to go.

I thought, well, you know, it was...

I thought it was the end of the dream, you know?

I never, I never ever dreamed I would do it again on my own.

I was like, "This is it."

So what money I had, I just got fucked up and bought drugs

and stayed in an apartment for three months and got loaded.

You'd go into Ozzy's room

and he'd be curled up on the floor covered in piss,

beer bottles all around him,

you know, drug paraphernalia everywhere.

And what could be sadder, what could be lower than that?

His dignity had well gone.

Ozzy did feel very alone, lost and broke.

Suddenly he was out of the band and, you know, would he get picked up

and who was interested in him and was his career over?

For, for a guy like me who's got self-esteem issues,

the idea of going solo was very, very scary.

I knew he had great talent,

and I just felt in my gut that he could make a huge comeback.

It was then that I became his actual manager, properly.

And first thing, we had to find that band.

We auditioned hundreds of guitar players.

Literally we would turn up at the rehearsal rooms

and there would be lines around the block

of musicians waiting to see Ozzy.

It was a bit of a slow process at first

until I met someone who put me in touch with Randy Rhoads.

Randy had like a deepish voice for a little guy, "wow", you know.

So he goes into the studio and I'm fucking sitting there

in the studio window thing like that looking out.

I'm fucking zonked and he goes, "What do you want me to do?"

I says, "Play any fucking thing."

He said, "I have a solo," and he played his fucking solo

and I was like, "Am I that fucking stoned or am I hallucinating?

"What the fuck is this?"

GUITAR SOLO

# Heirs of a cold war

# That's what we've become

# Inheriting troubles

# I'm mentally numb... #

So he was very lucky to run into Randy Rhoads.

And the guitar sound really reinvented Ozzy's voice.

# ..Driving me insane

# I'm going off the rails on a crazy train. #

And he had a true writing partner and a friend.

And they really clicked.

Everybody thought maybe he'd be down and out

because of what happened with Sabbath.

And he just shocked the world.

Especially with Randy Rhoads and the,

the magnitude of what this guy was doing.

I mean, this guy is giving Eddie Van Halen a run for his money.

Everybody thought that Eddie Van Halen was the king.

Well, I knew instinctively that he was something extra-special.

He was like...a gift from God.

And having that fucking thing, having a gift from a higher power...

Oh, I don't know what the fucking deal was,

but this guy did something to me. And one thing that he...

One thing that he gave to me was hope.

He gave me a reason for carrying on.

Blizzard of Ozz, the first record, was done in six weeks.

It was just, you know, instantly, instantly blew up everywhere.

# Steal away the night... #

He went right on tour through Europe with the band.

Then back into the studio

three months later to do Diary of a Madman.

Less than a year after being fired

from Black Sabbath, Ozzy was a rock star again.

CHEERING

HOWLS

Can't hear you!

Diary of a Madman Tour was just massive.

It was the loudest show I've ever been a part of.

Come on!

# Over the mountain

# Take me across the sky

# Something in my vision

# Something deep inside

# Where did I wander

# Where d'ya think I wander to?

# I've seen life's magic

# Astral plane I travel through

# I heard them tell me that

# This land of dreams was now

# I told them I had ridden shooting stars

# And said I'd show them how. #

'That show was just like a magical time.'

I think Randy and Ozzy gelled together like,

like left and right hand. It was just amazing.

Their friendship was...

It was just like two best mates hanging out and laughing.

But yet, that passion for music...

I mean, everything was the albums that they were writing and the gigs

and just music talk the whole time.

You know, Randy was able to achieve a lot

in a very short period of time

and a lot of it was due to Ozzy's mentorship.

Randy, on behalf of the over half-million readers

of Guitar Player magazine in the US

and in 70 countries throughout the world

I'd like to present you with the 1981 Best New Talent Award.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Give him a kiss, Ozzy.

'I've got a lot of work to do.'

It makes you realise this is a lot of responsibility,

and this, this tour I want to really get myself together

and work harder, you know, cos I'm really proud and honoured.

And I don't want to stop here, you know?

-TV:

-Randy Rhoads, the 25-year-old lead guitarist

for Ozzy Osbourne's group, was killed in a plane crash this morning

along with two other people - Andrew Aycock, the pilot of the plane,

also Rachel Youngblood, the group's hairdresser.

