Mastermind Special BBC Children in Need


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Mastermind Special

Comedians Russell Kane, Jarred Christmas, Karen Taylor and Imran Yusuf tackle Britain's toughest quiz in aid of Children in Need. Subjects include Fred Dibnah and the Transformers.


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Four celebrities who claim to know everything

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about their specialist subject.

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But can they cut it, on television's toughest quiz?

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They've agreed to put themselves in the hot seat

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in aid of Children In Need.

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But only one person can be the winner.

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Who will be crowned tonight's

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Mastermind for Children In Need?

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In the spotlight tonight, Karen Taylor, who has high hopes

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for her subject, the much-loved steeplejack Fred Dibnah.

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Next, Imran Yusuf, and the Hong Kong films of kung fu king Jackie Chan.

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A rather more scholarly offering for Russell Kane, Evelyn Waugh.

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And Jarryd Christmas, who answers questions

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on the children's cartoon series, Transformers.

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APPLAUSE

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Hello, I'm John Humphrys,

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and welcome to a special edition of Mastermind.

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Tonight, we bring you a light-hearted show,

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but all in a good cause.

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Here, to test their nerves and knowledge,

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are four brave comedy talents.

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More accustomed to making us laugh,

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they've agreed to take their place in the infamous black chair,

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in aid of Children In Need.

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But, we won't be giving them an easy ride because of that.

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They will still need to exercise their intellects

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in our two vigorous question and answer rounds.

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The usual rules apply, two minutes on their chosen subject,

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and two minutes on general knowledge.

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All the contenders have given up their time for free,

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so, if you would also like to donate, please log on to:

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The winner does walk away with something,

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our unique Pudsey trophy, but who will it be tonight?

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We'll soon find out, and let me ask our first contender to join us.

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And your name is...

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your occupation...

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and your specialist subject...

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Fred Dibnah, in two minutes, starting now.

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In which Lancashire town was Fred Dibnah born in 1938?

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Bolton.

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Fred's home was a Victorian building designed for what?

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Mill?

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A gatehouse. On which building was he working

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when he made his first television appearance on look North West in 1978?

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Bolton Parish Church.

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Bolton Town Hall, close! Fred's technical drawing

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became a feature of his television programmes,

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after drawing which cathedral?

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St Paul's Cathedral.

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Fred's Aveling and Porter steam roller,

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was originally named what after his first wife?

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-Alison.

-Yes.

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After formal education, Fred was given

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an apprenticeship by Bill Rawlinson, in which occupation?

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Joiner.

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Where did he take first wife Alison and their daughters

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on holiday, although he spent much of his time

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repairing a chimney there?

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Blackpool.

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A teenage Fred attached two items

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to the top of a tall chimney for a bet, and the prank

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blamed on students. What were the items?

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Union Jacks?

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Which catchphrase associated with Fred,

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followed "It's done for", after he felled his first chimney?

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Do you like that?

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Born to second wife Susan, Fred's two sons are Jack and...

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Roger.

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Which of Fred's projects in his own backyard,

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was documented in the 2004 programme Dig With Dibnah?

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Sinking a mineshaft.

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Fred was a one-man band, but he did have

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one long-serving assistant on the ground. Who was he?

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Don Paiton.

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When he did his national service in Germany,

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to what was he assigned before looking after

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the regiment's buildings?

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Catering.

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Fred's early career was helped by a chance meeting

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with former art teacher Lonsdale Bonner,

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who, according to Fred, "talked posh".

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What fee did Bonner receive for every job he got Fred?

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£10.

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What part of a factory did he accidentally demolish

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with falling bricks in a rare mishap?

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Workshop?

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Blacksmith's shop. Which award did Fred

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receive from the Queen in July 2004,

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which he followed with a tour of London on his steam tractor?

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MBE.

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What did he make for the church..

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BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

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..where his son was christened in 1987?

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A weather cock?

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Correct!

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You had no passes, Karen, you've got 14 points.

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Thanks!

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And our next contender, please.

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KAREN URGES: Go on!

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AUDIENCE LAUGHS

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And your name is.

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Your occupation.

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And your chosen subject.

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Jackie Chan in two minutes.

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Born in 1954, what was his birth name which means born in Hong Kong?

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-Chan Kong-sang.

