30/08/2010 Great TV Mistakes

Hello, I'm Robert Webb.

Welcome to Great TV Mistakes.

Now, I know what you're saying - "But people in telly don't make mistakes.

"They're all perfect, like you, Rob."

Not true. Everyone makes mistakes.

You just called me Rob, for instance.

And no-one but no-one calls me Rob unless I give them permission. Understand?!

Don't worry. People in telly are just like you.

They mess up. A crew member appears in the back of shot, a prop changes colour,

someone commissions another series of My Family.

Mistakes get made, and that's where we come in.

We find these embarrassing errors and make a show out of them.

Some people might call that schadenfreude. I just call it funny.

Enjoy.

Coming up - mistakes from:

..and many, many more!

To misquote the great Salt-N-Pepa, let's talk about sets.

Set designers do an incredible job, and I hate to spoil the magic of television, but sometimes what

appears to be real is actually made of elaborately painted wood, much like Amanda Holden's face.

This wall behind me, that's not brick, that's papier mache,

expertly knocked together by the Great TV Mistakes set designers.

Trust me, there's nothing we in television can't convincingly recreate.

The inside of the White House, the outside of a spaceship,

even an entire 15th century English village.

Everything, in fact, except Daphne in Frasier's Mancunian accent,

And all of these shocking set-related howlers.

Hey, Magnum's in Friends.

Look at the size of the bloke. They're having to widen the shot just to squeeze him in.

A bit too wide, if you ask me.

That is the edge of the set. Unless there's always been an enormous hole in Joey and Chandler's wall.

In which case, why does everyone still use the door?

Well, we had a table in college.

Filming historical storylines is always a challenge.

Take this episode of Doctor Who, set in Victorian London with Charles Dickens and some zombies.

But forget about them, because that is an electric light switch.

Edison didn't test the first light bulb until nine years after Charles Dickens' death.

If that isn't a mistake, my name isn't Robert Webb.

Which it is.

It's Doctor Who, '70s-style. And problems with the TARDIS have forced him to get these alien builders in.

See the alien builder on the left, keep your eyes on his feet.

D'oh! That's torn it, literally.

Light, too much light!

Yeah, he's got his space boat caught under the Axminster. You idiot.

I know what you're thinking, how's he going to get his foot out from under the carpet?

Pick it up or just kick the carpet out of the way?

And he... Yeah, he just kicks it out of the way. Nice one.

Goddamn alien cowboy builders!

The IT Crowd, and Jen's up on the top floor.

I feel like I'm on top of the world.

Well, the top floor anyway, which is...

Floor 34.

Yes, floor 34.

-OK, where am I going?

-All the way down to the basement.

From floor 34. But, hang on.

That lift's only got 31 buttons, meaning there's only 31 floors.

This doesn't make any sense.

I'm beginning to think these people don't take their pretend lift buttons seriously.

A brilliantly silly sequence from Wonder Woman now, starring

killer ape Gargantua

and this bloke in specs, who kicks off a classic dust-up

by throwing a balsawood coffee table like a massive girl.

Then, after some more "acting", he goes running for the door and that large red emergency button.

Gargantua throws a poorly constructed dummy across the room and, hey, it's a military rozzer.

He tries to press the button, misses is, but it goes off anyway. He's out of the game.

But here comes his mate, who's elderly.

He ignores the emergency button, cos it's not there any more,

and bounces off Gargantua like a septuagenarian pinball.

Yes, there was an error there but I'll be damned if I could spot it.

Here's pathologist turned serial killer, Dexter,

examining a dead body. Now, hold it there.

Time check. 11 minutes past 4.

And play.

Dexter takes a quick shufti at the cadaver.

And hold again. Ooh, it's 4:17.

That little look took six minutes.

Doesn't time fly when you're sniffing at a corpse.

Here's Lucy Lawless as Xena

in the best fighting form of her life, taking on baddie Deiphobus

Go, Xena! She's hard as a rock.

In fact, much harder than a rock.

Especially THAT rock. Boing!

Doing!

Hmm, did they have foam in ancient Greece?

Remember the time that you almost drowned...

Now, I don't want to suggest that they knocked some of these sets up in an afternoon,

cos often they don't have that long, But there is something a bit crap about this clip from Xena,

in which we see a Greek fortress, which history tells us were made of stone.

Stone, that geology tells us isn't known for its wobbly properties.

But look, over he goes, with a wibble and a wobble and a half pipe twist

that gymnastics tells us is an 8.5. I bet you can't do that again.

Wibble wobble, wibble wobble. Oh, he can.

That was the one I was trying to get a look at, not that Australian hayseed.

All's not well at Fawlty Towers, for a change.

Try as he might, Basil just can't get through to wife Sybil, for a change.

She's so annoyed and slams the door, along with half the wall.

That is some very unstable brickwork. Will somebody please call a builder?

And not Mr O'Reilly. Little joke for the fans there.

Just in case you're not one, O'Reilly is Basil's regular builder, very cheap and less than competent.

Look, he's blocked up the door to the dining room, blocked solid.

Well, not entirely.

No one puts up a wobblier wall than Basil Fawlty's builder.

Apart from a BBC set designer.

Sometimes not even a cheap set can ruin a scene, if the scene is a classic.

Basil's trying to catch one of the guests with a girl in his room but he's got the wrong window.

Keep your eyes on the pane of "glass".

It's plastic. And smeary, scratched plastic at that.

All in all, a gold star for BBC comedy and a brown smear for programme finance.

In this clip from Only Fools, Del and Rodney are round at Denzil's,

possibly the only flat in Peckham in worse shape than the Trotters'.

I'll make you wish your mum had had a headache...

When his wife storms out, though, watch what happens to the wall, and the budgie.

Ooh, he didn't see that coming.

Obviously never stayed at Fawlty Towers.

All right then, tonight, I'll be there.

It's Blackadder II, and Queenie and Edmond are staking a wager with Lord Melchett.

Namely, how long can Stephen Fry last before going "Mehhh"?

Watch what happens when Rowan waltzes out and, in his own words, the wall goes wibble.

I know what Stephen Fry would have said if he had seen that.

"Mehhhhh!"

-Where have you been?

-Where haven't I been? Woof!

Blackadder was a studio show, so you'd expect the build quality of the sets to be a bit dodgy.

As we know, that's just part of British sitcom law,

although in the case of these doors,

surely even balsawood would have been a better choice than polystyrene.

Will Smith is living it up in his uncle's mansion, a cardboard mansion.

Boom, shake the room!

I hope that's not a supporting wall.

Did you move my hairdryer?

Over in the city of sex, Miranda's cleaner is about to open her bedside drawer.

Oh, she's found a massive vibrator.

'Magda had discovered Miranda's goody drawer.'

Slam it shut! Got it. Oh, Wait a second, now it's open again. Oh, get a grip, people.

Someone's sloppy, between-takes work just left Miranda's lady toys on show for all to see.

Mind you, who'd fancy that?

Band of Brothers. Here's Captain Nixon looking pretty fed up.

So fed up, he's going to throw a bin through that shop window.

Hold it.

That's a nasty-looking shard of broken glass.

No, don't go through the window, you'll cut yourself on that nasty looking shard of...

Oh, it's all gone. That is a mistake. At ease everyone.

Right, they leave me no choice.

A classic Thunderbirds car chase.

Watch what happens when the baddies' car spins off the road.

Timber!

Either the biggest squirrel in the world is in those trees

or the set guy just ran out of glue.

I think he makes half of it up.

Doctor Who's been on the telly for 47 years and 42 of those have been spent in corridors.

That's because corridors are cheap and impossible to get wrong, mostly.

Freeze the shot.

Notice the sign on the left for Torchwood.

Now, spin forward, and it's Billie's turn to try and fill some airtime.

That's it, Billie, create a bit of tension. Keep the dads watching.

And look at that.

The sign's gone all bigger with loads of added signery that just wasn't there a moment ago.

"Will the set designer please report to base where an arse-kicking is waiting? Thank you."

You think you can kill a cop and get away with it?

Why not? I've done it before.

Star Trek: The Next Generation,

and Captain Picard and Data have got all mixed up with some '30s gangster types on the holodeck.

