Episode 9 Sport Relief's Top Dog

72 dogs...

..24 celebrity team captains...

AUDIENCE: Aw!

..and one big tournament to find

Sport Relief's Top Dog.

On tonight's show - Team Matt.

TV presenter Matt Allwright from BBC's Rogue Traders

and his Miniature Schnauzer Ozzy Ozbone are joined by -

Eryl, a professional singer from Wales,

and her Labrador cross Barney, who works with children in schools.

And Lesley, a PA from Loughborough,

with her pet sheepdog Whizz.

They're taking on Team Willie.

Team captain Willie Thorne, an ex-snooker player and commentator,

and his cocker spaniel Alfie are teaming up with -

John, a retired RAF dog handler from Staffordshire,

and his malinois Jimmy,

who works as a demo dog at a security training school.

And Hayley, a court worker from Preston,

with her pet working cocker spaniel Daisy.

It's time for our two teams to go head-to-head,

it's Sport Relief's Top Dog.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Gaby Roslin.

Good evening and welcome to Sport Relief's Top Dog -

the show where wags don't mean a week-long shopping trip.

Dogs are famous for being man's best friend,

but can they be man's best team-mate?

We're going to put that to the test.

In tonight's show, our dogs will be taking the plunge,

PAWsing for thought

and getting down to some top tunes, all in aid of Sport Relief.

As ever, our show will end in a spectacular style,

as our teams undergo the obstacle course that we call the Bark Off.

Lots of fun to be had tonight,

so let's get on with meeting tonight's first team.

Do you know what?

-The great Willie Thorne.

-Oh, dear.

-Hello, Alfie. Tell me about Alfie, please.

-Well, he's just a pet.

Barks a lot when the postman comes round, goes berserk.

-Sits on all the furniture.

-Oh, he's absolutely gorgeous.

You've got such a smiley, pretty face and nice hairstyle.

-I sort of try to look a little bit.

-I try to model him on mine.

-Let's hear it for the great WT and Alfie.

-Thank you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, John.

Now, introduce us to your magnificent dog.

This is Jimmy and he's a two-year-old malinois.

All the work with him, although he's a security dog,

he's been trained purely through play, not aggression.

So he'll do the job when he has to.

But when he doesn't have to do it then he's quite happy to sit

and watch what's going on.

Wonderful. Thank you very much.

-Now, hello, Hayley.

-Hello.

-And Daisy. This is your baby.

-She is, yeah.

-She really is, isn't she?

-She is.

Now she's very special to you.

Is it true you do some kissing thing with her?

-We do do kiss-kiss.

-Can we please see your kisses.

Daisy, kiss-kiss.

-That was tongues and everything.

-I know.

Now you take her... You say she really is your child, don't you?

She pretty much comes everywhere with me, yeah.

She's a... She's just a big baby so she has to.

Well, I wish you the very best of luck, Team Willie.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And for Team Matt, we have captain Matt. Hello.

Hello, Gaby, how are you?

-I'm very well, thank you. How are you?

-I'm very well.

Who is this, please?

This is Ozzy Ozbone.

LAUGHTER

He's my little rock'n'roll Schnauzer and he's just great.

But he doesn't really do what he's told, ever.

So goodness only knows what we're doing here.

-That's going to be very good for today.

-Yeah, he's a free spirit.

He's got a lot of energy, but, look, why wouldn't you want this dog?

Aw, let's hear it for Ozzy and team captain Matt.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Hello, Eryl.

-Hi.

-This is?

-Barney.

Hello, Barney. Now tell me all about the wonderful work that Barney does.

We go into secondary schools in the North Wales area and he works

with students with social, emotional and behavioural problems.

-He may do tricks for them.

-What sort of tricks?

The students' favourite is -

have you been bad? Have you been bad?

ALL: Aw!

Eryl and Barney!

-Hello, Lesley.

-Hello, Gaby.

Tell me all about Whizz.

Whizz is a ten-year-old working sheepdog. He's a rescue dog.

We've had him since he was three years old and we are his third home.

-Third?!

-Third.

-He was rescued as a puppy and then we were his third.

-Why was that?

-Abandoned puppy.

-Well, it's wonderful to meet you and him.

Let's hear it for Team Matt.

CHEERING

So we're all set for our first game of the evening.

Team Willie have chosen Hayley and Daisy,

and Team Matt have opted for Lesley and Whizz.

Let's play Buoy Zone.

As you can see, the pool has been divided into three areas.

