Episode 2 Sport Relief's Top Dog

72 dogs,

24 celebrity team captains...

LAUGHTER

-AUDIENCE:

-Aw!

..and one big tournament to find...

..Sport Relief's Top Dog.

On tonight's show, Team Deena.

Deena Payne, best known for playing Viv Hope in Emmerdale,

and her pet Labrador, Mickie Pink,

are joined by paediatric nurse Claire Moon from Bedfordshire

and her working dog Magic,

a Labrador who's a medical alert assistant,

and receptionist Elaine Ryan from Wirral

and her pet dog Millie,

a Great Dane.

They're taking on Team Chris.

Chris Hollins, TV presenter and journalist,

and his pet miniature dachshund, Winnie, are joined by

youth worker Lorna White from Leicester

and her dog Yoshi,

a terrier cross working as a therapy dog,

and builder Danny Ewing from Devon,

and his pet dog Bailey,

a collie cross.

It's time for our two teams to go head-to-head

in Sport Relief's Top Dog.

BARKING

# Woof-woof-woof woof

# Woof-woof-woof woof

# Woof-woof-woof woof

# Woof-woof-woof woof

# Woof-woof-woof woof

# Woof-woof-woof woof

# Woof-woof-woof woof. #

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Gaby Roslin.

Hello. Good evening and welcome to Sport Relief's Top Dog,

where a man's best friend take centre stage,

strutting their stuff in aid of Sport Relief.

APPLAUSE

OK, it's time

to meet team captain Chris.

-Hello.

-Why are you looking like that, Chris?

I was about to give you a really nice hello! You went, "Hello."

I'm nervous. Very nervous.

Why are you nervous?

This dog lacks focus, as you see.

Come here, Winnie.

She's a lovely little dog.

-Don't listen to what he's saying.

-We're training her, gradually.

-OK.

-Yeah, we don't want to go too quickly too soon.

-How far have you got?

Sitting.

LAUGHTER

-Staying-ish.

-OK.

And, "Please come back", but if I've got that little yellow ball,

-it's just...

-Everything's OK?

-Oh, everything, it's hypnotic,

-so it's going to be good fun.

-Chris Hollins! And Winnie!

APPLAUSE

-Hello, Lorna.

-Hello. This is Yoshi.

-Tell me about Yoshi.

I got Yoshi at about six months from the RSPCA as a rescue.

He's a therapy dog now,

so we twice a week go and visit a neurological and special care unit

with him, where he gets to go and see the patients.

That's so wonderful. Thank you very much!

APPLAUSE

Hello, Daniel. Hello.

-Hi.

-Introduce us to this beautiful, gentle dog. Look at you.

This is Bailey. He's three and a half years old

and he's also a rescue dog from the Dogs Trust.

-Do they know why he was there?

-He was found as a stray.

We were volunteer dog walkers there and we took him on a few walks

and fell in love, so took him home.

Didn't really know any commands, but he's come on really, really well.

Thank you very much, Daniel, everyone! Team Chris!

APPLAUSE

So now we have Deena,

because we have captain Deena for Team Deena,

from Emmerdale and many other things as well,

but please introduce us to this beautiful animal.

This is Mickie Pink,

and I like the singer Pink,

so I decided to call her Pink,

but that didn't go down too well with my son and my husband

when they were walking the dog and calling out, "Pink".

-They didn't like it?

-Not really.

-So we called...

-That's where Mickie came?

-Mickie Pink.

-Aw!

She's absolutely loving. I think it's because she was born at home

and she doesn't know anything else, and she thinks I'm her mum.

-How lovely. I wish you the very best of luck.

-Thank you.

Thank you very much, Deena!

APPLAUSE

OK, joining Team Deena, we have Claire

and now, Claire, please introduce us

-to this truly amazing dog. You are.

-This is Magic.

-You really are.

I have type I diabetes and when my blood sugar drops too low,

I don't actually recognise the warning signs any more,

so I would just collapse and become unconscious,

so this young man actually alerts me before that happens

so he actually stops me becoming unconscious

and effectively saves my life.

-That is incredible.

-He's an amazing chap.

Such an amazing dog.

-Very best of luck.

-Thank you.

-Thank you very much indeed.

APPLAUSE

Now, we have Elaine.

-Who is this, Elaine?

-This is Millie and she's five and a half years old.

It is a Great Dane a lot of work?

No, no, not at all.

She has been a star. She's been really easy.

-Apparently they're really good to have in a flat. Is that true?

-Erm...

-They always call them flat dogs.

-Flat dogs!

-They call them flat dogs.

Well, they can be couch potatoes.

She loves the couch, that's what she's got as a bed, but...

-She's got that as a bed?

-Yeah.

-We had to get rid of the dining room table so we could get a bed in!

-No!

You're taking over the place.

Wonderful. Thank you very much. Let's hear it for Team Deena!

APPLAUSE

OK, while the contestants pause for a quick yawn

and a quick lick of their hindquarters, we're ready

for our first game, which involves a careful aim and an early bath.

Lets' play Slam Dunk Splash.

Now, this game involves a basketball, a basketball net

and a great pool of water.

In a fine display of teamwork,

the dog and handler must score as many baskets as possible.

Once the handler has taken their shot, they must send their dog

into the water to retrieve the ball before they can shoot again.

The team with the most baskets wins.

Now, we flipped a coin to see who's going first,

-so Claire and Magic, off you go to get ready.

-Come on.

APPLAUSE

Now, throwing himself in at the deep end is our water expert Dave Pugh.

Give us a wave, Dave.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, good luck, Magic. Are you ready?

-Yep.

-On your barks,

get set, go.

Come on!

COMMENTATOR: So, Magic's doing his bit, retrieving the ball each time.

Now Claire just needs to start scoring some more baskets.

See if you can get a basket. Yes!

Come on! Good boy.

Now, the quicker Magic gets that ball back,

the more baskets Claire can score in the time limit

to earn valuable points.

Go on, Magic! Come on!

They're really hit their rhythm here.

Claire and Magic are on fire.

Good boy!

Come on! Good boy!

Three baskets so far. You're doing fantastically well.

Oh!

Good fella!

That's three baskets, but with time running out,

is that going to be enough?

You've got 20 seconds left. You might be able to get a final basket.

-Oh!

-Come on, Magic, come on, fella!

TIMER BEEPS

APPLAUSE

Good boy!

Now, there were some hits, there were some misses,

but Magic showed that overall, he's very confident in the water.

Claire, well done. You scored three baskets. Magic, you were magic.

OK, let's see if Bailey can beat three baskets.

-Daniel, are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Ready?

-I'm ready.

-OK.

-On your barks...

-Get ready.

Get set, go!

Good boy! Get in!

Good boy. This way.

Well done!

Got to wait for the ball to be thrown in.

Can you get another basket? Yes!

Collies, as a breed, have water-resistant undercoats

but it looks like Bailey's coat isn't the only part of him

resistant to water. Looking a bit timid there.

Let's see if you can get one more basket.

Yes!

Wow! What a lunge.

Now can she get back in time to let him shoot again?

TIMER BEEPS

Bailey started out timidly,

but he quickly showed us he was braver than he looked.

Many congratulations. You also got three baskets.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That means, then, we now have a tie-break situation.

I'm going to ask you a multiple choice question.

You've both got your squeakers. Can we hear yours, Daniel?

IT SQUEAKS

Thank you. Can we hear yours?

IT QUACKS

LAUGHTER

Here is your tie-break question.

Which of these dogs is not a member of the terrier breed group?

A - Staffordshire bull terrier?

B - Tibetan terrier?

C - border terrier?

SQUEAKING

I'd say B - Tibetan terrier.

You're right!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done! That means Chris's team win the first game. Congratulations!

Now of you all go to get yourselves dried off.

-Thank you very much indeed. Well done.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

So, while they're getting a towel down and a blow dry,

let's have some fun watching, yes, my favourite bit -

the wet dog shaggy shake.

MUSIC: "Shake Your Groove Thing" by Peaches

# Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah

# Show 'em how we do it now

# Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah

# Show 'em how we do it now. #

But we couldn't possibly bear witness to tonight's events

without the watchful eyes of our experts.

Reena Patel is our resident vet

and senior clinician at her local practice.

Roy Dyer is our canine consultant.

He's been training dogs for over 50 years.

Kristina Glover is a veterinary- approved pet behaviour counsellor.

David Pugh trains dogs to swim and save lives.

And alongside him is

his apprentice, Ellie Bedford.

APPLAUSE

Now, it's time for our second game, which is all about retrieval.

In this game, they must send their dog to collect a rolled-up paper

which will be delivered by our canine expert Roy,

and for now, he's Roy the Paperboy!

APPLAUSE

Now, the team with the most papers in the basket at the end of the game

is declared the winner.

-Let's play Newshound.

-Come on.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

OK, on your barks, get set,

-go.

-Get it. Get it!

-Paper!

-Fetch it! Fetch it!

Fetch it, Yosh, bring it in.

-What's this?

-No, don't read it!

-Oh!

-Get it, get it!

Bring it! Good boy!

Drop. Drop!

Good boy! Bring it. Bring it.

-Good boy.

-Drop.

-Paper here.

Get it!

Good boy, Yoshi!

Bring it. What's this?

-He wants to eat that one.

-Come on!

Good boy! Drop!

Of course, terriers were originally bred to hunt and kill vermin.

You can really see that instinct

being taken out on that newspaper by Yoshi.

Yoshi, fetch it!

Get it, get it! Come on!

To win this round, Yoshi is going to need to bring more papers to Lorna

than their opposition within the time limit.

Bring it. What's this? Yoshi, what's this? Bring, bring, bring!

TIMER BEEPS

Well done.

A great round. A high score from Yoshi.

Well done. Delivered six newspapers.

-Well done, Yoshi.

-Well done, Yosh.

OK, let's see what Elaine and Millie can do. Are you ready?

On your barks, get set, go.

Come on, Millie. Come on.

Fetch it, Mil. Here!

-Millie, come.

-Go on, Millie, take it to Elaine.

-Come on, Mil. Here.

-Go on.

Come on.

Go fetch, go, fetch.

Hold. Come on, Mil! Whoa, whoa!

Come on. Come, come, come. Millie, come on. Here.

Thank you! Go fetch!

Millie, go fetch! Go on.

Come on, Mils! Here, here, here.

Hold. Come on, what's this?

Come on, fetch.

Digesting the day's news, there.

Hold it, Mil. Come on, Mil. Millie!

Well, Great Danes are known for being gentle and loving,

but I think that Millie's loving that newspaper a little too much.

Go fetch, go on, go fetch. Go on!

TIMER BEEPS

An A for effort, so the score to beat was six. Has Millie done enough?

Oh! Millie managed to deliver four papers.

Well done, Millie.

APPLAUSE

But that means Team Chris

are in the lead 2-0!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, all of our contestants here tonight have given up their time

for Sport Relief, and there are many projects both here in the UK

and across the world that are supported by your donations.

Last year, Oritse from JLS and his partner AJ

travelled to Uganda to see how your money is making a difference.

AFRICAN SINGING

We've come to Uganda to see the Kadama Widows Association,

set up to help support those affected by HIV.

Having fled the war from northern Uganda,

Rachel and one of her sons, Cyrus, fell seriously ill.

They were both diagnosed with HIV

and when her husband found out, he abandoned them.

Thanks to funding for Kadama Widows,

Rachel was able to attend a support group for women affected by HIV.

It transformed her life.

With your help, Kadama Widows

has really helped Rachel and Cyrus through their illness.

Rachel has now been trained in growing vegetables, which means

she can provide for her family and do the things she wants to in life.

Improving the quality of life for people affected by HIV

is just one of the ways Sport Relief money is able to help empower

the poorest communities across Africa.

MAN READS TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Please do text if you can.

Each and every text is really appreciated, so thank you so much.

Now it's time for the next game

and time for our celebrity team captains.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So for this next game,

all they have to do is place their dog

on our very own Temptation Island,

where they must stay for the duration of the game.

However, the dog will face a barrage of distractions and temptations

from the other team to get them to leave the island.

If they do leave the island,

their owner will be in for a little surprise.

The team who can who can resist the most temptations are the winners,

so let's play Desert Island Sit.

-OK, Deena, are you ready?

-Yeah.

-On your barks, get set, go.

-Stay, stay, stay.

The first temptation is a tennis ball.

-Oh, well done! That's a point.

-Chris is doing his best.

How about a bigger ball?

Stay, stay.

Is she going to be able to resist a cat on a car?

-There goes the cat.

-Stay, stay, stay.

Got to bring it back again.

Stay, stay, stay...

Now they do say that repetition is the mother of learning.

If that's the case, Deena will have Mickie Pink passing her

A levels before the end of this round.

Stay, stay...

OK, now we've got the last one, which is a toy chicken leg

and some real food.

If she passes this...

Chicken dinner to go, anyone?

-Stay, stay, stay...

-Oh, look at the temptation.

Stay, stay, stay! Mickie, stay. I love you!

Well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You've got to bring it back.

You've got to bring it back again. Quickly, go and sit down.

-Don't look. It's gone past. It's brilliant.

-Well done.

That was absolutely brilliant.

You scored the maximum six points there.

-Now...

-Good girl.

..Chris, now you know what has to be done.

You set a very, very high standard there.

OK, are you ready? Right. On your barks, get set, go.

Right, look at me, look at me. Stay.

Now Chris is the first to admit

that Winnie is not the best behaved dog in the world.

It looks like he's right.

-AUDIENCE:

-Aw!

Good girl. Stay.

I'm sitting down. Stay. Good girl.

Winnie has left the island,

which means Chris is about to get that surprise they were promised.

LAUGHTER

Whichever dog resists the most temptations overall

will win this game.

-It was over the line.

-You have to stay seated.

-You have to stay seated.

-It was over the line.

LAUGHTER

You're not allowed to leave that seat, I'm afraid.

There we go, bye-bye, Chris. Off you go.

LAUGHTER

Right, Winnie, you've got one last chance.

Chicken, you don't like chicken.

You know what? The cat's bigger than Winnie.

It's good. You weren't distracted at all. That was good.

So out of six points, you've got...none so far.

OK. Now you don't like chicken. Focus. Get this, I really want this.

-Stay.

-We've got to have you seated first.

-Stay.

I know, I've just got to get her to stay first.

That's it. Just stay and don't even look.

WINNIE BARKS

LAUGHTER

DING-DING

Time up.

Well done.

Well done to Mickie Pink, resisted six temptations,

and Winnie resisted...

..zero.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

Don't even look at me.

LAUGHTER

Now, Team Deena are the winners of that round, well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So now let's have a look. What does that do to the overall score?

Team Chris, you're still in the led by 2-1, so well done.

-Well done, you guys.

-Well done.

And that 2-1 lead of theirs will earn them

a very handy time advantage in the final deciding game.

Yes, it's time for The Bark Off.

This is a relay race. The course will be completed one dog at a time.

Now if an obstacle is refused or incorrectly cleared,

then they'll hear this sound...

-BUZZER

-Thank you.

They will only get two attempts at each obstacle.

They cannot move on until they hear this sound...

DING

The team that completes the course in the fastest time

will take overall victory

and be in with a chance of going through to the grand final.

-OOHING

-Thank you.

Team Chris, they're in the lead,

which means that Team Deena have the pressure of going first.

Because they're lagging behind two games to one,

they'll be starting their run with 15 seconds

already added to the clock.

It's time now to play The Bark Off.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Team Deena, are you ready?

-Yes.

-On your barks, get set, go.

Elaine and Millie starting it off with a leap over Stonehenge

and a crossing of Tower Bridge.

Millie squeezing through there no problem.

Millie's next challenge is to get her head around the roundabout obstacle.

-Get there and stay for three seconds.

-Sit. Stay, stay.

DING Commendable obedience there.

Millie is definitely using her size to her advantage

over the Sherwood Forest Jumps.

Weave. Weave, weave.

Oh, wow!

Now Elaine has taken Millie to agility training in the past,

and you can really see that coming into play here.

Sit there for five seconds.

Stay. Stay.

BUZZER As a Great Dane,

Millie is too heavy to pull,

so she needs to stay in the boat for five seconds

-while Elaine stands by the crank in order to pass this obstacle.

-Stay.

-Stay.

-Five seconds staying here.

Stay.

Stay.

Stay.

-DING

-You get to move on. Well done.

Again, Millie shows us that Hadrian's Wall

and the Forth Bridge are no obstacle for a dog her size.

It's a great finish for a Great Dane.

Mag, go on.

Magic's off to a spectacular start.

Oh, dear, looks like he prefers the crowds above ground

to taking the tube.

You have to go through over there.

Oh, dear. I think Magic's caught a whiff of his competition there.

Back on the tracks through the underground.

CHEERING

Magic's been distracted again.

He'll have to keep his focus at the next obstacle though.

On to the podium.

-DING

-You can move on.

And he's done it.

Over the jumps.

Through the tunnel.

Claire's lagging behind Magic there.

Magic's rubbing it in by lapping her.

That's more like it.

Starting the Royal County Down Golf Course obstacle nicely.

He's threading his way through that weave very precisely.

Now pop him on the ferry, he's going to go across the Mersey.

I think Magic's smelled his opponent again.

That may well work to his advantage, you know.

# So ferry across the Mersey... #

Going backwards across the Mersey.

BUZZER

Oh, so close and yet so far.

He's going to need to complete that crossing

if he wants to pass this one.

A quick disembarkation and he's over the jumps for a good finish.

Team leader Deena and Mickie Pink making a strong start.

No issues at the crossing at the bridge.

Mickie Pink showing awesome control as she slides

straight from Tower Bridge to the Underground.

Sit, sit. Don't fall off.

Mickie's making use of the stop and sit to take a quick snack break.

Excellent multi-tasking there.

Messy dismount from Snowden there, but she saved it.

Deena's been ambitious taking Mickie on the weave.

She might have been better on the Giant's Causeway.

Oh, I'm exhausted.

Deena is feeling the burn, but Mickie Pink's keen to get moving,

especially if there's a treat in it.

Time to see how Mickie takes to the open water.

Stay.

BUZZER It looks like Mickie's

having a bit of difficulty finding her sea legs.

Sit.

Sit. Oh, wrong way.

# So ferry across the Mersey... #

It's the fastest ferry ride yet.

This way.

Deena shows her how it's done.

She's through John O'Groats, and a strong finish for Team Deena.

DING-DING

Well, well done, Team Deena.

I can tell you that your time was five minutes 33 seconds.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Well done!

OK, Team Chris, you know the time that you have to beat -

five minutes and 33 seconds.

-Are you ready to go?

-Yep.

On your barks, get set, go.

Daniel and Bailey make an explosively quick debut for Team Chris.

You can really see why Bailey has a grade three in agility - he is fast.

Sit, stay.

Oh, look at that.

DING Very well-behaved, it turns out.

Steaming through the Welsh train tunnel.

I don't think Mount Snowden's ever been scaled that fast before.

CHEERING

Well, that has to be the quickest we've seen that done yet.

Oh, that's the first time we've seen Bailey falter.

BUZZER And again.

That's more like it.

# So ferry... #

Overall, a great show from Bailey.

Lorna and Yoshi starting their cross-country tour of our great

nation with a swift bound across Tower Bridge

and a confident tube trip.

Wait. Sit.

Now when Lorna first got Yoshi, he was described to her as untrainable.

Just look at him now. DING

-Tunnel!

-This is fast!

-Tunnel!

Looking a little reluctant to take the helm there,

but no, he's on board for the challenge.

-Nice gentle ride.

-Ah-ah, down.

Oh, that's one dive.; Yoshi can't afford to get his feet wet again.

BUZZER No, he's determined to test

his doggy paddle in the Mersey.

Over the jumps then and the finish.

Team captain Chris and little Winnie starting now.

Not the strongest start we've seen, it has to be said.

And this one. And through.

Yes.

Unsurprisingly, Winnie goes for the lowest of the two Stonehenge jumps.

Steady, steady, steady.

Luckily Winnie doesn't seem to have a fear of heights.

Tower Bridge is looking very large for such a little dog.

No fear of claustrophobia for Winnie at Barking. Loads of room.

Cos you can't jump up. No laughing.

Right. Stay. Stay.

Stay.

You can stay now, but you couldn't stay earlier, could you?

-DING

-Go on.

Again, the smaller jump for WInnie.

This one. This one. Steady, steady Eddie. Steady. Steady.

Now, then. Here we go. Look.

And there.

Aw, look at Winnie!

And this way.

Chris keeping in constant communication with Winnie there.

And this way, and one more.

CHEERING

On to the ferry.

Right, you see your ball in there. It's hiding in there.

You'll never find it.

Ah, excellent plan.

Chris successfully pulling the wool over her eyes there.

She's completed the river crossing completely unawares.

-Two more jumps, Chris.

-One giant leap for WInnie.

And another.

Come on, Winnie, the clock's ticking.

Go through John on' Groats.

Oh, if she can just go through the obstacle they'd be finished.

-Look, over there, look.

-DING

She got it, and Chris is going through too. Lovely job.

Oh, that was a joy.

Now, the time to beat, you remember, five minutes 33 seconds.

I can now reveal that you managed yours, Team Chris, in the time of...

..four minutes for seconds.

Many congratulations, Team Chris!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done, everybody.

Huge congratulations for Team Chris for winning tonight's show,

but was it quick enough to win a place in the semifinals?

Only the fastest four winners will make it to the next round.

Remember, if you want to take part in all the fun and games this

Sport Relief, then please sign up for an event near you.

You can find all the details, fundraising ideas

and Sport Relief stuff to buy at...

Thanks to all our dogs and the owners for taking part,

and thank you so much for watching. We'll see you tomorrow.

Until then, good night.