-At the beginning of Operation Condor,

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Jackie escapes from what fate after drinking the cave tribe's holy water?

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-Being killed by them.

-Having to marry the obese princess.

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The out-takes shown at the end of a 1981 film impressed him so much

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he began to use the same device in his own films. What was it?

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-Can you repeat the question?

-The out-takes shown at the end of which 1981 film

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impressed him so much he began to use it in his own films.

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What was it?

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-Bloopers when stunts went wrong.

-The Cannonball Run.

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In Dragons Forever, Betty says she isn't bothered about

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a man's looks but she hates a what?

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-Snob.

-She might but a potbelly is the answer.

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The stunt mishap that nearly killed Jackie leaving him with a hole in his skull

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took place during the making of which film?

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Armour of God.

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What drink is advertised on the side of the double-decker bus

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Jackie's character clings to at the beginning of Police Story?

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-Pepsi.

-Lemon tea.

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When questioned about his beliefs in Armour of God,

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the Hawk says he believes in a very powerful god

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that provides him with his food and lodgings. What is it?

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-Money.

-What is the name of the kick-boxing champion

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who performs a spin kick during his fight with Jackie at the end of Wheels on Meals

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that extinguishes a row of candles on a table?

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Benny "The Jet" Urquidez.

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In Operation Condor, what does Jackie use to get down the mountain

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after he has escaped from the cave tribe?

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A big inflatable plastic balloon ball thing.

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A zorb, yes.

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While a pupil at the China drama academy,

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Jackie was chosen to be part of which opera troupe?

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Seven Little Fortunes.

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In Police Story, how many times does Jackie's character get his birthday cake

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shoved in his face after a misunderstanding at his apartment?

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-Three times.

-What is the name of the co-star in Police Story 3: Super Cop

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who performs the memorable motorbike stunt at the end of the film?

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-Michelle Yeoh.

-In Dragons Forever,

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the trial is adjourned after the expert witness is ordered by the judge

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to answer what question put to her by Jackie, the defence lawyer?

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-Do you love me?

-No. I mean, I don't love you but the answer is correct.

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You have a total, Imran, of nine points.

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APPLAUSE

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Our next contender, please.

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And your name is.

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Your occupation.

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Your chosen subject.

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Evelyn Waugh in two minutes, starting now.

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Which university did Waugh attend from January 1922,

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he left without a degree and a lot of debt?

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-Oxford.

-What title was given to the trilogy comprising Officers and Gentlemen,

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Men at Arms and Unconditional Surrender

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when it was published as a single volume in 1965?

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The Sword of Honour.

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Which novel about a middle-aged Catholic author first published in 1957

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is a fictionalised account of the nervous breakdown Waugh had on board a ship?

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The Ordeal of Gilbert Pinfold.

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How were Waugh and his first wife known to their friends because of their first names?

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-He-Evelyn and She-Evelyn.

-Which Oxford club, probably based on

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the real-life Bullingdon Club is holding its raucous

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and destructive annual dinner at the beginning of Decline and Fall?

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-Bollinger Club.

-In which novel does the Oxford-educated Emperor Seth

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try to modernise his country, the fictional African island of Azania?

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Black Mischief.

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In Brideshead Revisited, what does Sebastian Flyte call his teddy bear?

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-Aloysius.

-The title of which of Waugh's novels

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was taken from a line in TS Eliot's The Waste Land?

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-A Handful of Dust.

-To which village in Somerset

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did Waugh and his family move in 1956?

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-Pixton.

-Combe Florey. In Scoop, William Boot is a nature correspondent

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sent abroad after being mistaken for a war reporter.

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For which national newspaper does he work?

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-The Daily Beast.

-Which novel set

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at the beginning of the Second World War reintroduces characters

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from other works such as Basil Seal from Black Mischief?

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Put Out More Flags.

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In Vile Bodies, Jane Brown invites the remaining guests of Archie Schwert's party

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back to her house. What's her address?

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-Number Ten Downing Street.

-In 1930, Waugh went to which African country to report on

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the coronation of its Emperor? He returned five years later to cover the war with Italy.

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Abyssinia.

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What is the name of the hero of the Sword of Honour trilogy

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whose unhappy experiences in the army are based on Waugh's own?

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-Guy Crouchback.