Meanwhile, outside in the corridor, we can clearly see there's

absolutely no second corridor leading off to the side.

Except when the gangsters step outside, there is.

In space, no-one can hear you scream, "That was rubbish!"

But what I said was a statement of fact.

Now, I won't condone theft, but everyone knows it's traditional

when checking out of a hotel to snatch a towel.

But apparently in deep space it's equally common when being discharged from sick bay, to nick a pillow.

Two pillows in this shot,

one pillow in this.

Don't play the innocent with me, young man.

I know what you're hiding in your space trousers.

-It's not going to work.

-Excellent, John, you're evolving.

Here's one for fans of Lost, assuming there are any left.

In this scene, Locke is required to throw a plastic tray at a stone wall,

but see how the plastic tray makes the stone wall tremble.

Normally, I'd say that was a TV mistake but this is Lost,

so you know, anything's possible. I blame the polar bears.

Hi, just so you know, we didn't mean...

Back to Friends, which was, of course, always filmed in front of

a live studio audience, and a very wobbly set.

Hmm, about as convincing as that bloke's beard.

Merry Christmas!

This is an episode of Friends called The One With The Self-Opening Door.

Oh God, you're the best!

Door closed...

Door open. If that isn't final proof of the existence of the supernatural, I don't know what is.

Ronnie Barker in the excellent Porridge and the inmates of Slade are out

for the day, under the supervision of Mr Barraclough in an old church.

Well, the outside bits were filmed in an old church, but the interiors certainly weren't.

Want proof? Just look what happens when Melvyn leans on a column.

Yes, it wobbles in a way that most Saxon stonework just doesn't,

shaking like Amy Winehouse before the pubs open.

TV is divided into on and off-screen talent. And for good reason.

I'm on-screen talent, because I'm beautiful and incredibly clever.

The camera people, make-up assistants and wardrobe -

flunkies, are off-screen talent, because they're ugly.

Trust me, you do not want to see these people.

I'm facing some of them right now and just looking at them is giving me such violent

stomach cramps it's a wonder I don't vomit all over the camera.

So, hold on to your lunches, cos our first set of clips are

littered with off-screen bods making fleeting on screen appearances.

Not so much in a knowing, ironic, Alfred Hitchcock kind of a way, more a sort of "Oi, bacon-face, shift!"

sort of a way. Eww...

Hey, look, those crafty ancient Greeks are attacking Troy

after sneaking into the city in the belly of the Trojan horse.

There they are, in their rubber helmets.

But, according to this episode of Xena, they weren't alone.

It's your job to fight her first.

Oh no, cos also stowed away in the horse's bumhole was...

This bloke! There he is, squatting on the battlements. You numpty.

Here's Sarah Michelle Gellar walking through a creepy wood late at night

Careful, Buffy, watch out for vampires!

Oh my God, what's that?!

It's a monster with a huge...!

Microphone. Oh dear, it's the boom operator.

Thunderbirds, and ignore this foreign baddie.

Damn those Welsh Iraqi pilots.

Watch Tintin, held in the vice-like grip of this serial killer turned puppeteer.

His nails aren't normally that dirty, he'd just finished burying another body.

So what did you do that made Dad cut you off?

OK, team, no clues.

See if you can spot the mistake in this clip from Friends.

Yeah, but it wasn't for me, it was for a friend.

Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister.

You missed it, didn't you? Forget the pretty actors, look at the pretty cameraman.

It's amazing what you miss when you're laughing. And when you're not.

It's gourmet night at Fawlty Towers and a very funny scene featuring

a fine example of the easily missable TV mistake.

Missed it, didn't you? Here it is again.

This time, forget the action and concentrate on the BBC techie bloke squatting behind the double doors.

A classic mistake from a classic comedy that just got funnier with age.

If only the same could be said for John Cleese.

I mean, look at that!

-Can I help?

-Yes, go and kill yourself!

Sam and Dean from Supernatural are having trouble with a couple of amateur ghost hunters.

Question is, what's behind that door?

Guys, you want to go open that door for us?

Everyone's terrified and armed to the teeth - must be the Jehovah's Witnesses.

It's a ghost, or at least a ghost who can be hurt by bullets.

I can't decide what's worse about this clip, the ghost who's afraid of bullets

or the cameraman who doesn't know where to stand.

Hmm, it's the cameraman.

Its Charmed, the series about a bunch of friendly witches. Or am I thinking of Loose Women?

Anyway, ignore this trespasser and instead feast your eyes on

the director sitting in the next room listening to his iPod.

You're supposed to sit behind the camera, not in front of the pointy end. See that book?

As soon as they turn the camera off, they're going to hit him with that.

Its Doctor Who from 1975, back when children everywhere could

be found hiding behind the sofa, avoiding gaffes like this.

Keep your eyes on the baddie's bottom, or rather what's under it.

-I can move!

-Oh dear.

That floor assistant's thinking "If I move my hand away slowly, no-one will see a thing."

But we did.

Here's Blackadder staging an elaborate con trick, but not the one

where he gets massive laughs from repeatedly saying the world "Bob."

No, he's pretending he's built a time machine.

Of course, it's not real, and you can tell cos it's made of wood

and bits of old junk and requires one of the crew to push the door shut.

Well done, Balders, this is very impressive.

The maybe of Mike Delphino.

It's Desperate Housewives, and Susan's just broken into a neighbour's house

to return a Pyrex jug, but finds time to take a moment alone with just her thoughts for company.

And that bloke crawling behind the sofa.

Yes, it's the guy who just set fire to the curtains,

whose idea of keeping out of shot is crawling across the screen on his hands and knees.

Wait for it. You're... Fired!

Ha-ha! Sorry.

Here's a clip from Scrubs, the American sitcom set in a hospital.

It's a bit like Casualty but with fewer laughs.

Here, Dr Turk is about to bite into a sarnie when all of a sudden, there's an emergency.

Thankfully, someone's there to lend a hand.

That's either a member of the crew holding the door open

or one of the patients has fallen out of bed again.

-Make those dreams happen.

-Yes.

You can always tell when a TV series is working,

cos everyone on screen looks like they're really enjoying themselves.

Take Arrested Development, a show which is obviously so much fun

even the crew like to get on, just once... Boo!

Or twice. Boo!

-An emotional farewell scene in Lost as Charlie says goodbye to Hurley.

-That's uncool, man.

But for once, try to keep your eyes off the unfolding drama and Hurley's boobs,

and on the cameraman clearly visible to the left of shot.

You can see his sandals, his camera and if you really squint, his P45.

Wait!

Its 24, and everything, as always, is very, very tense.

A tense Tony is ignoring a call from a tense Nina.

Come on, Sammy, pick up.

Unbeknown to tense Nina, there's someone else in the barn with her.

And here he comes, wandering in from the right.

A cameraman.

And if you want to know how he's feeling, I'll tell you. Tense.

Jennifer Aniston's fantasising about what it would be like to kiss David Schwimmer.

It's what they call a dream sequence.

-It's what I call a nightmare.

-Wow!

Ignore this bloke, he's part of the story, but who's he?

Remember, we're on a balcony, so who's the levitating fat-arsed numpty with the utility belt?

Yes, it's one of the Friends crew.

Whenever there's a conversation about the world's hardest jobs,

the same professions come up time and time again.

Trauma surgeon, soldier, air traffic controller, and of course, actor.

And out of these jobs, actor is surely the hardest.

Actors do a very difficult job.

If we're not learning lines, then we're signing autographs or doing

stuff for free with wonky kids, we're having to stand up in front

of loads of strangers and say words that sometimes we don't even understand.

Consequently, every now and again, through no fault of our own, stuff does go a bit wrong.

I'm sorry, the party got a little out of hand.

People your age, they have finished college...

Oh, the poor little rich girls of The OC.

Here's Hayley, tidying up after another crazy party.

Well, I say tidying up, but what Amanda Rugetti is actually doing

is picking up tiny pieces of invisible rubbish.

Look, she's dropping little bits of air into that bin bag.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call method acting...

if your method is piss-poor.

You know, this scene was filmed eight years ago

but unsurprisingly, she only finished tidying the room last Thursday.

