2011 Ruth Jones' Christmas Cracker

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

'She's so inoffensive, she's offensive.

'Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host,

'the fabulous Ruth Jones!'

# So here she is Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just

# Begu-u-u-n. #

CHEERING

Ohh! Hello and welcome to my Christmas Cracker!

We've got a real festive feast for you on the show tonight.

Cockney comedy king, Micky Flanagan...

CHEERING

..all-singing, all-dancing, living legend, Lulu...

CHEERING

..music from the brilliant Manic Street Preachers...

CHEERING

..and in a second I'll be reunited

with my dear friend, the fabulous James Corden!

CHEERING

Hey, but what do you think about my houseband

and the fantastic Segue Sisters!

My first guest is an immensely talented actor, writer,

presenter and electrician.

LAUGHTER

Please welcome my dear, dear friend,

James Corden!

APPLAUSE

# Whatever I said Whatever I did I didn't mean it

# I just want you back for good Want you back

# Want you back Want you back for good

# Whenever I'm wrong Just tell me the song

# And I'll sing it

# We'll be right and understood

# Want you back, want you back

# See I want you back for good... #

CHEERING

Well, do you know what, it's come to something

when I have to invite you as a guest on to my chat show

to sit on the sofa and have a catch up!

I saw you last week!

See, he won't join in!

-No, I...

-I saw you for how long?

Only about half an hour.

Exactly! We used to spend hours together!

I know, it is weird, isn't it?

At the moment you are in this hit show in the West End,

One Man, Two Guvnors.

If you haven't seen it, it's amazing! Have a look at this.

I am my own worst enemy. Stop being negative.

I'm not negative. I'm being realistic.

I'll screw it up. I always do.

Who screws it up? You!

A role model for village idiots! Me? You're nothing!

You're the cock up! Don't you call me a cock up, you cock up!

LAUGHTER

You slapped me! Yes, I did! And I'm glad I did because...

Oh, ho, ho...that hurt!

Good, because you started it!

HE SCREAMS

HE CHOKES AND GASPS

APPLAUSE

It's so incredibly physical.

That's the thing I can't get over. Are you covered in bruises?

Yes... It's not all like that.

There are other people in it.

Yes, it hurts every night,

it really does.

I come on stage and within about two minutes, I have to roll

over the back of the sofa, there's that, there's a lot of running.

My legs often hurt, but they never really hurt when I'm doing it.

When I'm doing it, it's just great.

I'll be amazed if I ever play a better part.

It's an amazing role, and he is superb in it.

I am not just saying it, he's absolutely incredible in it.

Is it true you accepted it without even reading the play?

Nicholas Hytner...

Sir Nicholas Hytner, I should say,

..directed a play I was in called The History Boys,

and is the Artistic Director of the National Theatre...

-So weird me telling you this...

-I know!

You know the answers to all of these questions, you know all the answers.

This is so...it's the weirdest thing. It's like...

It's like you've been in a coma!

He called and said,

"Do you want to do a play in the National Theatre?" I said, "Yes."

And he said, "Don't you want to know what it is?" I said, "No."

The truth is, I think if you're an actor in Britain

and you get to work at the National Theatre, particularly with him,

you're one of the luckiest in the country. So next year in April,

we go to Broadway and we'll do the play there.

You're going to New York under different circumstances from last time

because you'll be going as a dad this time.

James has become a father!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

True. It's, um...

-How's that turning out?

-Great! Brilliant!

I have to say, because I am very proud of this,

but James and Jules have asked me to be godmother to baby Max.

APPLAUSE

And I've been thinking,

I am just wondering what you expect of me as a godmother.

Mostly financial!

LAUGHTER

As Max starts to speak,

he may start asking you quite awkward questions.

And so, I have written a few questions down to see...

-just to give you preparation, so you're ready with the answers.

-OK.

This is the kind of thing he might ask you.

Daddy, where do babies come from?

You should talk to your mum about that.

Daddy, why is water wet?

LAUGHTER

You should talk to your mum about that.

What's GDP expressed as a percentage of average earnings?

LAUGHTER

Average earnings? You should talk to your godmother about that!

APPLAUSE

Daddy, will they do another episode of Gavin and Stacey?

AUDIENCE: Yes!

Well, here's the thing!

I have looked at the prices of your schools!

Probably yeah! No...

CHEERING

The thing is, we do get asked that a lot... We're asked,

"Will there be any more Gavin and Stacey?" It's lovely to be asked.