Ozzy Osbourne himself was in the van

when one of the plane's wings clipped it,

but Ozzy escaped injury, we understand.

25-year-old Randy Rhoads is dead today.

The morning that Randy was killed I'll never forget.

I never forget... We... When, when... You know, we had...

We were there for so many hours because it took so long for...

for the authorities who came down, the police and the fire department.

We finally went to a nearby hotel

and I just couldn't stay in my room so I went down.

I went out in the street and I found a church,

right down the street.

All I wanted to do was just sit there and be...

and just, you know, make some sense of what was going on.

And I didn't even look up.

And I'm sitting there

and I hear this sobbing and this, and this crying and...

And I thought, "Wow, this, this person has got to be

"in more pain than I am."

And I look up and there's Ozzy sitting there.

The craziest day of my life was the day that Randy Rhoads died.

I couldn't believe that one... You gotta deal with that, you know.

People tend to forget people in this business so quickly.

That guy was my brother, man,

that guy was like a part of my life, you know, and he's dead.

Why don't people start talking to me about the death of Randy Rhoads

instead of asking me the craziest prank that I've ever done?

That was the craziest prank that I've ever witnessed,

was seeing that guy burn, you know.

And the day that Randy Rhoads died, it was a day a part of me died, man.

And Rachel Youngblood, my, my seamstress.

I can't forget that, you know. It just gets kind of weird.

OZZY DOES VOCAL EXERCISES

It's Friday... Saturday, yeah?

Today is Saturday, yes.

I don't know what country I'm in half the time.

-I don't know what fucking time it is.

-Tell me about it.

CHANTING

# Mr Crowley

# What went on in your head?

# Oh, Mr Crowley

# Did you talk to the dead?

# Your lifestyle to me seemed so tragic

# With the thrill of it all

# You fooled all the people with magic

# You waited on Satan's call

# Mr Charming

# Did you think you were pure?

# Mr Alarming

# In nocturnal rapport

# Uncovering things that were sacred

# Manifest on this Earth

# Conceived in the eye of a secret

# And they scattered the afterbirth

# Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... #

GUITAR SOLO

# Hey

# Mr Crowley

# Won't you ride my white horse?

# Oh, Mr Crowley... #

After the Diary of a Madman Tour,

I went to Barbados with my family.

My ex-wife told me on the plane coming back, "I want a divorce."

But, you know, that's very ugly for a while.

My children still wanted their father, their dad, you know.

And that's a fucking dreadful feeling that you have to go through.

I remember going to my house one day and Louis, my son, was a little kid

and he, and he got me in a...

I can remember him sticking his fingernails in

and tears were streaming down his face

and he says, "Daddy, please come home, we can work this out."

That one incident tore my heart out. Tore my fucking heart out.

It's, it just fucked me up.

I don't know... Anyway, it really devastated me.

Ozzy and I were friends.

We worked together and that was it.

But it wasn't until August of 1980

that we actually had a relationship going.

We were at... The first night that we were actually together

in Shepperton in 1980,

and then the next day I thought, well, you know, it just happened.

Drunk, we were, you know, in the moment, it will all be over.

-And each night after the show...

-It happened again.

It happened again and again and again.

And then we'd be...

It was either we were in the pub, in bed or on stage. That was it.

-That's about it, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I didn't know they had a relationship or anything,

and I'm shooting Ozzy in the bed and then all of a sudden

Sharon, uh, goes under the covers.

All of a sudden, Sharon is down there like she's...

doing the deed, you know, like, and Ozzy is just, like, freaking.

Ozzy and I got married in 1982 in Maui.

And we wanted to start a family - that's why we got married.

We both wanted our own family.

Dad was there for me when I was growing up, and there were...

There were times, like chunks.

You know, but then again there were loads of times

where he, you know, he wasn't a great father

and he wasn't, you know, there, you know, there when I needed him.

Meaning, you know, the fact that he was messed up a lot of the time.

Well, when he was drunk, he was mostly tearful.

Um, and sometimes he'd get a bit angry

and a bit like, "I work hard, I should be able to do what I want."

Um, but mostly tearful.

I don't honestly think that Ozzy knew how to be a father.

The drinking, you know,

the huge success that was going on in his life.