Oh, we're back in The OC

and here comes Mischa Barton, sulking her way into the room.

"Nuh, nuh, nuh, I'm Mischa Barton."

And she dumps her jacket down on the right, and then moments later,

there it is on the left.

That's not going to improve her mood.

To Albert Square and that live anniversary episode.

And Stace and Bradley are talkin' abaht 'fings with Max and Scott when Scott forgets his lines.

You held the fact from the pl... Look, it's a motive, you've held it against the public...

-Look, we all have...

-Well, I'll explain that.

Oh dear, no retakes here.

This is live.

Oh, he's gone again. Oh, tricky business this live telly.

Bless him. I'd leave it, Scott, it ain't worth it!

It's a classic Phil-Mitchell-in-a-rage scene and Ian's on the receiving end.

But when you want someone to cease doing something, what do you say?

Is it A, stop, or B, slop?

-Slop.

-What?

-Slop.

-I'll give you one more guess.

-Slop.

-I'm sorry, Ian, the answer was looking for was A, stop.

Received and acknowledged, sir. Picard out.

Jean Luc Picard, ever the stern- faced model of professionalism.

Except when he goes through the turbo lift doors and has a quick girn. You missed it, didn't you?

Don't worry, here it is again.

He just boldly girned where no man has girned before.

In this clip from Buffy, fiendish but foxy teacher Miss French is making herself a sandwich.

She's a sucker for fresh ingredients.

I think I have one of those myself from a motorway services.

But there's something very wrong here.

Besides a lady chewing live insects.

Because when she starts eating, her sleeves are up, then she opens the box, her sleeves are down.

And finally, they're back up again.

Add to that the insect sandwich and all the vampire business and you've

got a scene that's more disturbing than Andrew Lloyd Webber's smile.

-More odd goings on in Buffy.

-The werewolf!

A werewolf has gone AWOL and they need to find him/it quickly.

But Giles isn't wearing his glasses.

Oh, he is. Problem solved.

Problem unsolved! And solved again.

I think we're sorted. That werewolf is history. My mistake! The glasses are.

Gray's Anatomy and Patrick Dempsey takes his earphones out cos he's

being talked at by a lady.

-But he pretends he still can't hear her anyway.

-Am I invisible? I'm feeling strangely invisible.

-Also inaudible.

-What?

-And who can blame him, she really is banging on.

-So I guess dinner shopping is out?

-Yeah.

-Might as well wrap the headphones up.

-Sorry.

-No you're not. I'm just trying to figure out why you're not.

And up. A very long wire.

And put them away.

-Yeah, I know.

-D'oh! Hang on, they're still round his neck.

Unless that's his spare set?

Pat, there's only so much Peter Andre a man can listen to.

When it comes to bad dead acting, you'd have to go back a long way to find a poorer example than this.

Centuries back, to be precise. In this clip from Xena, everyone thinks the great warrior princess is dead.

Though quite why is anyone's guess.

Clue one, blood is still coursing through her jugular ten to the dozen.

Clue two, in a moment, she clearly blinks.

And clue three, this is season one.

-There's another five series of this rubbish.

-We've got to get out of here.

Yes, no, no, I did not book this one.

This clip from Arrested Development will delight fans of continuity errors and flowers alike.

There's the vicious and sexy Lindsey, who's just got back with some shopping.

We see her take out this bunch of posies and put them on the counter.

So far so good. Jason Bateman does some talking.

Back to Linds and this enormous vase that she's about to dump the flowers into. When...

They're suddenly back in the bag again.

Yeah, that is a TV mistake and I'll be honest, I'm disappointed by that.

And so's he.

Band of Brothers, and Sergeant Major Schwimmer is furious with one of his soldiers.

Christiansen, why is there no water in your canteen?!

It's not just about the water. Look, this soldier's gun keeps jumping from one shoulder to the other.

There it is on the right.

-And there it is on the left.

-You will repeat all 12 miles...!

And back again. That's dangerous with a loaded weapon.

He was a good man, your father.

Here's Uncle Junior in The Sopranos and he's hopping mad.

He must have lost the remote or worse, forgot to tape Minder.

Whatever, it's made him so angry that his glasses momentarily disappear.

Just don't anyone tell him he accidentally put a red sock in with the whites.

Kate must have a tiny vagina.

Here we are in that city where there's all that sex.

And the girls are in the khazi doing lady things.

Sometimes you just know.

With the right match, its fate.

Sarah Jessica Parker's sorting her hair out.

She's tying it out in a scrunchie, but that's SJP hair, so it'll need special restraints.

So she straps it down twice with the same scrunchie.

But spin on, cos it was all worth it.

Now she looks lovely

and not at all like a Yorkshire terrier with a Croydon facelift. Super.

Oh, look, it's only 10. How nice.

-There's no coffee.

-The Gilmore Girls, and Lorelai is chatting to

Luke as he tries to fix a toaster by shoving a screwdriver into it.

In a minute, he's going to try and fix the waste disposal

by sticking his winkie into it.

See how he goes to get coffee, leaving the screwdriver in the hole,

and when he returns, screwdriver gone.

Oh, there it is by the side of the toaster.

Right, where's that waste disposal?

Here's Sam and here's his brother, Dean.

Ignore the girl. The ghostbusting siblings from Supernatural.

Dean is played by an actor called Jenson - ignore the girl - and Sam by an actor called Jared.

Are we all clear? Dean is played by Jenson and Sam is played by Jared.

How do I know? Well, in this scene, when they're all meant to be acting,

Dean doesn't call Sam "Sam", he calls him Jared.

Jared, check it out.

Yeah, "Jared, check it out.

"I just ballsed up the scene by calling you by your real name."

Yes, more dumbarsery from the Brothers Grimm.

In this scene, they're supposed to be acting all angry cos they've just been outwitted by this lady.

Although, I reckon a pigeon could outwit these two.

Anyway, the script might be calling for fury but all Jared can manage is a poorly concealed snigger.

-Son of a bitch!

-Remember, this was presumably the best take, the one they actually used.

Makes you wonder how bad the others were. He probably weed himself.

Pride and Prejudice, and I've got to say, Jennifer Ehle makes playing the piano look effortless.

Colin's Impressed. He always uses his fingers.

Not Jen, though, her hands and arms are barely moving.

Do you know, I think she's miming.

-I know you find great enjoyment in professing opinions which are not your own.

-And in miming.

Either that or she's just brilliant at playing the piano.

It's the first thing though, isn't it?

Generous of him, is it not?

What do you think about this?

Here's Tasha and Troy, surely two of Star Trek: The Next Generation's least favourite characters.

-It's not for you.

-Tasha is covered in scarves. Fast forward but they're

made from some weird futuristic space fabric which just disappears.

-Never mind.

-Oh, but I do mind.

They're scarves, Jim, but not as we know it.

Before Dexter was Dexter from Dexter,

he was David from Six Feet Under, and if you thought that was confusing, I'd try not to look too

closely at his dance teacher's bag, which is strapped over his left shoulder.

Sometimes. You get the idea.

They don't half have some trouble with bag straps in Six Feet Under, and props in general.

Just watch these two.

So, who do you think plays Parker in the movie of her life?

Sandy Bullock or Julia Roberts?

They both pull their rucksacks on twice and she loses her water bottle.

They're just not taking this camping thing seriously.

-Anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful...

-Back to Friends, and a special guest appearance

by Susan Sarandon, the thinking person's MILF, playing a hard drinking, chain smoking actress.

Ever the pro, Susan manages to cram both into this scene.

Chain smoker.

Hard drinker.

Chain smoker.

I hope my fingers are than nimble when I'm 80.

TV shows are a huge investment of time, money and effort,

but you can spend months and months getting something right,

hiring the very best actors, camera persons, writers and crew,

only to have the whole thing ruined by some extra in the background being a tit.

These people are a menace, wandering in and out of the back of every shot,

trying to be ordinary members of the public, who are the only things worse than extras.

Nothing causes more trouble on set than members of the public.

I hate them all. Apart from you, obviously.

Some classic muscle Mary slow mo running now from legendary

beachfront twaddle merchants Baywatch.

