Nadolig


Nadolig

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Transcript


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-# The old wheels are turning

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-# The guitar case is locked

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-Happy days!

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-# From foreign lands I will flee

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-# Back, back, back

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-# Back, back, back

-

-# All the way back to you

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-# Back, back, back

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-# The rock pulls

-at the valley and lake

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-# And I'm at the waters

-of my Babylon

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-# The longing for the blue slate

-lives on inside me

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-# The land of the white Astra

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-# Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah

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-# Bah #

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-"Trefor? Trefor?

-Where are the crackers?"

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-Half day?

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-Half day?

-

-Fair play to the boss.

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-Yes, you can finish

-your Christmas shopping.

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-I finished it months ago. I'm

-taking all the presents round today.

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-I did it all in the January sales.

-It makes sense, don't you think?

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-I don't know. What if you died?

-It'd be a waste of money.

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-That's a good point.

-You're always right.

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-I've spent a lot on Elen and Lisa.

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-Fifty pounds each.

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-Mega bucks.

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-I love Christmas.

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-I can't wait to go to Dublin.

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-Christmas bash.

-I've never been before.

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-Nor me.

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-Pity it wasn't just the two of us.

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-It'd be rude to leave

-Bryn, Lisa and the others here.

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-It was their idea.

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-You're so considerate.

-I'm enjoying myself!

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-I'm determined to have

-a nice Christmas...

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-..but it'll be different

-now that Dad's remarried.

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-I think marriage is nonsense.

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-Why?

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-Think about it.

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-If they don't end in divorce,

-they end in death.

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-There's never a happy ending.

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-You're right again.

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-You're so clever.

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-This Christmas lark

-is a waste of time.

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-I'm not sending any cards this year.

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-None at all?

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-No. I only had one last year.

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-The one I sent you?

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-I don't know who sent it.

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-My brother didn't even send me one.

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-What's Vernon up to these days?

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-I don't know. The only thing

-I know is he lives in Dublin.

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-You said he was gay too.

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-Two things I know about my brother.

-He's gay and he lives in Dublin.

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-You might see him

-when we go over on the trip.

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-I hate Christmas, Trefor.

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-Everyone enjoying themselves with

-their Christmas puddings and turkey.

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-Happy families everywhere.

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-What's that in your hand, Trefor?

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-A Christmas present for you, Vera.

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-I haven't bought you anything.

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-I haven't bought you anything.

-

-I don't give to receive.

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-That's good to hear.

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-Thank you.

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-A Christmas pudding!

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-Thank you, Trefor.

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-There's some brandy in it.

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-Not all bad then.

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-I have no idea what to buy

-the girl in work for secret Santa.

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-What's her name?

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-What's her name?

-

-Sophie.

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-I don't know any Sophies.

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-I knew a Stephanie years ago.

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-What does Sophie like doing?

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-What does Sophie like doing?

-

-No idea.

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-Any hobbies?

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-Any hobbies?

-

-No idea.

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-Don't you know anything about her?

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-Don't you know anything about her?

-

-No.

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-Trixie.

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-The only thing I know about her is

-she's boring and she wears glasses.

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-She looks like Velma in Scooby Doo.

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-I had a crush on Daphne

-from Scooby Doo.

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-It was a cartoon!

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-It's not right to fancy

-a cartoon character!

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-You need to see a doctor.

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-Maybe, but Daphne was pretty.

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-I'm with Tref on this one.

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-I must admit, I nursed a semi...

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-..when I watched Penelope Pitstop

-in Wacky Races.

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-I might have gone overboard

-with Elen and Lisa.

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-They're such good friends.

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-They're such good friends.

-

-Here's Lisa.

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-Stop.

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-Hiya.

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-Here you go. Merry Christmas.

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-Thank you.

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-I'd better give you this now.

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-A 5 voucher for the Pound Emporium.

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-You can buy five things with that.

-Or ten. Sometimes it's two for one.

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-Spend it now or put it under the

-tree. Do you want me to write on it?

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-No. Thank you, Lis.

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-Are you going to my house?

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-Are you going to my house?

-

-Yes.

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-You can give me a lift home then.

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-You can give me a lift home then.

-

-OK.

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-Can I open it now?

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-Can I open it now?

-

-If you want to.

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-Oh, thank you.

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-Oh.

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-You kept the receipt, didn't you?

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-You kept the receipt, didn't you?

-

-Yes.

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-How's Mr James today?

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-Angry, Trefor.

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-Why, what's wrong?

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-I've been in there to book a room

-and table for one on Christmas Day.

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-They refused me!

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-Why?

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-The idiot behind the desk

-said they were full.

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-Didn't they have room

-for a small one?

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-I'm not small, Trefor.

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-No, I know.

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-It will be odd for you this year,

-won't it, Mr James?

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-Mm. What do you mean?

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-The first Christmas

-without Mrs James.

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-Oh, yeah.

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-Very odd. Sad.

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-It was odd how she disappeared too.

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-Yes. And they still

-haven't found the body.

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-What? You mean she's dead?

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-I don't know, do I?

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-It's not much but I thought

-I should get you something.

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-It smells nice. Thanks, Al.

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-I was doing some last minute

-shopping and I remembered you.

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-There we go.

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-I'm not putting any walnuts

-in this year's stuffing.

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-No?

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-I wasn't keen.

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-Christmas isn't the same

-without Nacw.

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-Jim James was saying

-precisely the same earlier.