The turmoil of leaving one family and starting another family -

he was just, you know, he was like treading water.

And that caused the behaviour to get even worse.

So his pranks that he used to play

would get bigger and larger and crazier

and his whole behaviour on and offstage was over the top.

And it was like, um,

insanity just going around and around and around -

complete insanity.

-TV:

-Rock star Ozzy Osbourne,

who is known for biting the heads off of bats at his concerts...

Osbourne was arrested for urinating on the Alamo.

Reunion Arena was filled with the anticipation

of a cat slaughter tonight.

Rumour was that punk rocker Ozzy Osbourne

was going to release hundreds of cats here

and expected the audience to kill them

before his appearance on stage.

The lyrics from one of his songs

encouraged a young man to commit suicide.

His father claims John was listening to Ozzy Osbourne music at the time.

You have a reputation for being rock and roll's definitive crazy person.

Well, I suppose you could say that.

Can we talk about you being crazy?

I'm not crazy.

'In the '80s,'

I was the craziest guy in rock and roll.

If you... If you wanted me to do something, tell me not to.

That was about the order of the fucking...

I was drunk and fucked up on a daily basis.

So when you get drunk and fucked up,

you hardly expect to fucking

tiptoe through the tulips or whatever the fuck.

And when you're loaded, you do crazy things.

MANIACAL LAUGH

It was the first time

that Ozzy met the A&R staff, promotional staff,

at CBS in Los Angeles.

And, um, you know, Ozzy's deal was a cheap deal -

they didn't want Ozzy.

It was a favour that they signed Ozzy.

It was just a favour.

You know, 65 grand they paid for the album.

So he wasn't on their high list of priorities, you know.

They had fucking Michael Jackson,

and it was like "OK, well, they've got to remember you."

And so then we said, "Oh, the doves of peace - that'll be nice,"

you know, go in and let the birds go and then it'll be lovely

and, you know, they'll remember.

Maybe it'll shit on somebody's desk and that'll be funny.

And then we leave.

She wanted me to go in there with two doves -

a peace offering, you know.

She says, "You blow this and we're completely fucked."

We go into the meeting and there's, you know,

the big conference table and there must have been,

I don't know, 20, 30 people in there.

And he's sat there and he lets this bird go

and everybody is, "Ooh!" You know, "Magic trick!" "Oh, is that real?"

I threw the one up in the air, sat on this girl's lap

and snapped the other one in my mouth and bit its head off.

There is a photo somewhere of me, of the actual event happening.

He just picked it up,

and ripped its head off and spat it out on the girl.

And she went absolutely fucking insane.

They suddenly called the security

and we were, like, yanked out of the conference room.

It was not a publicity stunt.

I was just out of my fucking face on drugs and alcohol, you know.

What is the truth behind Ozzy biting a head off of a bat?

The bat started because of the dove.

Kids kept hearing these stories so they would bring him animals

to the gigs...

thinking that he would want to eat them.

And somebody threw a bat...

To find someone who goes to a concert with a bat in their...

a real bat. You always get the joke ones, you know.

You get the rubber ones you buy from the corner joke shop.

And I picked it up and I thought, "This will be good."

Bit into this bat.

You bit it?!

Believe me, if I'd have known it was a real live bat,

I would never have picked it up.

But I'll tell you what,

afterwards, the rabies shots were horrendous.

Oh, God, yes.

It went out on the wire that Ozzy had bitten the head off a bat

and had to have these rabies shots.

And then suddenly, Ozzy is this larger than life character.

When we were on tour with Ozzy,

we'd always have these crazy parties backstage.

He would come onto our bus

and say, "I'm riding with you guys to the next city!"

And he'd fucking reach into his...

into his coat pocket or his pants and pull out, like,

two huge bags of cocaine

and he goes, "I've got bags of this shit!"

And we would, fucking...

All of us would go to the back of the bus

and we would fucking snort cocaine

for fucking, you know, ten-hour bus rides.

And we're walking into hotels like the Four Seasons

or the Ritz-Carltons where like, you know, mom and dad were a happy family

or out by the pool and everybody is like, "the little resort"

and here comes Motley Crue and Ozzy just fucking blasted.