See their toned torsos as they pound along the sand,

see their hair blown by the gentle Pacific breeze,

see the kid in the background pulling a moonie.

That's worth a second look.

Everyone's a critic.

You don't even have to. I'm sure you were pretty freaked out.

Totally.

See this woman with the tartan top?

Now remember her, cos this lady is about to take the art

of the attention seeking TV extra to a whole new dimension.

This is Buffy's high school, of course, and she is presumably the most mature student.

I...think you're the coolest.

There she is again, drawing attention to herself with that big red bag.

Now, spin on. And there she is again, walking in the opposite direction.

No, she's not. She's over there, walking up some stairs,

drawing attention to herself just like those extras aren't supposed to.

Back for more stair climbing, this time without the bag. Clever.

Still going up the stairs.

Mind you, at least we know where she is. No we don't.

Buffy, now she's behind you.

"Right, I've had enough of this," said the director, "Get that woman out of my sight.

"Nobody lets her back on this set."

Whoa, how did that happen?

Crafty cow, she's taken off her horrible tartan jacket and given the red bag to someone else.

Damn you, nightmare tartan extra lady!

Still, the jacket's gone, the bag's gone, and, finally, so is she.

Or not.

Ever get the feeling you're being followed?

In this episode of Buffy, the lovely Eliza Dushku certainly does, and with good reason.

The winners of the 2002 Most American Couple award

walk behind her once, which is fine. Nothing wrong there.

But twice is pushing it.

That's borderline harassment.

Three times is frankly unacceptable.

That's a restraining order right there.

They won't be trying that again... from the same direction.

For Pete's sake, leave lovely Eliza alone!

They'll be hiding in that bush outside her house next, and that's mine.

Sex And The City, a show about four single young women.

Well, three young women and the one who plays Samantha.

But let's rewind and look at those two extras on the left of picture sitting side by side.

Now, spin on and clearly one of them has dropped a massive guff

because next time we see them, they're sitting miles away from each other in separate rows.

Poor Sam. Must have been a pretty serious guff. Someone open a window!

OK, listen everyone, we've got to get out of here.

Back to the doctor, and here, Mickey is attempting to save a room full of headphone wearing children.

But they're all zombiefied.

Mickey must have a background in IT cos he resorts to the tried and tested solution

of just yanking out the plug and hoping for the best.

Magically, it works, and removes the kids' headphones.

And off they go, trudging out of a doomed building smirking.

Good work, kids, you're hired.

This is where I was born.

And this is where I died.

More Doctor Who, and Billie's on the bus in contemplative mood.

The first 19 years of my life, nothing happened.

But keep your eyes on the extra who sits in the row behind her.

Not ever.

Oh, Billie, come on.

Incredible things are happening all around you.

That bloke just jumped back through time and space simply to get a better seat.

Pay attention, girl.

It's the X-Files, and as Mulder and Scully head

out into the car park, what seems to be a perfectly ordinary passer by suddenly disappears.

Where did she go?

Abducted by aliens right in front of Mulder's nose and he's missed it.

The X-Files, and Scully has a mysterious dead body to investigate.

In this case, the mystery is why they chose the most fidgety man in North America to play the corpse.

See how the faintest prod from Scully makes the big wuss blink.

Not so much dead man's body, more big girl's blouse.

But just in case anyone missed that, moments later,

he leaves everyone at home in no doubt that this is just acting as Scully unwisely decides to

balance this heavy plastic ruler on his tummy-wummy. "Ow, it's cold!"

We've got a breather!

I love Lost. It's top-notch allegorical surrealist drama with a satirical subtext.

Plus, it's got that funny fat bloke with a beard in it.

Yeah, he's gone boobs like a lady.

In fact, the only problem with this show is that it makes no sense.

That, and their decision to use an extra with chronic asthma

to play a corpse and then put him in the front of shot.

Just look at this.

Mind you, that fat bloke's funny. Oh dear...

I mean, dogs can find pot and bombs so...

Time for more weird goings on in Lost, and look out for the lovely

couple walking past in the background. There they go.

Probably off to catch some fish.

Wish they'd walk past again. Oh, lovely.

That's the trouble with being marooned on a desert island, nothing to do but walk round in circles.

Oh, brilliant, it's Blackadder.

Oh, crap, it's series one.

Never mind, the set designer, wardrobe and prop departments

have all gone to a lot of trouble with this one.

Sadly, all their hard work is about to be ruined

as one of the extras suddenly stops playing dead, looks up and starts having a bit of a look around.

"Where's that Rowan Atkinson?

"I'm going to get a picture with him later."

This clip from Sex And The City proves that not all New Yorkers are used to seeing TV crews.

This lady simply can't believe her eyes and has to peer over her specs to check they aren't deceiving her.

Yes, it's a camera crew.

But best of all, if we rewind, here comes my personal favourite.

Look at the wonder in her eyes.

"Thems is some telly people."

And so ends one deeply unremarkable woman's brief glimpse of celebrity.

Here's another spot from Friends.

Phoebe is returning a dog.

But look in the background at the neighbour getting out of the car and walking up to her house.

Twice.

Fair play to her, though.

She's got that whole neighbour repeatedly walking up to her house thing down to a tee.

Bad news for 24's Jack Bauer.

His daughter's been kidnapped and the series is suddenly very short staffed.

Look at this hospital orderly.

He's here.

He's there.

He's everywhere.

If you work in this hospital, you have to be in three places at once.

Just like the NHS.

Dawson's Creek. Gretchen's about to have a heart-to-heart with Dawson.

But I'm more concerned with the partner swapping swingers in the background.

Look, first there's an old man and an old woman in a denim jacket.

And a young man in a blue shirt and chinos with a blonde girl.

Then, moments later, the young man with the blue shirt wanders past again with another woman!

He just picked her up! What a floozy. But he's not done yet.

Now, he's back with the blonde girl and they're heading for the water.

What's going on? He must have finished with that other woman and

got back with the first one, which is nice, because I always liked her.

I'm glad they made up.

Shut up, Dawson! Look, the old fella's back with the older woman.

Thank heavens for that.

Aye-aye. There's the younger man with the blonde again, this time

walking away from the water from the right, heading up the hill.

What have they been up to?

I don't know, but I'm betting it was rude and watery.

Now, whenever I'm on the telly, which is a lot, I take great care over my hair and make-up.

That's not vanity. It's necessity.

You see, we need make-up experts to compensate for the "bleaching out" effects

caused by the powerful lights we use,

and hair experts to compensate for the "loss of hair" effects

caused by the powerful hairspray that we use.

The girls and, what might loosely be described as guys of the hair and make-up department

are important, albeit tiny cogs in the great TV wheel.

I call them my little miracle workers.

That's because I enjoy patronising my colleagues.

Of course, they, too, make mistakes.

Mistakes like these.

Someone's locked David Banner in this fiendish Oriental torture contraption. Which he won't like.

It'll send him all green and hulky.

He's so excited he's passed out.

Wow, that's what Vin Diesel would look like if you smeared him in mushy peas.

Oh, he's making that solid carbon steel look like plywood, which it is.

Hold up, he's got tights on!

The Hulk's wearing panty hose to stop his pinkies getting all hurty.

Oh, bless.

It's Skins. Young people doing cool things, like drugs and snogging, and dribbling ketchup down their chins.

Wow, it's so real.

Hey, that ketchup dribble just changed.

-Well, I think you're going to like this, Sid.

-I'm not. He's re dribbled.

Three dribbles, one chin? Something's got to give.

And, sure enough, now it's gone completely.

Now it's back!

Oh, he's dropped his knife.

Now they've started snogging and, look, the old dribble's back again.

Oh, I'm lost. I'm just lost and so is the make up department.

Look, I take it back. That's not cool, it's a TV mistake.

-You're looking, aren't you?

-No.

Straight back to Skins, and look, there's Dev Patel before he won the Slumdog lottery

and he's having a wee up that tree.

In fact, did you know, it was his weeing up a tree acting

that won him the role in the film in the first place?

Of course you didn't, because it's not true.

And neither is this.

Look, the car with the spliffed-up teens rolls into the canal.

And everyone inside goes into the water apart from Dev.

But then, in the next scene, Dev is wet through just like the others. Why is he all wet?

He didn't go in the water, he was weeing up that tree! You know what?

I bet he just jumped in the canal to be one of the gang. Cor, teenagers!

They'll do anything to fit in.

More Skins now, and more wee-wee.

And the age-old conundrum, how do you do a wee with a stiffy?

Here's Chris calculating a combination of angles that

even Ronnie O'Sullivan would struggle with.

And, oh, he wees up his own nose

but when he stands up again, it's all gone.

Now, that is one young man with wonderfully absorbent skin.

In this next clip, pay attention, if you will, to be cute smear of grease on Deborah Messing's cheek.

That just changed into a completely different smear of grease!

-OK, this is not a problem.

-I'll be the judge of that!

Yep, there's another.

Now it's the same mark, just a bit darker.

Guess that's why they call it a "to go" cup.

-You OK?

-And now it's all smudged.

Hey, you know what they should have called this show, don't you?

Will & Grease. Yeah.

-Here's Will from Will & Grace sitting on a sofa.

-Surprise!

He's gay, so he's naked, obviously.

Or is he? Are those flesh coloured pants I see?

Well, they are flesh coloured pants but only if your flesh is a sort of deathly greyish white.

Maybe those pants belong to Amy Winehouse? Oh, God, what a horrible thought.

I think a little bit of sick just came up then.

Although Eric McCormack wasn't really naked in this scene,

I can confirm that he did genuinely slam his penis in that book.

A powerful moment from 24. Sorry, did I say powerful?

I meant incomprehensible.

Mum wants troubled teenager to shoot his already dead girlfriend.

Well, nobody said relationships were easy, especially when one of you's murdered.

But he's not used to handing a gun, so why not let Mum do it?

There you go. Right in the waist.

Oh, here comes Dad and he's so proud.

In their strange fictional foreign culture, shooting

your already dead girlfriend in the belly button is a rite of passage.

Hang on! The bullet wound's moved up to her ribcage. What a brilliant trick.

The reason I'm asking is cos we didn't get the bill.

It's The Sopranos and Tony's turned up for a chat with Uncle Junior, who's been shaving.

Although, as you can see, he's washed all the shaving foam off, apart from that bit near his ear.

-But, spin forward and... whoa!

-You've got shaving cream all over you.

Where in the name of Don Corleone did all that foam come from?

That's what's known in Mafia circles as omerta, which is Italian for "bad continuity error".

Nothing makes temperamental Adriana from The Sopranos more temperamental

than receiving a phone call when she's having her hair done.

-Unless it's two phone calls.

-Adriana, you got a call.

Stay calm, love.

Remember what happens when you really lose your temper.

Yes, your hair falls out.

With the price of the cut and the colour, that just cost her 300.

301 with the tin foil.

Oh, it's Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

So called because half the viewers want to see her in the buffy.

Ak-ak-ak-a!

Here's the slightly lovely Sarah Michelle Gellar facing a hideous ghoul from beyond the grave.

He's been underground for centuries. He's in a pretty bad way.

I mean, just look at the state of those fingernails.

They're so bad, one's practically falling off.

That's because it's a fake!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer's make-up department, I trusted you!

Everybody thinks being a pro is just NBA.

One Tree Hill and Hayley and Skills are having a chat about being from California.

So when y'all roll through on the world tour,

we can remember this day, sit back and laugh about it.

He's a bit annoying. Hayley's very pregnant.

Or is she? That's no baby! That's just a cushion shoved up her top!

Some people will do anything to jump the housing queue.

In this bloodthirsty clip from Heroes, Claire's pony tail is over her shoulder one minute,

and then not the next. A small oversight, admittedly.

But noticeable if you happen to be very bored, borderline OCD and terrified of ponytails.

Which I was when I watched this clip. I'm fine now.

She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

A classic scene from Blackadder II in which Flashheart storms into

Edmund's wedding, steals the bride and the scene.

No-one does upstagery quite like Rik Mayall.

Apart from that fake moustache that's threatening to fall off his face at any moment.

I've got a plan and it's as hot as my pants.

Mmm. Mmm. Of course, a lot of people come up to me and say, "Robert, what is a prop?"

And I say, "I don't know who you are,

"but if you don't get out of my bath I'll shoot you down like a dog."

I'm joking, of course. I don't even own a gun. Or a bath.

As an actor, I don't need to because I live my life surrounded by props.

This lamp. This chair.

This table. Basically, props are just the things we all have in our homes,

except in our case, they really are our property rather than stuff you've got on credit.

Unfortunately, this doesn't make them any less likely to cause trouble.

Band of Brothers and this soldier is looking concerned.

He's seen the next scene.

A stealth raid across a river and an elementary mistake from the soldier in the foreground.

Did you spot it?

Let's go back and have another look.

He's rowing with no oar.

Which, I suppose, will at least make their approach much, much quieter.

But, and I'm no military expert, much, much slower.

Here's Nicholas Hoult as Tony in Skins who's learning how to write.

He's written Tony. He's written his name. Well done, Tony.

Although, if we spin forward...

That doesn't say Tony. It says Tohy.

Let's see the first one again.

And the second one.

Now, both together.

You see, I might be wrong but I think that's a different piece of paper

with the word Tony written by a different person.

The prop's department are trying to make you look stupid, Tony. I mean Tohy.

Hannah Montana, that little singing sensation.

The sensation being nausea.

But get a load of this continuity howler as wacky goofball Jackson walks into his room.

He pats the muscle man standee.

Grabs his towel. And suddenly the muscle man's behind the door.

It's a good thing I straightened up.

But not now. Whoops, Hannah's going to be furious about that.

She'll probably throw a pop sock at the director. A rolled-up one.

To be fair to the makers of 24, they only have one day to make each series.

And that's with no sleep at all.

It's like being a junior doctor, but with a lower body count.

Here's Jack in rare stand-easy mode.

-We're resuming our approach. Good work.

-Cheers, Jack.

Time to sheath that dangerous weapon in your bottom holster.

But, fast forward a few seconds and, crikey, Jack's now so relaxed he's putting his gun away again.

It's either another TV gaffe, or that young man has got two guns hidden in his pants.

If, like me, you're a fan of scenes where actors mistakenly

put their pistols away twice, then you'll love this clip from the soon to be remade Hawaii Five-O.

The team are at a tense siege situation

but nothing gets in the way of Steve McGarrett's tea break.

So, at ease, Lieutenant. You can put your gun back in your holster.

No need for firearms at elevenses.

I wonder if you can use a bucket like that to build sandcastles.

Anyway, here he comes and there goes the gun again.

Back in the holster for a second time. Now, who's brought the thermos?

A tense game of chess in the X-Files

and a moody Russian is taking on an American kid in specs. Text book.

Check mate.

Suddenly, the Russian is shot by an assassin

and falls onto the floor, dragging the chess board with him.

Except in the next shot, it's clearly on the table.

They managed the logistical nightmare of filling this auditorium with about 5,000 people,

but couldn't cope with one bit of elementary prop continuity.

The truth is out there. The incompetence is in here!

Have you ever been to the Louvre?

-No, not yet.

-Bones. A series about forensics.

A branch of medical science that's all about detail. So how come they missed this clanger?

Here's a patronising little girl...

I think what you do is pretty awesome, too...

..who's been diagnosed with clinical smugness.

She's also an agent of TV mistakery.

When she hands over her sketch, it's a small drawing in the centre of the page.

But when the doctor looks at it, it's gone all big! But nobody notices.

The character dies in the end, though, so all's well that ends well.

An ice hockey game and Ross from friends has got one of those big foam fingers.

Of course, this is New York and seconds later, it's gone.

Someone's nicked it. It's a rough town.

My eye doctor is Richard. I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend.

Oh, poor Monica. As if it's not bad enough having something in your eye,

she can't even watch TV because it's all switched off.

Although, moments later...

my mistake! It's on. No-one's even watching it.

That's not very green.

-Hey, can I bum a cigarette?

-Feel those hormones as bad boy meets annoying girl in The OC.

Blimey, they're smoking in California, which is practically a shooting offence.

