Episode 2 Robot Wars

Four teams are about to have a Robot Wars Christmas dream come true.

With our help,

they've designed and built their very own heavyweight combat machine.

I've sold a million singles,

but crushing a robot is music to my ears.

World champion, Commonwealth champion, Olympic champion,

and now, hopefully, Robot Wars champions.

Precision engineered to inflict maximum damage,

these novice roboteers will test their machines to breaking point.

This is going to be carnage, I want to get out there and I want to win.

But to do so, they must compete

in the most dangerous fighting arena in the world.

Battle after battle, they'll duel their robots,

dodge the arena hazards and the dreaded house robots.

With only one hour repair time between battles,

they'll need to work hard...

It's dangerous.

..to keep their robots running.

It's feeling better already.

Each team will be guided to glory by a battle-hardened robot mentor.

Their fighting experience will be invaluable in the quest for glory.

Who will prove they have what it takes to become a champion?

It's time to find out.

This is Robot Wars: Battle of the Stars.

APPLAUSE

Welcome to Robot Wars: Battle of the Stars.

Tonight our four celebrities and their teams

will help design, build and drive their very own fighting machine,

but who has what it takes to become the Robot Wars champion?

This is where it all happens, our reinforced fighting arena.

Our teams must battle it out within these four bulletproof walls,

avoiding the hazards, and, of course,

the biggest divas of them all, the house robots.

Battling for victory tonight...

..Welsh football legend Robbie Savage.

Double Paralympic gold medallist Kadeena Cox.

Rizzle Kicks pop star Jordan Stephens.

And TV presenter, archaeologist and historian Neil Oliver.

Guiding them through the competition

will be four battle-hardened mentors.

-ROBOTIC VOICE:

-Jason Marston.

With 14 years of robot fighting under his belt,

builder Jason is unmatched in his driving ability

with his deadly axe robot Thor.

Ellis Ware.

19 years old, builder Ellis is the mastermind

behind the small but mighty Pulsar,

with its vicious drum spinning at 9,000rpm.

John Reid.

John has 18 years' robot building experience

and has spent over a decade perfecting his robot Terrorhurtz.

Will Thomas.

Will Thomas has been building robots with his father for ten years.

Last series, his robot Shockwave pushed its way to the final six.

These are the mentors who will guide our teams,

but only one can be victorious in this battle of the stars.

Here's how the competition works.

They each fight each other once in a mini-league,

with three points for a win and two points for a judges' decision.

The top two teams will make it

through to tonight's grand final.

First into the arena tonight, it's a battle of the sports stars.

Kadeena Cox...

So, my team consists of me and my ten-year-old brother.

I think I'll be doing most of the driving,

because I like to be in control

and I'm not sure I trust him to do my job!

..versus Robbie Savage.

I'm Robbie Savage, ex-footballer, TV and radio presenter

and a very bad dancer - and our robot is Robo Savage.

-Robbie Savage.

-Dara, how are you?

-Pleasure, good to have you here.

-Are you excited?

-Really excited,

-can't wait.

-So who's your team?

-So, this is my best pal from school, Jamie.

-Hi, Jamie, you all right?

-This is my cousin Matt.

-How are you, sir?

And that's my other best pal, Jake.

-Wow.

-And Thor!

-How are you, Thor? Good to see you again.

Very, very good. OK, here we go, listen, this is Robo Savage.

-Oh, oh...

-Oh, hello, hello.

Oh, well, it's scary anyway.

Bloody hell, you've put enough batwings on it, haven't you?

Look at that, I think that deserves a round of applause,

for Robbie's robot. First appearance.

Robo Savage.

Flipper.

Well, it is like a tetanus jab waiting to happen, isn't it?

You have to repair this thing repeatedly.

What kind of weapon is this now?

It's got a flipper on it, a full-pressure flipper,

so it's capable of lifting three tons and should go off with a bang.

-Fantastic. CO2 gas, compressed air?

-Yep, CO2.

-Very good.

-And Robbie, he wanted his dragon wings. Dragon wings.

-Of course!

-You want it to be a Welsh robot.

-Wales colours.

I think it looks fantastic. Ladies and gentlemen, Robo Savage.

Come on, clap.

ROBBIE LAUGHS

-Hello, Kadeena, how are you?

-Good, thanks.

-Nice to meet you.

-Lovely to meet you too.

-Talk to me about your team. Ellis, how are you?

-Fine, thank you.

-Familiar face.

-And what about you, what's your name?

-Joah.

-Nice to meet you, Joah.

Let's see it. Do you want to unveil? Joah, help us out here.

I think it's going to get caught on the top.

-Ooh, nice!

-APPLAUSE

Right. What is this little beauty called?

-It's called the Kadeena Machina.

-Nice!

-ELLIS:

-Right, that's a 15 kilo disc going 2,000 RPM or something.

Anything that gets round the front is going to get destroyed.

I mean, there's a lot of action at the front,

but I don't mean to alarm you,

but your wheels are absolutely exposed,

-and the is a rookie error, surely.

-It is.

That allows you to have more weight.

If you're not protecting the wheels,

you can put more weight in the weapon.

Against Robbie Savage, first battle.

He's quite a competitive fellow, as well.

How do you fancy your chances?

-Oh, I'm confident.

-Yeah?

-I'm confident.

-So assuming the wheels stay intact, we're home run?

-Yeah.

Great. Good luck.

Thank you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

With his first battle imminent,

Robbie's already got concerns about his robot's weapon.

What he's found is, the flipper is not going right to the ground,

so one flip might do good damage, but then, it won't go down.

So he can't have any more flips.

So a flipper without a flip is no good!

Like he said.

Some last-minute fixes are made

before the teams get the call to fight.

CHEERING

So we start with spinner against flipper.

The key is to launch attacks

while keeping clear of your opponent's weapon.

But have our mentors done enough

to steer their teams to victory?

For our first battle,

it's time to hand over to the voice of Roberts Wars, Jonathan Pearce.

Thanks, Dara and Angela, our little festive elves.

Tonight, each battle will be played over three minutes,

unless a robot is counted out, is immobile, is flipped out,

or finds itself in the Pit of Doom.

If the battle runs for the full three minutes,

it'll be up to our esteemed judging panel to decide a winner.

They are Dr Lucy Rogers, Professor Sethu Vijayakumar,

and head judge Dr Noel Sharkey.

The teams are in the arena.

-ANNOUNCER:

-From Wrexham, Robo Savage.

CHEERING

Robo Savage has a high-pressure CO2 flipper

with gas stored at a whopping 825 psi.

Its high-angled front armour is designed to deflect spinners.

Team captain Robbie Savage broke his nose

while competing on Strictly Come Dancing.

Will Robo Savage have enough flip

to put some noses out of joint?

-ANNOUNCER:

-From Leeds, Kadeena Machina.

CHEERING

Kadeena's robot has a 15 kilo disc

that spins at 2,000 rpm.

Their upwards-spinning blade

is designed to flip and rip opponents' armour.

Team captain Kadeena

is the first British Paralympian

to win golds in multiple sports

at the same games since 1984.

Will she have to make room

in the trophy cabinet tonight?

Lurking in the arena are also the dreaded house robots,

limited to their Corner Patrol Zones,

they'll deal damage to any celebrity robot

foolish enough to enter their lair.

For the first battle, it's Shunt,

easily pushing competitors around

at a festively-plump 325 kilos.

CHEERING

Our celebrity roboteers are in the booth.

It's time for our first battle.

-I'm nervous.

-So am I!

-LAUGHTER

-My heart's going like that.

And you've every right to be nervous.

This isn't celebrity lifestyle, this is Robot Wars!

-ANNOUNCER:

-Three, two, one...

-KLAXON

-..activate.

Robbie Savage will have problems if that flipper isn't working.

Look at that vertical spinner.

And Kadeena Machina comes straight in and hits,

but didn't really cause much trouble - deflected away.

And wobbling a little bit.

Because of the power of that spinner,

Kadeena is having to do a lot of work

to keep it under control.

And Robo Savage came in.

A little bit of a tackle from behind by Robbie.

Well, we've seen them before.

Played in two League Cup finals, was booked in them both.

Again tries to get that flipper to work, there's the problem -

it's wedged open!

It's now bent and buckled,

and in real trouble.

The spinning disc caused all the problems there.

Very destructive.

-Outdrive it.

-Outdrive it?

Well, they're going to have two outdrive it now.

And dodge.

And basically, Robbie...run away.

You might need it to fight another day.

And getting himself in trouble there, trying to tackle from behind.

-CHEERING

-There goes the 16 kilo

vertical spinner.

Splintered.

Shards ripped away - look at this.

Oh-ho! There goes the tyre.

-ROBBIE:

-I can't move! Can't move.

Robbie's already looking tired

and emotional.

He can't move.

And now, Kadeena Machina can come in and destroy.

-KADEENA:

-I can't.

Because you drove it like an idiot!

Very good mentor in Ellis Ware, the 19-year-old.

Oh, and the dragon's wing is buckled.

Is there any power in the CO2?

KLAXON

Or is there a leak in the Welsh machine?

It's come back.

Little bit of fight, little bit of spirit.

In goes Shunt.

It's flipped the dragon over.

It's bashed the dragon into the side wall.

You can't hide.

That's where the damage was caused.

Onto the front flipper, bending it.

Off went the wheel.

And Robo Savage was left looking

not so much Savage, but rather weak.

What happened?

Well, we had a leak in the machine before we started,

so when the flipper went up, when he missed it three times,

-it didn't flip high enough.

-It just, like...

-It just kind of raised one leg up.

-There was no power in the flipper.

Do you know what? It was less like your football

and more like your Strictly Come Dancing.

It was just one leg.

It was cha-cha-cha-ing around the stage.

-ROBBIE:

-But listen, Joah and Kadeena were fantastic.

Brilliant. Well done. Congratulations.

-Thank you.

-Very, very good.

-That's a hell of a weapon.

-Oh, it's brilliant, isn't it?

Yeah. And also you're doing a lot of...

Oh, no, because I can drive on both sides,

but I ended up upside down, so it was a bit dodge, so I needed to...

Can you turn that thing back around again if you get stuck?

That's why I was spinning round in a circle.

And that means the win goes to Kadeena Machina.

So, Team Robo Savage end up on the wrong end

of Kadeena Machina's vertical spinner -

but experienced mentor Jason isn't too concerned.

What has to happen now, Jason?

Basically we need a new wheel

and a bit of welding on the front,

and a little bit of panel-beating on the dragon wings and it'll be fine.

For first-timer, Robbie, however, they never stood a chance.

Going to be controversial -

but before we started we'd a problem with the flipper,

and then we had a leak!

So, when my expert driving got under the machine,

my co-driver, there, tried three flips, tried... You're on camera.

This is the worst bit of driving I've ever seen in my life.

-We told him to reverse.

-Yeah.

-Kamikaze mission!

I think Robbie was pretty upset by the loss, to be honest.

With the full three points in the bag,

Kadeena Machina are in even better shape now

than they were before the fight.

Cos what often happens is, when you hit something,

and you do it a few times, it kind of runs it in a bit.

So, it will loosen up all the bearing

-and get all the friction out the system.

-Fair enough.

So, it's probably actually running better now than when it went in.

Nice.

Teams now only have one hour

to prepare for their next fight.

Robo Savage has armour to refit and a wheel to replace.

Mentor Jason has a word of advice for Robbie.

-It's your driving, man.

-It's all down to the driving.

-Hey, hey.

-Driving's 90% of it.

-Yeah.

-Honestly.

You've got to think about your own game, not mine.

JASON LAUGHS

It was mainly bad driving, I think, personally.

So, we're going to make a few tweaks to it,

repair the damage that Robbie caused,

and hopefully all will be well.

Improved, in fact.

Our next battle is...

Jordan Stephens.

Robot Wars was definitely a highlight of my evening

as a youngster.

And I've been a fan for, you know, way over a decade.

..versus Neil Oliver.

I'll be taking part in this competition with my two boys,

Archie and Teddy.

This has attracted me because I want the boys to find out about robots,

to find out about engineering.

Yes, we'll have fun on the day, but it's more about learning,

and seeing what robots are all about.

Also joining us, Neil Oliver... The Oliver family, really.

We are, yes, yes.

-What's your name, sir?

-Archie.

-And...?

-Teddy.

-Right. And what's it called?

-It's the Soldier Ant.

-Soldier Ant, OK.

Grab the cloth, here, come on. Help me with this.

-Da-da-da!

-Da-da-da!

-Loving that.

Well done, you two. Does this live up to your idea?

Yeah, it's amazing.

It looks like something

straight out of a science fiction movie.

-Isn't it?

-It's like something from Desert Storm. Looks military.

How much pressure of crush do you have?

We've got about three tonnes of crush. So, that should...

-That seems unnecessarily powerful.

-It does seem a bit much.

-Are you confident, the Oliver family?

-We are.

I think Will's done a fantastic job,

he's realised the ethos of the ant, here,

and because these guys are so used to operating...

-Yeah, yeah. Controllers.

-..handsets and controllers.

-Xbox.

Absolutely, yeah.

Because they've got that instinctive way of operating these things,

I think we've got all the advantage we need.

Is Soldier Ant going to win?

-Hopefully.

-Hopefully...

-Can you give me...?

-Yes.

-Yes, there we go.

I'll take that as one and a half out of two on "Are you going to win?"

Well done. Ladies and gentlemen, that is Soldier Ant!

Wahey!

-It's great. WILL:

-I love it.

Team Jordan. Introduce me to your team.

Right, OK, so on my right I have Joshy,

Here we have Pete Cannon.

John, I imagine, as a mentor, these were tricky to keep under control.

Slightly, yes(!) We have a few problems.

-Talk to me about the robot...

-Did we?

-Oh! Did you not know?

I'm sorry, man, I thought... I thought we got along pretty well!

THEY LAUGH

-Shall we unveil the robot?

-Yes.

-What's her name?

-I'm guessing it's a her.

-No, no, it's a guy.

-It's a guy.

-This is a guy, this is Dee.

-OK.

Fabulous.

-She's glittery... He.

-He. He.

-..is glittery.

Looks like a flamingo.

-Are they going to do the job?

-I think we've got a chance.

-Yeah?

-It looks very simple, it is very simple.

-Yeah.

-But inside, you've got some hidden details.

-Go on, Dee.

-Feel the weight of that.

-OK.

-Oh, yeah - good armour!

-So, that's some serious armour.

It's going to take a lot to damage that, OK.

And we're the fastest robot, we've got the fastest motors.

Well, you'd want them with these wheels,

because one swipe and you're a goner.

-Yeah.

-OK, great. Well, Dee and the boys, well done and good luck.

-Yeah.

So can the thwackbot of Team Dee take on

the crushing pincer of Soldier Ant?

Teams will need their very best driving skills

to work their weapons to full potential.

Over to you, Jonathan.

Thanks again, Dara and Angela.

The teams for our second battle are in the arena.

From Brighton - Dee.

Dee is the lightest robot in the competition at 99 kilos,

but packs the thickest armour.

Its spiked tail is used

as both an axe and a spinner.

Dee's exposed pneumatic tyres

are cause for concern

for Rizzle Kicks' captain Jordan, though.

He says their aim is to try

and keep "Wheelie safe"!

Wheelie safe!

From Stirling - Soldier Ant.

Soldier Ant is a hydraulic crusher inspired

by an insect's crushing jaws.

Its three tonnes of bite

are designed to grab and control

their opponents.

Soldier Ant's 10mm thick steel armour on the front

means it's strong against

frontal attacks from spinners.

Archaeologist team captain Neil has deferred the driving

and weapon duties to his two sons, Teddy, who's 10,

and Archie, who's 8.

And in the Corner Patrol Zone for battle two...

All he wants for Christmas is a new front blade!

It's Dead Metal.

And it's a thwackbot against a crusher.

There are the two teams.

Neil has spent a lifetime digging over the bones

of those who have been lost in battle.

Jordan's sold over a million singles.

Hugely successful in his own field.

3...2...1...

-ALL:

-Activate!

Jordan, this isn't Glastonbury, this is a whole different ball game.

You're up against the man who once presented a programme

called The Celts: Blood, Iron And Sacrifice -

he's mean! And so are his kids at the controls.

Good dancing, though. Mama, you're doing the hump, there.

But you're in trouble now as Soldier Ant comes in

with that three-tonne hydraulic crusher,

and has Dee pinned.

Down comes the Dee full-body hammer.

Oh! And now in on the arena spikes,

and very near to Dead Metal.

They need to get away from there.

Good driving, in the end, by Jordan, getting them out.

-NEIL:

-Claw! Keep the claw up. Keep the claw open.

They're waiting for a charge to come in.

Can get up to 11mph, Soldier Ant.

Meanwhile, Jordan slamming down with that weaponry!

Dodging the flame pits.

It's a little bit anxious for him.

-And again, Jordan.

-Teddy, leave the claw open. Open, son.

Instructions from Neil...

..who once presented The Vikings, you'll remember that.

And now he has them on the horns of a dilemma.

And away they go.

Cracker of a battle, so far.

-JOHN:

-Nice drift! Drift.

Now, who is doing the most damage?

It might go to the judges...

and the exposed wheel is torn!

And I think they can only now spin around,

I think their manoeuvrability

is affected by that,

look at the crushing beak, there, of Soldier Ant.

They can spin around and around, but they ain't going to go very far.

And if Soldier Ant picks them up,

Jordan will not be Down With The Trumpets,

he'll be down in the pit any moment!

-NEIL:

-He won't come out. Archie, go for him.

They can't get out from the side wall because of the tyre problem.

But we haven't seen any great destructibility from

the three-tonne hydraulic crusher.

-JOSHY:

-Yeah, that's it! Any time he comes, man, just do that!

-NEIL:

-Archie, go for him, go for him.

They need to spin around and lure Soldier Ant

towards a pit of into a CPZ.

Because if this does go to the judges,

Soldier Ant has been the more aggressive.

Time it ticking away!

-Go, Jordan.

-ARCHIE:

-Stop spinning!

-JORDAN:

-I won't stop spinning!

He's spinning his discs,

is Jordan Stephens.

When I Was A Youngster, he said...

-KLAXON SOUNDS

-..he used to watch Robot Wars.

Cease!

Might not be in it much longer.

The judges conspire.

-NEIL:

-We did much more damage.

-ARCHIE:

-We did much better than you!

I think they're right.

-JORDAN:

-Hey, listen, listen, you've got a weapon and ours is one weapon.

Ha!

Well, certainly Soldier Ant was the more aggressive,

and caused the more damage.

It goes to style, control, damage and aggression.

That was a close one!

That's the kind of battle we want.

It was, it was a battle of equals.

It was indeed. Now, you weren't really showing much mercy,

it was straight out of the blocks.

Yeah, ultimately when we're in the War Zone,

those kind of things need to happen.

We talked earlier about your vulnerabilities,

and those giant, soft wheels were a little vulnerable

and, man, they got nailed.

The main plan was to keep wheelie safe, which we weren't able to do.

You've got to be very proud of these boys. What control they showed.

Yeah, the fact they had to work together and cooperate was great,

but we talked outside about going after those tyres,

going after the wheels, and it came to pass.

That was always the plan. Now, there was no clear winner as we have said,

so it's gone to a judges' decision.

And the result has come through.

I'm nervous about this one.

OK. It was unanimous.

The winner of the fight and the two points...

Soldier Ant.

-Well done.

-Yes!

Well done, guys. Well done, everybody.

-A pleasure doing business with you.

-Pleasure doing business.

Both robots were initially quite slow and deliberate

in their movements.

Finally when the crusher got hold of Dee

it showed that it had power in its jaws,

and that's where it won the battle.

Time to see how our celebrity teams are shaping up.

After every battle, teams check their robots for repairs,

but with very minor damage to report,

victorious Soldier Ant are still revelling in the glory.

The Ant performed beautifully,

it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

I think the profile of their robot was such that our completed bite

didn't quite come down far enough to crush.

I had a sneak look at their robot -

we were very close to taking them out completely.

We got a big gouge on this side though,

-and a hole on this side where their axe went through.

-Gosh.

It's only minor, so I wouldn't worry too much.

I wasn't expecting them to make a hole in us.

All it needs is a bit of welding.

You don't think it evens needs that.

That battle scar makes it look more authentic.

We'll charge the batteries, get it ready -

we'll be going in about five minutes, I reckon.

Fantastic.

Team Dee, however, return to the pits with no points

and a whole wheel to replace, but it was very nearly a lot worse.

Damage? Apart from the punctured wheel,

I think they might have just touched the battery.

If it had just fitted through that hole

we would have been in deep trouble.

It if hit that battery, it just instantly bursts into flames.

It would probably have burnt the whole inside of the robot out.

And we know all too well the effect damaged lithium batteries can have

on a fighting robot.

Our next battle is between bottom of the league Robo Savage

against second placed Soldier Ant.

After a lack of attacking power in their last fight, mentor Jason

has been hard at work on a new plan to get some points on the board.

I think Jason's been brilliant to get us back in the game

after that first shocking driving from myself.

The difference is the longer flip at the front.

The first game, the flip was only that long - you need a big flipper.

Now we've got one - that's the longer flipper.

Before, it was only that long.

We'll be ready for the next fight,

looking forward to it, and this will be a win for Robo Savage.

But while Soldier Ant seemed happy with their last fight,

they know that facing a flipper brings a whole new set of problems.

Having seen the robot in action, my biggest concern

is if something gets in behind it,

I think we're very vulnerable to being flipped over.

It's possible that the hydraulic crushing mechanism

might double as a self-righting mechanism,

but we haven't had the chance to try that,

so we may well discover if it operates like a turtle

flipped onto its back, or if it can get back into the fight.

We know where our strengths lie, we understand our weaknesses,

and if the three of us can work together,

out-manoeuvre the opponents,

I think we have enough crushing power to deal with any enemy.

Can Soldier Ant crush the dreams of Robo Savage?

In the Corner Patrol Zone armed with a 35kg spinning disc...

Where's my mistletoe? It's Matilda!

Go!

Cheating, cheating...

Three, two, one, activate.

Soldier Ant vulnerable to tackles from behind.

I've seen Robbie provide many of those over the years -

he was fuming, driven mad after that first defeat.

He's going to be mad in commentary boxes for years!

He's now being pursued by Soldier Ant.

I think he's got CO2 venting!

There must have damaged caused by the pincer - there is now.

And the power of the flipper will surely be affected or limited

with no CO2 - they're in trouble!

Is this the end for Robo Savage?

Down again, down, down, down.

Soldier Ant's team actually wanted their machine to have legs!

But Will Thomas said no, and Robbie would have bitten the legs,

-let's be honest.

-OK, let go, let go.

Better driving from Robo Savage,

getting away not only from Soldier Ant but also from the CPZ -

the danger area, the Corner Patrol Zone.

Soldier Ant with two points from the judges' decision,

three points for an outright victory.

And great flipping by Robbie Savage and his team!

They're celebrating, they think it's all over - it could be now.

Robbie's celebrating, dancing a dance of delight,

not a pretty sight.

They want them in the pit!

Charbroiled Soldier Ant, and we have Matilda.

I love her movement.

Coming in for a little bit of fun and frolics this festive time.

What a turn-up for the books!

And nearly turned up and over.

-That's not fair!

-It's all fair in love and war.

It certainly is - you know that from your series

about the Vikings and the Celts, Neil.

The archaeologist,

University of Glasgow graduate.

I bet he wishes he was back in there now... Hey, hey!

Yes, down in the Pit of Oblivion

for Soldier Ant.

Well, from the start, Soldier Ant went on the offensive.

Using the huge pincer.

But not enough damage sustained,

and this is where the new, bigger flipper came into effect.

What a difference from the first fight - over went Soldier Ant.

Could they self-right? No, they couldn't.

They were in trouble from that moment on.

They tried, rolling...

..and burning.

Beautiful work.

I think nobody is as surprised by that result as you were.

What?!

It looked like you were smoking from the beginning,

I thought it was curtains before you'd even started.

I've got to say, Teddy and Archie were absolutely fantastic.

They had to let go of us,

cos you're only allowed to hold for ten seconds.

Unlucky, guys, you were brilliant, but my pal, Jamie,

his driving was fantastic.

-Brilliant.

-We were dead and buried for a minute but we came back.

Beautiful driving, as before.

How did that go for you?

It was really good.

Teddy was doing an amazing job, even better than before,

of getting the timing right on the jaw,

and they got us when the side was visible for them

and they flipped over and we got stuck in the fire.

Do you think they got lucky because...?

-That face suggests he got a bit lucky!

-Yeah.

Do you think it was a mistake not being able to self-right,

because obviously, that was ultimately

what took you out of the running?

It was, but it was a well played game.

-Yeah.

-The boys did well.

And they deployed the weapon that they had effectively

and we take that on the chin, but we'll come back fighting.

Absolutely. Right, surprising, but wonderful points for you guys.

Well done, Robo Savage. Good luck in the next one.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

So, after another bruising battle, the scoreboard looks like this.

Kadeena Machina and Robo Savage are tied with three points.

Soldier Ant has two and at the bottom of the table,

with nothing, it's Team Dee.

Buoyant after his first victory,

Team Robo Savage have time to daunt the defeated Soldier Ant.

The winners are going that way. Where are the losers? Staying here.

-See you in a bit.

-You got a lucky shot.

-We're not lucky!

-Lucky shot.

We're not lucky.

This crushing, biting jaw was inflicting a great deal of damage.

It couldn't inflict the killer punch.

And they were frankly lucky

in that they just got one use of that flipper

and flipped us onto our back, but we're not even damaged.

The main thing is we live to fight very happily another day.

Back in the pits,

following the success of Jason's welding and their new flipper,

Robbie and Jason are keen to ensure that nothing mechanical

stops their winning streak.

So, what have we got to do to win the next match?

-Try and find this leak.

-The leak, yeah.

-Still got a leak.

-That was the smoke at the beginning again?

-Yeah, yeah.

-I just haven't had time to look at it, so yeah...

-All right then.

I'd better get on.

-Oh, look at that!

-There's the holes.

-Wow, look at that, man!

-Yeah, it's missed everything.

-Look how lucky we are.

That is sharp, man.

-Yeah, that should be fine.

-So, who didn't put that on proper?

I think it might have just worked loose.

-You know, with...

-It wasn't moving. It wasn't moving.

How has it worked loose when it wasn't moving?

-Vibrations.

-Oh.

Not good ones, either.

Next into the arena, it's top-of-the-table Kadeena Machina

versus Team Dee, who have yet to score.

Following the loss of a wheel at the hands of Soldier Ant,

John's now had time to replace and prepare for their next battle

against the lethal spinner, Kadeena Machina.

I'm just closing her up. We've got really serious back armour here.

We need to make use of that.

Test how well that spinner is built.

And see what happens.

His rival mentor Ellis seems confident, and a victory here

would send them three points clear at the top of the table.

I'm just doing some checks, making sure the teeth are sharp.

Need to put the batteries in, and then it's ready to fight.

It's a relatively safe opponent.

So it's going to be more a matter of reliability of the machine itself,

but it seems pretty solid.

Kadeena's design seems to be formidable in the arena,

but will the pink menace of Dee prove too agile an opponent?

So this is our robot.

Even from the concept phase,

Jordan has known that his light and nimble robot design

may have led to a dangerous compromise.

I don't know how this happened,

but I do have the most difficult robot to drive.

The main hindrance being that once the hammer is laid down,

the robot has to be operated in the reverse direction.

My hand eye coordination is questionable at best.

Our weakest element, I'd say, is our wheels.

They're big and they can be popped

if met with the right kind of weaponry,

so the idea is we just keep wheelie safe.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

Dee's heavy armour possibly a match for Kadeena Machina here.

In the arena for the first time tonight

with two and a half tonnes of crush,

it's the Santa claws of Sir Killalot.

Three, two, one.

Activate!

Can Jordan get that hand eye coordination right now?

He hammered it.

And absolutely thrashed right from the start!

But they've taken each other out!

Or have they?

One wheel's gone.

There's one wheel on that wagon!

And they can only spin and spin at spin.

The clock is counting down

to see if one of these is immobilised.

KLAXON

Over before it began.

-Get off, you big bully!

-Argh!

Sir Killalot, yes, it's fair to say, is an arena bully.

Killalot's got it!

Oh, yes. Now you are really down

with the trumpets of doom.

Solid battle, solid battle.

Solid battle?! It lasted four seconds!

It's the quickest battle in the history of Robot Wars!

From the minute that Dee flew, it was flip flop, fly and out.

They weren't wheelie safe and down they went.

And Kadeena Machina, a very good win.

Did you blink? LAUGHTER

Cos if you did at the wrong time, the entire fight was over.

That was...wow!

That can't have been how you thought that would go.

Well, I'm confident that we won.

John suggested maybe go straight for them

and I thought - that's a great suggestion.

Nothing can go wrong. And nothing did.

Cos the way you actually split apart,

and you didn't know where to go because part of you...

Do I chase down the wheel or do I chase down the rest,

spinning wildly out of control?

-I loved it. It was just so beautiful.

-Yeah, it was.

It was a glorious thing. Is there any chance you can do a third fight?

-Yeah, easy.

-Oh, yeah? Really?

-Yeah, easy.

-Yeah. Will the tactics change in the third fight?

-Absolutely not.

-I'm loving it, I'm loving it, it's fantastic.

-Great battle. Long one.

Listen, we had this conversation, only one fight ago.

That is a heck of a weapon you've got.

Yeah, I quite liked it.

-It was quite exciting, that!

-It was, wasn't it?

-Did you know you would do that amount of damage?

-Yes.

-You did.

-Always confident.

-Joah, are you going to stay driving for the next one?

-Probably.

-Think so? You going to have a go?

-I think he needs a little bit of time.

He didn't get a chance at all there!

We'll let him have a little bit of a drive next time!

You literally gave him no chance to move anywhere.

They were immobilised, is the technical term,

marmalised, I believe, is the actual term for it, for ten seconds,

which means Kadeena Machina's the winner for three points!

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

Yeah, I was really impressed at how Dee went straight in for the kill.

Unfortunately, it was a bit of a suicide mission, killed itself.

Must have been one of the shortest battles I've ever seen.

That weapon is awesome!

So, after the briefest of possible battles,

the scoreboard looks like this. Kadeena has six.

In second place is Robo Savage, with three.

And a single judge's decision gives Soldier Ant two.

Dee, unfortunately, yet to score.

Following a closer inspection, it appears that Team Dee

have more than just a lack of points to worry about.

It was a little bit worse than I thought.

-We've lost the motor.

-It's just a flesh wound.

-Can he fight again?

-If we can, we will fight.

We WILL fight again. We will rise!

Kadeena Machina return untouched.

At the top of the table, they are looking invincible.

We're just going to mend our previous tyre that we damaged.

So, just to confirm, we're going to fix the broken tyre

with our previously broken tyre?

-Yes.

-Cool.

-Exactly.

-Perfect.

Our next fight is an opportunity

for second placed Robo Savage to book a place in the final,

if they can take all three points off last place Team Dee.

Robbie and his team are talking tactics.

When we start, we don't have to face them, face on.

-When you get in there, before it starts...

-Turn round.

-..turn the vehicle round.

-Like Lewis Hamilton does on the grid.

-The only negative is...

-If they come in with a saw, you've had it.

-If the saw hits our rear...

-Yes.

-Well, we don't do that then.

-I honestly think...

-Go forward, stop, spin...

-OK, Rob.

It's not easy to do that.

That's too much spinning for me. I think you're going to struggle.

They're going to be coming straight at you.

Head on, straight for you.

I've got to be honest with you, this would be mine, right?

You do what you've got to do.

-The other robot's there, right?

-Yeah.

-I honestly think I should go that way.

-Why?

-Not head on.

No, because he's going to be coming like that to there,

then he's out of control and he's finished there then.

Then I've got loads of space all round here.

What if you go into the house robot?

But I won't do that. I'll drive dead slow.

I'll drive dead slow, Rob.

-Slow?

-Slow.

-We don't need slow, we need quick!

Initially slow, and then once I've hit that,

we'll just get on with it then.

Good luck, mate.

Team Dee are desperate to get off the bottom of the scoreboard,

but a win here for Robo Savage will put them in to tonight's final,

so flipper tactics are playing on Robbie's mind.

The gas system we're using in Robo Savage

is that we've only got probably 15 flips in one battle,

so Jason's showed me that if you get underneath the other robot,

push them to the wall and then just before they get to the wall,

try and flip them out of the arena, so that's a good strategy.

To win Robot Wars, we have to have the most amazing machine

and, most of all, a good flipper.

Robbie will have to make those 15 flips count

against the agile Dee in the CPZ for this match.

Dead Metal with the circular saw and pincers.

Nervous! Argh! Ha-ha!

Three, two, one.

Activate!

Robbie talking tactics earlier on. Always a problem, that.

Dee with the body hammer, very difficult to drive.

But has the momentum of the entire robot behind its weapon.

Jordan's original design actually had a water pistol

to destroy the electrics in the opponent.

Might as well have stuck with that!

Good drive by the Robo Savage team.

He can't turn, they're in trouble.

Can they spin to win this time, Dee,

and bring that weaponry down?

John the mentor had to explain the benefits

of being aggressive to Jordan.

Push him into the robot!

Jordan wanted to come in with a white flag,

as a peace statement, on top of that pink machine.

Robo Savage getting away from the pincers of Dead Metal.

1.4 metres wide, those pincers, to grab and haul and destroy.

Dee near the flame, but this is a good battle.

Closest we've had so far.

What are you...? Oh, my God!

But I think here, Robo Savage has caused problems for Dee.

Down came the flipper and I think they punctured tyre with that,

but the flipper seems to have been bent. Yes, it has.

So that will now limit the destructibility of Robo Savage,

but Dee is spinning madly.

Almost out of control. They can't go far.

One wheel has been damaged.

And they are now entirely... En-tyrely, get it?

..at danger from Robo Savage,

but what damage can Robo Savage do with the bent front flipper?

-32 seconds.

-Go forward.

Plenty of posing.

That's just Robbie.

To be fair, he's a great character, Robbie.

And a very good pal of mine.

So it says in this note, he's just written me.

But can Robo Savage...?

Keep going, keep going, keep moving...

Taking a mighty tackle there now!

Nearly cost the flipper to come into full force.

Good movement by Dee to get away. This is going to go to the judges.

-KLAXON

-And it's very tight.

Very, very tight.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Dee think they have it.

Crowd not so sure.

Plenty of work for the judges.

-Well done.

-Nice one.

-Absolutely...

-Right, good work, boys...

Movement from Dee.

But the weaponry not into play.

Robo Savage gets in a flip there, that'll count.

Bash from Dee's...axe.

And again, at a glancing blow only, no damage really sustained.

Look for pointers here, control, damage, aggression.

That I think was a good fight. You should all be very proud of that.

-Well done...

-That was a proper ding-dong, need to be careful.

-Not a ding-dong.

-There was a ding-dong going on there,

actually, yeah. A lot of spinning around and around and around.

I mean that's pretty much our tack, so...

LAUGHTER

Listen, you know, I thought you were going to go defensive.

Well, I passed, I passed the driving on to Jake,

who's, you know, young, exuberant and he went for it.

-Yeah!

-Youth. Youth.

-I said I was going to pop the tyre and I did.

The wiser thing would've been to have held back a bit on this.

Well, we went for the tyre

and we tried pushing into the house robot,

so I think, I think we were the aggressors.

Yeah. OK. Cos there are points for aggression,

that's what you're hoping to get.

I thought we were. Obviously they do, as well.

Listen, Savage, it's not true.

Well... If we've not won that, that's outrageous.

When there's no clear winner it's up to the judges to decide

who gets two points. They have made their decision.

This is also quite critical,

cos if you get the two points, you're through, you're in the final.

-Are we? Are we not?

-Yes, you are.

If not, it all depends on the next bout,

but the judges have made their decision.

-And it was a two-to-one decision...

-Ah...

-No.

-Oh...

-And the points went to...

..Team Dee. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Don't point at me!

-I'm absolutely serious! Yes!

-No! No!

This is all about the love.

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

-So it's all down to the last bout, you might not be the...

-Are you mad?

-Beaten?

-Oh, sorry.

-Where were the judges?

The process is not being accepted.

They're not going for that.

-It's ended in chaos here.

-What has happened here?

The point is it comes down to the last fight.

Well, it was a split decision

and I'm not prepared to say which judge said what.

There was 1,000 people in the arena, two people thought... Ow!

LAUGHTER

Two people thought they won. Out of 1,000 people!

-INDISTINCT VOICES

-Sorry.

-Mathematician of the century...

-I asked them all...

When did you come to that conclusion? You asked them all?

-When did this happen? Did he go...?

-Yeah, I did. I went round.

Yeah, and what did they say? "Oh, Robbie"?

-Yeah, they went, "Robo Savage", like that.

-Yeah...

Clearly not happy with the judge's decision,

Robbie's decided to take it into his own hands.

He ran up with a pair of glasses and said,

"I think you need these.

"What were you looking - what were you watching there?"

But since we both are wearing glasses already...!

THEY LAUGH

I honestly thought we won.

The driving by Jake was spot on.

Spot on, I couldn't have asked for more.

And all they did was spin around. Erm...

I don't know how that happened.

It's an injustice. It's an injustice for Christmas.

It's an injustice, isn't it?

Look, it's that dude we just beat. Oi! It's Robbie.

Can I have a selfie with you, boss?

Mate, I'm done.

With one fight to go before the final,

the scoreboard looks like this...

Still at the top of the table,

it's Kadeena with six,

Robo Savage has three,

Soldier Ant has two,

and Dee is out, having only scored two.

So, we've come to the final of the group stage battles,

and it all comes down to this, because you could be in the final,

but you had to do one thing and you have to win.

We have to win from now to the end.

Do not think that this is beautifully defended?

You'll have great defences on this?

-Yeah.

-We'll have very thick metal covering it.

So it will be quite hard to make a hole in it.

But there is already a hole in it, though.

LAUGHTER

OK, so not impossible, is that what we're saying?

What we have to do is get round at the back of it

and get our claw in there and then it's pretty much finished.

We can't lose our nerve, can we, Will?

It's all nothing, we've got to go straight in for the kill.

Wish them luck, give a round of applause!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Soldier Ant.

APPLAUSE CONTINUES

Kadeena, the coolest chick in this arena,

because you're already through to the final.

Yeah, it means my heart stops racing, I can actually breathe!

You can chill out. And are you going to keep control?

I'm going to let Joah have a bit of fun

and see how much damage he can do.

-OK, so you're taking the reins this time.

-Yeah.

Right, what's the plan?

-Destroy stuff.

-Destroy stuff!

I mean, it's worked so far.

CHEERING

It's a simple tactic, but it seems to have worked.

Beautiful, give it up for Kadeena Machina, please!

CHEERING

Soldier Ant need a win here to survive.

And they'll have to dodge Killalot to do it too.

Three,

two,

one...

activate.

Kadeena only knows one way of life - go for gold, in everything she does.

Soldier Ant, that's good driving there,

Teddy and Archie at the controls.

Unlike Dee, they stayed away

from that mighty blade of Kadeena Machina,

one smash from the 16kg blade, and it will all be over for Soldier Ant.

There does go a bash.

Has that caused problems?

Up, up, up, up!

Down, down, down!

Down, down, down, they call, for the beak to come down, and it didn't.

Is there a problem with the hydraulic beak?

Came down very slowly, no damage caused to Kadeena Machina.

But major problems there, caused for Soldier Ant.

Oh, look at that, the tyre's been torn in two!

They can't move.

Kadeena Machina, poised to come in for the kill.

Damage to Soldier Ant's weaponry.

Get back, can you move backwards?

I can't!

They can't get back, Neil, they can't move!

Oh, out comes a link, they're dead now.

That's it.

Over and out.

KLAXON

Cease.

High-five.

-Well done.

-Well done.

What a shame for young Teddy, Archie and Neil.

-Oh, I think we're going out of the arena.

-Out of the arena they go.

Out of the competition they go.

And for the last time in competition,

we'll hear that great voice of Neil Oliver.

One of the great voices on TV.

Well, they danced away until that moment, then they were in trouble.

Look at the damage caused.

That is a fearsome weapon, and there, to the beak.

Can anything stop Kadeena Machina?

-Aw!

-We're bereft.

-We're bereft.

-Are you?

Initially, it was like a slightly odd mating ritual between you two,

doing circles around each other, it was all a little primal?

-It was a little bit dancey, wasn't it?

-It was.

How did you find controlling it?

-Quite difficult.

-Yeah.

But once you got used to the turns, you could get some good hits.

So was the wheel, demolishing the wheel, was that intentional?

Or was that just luck?

Well, our target was to try and demolish the wheel first,

and then hit all other parts.

You nailed it. Are you proud, Ellis?

Yeah, they've both done fantastically.

An absolute sweep, right into the final,

you should be feeling confident.

-Undefeated.

-Undefeated, for now.

-Guys...

-Devastated.

The beauty of this, it's another world

that the boys and me would never have had the chance to visit.

It's great, just a special opportunity.

As a mentor, you must be very proud?

These guys been absolutely amazing.

If they ever want to come and drive another robot,

they can join my team any day.

-Will you join the team?

-Yeah.

Yes, good work, well done, boys.

That is it, Kadeena Machina,

unbeaten in three matches and straight through to the final.

Can we hear it, please, for Kadeena Machina!

CHEERING

Thank you so much, guys.

After starting strongly, it wasn't to be for Soldier Ant.

But they're happy with their performance in the arena.

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

-Look at this, look at the claw.

-Literally in pieces!

All of our battles seem to last, like proper fights.

It wasn't an instant knock-down, we had a good combat,

we mixed it with the other competitors.

We gave a good account of ourselves.

If I wanted to lose to anyone,

I would have wanted to lose to that one.

-I think everyone's going to lose to that.

-Yeah.

But finalist Robbie still hasn't forgiven them

after their earlier bout.

You were so unlucky,

but you can watch me in the final. See you in a bit.

Awful.

Time to repair and rearm for the grand final.

For Kadeena Machina, despite looking unscathed,

there are worrying signs for mentor Ellis

that Kadeena's machine is showing wear and tear.

So, the crusher must have, at some point, grazed the belt,

which is very exposed.

It's actually revealed the cord,

so that very nearly would have broken through.

Fellow finalists Robo Savage face a much tougher challenge.

Battered and bruised, they'll need to box clever

against the lethal spinner to avoid any direct hits if they want to win.

It's been a steep learning curve for our four teams,

who have smashed their way through six battles.

But only one can lift the Battle Of The Stars trophy.

Both battle-hardened finalists want to win,

but who will emerge victorious?

Tonight's finalists are Robo Savage and Kadeena Machina.

It was a baptism of fire for Robo Savage in the arena,

but their modifications soon made them a match-winning machine.

First game, the flipper was only that long, mind.

You need a big flipper.

Now we've got one.

They flanked and flipped Soldier Ant,

leaving them to toast on the arena flames.

Against Team Dee, a controversial judges' decision

left them hungry for a win.

Team Dee.

ROWDY CELEBRATION

It's an injustice for Christmas.

It's an injustice, innit?

In the final, can their armour withstand the spin

of the Kadeena Machina?

-You're going to win, in't you?

-Yes.

-Yeah...

Confident as ever!

In the first battle,

Kadeena find it hard to control her deadly spinning disc.

I can't drive this bad boy!

But once tamed, it proved a formidable weapon,

and led to one of the shortest bouts in Robot Wars history.

Soldier Ant came close to crushing Kadeena's dream,

but a split-second mistake allowed Kadeena

to inflict a jaw-breaking hit.

We've got a great mentor and a great weapon.

We've got a good little driver.

Both robots are now proven in battle,

but which machine will steal victory in this Battle Of The Stars?

We are, probably, what, in a two-horse race, 50/1?

-I would say so, yeah.

-They're...

Anything can happen in that arena though, in fairness, anything.

After ruthlessly despatching the competition,

we now have our celebrity finalists.

The awesome spin of Kadeena Machina,

versus the powerful flipper of Robo Savage.

Only one can be Robot Wars champion.

The other is going home in a bin bag.

For the last time tonight, it's over to Jonathan.

Thanks Dara and Angela.

What a steep learning curve our celebs have had tonight.

Now well-seasoned robot fighters.

In our final, it's Shunt and Sir Killalot.

Let battle commence!

Roboteers, stand by.

We're in the final, wahey!

JONATHAN LAUGHS

You cannot keep him quiet.

It's tense.

Three,

two,

one...

activate.

Repaired, rearmed - now, Robbie, retreat, retreat, retreat!

Run away! Live to fight another day.

Is he back driving? Surely not.

Jake was the much better driver.

And Joah Cox is the undoubted star so far, the ten-year-old.

Oh!

-Go forward!

-I can't, I'm stuck.

Has that one blow...? Oh, look at the tyre!

They're out of it, from that one attack.

Couldn't dodge, couldn't get away,

and now, Kadeena Machina will be merciless.

-Robbie, your flipper!

-It's broke!

Pathetic.

JEERING

Here comes Jordan and the Dee Team.

The celebrations begin for Kadeena Machina.

CHEERING

-Well done, guys.

-Yeah, thank you.

Oh, no!

Just a toy.

Just a toy for Sir Killalot.

So much planning.

So much work.

It all came to destruction very early on, from the first attack.

Another blow, tyre shredded, wings buckled.

And another!

Mighty onslaught.

Welsh rarebit.

CHEERING

Aw, you know, after the journey you were on, Robbie,

and the journey Robo Savage was on,

we're sending him home in fragments to you.

Yeah, it's a team game, fantastic effort from all the guys.

And Jason, to repair our robot...

Genuinely, it took a miracle to get that thing back on its feet

every time. And you got this far, it's fantastic.

My kids are watching at home, we rung them before the final,

Uncle Matt, he's let them down.

LAUGHTER

To be fair, and I'll say this, I'll say this...

At Christmas!

Charlie, Freddie, I'm really sorry.

But, there's a winner.

There is a winner. I mean, Uncle Matt has destroyed Christmas.

Robbie Savage is crying - you made a grown man cry!

And he's used to losing!

I mean, I feel slightly bad now.

Oh, no, don't feel bad. I mean, all the way, a clear winner. Unbeaten.

Yeah, I don't like losing.

What was the secret, do you think, to the success of this team?

We had Ellis, who has been amazing.

He's polished it when it needed polishing.

Didn't need much work to it.

You know what, you have something else to polish.

-So exciting!

-This bad boy.

It's a bit heavy.

Can we get a round of applause, please, for Kadeena Machina!

CHEERING

I know!

Well done, well done, Joah and well done, Ellis.

Absolutely.

And I have no doubt Kadeena will treasure that almost as much

as her Olympic medals. Almost as much.

Congratulations to our winners, Kadeena Machina,

I think that would operate perfectly well in the genuine Robot Wars.

It would do very, very well.

That's it from all of us here,

we hope you've had a lovely Christmas,

we hope we've enjoyed this.

From all of us here at Robot Wars, good night.

APPLAUSE