I find it funny...cos I always say the same thing, which is true,

that we haven't had any time.

I think, the thing is, it's a big thing.

It's a big thing to go back to it.

The worst thing that could happen is we ruin this thing

that we're both so proud of.

I think we sort of decided we wouldn't write a series,

because it's gone on such a journey

and, if we were to go back, it would only be for a special.

I mean, I'm up for it, if you are.

Yeah. Shall we, then?

I think we will. I think...

CHEERING

You know that I'm quite keen to do a musical.

I think a musical version of Gavin and Stacey would be a good idea,

I really do.

-I think you're saying this for comedy effect.

-I do!

You would write a Gavin and Stacey musical

-and we'd do it in the West End or something?

-Definitely.

But what would the story be?

Well, we can come up with something!

Where would the houses be? The cars? You know...

That's the magic of theatre!

We'll get the audience to help us.

Give us a location, or a scene between Smithy and Nessa.

-AUDIENCE: On the island.

-On the island!

Give me a reason why Smithy and Nessa should get together.

AUDIENCE: They love each other!

They don't love each other! Have you ever seen it?

AUDIENCE: They have great sex!

Because they have great sex? OK!

LAUGHTER

We're going to join our band and see if we can come up with a song...

-This will either be brilliant, or the worst thing ever!

-Absolutely!

CHEERING

I feel like I'm on Whose Line Is It Anyway!

-We'll get in the mood, in character!

-This is a bad idea!

-I can't remember how to do the character!

-Go on, do some Nessa!

-Oh, what's occurring?

-Ohh!

CHEERING

Can you do some Smithy? You've done Smithy quite recently.

I do it all the time!

PIANO PLAYS

All right, Smithy? What's occurring?

-All right!

-What you doing on the island?

# This and that I'm doing this and that

# It's none of your business Get out of my face

# I don't know what you're doing here You're on my land

# This is my place this is my territory

# Don't go on about it

# I just came down to see the boy

# The boy he loves you no doubt

# He loves you no doubt

# He looks at you and he says my dad

# Yeah I love you But he's a Welsh boy

# Don't give me that

-# He's a Welsh boy

-He's English

# He don't want none of your Essex crap... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-That is a different tune.

-Let's have a mood change.

-You said all that Essex...?

-Yeah.

# Gavlar, oh Gavlar

# I miss you since you've moved down to Wales

-# Gavlar, I'm stuck with Pamelar

-Pamela

# And Mick and you are down there with those sheep shaggers

# What is this place called Billericay?

# It's full of people who are called Nicky... #

Eh?

# They are very hard and they are all very tricky... #

Nice.

# I don't want my boy growing up to be like that. #

Twat!

Oh, dear. We have to talk about the other big thing

-you have done this year which is your autobiography.

-Yeah.

James Corden May I Have Your Attention Please? Brilliant title.

A fantastic read, I have to say.

-I was touched that you read it. I really was.

-Can I be honest?

-I did first of all...

-Flick read it.

-No, I read it.

-You read your bits first.

I flicked to look at my bits. "What has he said about me?" Then I got engrossed.

You didn't put in the story about the squirrel. I love that story when you dressed up as a squirrel.

I wanted to tell it. It was a harvest festival and we all had to dress up

as different animals and we were going to march through the town.

I said, "Mum in two weeks I have got to be a squirrel."

Two weeks went by and the night before, I went, "Mum have you made my squirrel outfit?" She just went...

And I knew from the look on her face,

this was the first time she had thought about the squirrel outfit since the last time.

Cut to me in a brown jumper, a pair of my sister's brown leggings...

..shoe polish on my nose, with whiskers like this,

and then my mum, the final insult to injury,

my mum got a pair of her tights

and put one leg inside the other and put rolled up pairs of jeans

in the tights and safety pinned them to my arse. Right?

All I had was what could only have looked like

a huge poo dragging on the floor.

And my own trainers, white trainers. I turn up to school.

Some of them had big bushy tails with wire in them and little paws.

I was just in a brown tracksuit and it was dragging on the floor.

It was so bad that even the bullies

who would have jumped on an opportunity like that were looking at me going,

"His mum has done him over there."

Do you know what I mean?

-It's been lovely to have a chat with you. I don't get to chat with you that often.

-It's nice.

-Have you got any ambitions that you still want to achieve?

-Honestly?

-I want to write something else with you.

-Aw!

-Truly.

To get back into a room and try and think of some characters

and a story and try and tell it as well as we told the last one.

-That's what I would like to do.

-I hope that we get to do that as well.

James Corden, thank you so much.

My next guest has gone from being a Billingsgate fish porter to a sell-out stand-up.

Before we meet him let's have a look at him in action.

There are young men in this room who do not realise what

men my age have had to put up with.

We've seen everything change. We caught the fag end of when men were in charge.

Properly in charge.

"I've got a pair of bollocks and a day job - I must be in charge."

They used to walk about, doing nothing, walk about in their pants.

They would come home and put the money on the table and walk about in their pants.

My old man did nothing.

If he shut a cupboard door, he thought he was helping out.

"Shut that door for you, Sylvie!"

"I'm going down the pub for a week."

Micky Flanagan, ladies and gentlemen.

# Oh Micky you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind

# Hey, Micky

# Oh Micky what a pity you don't understand

# You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand

# Oh, Micky you're so pretty can't you understand?

# It's guys like you, Micky

# What you do Micky, do Micky Don't break my heart, Mickey. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you.

-You're looking fantastic.

-Oh, thanks.

-I have to say.

-Me mum got me ready.

-Really?!

-Done a better job than your mum!

Sounds a bit like lazy, doesn't she, his mum?

-You're just hugely successful now.

-Yeah, I know.

-Isn't it, your tour has been record-breaking?

-I know, yeah.

Yours was the fastest-selling comedy tickets since Eddie Izzard's live tour four years ago?

It's amazing, isn't it? If it carries on, I'm going to sign off!

I am! It's been murder getting back every other Tuesday.

And when the helicopter lands on top of the unemployment benefit office, it's causing a bit of suspicion.

Yeah. Do you get recognised a lot now?

I was in Brighton a couple of weeks ago. We took my little boy down and I put him on these motorbike things.

You know, so, I'm standing there,

a bloke went, "Can I have a photograph, mate?" And I went, "Yeah, all right."

I looked over at my friends, and I'm like, showbiz, you know.

Two minutes later, a bloke came over to me and went,

"I've just put 50p in one of the bikes, mate, they're not working over there".

I was like, "I don't work here, mate!"

Do you find now you're meeting all sorts of people?

Do you get star struck at all?

Do you know who I met? Kevin McCloud.

Isn't it strange the people that have really thrown me, because I've been watching him for years.

-On Grand Designs.

-In our house, he's a god.

The highlight of our week is if we stumble onto an episode of Grand Designs me and the wife ain't seen.

The tension in the room, it builds and builds.

It's just as good when it's one you have seen though!

And you know they've made a really great house.

It's nice because if you ain't seen it, it's always, is the glass going to turn up?

You look at each other halfway through and, "I can't take it, babe!

"All the way from Germany in two weeks.

"If that glass don't turn up before winter, the whole thing is going to be ruined."

Kevin McCloud, because when I met him I was like "I'm really pleased to meet you."

You say something stupid - "I've done my house up!" And he goes...

TAKES A DEEP SIGH

-You happened to mention your DVD. Again, fantastic.

-It's brilliant.

I mean we can't even discuss this, but I do love your theory

behind why there are so many teenage pregnancies these days compared to previous years.

Yes, there's less foreplay now, or what our parents would call heavy petting.

-Yes, yes.

-Basically, fingering has disappeared, hasn't it?

That's the truth of the matter.

The kids aren't interested. "Leave it out, I ain't fingering her.

"I ain't wasting my time fingering!"

It's true, it's absolutely true!

When I was at school, it was all about fingering.

No-one was thinking... No-one was thinking about sex! It was, like, not until we got to college.

At school, it was like, you'd just come in the next day,

"How did you get on?" "Fingered her."

But you also do talk about, erm, titting her up.

Yeah, I mean obviously you've got to do your titting up time.

-Which can be anywhere from three to six months.

-Yes.

Starting off over the jumper. Then you get under the jumper.

-But above the bra?

-Sometimes above the coat, if it's winter.

But eventually you get to hold her tit.

You don't know what to do with the tit. You walk home in a daze.

I've held a tit! It just makes me think, you know...

kids...it all goes through it too quickly, you know?

I mean I didn't have sex until I was like 27.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Let's talk about where you started off

because you've come to comedy a bit later.

Yes, I'm not a big rusher.

You started off as a fish porter in Billingsgate market.

My first job was as a Billingsgate fish porter, that was me at 17.

-You earned a lot of money doing it, didn't you?

-I did, yes.

-In 1980, I was earning £250 a week.

-That was a lot!

-Cor!

Talk about a catch!

-You also do a wonderful cockney walk.

-Yeah, I do, yeah.

I just wondered whether you'd share it with our lovely audience.

You want it to try and catch on?

-Yes, because we don't really have a walk in Wales.

-Do you not?

-No.

My friend Gillian does a walk that looks like she's just baked a sponge.

-Yes, all right. Let me just give that one a little try.

-OK.

What's the point? You bake a sponge cake...

No one comes round.

-Oi oi!

-I've got a few little props there.

Fish, now you know about fish, it can be very dangerous if it isn't fresh.

The things to look out for are the very bright eyes,

clear, healthy, firm skin, not too smelly.

Same sort of criteria you'd use for a one-night stand.

So the cockney has got a few walks. I can take you through the main three, right?

Your first one is your casual cockney walk.

This is just your Cockney walking about.

Nothing special going on, just walking about.

This tends to attract women.

Women start looking over, they think, "He looks reliable."

I bet he'd come home every now and then, that one.

That's just your casual cockney walk.

There's a slightly tough...

If the cockney feels threatened, he'll widen slightly.

This is when the cockney is under threat. The gait will widen.

The head will drop a bit. Just a bit, a bit wider.

Your third one is for when the cockney is busy,

which he is sometimes. Not very often.

This is slightly more with the shoulders.

APPLAUSE

Thank you!

Were you the class clown? They were all, "He was the class clown!"

And then you become a stand-up comedian? Was that the case for you?

I mean everyone was a clown. Everyone did whatever they could.

The chief things in school were to try to get the teacher to either cry or attack another pupil.

This was the genuine aim of the pupil, if we could just get him to break down

or possibly attack one of the weaker children.

In metalwork once, what I thought would be really funny

is every time the metalwork teacher finished the sentence, I went, "Hmm."

Ah, it was killing! We were getting massive laughs!

The metalwork teacher, nice fella, Mr Filmer, in his 50s, 60s, decent, good bloke.

He just walked past. Bosh, right up.

Decked me on the floor.

I went, "Ughh!" and he went, "Hmmm."

What were your classmates like? Was there a lot of ambition to...?

No, school was somewhere they sent us before we went to work.

And I've said many times,

the careers officer turned up, Christ knows what he thought he was doing,

but he stood there, asked us what we wanted to do with our lives,

and this is the absolute truth - the most ambitious kid in the class

was a kid called Gary Hutton because he wanted to drive a van.

"Sir, I'm going to drive a van!"

We were all like, "You dreamer, Hutton!

"You ain't gonna drive a van, man!

"You know why we is here, we is here to carry the stuff TO the van!"

When I was in school, I was... I was head girl.

I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to be ashamed, I was head girl.

-There's me, there. I look like I've just baked a sponge there!

-You do!

-James, do you think we'd have got on in school?

-We'd have got on because of the school play.

So we'd have got on for about six weeks a year.

Aww! I think I'd have gone more for Micky

because he was more my age group,

and also I'd have gone for his fashion sense, I think.

-Aww.

-Look at that!

-Sweet!

There wasn't one single natural fibre in that jumper!

I used to internally combust. I was like, if you put that jumper on me,

I'd go, "Mum, I'll be hot in about three seconds!"

"Go on, put that on, you'll be all right."

-What's Christmas going to be like for you?

-I'll be drunk most of it.

-Drunk.

I like Christmas, it's the only time you can have a glass of champagne at half past nine in the morning.

-And people frown upon you if you don't.

-Yeah, they go, "Drink?"

-You go, "No, you're all right."

-Come on, it's Christmas!

-Party pooper!

It's very much my wife's mum comes round and she cooks the dinner.

She's a really nice woman because she's... She's a psychiatrist

and she's serenity personified.

I've been with her when we've been in car accidents,

I've been to her home when it's been burgled,

she just goes..."Part of life."

She came round to do the dinner one day, I heard her say, "You wanker!"

I went in, I went, "Hilary, what's the matter?"

She went, "The cauliflower cheese has not browned off."

-That's what broke her, the cauliflower cheese.

-Really?

Yes, she just got to such a pitch.

She took it out the oven, and she was like, "Wanker!"

Your little boy, how will you keep him entertained over Christmas?

I'm going to be really creative, I'm going to think things through,

-and put him in front of the telly. Can I tell you a little story?

-Yes.

It's a little bit odd because you know... I was watching the news,

you know when the Gaddafi thing was going on? It was horrible footage.

-Hmm.

-My wife brought him in from school. I'd gone to the toilet,

and when I came back he was watching the Gaddafi footage. He was a bit shaken up.

He said, "Daddy, what has that man done?"

I said, "Well the thing is, son, that crowd have just found out that, when he was a little boy,

"he used to get his parents up really early in the morning.

"They're not having it, son. They're not having it." He said, "I'll take some colouring to bed with me."

I said, "Now you're thinking, son, now you're thinking."

-What does next year hold for you at the moment?

-I'm going to write the book.

-Are you?

-They've asked me to write a book, yes.

-An autobiography?

-Yes.

I'm going to have to be very careful.

-Mmmm.

-I don't want to end up being called Supergrass!

Every East End face is gonna be straight... "If he's grassed me up, I'll have his legs!"

So I'm going to enjoy doing it. I think people are interested.

You do something really well, and for some reason people go,

"Could you just fill in the gaps for us?"

So I'm looking forward to it.

I look forward to reading it when you've written it.

Ladies and gentlemen, Micky Flanagan.

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

My next guest has been a huge star for five decades.

I'm really excited to have her on the show.

Please give a massive Welsh welcome to Lulu!

APPLAUSE

# You can dance, you can jive

# Having the time of your life

# Ooh, see that girl Watch that scene

# Diggin' the dancing queen

# Diggin' the dancing queen

# Diggin' the dancing queen! #

Can I just say, your achievements - there's not enough room to write them down. Amazing.

A child star at the age of 15,

you've released more than 20 albums and 70 singles,

you've sung the theme to a James Bond film, won the Eurovision Song contest,

and you hosted your own chat show. Do you ever think,

"I could have done a bit more!"?

MICKY: Lazy!

Yeah, definitely. I've just been sitting on my laurels.

But absolutely incredible career.

-The crazy thing is, I still think there's more to do.

-Yeah. Good!

I'm not the kind of person who does think that it's over.

No, we haven't had enough of her yet, have we?

15 when you started - it must have been quite a scary environment

for a 15-year-old girl.

I wanted to be an R&B singer, rock'n'roll,

I did not want to be a pop singer.

I tried to be true to myself,

and then I worked with the record executives and producers

and people who thought I should do certain things. I disagreed with them.

That was tough for me, and I would go home and cry all the time.

But I would sort of agree to do it.

But you knew your own mind at that age. You knew what you wanted to do.

Yes, I did, but it's hard when you're 15.

But of course, a lot of the things I was guided to do

that initially I didn't want to do, were successful, so I clocked that.

I clocked that.

I think I learned a lot from being in the business at such a young age.

You're from Glasgow originally. My Welsh accent kind of comes and goes.

Does your Scottish accent come and go?

As soon as I hear him talk Cockney, I want to go right into it.

When I was in To Sir, With Love, which is a film I did when I was 16,

I had a very thick Scottish accent.

And it was set in the East End of London,

so the first week of filming, I decided I'm going to get this accent, ain't I!

-IN COCKNEY ACCENT:

-I want to talk like them! I'm not going to talk like I do.

That would make me different.

So I realised quite quickly I could do accents.

You mentioned To Sir, With Love - that was a big influence on you, wasn't it, that film?

It was. When I was thinking about being a schoolteacher,

those films rung in my mind.

The ones where you win the kids over.

-And Sidney PWA-tier, which is how you have to say it...

-Sidney PWA-tier!

PWA-tier!

You can't say Sidney Potter, as I think Del Boy did once!

It was based on an East End school,

and I thought, "I'll go in and be like Sidney PWA-tier."

-It didn't work out.

-It didn't work!

One of them done a poo in my desk.

You've worked with some incredible names in your time.

-I've been around a long time.

-The Beatles! Tom Jones.

-Yes, Tom.

-Michael Caine. What was it like working with them?

-I worked with...

-With James - the best, obviously.

-The best! When he was a baby!

It was called Whatever Happened To Harold Smith?

-I played Lulu's love interest.

-Did you?! Really?

I played her son's best friend.

-Were you a MILF?

-A MILF?!

-LAUGHTER

Did you have to kiss and everything?

-No, I had to squeeze Lulu's bum. It was terrific.

-A little bit was left to the imagination,

-which is the way I like it.

-Leave them wanting more.

We were talking about the people you worked with, and about being star-struck.

-When you worked with people like the Beatles, were you a bit overwhelmed?

-I was, I was just 15.

But they were so nice to me.

I mean, all the people I worked with, whether it was Jimi Hendrix,

whether it was The Who, or The Beatles or The Stones,

-they used to pat me on the head. I was the little one.

-Awww!

I know you've been asked about where the name Lulu comes from millions of times.

But I bet you've never been asked it in Welsh. So here goes....

Mae diddordeb mawr 'da fi mewn enwau. O le ddaeth yr enw Lulu?

SHE MOUTHS AUDIENCE: Ooooh!

-Beautiful! Beautiful.

-Where does it come from?

My manager, the woman who discovered me when I was 15,

said I was a lulu of a kid.

I think it's an American expression, it means something's great.

Can I say something as well, in bingo, if you go "House!"

and they come over and check your numbers and they're wrong,

it's a lulu.

-SHE SQUEALS

-Is it?

-I think he's lying. Is that true?

Often the woman will be checking, and she'll go, "Sorry, it's a lulu!"

-I went out with a girl once who called her...a Lulu.

-Did she?

-Really?!

I said, "Where are you off to?" She said, "I'm off to get my lulu waxed."

No!

-I'm not a big Strictly fan, I don't follow it that well.

-Neither did I!

-But you did incredibly well.

-Thank you. I've always loved to dance.

My brothers and sister and my parents...

My parents met in a dancehall. We all loved to dance.

I'd been asked to do Strictly before, but at this point

I think I was lulled into a false sense of security and thought,

"You know, I could probably do that."

-But I loved it.

-Are you glad you did it?

I would do it again,

for the absolute exhilaration

and the physical adrenaline, and the learning.

I wanted to learn to dance, and I thought, I've got a chance.

I think I was in for about six weeks all in all.

-You did incredibly, didn't she?

-I really enjoyed it.

-APPLAUSE

Do you think that, as a Scot, that...

I always want to call it "Mahogmanay"!

I like that! I'm going to do that from now on! Mahogmanay!

Do you think Hogmanay is more important than Christmas?

I don't know if it's more important. But I think to a lot of Scots it is, yes.

As a child, we used to have Christmas for the kids.

I know a lot of it is for the kids,

but basically it was absolutely for the kids,

then you did nothing but wash, clean and cook and get everything ready.

They go mental up there.

-IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-They go mental! We're all going Scottish now!

It's true. Nobody celebrates Hogmanay the way they do in Scotland.

-I think it's something to do with the drinking. They love a drink.

-No!

I noticed it when I was there, when I was coming out of the pub at six in the morning!

-They don't do that!

-Someone passed me and called me a lightweight!

Before we finish tonight, me and the audience have done a special little thing for you.

You've got your iconic opening to the song Shout, which is that...

# We-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ell... #

Very good!

If someone just tuned in at that moment, they'd go, "Oh, the TV's gubbed."

-Me and the audience have prepared a Welsh one for you.

-Awww!

It's a Welsh version, a Welsh opening to the song Shout. Here we go.

-That's original.

-One, two, three.

-IN STRONG WELSH ACCENT: Well...

-You know you make me want to shout.

-That's so sweet!

-Is the Welsh version.

That is the most original thing, because everywhere I go,

people want me to do that bit, and I go, "Och, not again!"

-We've done it for YOU. We brought it to you instead.

-Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, the sensational Lulu!

APPLAUSE

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.

A big thank you to you all for watching.

Thanks to my house band and the Segue sisters.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-And of course, to my fabulous guests. To Lulu!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-To Micky Flanagan.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-And to James Corden!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

And to play us out tonight,

celebrating an incredible 21 years in the charts, here they are

with their current single This Is The Day, it's the Manic Street Preachers.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

# You didn't wake up this morning cos you didn't go to bed

# You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red

# The calendar on your wall

# Is ticking the days off

# You've been reading some old letters

# You smile and you think how much you've changed

# And all the money in the world

# Couldn't bring back those days

# You pull back the curtains and the sun burns into your eyes

# You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky

# This is the day your life will surely change

# This is the day when things fall into place

# You could've done anything if you'd wanted

# And all your friends and family think that you're lucky

# But the side of you they'll never see

# Is when you're left alone with the memories

# That hold your life together

# Together like glue

# You pull back the curtains And the sun burns into your eyes

# You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky

# This is the day your life will surely change

# This is the day when things fall into place

# This is the day your life will surely change

# This is the day when things fall into place

# This is the day

# This is the day. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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