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-"Trefor, when you drop that weirdo

-off, Bryn's in the pizza place."

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-On my way, Shelley.

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-What's your pizza topping?

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-I didn't buy a pizza, you dick.

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-Where have you been?

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-Where have you been?

-

-In the specialist shop.

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-Buying a secret Santa present

-for Soph... Velma.

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-What did you buy her?

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-What did you buy her?

-

-A DVD.

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-Which one?

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-Scooby Doo Takes Velma

-Doggie Fashion.

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-Never heard of it. Is it good?

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-Never heard of it. Is it good?

-

-I don't know.

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-I'll watch it before I wrap it up.

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-Do you want to watch it with me?

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-Yes, I wouldn't mind.

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-I liked Scooby Doo,

-especially Daphne.

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-I don't know how

-I was so complacent.

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-Forgetting a bottle

-of cream liqueur.

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-Christmas isn't Christmas

-without cream liqueur.

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-Cream liqueur and nuts.

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-I've only been to Dublin once.

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-With Mam, Dad...

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-..Uncle Glyn...

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-..Auntie Betty and her mother...

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-..and some man from Llandwrog.

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-I'm looking ahead to tomorrow.

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-Who are you texting?

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-Who are you texting?

-

-No-one.

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-I'm setting a reminder

-to make sure I pack my tablets.

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-Do the depression tablets

-cause you to fit when lights flash?

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-No. I don't think so. Why?

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-Between you and me...

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-..even though everyone thinks

-we're having a limo...

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-..that's not what I got for us.

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-Instead, I got something

-really, really classy.

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-I can't wait.

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-Imagine what you'll be like

-after you take your happy pills.

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-Yes!

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-I'm a little scared.

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-Can I open my eyes?

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-No.

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-Just like they do

-on 60 Minute Makeover...

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-..before they reveal

-something really classy.

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-Put your foot up here.

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-Sit there.

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-Ready?

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-I'm excited.

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-You're not going to

-take advantage of me, are you?

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-No.

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-No.

-

-Oh.

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-Ten, nine, eight...

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-Hang on. Three, two, one.

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-Wow.

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-Classy!

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-Classy, Trefor.

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-Really, really classy.

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-Dublin, lock up your daughters.

-Here we come.

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-I'm so excited.

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-You're so clever, Trefor.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Trefor, what have you done?

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-Look at the state of this.

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-I think it's pretty.

-What do you think, Jim?

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-Ugly!

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-He has gone a little overboard.

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-What the fuck's this skip?

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-A minibus decorated for the festive

-season. I bought it for myself.

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-Shit present!

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-Sound the horn!

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-# Jingle Bells #

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-Where have you been?

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-In the Glan, for a few scoops.

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-I didn't know it opened so early.

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-We asked kindly last night.

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-Why didn't you ask me

-to come with you?

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-We didn't think you'd want to come.

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-Where are your bags, lads?

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-Anyone wants some sloe gin?

-Dad made it.

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-Do you have to drink it slowly?

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-Do you have to drink it slowly?

-

-It's barely touching my lips.

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-Can I sit in the front?

-I'm ill when I sit in the back.

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-We're only going to Holyhead.

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-We're only going to Holyhead.

-

-I'm a good navigator.

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-We're only going to Holyhead.

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-And trying to find the hotel

-in the centre of Dublin.

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-Are we going to sit together

-all the way, Jim?

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-Yeah, alright.

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-I'll drive

-and you can enjoy yourself.

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-What do you mean?

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-Drink some of the black stuff.

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-To put hairs on your chest.

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-He's bald on his ball bag,

-let alone his chest!

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-I don't need a drink

-to enjoy myself.

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-What, really?

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-Right, here we go.

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-Is it too early

-to sing Bing Bong Bei?

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-Yes, Trefor.

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-Bloody hell.

-Maureen's Driving School.

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-Why don't you drive, Trefor?

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-Or we'll never reach Holyhead.

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-Or we'll never reach Holyhead.

-

-Not in one piece, that's for sure.

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-What are you doing?

0:14:560:14:57

-I'll sue you for whiplash, Trefor.

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-You don't complain when I lash you.

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-We'll swap around in the services.

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-27 miles to go.

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-That is, on the shortest route.

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-A little longer

-on the fastest route.

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-Substantially more

-on the scenic route.

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-Through Aberdaron?

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-No - Malltraeth, Aberffraw,

-Llanfaelog, Rhosneigr...

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-Are you going to talk all the way?

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-Yes.

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-No.

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-No... No.

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-LAUGHTER

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-No... No. No... No.

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-Bloody hell, steady on.

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-You don't usually behave like Lisa.

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-This warms your insides.

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-It is cold in this bus, Trefor.

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-You should have worn more clothes.

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-The heater doesn't work, sorry.

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-The heater doesn't work, sorry.

-

-It's not your fault.

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-Luckily,

-I brought a blanket with me.

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-Hey.

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-What's funny?

0:16:110:16:12

-What's funny?

-

-Nothing, Jim.

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-Anyone want to swap?

0:16:220:16:24

-No.

0:16:240:16:25

-Another can?

0:16:260:16:27

-Another can?

-

-Go on then.

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-Look at that bird in the bus.

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-Phwoarr! She should be in

-a cock book, two-piece spread.

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-I'll give her a spread now.

0:16:380:16:40

-You can see their cocks,

-if you want to.

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-I don't want to.

0:16:500:16:52

-I hope your backside

-are better than your fronts.

0:16:530:16:56

-We're country boys - all excited.

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-Almost there.

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-Is it time for Bing Bong?

0:17:020:17:05

-Yes.

0:17:050:17:07

-# Bing, bong, bing, bong, bei

0:17:070:17:09

-# Bing, bong, bing, bong, bei

0:17:090:17:11

-# Bing, bong, bing, bong, bei

0:17:110:17:13

-# Bing, bong, bing, bong, bei #

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-Welcome to Holyhead, Jim!

0:17:160:17:19

-Who's sharing with who?

0:17:250:17:27

-I don't know.

0:17:270:17:29

-You organised it.

0:17:290:17:31

-You organised it.

-

-And we should thank her.

0:17:310:17:33

-She's done a great job. Hip-hip...

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-Hooray!

0:17:360:17:38

-As long as I'm sharing with Trefor,

-I don't care.

0:17:380:17:42

-I need a single room.

0:17:420:17:45

-Why?

0:17:460:17:48

-I've only ever undressed

-in front of Nacw.

0:17:480:17:51

-Why?

0:17:520:17:53

-I had an unfortunate experience

-on a nature trip in Form 3.

0:17:530:17:58

-What happened, Al?

0:17:590:18:00

-I'd rather not go into detail.

0:18:010:18:04

-You can tell me

-when we're on our own later.

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-And you can tell the rest of us.

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-I'm not sharing with anyone.

0:18:110:18:13

-I'm not sharing with anyone.

-

-Nor me.

0:18:130:18:15

-Jim and I will share.

0:18:150:18:17

-No.

0:18:170:18:18

-Of course we are.

0:18:190:18:20

-No, I said.

0:18:200:18:22

-Why not?

0:18:230:18:23

-Why not?

-

-I fancy a change. Just for a night.

0:18:230:18:26

-Why go all the way to Dublin

-to do what I could do at home?

0:18:260:18:30

-That makes sense to me.

0:18:310:18:33

-I didn't ask you.

0:18:330:18:34

-We're one room short now.

0:18:370:18:39

-What am I going to do?

0:18:390:18:41

-What am I going to do?

-

-Stay with your brother. Vernon.

0:18:410:18:43

-If I can find him.

0:18:430:18:45

-We can go!

0:18:470:18:48

-Hooray!

0:18:490:18:51

-# Here we go, here we go, here we go

0:18:510:18:53

-# Here we go, here we go, here we go

0:18:540:18:57

-# Here we go, here we go,

-here we go, here we go... #

0:18:570:19:01

-Aye-aye, Captain. Safe on board.

0:19:040:19:07

-Switch off.

0:19:100:19:11

-It's dark in here now.

0:19:120:19:14

-I can't wait.

0:19:160:19:17

-I can't wait.

-

-Me too.

0:19:170:19:18

-Me too.

0:19:190:19:20

-Me too. I'm going to get

-absolutely shit-faced on the boat.

0:19:200:19:24

-Me too.

0:19:240:19:26

-Have you seen the Book of Kells?

0:19:270:19:29

-It's in Trinity College.

0:19:290:19:31

-Oh, that! Yes, countless times.

0:19:320:19:35

-I'll help you lock up.

0:19:350:19:36

-The Post Office

-is well worth seeing.

0:19:380:19:41

-Any drink there?

0:19:410:19:42

-Any drink there?

-

-No.

0:19:420:19:43

-Fuck it then.

0:19:440:19:45

-Let's go.

0:19:460:19:47

-My phone!

0:19:470:19:49

-This will make up for the weekend,

-Vera.

0:20:020:20:05

-Oh, yes, Jim.

0:20:050:20:07

-I found Elen's phone.

0:20:100:20:12

-She'll be glad.

0:20:120:20:14

-I don't think so. It doesn't work.

0:20:140:20:16

-I don't think so. It doesn't work.

-

-What a pity.

0:20:160:20:17

-Will the bus be OK here?

0:20:190:20:21

-Yes. What could happen to it?

0:20:220:20:24

-The ship could sink.

0:20:240:20:26

-Come on. You're not meant to be

-on the car deck.

0:20:300:20:34

-Hurry up.

0:20:340:20:36

-We're coming... now!

0:20:360:20:39

-VEHICLE ALARM

0:20:400:20:42

-# Alive, alive-oh

0:20:470:20:49

-# Alive, alive-oh

0:20:490:20:51

-# Sing cockles and mussels

0:20:520:20:55

-# Alive, alive-oh

0:20:550:20:57

-We're really here now.

0:20:580:21:01

-# Alive, alive-oh

0:21:010:21:03

-# Sing cockles and mussels

0:21:040:21:06

-# Alive, alive-oh #

0:21:060:21:08

-Are those the only words you know?

0:21:080:21:10

-Are those the only words you know?

-

-Yes.

0:21:100:21:12

-I got absolutely shitfaced

-on the boat.

0:21:120:21:15

-Are you sure? Perfectly sure?

0:21:180:21:22

-There has to be a mistake.

0:21:220:21:24

-What's wrong?

0:21:240:21:25

-What's wrong?

-

-What's the street name?

0:21:250:21:27

-McFadden Street. OK, thanks.

0:21:280:21:31

-What's wrong?

0:21:310:21:33

-We're not staying at the

-Travel Hotel in the city centre.

0:21:330:21:37

-Why not?

