Episode 2 Class of '92: Out of Their League

CROWD: Come on, Salford. Come on, Salford.

Two years ago,

five of Manchester United's most successful players

bought Salford City...

Hot chocolate's nice.

..one of Britain's smallest football clubs.

Some fans didn't want change.

It's not going to be the same ever again.

Their team of part-timers were outplayed on the pitch.

Oh...!

Hey!

And their leading goal-scorer was too busy off it.

Why the BLEEP did we buy a football club? Why?

So it was out with the old guard...

..and in with two of the league's toughest men.

That, mate, is an embarrassment of a performance.

By the end of the first season...

Please can I have a new oven?

..they'd made over the ground...

CHEERING

SHOUTING

..their star striker found the net...

CHEERING

Easy, weren't it?

CHEERING AND SCREAMING

There is a God!

..and an amazing winning streak won them promotion against all odds.

It's now the class of '92's second year in charge.

Smarten yourself up, or else them girls there won't kiss you.

An amazing FA Cup run turned the team into national heroes.

Oh, what a goal!

We're going to Wembley! Wembley!

But a shock defeat to their archrivals has put dreams of

winning the league in jeopardy.

How could you go from being so dominant in 45 minutes to

a BLEEP car crash?!

Halfway through the season...

Do things right!

..the team have lost it.

As the players crumble under pressure...

I can put up with a lot of shit. Not that.

..their striker's goal drought continues.

I haven't scored since before I was injured. Five months.

And with a wedding to plan...

Bernard's a lucky man, isn't he?

..Salford's managers are in a spin.

This is when you need to be strong managers, cos it's the first real bad spell you've had.

The owners are desperate for another promotion.

But are the class of '92 still out of their league?

Knowing that nine months comes down to one moment,

one decision, one shot...

SHE SCREAMS

Jesus. I know it's really important to you and stuff,

but you should be proud of what you've done so far.

Salford City's joint manager, Bernard Morley,

is marrying his fiancee, Jemma, in just over 12 weeks.

Yesterday, his team suffered their worst defeat all season,

to rivals Darlington.

Till the 70th minute, I never thought that game was ever in doubt.

And we didn't...

Me and Jonno didn't drop our guards.

It's criminal. Conceding four goals at home.

That's why I'm depressed.

Now I have to come here now and pretend I'm in a good mood.

Well, it's Valentine's Day today, so...

You've not even bought me a good present! I bought you something.

You've bought me something from the pound shop. Sundays are our days,

so let's just forget about football for a bit,

just while we're round here.

And let's just concentrate on the wedding.

Hiya! You all right?

Today, they're visiting the venue for their wedding reception.

So, you've got your prawn, you've got bruschetta, goat's cheese,

you've got pate. Ah, goat's cheese.

And then you've got a little bamboo with dumplings in.

What's that? That's a dumpling.

I don't think you'd like that, Bernard. He's really weird, Liz.

It's not here, it's just... You having a bad day?

It's just in general. Just stressed.

We've had a dip in form.

You going to get sacked?

Well, at least you'll be able to enjoy your wedding day -

you won't be stressed about the football!

This is nice, today. We've come to talk about the wedding.

Stop looking at the football.

I just heard a clap, so I thought something might have happened.

Passionate about his football, that one.

COMMENTATOR SHOUTS

Oh, God...

There's also other choices which I'll give you.

Bern, you listening? Sorry? He's watching his football.

I like the bruschetta and the goat's cheese.

Yes, so they'd do for vegetarians. Yeah, really nice.

Bernard...

Oh...!

Right, can we talk about the wedding now, please? Sorry.

Right... Right, so... Right, so, what about speeches?

When are you going to do speeches?

Come on, it's Valentine's Day and this is a beautiful opportunity to

talk about our wedding.

Just forget about yesterday - it's done, you've been beat, tough shit.

Move on. Speeches we can sort out in four weeks.

Right, are you nearly ready? It's time to go.

Salford's co-owner, Phil Neville, and his family,

have been in Spain for eight months

since he took a job as assistant coach at Valencia Football Club.

School run this morning.

Eh? That's my princess.

Right, let's go.

I try and pick the kids up every night.

I try to pick them up every night,

because they have after-school activities.

Isabella dances three nights a week,

Harvey plays football three nights a week,

so me and my wife split up and go with one each.

Daddy, I forgot my PE kit.

Have you got PE today? Yeah.

And you forgot your bag? Yeah.

Oh, brilliant(!)

Phil's brother Gary joined him in Spain two months ago,

taking up the Valencia manager's job.

It's a dream move for both of them.

Can you pick the kids up from school tomorrow or not, is that a problem?

It's my day off tomorrow. First day off in about three weeks.

They're 1,000 miles away,

but their Salford team is never far from their minds.

Normally, say, like, last season,

if we were having tough moments, you'd go down to training and watch

training, go down to training and lend your support because,

ultimately, Jonno and Bernard and the lads will be thinking,

"Oh, I wonder what Phil, Gary, Nicky and Ryan are saying, and Paul."

And, you know, "I wonder if they're not happy with us."

The focus is still on getting promotion this year,

and we're not just going to...

"Oh, we'll get promotion next year."

No - we want promotion this year.