Luckily, Ryan is smoking one of the special cigarettes,

you know, the ones that burn down to a butt in half a second.

Long ciggy. Tiny ciggy.

To think, I used to love The OC!

Elsewhere in The OC, is Ben going to commit suicide before Ryan and Marissa can get to him?

He's emptying all his pills onto the table.

And mixing them up. But, whoa!

In an instant, they've sorted themselves into colour-coded piles.

Or, at least, an inattentive member of the production team has.

Ben's made up. He's forgotten all about suicide.

He's just going to bung them in with his grandfather's ashes.

Job done.

Oh, dear. After having one or maybe 12 too many tequilas, Marisa, from

The OC, leaves her handbag at the bar. And staggers outside.

Ryan and the others are scouring the streets for her.

But tiddly Marisa is now spark out in this alley, legless, and, of course, bagless.

Then, Ryan and the others turn up.

He spots her and bagless races down the alley and kneels beside her with the bag in his hand.

Either that's a mistake, or everyone in Orange County has the same handbag.

Well, they're a funny lot in California.

Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights and Paddy's payphone is out of order.

You can tell by the sign on the side which says 'out of order'.

But now, the same sign is on top of the phone, which leads me to believe someone might be having a laugh.

At Paddy McGuinness? Surely not.

More continuity malfunctions on the holodeck for Captain Picard.

The 1920s news vendor hands over the paper folded.

But Pickard takes it unfolded.

A small mistake but even in a holographic past, a tiny error like that could have changed the future.

If so, let's hope next time there'll be less Star Trek.

A clip from Heroes now. A strange group of people all with bizarre superpowers.

Watch how these two find a mysterious key that's wrapped in sticky tape.

About half a second later, it's suddenly unwrapped.

He's good super fingers.

No wonder she looks pleased.

I'm their hero.

More prop related cockuppery as Hiro appears with his samurai sword pointing backwards.

And, a moment later, stands with it pointing forwards.

A handy mistake, though.

Otherwise he would have just stabbed him with the blunt end,

and that would almost certainly have been less dramatic.

It's a blueprint.

How does Grace from Will & Grace take her coffee?

Always black. Sometimes with a stick in her hand.

And sometimes with a tiny carton of milk.

But always in a urine sample jar.

And he's obviously very fond of you.

A clip now from madcap sitcom, Absolutely Fabulous.

Or as you know it, Ab Fab.

Or, as I know it, AaFa. But, surely, no-one knows what is going on

with Miranda Richardson's glass.

Witchcraft. Pure and simple.

Back in my day, she'd have got the ducking stool for that.

It's US comedy drama Weeds.

And Nancy's just found out that her late husband was cheating on her.

Yeah, that might not be covered under the contents insurance.

Not much comedy here. This is one of the more drama-y moments.

But see all the stuff on the table?

Watch what happens as her son walks outside.

Yep, it's all gone empty.

I reckon the kid was a decoy. His mates have nicked the lot.

So, actually, that probably will be covered, then.

I suppose I just fall in love too fast.

Here are Niles and Daphne sharing an intimate fireside moment.

According to that carriage clock, the time is 11:15pm.

Only, moments later, we see the clock again and now it's 11:45pm.

And 10:55pm.

And 11:20pm.

And 10:59pm. Frasier is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

At least they were when they started recording this scene four days ago.

You two have proved yourselves to be just as talented as one another at karaoke.

By which, I mean you're equally shit.

It's Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps.

A show which has split the critics into those who hate it, and those who don't like it very much.

But this episode is great because it's all about magazine competitions.

Mind you, if there's one thing I love more than competitions, it's 'competions'.

By the way, that's the new issue of Dyslexic Monthly.

-May as well give up now.

-I would if I were you.

Now, I admit I don't know a lot about How I Met Your Mother.

Other than this guy is called Ted and that when he pays a visit

to a lady, he doesn't bring a bottle, he brings veg.

Wilted veg in a creased-up paper bag. Sexy blighter.

But guess who also carries a steam iron in his Y fronts?

That bag's now suddenly smooth.

Looks like a baby's bottom. A papery baby with vegetables for a head.

-That's the stupidest thing I've ever said.

-Me too.

Of all the classic moments in The Office, this is Ricky Gervais's personal favourite.

-Whassup?

-Don't do that.

-Gareth's holding a briefcase

in his right hand, the paper in his left, but, look!

Now the briefcase is in his left hand, and the paper is in his right!

That's a TV Mistakes Golden Globe right there!

Friends. Series eight.

Sorry, SEASON eight. And Monica starts to tear open this present.

She's finished. It's open.

Sh. The guys don't know yet. Do they?

-No.

-No, she's wrapped it up again.

And opened it again.

And wrapped it up.

And opened it again.

Oh, for God's sake, woman, make your mind up!

Poor Ross has clonked his head, so Rachel is administering a comedy ice pack because she wuvs him.

We ripped that couple apart and kept the pieces for ourselves.

-Wuvs him not.

-What a beautiful story.

Wuvs him. A small error, perhaps, but as rudimentary continuity errors go, that was a blinder.

In TV, we have a special nickname for special effects.

We call them special FX.

Aren't we brilliant? These days, the effects on TV are so special,

they can often leave you, the viewer, wide eyed, slack jawed and dumbstruck, even more than usual.

Yes, thanks to computer technology, the only limit to modern SFX

is the producer's imagination, which is a shame, because

most producers' imaginations are limited to saying, "Hey, why don't we just get Ant and Dec to do it."

and then ordering the sushi. Which sadly means every now and again, the SPECIAL effects are anything but.

A high-speed chase in Knight Rider and Michael is in pursuit of two blokes who have kidnapped a lady.

Oh, she's a terrible back seat driver.

That car is all over the shop. Three drivers, one steering wheel, that's asking for trouble.

Oh, no, no, no, no, leave it.

Sit down, you silly cow! Oh, too late, she's jumped.

Well, somebody did.

-Crazy broad jumped out!

-I'm afraid that was your unconscious female.

No it wasn't, KIT, you're talking out of your tailpipe.

That's her stunt double in an ill-fitting blonde wig.

She's less lookalike and more look nothing like.

Its 24 and look out, the guy in the car is about to get all shooty.

But when he discharges his weapon....

Through the car window, the glass all falls inwards, in defiance of all the laws of physics.

Let's see that again. Take that, Newton.

Look, he's got Stagler.

Here we are, back in that brilliant episode

of Wonder Woman, and Gargantua the Gorilla is making his escape carrying that bloke from Magnum.

But he's made a terrible error.

In the confusion, he's grabbed a poorly constructed dummy instead.

See it flailing in the breeze just like human bodies don't.

Look, his legs have gone all trembly, something, something, Wembley.

That doesn't make any sense, and neither does this episode of Wonder Woman.

Yes, it's high time Lynda Carter twirled into her crime fighting boob tube and hot pants.

Bad news for bad guys, good news for randy 14-year-old boys.

But look how this spectacular metamorphosis also has the power to

change this humble biro into thin air.

Yeah, it's probably just rolled under the desk.

The Doctor again, and this is what I call thrilling stuff.

There again, I'm quite easily thrilled.

Oh, look, the Doctor is climbing up that giant television aerial,

trying to stop Maureen Lipman being transmitted.

You cannot stop the wire. Soon I shall become...

Then, as Dave's a-dangling from the pylon, his foot suddenly disappears.

Here it is, here it isn't.

Yes, the BBC's blue screen is no larger than a tea towel.

Mac and Guy from Green Wing are heading for a very literal end-of-series cliffhanger.

Ever wonder how they do stunts like this? Well, the clues are here

and here. That is a safety harness and that is a dirty great support cable.

Less Italian Job, more bodged job.

OK, no argument, the Hulk has always been incredible.

But on the '70s TV show, the effects were anything but.

Here, a couple of local thugs have unwisely locked David Banner in the steam room.

He gets angry, goes green, and picks them and half the wall up using the strength of 100 men.

Or should that be by making them stand on a hidden trolley

and pushing them back using the strength of three caterpillars.

You decide.

The friends from Friends are on holiday and, oh, dear, it's chucking it down.

But what's worser, their lovely beach house is full of wet sand.

What's with all this sand?

Oh, yeah, Bob said there might be flood damage.

Either that or he has a really big cat.

But now it's dry.

They must have under-sand heating.

A clip from classic Dr Who episode Genesis Of The Daleks,

and keep your eyes on the Dalek chatting with Davros

and the light bulb flashing on his head.

That's how deaf people know that a Dalek is talking, by the way, it's a courtesy thing.

Hold on a sec, his light's gone out.

Maybe he forgot to pay the Da-lecky bill.

But then, between takes, while Davros practises his shouting...

You will obey me!

..there's a chance to unscrew the bulb and pop a new one in.

We are the superior beings.

On with the serious business of mass extermination and sink plunging.

Exterminate!

More from Genesis Of The Daleks now,

and the Thals are about to detonate a bomb using this rickety old plunger.

But even before that happens, some smoke wafts through the doors.

That bomb has either detonated itself, or one of those Daleks is having a crafty fag.

This is X-Files rain, heavy and persistent, like Mulder,

apart for the heavy bit.

Dana and Fox are in hot pursuit of a woman doing some top-notch driving-in-heavy-rain acting.

Moving the steering wheel about, frowning at rain...

and then she hits a cloudy ghost. Bosh!

But when Mulder and Scully pull over seconds later, all the rain has gone. Spooky.

# Da-da-da-doo, da-da-da-doo... Sorry, that's The Twilight Zone, sorry.

-I can see her.

-Michelle!

-Help!

Considering it was made in the '60s, the effects on Thunderbirds are pretty FAB.

Of course, every now and again, they were less than perfect.

Look what happens when the aircraft explodes.

This bit of debris flies off and bounces off the back projection screen. Boing.

For some reason, at that moment in that half-finished foxhole, all I could think about was the 4th July.

Band Of Brothers now, and those German mortars are really doing some damage.

Thank God they're only aiming at the trees. Yeah, Nazis hate trees.

Especially these ones. They're birch trees, they make Nazis furious.

Boom! Take that. Hold on a minute, it did.

A bomb that only causes minimal bark damage. Let's have another look.

Yeah, that must have been a smart bomb.

They only destroy certain trees. If that had been a willow, it would be dead.

A thrilling FX scene from Blake's 7, the doddery senile granddad of the TV sci-fi family.

Once again, the audience at home are on the edge of their seats, getting up to leave the room.

But gasp as the bad guy is sucked into space.

Although, he's not so much being sucked as dangled by that highly visible safety harness.

Wheeee!

Clothes.

Clothes can go seriously wrong.

Just look at Lady Gaga or anyone from Germany.

If there's one department in telly that gets overlooked, it's wardrobe.

It's very rare to see wardrobes taking a leading role,

except in The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, of course.

Though frankly, the lion and the witch got all the best lines.

Consequently, every now and again, the wardrobe department fights back.

It's Henry VII in a scene from rollicking royal soap The Tudors.

Here's Henry's (divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived),

first wife Catherine of Aragon, looking moody, and who can blame her?

Getting a rousing reception from this crowd of 16th century peasants.

Although, for a bunch of proles, they're doing pretty well for themselves, because, look again.

Verily, sire, that's a nice wrist watch.

He made that himself out of straw and bits of the plague.

Lovely Buffy. Not only is she sexy, fun, and good at killing vampires, she can swap shoes in a microsecond.

See, as she attacks the vampire wearing white party pumps...

Then, alley-oop, suddenly swaps them for a pair of

black boots when required to kick him in his undead nuts.

That is my kind of woman.

Where are your jibes now?

We want to swim and you can't stop us!

It's Desperate Housewives, and another wardrobe-related oversight is about to kick off

thanks to these cheeky kids who are refusing to get out of the water.

In you go, Mum, sort them out.

She walks into the pool in heels,

wades through the water in heels,

walks out again in heels, but then, having done the hard part, she's suddenly barefoot.

It's confusing. No wonder her kids are a nightmare.

-No parental consistency.

-Paul, we have to leave now.

24, and watch this woman exiting the loo, or rather, her shoes.

A pair of good old-fashioned all-American sneakers.

Nothing wrong there. In fact, everything right.

But spin on,

and during a simple walk to her desk, they've been changed,

switched, perverted, into high heels.

Free-world flatties wiped off the face of the earth, replaced by by high-heeled extremism.

And where's Jack Bauer?

Running a minicab firm.

"51 to base, passenger POB, Rog."

James Corden is a bit of a quick-change artist on the side. Oh, yeah, look.

One minute he's wearing his dinner jacket, and the next, he's lost it.

The jacket, not his temper. Although it's a wedding, there's always one fight.

Here's classic '70s drama Hawaii Five-0, as in five acting expressions, oh dear.

Steve McGarrett is on the case and there's no time to lose.

Except to change his suit on the way up the stairs.

-Mr Dennison, please.

-Never mind all that, what have you done with your grey suit?

Look, he gets out of the car in the grey one, and walks into the office wearing the blue.

Mr Dennison, please.

Actually, good work, Steve. No-one wants to be arrested by a man in a sweaty suit.

A fun run along a canal side for the Ashes to Ashes team,

and Alex looks all French - scarf, stripey T-shirt.

I'm not sure about the red belt, though. Nah, get rid of it, Keeley.

That's better. Does it come back?

Nope. Don't stop running.

You don't want Jimmy Savile coming up behind you...ever.

I hear you're having trouble with your head.

Fans of Lost will know that the series is set on a mysterious

island where strange things happen, like a rucksack that changes colour halfway through a conversation.

See how it starts off dark green with thick straps, but then on a

reverse shot, it transforms into a black one with much thinner straps.

What's causing your headaches?

It's not like it's a tumour or something.

Then, halfway through some guff about too-mours, it goes back to dark green,

and then black again, green,

black, all of you Lost fans think that this means something, don't you? Well, you're right.

-It means the wardrobe department cocked up.

-Just headaches.

Under normal circumstances, the last person I'd want to see frolicking in a wet T shirt is Hurley from Lost.

Unless, of course, he was dancing around a pole, and even then only maybe.

Here he is teaching Charlie to fish and how to be both sopping wet...

And dry at the same time.

Maybe he's just really hot.

Hot warm, not hot sexy. Unless he was dancing around a pole. Phwoar!

The poacher, I heard him fishing only a few nights ago.

What, with all his sartorial eccentricities,

Doctor Who has always been a strain on the wardrobe department, in whichever incarnation.

In this clip, Tom Baker's jaunty hat is the problem.

He leaves it on the chair and exits, and then in the next scene,

he's walking through the woods wearing it.

Maybe they'd shot a scene where he remembered, thought "huh" and went back for it, but then didn't use it.

Yeah, better check the director's cut.

Little Britain, famous for its comedy characters.

Here's Matt Lucas as Bubbles DeVere.

Bubbles dives under the tanning machine, naked,

but if we spin forward,

she emerges some time later burnt to a crisp and now mysteriously wearing a pair of blue goggles.

Will you excuse me for a moment, please, Mr Hutton, I'm a little bit on fire.

How....

you...a doing?

I love Friends. I could watch it all day.

And thanks to E4, I can.

Here's Joey chatting up a girl in the apartment opposite.

He can't wait to get over there and introduce himself.

And yet, he still has time to miraculously change his black shirt on the way over.

Sweaty black shirt morphs into clean purple one.

But as he knocks on the door,

it's back to black.

Black, purple and black. The three colours of the bad continuity flag.

It's Jonathan Creek in a spooky old house about to get chased by a massive gorilla.

When I say massive gorilla, I mean a medium-sized man in an unconvincing gorilla outfit.

It's enough to give you brown pants, or more precisely, to turn your blue pants black.

Either way, that's pants.

Another moment of drama in Gray's Anatomy.

Sandra Oh rips off her surgical topcoat and exits the operating theatre.

Meanwhile, out in the corridor, there's a bomb scare.

These doctors can't go faster than .000003 miles an hour

or they'll blow up or something.

Then, just as you thought this scene couldn't get any more confusing, out pops Sandra with her coat on again.

It's a bit like the film Speed but with less speed and more mistakes.

We're moving to an OR further away from the oxygen line.

Hey, David Banner is rescuing a bit-part actress from a cliff.

Spin on, and sure enough, he turns into The Incredible Hulk.

And as usual, his massive green muscles completely tear the shirt from his back.

But seconds later, the shirt reappears,

then disappears, then finally reappears again,

having mounted its curious green host once more.

All right, come on, come on!

Well, there was a lady present.

But sadly, no continuity person.

All great telly starts with a script.

You need writers who can really write words good comma,

and make the things we actors and presenters say in their mouths have, like, pizzazz and that.

Yes, script and story are crucial.

Confused story lines and dialogue, and character errors can spoil an entire series in seconds.

That's why broadcasters spend enormous amounts of money hiring professional writers and executives

to ensure this doesn't happen and why they get so disappointed when it still does.

Take a look at this little lot.

24, and here's Jack Bauer giving his exact location to headquarters.

We're at 21408 Kipling, North Hollywood.

That's 21408 Kipling, North Hollywood. 21408. Now, spin on,

and the car is here. But spin on again, and we can see they've pulled up outside 21048.

Well, that's no good. Kiefer's at 21408.

But hang on, he is here, at 21048,

-and not...

-21408 Kipling, North Hollywood.

Where he said he was a moment ago.

Still, it's only the Secret Service in a race against time to save lives,

nothing important, like a pizza delivery.

Here's Ashes To Ashes,

the disappointing follow-up to Life On Mars.

It's July 1981.

And a shocked Keeley Hawes

has just found herself mysteriously back in the 1980s.

She's trying to find out the date from Gene Hunt's steam-driven computer.

Let's check it. 17th July 1981.

There's nothing on this hard drive but the time and date.

Spin on, and later, in her new '80s flat, we see that she's marked her arrival date as July 20th.

She's lost three days.

There are easier ways to lose three days, Keeley.

Try drinking five pints of gin.

Works for me.

Here's an IT blunder from serial-killing drama, Dexter.

As Rudy Cooper opens an e-mail from [email protected]...

..presses reply,

and suddenly he's writing back to [email protected].

Don't worry, though, thanks to the confusing power of telly,

Frozen Barbie still gets the e-mail anyway.

All's well that ends well. Except for the fact that he kills her and cut her into tiny pieces.

Here's an early clip from Star Trek: The Next Generation

and new Number One, Will Riker, is looking for the holodeck.

The computer tells him it's...

'The next hatchway on your right.'

-You mean left, surely?

-Thank you.

-He's bluffing. Riker knows that the new Enterprise computer is an idiot.

-I do.

And goes left instead.

In the future, many things will be different, but apparently, men still don't trust directions from a woman.

US drama Fringe, and this bonkers boffin has invented a camera

that can photograph a corpse

and capture the last image seen by a person before their death.

-Ready?

-I know, it's rubbish, but go with it.

Let's listen to the doc's advice.

Goggles, all of you. Do not look directly into the light.

-MIMICS:

-"Goggles, all of you. Do not look directly into the light."

Got it. Camera, dangerous. Goggles, essential.

But spin on through the rubbish, and see what happens.

They've taken them off. Oi! And you! Put them back on.

The doctor said keep the goggles on while the camera is still flashing.

Doc, tell them to... not you, as well. I give up. This programme is stupid.

The OC crowd are in a nightclub

when one of our old friends

leaves an urgent message for his mate. Let's listen in.

Luke, it's me. I wanted to make sure you took care of it.

OK. Ryan said, "Luke, it's me.

"I want to make sure you took care of it." And there was lots of noise in the background.

Does Luke get the message? Yes. But not that one.

-WITHOUT BACKGROUND NOISE:

-Luke, it's me. I'm just calling to make sure you took care of it.

"Luke, it's me. I'm just CALLING to make sure you took care of it."

Different words and no background noise. Probably a network problem.

There's a joke here somewhere about Orange County, but where are the good times?

Writing a long-running show like Frasier is tricky,

having to remember the characters' likes and dislikes

and relatives. They're a nightmare, even when they're not real.

Just listen to Frasier's dad Martin in series one.

I never had a brother.

Marty Crane never had a brother.

-Oh, I've got the feeling he would have liked one, though, and by series five, he did.

-There he is!

Well! This is so exciting! You two must have so much to talk about. Uncle Walt, hello!

That's either a mistake or someone needs a psychiatrist.

-Marty.

-Walt.

SOUND problems are very common in television,

partly because it would be impossible to control all the sounds around us

and partly because most sound men are tone-deaf alcoholics whose only hope of noticing a pin drop

is if you pull it out of a live grenade in front of them and throw it in their stupid faces.

We in telly call the process of replacing sounds "dubbing" or "ADR",

which stands for automatic dialogue replacement.

Mind you, looking at these next clips, you'd think it stood for awful dialogue replacement!

HE GUFFAWS EXAGGERATEDLY

It's Doctor Izzie Stevens in Grey's Anatomy,

who can say "ooh" without moving her lips. No really, she can.

-Look.

-Oh, ooh!

Oh, I like that. Again?

-Ooh!

-Oh, go on then. Once more!

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

-Are you allowed to eat a cupcake in a sterile environment?

-Are you still working with Meredith?

Ah, yes. Meredith, AKA Dr Grey herself.

But don't stand on ceremony, she hates that.

Dr Grey.

-Meredith.

-Meredith.

We heard it but we didn't see it.

That man did not say "Meredith".

-Or did he?

-Meredith.

-No, he did not.

At least not at the time.

Maybe he hates the name Meredith and refused to say it.

"Ah," they thought, "We'll just stick that on later in the edit."

And they did. Badly.

-Because I stayed in the OR to save a life.

-Meredith.

-Very good.

-What have you go there?

Pride and Prejudice, and keep your eyes and ears

on that fine actress Alison Steadman.

There she is, famous for her performance in Abigail's Party

and loads of other parts that have been quite similar.

But hark, only an actress with Alison's vocal skills could say different words than her own mouth.

Lord knows I have no desire to be always going here and there at night.

Oi, Steadman! Your mouth's writing cheques your voice can't cash! That doesn't make any sense.

I have no desire to be always going here and there at night.

But neither does poor-quality dubbing.

# For Jesus Christ our saviour... #

More Pride and Prejudice, and Mary's depressing everyone

with her piano playing like some 19th-century Dido.

But look, there in the back of shot, Maria's singing without moving her lips.

-Maybe she's singing out of her...

-HE WHISTLES

-Now, you might call that a mistake but I call it some of the finest...

-HE WHISTLES

..singing I've ever heard.

Everyone, I just wanted to say it really means a lot to me

-that all of you came.

-In this episode of Desperate Housewives,

Carlos is giving a speech to friends about leaving to go to jail.

But when they cut to a shot of Susan and Julie listening,

we see Carlos isn't talking despite the fact we can still hear him.

And when a man goes away to jail...

-Now, he hasn't got a...

-HE WHISTLES

-..so maybe he's talking out of his "ah-huh-huh". In which case, respect.

-So, thanks.

Look, everyone. It's Rachel off Friends, venting her spleen.

So I was with Joshua for an hour today and he has not asked me out.

Just so frustrating.

I know, bad dubbing is very frustrating and I'll tell you what else is frustrating.

Having Brad Pitt stolen away from you by Angelina Jolie.

Curse you, Bradley Pitt.

Just so frustrating.

I know, but don't go on about it.

I wondered what it'd be like to be a dude,

walking through the halls in jeans and a ratty T-shirt...

It's One Tree Hill, another one of those American shows full of cute people

who've got everything they need. Except a good slap in the face!

Maybe I'm into girls.

SILENCE

Whoa! Rachel just said that last line twice. No, really. Look.

Maybe I'm into girls.

-MIMICS:

-Maybe I'm into girls.

I think it's time for that slap in the face.

Just give me a straight yes or no.

Why should I give you...

It's Only Fools and would you Adam and Eve it,

Del Boy is about to put his plates of meat

right in it and say something a bit apples and bassist, or whatever racist is in Cockney.

What are the odds on you picking the only genuine weight watcher in London?

Del's original line was "the only Provo weight watcher in London".