Episode 2 The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice

-JO BRAND:

-'Week two in the Great British Bake Off tent.'

-Key.

-Key?

-'It was crunch time for the 11 bakers...'

-Welded.

'..who faced biscuit week...'

They haven't got a soggy bottom, have they?

'..where the tent was invaded by pirates, dragons and monsters.'

And me, Jo Brand. I don't know about you but I fancy another helping.

Welcome to An Extra Slice!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

THEME MUSIC PLAYS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Good evening. Roll out the barrel,

it's biscuit week here on An Extra Slice. I'm joined by a panel

of celebrity fans to get their take on the bakers and their bakes.

We'll meet this week's losing baker

and we'll be looking at the best

and worst biscuits you've been baking at home,

and chatting to our audience of avid bakers

about the biscuits they've brought along with them TODAY!

WHISTLING AND CHEERING

I'm really hoping that at least one of them is called Gary Baldy!

I've been sifting through the crumbs in the Bake Off bin

to find you unseen moments like this.

When you're making a biscuit paste/dough,

the best thing to do is chill the dough...

SHEEP BLEATING

BIRDSONG

-Go on.

-Go on.

BLEATING RESUMES

Perhaps Mary DOES have a little lamb?

Now, this week, we also got to hear what I like to think Paul

says to himself when he's looking in the mirror in the morning.

You're... three minutes away from perfection.

And we'll be joined here in the studio by Enwezor,

the second baker to leave the tent.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

Although, to be honest,

the moment we all KNEW it was over

was when he got the dreaded LOOK from Mary.

-Is this fondant in between?

-Yes.

-Did you make the fondant?

-No, I didn't.

Note to self - always tell Mary you've made your own fondant.

So let's get on with the show

and meet tonight's panel of celebrity fans.

First up, renowned chef at Michelin-starred restaurant

Le Gavroche, it's Monica Galetti!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Next we have an actress turned TV cook and a massive fan of Bake Off.

-It's Lisa Faulkner.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And a comedian who likes to change his surname

to make it appropriate to the show he's on. It's Charlie Baker.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's biscuit week on Bake Off.

Charlie, what is the biggest number of biscuits

you've eaten in one sitting?

Phew...

I'm a sucker for a two-for-one deal.

So two packs of biscuits for the price of one, I'm eating the lot.

I'm big. We're all big in Devon. I'm from Devon, we're all quite big.

Born big. Country big, you know?

Cos I don't know if you know, Devonshire women,

they lactate clotted cream. That's just how it comes out.

-Now, Lisa, you love baking biscuits, don't you? Is that right?

-Yeah.

Have you ever had a complete catastrophe, though?

I remember making gingerbread men and, for some reason...

Gingerbread does really swell up when you're making it.

There's a ginger cake over there, so you would know.

But these swelled up so big, and I didn't know what to do

because they were meant to be ghosts.

I should have thought about it and just painted them all white.

But I actually made them into bubbly Michelin men.

I didn't know what else I was going to do.

So they were all right in the end.

Monica, quite a few of the bakers

slotted their biscuits together to stand them up.

Now, isn't there quite a lot of risk involved in that strategy?

Um, in part. But I think, you know, we've all seen those games,

those puzzles you do when you cut it out and you slot things together.

-And they're not normally made of biscuit.

-No, they're not.

Um, so the risk is, you know, it needs to be practised.

-The biscuit can't be too thick.

-Right.

One word of warning though,

if like Alice, you give this a go at home,

do be careful that the finished result

is the one you were hoping for.

That's brilliant!

Jake from London made a train out of gingerbread.

It's made out of biscuit but it can still do this.

MAN CHUCKLING

Stephanie from London has made

not only some violins made of biscuit,

but a full biscuit orchestra.

-AUDIENCE: Aw!

-Amazing.

Presumably she ate the musicians!

Elizabeth encouraged her husband

to try his hand at angel-shaped biscuits.

He won't be doing that again.

Finally, in Dublin, Melanie put her

ricotta and lemon drizzle biscuits out in the garden

to cool.