At this moment, will they go up?

You'd have to say it's 70-30 against.

But, last season, to win the league,

we were 80-20 against, when they came in.

So, they've achieved great things,

and nothing would surprise me.

# We love you, Salford, we do

# Oh, Salford, we love you... #

Late February - Salford have lost three of their last six games.

Today, they face league minnows Ilkeston.

It's crucial the team put their recent defeats behind them.

Let's see if we can have a good run. We did it last year -

15 out of 17. Let's go and do 15 out of 15, yeah? Unbeaten.

But, more importantly, let's lose the excuses,

let's get that spirit going again, cos people question what's going on in this changing room.

It starts now. It starts going out there, and every player

understanding what their individual job is.

Welcome to Ilkeston, young lady. Thank you.

Accountant Karen Baird

took over as chairman of the club three years ago.

I'm hoping for a good win today, to get us back on track.

We've had a bit of a poor run lately,

so, fingers crossed for a good win to give them some confidence.

When her son Bernard took over as manager,

Mary Morley became a Salford fan.

We're hoping to get six points off them.

I think we need some team spirit back, if I was being honest.

I think the team spirit's gone a little bit flat.

Salford are playing in white.

Stay with him, Howson. Howson, don't switch off!

18 minutes into the game, Salford's defence give the ball away...

..and Ilkeston seize their chance.

Oh, come on!

The wheels have fell off today, I think.

I've only always got 100% to say about them,

but they've not turned up today. It's painful to watch.

35 minutes in and we've not even had a shot yet.

That's pretty crap, isn't it?

Come on! BLEEP's sake.

I think the performance at Ilkeston was a watershed moment.

They were playing a team of kids, really,

and, bearing in mind our budget,

the level of players we've brought in,

we should have won the game easily.

But we didn't.

WHISTLE

CHEERING

Salford lose, 2-1.

They're now nine points behind the league leaders,

and only the top of the table team wins automatic promotion.

Not a good day. Not a good day.

I can't remember the last time we played that badly,

but Ilkeston deserved it -

they played far better than us.

So, Ben and Jonno need to sort it out, don't they?

That's what they're there to do.

I'm absolutely gutted. I could cry.

I think this is...

..this is going to make us struggle, now.

We're just going to have to

rely on other teams, now, slipping up as well.

Is it because we don't know what we're doing,

or is it cos we can't be BLEEP bothered doing it?

Did you hear what I said to you when you were going up? No. Why?

I said, "What?" And then Richie said...

What? BLEEP Richie!

That sums this changing room up.

Yeah, we're not bothered!

Yeah, we don't care!

Josh...you've got your boots on your wrong feet.

It's that or you're not interested.

Danny's even screaming and shouting at people!

What the BLEEP is going on?!

I'll pull a BLEEP off, after this.

My balls were massive, by the way.

I've got big bollocks.

But don't think I'm going to BLEEP embarrass my BLEEP half-decent name

I've earned in football cos of you BLEEP. All right?

OK, guys. So, if you can just explain to me what exactly

is the challenge at the moment that you're facing?

Salford's biggest problem is a lack of goals.

Last year, they relied on star striker Gareth Seddon

to keep scoring. This year he's barely played,

let alone found the net.

I'm meeting what's known as, like, a mind coach.

I'm hoping that he's going to, kind of, clear a few things,

and just get me a little bit more focused, really.

All my career, really, I've been, like, the go-to guy.

I've always managed to, you know, deliver.

Whereas, this season, I feel like

everything's just kind of gone wrong.

I'm hoping, you know, I kind of get back to the old Gaz -

the hero's going to come on and score the winning goal,

or be a part of the team,

and at the minute I don't feel that.

If you can just close your eyes.

So, when you think about the challenges

that you're facing at the moment,

what pops into your mind, straightaway?

Panic. What do you see, visually?

Me sat on the bench.

OK. So, what you're going to do now is

you're going to step out of that body,

and start walking backwards, away from the bench,

so you can see yourself moving away from yourself.

And, then, next to you, you notice a football on the floor.

Inside this football represents those negative emotions

that you've got.

And you're going to start doing little kick-ups with it

and you're thinking, "I'm going to absolutely volley this,"

and you can see the sun up in the sky.

You're thinking, "As this comes down, I'm going to hit it

"right on the sweet spot, and it's going to fly off,

"hit the sun right in the middle."

And as it hits that sun you're going to celebrate for real,

like you've just scored the best goal of your life.

Are you ready?

Yeah. Yeah? OK.

You can feel the energy building in your body.

Your foot goes back as the ball's coming down.

You hit that sweet spot. It's flying off...

YES...!

Come on, celebrate like you mean it!

Celebrate like you mean it, Gaz. Let me hear it...

YEAH, I DID IT!

Yes!

Are you ready? Yeah.

Tell me you're ready. I'm ready.

Let me hear you shout. What noise would you make if you were ready for

absolute energy, absolute performance?

What noise would you make, Gaz? Come on!

Fucking ready!

Yes, come on. And again, three, two, one...

I'm ready! Three, two, one...

I'M READY!

There we go. Good, good.

Well done. You finished on a high.

Thank you very much. Cheers. All right. No problem.