The handler must throw the buoy to score points.

The further the buoy is thrown, the higher the score.

But, of course, the further the dog has to travel to retrieve it,

the more time it will cost them.

Points will be banked once the dog has brought the buoy

back to the handler. The team with the highest score is the winner.

We flipped a coin to see who's going first,

and as Lesley go off to get ready... Good luck.

..we can say hello to our canine water expert

standing by in the pool.

Please give us a wave, Dave.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Give it some welly, Ellie.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, they're in place and ready to begin. Good luck. Are you ready?

Are you OK? On your barks, get set, go.

Go, go, go!

Now Whizz's showpiece is he jumps through hoops in a swimming pool.

All our dogs have been chosen to take part in the challenges

most suited to them.

Ready, ready? Go.

-It's Whizz's second attempt and Lesley gives him a lot to do.

-Whizz!

But if he doggy-paddles back in time, it'll give him big points

because of that distance.

Now the aim of this challenge is the further the buoy is thrown,

the more points gained.

Points are only scored once the handler retrieves the buoy.

So the handler will think twice about how far they throw that buoy

because time is against them.

Another huge throw. The markers show that's 30 points.

Come on. Faster.

Come on.

-AUDIENCE:

-Come on, Whizz! Come on, Whizz!

With the crowd behind him it's giving Whizz that little extra incentive.

Another buoy retrieved, another point gained by Whizz and Lesley.

Ah, now it's a tactical short throw.

She's making sure he's back in time to get those extra points.

Come on, come on.

Well done.

Whizz and Lesley took the gamble with the big points early on

and then played it safe at the end, but will that safety go against them?

Well, congratulations. You just whispered to me

-that he likes all the audience participation.

-He does.

He's a bit of a showman.

He was loving it. OK, would you like to know how much you scored?

-I would indeed, Gaby, yeah.

-100!

-Yay!

Good boy.

OK, Hayley and Daisy, you have 100 to beat. On your barks, get set, go.

Now Daisy has a big task ahead following Whizz.

It's not going to help being so hesitant.

She's decided to go down the ramp, but she gets off with a lovely jump.

She's going to have to really up her game

if she wants to score big points.

Daisy, Daisy, go.

That buoy's been thrown a long distance,

so Daisy's going to have her work cut out,

but they're going to need it if they want to claw back some points.

Now cocker spaniels are very determined dogs.

I think we're starting to see this in her performance.

She seems to be getting into her stride with her dives.

For a dog that looked hesitant, you'd never know.

Again, Hayley puts Daisy through her paces

and sends her to get the big points, but remember,

she's got to get back if those points are to count.

That's perhaps her last throw.

Hayley's trying to sneak the points in.

TIME UP BUZZER

Oh, unfortunately not quite sneaky enough.

Daisy started off a little hesitant, but once she got going,

she never looked back.

The score to beat was 100.

-Do you want to know what you scored?

-Yes, please.

50, so well done to Daisy. Congratulations, Team Matt.

They now take the first game. Well done, Team Matt.

Now all dogs love a treat,

but how about a treat for all of you at home?

It's time for Daisy and Whizz to do the wet dog shaggy shake.

MUSIC: "Shake Your Groove Thing" By Peaches & Herb

Now, of course, the health and happiness of our dogs

is our number one priority, which is

why we have five fabulous experts to look after them.

Reena Patel is our resident vet

and senior clinician at her local practice.

Roy Dyer is our canine consultant.

He's been training dogs for over 50 years.

Kristina Glover is veterinary approved pet behaviour counsellor.

David Pugh trains dogs to swim and save lives.

Alongside him is his apprentice Ellie Bedford.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Time for our next game, and one in which speed is of the essence.

It's the turn of our celebrity team captains.

We have Willie and Alfie, and Matt and Ozzy.

Now the aim of this game is to travel down the line of blue

spots using the piece of road.

Each time the celebrity walks down the road, the dog has to sit

and stay, avoiding the temptation of the doggy muffins on the red spots.

The team that completes the course in the fastest time wins.

It's time to play Pawmula 1.

On your barks, get set, go.

Sit down, sit down, sit down.

OK, it's Willie and Alfie up first.

The aim of the game is to get from one blue spot to the other,

but only once the track is laid down.

Come here. Alfie, Alfie, no.

No, it looks like Alfie's given into temptation

and gone off course for a nibble.

Willie's going to have to get him focused.

So he's on the third spot, making up for his lost time early on.