-Who asked Waugh to accompany him

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on Fitzroy Maclean's military mission to Croatia in 1944

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where they were involved in a plane crash?

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-Sir Randolph Churchill.

-In A Handful of Dust, what's the name of

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the married woman who has an affair with John Beaver?

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-Brenda Last.

-Dennis Barlow works at the Happier Hunting Ground

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pets' funeral parlour in which novel set in California?

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-The Loved One.

-In 1930, Waugh became a member of which Christian church?

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-The Catholic Church.

-In Sword of Honour,

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what's the name of Guy Crouchback's wife who is killed by a doodlebug?

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-Virginia Troy.

-Absolutely.

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What a round, you've got 18 points!

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APPLAUSE

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And our final Contender. Follow that!

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No!

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LAUGHTER

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I'm afraid you've got no choice.

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And your name? Your occupation?

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Another one of them. And your chosen subject?

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LAUGHTER

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Transformers, the early years. Two minutes, starting now.

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The Transformers cartoons features two opposing groups of transforming robots -

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the Decepticons and the Autobots.

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In which decade did it first appear on TV?

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-'80s.

-In Divide and Conquer, who was so severely damaged in a battle

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that the Autobots travelled to Cybertron to get a new Cosmitron to repair him?

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-Optimus Prime.

-Which evil scientist creates a hypnotic chip implant

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that overwrites an individual's will and reduces them to slaves?

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-Dr Arkeville.

-I could do with one of those.

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In More Than Meets The Eye Day 1, which Decepticon remains behind

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on Cybertron on the orders of Megatron?

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-Shockwave.

-Which Decepticon attempts to seize power from Megatron

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as their space cruiser is leaving Earth in More Than Meets The Eye Part 3?

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-Starscream.

-Which intergalactic transport system

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do the Decepticons establish between Earth and Cybertron?

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-Space Bridge.

-In A Plague of Insecticons,

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where do the Decepticons and Insecticons attempt to re-energise

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before they are attacked by the Autobots?

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What?

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LAUGHTER

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I'm not doing it again!

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You'll have to guess. Take a guess!

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-Uh...

-That'll do. An oil refinery.

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Which of the Autobots acts as the medic to the other robots

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by transforming into an ambulance in which they are placed for repairs?

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-Ratchet.

-Who is the leader of the Constructicons who steal energy discs

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and bring them to Megatron in Heavy Metal War?

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-Scrapper.

-When Starscream goes with Dr Arkeville to his secret laboratory,

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what code words are used to open the door?

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-Oh, um... Open sesame.

-Yes!

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In Transport To Oblivion, what is the maximum time

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the Space Bridge to Cybertron will be operable for?

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-Oh, it's in astroseconds...

-It's 11 minutes.

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Which of the Dinobots is saved by Optimus Prime when the meteorite explodes?

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-Grimlock.

-In Ultimate Doom: Search, Dr Arkeville's mind control implants

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are overridden by which device causing him to create more slaves?

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Oh, um... God! I know it!

0:12:180:12:21

-You do. Tell me.

-Soundwave uses it!

-Yes.

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It's his special power!

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Oh! The...

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-The thing interrupter.

-Yes.

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-BEEP BEEP BEEP

-No.

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LAUGHTER

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-It's the audio disruptor. But you were ever so close.

-Thanks.

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Has everybody in that thing got to have a "con" after their name?

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Yeah. I enjoyed hearing you say all those names.

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Thanks for making me. I appreciate it. Anyway, I regret to say

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-that you got quite a good score. 10 points.

-APPLAUSE

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So that's the first round done. Let's look at the scores.

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In fourth place with nine points, Imran Yusuf.

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Third place, 10 points, Jarred Christmas.

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Second place, 14 points, Karen Taylor.

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In the lead with 18 points, Russell Kane.

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APPLAUSE

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So it is the General Knowledge Round now. Let's get on with it.

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Imran needs to join us again if he would, please.

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Mm, mm, mm.

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-How tall are you?

-Six foot two.

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You look about six foot nine.

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-It's because of...my diet.

-That's what it'll be.

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-Now why Jackie Chan?

-Because he's my hero.

-Why?

-Why?

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Because he's a true story of an underdog.

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A guy who came from nothing and made it massive in Asia,

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which is what I want to be.

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-You want to be massive in Asia?

-Yes.