I feel better. I feel a little bit more relieved.

I feel like I can, you know,

concentrate on the good instead of the bad, and

you know, I'm going to have to put these into practice,

now, leading up to the games.

Throughout March, Salford battle to keep their hopes

of winning the league alive.

Do things right!

To stand any chance of automatic promotion,

they can't afford to lose any more games.

Fuck off, John. Do things...

fucking immediately!

Or fuck off.

But when they face rivals Darlington a second time, they're beaten 3-2.

You don't listen to me, you don't listen to him,

so what is the fucking point?

And, two weeks later, when they play mid-table Skelmersdale,

they're hammered 3-1.

Too fucking easy

to be broke down at the minute, us.

Salford's hopes of coming top of the league are all but over.

Bernard and Jonno won't be none too pleased with this result.

BLEEP!

Need a bit of, erm, inspiration from the bench.

Do you know when we'll fucking start to reach our potential?

When people take responsibility.

Now Salford's only chance of promotion is to make the play-offs.

Fuck off. Fuck off.

That means staying up in the top five in the league.

They're getting their arse kicked, by the looks of it, now.

If they succeed, they'll play two knockout matches

at the end of the season.

To get promoted, they'll have to win both games.

To get promoted, they'll have to win both games.

What the fuck are you doing?

Right, I can put up with a lot of shit, not that -

that is fucking under-5s' shit.

We can't put the ball in the net.

They've changed their focus from winning individual games to looking

at the bigger prize, and when you're set on the FA Cup you don't look at the FA Cup final,

you look at each game as its own cup final, and that's what we've got to get back to doing in the league.

29-year-old factory worker and defender Steve Howson

was part of the squad that won Salford promotion last year.

Unfortunately, I think winning the league

is possibly out of touch, out of sight.

So we've got to really, you know,

concentrate on getting a good run together

and getting in the play-offs. We've got a hell of a lot to do.

It's going to be tough - there's some good sides in there.

They don't want us to get in the play-offs, so everyone...

everyone wants us to fail.

If I don't go to football, I actually look...

I follow it on Twitter, and I think,

"Oh, crap - they're losing.

"That's my night ruined."

I'm either going to stay out, or I'll go home and just be like...

sit quietly and let him watch whatever he wants on TV

and don't speak to him.

I base my life around football.

But, as you get towards the end of the season,

when you've got something to play for...

You should always have something to play for. Yeah,

but when you get... Cos then you wouldn't have to panic

at the end of the season. All right.

As Salford struggle in the league, Gary Neville's other team, Valencia,

is also in trouble.

His first four months as their new manager haven't gone well.

This club has had 15 managers in 13 years.

It's...it's known for being the toughest club.

The people, the passion of the fans, is either here...

or way down there.

And it's just known for being a hostile environment to manage.

A 7-0 defeat to Barcelona has marked a low point in the season.

TRANSLATION:

I've never seen fans, football fans, as angry, as...

Yeah, angry is the right word - as that.

You know, in England, we think we have passionate football fans,

and we do...but I've never seen fans like that at the end of a game.

We got back from Barcelona after being beat 7-0 -

the fans were waiting at the airport, the fans were waiting

at the training ground, they were all...

They wanted the manager out, they wanted Gary to be sacked.

They were having a go at the players.

We couldn't get our cars out of the training ground.

It's worse when it's your brother that they're asking to be sacked.

I don't want to go home - I love it out here.

I like the challenge of working with players in this country,

and I'm looking forward to the last couple of months of the season,

even though every game feels like a major battle and fight,

and you're not sure what's going to happen next.

It's Thursday night - Bernard's out training.

CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS WOMEN SCREAM

Jemma's got the girls over to plan her hen-do.

When she met Bernard, she were obsessed with him, weren't she?

I don't know. And he weren't really that interested.

He just used to, like, snog her and stuff, and then... And she'd

be like, "Bernard, Bernard...!"

LAUGHTER

I remember her saying she'd met this guy called Bernard,

and I'm like, "Bernard? How old is he?!"

LAUGHTER

"He's only...he's only young, he's only two year..."

I think he's two year older, isn't he? Yeah. "Two year older than me."

I'm like, "Oh, right - just sounds dead old!"

How are you feeling about your hen-do? Do you know what?

I don't know, as long as they don't pin me on the floor,

like an experience I've had before,

I'll kick off. I know. What about a fat roly-poly stripper?

Would you like one of them?

I want someone decent, but not to hump me from behind.

You know, when they thrust you from behind, and...? When they what, Jem?

Thrust you! I've...I've...I hate it.

We've got the wedding coming up.

Will it ruin my day? I don't know.

I just hope, for me, they might be able to switch off,

but no matter how many times I say,

"Oh, I'm dead proud of you, bla-de-bla-de-blah",

it don't matter - they still want to be promoted.

I'd love if they won promotion - love, love, love.

And it would be the icing on the cake for the wedding -

it would just make the wedding even better.

So, yeah. So, fingers crossed it all goes to plan!

We're just going to meet the managers.

We've had a few bad results,

but you're not going to go all season without losing, so,

we're going to lose some now and then. But...

there's always play-offs.

SHE LAUGHS

Yeah - go down to the wire.