And it was like this, "who can out-gross" contest

which Nikki kind of started, and all of a sudden,

we're sitting out by the pool having drinks

and Nikki pisses on the ground and goes to lick up his own piss

to freak Ozzy out.

Well, Ozzy beats him to the punch and starts licking up Nikki's piss.

And we're like, "Oh, fuck!"

"This is fucked up! What is wrong with you two?!"

And the hotel is freaking out.

The security is kicking us out of the pool.

This is like, they're doing the out-gross contest, snorting ants,

fucking licking up piss.

I'm like, "Dude, let's just go to the fucking room,

"let's just chill out, come on."

(MIMICS OZZY) "I'm in the fucking right and fucking..."

I'm like, "Dude, please."

I fucking grabbed him like, "Come on!" I take him to the elevator.

I find his room, put the key in. I'm like, "OK, bud."

I, like, push the door open, "OK, bud, you're in your room, bye!"

He's like, "No, fucking come here, mate!"

And I'm like "Oh, fuck, I almost got out of here."

And he pulls me into his room, pulls his pants down

and just shits on the fucking floor.

A fucking big shit on the floor.

-And I'm like...

-HE RETCHES

"OK, dude, I've got to go."

(MIMICS OZZY) "No, fucking come here!"

And he fucking drags me back in and he picks up the shit in his hands

and he's just smearing it all over the walls

of this fucking hotel room.

I'm like, "Dude, I've got to go, this is fucked up."

And I just...

I just remember turning around and I just saw his back

and he was just painting with this shit on the walls.

And I just, fucking, was like, "Now is my chance."

And I fucking pinned it out of there, dude.

I was like, this is on some other, next level shit.

Like, I'm not really ready to compete at this level.

I'm cool with, you know, taking a shit in the toilet.

HE LAUGHS

I think that Ozzy's behaviour in the '80s...

I think it's a fact of...

Um, everything, Ozzy had always lost.

You know, he'd lost Sabbath, he lost his first wife,

he lost his first kids, he's...

you know, everything would come and go.

So he was, like, fucking everything that fucking had a pulse.

Sniffing everything he could sniff because he thought that it

was all going to end so he was going to go out on a high.

# Screams break the silence

# Waking from the dead of night... #

I hated this video.

It's so fucking lame.

I don't like it.

Fucking stu... Everybody was fucked up and drunk and everything.

Look at it! I don't even know what drugs

I was addicted to at the fucking time.

# Buried in a nameless grave... #

So, next, come on.

# Well I know

# I could be just another stranger... #

It's a cliched fucking '80s video, that is.

# I guess I'm just another fool... #

I can't remember doing this fucking thing.

I was a mess in the '80s.

I was doing fucking morphine, um, Vicodin,

fucking booze... all kinds of shit.

I can't remember. I just can't remember it at all.

Never happened.

# I'm breaking all the rules Breaking all the rules... #

Next!

It's hokey.

# And that's the ultimate sin... #

"Whose idea was it?"

How the fuck do I know?! This is boring.

You know, it's fucking hard to go back there, you know

and a lot of it, I don't want to go back there, you know.

# Anyway, I look into you

# The doors are closing Cannot be opened... #

Where are you going?

I'm getting up and walking around.

I don't fucking want to watch this shit.

# Your momma told you that

# You're not supposed to talk to strangers

# Look in the mirror, tell me

# Do you think your life's in danger here?

I can't fucking hear you!

# No more tears. #

APPLAUSE

Let's get on with this, then.

What does it feel like tonight? You have a tour starting tomorrow.

Is it always like this or this is an exception?

Yeah.

Yeah, it is. Come on, come on!

Yeah.

No, no, no, it's like...we do...

uh, what, 16 days ago, we got over from Japan...

When Ozzy was drunk, he was fucked up beyond belief.

I mean, to the point where he would drink

until he couldn't drink anymore. Where he would be unconscious.

That's the only thing that would stop him drinking. He'd be unconscious or asleep.

He was blacking out.

He was drinking and going unconscious on the floor.

He couldn't move.

His eyes would be open but he would be, like, unconscious. It was weird.

I passed out with a bottle of fucking Vicodin in my mouth!

Mainly, I was concerned about him, like, choking on his vomit,

falling asleep when he was drunk and choking on his vomit.