Come on, Alfie. Good boy. Good boy.

Moving on to the fourth.

Ah, but again the distraction of the muffins has been too much for Alfie.

But Willie again gets his attention

and it's a final journey to the next blue spot to pocket this round.

A good effort.

Let's hope Alfie's muffin craving hasn't effected his timing too much.

Well done.

Well done to Alfie. OK, now the time that they have to beat...

-About three hours?

-No, you did really well. One minute six seconds.

Oh, well done, Alfie. Well done.

OK, Matt, you know what you and Ozzy have to do -

beat one minute six seconds.

I know you're one of the most competitive people I know.

-That's not true.

-Good luck.

On your barks, get set, go.

Stay. Ozzy, stay. Good boy.

Matthew describes Ozzy as very disobedient.

When it comes to food, he becomes even more of a rock'n'roll rebel.

Stay.

Matthew and Ozzy have a lot to do

if they're going to beat Willie and Alfie.

Let's hope he's not hungry.

Avoiding any muffin temptation, Ozzy wastes no time

and moves on to the second blue spot.

Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Come on, then.

Good boy.

Those muffins are still there,

and Ozzy's showing some amazing resistance.

Come on, then. Good boy.

Last bit to go.

One spot to go.

Can they CHEW some time off the clock?

Come on, then.

Good boy!

Oh, this is going to be close.

With no muffin pit stops needed, looks like a pretty good lap to me.

So, Matt, the time to beat was one minute six seconds.

You and Ozzy completed it in...

One minute 17 seconds.

Which means, at the end of our second game, it's 1-1.

Good boy, Alfie.

Now the reason that we're all here tonight is to support Sport Relief.

The money that is being raised will change the lives of some

of the most vulnerable people around the world and right here in the UK.

Conor is 21 and from Northern Ireland.

He has a rare, unstable form of diabetes - a condition which

means he can have dangerously low blood sugar at any time.

The dangers of Type 1 diabetes are that you can slip into this

state of hypo unawareness,

which means I need somebody there to be with me, to alert me,

to make sure that I don't choke or don't die, basically.

But instead of completely having to rely on other people,

thanks largely to his medical dog Maggie, Conor's been able to

lead an independent life.

Maggie is provided by Sport Relief funded charity

Northern Ireland Assistance Dogs.

She's trained to smell and to react to the unique scent Conor's

body gives off when his blood sugar levels drop dangerously.

It's a complete change in behaviour.

She'll stand up, she'll pause, she'll perhaps bark.

At night, she'll wake Conor.

With Maggie there, it just means that she can alert me

or alert somebody around me to make sure that they come to give me

the help that I need.

At the end of the day, it's potentially life-saving.

Your money is changing lives.

Maggie has enabled Conor to go to college

and live away from home for the first time.

Later this year he'll graduate, and so will Maggie.

To donate £5 to Sport Relief now...

HE READS TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Every text really can make a difference,

so please do give if you can.

Now it's time for game number three

and a challenge that requires a good ear and some good behaviour.

We have our final two to play.

For Team Willie we have John and Jimmy, and for Team Matt,

we have Eryl and Barney.

Now, in front of them are five well-known names of singers.

All they have to do is listen carefully to the piece of music

and match the song to the singer's name.

By the time they hear this noise...

DING

..the dog must be sitting in front of the relevant name

with their owner having returned to this red spot.

They'll get a point for each correct answer.

Let's get ready for The Hound Of Music.

-Eryl and Barney, are you ready?

-Yep.

On your barks, get set, go.

MUSIC: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga

Ready? Go.

First song is Poker Face, and Barney needs to sit in front of Lady Gaga.

But he's gone in the wrong direction. No point gained for that one.

MUSIC: "..Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears

Can Barney and Eryl work out who sings Hit Me, Baby, One More Time?

Yeah, Barney's not quite decided where to go.

Barney, quick, here, down. Here, lie down.

Eryl's going to need to get back in time

if she's going to make those points count.

-DING

-Yay! Barney, come. Barney.

Come.

That was Britney Spears.

MUSIC: "Roar" by Katy Perry

Right, that next song is called Roar.

Can Eryl get Barney to go to the right artist?

Yeah, it's not the camera crew.

You've got five seconds, again, to get back to the red spot.

Stay.

DING Point scored.

-Two points. That was Katy Perry.

-Yay. Barney, come.

In this game, a lot depends on the handler's music knowledge.