This is when it's testing, isn't it?

This is when you need to be strong managers, cos it's the first real bad spell you've had.

And I think the Darlington loss probably hit everyone harder than we

think. It hit us a lot harder, and I'm sure it hit the players harder.

It's probably lack of confidence as well.

There's a lot wrong, isn't there, if we're being honest?

Now we're out of the FA Cup, and the shit's hit the fan a little bit,

one or two dodgy results, the lads have gone, "Don't fancy working any more."

That's what it is, Karen. But you just nee... We need to get it back with them, though, don't we?

We don't have to win the league, we just need to get in the play-offs.

The mentality at the minute isn't what it should be.

To be fair...we've had a great season, up to now.

We now just need to plan what's the best way,

now, to get in the play-offs. That's what we need to do.

This isn't us putting blame on anybody - that's our team that we're picking,

that we put in the changing room. It's on me and him, nobody else.

But...what's changed in three or four weeks?

Cos we haven't.

Nobody knows what's going wrong - it's just gone wrong.

There's summat creeped in, there's summat creeped in...

So... And the reason everything changed last season

was because you made a big change. Yeah. That change was us.

Yeah - I'm not looking to do that again.

And then we made a change by getting rid of 12 players.

What I'm saying is there was knock-on effects with stuff.

Get your players back Tuesday, and...

..we could be having a totally different conversation in a week.

Mid-March.

With the end of the season just six weeks away,

Jonno and Bernard make a bold move.

They decide to take a new, softer approach.

You know what it was like when we first come here, how me and Bernard were, and you all bought into what

we were about. But the last few weeks, it seems to have disappeared. But let's have it right -

from this minute, now, to the end of the season, we approach it exactly the same as we did last year.

We're relentless, we take one game at a time,

and anything that's in front of us, we knock it down.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

ALL: Yeah. Good lads. Let's go. Come on, boys. Come on, boys.

Howson, come on!

It's a last-ditch attempt to get the team back on top form.

Let's go! No fear, no fear...

Hold it there, cross the leg over.

There you go!

Losing side does a forfeit -

got to get their arses out.

Everyone belts a ball at it.

PLAYERS LAUGH AND YELP

Shithouses!

So, have they actually had you in and spoke to you about next season?

No. I'm having a bit of a nightmare at the minute, cos I thought that when I...

..came back from injury, I'd be playing every single week.

But then we got dropped.

It's...oh, it's really... pissing me off, really.

I'm not enjoying football at the minute.

I do worry about you, because...

you don't say stuff, you don't talk, do you?

Even if something were worrying you, things weren't going right,

you don't come and talk.

I'm the man of the family, aren't I?

I'm... I can't come to you with my problems.

I can't come to Melissa with my problems, because I'm...

I'm supposed to be the one who you guys...

come to. Well, no, because I'm...

And that's kind of... ..I'm your mum!

Yeah, but I'm 35-year-old. And that's life, innit?

If you need anything, just come here.

I know.

I know - there's always a bed in't attic, in't there, for me?

He might be obsessed with promotion,

but Bernard's wedding is approaching fast.

Hello! You all right? Hello, Bernard.

Helena. How are you? All right? Not bad.

So he's decided to take a break from football

to plan a surprise for his bride.

My first dance is summat I don't want to do, it's...

I'm not that type of person, but obviously I know I have to do it.

But I think it would be good if it was interrupted by summat I'd worked

on, in terms of dancing, with the four lads.

Oh, cool. So, my plan, if you can work it,

is obviously to pick the first dance - obviously, Jemma will do that,

make the effort to, obviously, dance with her for at least...

maybe half a song...

Yeah. ..and then obviously...

..it stopping and coming to a five-man dance where... Yeah. ..she doesn't know anything about it.

Cool - that sounds good.

But the only thing is that, you know, I'm not...

Well, I can't dance.

I'll do everything I can.

Yeah.

And then we'll see what happens.

Two days later, Bernard and his best mates arrive

for their first secret dance class.

Helena. Nice to meet you.

Sean. Hey, Helena, all right?

Bernard. Jonno.

Jonno. Sharpy.

Sharpy. Mark - hiya.

Mark.

You all right, guys? Yeah.

Are you ready? Ready.

So, the songs we're going to do is, The Way You Make Me Feel,

Crazy In Love, Everybody...

REM, is that the REM?

REM? You don't dance to REM!

The first song is...

Michael Jackson.

We'll just try it with the music and I'll just shout out your counts,

and point who goes where.

MUSIC: The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson

And click, click...

Into place, into your line.

Five, six, seven, eight...

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight...

Nod, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight...

It were quite difficult, today, to be honest with you.

Erm, obviously, it's easy for Helena to...

cos, obviously, she knows - she's a professional dancer, but...

I think we worked hard and we put the effort in,

and just hopefully it'll all come together.

(Christ!)

Swap places!

Oh, shit!

It's one of them things - if you're going to interrupt a wedding with a dance, it's got to be right.

Cos if it goes tits up...

we're going to be a laughing stock, aren't we?

I think they've got a little bit of talent.

But the passion's there.

And I want to get it in their bodies,

so that when they've had a few pints...

that they don't, like, go, "What is it?"