0:21:380:21:39

-We're staying in the Travel Hotel

-outside Dublin.

0:21:390:21:42

-You're hopeless, Leanne.

0:21:430:21:45

-It's their fault.

0:21:450:21:46

-I've located McFadden Street.

0:21:470:21:50

-Square E4.

0:21:500:21:53

-Make a U-turn, Tref.

0:21:560:21:57

-How far are we from the centre?

0:21:580:22:00

-What's the scale of this map?

0:22:000:22:04

-Ballpark figure.

0:22:040:22:06

-Some miles.

0:22:090:22:11

-At least we're in Dublin.

-Let's enjoy ourselves.

0:22:130:22:18

-BRYN FON ON CD

0:22:200:22:21

-# Alive, alive-oh

0:22:240:22:26

-# Alive, alive-oh

-

-Not again!

0:22:260:22:28

-# Sing cockles and mussels

0:22:280:22:32

-# Alive, alive-oh #

0:22:320:22:35

-.

0:22:350:22:35

-Subtitles

0:22:400:22:40

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:22:400:22:42

-Mam?

0:22:470:22:48

-I'm hopeless.

0:22:490:22:50

-I can't organise anything properly.

0:22:500:22:53

-I can't even organise a hotel.

0:22:530:22:56

-I had my fortune read today.

0:22:560:22:58

-She said things

-would only get worse.

0:23:000:23:03

-Everything she had to say

-was bad news.

0:23:050:23:07

-She said I'd lose my job...

0:23:110:23:14

-..someone close to me would die...

0:23:140:23:17

-..and I'd be unlucky in love.

0:23:180:23:21

-You know what means, don't you?

0:23:220:23:24

-Trefor's going to finish with me.

0:23:240:23:27

-What?

0:23:280:23:29

-Who's ill? Smwt the cat?

-You're putting her down?

0:23:300:23:34

-I have to go. Ta-ra.

0:23:340:23:36

-Have you been crying?

0:23:380:23:40

-Yes.

0:23:400:23:41

-What's wrong?

0:23:410:23:42

-What's wrong?

-

-Nothing.

0:23:420:23:44

-Where have you been?

0:23:450:23:46

-Shop.

0:23:470:23:48

-Shop.

-

-What did you want?

0:23:480:23:50

-Nothing.

0:23:520:23:53

-Guess who I've just seen.

0:23:540:23:56

-The headmistress of the school

-where you're a nursery assistant.

0:23:560:24:00

-Really? What a coincidence.

0:24:000:24:02

-She's on a hen night and drowning

-her sorrows. The school could close.

0:24:020:24:07

-Not enough children,

-Could you lose your job?

0:24:070:24:11

-Yes, Trefor.

0:24:130:24:14

-Here they come.

0:24:230:24:25

-My backside'll be like the Japanese

-flag after all this black stuff.

0:24:310:24:35

-Where do the lads want to go?

0:24:370:24:39

-Take us to a lap dancing club.

-Coming?

0:24:390:24:41

-No!

0:24:420:24:43

-No!

-

-It's a nice place.

0:24:430:24:44

-What happens there?

0:24:450:24:46

-What happens there?

-

-Girls are belittled there, Trefor.

0:24:460:24:49

-Wise up, Leanne.

0:24:490:24:51

-Pretty girls are paid

-to play with their tits.

0:24:520:24:55

-What's the problem

-with being paid to whip them out?

0:25:010:25:04

-Who's exploiting who?

0:25:040:25:06

-Yeah, too right.

0:25:070:25:08

-As long as you don't touch,

-it's alright.

0:25:090:25:12

-It's innocent fun.

0:25:120:25:13

-It's innocent fun.

-

-Very innocent if you ask me.

0:25:130:25:16

-It's like offering you a sweet but

-taking it away before you grab it.

0:25:160:25:21

-Comparing breasts to sweets

-is disgusting.

0:25:220:25:25

-But accurate.

0:25:250:25:27

-But accurate.

-

-Is it? How?

0:25:270:25:29

-Because you can't sip on either.

0:25:290:25:32

-Stop please, Trefor.

0:25:330:25:35

-Stop please, Trefor.

-

-Where?

0:25:350:25:36

-By the kiosk.

-I have an important call to make.

0:25:370:25:40

-Trying to phone Vernon, are you?

0:25:420:25:44

-Trying to phone Vernon, are you?

-

-Yes. Don't wait for me.

0:25:440:25:46

-Pity.

0:25:530:25:54

-She could stay with you two.

0:25:540:25:56

-I could sleep on the floor.

0:25:570:25:58

-I could sleep on the floor.

-

-No way, Trefor.

0:25:580:26:00

-I asked for small chips.

0:26:050:26:07

-That's why I had,

-according to the waiter.

0:26:080:26:11

-Dublin's small chips are bigger

-than Bangor's large chips.

0:26:130:26:18

-And more expensive.

0:26:180:26:20

-Begging's rife here.

0:26:230:26:25

-It's such a pity.

0:26:270:26:29

-They need to find a job.

0:26:290:26:31

-I didn't give them a penny.

0:26:310:26:34

-You don't get anything

-for nothing in this life.

0:26:340:26:37

-That's what my father used to say.

0:26:380:26:42

-Where do you want to go, Al?

0:26:420:26:45

-If you see a bingo hall,

-drop me there.

0:26:450:26:48

-I haven't been for a while.

0:26:480:26:50

-I used to go with Nain.