This is me on my stag night. I'm fucking blasted.

I think it was in Memphis, Ozzy disappeared

and, you know, he got found in the middle of a freeway.

You know, he crossed over half of a freeway and stopped in the middle

and he was in the central reservation and he was sleeping.

And he woke up and he had to cross the other half.

I mean, how he didn't get knocked over

because he was absolutely shit-faced.

This is when I clocked Sharon, I think. I think so.

We were always fucking fighting, me and Sharon.

That's when I smacked her, Sharon, in the eye...

for over what, I don't know.

It had been coming for a while.

Ozzy was on a bender, you know.

He was, he was really on a roll.

He'd been very bad for the last couple of weeks

and we'd had a couple of fights where we'd beaten each other

and, you know, it was nasty.

But you kind of get the, you know, when anyone who knows, who lives

with an addict, that there are times when it's worse than others.

And it was just building to something,

you could just feel it in the atmosphere between us.

And, um, my God, it did.

And he put...

I'd put the kids to bed.

You know, we were sat down, I was reading and, um, he came in.

He'd been laying down.

He'd actually drunk himself into one of those, you know,

like, comatose things on the bed.

He'd passed out and woke up, came downstairs and

I knew when he came in that he was, like, looking for trouble.

And Ozzy is very rarely calm, very calm,

and his eyes, the kind of shutter had gone down on his eyes.

You couldn't really... you know.

I had no idea who was sat across from me on the sofa,

but it wasn't my husband.

Um, and then he just said that he had made a...

"they" had come.

He said "they" had made a decision that I had to die.

And I'm like, "They?"

"Yes, they've made the decision, we've made the decision

"you're gonna have to die."

And then he just, um...

got up from the sofa and just dived on me

and started to choke me.

Fabulous(!)

All I remember was waking up in Amersham Jail.

And I asked the cop why I was there.

"Excuse me," I said, "Why am I here?"

And he says, "You want me to read your charge?"

So he read, "John Michael Osbourne, arrested for

"attempted murder of his... of Sharon Osbourne."

I'm like, "Is this a joke?"

He says, "I'm not joking.

"You're going to court in a minute."

That hit me like a... like a fucking hammer between the eyes.

It was like, I was like...

I remember getting this, this dull feeling in my heart,

which is like... And I thought, I thought...

I didn't know whether she was in hospital

or what I had done, you know.

Oh, I know where we are. That's where we used to rehearse.

That's where we used to rehearse, there.

That's the pub I used to go to, right over there.

Just down there is Whitton Road.

I used to walk all the way up here to get off at Lucas car factory

to go to work for my... with my mum.

Fucking hell.

We're just coming up to Lodge Road now.

Fucking hell, man. It's so small, it's unbelievable.

I can't believe how small it is.

Fucking... Jesus Christ.

When I was a kid, it used to be like the longest road in the world, you know.

'When you're a young kid and you get successful like I did,

'you get very arrogant and your ego runs the world.

'You think it's you, you know. You forget your upbringing.'

It took me till now to kind of realize that, you know.

Wow.

Wow.

Oh, this is...

Wow, this is unbelievable.

It's amazing.

Wow.

That was Mrs Clarke's shop I broke into.

That was my rear bedroom up there.

As my sisters, as my family,

my sisters would get older and get married,

you were allowed to go in the back room and have it to yourself.

And this is right here, I lived in here for a while and,

this is unbelievable.

I hated school.

I fucking hated it.

'I had dreadful, dreadfully bad, uh, dyslexia.

'When I was at school, nobody knew what it was about, you know.

'Somebody would go, "Look, one plus one equals two."

'You look at him and you go, "Well, what the fuck does one mean?"'

I couldn't retain any information. My attention deficit was so bad.

It still is.

I go rambling on, you know, it's like I don't know what

I'm talking about half the time, I just talk.

'I was very low on self-esteem.'

I used to get picked on by bullies.

But I just... it just pushed me further inside myself.

-Where you came from...

-Yeah.

-..did everyone drink?

Coming from the background that I come from I thought

that was, um, what you do.

You get successful, you get married, you have kids

and you get to go to the pub.

And I used to think everybody, as they get older, gets fucking pissed.

The first time I got drunk I was about 14.