With just nine matches till the end of the season,

Salford can't afford to lose any games if they're to stay

in the league's top five.

The managers are continuing with their softly-softly approach.

Go back to basics, work hard, enjoy it.

If we lose...yeah, we lose.

But let's not have excuses for why we lose.

Let's come in the changing room, say, "Listen, boys -

"Gaz, you've run through a brick wall for us today,

"can't fucking pick fault in anyone's performance,

"we got beat by the better side".

Nine games to go - we do things right.

Danny!

Salford are playing in white.

We've hit the post twice.

We've had a goal disallowed for offside.

We need to score a goal now.

Get away, get away!

Go on, Richie!

CHEERING

Everybody stick to what we've got to do, yeah? Eight to go, yeah?

Well done, boys.

The end of March is busy with games, and the team rise to the challenge.

The managers' new approach might just pay off.

Well done. Howson, good lad. Proper leader there, at the end.

But five matches still lie between Salford and the play-offs.

The pitch will suit us, by the way.

Get it smashed into them, look after your touch.

We've got a lot on our tail.

So we need to get more points,

obviously, so we can guarantee ourselves a play-off spot.

Come on, Pooley!

SHE SCREAMS

Come on, lads, come on! Come on, John.

CHEERING

We're happy.

RADIO: 'BBC 5 Live.

'In the past few minutes, Valencia have sacked Gary Neville

'as their first team coach.

'He really struggled in his first managerial job,

'just three league games he won in three months in charge.

'He's just released a statement, Gary Neville.

'He says, "I would like to thank Valencia football club,

'"the fans, staff..."'

Oh, my God - been well busy.

Cheers, babes. It's all right.

Ooh, he's been sacked hasn't he?

I know, yeah.

I suppose...I think he went in too deep, didn't he?

Going to such a big club.

I like the fact that he did it.

I like the fact that he challenged himself.

He could have quite easily gone to Man United

or gone to an English club,

but he hasn't - he's gone abroad.

He's got himself out of his comfort zone,

and that's what you need to do, isn't it, to be a better person?

And he was going into an already failing team.

What's it say in the papers?

It says here, it says "Neville left Valencia as the worst British manager in LA..."

La Liga... "..in La Liga history."

Good football knowledge there, Gaz!

LA history? What was I thinking of, there?

Even I knew it was La Liga!

Yeah. I need to get back to work.

Right, OK. Cheers for the coffee.

That's my dream move to Valencia over.

Brilliant!

Are you nervous? Nervous about the morning,

getting ready and all that stuff. Oh, no - that's funny, that.

Jemma's planned her wedding

for two weeks after the football season ends.

With six weeks to go, she's getting her hair ready for the big day.

I would have liked him in a kilt, but he won't.

Oh, that would've been fab, wouldn't it?

I know. He's got lovely legs, as well.

Because he doesn't like being the centre of attention?

He said it's bad enough his name's Bernard.

So...he won't wear a kilt.

Right.

Bern proposed on the Valentine's Day of 2010.

We planned to get married in 2012, so it was two years after,

and then Halle came along,

so I wasn't mentally ready for it, to get married.

So I kind of, like, postponed it.

It wasn't that I wasn't happy with myself - I was just in a bad place, after I had Halle.

I just went into a really bad place, and I had really bad anxiety.

I used to get really panicky, thinking, "Where are my kids?"

I was on... I had counselling, I had medication for two years.

It was awful, awful.

I can't even remember how...

I can't remember how I fed my kids.

I can't remember that. It's just a total...total blur.

You're not... You can't do that.

I just never really spoke about it. You've not, have you?

Don't, you'll have me starting.

It's done now, anyway. That's gone, that part of your life.

Sorry.

You didn't expect it to come, did you?

I could have either have just carried on the way I was,

just been fat and ate crap, or...

and look back at pictures and think, "Why didn't I do anything about it?"

So I thought, "I need to do something about it."

So I went running.

I'm healthy, happy.

Four years after I called the first one off, we're getting married.

Three weeks. Three weeks on Saturday.

Gary Neville is back in Salford.

There's not a lot I can do about it, is there, really? Erm...

I would have preferred to stay at Valencia till the end of the season.

That's what the plan was, but the reality of it is I'm not.

I'm back here. People say, "Are you happy to be back?"

I don't think you can say you're happy to be back,

but what I can say is that now I'm back, I'm happy here.

Gary's meeting up with co-owner Paul Scholes and club chairman Karen

to discuss which players to keep on for next season.

Richie, we've got a one-year option, so we'll take that on him.

Poole, we're going to try our best to keep.

We've got Jordan anyway, and Josh Hine next season.

Seddon leaving, I take it?

Yeah. Is he?

Why would we keep him?

Who's... When are we telling him that?

Does he know? After the end of the season.

His contract is up, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

Has he asked yet, to the managers, whether they want him...?

No-one's been told yet.

Will he be expecting to stay, Gareth?

No, I wouldn't have thought so.

I can't imagine... Not even played. ..on what grounds. Not played him.

They've not played him. No. Oh.

I think they need to tell him in the right way and...

take him out for a meal and stuff. Oh, shut up!

He's been paid a lot of money to do fuck all, all season.

He's had his bit.