-What about this country?

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I'll come here next.

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This show is being broadcast in Britain.

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I need to speak to my agent, I think.

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I thought this was the Jackie Chan Quiz Show!

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I saw my first Jackie Chan film when I was eight years old.

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I rented it from a video shop. It was Armour Of God.

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I thought, "This is what I want to do when I grow up." And look at me now!

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You did very well, nine points, which is normally a good score

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but you're up against some amazing talents.

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-People have done their homework.

-People have done their homework.

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-We're now going to do general knowledge.

-Wicked.

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Wicked. Let's see how we get on. Two minutes.

0:14:290:14:32

The deerstalker hat is traditionally associated with which fictional detective?

0:14:320:14:36

Sherlock Holmes.

0:14:360:14:37

Which boat is used on the canals of Venice

0:14:370:14:40

and is in the paintings of Carpaccio from the late 15th century?

0:14:400:14:43

The gondola?

0:14:430:14:45

The interchange on the M6 at Gravelly Hill near Birmingham

0:14:450:14:48

is known by what nickname because of its flyovers and underpasses?

0:14:480:14:51

-Jean-Claude Van Damme.

-Close! Spaghetti Junction.

0:14:510:14:54

Who was dropped as a judge from the American X Factor in May 2011,

0:14:540:14:58

because Americans couldn't understand her accent?

0:14:580:15:01

NEWCASTLE ACCENT: Cheryl Cole.

0:15:010:15:03

Which desert animal has been described as a horse designed by a committee?

0:15:030:15:07

-Pass? Is that a pass?

-Pass.

0:15:100:15:13

In the film When Harry Met Sally,

0:15:130:15:15

which actress's fake orgasm causes a diner to say, "I'll have what she's having"?

0:15:150:15:19

Meg Ryan.

0:15:190:15:20

Which colour gave Coldplay a number four UK hit single in July 2000?

0:15:200:15:25

Pick a colour, any colour.

0:15:260:15:28

-Blue.

-No, yellow.

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Whose exhibition Love Is What You Want

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opened at the Hayward Gallery in the Southbank Centre in May 2011?

0:15:310:15:35

-Picasso.

-Close. Tracey Emin.

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Which Yorkshire cheese had a huge rise in sales thanks to Wallace and Gromit?

0:15:380:15:43

Cheddar.

0:15:430:15:44

-Wensleydale.

-Argh!

0:15:440:15:46

Near which city in Florida did the Walt Disney World theme park open in 1971?

0:15:460:15:51

Orlando.

0:15:510:15:52

Which musical with music by Sir Elton John is based on a film

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about a boy from a mining background who wants to be a ballet dancer?

0:15:560:15:59

Ooh, Billy Elliot.

0:15:590:16:00

What must someone have to become a member of the Handlebar Club?

0:16:000:16:04

-A handlebar moustache.

-That'll do it.

0:16:040:16:06

Which Iowa-born author best known for travel books

0:16:060:16:09

wrote At Home - A Short History Of Private Life in 2010?

0:16:090:16:12

Oh...pass.

0:16:120:16:15

According to legend which Anglo-Saxon King was severely told off

0:16:150:16:18

by a peasant's wife for allowing her cakes to burn

0:16:180:16:21

while he was hiding from the Danes in her hut?

0:16:210:16:23

-Jean-Claude Van Damme.

-You're wrong, sadly. Alfred The Great.

0:16:230:16:27

What word for an animated corpse was originally the name of a snake god

0:16:270:16:32

in Haitian and West African Voodoo culture?

0:16:320:16:34

It wasn't Jean-Claude Van Damme, in case you were going to offer that one.

0:16:340:16:38

-Zombie.

-Correct. You had two passes.

0:16:380:16:41

Bill Bryson was the author, born in Iowa.

0:16:410:16:44

And a horse designed by a committee is otherwise known as a camel.

0:16:440:16:48

You now have a total of 17 points.

0:16:480:16:51

APPLAUSE

0:16:510:16:53

And Jarred Christmas, come and join us again, please.

0:16:590:17:03

-Yeah.

-Yeah!

0:17:060:17:07

I'm not going to ask you why the Constructors or whatever...

0:17:070:17:10

-Constructicons.

-I wasn't going to...

0:17:100:17:13

Five Transformers join to create a Devastator.

0:17:130:17:16

I didn't really want to know.

0:17:160:17:18

-Could come up in a pub quiz.

-You never know!

0:17:180:17:21

-That's your real name, Christmas?

-Yes.

-And are you a father?

0:17:210:17:25

I am a father. I see where this is going.

0:17:250:17:28

You can, can't you? You're sharp like that.

0:17:280:17:31

I've taken it my whole life, John. I didn't come on Mastermind to get picked on, all right?

0:17:310:17:36

LAUGHTER

0:17:360:17:37

Say something nice.

0:17:370:17:38

LAUGHTER

0:17:380:17:40

-Um, I like your shoes.

-Thanks, mate.

0:17:400:17:43

-Can we lift them so we can look at them?

-There we go. They're bronze.

0:17:430:17:48

That's because I'm aiming for third place.

0:17:480:17:51

LAUGHTER

0:17:510:17:54

So far, you're on course!

0:17:540:17:58

All right, you've got 10 points.

0:17:580:18:01

-And we'll see if you make it to third place.

-Just do it, man!

0:18:010:18:06

Don't worry about it. It's only a game, remember that.

0:18:060:18:09

Ha!

0:18:090:18:11

General Knowledge, here we go. Two minutes.

0:18:110:18:14

Scaramouche, Beelzebub and Galileo were mentioned in which pop song by Queen?

0:18:140:18:18

Bohemian Rhapsody.

0:18:180:18:20

On which street are Big Bird and Oscar The Grouch?

0:18:200:18:22

Sesame Street.

0:18:220:18:23

In May 2004 which comedian's gravestone was finally engraved in Gaelic

0:18:230:18:27

with his preferred epitaph, 'I told you I was ill'?

0:18:270:18:31

-Bob Monkhouse.

-Spike Milligan.

0:18:310:18:33

In which Latin American dance of African origin

0:18:330:18:35

do people form a snakelike chain and march in a 1-2-3-kick pattern?

0:18:350:18:39

-Oh, what is it? The conga line.

-Yes.

0:18:390:18:42

In pantomime what name is given to the leading male role,

0:18:420:18:45

traditionally played by a woman in tights?

0:18:450:18:48

-Out of work actor.

-Could be but principal boy is what I have here.

0:18:480:18:52

Which region of Italy is referred to as Chianti-Shire

0:18:520:18:55

because of its popularity with middle-class English holidaymakers and expats?

0:18:550:18:59

Bologna?

0:18:590:19:00

Tuscany. What was made by the Ancient Greek carpenter Epeius

0:19:000:19:04

that ultimately led to the destruction of Troy?

0:19:040:19:06

The wooden horse.

0:19:060:19:08

In which 1979 film does the hero's mother say

0:19:080:19:11

"He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!"

0:19:110:19:14

Life Of Brian.

0:19:140:19:15

In 2004 which song did the family of Johnny Cash

0:19:150:19:18

stop from being used in an advert for a haemorrhoid relief cream? This is true.

0:19:180:19:22

-Ring Of Fire.

-Yes. I wish we hadn't had that question.

0:19:220:19:26

Which chef has children called Poppy Honey Rosie,

0:19:260:19:29

Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow and Buddy Bear Maurice?

0:19:290:19:33

-Um, Jamie Oliver?

-Yes.

0:19:330:19:36

In the English version of Tintin,

0:19:360:19:38

what is the name of the hero's faithful white fox terrier?

0:19:380:19:41

Oh, um, Snoopy.

0:19:410:19:43

Snowy. What would you grind in your sleep if you suffered from bruxism?

0:19:430:19:48

-Teeth?

-Yes. In Cockney rhyming slang which singer's name is used for a curry?

0:19:480:19:52

Oh, Beyonce, innit?

0:19:520:19:54

No, it's not. It's Ruby Murray.

0:19:540:19:57

Which former boxer when describing his fight against Earnie Shavers said,

0:19:570:20:01

"He hit me so hard my kinsfolk in Africa shook"?

0:20:010:20:05

Muhammad Ali.

0:20:050:20:06

Of which Devon city was Francis Drake made mayor in 1581?

0:20:060:20:10

Exeter.

0:20:100:20:12

Plymouth. The computer that draws Premium Bond winners

0:20:120:20:15

-is known by what acronym?

-BEEP

0:20:150:20:17

-Um...

-It's not fair because you're from New Zealand.

-I know!

0:20:170:20:20

-Next question. Next question!

-We've run out of time.

0:20:200:20:23

-Can I have a guess?

-Yes.

0:20:230:20:26

Um, computer. Er, HAL?

0:20:260:20:31

-No.

-It's 2001 Space Odyssey. It was worth a shot.

0:20:310:20:37

-It wasn't.

-I've enjoyed this.

-Good.

-I'm happy to be here.

0:20:370:20:40

-It was ERNIE, by the way.

-ERNIE! Aiming for bronze.

0:20:400:20:43

LAUGHTER

0:20:430:20:45

Well, 19 points. It's possible.

0:20:450:20:49

APPLAUSE

0:20:490:20:51

And now Karen again, please.

0:20:550:20:57

Yes, you've got 14 points already so you're well on the way.

0:20:570:21:03

You describe yourself as a comedian, an actress.

0:21:030:21:06

-What's the most hard work?

-Definitely stand-up.

0:21:060:21:09

I haven't done it for 10 years. No-one does your hair or make-up.

0:21:090:21:13

You've got to get there. Nine people look at you, not laughing.

0:21:130:21:17

-It's not very nice.

-No.

-Don't do it, John.

-I wasn't planning on.

0:21:170:21:22

Too late for a change in career anyway.

0:21:220:21:24

-You're very funny. Look at that face.

-I'm not meant to be!

0:21:240:21:28

LAUGHTER

0:21:280:21:30

-I'm meant to be very serious.

-Sorry.

-That's quite all right.

0:21:300:21:33

So being an actor, you've got great teams of people ministering to your every need.

0:21:330:21:39

-Caravans of servants and people just looking after you.

-Yes.

0:21:390:21:43

-Several people doing everything.

-None of that's true, is it?

-No!

0:21:430:21:48

-Let's get on with the serious bit. This is a serious programme.

-I don't like this.

0:21:480:21:52

14 points so far. General Knowledge coming up. Tough stuff.

0:21:520:21:57

Cockney rhyming slang, what are you doing if you are having a giraffe?

0:21:570:22:00

Laugh.

0:22:000:22:01

Colin Firth came to public attention when he played

0:22:010:22:04

which part in the 1995 adaptation of Pride And Prejudice?

0:22:040:22:07

Mr Darcy.

0:22:070:22:08

Charles de Gaulle said of France,

0:22:080:22:10

"How can you govern a country that has 246 varieties of..."?

0:22:100:22:14

Cheese.

0:22:140:22:15

What name is given to the cavity surrounding a hair root?

0:22:150:22:18

Follicle.

0:22:180:22:19

Comedy Dave is the sidekick of which Radio One presenter?

0:22:190:22:23

Comedy Dave. Oh, that... I nearly swore! Chris fat person.

0:22:230:22:29

That'll do. Chris Moyles.

0:22:290:22:31

The businessman James Goldsmith once said,

0:22:310:22:33

"A man who marries his mistress creates..." What?

0:22:330:22:36

Can you say that again?

0:22:360:22:37

James Goldsmith once said, "A man who marries his mistress creates..."

0:22:370:22:41

-A wife?

-A job vacancy.

-Oh.

-He thought it was funny.

0:22:410:22:45

Members of which London club named after an 18th-century actor

0:22:450:22:49

wear a salmon pink and cucumber striped tie?

0:22:490:22:52

-Groucho Club.

-Close. The Garrick.

0:22:520:22:55

Which American city's luxury hotels include

0:22:550:22:57

The Bellagio, Caesar's Palace and The Venetian?

0:22:570:23:00

-Los Angeles?

-Las Vegas, you were close.

0:23:000:23:02

What term was used in the early 70s by Women's Wear Daily to describe

0:23:020:23:06

the shorts that were the height of women's fashion?

0:23:060:23:09

Hotpants.

0:23:090:23:10

Which stage and film musical features the song You've Got To Pick A Pocket Or Two?

0:23:100:23:14

Oliver!

0:23:140:23:15

What type of bicycle did Boris Johnson

0:23:150:23:17

give to William and Kate as a wedding present?

0:23:170:23:19

One of those Boris bikes?

0:23:190:23:22

-No, a tandem.

-It might have been funny if it was a Boris bike.

0:23:220:23:26

In July a piece of art in Bristol called Gorilla In A Pink Mask

0:23:260:23:29

was painted over when the building it was on

0:23:290:23:32

was turned into a cultural centre. Which artist created that piece?

0:23:320:23:36

Banksy.

0:23:360:23:37

The works of which American thriller writer include

0:23:370:23:40

Kiss The Girls and Along Came A Spider featuring criminal psychologist Alex Cross?

0:23:400:23:45

-Stephen King.

-James Patterson.

0:23:450:23:48

What name is used for a man that turns into a wolf at night,

0:23:480:23:51

sometimes under the influence of a full moon?

0:23:510:23:54

Hugh Jackman.

0:23:540:23:56

LAUGHTER

0:23:560:23:57

-That's better than the answer I've got, werewolf.

-BEEP

0:23:570:24:01

You now have a total of 22 points.

0:24:010:24:04

APPLAUSE

0:24:040:24:06

And finally Russell Kane, please.

0:24:140:24:17

Don't mess it up!

0:24:170:24:19

18 points already. That's serious Mastermind stuff.

0:24:190:24:23

I'm rubbish at general knowledge so I'm worried.

0:24:230:24:25

We're about to find out. You've been a stand-up for a while.

0:24:250:24:29

-I only left work in 2006. I left my proper job.

-Which was?

0:24:290:24:33

-I worked in a marketing office doing less glamorous stuff.

-Boring?

0:24:330:24:37

Win a flight with this chocolate bar. That was one of mine.

0:24:370:24:41

-Was it? Win a flight?

-Stuff like that.

0:24:410:24:44

Creativity was limited in the stuff I could come up with.

0:24:440:24:47

That's when I started writing stories and I was having no luck. Someone said I should try stand-up.

0:24:470:24:52

I knew nothing about it, so I did it for a dare like a bungee jump and I fell into it, really.

0:24:520:24:57

I wasn't interested in it.

0:24:570:24:59

But that first one, when you did it, it must've been horrible?

0:24:590:25:03

Yeah. Three packs of Imodium did nothing. Let's just say that.

0:25:030:25:07

My hands were shaking, but there was just a laugh in the middle

0:25:070:25:10

and it was like being shot with some sort of emotional drug or something.

0:25:100:25:14

I thought, "That felt weird" and inside me, I didn't know,

0:25:140:25:17

was this little narcissistic, egocentric, attention-seeking gremlin

0:25:170:25:22

and it likes to come out to play three times a week now. Minimum.

0:25:220:25:25

Then I started to think about my father, and it was...

0:25:250:25:28

LAUGHTER

0:25:280:25:30

Right. You got 18 points, which is extraordinary for the first round

0:25:320:25:36

in any Mastermind, but let's see how you do with your general knowledge. Here we go, starting now.

0:25:360:25:41

Which sandwich filling is often known as a BLT?

0:25:410:25:43

Bacon lettuce and tomato.

0:25:430:25:45

Yes. In 2005, Peter Kay topped the UK charts

0:25:450:25:47

with which Tony Christie hit for Comic Relief?

0:25:470:25:50

The video featured Ronnie Corbett, among others.

0:25:500:25:53

The Road To Amarillo?

0:25:530:25:54

Yes. Who or what is Larry,

0:25:540:25:56

who was brought into 10 Downing Street

0:25:560:25:58

-in February 2011 to deal with the rodent problem?

-A cat.

0:25:580:26:01

Yes. At which theatre is the Royal Variety Performance held

0:26:010:26:04

when it is staged in London?

0:26:040:26:05

-Royal Albert Hall?

-The London Palladium!

0:26:050:26:07

What was Gladys Knight's backing group?

0:26:070:26:09

The Pips?

0:26:090:26:11

Yep. Which German rye bread has a name

0:26:110:26:13

thought to originally mean lout or stinker

0:26:130:26:15

-because of it's notoriety for causing flatulence?

-Pass.

0:26:150:26:18

Jack Dee succeeded Humphrey Lyttelton

0:26:180:26:21

as the permanent presenter

0:26:210:26:22

-of which Radio 4 game show?

-I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue?

0:26:220:26:25

Yeah, but tell me anyway.

0:26:250:26:27

Which firework also known as a pinwheel

0:26:270:26:30

rotates while burning?

0:26:300:26:31

Catherine wheel.

0:26:310:26:32

What's the name

0:26:320:26:33

for the distortion of the outer ear,

0:26:330:26:35

found in rugby players, boxers and wrestlers?

0:26:350:26:37

Cauliflower ear.

0:26:370:26:39

Which political party's senior officials and election candidates

0:26:390:26:42

have included Baron von Thunderclap and Mr RU Serious?

0:26:420:26:45

The Monster Raving Loony Party?

0:26:450:26:48

Which children's Viking tale features Eskimo bride Nooka, the Mighty Thor Nogson,

0:26:480:26:52

Olaf the Lofty and a weird bird called a Graculus?

0:26:520:26:56

-Asterix.

-Close. Noggin the Nog.

0:26:560:26:59

What name is given to the large number of islands

0:26:590:27:01

and islets off the west coast of Scotland,

0:27:010:27:03

-divided into subgroups known as inner and outer?

-Hebrides.

0:27:030:27:06

Which member of Frank Sinatra's Ratpack said,

0:27:060:27:09

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

0:27:090:27:12

Dean Martin?

0:27:120:27:14

Which monarch received a musical bustle for her Golden Jubilee?

0:27:140:27:17

It played the National Anthem when she sat down.

0:27:170:27:20

Queen Victoria?

0:27:200:27:22

Whose performance in the film Bridesmaids made him the subject of marriage proposals on Twitter?

0:27:220:27:27

Can't remember. Pass.

0:27:270:27:28

Which Manchester United defender retired in February 2011

0:27:280:27:31

after making 602 appearances for the club?

0:27:310:27:36

Rio Ferdinand.

0:27:360:27:37

Gary Neville. Henry Morton Stanley

0:27:370:27:39

has just one entry in the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations.

0:27:390:27:42

It was uttered in Africa in 1871 and it was?

0:27:420:27:45

Kiss me?

0:27:450:27:47

LAUGHTER

0:27:470:27:50

-No. I don't think so.

-I don't know.

0:27:500:27:52

"Dr Livingstone, I presume."

0:27:520:27:54

It wouldn't have sounded quite the same.

0:27:540:27:56

-I was thinking of, "Kiss me, Hardy."

-You had two passes. Chris O'Dowd was in the Bridesmaids

0:27:560:28:02

and that disgusting bread is pumpernickel.

0:28:020:28:04

But look, your score...29 points.

0:28:040:28:09

APPLAUSE

0:28:090:28:11

What a winner. Worthy of the real Mastermind.

0:28:180:28:20

Let's have a look at the scores.

0:28:200:28:23

In fourth place with 17 points, Imran Yusuf.

0:28:230:28:26

Third place, he got his bronze, 19 points, Jarrod Christmas.

0:28:260:28:29

Second place, 22 points, Karen Taylor.

0:28:290:28:31

First place with 29 points, Russell Kane!

0:28:310:28:34

-Well done, mate.

-Argh! He hit me!

0:28:380:28:41

Russell.

0:28:460:28:47

-What about that?

-Thank you very much. Thank you.

0:28:490:28:51

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:510:28:53

So where are you going to put it?

0:28:530:28:55

I'll put it on the shelf, if I can make space.

0:28:550:28:59

LAUGHTER

0:28:590:29:01

With all the other trophies and awards. Well done.

0:29:010:29:05

A noble winner, a worthy winner.

0:29:050:29:08

Do remember, next week on BBC One on Friday - Children In Need.

0:29:080:29:12

Do tune in to watch that, and you can start making donations now

0:29:120:29:16

and here is the address at the bottom of the screen.

0:29:160:29:19

Thanks for watching. Goodnight.

0:29:190:29:21

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:29:470:29:50

E-mail [email protected]

0:29:500:29:53

Four comedians accept the challenge of the famous black chair in a special edition of Britain's toughest quiz, in aid of Children in Need. Russell Kane, Jarred Christmas, Karen Taylor and Imran Yusuf answer questions from John Humphrys on their specialist subjects and general knowledge. The subjects are Fred Dibnah, The Life and Hong Kong films of Jackie Chan, The Life and Novels of Evelyn Waugh, and the Transformers cartoons.