0:26:500:26:52

-Then home on the bus

-with chips and Vimto.

0:26:550:26:58

-You could eat on the bus?

0:26:590:27:01

-Yes.

0:27:010:27:03

-In those days.

0:27:030:27:05

-Housey-housey.

0:27:070:27:08

-Two fat ladies.

0:27:100:27:12

-88.

0:27:130:27:14

-Legs eleven.

0:27:140:27:17

-I'd make some up myself.

0:27:170:27:20

-Really?

0:27:210:27:22

-Do you want to hear some?

0:27:250:27:27

-Go on then.

0:27:270:27:29

-Two and three.

0:27:320:27:34

-23?

0:27:370:27:39

-Five!

0:27:390:27:41

-One and two.

0:27:420:27:44

-Three.

0:27:460:27:47

-Three.

-

-No, twelve.

0:27:470:27:49

-Highway to heaven.

0:27:520:27:54

-Highway to heaven.

-

-Seven. Seven!

0:27:540:27:56

-Yes. You understand, Tref.

0:27:570:28:00

-We're having fun now.

0:28:000:28:03

-I don't think

-there's a bingo hall in Dublin.

0:28:030:28:06

-Drop me off close to the centre.

0:28:080:28:10

-I'll have a look round.

0:28:110:28:13

-I don't know where else I can go.

0:28:140:28:16

-Go and join the lads.

0:28:170:28:19

-Where are they? In a pub?

0:28:190:28:20

-Yes, one that has dancing.

0:28:210:28:23

-Thanks, but I'm not one for pop.

0:28:260:28:29

-Only the pop you can drink.

0:28:290:28:31

-See you later.

0:28:320:28:34

-Why did you send him

-to a lap dancing club?

0:28:370:28:41

-It might do him some good.

-Raise his spirits.

0:28:410:28:44

-That's not the only thing

-that would rise.

0:28:440:28:47

-The only breast he's ever seen

-is chicken breast!

0:28:470:28:51

-You're naughty, Leanne!

0:28:550:28:57

-I'm horny, Trefor.

0:28:590:29:01

-Is there anything you can take

-for that?

0:29:010:29:04

-Hey! Fuck, I'm angry.

0:29:190:29:21

-I got banned

-from the lap dancing place.

0:29:220:29:25

-Why?

0:29:250:29:27

-Why?

-

-Groping a girl's backside.

0:29:270:29:28

-Swine.

0:29:290:29:30

-She was sat on my lap

-with her legs apart.

0:29:300:29:33

-I'm only human.

0:29:330:29:35

-You knew you weren't supposed

-to touch.

0:29:350:29:38

-Her tits were in my face.

0:29:380:29:41

-The best pair I ever saw,

-even though they were fake.

0:29:430:29:46

-How do you know?

0:29:470:29:48

-How do you know?

-

-They defied gravity.

0:29:480:29:50

-When she gyrated up and down,

-her tits stayed in the same place.

0:29:500:29:54

-But better good fakes

-than bad natural tits.

0:29:550:29:59

-What makes me angry is...

0:30:020:30:04

-..I spent 100 euros on champagne

-to share with her.

0:30:050:30:09

-Hey, do me a favour, Tref.

0:30:100:30:12

-What?

0:30:120:30:14

-Go and get

-the rest of the bottle for me.

0:30:140:30:17

-There's at least 30 euros left.

0:30:170:30:19

-No! You're not going in.

0:30:190:30:21

-Will you go, Leanne?

0:30:230:30:24

-Will you go, Leanne?

-

-No!

0:30:240:30:26

-I don't want anyone

-groping my backside.

0:30:260:30:29

-They won't touch you.

0:30:290:30:31

-There are some real stunners there

-with lovely backsides.

0:30:310:30:35

-Do you believe in clairvoyancy?

0:30:420:30:44

-Seeing the future

-and fortune telling?

0:30:440:30:47

-I know what clairvoyancy means.

0:30:470:30:49

-Do you believe in it?

0:30:500:30:51

-Do you believe in it?

-

-It's a load of shit.

0:30:510:30:53

-She was a girl on the street.

0:30:530:30:55

-Reading your palm?

0:30:550:30:57

-No, a crystal ball.

0:30:570:30:59

-Balls! Was she wearing a scarf?

-Was her hair jet black?

0:31:000:31:03

-Was she wearing large earrings?

-Did she have eyelashes like spiders?

0:31:040:31:08

-Did you see her too?

0:31:090:31:10

-Did you see her too?

-

-No.

0:31:100:31:11

-Did she have a stupid accent?

-A cross between Irish and Italian?

0:31:120:31:17

-Yes.

0:31:170:31:18

-How much did you pay her?

0:31:190:31:20

-How much did you pay her?

-

-Ten euros.

0:31:200:31:22

-She saw you coming.

0:31:220:31:24

-Do you think so? Really?

0:31:240:31:26

-That's not what I meant, Leanne,

-you idiot.

0:31:260:31:29

-Put it like this.

0:31:310:31:33

-If they could see the future,

-they'd win the Lottery every week.

0:31:330:31:37

-The Garda are lovely people.

0:31:400:31:42

-Important but lovely. You're not

-supposed to drive a car down here.

0:31:420:31:46

-But we're OK in a minibus.

0:31:470:31:49

-Give me strength!

0:31:490:31:51

-Where's Elen?

0:31:520:31:54

-Where's Elen?

-

-Fuck knows. I lost her.

0:31:540:31:56

-She's leathered.

0:31:560:31:58

-Where do you want to go?

0:31:580:32:00

-Somewhere with a lot of pubs

-and far away from Bryn.

0:32:000:32:04

-I fancy a cop-off tonight.

-And I will.

0:32:040:32:07

-How do you know?

0:32:070:32:09

-I know, Tref.

0:32:090:32:11

-Are you a clairvoyant too?

0:32:120:32:14

-This is a sad song.

0:32:230:32:25

-Yes.

0:32:250:32:26

-I cry every time I listen to it.

0:32:270:32:29

-Listen to this.

0:32:310:32:33

-Really, really sad.

0:32:330:32:35

-Look at these two!

0:32:390:32:40

-There are a lot of stags

-and hens here.

0:32:430:32:46

-If you get married, Trefor...

0:32:480:32:49

-..will you have a stag do

-with all your friends?

0:32:500:32:52

-Yes. Alwyn.

0:32:530:32:56

-Look at this.

0:32:580:33:00

-Oh, Trefor.

0:33:100:33:12

-Oooh-oooh-aaah!

0:33:120:33:13

-You're funny, Trefor.

0:33:190:33:21

-Really, really funny.

0:33:210:33:23

-Look at these.

0:33:270:33:28

-Don't look at them, Trefor.

0:33:280:33:31

-I can't help it.

0:33:310:33:33

-Don't.

0:33:330:33:35

-Yours are a lot nice than hers.

0:33:350:33:37

-Are they?

0:33:380:33:39

-Are they?

-

-Yes.

0:33:390:33:41

-You've never said

-anything like that before.

0:33:410:33:44

-I don't talk about things like that.

-I'm shy.

0:33:440:33:47

-I hope you're not shy later on.

-I won't be.

0:33:480:33:52

-He says my tits are better

-than yours so...

0:33:550:33:58

-So go away.

0:33:580:34:00

-Do you remember Bryn

-talking about sweets and boobs?

0:34:110:34:16

-You can call mine bonbons

-if you want.

0:34:170:34:20

-No!

0:34:200:34:21

-I don't like bonbons.

0:34:220:34:24

-.

0:34:250:34:25

-Subtitles

0:34:320:34:32

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:34:320:34:34

-SIRENS

0:34:350:34:37

-I don't like this place, Trefor.

-Hold me.

0:34:380:34:40

-I'm scared.

0:34:410:34:43

-I'm scared too.

0:34:430:34:45

-What happened? Did you fall?

0:34:540:34:56

-No.

0:34:560:34:58

-What happened?

0:34:580:34:59

-What happened?

-

-Nothing.

0:34:590:35:01

-Were you in a fight?

0:35:010:35:04

-They started it.

0:35:040:35:06

-Why?

0:35:060:35:08

-I was gambling on the greyhounds.

0:35:090:35:12

-Lucky Jim came in at 7/1.

0:35:120:35:15

-I went across the road to celebrate.

0:35:150:35:18

-Karaoke bar.

0:35:200:35:21

-Do you know my karaoke song, Trefor?

0:35:220:35:24

-No, I don't.

0:35:250:35:26

-I Will Always Love You -

-Whitney Houston.

0:35:270:35:30

-Anyway, I chatted up this bird.

0:35:350:35:38

-She was nice too.

0:35:390:35:40

-Blonde.

0:35:420:35:43

-Short skirt.

0:35:430:35:45

-She was wearing suspenders.

0:35:450:35:48

-How do you know?

0:35:490:35:51

-I don't know for a fact

-but my imagination ran wild.

0:35:510:35:55

-Why did you get beaten up?

0:35:590:36:00

-Why did you get beaten up?

-

-I didn't get beaten up, Trefor.

0:36:000:36:03

-I got into a fight.

0:36:030:36:05

-Why did you get into a fight?

0:36:060:36:08

-I hospitalised three of them.

0:36:090:36:12

-What started it all off?

0:36:120:36:15

-I hadn't realised

-that she was married...

0:36:150:36:18

-..to the bloke who owned the pub.

0:36:180:36:21

-He had to stand up

-for the honour of his missus.

0:36:230:36:26

-I have the utmost respect for him

-for that.

0:36:270:36:30

-But I made a mistake.

0:36:300:36:32

-Big mistake, Trefor.

0:36:320:36:34

-Schoolboy error.

0:36:360:36:38

-Stupid boy.

0:36:390:36:40

-It's rather early

-to be going back to the hotel.

0:36:470:36:50

-I'm shattered, Tref.

0:36:500:36:52

-I fancy a nap.

0:36:520:36:55

-The beds in the hotel are huge.

0:36:580:37:00

-Californian King

-said the Estonian in Reception.

0:37:000:37:05

-Mam would be over the moon.

0:37:060:37:08

-Her bingo wings

-hang over her Queen Size.

0:37:080:37:12

-I'm not planning on sleeping

-in the bed, Trefor.

0:37:130:37:15

-Where are you sleeping then?

0:37:170:37:19

-That's not what I meant.

0:37:200:37:21

-Hey, look, Elin.

0:37:220:37:24

-Your phone's bust on the boat.

0:37:240:37:27

-She can't hear you, Leanne.

0:37:270:37:29

-Do you know who that idiot is?

0:37:300:37:31

-Do you know who that idiot is?

-

-Yeah.

0:37:310:37:32

-Ta-ta, Elen.

0:37:330:37:36

-Is your friend local, Lisa?

0:37:380:37:40

-No. Wicklow, yeah?

-You're here for two nights?

0:37:410:37:44

-There's a Wicklow

-in one of Bryn Fon's songs.

0:37:450:37:49

-What's his name?

0:37:490:37:51

-Dermot O'Connell.

0:37:510:37:53

-Irish?

0:37:540:37:55

-Irish?

-

-Yes.

0:37:550:37:56

-I thought so.

0:37:570:37:58

-Och aye the noo, Dermot!

0:37:590:38:02

-Look, Trefor. The gorillas.

0:38:110:38:13

-There's three of them now.

0:38:130:38:15

-They must have had a baby gorilla.

0:38:150:38:18

-Are they the same ones?

0:38:190:38:21

-Are they the same ones?

-

-I don't know.

0:38:210:38:23

-I can't tell the difference.

0:38:230:38:25

-No answer?

0:38:270:38:29

-No answer?

-

-No.

0:38:290:38:31

-Where is she then?

0:38:320:38:34

-Looking for a hotel.

0:38:340:38:36

-Poor Vera.

0:38:370:38:39

-Yes.

0:38:390:38:40

-This is a great trip. I've pulled

-one of the lap dancing girls.

0:38:410:38:46

-Where's Danny?

0:38:490:38:51

-I don't fancy him, do I?

0:38:510:38:53

-Have you left him on his own?

-Where is he?

0:38:530:38:56

-By the river, with a policewoman,

-some handcuffs and a truncheon.

0:38:570:39:01

-A stripogram?

0:39:010:39:03

-No, a real policewoman, I think.

0:39:030:39:06

-I've given the lap dancer

-the hotel address.

0:39:060:39:10

-She's meeting me after work.

0:39:100:39:12

-What's her job?

0:39:120:39:14

-Lap dancer, you tit.

0:39:140:39:16

-Can you take me back to the hotel?

-I'll pay you an' all.

0:39:170:39:20

-Season of goodwill!

0:39:210:39:23

-I'm skint.

0:39:280:39:29

-I'm skint.

-

-Funny! The old ones are the best.

0:39:290:39:32

-Ha, ha, well done.

0:39:320:39:34

-I'm serious.

0:39:350:39:36

-I'm serious.

-

-Don't lie.

0:39:360:39:38

-I'm not lying.

0:39:380:39:40

-The lap dancer stole my wallet.

0:39:410:39:43

-Turn around, Tref.

-Take me back to the club.

0:39:440:39:47

-Look, Leanne, the gorillas.

0:39:510:39:53

-Concentrate on the road, Trefor.

0:39:540:39:56

-Did you find your wallet?

0:40:090:40:10

-Did you find your wallet?

-

-No.

0:40:100:40:12

-What did you find there then?

0:40:120:40:14

-What did you find there then?

-

-Do you want all the ins and outs?

0:40:140:40:17

-Yes.

0:40:170:40:18

-You're not desperate enough

-to pay for that sort of thing.

0:40:190:40:23

-I'd pole dance for you for free.

0:40:230:40:26

-There are a lot of Poles here.

0:40:260:40:28

-From Poland.

0:40:280:40:30

-And lap dancers come from Lapland.

0:40:300:40:34

-Don't they?

0:40:340:40:36

-Christmassy!

0:40:360:40:38

-Did you see the girl?

0:40:400:40:43

-The barman said she's knocked off.

0:40:430:40:46

-She's probably waiting for you

-in the hotel with the wallet.

0:40:460:40:51

-We'll go straight there.

0:40:510:40:53

-Wise up, bellend.

0:40:540:40:56

-What's a bellend?

0:40:560:40:58

-How did you know Dermot?

0:41:090:41:11

-I didn't until two hours ago.

0:41:120:41:14

-I didn't until two hours ago.

-

-How did you meet?

0:41:140:41:15

-He offered to buy me a cocktail

-in the bar. I accepted.

0:41:160:41:20

-Sex on the Beach!

0:41:200:41:22

-Yes!

0:41:230:41:25

-And then sex in bed!

0:41:250:41:26

-And then sex in bed!

-

-We don't want to know.

0:41:260:41:29

-Do we, Trefor?

0:41:290:41:30

-Well...

0:41:310:41:33

-PHONE RINGS

0:41:330:41:35

-Hello? Vera?

0:41:380:41:40

-Where are you?

0:41:430:41:45

-On my way.

0:41:460:41:48

-Trefor!

0:41:490:41:50

-What's wrong, Vera?

0:42:000:42:01

-What's wrong, Vera?

-

-I'm disappointed, Trefor.

0:42:010:42:04

-Are you?

0:42:050:42:06

-Yes. Disappointed and sad.

0:42:070:42:10

-What happened?

0:42:110:42:13

-I found Vernon, my brother.

0:42:140:42:16

-I found Vernon, my brother.

-

-Good news.

0:42:160:42:18

-No! It's not good news, Trefor.

0:42:180:42:21

-Not only is he gay...

0:42:210:42:24

-..but he's a transsexual post-op.

0:42:240:42:28

-What's that?

0:42:280:42:30

-He's a woman.

0:42:320:42:34

-His biddle-ooh's been cut off.

0:42:340:42:38

-Aw!

0:42:390:42:40

-Worse than that...

0:42:410:42:43

-Worse than that...

-

-Is there worse to come?

0:42:430:42:45

-Yes!

0:42:450:42:47

-Vernon, my brother...

0:42:480:42:50

-..my sister...

0:42:510:42:52

-..is more attractive than me.

0:42:520:42:55

-Is he a stunner?

0:42:570:42:59

-Not bad at all.

0:43:000:43:02

-Take me back to the hotel

-to pick up my bags.

0:43:040:43:08

-I'm going to look for another hotel.

0:43:080:43:11

-You can stay with me, Vera.

0:43:110:43:13

-Can I?

0:43:130:43:15

-Of course you can.

0:43:150:43:17

-Right, we'll go back to the hotel

-and meet in half an hour for food.

0:43:170:43:23

-Thanks for sticking with me, Jim.

0:43:240:43:27

-Not many have.

0:43:300:43:32

-Jim got beaten up for trying to

-cop off with the bar owner's wife.

0:43:320:43:37

-Shut it, Trefor!

0:43:380:43:40

-Sorry.

0:43:410:43:42

-This place is nice, Trefor.

-Romantic.

0:43:480:43:51

-I don't want to go home.

-I want to be with you all the time.

0:43:530:43:56

-Me too.

0:43:560:43:58

-I phoned the others

-but they're late, as usual.

0:43:580:44:02

-I'm quite glad, actually.

0:44:030:44:05

-Because they're all shitfaced?

0:44:060:44:08

-Yes...

0:44:090:44:10

-..but I have something

-I want to say to you.

0:44:100:44:13

-I think I know what it is.

0:44:150:44:17

-I think I know what it is.

-

-Do you?

0:44:170:44:18

-The fortune teller told me.

0:44:190:44:21

-So I don't have to say a thing then?

0:44:220:44:24

-Oh, phew.

-I wasn't looking forward to it.

0:44:240:44:27

-I want to hear you saying it.

0:44:280:44:30

-I want to know why you're doing it.

0:44:300:44:33

-What are you doing with a gorilla?

-Have you stolen it?

0:44:360:44:40

-No, they dragged me here.

0:44:400:44:42

-Why are you wearing a gorilla suit,

-Elen?

0:44:430:44:46

-I'm shitfaced.

0:44:460:44:49

-Why are you wet, Danny?

0:44:490:44:51

-Why are you wet, Danny?

-

-Dunno, but I'm shitfaced too.

0:44:510:44:54

-Whose idea was it to build a river

-in the city centre?

0:45:020:45:05

-Lucky I was shitfaced

-or I would have drowned.

0:45:050:45:09

-I lost almost 20 euros

-in that bingo hall.

0:45:100:45:13

-I lost 100.

0:45:140:45:15

-I lost 100.

-

-I've lost more than that.

0:45:150:45:16

-I've lost my brother.

0:45:160:45:18

-I lost my reputation.

0:45:190:45:20

-I lost my new gorilla friends.

0:45:200:45:24

-Anyone enjoyed themselves?

0:45:240:45:26

-Anyone enjoyed themselves?

-

-I have.

0:45:260:45:27

-What are you doing, you prick?

0:45:330:45:35

-This might lift your spirits.

0:45:360:45:38

-Come with me, Leanne.

0:45:400:45:42

-What is it?

0:45:590:46:01

-Open it.

0:46:010:46:03

-Nice, Trefor.

0:46:080:46:10

-Thank you.

0:46:100:46:12

-Open the purse.

0:46:120:46:14

-It's lovely...

0:46:170:46:18

-It's an engagement ring.

0:46:220:46:24

-Will you?

0:46:240:46:26

-Marry you?

0:46:260:46:27

-Marry you?

-

-Yes.

0:46:270:46:29

-You said all marriages

-ended in divorce or death.

0:46:290:46:33

-Hand it back, quick!

0:46:330:46:35

-Don't worry. I promise I won't die.

0:46:350:46:38

-Not until the end.

0:46:380:46:40

-Trefor!

0:46:420:46:43

-Will you then?

0:46:430:46:44

-Will you then?

-

-Yes.

0:46:440:46:45

-What's happening?

0:46:530:46:55

-What's happening?

-

-Leanne's getting married to Trefor!

0:46:550:46:58

-Is Leanne shitfaced too?

0:46:580:47:01

-Food!

0:47:050:47:07

-Food!

-

-And drink!

0:47:070:47:08

-Step on it, Trefor!

0:47:090:47:10

-Trefor! Trefor! Trefor!

0:47:130:47:18

-# A black pregnant woman

-leading the way

0:47:250:47:30

-# Conscientious students

-full of the stresses of life

0:47:300:47:35

-# A pelican screaming

-and flashing to the beat

0:47:360:47:41

-# Park Street pulsating

-to the music of Canned Heat

0:47:420:47:46

-# There's a Mardi Gras

-in Upper Bangor

0:47:460:47:50

-# Calypso on everyone's lips

0:47:510:47:54

-# Ed Povey's people

-laughing from the walls...

0:47:550:47:58

-You do know that 37.7 %

-of marriages end in divorce.

0:48:000:48:05

-Shut your face, Alwyn.

0:48:060:48:08

-# There's a Mardi Gras

-in Upper Bangor

0:48:090:48:11

-# Calypso on everyone's lips

0:48:110:48:15

-# Ed Povey's people

-laughing from the walls

0:48:150:48:19

-# And the singer

0:48:190:48:21

-# The singer all alone #

0:48:230:48:28

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

0:48:280:48:30

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0:48:310:48:31

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