I think Gaz likes Gareth. Yeah, I know. Who does?

Everyone knows it - he's his love child.

No, I like all the players... His love child!

I like all the players who've served us well in our first two years.

I don't understand why we're discussing him. I think he's gone,

and if you want to take him out for a meal that's fine.

OK, I'll take him out for a meal. Well done. Pay for his beer...

Scholesy, are you coming? No.

Very good.

We've got, like, five games left, I think.

I'm just going to work my nuts off and then...

..I just need to, like...

come on and get the winning goal in the final or something like that.

Something's going to happen.

I'm going to make sure that it does.

I just don't want to fizzle out.

No, you want to go out on a high.

After the year I had last season,

being the hero and everybody kind of basically loving me, to this year...

No-one...I don't even know if anyone remembers me round the club.

They think I'm like an ambassador, just walking round.

You're still my hero. I still love you!

I really want him to do well, cos I want him to finish on a high.

It could be his last season of football, and even if it's not,

the he still wants to do well at Salford, if he's leaving.

He will turn it round, cos he's so determined,

works hard at everything that he does and that's all he's done,

is work really hard.

And, hopefully, they'll see that and give him a chance.

How many have we got to play, six? Five. Five to go.

It's Saturday, early April.

The end of the season's in sight.

Another month and on Saturdays,

Tuesdays, Thursdays, it won't be football, it'll be drinking.

We get fat over the summer, me and Jonno.

Why do you have to drag me in on that? Cos you're fat!

Jonno, what are you going to do after the season then?

I'll show you what I'm going to do,

I'm going to go in all karaoke bars in Blackpool and sing this.

That's what I'm going to do.

Woo!

Tell me this isn't a fucking tune, Mikey baby!

MUSIC: Real Gone Kid by Deacon Blue

Salford have just five games left to earn a place in the play-offs.

Gareth Seddon is doing his best to get back to full fitness.

But he stays firmly on the bench.

If sides win their games we can still fall out if we don't take our points.

So if we haven't got energy today, and you think it's done, we will fall out the play-offs.

As long as we take some points from there, it's two games after this -

we should be in the top five.

If we win, we put these to bed.

So, go out, enjoy yourself.

Let's go and win the game.

The goals keep coming for Salford.

Good season. Going for a big fucking week now, don't we?

And a final win against Stourbridge seals the deal.

They end third in the league.

Salford's season all rests on two final knockout games.

Listen, the next time we're together is Tuesday night.

Nobody's out tonight. No-one's fucking going out and having beers or fuck all. All onto Tuesday.

Yeah? This is it. This is our week. Yeah?

Well done, boys. Well done.

The players, the manager,

the staff have done an absolutely fantastic job. To get to the second

round of the FA Cup and into the play-offs,

I'd have snapped your hand off at the start of the season.

I think that to have an opportunity to think that we've got two games

to have two successive promotions is a wonderful position to be in.

And I would always fancy us in one-off games.

The managers have had three successive promotions.

They'll be believing that they can do it.

MUSIC: Jump Around by House Of Pain

Now, are you ready?

So, it goes...

One, two, three, four...

The play-offs are in two days' time.

..six, seven, eight...

One, two and three, four,

five, six, seven and again.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Going to have to cancel this.

Was it the turn? Yeah, the turn.

Going to have to cancel.

I can't dance!

Tuesday, 26th of April.

Salford face Ashton United in the first of their two crunch games.

Freezing.

I landed, get off the plane today.

He's scratched his car.

I couldn't believe how cold it was. It'd snowed!

Phil Neville has flown in from Spain to watch.

Co-owner Paul Scholes is giving him a lift to the match.

Everyone's coming tonight. First time ever.

Should win. Should win, shouldn't we? Beat them 3-0,

what was it, two or three weeks ago?

I think we're going into it in a good run of form.

I'm quite excited.

You can't park like that. We've got to park that way.

No, you can't park like that.

Why? He's never been good at looking over his shoulder,

do you know what I mean? He never had good vision...

His pride and joy!

Boys, we talked about not getting complacent all season,

so I'm not going to change my team talk because

it's the semifinal of the play-offs.

It's just another game, except there's a lot more at stake today.

And if you boys turn up and do what you do,

I ain't got no problem with yous winning. It's as simple as that.

Come on, boys! Come on, boys!

Hopefully, we can either be 1-1 and they need me to come on and score,

or it's...we're 2, 3-0 up and then I can come on.

Either way, I just want to come on, cos it's a massive week for us.

It's a massive week for me.

It's the last week of my career.

The last week of my life!

You got your Salford shirt on? Yeah. Hey, smarten yourself up.

I will. Or else them girls over there won't come and kiss you.

Don't worry. What do you mean? I'm not worried!

Winner takes all. So...

..we've started nervous. Understandably.

CROWD: Salford!

This is going to be tough. To get through this tonight,

I think it will be a major fight. You can see it already.

Salford are in red.

From the start, Ashton have them on the run.

Stupid!

But 25 minutes in, Salford break down the right wing.

Go on!

Go on...

Yes!

I don't feel comfortable. I don't know why.

We're 1-0 up, but it's a scrappy game.

In the second half, Ashton United strike back...

..to equalise in the 69th minute.