I, I, I didn't stop. I drank it and I got the feeling

and I drunk until I pissed my pants in this fucking pub.

And that's where, from the first drink, I wanted...

I didn't drink for a drink, I drank for the effect.

How many rehabs?

I've been in a bunch.

Between detoxes and rehab this will be about ten or 12.

Ozzy tried to get sober, I would say between 40 to 50 times.

But he had been in and out of rehabs about,

I can think of ten different rehabs he went to over the period of time.

Well, see I used to go 90 days, I'd go, "Fuck this, it's crap,"

and go out and get stocked up again.

One minute he'd be sitting here sober,

the next minute you would see him be fucked up, you know.

He'd disappear somewhere or he would go to the fridge

and get a beer or he'd go for a walk up the drive to the pub.

I just knew... I just knew the cycle.

It would be like, my dad would to treatment,

he'd stay sober for maybe 60 days tops and then he'd start

messing around with pills and then he would do that for a while.

And then he would just go right to the drink

and it would get really bad. Then he would go back to treatment.

I don't actually believe that he was ever fully sober.

He was just drunk. He was just not a dad.

He was drunk and he was fucked up all the time.

I came home from school every single day to see him

lying on a couch, drooling, with a pill bottle on the floor

or a vodka bottle on the floor.

Or, you know...

opening up the oven to make a cake with my friends

to find that that's where my dad would hide...

hid the bottles of alcohol.

One thing about drugs and alcohol - they make you lie.

You start lying and covering up your tracks and hiding things and fucking...

I used to have to wait for the guy to drop my drugs off

and I'd be, like, running in and out of the fucking house all day long,

thinking that nobody would suspect I was waiting for dope

to be delivered, you know.

When The Osbournes first started,

he was probably at his worst peak of drinking.

I mean, like, pretty much going through the worst times.

..That you pick up the fucking phone and call.

That was the worst thing I'd ever do, I was never off the phone.

Sometimes, you know, he'd be popping pills from numerous different

disgusting doctors that would give him whatever he wanted and...

I don't know, sometimes he'd be on downers,

sometimes he'd be on uppers.

So like, that obviously will make anyone behave a little bit off

and, you know, scary sometimes.

Why do we have three brown fingers?

Three brown?

Oh, because I put brown dye in my hair.

I think it was affecting... Well, it was affecting his speech.

It was affecting the way he walked.

It was affecting the way he stood. It was just everything.

Part of his fame came from how he looked.

People thought it was funny, thought it was cute.

What the fuck is this shit?

This is not allowed. What's happened to it?

How do I get this fucking thing on?

What they thought was funny was kind of sad because

he was actually destroying himself and also destroying the family.

I mean, there is hours and hours of footage of stuff

that just couldn't show.

It just... It was too, too... It was too real.

You know, granted The Osbournes was not scripted, but people don't

want to sit home on MTV and watch alcoholism tear apart a family.

When we first started filming The Osbournes,

it was no secret my dad did drugs, he was an addict,

but he was kind of a functioning addict.

But when my mum was diagnosed with cancer, it very quickly...

He was out of control, out of control.

He never came out of his room that we called the Bunker.

He couldn't stand up straight, he couldn't walk properly,

he couldn't hear, he shook, he stuttered.

I mean, everything that you could imagine.

I mean, he was a zombie.

I was taking drugs too during that time when my mum had cancer.

I was using too.

I got through that experience

by hiding my emotions through using drugs.

I'll go get you a bottle of water.

Just sip on water, Kelly.

I got that interview on the phone.

-On the phone?

-She's holding on.

I had to hang up because I was throwing up.

Let me get, let me get you a bottle of water.

Jack and Kelly started using and doing drugs and alcohol

and whatever at a very early age.

Things started happening in my family.

I mean, it was my son, Jack, who got sober first.

When I got sober, we were sat at a table and he's like,

"Oh, you know, I threw away all my pain medication the other day."

And I was like, "Well, why did you have them in the first place?"

And this whole argument erupted and he, you know,

the one excuse my dad always went to when he was getting

messed up was, "You guys never needed for anything.

"You never, you know, whatever you wanted I gave you."

I said to him, "What the fuck are you always pissed off at me for?

"You've never ever wanted for a fucking thing from the day...