But I'm slightly worried about the effect they had on the dog.

Keep sending them in. Now, it's time

to get down to the nitty-gritty and remind ourselves

how the 11 bakers coped when Bake Off became all about biscuits.

-SUE:

-On your marks...

-MEL: ..get set.

-Bake!

-JO:

-'The Bakers went crackers for this week's Signature Bake,

'to create 36 savoury biscuits.'

-36.

-Would you expect it to bend, or snap?

-A bit of both.

That's handy, isn't it? It tastes burnt.

-Ah!

-Really aromatic.

'Florentines were next on the menu, in the Technical Bake.'

There isn't much mixture, which is a bit scary.

I think they might be over. I hope not.

-CRUNCHING

-Mm. Crispy.

-Mm.

'Finishing off with some extraordinary

'3-D biscuit designs in the Showstopper.'

All we ask is that they stand up.

That one's so wobbly.

I expect to get a Blue Peter badge for this.

The person who is leaving us today is Enwezor.

Richard, you're Star Baker. Well done.

APPLAUSE

Monica, whose biscuits impressed you?

For me, I've got to say Norman's fathering biscuits.

I really liked the fact that it was simplicity done to perfection.

So Norman really stood out for me.

-And also, was it Nancy who made the...

-Oh, the fennel.

-..the fennel?

-Yeah. Right.

-Because they were biscuits...

They looked like something I would want to try.

They were the two that stood out for me.

I liked Martha's biscuits with the little goat's cheese.

They looked amazing. And I loved Norman's.

I thought Norman and his lovely little plain farthings.

They looked beautiful. I love Norman.

-But in a purely...

-Father/daughter sort of way?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-I think in a grandad kind of way.

-OK.

-Yeah.

-Like he's a lovely man, isn't he?

-I don't know. I've not met him...

I'm also a big Norman fan. Joining in with the Norman love tonight.

I mean, maybe in a more brotherly sort of way. I don't know...

No, because I like, he's gone,

"Ah, biscuits, you say. You want biscuits?

"I'll make you biscuits. Here they are.

"They're made of flour, butter and lard. That's it."

"Any sugar?" "No!"

Now, several of the bakers really excelled themselves this week

with that Showstopper Challenge,

a three-dimensional scene made entirely out of biscuits.

Frankly, I'd have stood a few Bourbons on end

and said it was Stonehenge, but the bakers really went for it.

-There's a Stonehenge shortbread over there.

-OK.

LAUGHTER

-Oh, really?

-There you go.

Oh, wow, that's great.

Now, Martha made an entire ski scene,

including an edible suspended chairlift.

It's a nice design, isn't it? I like the marshmallow snow.

But I'm going to pick one thing up from Martha here. How old is Martha?

She's 17. We're all aware of that.

A mulled wine... She made a mulled wine biscuit.

It's an illegal Showstopper.

-So, did you like it?

-I liked it. It was a bit posh for me.

I mean, I've never been skiing. Skiing's quite posh, isn't it?

-So...

-I've never been skiing either.

I'm not allowed by many councils,

because I'm a health risk once I'm at speed.

Don't say speed with Martha. She'll be making a snowboard out of it.

Now, Luis made a St George and the Dragon scene.

Paul said he was running out of superlatives to describe it.

I thought it was amazing.

I genuinely thought this was what the beauty of Bake Off is,

is people's just creativity. That...

The chilli dragon, I mean,

that is just a brilliant, brilliant thought, isn't it?

That's a brilliant creative thought

and it sounds like a good band name, the Chilli Dragons.

But, yeah, just to be able to make that

and for it to taste nice is I think what the whole show's about.

I love the fact that his flavours were brilliant

as well as the design, you know,

because there were a couple of other people who, obviously,

the biscuit tasted nice, but it was a bit lacking on design.

So, I think, yeah, he's one to watch, definitely.

But the thing with Luis

is he's thought about what you're going to eat,

not just the picture he's got there.

You know, you read the description of Luis' biscuits, I want to try it.

Chocolate with chilli, cardamom and orange.

So, I have to agree with Lisa, one to watch.

And I think that Luis' Showstopper had a nice patriotic feel to it.

And as every proud Englishman knows, we celebrate St George's Day on...

April the something or other.

Um...

Now, some designs were incredibly elaborate.

Let's just listen to Nancy describing her 3-D scene.

I'm doing the house, Hansel and Gretel,

the wicked stepmother and the father

and 14 trees and two birds and a path into the woods...

and logs in the log store.

Is that crazy or what?

Well, if you don't know the fairytale,

Hansel and Gretel are tempted by loads of sweets,

become morbidly obese and end up on Embarrassing Bodies.

Now, any children watching,

don't let Hansel and Gretel give you nightmares.

It's just a silly, made-up fairytale, like low-fat mayonnaise.

Um...

-Monica, what do you think?

-I was quite disappointed with it.

-Really?

-Why?

-Well, Hansel and Gretel.

I'm sorry, where's all the candy decoration on that house?

You know, the fairytale was sold

on all that decoration that the witch's hut had

and, for me, I wanted the house to be the Showstopper of the piece,

and it wasn't.

Now, Norman didn't get off to a great start

when Paul and Mary visited his work station.

This thing's more about the actual display.

I'm not going to hold my head up

and say that they're going to be the most fantastic tasting biscuits.

-They'd better had be!

-That's very important, Norman.

That's what we call Mary's scary flirty look at the end there.

Now, the Signature Bake involved making savoury biscuits

to go with cheese.

Monica, we all know what flavours work well with cheese,

but which flavours wouldn't go with cheese?

For me, you know, when you're having cheese and biscuits,

the flavours, you don't want them to overpower the cheese,

you know, strong spices.

-For example, we've just seen Iain...

-Yeah.

..Iain, who used the za'atar, which is, you know, very strong,

it's quite sharp.

Does anyone know what za'atar is?

Hands up if you don't know what it is.

Right. But there's a great guy down there... You do know what it is.

What is it?

It's a mix of thyme, sumac and sesame seeds.

Who doesn't know what sumac is?

LAUGHTER

-A process of elimination.

-Now, I love a bit of cheese. Laughing Cow.

Um...

That's what they call me in the cheese shop.

Um...

Now, is it just me, or is Paul a bit of a stingy dinner party host?

It's one thing making, you know,

three, four biscuits for a dinner party.

Three or four?

I mean, you probably have to divide up a Babybel

to put on your eighth of a biscuit.

But now let's turn our thoughts to this week's Technical Bake,

Florentines.

Now, Monica, what's the secret to baking a perfect Florentine?

The perfect Florentine is going to come down

to the balance of the sugar and butter.

You want it to get quite golden and crispy throughout the side.

-Not burnt, but just golden.

-Do you put different sorts of fruit in them?

Because there's, like, some with, like, the orange fruit. What's that?

What's the orange fruit?

-Orange peel.

-Is it orange?

-Oh, orange!

I have to say,

Paul saved his strongest criticism for Norman's Florentines.

Mind your language, Paul.

This one...chocolate bleeding all the way through.

Mary and Paul awarded Richard... Hold on.

..awarded Richard Star Baker.

Paul and Mary were very impressed with his Showstopper.

I mean, it had everything you'd expect from a pirate scene.

Well, it's either pirates on an island or Russell Brand on holiday.

Um...

Now, it's not just the bakers in the tent who've been busy baking.

Our studio audience have too. It's biscuits this week, of course.

Now, let's have a look at a few of them.

Where are Anna, David and Alison?

-Here we are.

-Hi there. Now, you've done dinosaurs on a volcano?

-We have, yes.

-Yep.

-Is that volcano made of biscuits?

-No!

-Unfortunately, it's just made out of an old box.

Did you make your own fondant?

I didn't, no.

-Do you want to taste it, Charlie?

-Yeah.

Yeah, as long as it's not why the dinosaurs died out.