Long night, lads.

It's 1-1 after 90 tough minutes, but there has to be a winner.

The teams and fans face 30 minutes more.

Listen to me, here. We've been here and played extra time before.

We'll get chances, here.

We'll get chances, but you've got to stay switched on.

All right? Do the right things.

Touch, deliver. Come on, boys, eh?

Come on!

With the game in the balance, the managers play Gareth Seddon.

He's taking Seddon on.

You ready? Sed, stay central, mate, yeah?

You stay central - get them to run after you, yeah?

Seconds after coming on,

Seddon gets his first touch of the ball and shoots.

CHEERING

Get in!

Seddon,

the hero.

The cheese selling, modelling hero.

CHEERING

Salford secure the win.

Look on the pitch! Bernard's on the pitch.

Bernard and John are on the pitch.

There's only one game left between them and promotion.

Tap in. Told you!

Can't believe people are surprised.

MUSIC: The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson

The climax of the season is in four days' time.

As the players rest,

Bernard's dance troupe fit in all the practice they can.

We have to win promotion now.

We've got the bug. We've got the bug of going up.

We can see the Football League getting closer to us.

We know that we want to go up,

and that would be an unbelievable two years.

You'd say, second round of the FA Cup, two promotions.

We'd take that.

Yeah, we need to do that one again, that one.

Piss it - we pissed it, mate.

Starting off from the beginning again - one more. One more!

It's the night before the big match.

Defender Steve Howson's grandparents plan to be at the game...

Have you had many yellow cards, this...?

I've been a good lad. I've only had four, I think.

..and so does most of Salford.

Yeah, extra security in for this one.

Grandad's part of the riot squad.

The pressure's on now. The biggest critique.

As long as it's not raining.

But if we can go inside there's no worry, is there?

You can sit here and...

have something to drink.

In fact, no, that would be embarrassing when you're drunk.

GRANDAD LAUGHS

How dare you!

Saturday, 30th of April.

Salford's season comes down to this.

The play-off finals against tough opponents Workington FC.

Jonno and Bernard are about to find out if they can win promotion

for Salford two years in a row.

You nervous? You buzzing?

Got absolutely steaming last night.

A couple of Valium, I feel brand-new.

I'm obviously nervous, but... Bet you can't do that.

The plus side of things, the excitement,

is outweighing the nerves at the minute.

Bet you can't do that.

Football matters to me more than anything in the world.

I would give up football for my family...

if someone had a gun to their heads.

That's the only time.

I would. I don't mean...

My family is everything.

That's why I do things, for my family, to provide a decent life.

I go to work in the morning,

early doors, to provide for my wife and kids.

But I don't like work - I hate work.

But I love this. I love football.

It's the only thing I've ever been,

that's given me something to be proud of

for my personal achievement.

I've never done nothing. And it sounds awful, what I'm saying.

I'd be at home with my family

but I wouldn't know any different that's what I'd do.

I'd invest my time into that. As soon as today's finished, that's it.

I've got three months with my wife and kids, everything into them.

Right, Jem, come on. I'm going.

Good luck and stay calm.

Always calm.

Yes!

Yes!

What a score! What a score! What a, what a, what a score!

It's just hours away from kick-off at Moor Lane.

Nine months work comes down to one game.

So what's nice is the managers and players want it as much as me and

it's nice that it means so much to everyone.

Play-off final day, isn't it?

Biggest game in the season.

Biggest game in Salford's history, I suppose.

And...as such,

I'm absolutely shaking.

What a way to end the season. What a way to end it.

And, if we win, oh, my God.

It'll just be...heaven.

This is why God invented football, for days like this.

Knowing that nine months comes down to one moment,

one decision, one shot...

it's...

It is the biggest day.

You could argue it's the biggest day that Salford City have ever had.

I'm nervous, I'm not going to lie to you. But so we should be.

It's what dreams are made of. You said it before, on the way here.

It's what we fucking aim for all season.

Don't leave anything here. Go and blast.

Let's go out with a bang, all of us.

We've been through war, haven't we?

Been through the trenches together, boys, and we're here.

All them doubters, people that say it don't work - joint managing.

Everything all comes collectively for today.

We go down 1-0, don't worry about it.

How many times have we come back from 1-0 season?

Yeah? Come on. Enjoy it.

On a personal level, I'm a proud man for today.

No matter what happens, I'm a proud man.

There'll be no coming in at the end of the game, dressing things down

and analysing things, cos that's it - it's done.

So this is my point, I say, listen -

thanks for the best season I've ever had in football.

Don't start crying.

Now, I know it's an emotional speech,

cos I'm on the way, here. I'm serious -

the best year I've ever had in football. Come on, boys!

CROWD: Go on, Salford!

Salford get off to a shaky start...

Oh, God...

..as their nerves begin to show.

Just four minutes in, Workington score.

A rubbish start.

Shit. We're shit at corners. We can't defend corners.

But Salford come back at them.

And in the 13th minute...

CHEERING

..Steve O'Halloran's goal makes it 1-1.

Come on, Salford. Come on, Salford.

Come on, Salford.

You talk more than me, you.

Ste O'Halloran scored...

a corner.

Jemma is hoping for a win more than anyone.