"the moment you took your first breath."

And he went, "Oh yeah? What about a father?"

And that hit me straight between the eyes like

fucking David and Goliath, and he's got that slingshot.

He just knocked me on my arse. I just... "Oh, fucking hell."

I honestly think that the turning point for Ozzy was Jack's sobriety.

Jack learned how to deal with life sober.

And I think it shamed Ozzy that he couldn't do it.

He could never get it.

And that's what was his big turning point in life.

That was the start of the journey of him being sober.

You know, the evidence proves the fact

because he hasn't drunk or abused for over five years now.

I'm clean, I'm sober.

I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't do alcohol anymore.

I haven't done for a long while.

But, uh, I like being sober, I like being straight.

I don't want to smoke tobacco anymore.

He blew us all away. I mean, we didn't...

None of us ever really thought that he'd maintain it

for as long as he has now.

It really seems like he's come through the other side.

When you really, when you really let go it's like somebody takes

that chain off you, you know, and you just go.

And you don't...

When you're involved in it, you don't realize

how much hard work it is to be a fucking alcoholic.

But when you get fed up with you behaving the way you do,

I mean, sometimes I go this is what it's all about,

I want to get fucked up, but I don't.

His face is alive and he stands up straight and he walks tall

and with confidence and he's not ashamed of himself anymore.

He has nothing to hide anymore and he has nothing to lie about anymore,

which makes him...

I think he's really proud of himself.

I think it's the first time he's proud of himself.

Do you like it, being clean?

I like it, yeah.

With a bit of time, you, um,

you start to go, what did I ever think about that was fun?

What was fucking fun about waking up in a police station,

in the back of a fucking police car?

I have a laugh now, I mean naturally.

I mean, if I could...if I could sprinkle this on the fucking world,

it would be a much better place.

I spent 19 years of my life praying that I would wake up one day

and have the father I have today.

And most people can't turn around and say that

that has happened for them and it happened for me.

And I love...

I am so proud of him because I know how hard it is.

It's fucking fantastic.

Our relationship has improved over the last few years since he's been sober.

I'm actually quite amazed at how much...

how fit he is and how more astute he is than he was.

He is changed a lot. He's lost a lot of weight.

He's very health conscious. He works out nearly every day.

Ozzy has grown up.

You know, it took him longer than most people, but he's got there.

He's here.

He works really hard for his sobriety and he deserves it.

'Sobriety has totally changed him as a person.'

You know, he's just got...

He just seems like he's a lot more at ease with himself.

Whereas before it was, he was just kind of all over the place.

But now he'll just sit with his headphones on quietly, just drawing.

It's not art. I do it for therapeutic reasons.

I always find it stops my head of hand grenades going off, you know.

It's, um, it slows my head down.

I've always worried.

Sometimes I worry cos I've got nothing to worry about.

That's how bad it is sometimes.

I don't go to bed at night thinking,

I shouldn't have painted that because people will get pissed off

at me and they ain't going to buy another painting.

It's just something, out of all this chaos

and all this anxiety that I live in and all this fear,

stops everything in its tracks and it's mine.

And so when you ask me a question about it, I have no answer,

because I don't think of it anything more than it's mine.

He really talked for years about wanting to have his driving licence

and never thought he could do it, you know.

Well, he wouldn't have been able to do it

in his drinking days obviously.

But since he become sober, he had talked about it quite a lot

about getting his driving licence.

I'm getting my licence so I don't feel like a fucking terminal prisoner,

meaning that when everybody leaves the house I'm stuck, you know.

Um, I can't go anywhere. I just want...

It's, it's a way of feeling free, you know.

I don't depend on everybody to drive me wherever I want to go.

That's the reason I want a driving licence.

I'm not intoxicated and I don't want people to...

I want a part of my life where I can say, I'm in the car,

driving my car where I want to go and not be sitting there

having an argument with someone over some shit.

I just want to get the freedom of being able to drive

in with my head, you know.

When I first got successful, right, I bought the...

I bought the guns, the fucking knives,

the fucking archery sets, motorcycles.

All the things that I felt that was... I didn't...

I couldn't afford to have when I was younger, when I was younger.

So I got all that out of my system.

Now, I've always really wanted to drive,

but I've been too fucked up to get there.