MUSIC: "I Will Always Love You" by Dolly Parton

With Eryl being a professional singer,

it should just be a case of directing Barney to the right spot.

Barney, down.

I Will Always Love You. Is it Dolly Parton?

Good. Good job.

DING

Well done. Dolly Parton. Another point.

MUSIC: "Hero" by Mariah Carey

This tune is called Hero. Can Barney be one himself?

He's going to need a bit of coaxing.

Down.

Wait.

Good. Good.

DING Mariah Carey. More points in the bag.

Barney responded well to Eryl's commands.

With four out of five, Barney has to hope the others are no music buffs.

-John and Jimmy, are you ready?

-Yep.

On your barks, get set, go.

MUSIC: "Dream A Little Dream" by Robbie Williams

Dream A Little Dream of me.

Remember they need to match the song with the artist.

Sit.

Is Jimmy heading to the right singer?

BUZZER

Dog stayed, but at the wrong artist, I'm afraid.

-Oh, no.

-That was Robbie Williams.

Oh, it's wrong, so they'll have to get every answer

right from now on if they're to stand any chance.

MUSIC: "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble

Haven't Met You Yet. Is this in Jimmy's music collection?

You've got five seconds.

John's making sure he gets Jimmy in the right spot.

Stay.

DING

Correct, it was Michael Buble.

Still all hanging in the balance.

MUSIC: "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake

This next tune is Mirrors. Who's this by?

Sit.

Jimmy gets on the spot with no help. This point should be scored.

-You get that one. It was Justin Timberlake.

-Good lad.

MUSIC: "Bat Out Of Hell" by Meat Loaf

Bat Out Of Hell. Is Jimmy a fan?

John's gone to help, but he needs to get back before the bell.

DING

It was Meat Loaf.

I'm sure Jimmy likes Meat Loaf.

MUSIC: "Crocodile Rock" by Elton John

So Crocodile Rock. They need to get this right

to match Barney and Eryl's score.

Final chance.

DING

And they've done it.

It was Elton John. Well done.

It's a tie, so these pet duets aren't finished yet.

OK.

You also scored four points,

which means we're at the tie-break situation.

Now, can I hear both of your squeakers, please?

-Could I hear yours?

-HIGHPITCHED SQUEAK

Thank you. Could I hear yours?

LOW-PITCHED SQUEAK

LAUGHTER

Which of these terrier breeds is known as the king of the terriers?

A - Irish. B - Airedale. C - Scottish.

LOW PITCHED SQUEAK

Airedale?

-It's correct.

-Yes!

Well done.

Team Matt has won that round.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Team Matt leads by two games to one.

Congratulations.

That 2-1 lead will earn them

a very handy time advantage as we arrive at the final deciding game.

Yes, it's time for the Bark Off.

As I'm sure you know by now,

in front of our teams are some classic British landmarks.

Each team must make their way from Land's End to John o' Groats.

Now if an obstacle is refused or incorrectly cleared,

they'll hear this sound...

BUZZER

They will only get two attempts at each obstacle

and they cannot move on until they hear this sound...

DING

The team that completes the course in the fastest time will take

overall victory

and be in with the chance of going through to the grand final.

Team Matt are in the lead,

which means that Team Willie have the pressure of going first.

Because they're lagging behind, 2-1,

they'll be starting their run

with 15 seconds already added to the clock.

It's time now to play the Bark Off.

Good luck, Team Willie.

OK, on your barks, get set, go.

It's a team relay. The team that gets round quickest wins the show.

Trip down the underground, fast out of Barking.

She needs to sit on the Swindon Magic Roundabout.

Daisy showing how well she obeys Hayley's command.

DING

Over Sherwood Forest, into the tunnel together.

Through the tunnel.

Waiting for her mummy Hayley.

Team Willie's going to need this fast display

if they're going to get back some time.

Daisy, weave, weave, weave.

Oh, wow.

Daisy's won over 20 rosettes from competitive shows.

Top Dog could be the next.

Across the Mersey and Daisy must stay in the boat

until the journey's complete.

On her way to John o' Groats, Team Willie looking to be coming back.

Right, your turn.

Next up, Jimmy - a demo security dog.

Straight over Tower Bridge.

Remember, he must sit on Swindon Roundabout until the bell rings.

Those big beautiful eyes really engaging with John.

DING

Another exquisite jump. He's into his stride now.

He boards the ferry, taking in the Liverpool views.

Jimmy's definitely given Team Willie a chance of winning

the Bark Off on that performance.