It would be a perfect end to the season

and the perfect start for the wedding.

I just wish we was winning.

But Workington are refusing to roll over

and Salford can't find their rhythm.

It's a bit shaky.

They're missing something in midfield.

Come on!

Workington attack again and again.

Get it OUT!

Oh, for fuck's sake...

And in the 20th minute, it pays off...

2-1.

It's too easy, that.

Unlucky, unlucky. Right idea.

Wish we were winning. I wish it was us who was 2-1 up.

But it's like so much has happened in the first half.

It's mental.

And it's like we've not got nothing in us.

We're just playing shit.

Come on, Salford. Go, go in that dressing room, get a slap.

Get your head together. Sort it out.

They've worked so hard all season and they're throwing it away.

Literally giving it to them, aren't they?

I'm just fuming. Fuming.

They've worked so hard, they don't deserve this loss, so...

At half-time, Workington lead 2-1.

This is going to be the last fucking bollocking I give you, like he said.

Cos at the end of the game, it's irrelevant. It is irrelevant.

The preparation, the information, the way we've done things,

talking about how to beat a side and what to do,

you've just done the total opposite.

Listen to us, we do not do our homework for fuck all.

Got to think up here, boys.

You've got to want to win.

You've got to want to win!

I want a score.

I'm stomping up and down that sideline thinking,

"Why, in the final, do we roll over? Why?"

Go out with a fight. Wake up. Come on, boys.

You look caught in the fucking headlights, boys, some of you.

It's a final. They're not going to turn up and lie down for you, boys.

They don't do that. Sides don't do that at this level of football.

They get a third goal, it's fucking Goodnight, Sweetheart, then.

Look, we've come in fucking 2-1 down. We can put things right.

Don't go to pieces.

The next goal's massive.

They think they'll win it if they get the next goal.

We continue to do the right things, or at least try. All right?

Come on. Come on, boys. Come on.

Not great.

It's 2-1 and we're not... It's not happening, to be honest with you.

There's a long way to go, 30 minutes or so, but...

a bit of a worry at the moment.

In the second half, Workington dig in defensively

to protect their lead.

See, we're playing too deep.

Nothing ever goes my way.

What time...?

Time, yeah, about 20 minutes? 25 minutes?

My life's over.

Oh!

We need a goal. We need a goal.

With time running out, Salford pile on the pressure.

But they can't find the Workington net.

Offside.

ANNOUNCER: Salford City replacing number 10, Danny Webber,

with number 17, Gareth Seddon.

What a save!

How long's that? It's a game of bloody football.

Yeah, and it's not, it's part of... It's not finished yet.

And my husband's career. It's not finished, Jemma. Shut up!

SHE SCREAMS

CHEERING

With just 11 minutes to go,

Salford's Billy Priestley heads it in.

It's 2-2.

Come back twice now, so...

It's ours for the taking now, isn't it?

Come on!

We're wasting them.

There's just ten minutes left to play.

Stop it, Jem, you're getting me going.

I can't cope.

CHEERING

In the 89th minute, Jordan Hume scores.

Salford 3, Workington 2.

Get in!

Dad! Dad! DAD!

You're getting me going!

Well done, mate. Three minutes.

Now all Salford have to do is hang on.

Oh, God, I can't cope.

They scored in the last 90th minute last time.

Got to be it.

WHISTLE

CHEERING

Amazing. Absolutely unbelievable.

Couldn't ask for any more.

Brilliant!

He's got it!

I'm so proud of you!

2-1 down, 3-2 winner.

I'm so proud of you.

We are going up, said we going up!

Tremendous.

All worthwhile now, last few years.

We got it!

Can't even put into words how it feels.

I'm on a different planet at the minute, I really am.

I'm not a crier, but I feel like I could cry.

Well, I should have a good day now. Stag do. Wedding.

Good stag do. It just makes the wedding... Everything, everybody's buzzing so we'll just take that into

the next couple of weeks now and, hopefully, the wedding will be as good what it's been today

which I've no doubt it will be.

MUSIC: I Swear by All-4-One

# I see the questions in your eyes

# I know what's weighing on your mind

# You can be sure I know my part

# Cos I'll stand beside you through the years

# You'll only cry those happy tears

# And though I make mistakes

# I'll never break your heart... #

SIREN WAILS

CHEERING

MUSIC: The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson

# Hey, pretty baby., with the high heels on

# You give me fever Like I've never ever known

# You're just a product of loveliness

# I like the groove of your walk Your talk, your dress... #

MUSIC: Jump Around by House Of Pain

They're better managers than dancers, to be fair!

We always call Bernard stiff-arse

cos he's just not got any rhythm.

But that has just ended a perfect day.

What's happened this year is what dreams are made of -

win promotion, unbelievable FA Cup run and then, you know,

marrying my wife who I idolise, so...

over the moon with everything.

MUSIC: Shiny Happy People by REM

# Shiny happy people laughing

# Meet me in the crowd

# People, people

# Throw your love around

# Love me, love me

# Take it into town

# Happy... #

I have developed a technique to help me deal with annoying idiots.

Lee, do you want to kick this one off?

LAUGHTER

I have trained my cat to wink.

We never let the truth get in the way of a good story.