LAUGHTER

Why don't you take the whole thing over because it's quite impressive?

I always think... LAUGHTER

-Careful now, this is my... This is my...

-I always think

when they have to bring their Showstopper up

that is like an obstacle course on the way to it, isn't it?

There it is, there it is.

Oh, dear, tree fallen over.

-Would you like a triceratops, if that's what that is?

-Yeah, go on.

So how did you... You incorporated some of your broken biscuits

into your scene, how did you do that?

The diplodocus, the diplodocus... at the front is dead...

Oh, that's that.

..because there were structural integrity problems with his neck,

so it snapped, so he was re-purposed as a dead dinosaur.

What does it taste like, Charlie?

-What is it? Is it biscuit? What is it?

-Vanilla.

-Vanilla.

Very good, very nice.

Very nice taste. I can taste the vanilla and the shop-bought fondant.

LAUGHTER

-Jessica, where are you?

-I'm here.

Now what have you got there, Jessica? You've got a rocket.

Yeah, it was meant to be a 3-D rocket,

but the second half broke when I tried to put it together.

LAUGHTER

Well, can I just say, Jessica? It looks lovely from over here

and that's where it's going to stay.

LAUGHTER

Now, Claire, tell us about your ginger nuts.

-I made a ginger nut Prince Harry.

-You made a ginger nut Prince Harry.

-Can you go and get them?

-Of course.

-Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

Is a ginger biscuit meant to be sort of soft or...

I prefer a ginger biscuit that's actually got a snap to it.

-You can just get a bit of ginger.

-AUDIENCE GROANS

It's the best ginger biscuit I've ever had.

We're going to put this on at the restaurant.

It's very nice, I think it could do with a little bit more ginger.

I like it, I think it's a cross between a ginger biscuit

-and ginger cake.

-That is what I was going for.

-Very nice.

-You nailed it.

-You nailed it. Thank you very much.

Now, moving on to Beth with your Earl Grey biscuits. Where are you?

They're in the shape of teabags and they're dipped in dark chocolate

-but they're specially for dunking.

-Are you sure that's just not

a couple of old teabags you've got there?

LAUGHTER

-They look great.

-They look amazing.

-Well done.

And finally, where are Alice and Shaff?

OK, and you've done macarons, yes?

Yes, we have, we've got some animals and then we've done you, Jo,

-you've got strawberry laces for your hair.

-I want to see that.

It has a red nose that looks like an alcoholic.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Do you want to bring them up?

-We've done Mel and Sue and Paul and Mary as well.

-That's brilliant.

-Shall I pass it along?

-Yes, just be careful.

-Charlie, can you just show everyone the Sue one?

-Yeah, I'm guessing.

-Where's the camera?

-Oh, that's brilliant.

-Very good.

-I love Paul.

That really does look like him.

LAUGHTER

Got the blue eyes spot on.

-He looks like the Count from Sesame Street as well.

-That is wonderful.

Thank you so much, everyone,

for bringing in your amazing productions.

Back now to the bakers in the tent

and it was goodbye to baker number two,

a man who stacked up the brownie points

with his beautifully-decorated swiss roll,

but then lost them all when he stacked up his biscuits

to make a rocket. It's Enwezor.

APPLAUSE

Mwah! Mwah! Do have a seat.

-Hiya.

-Welcome to An Extra Slice. It's great to have you here.

Now, did you enjoy your time in the tent?

Absolutely, it was an amazing experience,

made such good friends in such a short space of time

and we've just shared this journey,

this Bake Off journey together where we...

It was just such an intense, amazing experience. Brilliant.

Paul and Mary said it was a really close call between you

-and Norman. Did you think it would be you that went?

-I wasn't sure.

I really had no idea.

I knew that, you know, Norman had quite a simple design.

Mine was a bit complicated but I didn't bake the biscuits that well.

I think it was probably your Showstopper that

sealed your fate in the end, although, personally, I loved it.

Shall we have a look at your Space Adventure Moon Scene?

It's sort of half spaceship, half sort of cone-headed puffin.

I'm a bit of an amateur when it comes to decorating.

Once I drew a dinosaur for my daughter - it was so bad

when it was finished, she started crying.

I didn't realise it was going to be biscuit

on top of biscuit on top of biscuit.

I was expecting some sort of building, you know, flat sides.

-The middle is soft.

-You can almost bend it, see?

That's an issue for a biscuit.

I think that shows really my experience

in 3-D biscuit baking is... I just didn't have any, really.

LAUGHTER So that let me down.

Let's just have a look at another of Mary and Paul's concerns -

your fondant.

'We don't want to see anything bought in.'

We want it all home-made.

-Are you making your own fondant?

-No, no, I'm not, no.

Did you not pick up on that look at the time?

I would have thought it might have burnt a hole

-in your shirt, actually.

-It was too late by then,

-I'd already committed to it.

-Why didn't you just lie?

LAUGHTER There's packets of it everywhere.

- Yeah, yeah, it was everywhere. - I liked...

We were just saying, we liked the fact

that it was lots of biscuits stacked up.

-Yeah, I did. I thought it was a really good design.

-Thank you.

I know you were saying it's just a stack of biscuits,

but I think you did really well with it.

Just a bit childlike in the way I executed it.

We saw some brilliant work with the piping bag

during the Showstopper Challenge,

lots of complicated designs and intricate detail

-and, er, oh, er...

-LAUGHTER

Houston, we have a problem.

Well, here on An Extra Slice,

we do offer our bakers a chance to show just what they can do

when they're away from the gimlet eye of Paul and Mary,

back in their own kitchens, so, Enwezor,

you've decided to have another go, haven't you,

at your 3-D Space Adventure Moon Scene,

to give it its official title?

-Shall we have a look at it?

-Yes, here we go.

It's in miniature.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, let me just pass it round.

It's in a different colour as well.

-It was just whatever fondant was left.

-Oh, OK.

-This was the only fondant you had left?

-Yeah.

And then you really like cutting things in circles, don't you?

-You cut everything in circles.

-Yes, it's a nice shape.

Do you want another taste, Charlie?

-I'll have another taste, yeah.

-They smell lovely, don't they?

-You can smell the ginger.

-They do, yeah.

-Really nice.

-That's great. That is really good.

-Pass it over.

That's really good. No, honestly.

Is it? Well, let's try it properly. Come on.

LAUGHTER

-AUDIENCE:

-Aww.

-Yeah.

-She killed it.

It's all right, it's not going to be preserved in a museum!

LAUGHTER

Well, I can't taste the biscuit, cos there's too much fondant.

Honestly, it's very sweet -

but I think the biscuit I've tried on the wing is quite crunchy,

and I loved the ginger coming through there. Yeah.

Do you hate it?

It's horrible! I'm sorry.

LAUGHTER

Monica, you wouldn't be Monica if you didn't say that.

It's the fondant! It's horrible, it's sweet

-and it's too thick, but I think the biscuit itself is fine.

-Good.

-OK?

-It's all about the biscuit.

-Yeah, it's all about the biscuit.

But it's a lovely design.

Look, I'm trying to get in touch with my nice side here,

-and you're just bringing it out.

-Not going very well, is it?

LAUGHTER

-Oh, God, here we go.

-DUSTBIN RATTLES

-LAUGHTER

-Anyway...

-APPLAUSE

-Sorry.

Now, did you ever get distracted by Mel and Sue?

The reason I ask is because I've found this little bit

of unseen footage,

and I just wondered what was going on with you and Mel.

Maybe make a Florentine sort of shape around...

-With balls...

-With balls...

-Lacing round the edges.

-Feel chewy.

-Chewy.

-Chewy.

-Chewy, yet crisp.

-Chewy, yet crisp.

-Look, look!

Lovely. Lovely!

That was yoga, I think.

We'd just got in a conversation about yoga.

We started practising a few moves,

and I think she was expressing Florentines in a yogic sort of style.

LAUGHTER

Something I've noticed about you, which I think is really great,

and that's that you do things your own way.

Now, here's my favourite example - this is from cake week, OK?

Jordan, Richard and you all put designs on your swiss rolls

in order to make them set.

Jordan put his pattern in the freezer...

Richard put his pattern in the freezer...

and let's see what you did with yours.

Three minutes in the oven.

Well...

It's a lot quicker!

LAUGHTER

Thank you so much for being with us, you've been utterly charming,

and we wouldn't want you to leave empty-handed,

so, well done, Charlie, thank you so much. Now...

I'm a bit scared.

Don't be scared. It's not explosive.

You've made a rocket out of biscuits,

and we've made you one out of cake.

APPLAUSE

Wow!

There you go.

Oh, and hang on - I've forgotten something.

There we go. OK?

Reunited!

Ladies and gentlemen, he was great, wasn't he?

Put your hands together for Enwezor.

APPLAUSE

Thank you so much.

To me, the most important question regarding a biscuit is,

-can it stand up to a good dunking?

-Mm.

Now, here is the science bit of the show.

Bristol University carried out some in-depth research into dunking.

-LAUGHTER

-I'm serious, right?

To see which biscuit stood up best.

So, let's see if our results marry up with theirs.

The biscuit that lasts the longest wins.

OK, here we go.

Right, now, if I pass that, and we pass mugs across...

So...

-Would you be pourer, please, Monica?

-Sure.

OK, right, now, while I'm here, I'm going to allocate biscuits to you.

-OK.

-So, Charlie, will you take a ginger biscuit from there?

-Mm-hm.

I'm going to take a Hobnob.

-Lisa, will you take a digestive?

-Yes.

And Monica, you've got a - lucky you - rich tea.

To make this scientific, right,

what we're going to do is we're going to dunk

at exactly the same time for the same length of time,

-and see whose bit falls off first.

-OK.

-OK?

So, hold it at that height, OK?

One, two, three.

And up. OK, and again.

-One, two, three, dunk.

-Oh, it's not going to do it, is it?

-Dunk!

-Cos I've done one dunk already.

-Dunk it, Charlie.

LAUGHTER

Oh... APPLAUSE

-Ginger, OK? Ready, ladies?

-Yep.

One, two, three, dunk.

-Oh!

-Oh, yeah, yours has gone.

So, it's just you and me. Just you and me.

Yours has broken a bit, hasn't it?

-Oh, bum, it has.

-LAUGHTER

So, yeah, you're the winner, then, Monica.

APPLAUSE

That's why they call it a rich tea.

That is a rich tea - and that tallies with the results

that Bristol University came up with.

So, we have backed up your research, Bristol.

I hope you're pleased.

Next week, the bakers in the tent tackle bread.

-Rise!

-Oh, it's so stretchy!

-I have big muscles, Mary.

-Look at that!

Pure alchemy.

My last chance to rise to the challenge.

I think it's a bit of a success.

They'll either be great or a complete disaster!

-Martha, what are we going to do?

-Whoo!

APPLAUSE

So, it'll be bread week here on An Extra Slice as well.

We'd love you at home to bake some bread for us,

so roll up your sleeves, dust down your worktops and get kneading.

You can make any type of bread in any type of shape - go mad!

Get your pictures up on Facebook and Twitter.

Details at the bottom of the screen.

So, what have we learnt from biscuit week in the tent?

Well, thanks to Norman, we've learnt how to spell out the word "bake"

in semaphore, and here he is teaching Sue another word.

-B...

-B.

-A...

-A.

-N...

-N.

A... N... A.

-B-A-N-AN-A.

-That's it.

It's just easier to say "banana", isn't it?

And the good news is that Norman's now been signed up

-by a Village People tribute act.

-LAUGHTER

Of course, semaphore was eventually replaced by Morse,

who was then replaced by Lewis.

A massive thank you to our guest baker Enwezor

to all of our studio bakers,

and to tonight's panel - Monica Galetti,

Lisa Faulkner

-and Charlie Baker.

-APPLAUSE

See you all next week, good night!