With Alfie's team-mates doing so well,

it's important Willie can maintain that standard.

Over Stonehenge.

He's over Stonehenge and up Tower Bridge.

Alfie needs to be on CUE to wrap up a good time.

Willie uses food to coax Alfie through Barking. So far, so good.

If it goes on like this, we could see the equivalent of a snooker 147.

Willie's known as the Great WT.

Could we be seeing the Great A from Alfie?

Now is Alfie going to get on board that ferry?

It doesn't look like it's happening.

DING

Oh, you can move on now, go on, move on.

It looks like they've abandoned ship.

Back on dry land and it's over the shorter form of Hadrian's Wall.

He makes a jump and that's Team Willie at the finish.

It was a good start and a gallant effort,

but will the time disadvantage go against them?

Well done, Team Willie.

-Your time was four minutes 52 seconds.

-It felt a lot longer.

OK, so Team Matt, you know what you have to beat.

On your barks, get set, go.

So, Matthew's team starts with Whizz, a working sheepdog.

Whizz competes in many Flyball events.

For people who aren't familiar,

that's competitive sporting events in the dog world.

Through the longest railway station.

Whizz's sporting nature is really shining through.

Time to get on board for a boat trip, but Whizz isn't sitting down.

Now that's not going to matter. All he has to do is stay in the boat.

Whizz has definitely put Team Matt ahead for sure.

Here we go. Wait for the bell.

DING-DING

Can Barney go even faster? He's definitely on course to do that.

If there's a speed limit on this bridge, Barney's broken it.

DING

Barney's showing fantastic obedience.

Lovely leap over the taller Sherwood Forest.

It's across the Mersey. Now, he must stay on board.

Oh, no, Barney's jumping ship.

That perfect lapse taking the hit, but he does have a second attempt.

This is a nice, gentle ride on the ferry.

DING

Team Matt's advantage slowly withering.

But with a strong finish, they could still be ahead.

Now Ozzy and Matt can't afford to lose any more

time as Team Willie are snapping at their heels.

Good boy.

Come here. Come on, let's go.

-No, no, no.

-BUZZER

This way, this way.

Ozzy's going a bit rock'n'roll and doing his own thing.

Right, move on.

-It's a bit of a hesitant start here from Ozzy.

-Good boy.

Now he's using his little legs to power up Tower Bridge.

At last this little rebel is playing the game.

Good boy. Sit.

You're so good.

DING

Matt has Ozzy well trained here.

Sherwood Forest.

Of course, as soon as I say that, he goes off course.

Good boy. Let's go, let's go. Yes!

That's a lovely jump for a small dog.

Tunnel.

Ozzy, sausage in the tunnel.

Let's go.

There's a sausage in the tunnel. Yes.

Let's go.

Up here. Up here.

It's up Mount Snowdon and down.

Ozzy may have got their noses in front again.

Can Ozzy Ozbone get on the ferry?

-It's a time trial.

-It's a trial.

BUZZER

-Oh, no.

-Lift him up again.

Try and lift him again.

He doesn't like being lifted up.

Oh, it looks like Ozzy doesn't like to be lifted,

so he's decided to go through the back streets of Liverpool.

Come on. Sausage.

Sausage.

Ozzy's decided he's going to do this in his own time.

-Yes!

-DING

Matt's going to have to have his own Watchdog enquiry

after this performance. BUZZER

And Matt gets Ozzy over the finishing line, just the wrong way round.

This team performance has been a bit up and down,

but hopefully the time advantage gives them a chance.

That was a joy. A total joy.

OK, now we know that the time to beat was four minutes

and 52 seconds.

Come on!

And, you know what?

You set a new series record - seven minutes and one second!

Yes!

That's the longest anyone, the whole series, has taken.

Let's hear it for Team Matt.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So huge congratulations to Team Willie for winning tonight's show.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

For which each of you, well, in fact, your dog, gets a dog toy.

There we go. But, was it fast enough to qualify for the semifinals?

Well, only the top four winning times of the series

will make it through.

Their time of four minutes 52 seconds puts them in 8th position.

-Oh, no.

-I'm sorry.

I've got another first round exit then. Like my snooker career.

Now remember... Oh!

Remember, if you want to take part in all the Sport Relief fun

and games, then please sign up for an event near you.

You can find all the details, fundraising ideas

and buy dog-related Sport Relief treats at...

Thanks to all our dogs and owners for taking part.

A big thank you for watching. We'll see you tomorrow. Good night.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE