Mastermind Special BBC Children in Need


Mastermind Special

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Four celebrities who claim to know everything

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about their specialist subject.

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But can they cut it, on television's toughest quiz?

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They've agreed to put themselves in the hot seat

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in aid of Children In Need.

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But only one person can be the winner.

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Who will be crowned tonight's

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Mastermind for Children In Need?

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In the spotlight tonight, Karen Taylor, who has high hopes

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for her subject, the much-loved steeplejack Fred Dibnah.

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Next, Imran Yusuf, and the Hong Kong films of kung fu king Jackie Chan.

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A rather more scholarly offering for Russell Kane, Evelyn Waugh.

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And Jarryd Christmas, who answers questions

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on the children's cartoon series, Transformers.

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APPLAUSE

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Hello, I'm John Humphrys,

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and welcome to a special edition of Mastermind.

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Tonight, we bring you a light-hearted show,

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but all in a good cause.

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Here, to test their nerves and knowledge,

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are four brave comedy talents.

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More accustomed to making us laugh,

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they've agreed to take their place in the infamous black chair,

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in aid of Children In Need.

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But, we won't be giving them an easy ride because of that.

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They will still need to exercise their intellects

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in our two vigorous question and answer rounds.

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The usual rules apply, two minutes on their chosen subject,

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and two minutes on general knowledge.

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All the contenders have given up their time for free,

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so, if you would also like to donate, please log on to:

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The winner does walk away with something,

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our unique Pudsey trophy, but who will it be tonight?

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We'll soon find out, and let me ask our first contender to join us.

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And your name is...

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your occupation...

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and your specialist subject...

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Fred Dibnah, in two minutes, starting now.

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In which Lancashire town was Fred Dibnah born in 1938?

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Bolton.

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Fred's home was a Victorian building designed for what?

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Mill?

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A gatehouse. On which building was he working

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when he made his first television appearance on look North West in 1978?

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Bolton Parish Church.

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Bolton Town Hall, close! Fred's technical drawing

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became a feature of his television programmes,

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after drawing which cathedral?

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St Paul's Cathedral.

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Fred's Aveling and Porter steam roller,

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was originally named what after his first wife?

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-Alison.

-Yes.

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After formal education, Fred was given

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an apprenticeship by Bill Rawlinson, in which occupation?

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Joiner.

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Where did he take first wife Alison and their daughters

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on holiday, although he spent much of his time

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repairing a chimney there?

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Blackpool.

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A teenage Fred attached two items

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to the top of a tall chimney for a bet, and the prank

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blamed on students. What were the items?

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Union Jacks?

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Which catchphrase associated with Fred,

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followed "It's done for", after he felled his first chimney?

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Do you like that?

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Born to second wife Susan, Fred's two sons are Jack and...

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Roger.

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Which of Fred's projects in his own backyard,

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was documented in the 2004 programme Dig With Dibnah?

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Sinking a mineshaft.

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Fred was a one-man band, but he did have

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one long-serving assistant on the ground. Who was he?

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Don Paiton.

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When he did his national service in Germany,

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to what was he assigned before looking after

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the regiment's buildings?

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Catering.

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Fred's early career was helped by a chance meeting

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with former art teacher Lonsdale Bonner,

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who, according to Fred, "talked posh".

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What fee did Bonner receive for every job he got Fred?

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£10.

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What part of a factory did he accidentally demolish

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with falling bricks in a rare mishap?

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Workshop?

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Blacksmith's shop. Which award did Fred

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receive from the Queen in July 2004,

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which he followed with a tour of London on his steam tractor?

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MBE.

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What did he make for the church..

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BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

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..where his son was christened in 1987?

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A weather cock?

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Correct!

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You had no passes, Karen, you've got 14 points.

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Thanks!

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And our next contender, please.

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KAREN URGES: Go on!

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AUDIENCE LAUGHS

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And your name is.

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Your occupation.

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And your chosen subject.

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Jackie Chan in two minutes.

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Born in 1954, what was his birth name which means born in Hong Kong?

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-Chan Kong-sang.

-At the beginning of Operation Condor,

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Jackie escapes from what fate after drinking the cave tribe's holy water?

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-Being killed by them.

-Having to marry the obese princess.

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The out-takes shown at the end of a 1981 film impressed him so much

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he began to use the same device in his own films. What was it?

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-Can you repeat the question?

-The out-takes shown at the end of which 1981 film

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impressed him so much he began to use it in his own films.

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What was it?

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-Bloopers when stunts went wrong.

-The Cannonball Run.

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In Dragons Forever, Betty says she isn't bothered about

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a man's looks but she hates a what?

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-Snob.

-She might but a potbelly is the answer.

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The stunt mishap that nearly killed Jackie leaving him with a hole in his skull

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took place during the making of which film?

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Armour of God.

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What drink is advertised on the side of the double-decker bus

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Jackie's character clings to at the beginning of Police Story?

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-Pepsi.

-Lemon tea.

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When questioned about his beliefs in Armour of God,

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the Hawk says he believes in a very powerful god

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that provides him with his food and lodgings. What is it?

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-Money.

-What is the name of the kick-boxing champion

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who performs a spin kick during his fight with Jackie at the end of Wheels on Meals

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that extinguishes a row of candles on a table?

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Benny "The Jet" Urquidez.

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In Operation Condor, what does Jackie use to get down the mountain

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after he has escaped from the cave tribe?

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A big inflatable plastic balloon ball thing.

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A zorb, yes.

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While a pupil at the China drama academy,

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Jackie was chosen to be part of which opera troupe?

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Seven Little Fortunes.

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In Police Story, how many times does Jackie's character get his birthday cake

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shoved in his face after a misunderstanding at his apartment?

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-Three times.

-What is the name of the co-star in Police Story 3: Super Cop

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who performs the memorable motorbike stunt at the end of the film?

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-Michelle Yeoh.

-In Dragons Forever,

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the trial is adjourned after the expert witness is ordered by the judge

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to answer what question put to her by Jackie, the defence lawyer?

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-Do you love me?

-No. I mean, I don't love you but the answer is correct.

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You have a total, Imran, of nine points.

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APPLAUSE

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Our next contender, please.

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And your name is.

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Your occupation.

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Your chosen subject.

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Evelyn Waugh in two minutes, starting now.

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Which university did Waugh attend from January 1922,

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he left without a degree and a lot of debt?

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-Oxford.

-What title was given to the trilogy comprising Officers and Gentlemen,

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Men at Arms and Unconditional Surrender

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when it was published as a single volume in 1965?

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The Sword of Honour.

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Which novel about a middle-aged Catholic author first published in 1957

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is a fictionalised account of the nervous breakdown Waugh had on board a ship?

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The Ordeal of Gilbert Pinfold.

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How were Waugh and his first wife known to their friends because of their first names?

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-He-Evelyn and She-Evelyn.

-Which Oxford club, probably based on

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the real-life Bullingdon Club is holding its raucous

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and destructive annual dinner at the beginning of Decline and Fall?

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-Bollinger Club.

-In which novel does the Oxford-educated Emperor Seth

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try to modernise his country, the fictional African island of Azania?

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Black Mischief.

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In Brideshead Revisited, what does Sebastian Flyte call his teddy bear?

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-Aloysius.

-The title of which of Waugh's novels

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was taken from a line in TS Eliot's The Waste Land?

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-A Handful of Dust.

-To which village in Somerset

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did Waugh and his family move in 1956?

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-Pixton.

-Combe Florey. In Scoop, William Boot is a nature correspondent

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sent abroad after being mistaken for a war reporter.

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For which national newspaper does he work?

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-The Daily Beast.

-Which novel set

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at the beginning of the Second World War reintroduces characters

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from other works such as Basil Seal from Black Mischief?

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Put Out More Flags.

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In Vile Bodies, Jane Brown invites the remaining guests of Archie Schwert's party

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back to her house. What's her address?

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-Number Ten Downing Street.

-In 1930, Waugh went to which African country to report on

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the coronation of its Emperor? He returned five years later to cover the war with Italy.

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Abyssinia.

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What is the name of the hero of the Sword of Honour trilogy

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whose unhappy experiences in the army are based on Waugh's own?

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-Guy Crouchback.

-Who asked Waugh to accompany him

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on Fitzroy Maclean's military mission to Croatia in 1944

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where they were involved in a plane crash?

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-Sir Randolph Churchill.

-In A Handful of Dust, what's the name of

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the married woman who has an affair with John Beaver?

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-Brenda Last.

-Dennis Barlow works at the Happier Hunting Ground

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pets' funeral parlour in which novel set in California?

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-The Loved One.

-In 1930, Waugh became a member of which Christian church?

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-The Catholic Church.

-In Sword of Honour,

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what's the name of Guy Crouchback's wife who is killed by a doodlebug?

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-Virginia Troy.

-Absolutely.

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What a round, you've got 18 points!

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APPLAUSE

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And our final Contender. Follow that!

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No!

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LAUGHTER

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I'm afraid you've got no choice.

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And your name? Your occupation?

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Another one of them. And your chosen subject?

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LAUGHTER

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Transformers, the early years. Two minutes, starting now.

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The Transformers cartoons features two opposing groups of transforming robots -

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the Decepticons and the Autobots.

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In which decade did it first appear on TV?

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-'80s.

-In Divide and Conquer, who was so severely damaged in a battle

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that the Autobots travelled to Cybertron to get a new Cosmitron to repair him?

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-Optimus Prime.

-Which evil scientist creates a hypnotic chip implant

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that overwrites an individual's will and reduces them to slaves?

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-Dr Arkeville.

-I could do with one of those.

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In More Than Meets The Eye Day 1, which Decepticon remains behind

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on Cybertron on the orders of Megatron?

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-Shockwave.

-Which Decepticon attempts to seize power from Megatron

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as their space cruiser is leaving Earth in More Than Meets The Eye Part 3?

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-Starscream.

-Which intergalactic transport system

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do the Decepticons establish between Earth and Cybertron?

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-Space Bridge.

-In A Plague of Insecticons,

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where do the Decepticons and Insecticons attempt to re-energise

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before they are attacked by the Autobots?

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What?

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LAUGHTER

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I'm not doing it again!

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You'll have to guess. Take a guess!

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-Uh...

-That'll do. An oil refinery.

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Which of the Autobots acts as the medic to the other robots

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by transforming into an ambulance in which they are placed for repairs?

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-Ratchet.

-Who is the leader of the Constructicons who steal energy discs

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and bring them to Megatron in Heavy Metal War?

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-Scrapper.

-When Starscream goes with Dr Arkeville to his secret laboratory,

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what code words are used to open the door?

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-Oh, um... Open sesame.

-Yes!

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In Transport To Oblivion, what is the maximum time

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the Space Bridge to Cybertron will be operable for?

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-Oh, it's in astroseconds...

-It's 11 minutes.

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Which of the Dinobots is saved by Optimus Prime when the meteorite explodes?

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-Grimlock.

-In Ultimate Doom: Search, Dr Arkeville's mind control implants

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are overridden by which device causing him to create more slaves?

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Oh, um... God! I know it!

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-You do. Tell me.

-Soundwave uses it!

-Yes.

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It's his special power!

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Oh! The...

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-The thing interrupter.

-Yes.

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-BEEP BEEP BEEP

-No.

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LAUGHTER

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-It's the audio disruptor. But you were ever so close.

-Thanks.

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Has everybody in that thing got to have a "con" after their name?

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Yeah. I enjoyed hearing you say all those names.

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Thanks for making me. I appreciate it. Anyway, I regret to say

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-that you got quite a good score. 10 points.

-APPLAUSE

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So that's the first round done. Let's look at the scores.

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In fourth place with nine points, Imran Yusuf.

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Third place, 10 points, Jarred Christmas.

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Second place, 14 points, Karen Taylor.

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In the lead with 18 points, Russell Kane.

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APPLAUSE

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So it is the General Knowledge Round now. Let's get on with it.

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Imran needs to join us again if he would, please.

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Mm, mm, mm.

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-How tall are you?

-Six foot two.

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You look about six foot nine.

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-It's because of...my diet.

-That's what it'll be.

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-Now why Jackie Chan?

-Because he's my hero.

-Why?

-Why?

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Because he's a true story of an underdog.

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A guy who came from nothing and made it massive in Asia,

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which is what I want to be.

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-You want to be massive in Asia?

-Yes.

-What about this country?

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I'll come here next.

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This show is being broadcast in Britain.

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I need to speak to my agent, I think.

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I thought this was the Jackie Chan Quiz Show!

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I saw my first Jackie Chan film when I was eight years old.

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I rented it from a video shop. It was Armour Of God.

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I thought, "This is what I want to do when I grow up." And look at me now!

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You did very well, nine points, which is normally a good score

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but you're up against some amazing talents.

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-People have done their homework.

-People have done their homework.

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-We're now going to do general knowledge.

-Wicked.

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Wicked. Let's see how we get on. Two minutes.

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The deerstalker hat is traditionally associated with which fictional detective?

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Sherlock Holmes.

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Which boat is used on the canals of Venice

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and is in the paintings of Carpaccio from the late 15th century?

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The gondola?

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The interchange on the M6 at Gravelly Hill near Birmingham

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is known by what nickname because of its flyovers and underpasses?

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-Jean-Claude Van Damme.

-Close! Spaghetti Junction.

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Who was dropped as a judge from the American X Factor in May 2011,

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because Americans couldn't understand her accent?

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NEWCASTLE ACCENT: Cheryl Cole.

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Which desert animal has been described as a horse designed by a committee?

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-Pass? Is that a pass?

-Pass.

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In the film When Harry Met Sally,

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which actress's fake orgasm causes a diner to say, "I'll have what she's having"?

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Meg Ryan.

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Which colour gave Coldplay a number four UK hit single in July 2000?

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Pick a colour, any colour.

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-Blue.

-No, yellow.

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Whose exhibition Love Is What You Want

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opened at the Hayward Gallery in the Southbank Centre in May 2011?

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-Picasso.

-Close. Tracey Emin.

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Which Yorkshire cheese had a huge rise in sales thanks to Wallace and Gromit?

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Cheddar.

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-Wensleydale.

-Argh!

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Near which city in Florida did the Walt Disney World theme park open in 1971?

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Orlando.

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Which musical with music by Sir Elton John is based on a film

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about a boy from a mining background who wants to be a ballet dancer?

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Ooh, Billy Elliot.

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What must someone have to become a member of the Handlebar Club?

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-A handlebar moustache.

-That'll do it.

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Which Iowa-born author best known for travel books

0:16:060:16:09

wrote At Home - A Short History Of Private Life in 2010?

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Oh...pass.

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According to legend which Anglo-Saxon King was severely told off

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by a peasant's wife for allowing her cakes to burn

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while he was hiding from the Danes in her hut?

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-Jean-Claude Van Damme.

-You're wrong, sadly. Alfred The Great.

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What word for an animated corpse was originally the name of a snake god

0:16:270:16:32

in Haitian and West African Voodoo culture?

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It wasn't Jean-Claude Van Damme, in case you were going to offer that one.

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-Zombie.

-Correct. You had two passes.

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Bill Bryson was the author, born in Iowa.

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And a horse designed by a committee is otherwise known as a camel.

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You now have a total of 17 points.

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APPLAUSE

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And Jarred Christmas, come and join us again, please.

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-Yeah.

-Yeah!

0:17:060:17:07

I'm not going to ask you why the Constructors or whatever...

0:17:070:17:10

-Constructicons.

-I wasn't going to...

0:17:100:17:13

Five Transformers join to create a Devastator.

0:17:130:17:16

I didn't really want to know.

0:17:160:17:18

-Could come up in a pub quiz.

-You never know!

0:17:180:17:21

-That's your real name, Christmas?

-Yes.

-And are you a father?

0:17:210:17:25

I am a father. I see where this is going.

0:17:250:17:28

You can, can't you? You're sharp like that.

0:17:280:17:31

I've taken it my whole life, John. I didn't come on Mastermind to get picked on, all right?

0:17:310:17:36

LAUGHTER

0:17:360:17:37

Say something nice.

0:17:370:17:38

LAUGHTER

0:17:380:17:40

-Um, I like your shoes.

-Thanks, mate.

0:17:400:17:43

-Can we lift them so we can look at them?

-There we go. They're bronze.

0:17:430:17:48

That's because I'm aiming for third place.

0:17:480:17:51

LAUGHTER

0:17:510:17:54

So far, you're on course!

0:17:540:17:58

All right, you've got 10 points.

0:17:580:18:01

-And we'll see if you make it to third place.

-Just do it, man!

0:18:010:18:06

Don't worry about it. It's only a game, remember that.

0:18:060:18:09

Ha!

0:18:090:18:11

General Knowledge, here we go. Two minutes.

0:18:110:18:14

Scaramouche, Beelzebub and Galileo were mentioned in which pop song by Queen?

0:18:140:18:18

Bohemian Rhapsody.

0:18:180:18:20

On which street are Big Bird and Oscar The Grouch?

0:18:200:18:22

Sesame Street.

0:18:220:18:23

In May 2004 which comedian's gravestone was finally engraved in Gaelic

0:18:230:18:27

with his preferred epitaph, 'I told you I was ill'?

0:18:270:18:31

-Bob Monkhouse.

-Spike Milligan.

0:18:310:18:33

In which Latin American dance of African origin

0:18:330:18:35

do people form a snakelike chain and march in a 1-2-3-kick pattern?

0:18:350:18:39

-Oh, what is it? The conga line.

-Yes.

0:18:390:18:42

In pantomime what name is given to the leading male role,

0:18:420:18:45

traditionally played by a woman in tights?

0:18:450:18:48

-Out of work actor.

-Could be but principal boy is what I have here.

0:18:480:18:52

Which region of Italy is referred to as Chianti-Shire

0:18:520:18:55

because of its popularity with middle-class English holidaymakers and expats?

0:18:550:18:59

Bologna?

0:18:590:19:00

Tuscany. What was made by the Ancient Greek carpenter Epeius

0:19:000:19:04

that ultimately led to the destruction of Troy?

0:19:040:19:06

The wooden horse.

0:19:060:19:08

In which 1979 film does the hero's mother say

0:19:080:19:11

"He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!"

0:19:110:19:14

Life Of Brian.

0:19:140:19:15

In 2004 which song did the family of Johnny Cash

0:19:150:19:18

stop from being used in an advert for a haemorrhoid relief cream? This is true.

0:19:180:19:22

-Ring Of Fire.

-Yes. I wish we hadn't had that question.

0:19:220:19:26

Which chef has children called Poppy Honey Rosie,

0:19:260:19:29

Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow and Buddy Bear Maurice?

0:19:290:19:33

-Um, Jamie Oliver?

-Yes.

0:19:330:19:36

In the English version of Tintin,

0:19:360:19:38

what is the name of the hero's faithful white fox terrier?

0:19:380:19:41

Oh, um, Snoopy.

0:19:410:19:43

Snowy. What would you grind in your sleep if you suffered from bruxism?

0:19:430:19:48

-Teeth?

-Yes. In Cockney rhyming slang which singer's name is used for a curry?

0:19:480:19:52

Oh, Beyonce, innit?

0:19:520:19:54

No, it's not. It's Ruby Murray.

0:19:540:19:57

Which former boxer when describing his fight against Earnie Shavers said,

0:19:570:20:01

"He hit me so hard my kinsfolk in Africa shook"?

0:20:010:20:05

Muhammad Ali.

0:20:050:20:06

Of which Devon city was Francis Drake made mayor in 1581?

0:20:060:20:10

Exeter.

0:20:100:20:12

Plymouth. The computer that draws Premium Bond winners

0:20:120:20:15

-is known by what acronym?

-BEEP

0:20:150:20:17

-Um...

-It's not fair because you're from New Zealand.

-I know!

0:20:170:20:20

-Next question. Next question!

-We've run out of time.

0:20:200:20:23

-Can I have a guess?

-Yes.

0:20:230:20:26

Um, computer. Er, HAL?

0:20:260:20:31

-No.

-It's 2001 Space Odyssey. It was worth a shot.

0:20:310:20:37

-It wasn't.

-I've enjoyed this.

-Good.

-I'm happy to be here.

0:20:370:20:40

-It was ERNIE, by the way.

-ERNIE! Aiming for bronze.

0:20:400:20:43

LAUGHTER

0:20:430:20:45

Well, 19 points. It's possible.

0:20:450:20:49

APPLAUSE

0:20:490:20:51

And now Karen again, please.

0:20:550:20:57

Yes, you've got 14 points already so you're well on the way.

0:20:570:21:03

You describe yourself as a comedian, an actress.

0:21:030:21:06

-What's the most hard work?

-Definitely stand-up.

0:21:060:21:09

I haven't done it for 10 years. No-one does your hair or make-up.

0:21:090:21:13

You've got to get there. Nine people look at you, not laughing.

0:21:130:21:17

-It's not very nice.

-No.

-Don't do it, John.

-I wasn't planning on.

0:21:170:21:22

Too late for a change in career anyway.

0:21:220:21:24

-You're very funny. Look at that face.

-I'm not meant to be!

0:21:240:21:28

LAUGHTER

0:21:280:21:30

-I'm meant to be very serious.

-Sorry.

-That's quite all right.

0:21:300:21:33

So being an actor, you've got great teams of people ministering to your every need.

0:21:330:21:39

-Caravans of servants and people just looking after you.

-Yes.

0:21:390:21:43

-Several people doing everything.

-None of that's true, is it?

-No!

0:21:430:21:48

-Let's get on with the serious bit. This is a serious programme.

-I don't like this.

0:21:480:21:52

14 points so far. General Knowledge coming up. Tough stuff.

0:21:520:21:57

Cockney rhyming slang, what are you doing if you are having a giraffe?

0:21:570:22:00

Laugh.

0:22:000:22:01

Colin Firth came to public attention when he played

0:22:010:22:04

which part in the 1995 adaptation of Pride And Prejudice?

0:22:040:22:07

Mr Darcy.

0:22:070:22:08

Charles de Gaulle said of France,

0:22:080:22:10

"How can you govern a country that has 246 varieties of..."?

0:22:100:22:14

Cheese.

0:22:140:22:15

What name is given to the cavity surrounding a hair root?

0:22:150:22:18

Follicle.

0:22:180:22:19

Comedy Dave is the sidekick of which Radio One presenter?

0:22:190:22:23

Comedy Dave. Oh, that... I nearly swore! Chris fat person.

0:22:230:22:29

That'll do. Chris Moyles.

0:22:290:22:31

The businessman James Goldsmith once said,

0:22:310:22:33

"A man who marries his mistress creates..." What?

0:22:330:22:36

Can you say that again?

0:22:360:22:37

James Goldsmith once said, "A man who marries his mistress creates..."

0:22:370:22:41

-A wife?

-A job vacancy.

-Oh.

-He thought it was funny.

0:22:410:22:45

Members of which London club named after an 18th-century actor

0:22:450:22:49

wear a salmon pink and cucumber striped tie?

0:22:490:22:52

-Groucho Club.

-Close. The Garrick.

0:22:520:22:55

Which American city's luxury hotels include

0:22:550:22:57

The Bellagio, Caesar's Palace and The Venetian?

0:22:570:23:00

-Los Angeles?

-Las Vegas, you were close.

0:23:000:23:02

What term was used in the early 70s by Women's Wear Daily to describe

0:23:020:23:06

the shorts that were the height of women's fashion?

0:23:060:23:09

Hotpants.

0:23:090:23:10

Which stage and film musical features the song You've Got To Pick A Pocket Or Two?

0:23:100:23:14

Oliver!

0:23:140:23:15

What type of bicycle did Boris Johnson

0:23:150:23:17

give to William and Kate as a wedding present?

0:23:170:23:19

One of those Boris bikes?

0:23:190:23:22

-No, a tandem.

-It might have been funny if it was a Boris bike.

0:23:220:23:26

In July a piece of art in Bristol called Gorilla In A Pink Mask

0:23:260:23:29

was painted over when the building it was on

0:23:290:23:32

was turned into a cultural centre. Which artist created that piece?

0:23:320:23:36

Banksy.

0:23:360:23:37

The works of which American thriller writer include

0:23:370:23:40

Kiss The Girls and Along Came A Spider featuring criminal psychologist Alex Cross?

0:23:400:23:45

-Stephen King.

-James Patterson.

0:23:450:23:48

What name is used for a man that turns into a wolf at night,

0:23:480:23:51

sometimes under the influence of a full moon?

0:23:510:23:54

Hugh Jackman.

0:23:540:23:56

LAUGHTER

0:23:560:23:57

-That's better than the answer I've got, werewolf.

-BEEP

0:23:570:24:01

You now have a total of 22 points.

0:24:010:24:04

APPLAUSE

0:24:040:24:06

And finally Russell Kane, please.

0:24:140:24:17

Don't mess it up!

0:24:170:24:19

18 points already. That's serious Mastermind stuff.

0:24:190:24:23

I'm rubbish at general knowledge so I'm worried.

0:24:230:24:25

We're about to find out. You've been a stand-up for a while.

0:24:250:24:29

-I only left work in 2006. I left my proper job.

-Which was?

0:24:290:24:33

-I worked in a marketing office doing less glamorous stuff.

-Boring?

0:24:330:24:37

Win a flight with this chocolate bar. That was one of mine.

0:24:370:24:41

-Was it? Win a flight?

-Stuff like that.

0:24:410:24:44

Creativity was limited in the stuff I could come up with.

0:24:440:24:47

That's when I started writing stories and I was having no luck. Someone said I should try stand-up.

0:24:470:24:52

I knew nothing about it, so I did it for a dare like a bungee jump and I fell into it, really.

0:24:520:24:57

I wasn't interested in it.

0:24:570:24:59

But that first one, when you did it, it must've been horrible?

0:24:590:25:03

Yeah. Three packs of Imodium did nothing. Let's just say that.

0:25:030:25:07

My hands were shaking, but there was just a laugh in the middle

0:25:070:25:10

and it was like being shot with some sort of emotional drug or something.

0:25:100:25:14

I thought, "That felt weird" and inside me, I didn't know,

0:25:140:25:17

was this little narcissistic, egocentric, attention-seeking gremlin

0:25:170:25:22

and it likes to come out to play three times a week now. Minimum.

0:25:220:25:25

Then I started to think about my father, and it was...

0:25:250:25:28

LAUGHTER

0:25:280:25:30

Right. You got 18 points, which is extraordinary for the first round

0:25:320:25:36

in any Mastermind, but let's see how you do with your general knowledge. Here we go, starting now.

0:25:360:25:41

Which sandwich filling is often known as a BLT?

0:25:410:25:43

Bacon lettuce and tomato.

0:25:430:25:45

Yes. In 2005, Peter Kay topped the UK charts

0:25:450:25:47

with which Tony Christie hit for Comic Relief?

0:25:470:25:50

The video featured Ronnie Corbett, among others.

0:25:500:25:53

The Road To Amarillo?

0:25:530:25:54

Yes. Who or what is Larry,

0:25:540:25:56

who was brought into 10 Downing Street

0:25:560:25:58

-in February 2011 to deal with the rodent problem?

-A cat.

0:25:580:26:01

Yes. At which theatre is the Royal Variety Performance held

0:26:010:26:04

when it is staged in London?

0:26:040:26:05

-Royal Albert Hall?

-The London Palladium!

0:26:050:26:07

What was Gladys Knight's backing group?

0:26:070:26:09

The Pips?

0:26:090:26:11

Yep. Which German rye bread has a name

0:26:110:26:13

thought to originally mean lout or stinker

0:26:130:26:15

-because of it's notoriety for causing flatulence?

-Pass.

0:26:150:26:18

Jack Dee succeeded Humphrey Lyttelton

0:26:180:26:21

as the permanent presenter

0:26:210:26:22

-of which Radio 4 game show?

-I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue?

0:26:220:26:25

Yeah, but tell me anyway.

0:26:250:26:27

Which firework also known as a pinwheel

0:26:270:26:30

rotates while burning?

0:26:300:26:31

Catherine wheel.

0:26:310:26:32

What's the name

0:26:320:26:33

for the distortion of the outer ear,

0:26:330:26:35

found in rugby players, boxers and wrestlers?

0:26:350:26:37

Cauliflower ear.

0:26:370:26:39

Which political party's senior officials and election candidates

0:26:390:26:42

have included Baron von Thunderclap and Mr RU Serious?

0:26:420:26:45

The Monster Raving Loony Party?

0:26:450:26:48

Which children's Viking tale features Eskimo bride Nooka, the Mighty Thor Nogson,

0:26:480:26:52

Olaf the Lofty and a weird bird called a Graculus?

0:26:520:26:56

-Asterix.

-Close. Noggin the Nog.

0:26:560:26:59

What name is given to the large number of islands

0:26:590:27:01

and islets off the west coast of Scotland,

0:27:010:27:03

-divided into subgroups known as inner and outer?

-Hebrides.

0:27:030:27:06

Which member of Frank Sinatra's Ratpack said,

0:27:060:27:09

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

0:27:090:27:12

Dean Martin?

0:27:120:27:14

Which monarch received a musical bustle for her Golden Jubilee?

0:27:140:27:17

It played the National Anthem when she sat down.

0:27:170:27:20

Queen Victoria?

0:27:200:27:22

Whose performance in the film Bridesmaids made him the subject of marriage proposals on Twitter?

0:27:220:27:27

Can't remember. Pass.

0:27:270:27:28

Which Manchester United defender retired in February 2011

0:27:280:27:31

after making 602 appearances for the club?

0:27:310:27:36

Rio Ferdinand.

0:27:360:27:37

Gary Neville. Henry Morton Stanley

0:27:370:27:39

has just one entry in the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations.

0:27:390:27:42

It was uttered in Africa in 1871 and it was?

0:27:420:27:45

Kiss me?

0:27:450:27:47

LAUGHTER

0:27:470:27:50

-No. I don't think so.

-I don't know.

0:27:500:27:52

"Dr Livingstone, I presume."

0:27:520:27:54

It wouldn't have sounded quite the same.

0:27:540:27:56

-I was thinking of, "Kiss me, Hardy."

-You had two passes. Chris O'Dowd was in the Bridesmaids

0:27:560:28:02

and that disgusting bread is pumpernickel.

0:28:020:28:04

But look, your score...29 points.

0:28:040:28:09

APPLAUSE

0:28:090:28:11

What a winner. Worthy of the real Mastermind.

0:28:180:28:20

Let's have a look at the scores.

0:28:200:28:23

In fourth place with 17 points, Imran Yusuf.

0:28:230:28:26

Third place, he got his bronze, 19 points, Jarrod Christmas.

0:28:260:28:29

Second place, 22 points, Karen Taylor.

0:28:290:28:31

First place with 29 points, Russell Kane!

0:28:310:28:34

-Well done, mate.

-Argh! He hit me!

0:28:380:28:41

Russell.

0:28:460:28:47

-What about that?

-Thank you very much. Thank you.

0:28:490:28:51

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:510:28:53

So where are you going to put it?

0:28:530:28:55

I'll put it on the shelf, if I can make space.

0:28:550:28:59

LAUGHTER

0:28:590:29:01

With all the other trophies and awards. Well done.

0:29:010:29:05

A noble winner, a worthy winner.

0:29:050:29:08

Do remember, next week on BBC One on Friday - Children In Need.

0:29:080:29:12

Do tune in to watch that, and you can start making donations now

0:29:120:29:16

and here is the address at the bottom of the screen.

0:29:160:29:19

Thanks for watching. Goodnight.

0:29:190:29:21

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0:29:470:29:50

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0:29:500:29:53

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