America's Toughest Vehicles Top Gear USA

'Now, on Top Gear.'

'We're all about who's best.'

He's spinning!

'Tanner goes deep into the swamp to race an airboat.'

Oh no! There he is!

'Bill Enngvall races around our track.'

Woo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha!

'And we fight to prove who can choose the best

'American heavy-duty truck.'

Y'all watch this.

APPLAUSE

Welcome to Top Gear. Now, we love our trucks.

And what's better than a truck? More truck.

Yep, you slap an extra set of wheels on the back, and you got yourself a dually.

And to find out which dually was the strongest,

we went to Eagle Mountain Mine in California to battle it out.

'Trucks. They make up more than half the vehicle sales for the US.

'But which one is king?

'We each chose what we thought was the biggest, baddest truck in the country,

'and took 'em into the desert for a showdown.

'Adam chose the Ram 3500.

'Tanner chose the Ford F-450.

'And I brought the Chevy HD3500.'

You know what vehicle the Secret Service chose

to underpin the new presidential limo, nicknamed "The Beast"?

It may look like a Cadillac on the outside, but underneath, it's all Chevy truck.

As if you needed any more convincing

that THIS is the best heavy-duty truck.

Gentlemen, you've finally been outgunned.

For once, I landed the king of the hill on one of these challenges.

-Please. That?

-Yeah, this.

-How do you figure?

You know that this is the truck that outsells both of these almost two to one.

Justin Bieber can pack a full house, that doesn't mean I'm going.

OK, that's right.

You're right. It's all really about the numbers. 24,400 pounds.

-When are you going to need to tow 24,400...

-I tow my trailer.

When do you tow anything?

-Two race cars in a big-ass trailer.

-You don't tow that!

You fly. You get in the car, you drive and you fly home.

There's somebody towing that, and I have to get the truck.

What can the Dodge do?

It's not even a Dodge anymore, it's a Ram.

You mean Dodge was so embarrassed by it,

they're like "We can't even put our own name on it."

Dodge, embarrassed by a tough truck? No. This was so tough it was asked to leave.

They told it "Excuse me, you're frightening the mini-vans.

"All the caravans are crying, you have to go."

Guys, you clearly didn't notice that I brought the Chevy HD.

-I mean, that's the coolest one.

-You think?

-It's like an Escalade!

-Do you have air-conditioned seats?

-Yes.

You know why? You have ass-sweat.

I'm hard working. I'm out there, getting it done. I might need air-conditioned seats.

(ADAM LAUGHS) What are you getting done?

The Chevy HD. Out there, getting it done.

Look, 800 foot-pounds of torque. Anybody got anything on that?

I've got 765. But I'm telling you, that sucker's fast.

The Ford is quick. Even with a trailer, it pulls like a freight train.

Fast? How fast is it?

It's quick.

I think we should find out which truck is the quickest.

Really? You thinking what I'm thinking?

-Drag race?

-Three wide.

-It is on!

-Let's go.

-It is on!

'My Ford had 400 horsepower.

'Rutledge's Chevy had 397, so we were pretty evenly matched.

'Adam? Not so much.'

OK. I have six cylinders. I'm going to lose.

I know I'm going to lose. The only question is, by how much?

The key to any good drag race is the launch.

I'm going to start in second gear with a little bit of a burnout.

Just going to see how that goes. OK, gentlemen. You ready?

-Tally-ho!

-Ready!

OK, and we'll do it in

three,

two,

one, go!

Oh, not the best start!

Come on, baby! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Oh, yes!

No-o-o-o!

Come on! Shift, shift, shift! Oh, my God! 40, 50. Shift!

Come on, 800 foot-pounds of torque, 800 foot-pounds of torque.

Rocket ship!

60, 65. Shift!

Oh, it's so close! Come on, Chevy!

Shift! Thank you. Oh, so soon?

75, 80. I'm nosing it!

No-o-o-o-o-o!

I beat that Ford! Yeah! That's like a rock, baby!

I'm thinking the burnout was a bad idea on my part.

Cos you beat me by, like, four inches.

I had at least a car length.

It was probably less than... Hey, Adam, you're back. How you doing?

Adam, did you go when Tanner counted?

All right, all right.

Tanner, it doesn't matter whether you win by an inch, or you win by a mile.

Those are NASCAR words, aren't they?

Uh, no, it was Vin Diesel in the first Fast And The Furious.

'Rutledge can keep his Chevy. For me, it's all about the Ford.'

OK. I have had five Super Duty trucks.

I've had F-350s, I've had the earlier version,

two of the F-450s, and now I have a Super Duty 350 with this motor.

And I think the Ford Super Duty can do just about everything well.

And I think it's the best workhorse money can buy.

Thank you!

No! You got to be kidding me!

By an inch or a mile.

And where were you?

I was making sure you guys were keeping it fair.

I have six cylinders. You guys should've beat me by a lot more than that.

-You kidding me?

-But it was like three inches.

It's a long, sad story. You still lost.

Point is, we went 80 miles an hour. That's a horsepower test,

that's not a torque test. Trucks are about torque.

-Well, you have more horsepower than me.

-Three more!

-Either way, you lost.

-No. It's heavy.

It's an 8,000 pound truck.

It's way heavier than mine, that's why. That's why.

-What are you trying to say?

-I'm saying, with trucks, it's about torque.

And for torque, it's the twisting power. It's like, smoking tyres, burnout, pulling trailers.

So, what you're saying in a roundabout way, is you would like a burnout test?

I think a burnout competition. Because it's about torque.

-You want to run double 11s?

-Double 11s with the duallys.

-Longest one wins?

-Yes.

-Your honour.

-I'm up?

-You're up.

-All right.

It's going to be a big fail.

'To find out which of our trucks could apply the most power to the ground,

'we conducted a very scientific test.'

-You guys ready?

-Ready!

Light 'em up!

Left foot on the brake, and I'm just going to mash the accelerator.

-What?!

-Doesn't look good.

-What?!

-Hold on one second, I got to get it squared up.

-What's he saying?

-I don't know. Where's he going?

-I don't know.

That didn't work, so plan B.

I find it hard to believe a truck with 760 foot-pounds of torque cannot spin the tyres.

I thought he'd at least break 'em loose.

Your truck'll break 'em loose, right?

Yeah.

What is...? He's backing up.

-The shame.

-He's going to do this in reverse!

Whoa, that's funny! You're killing me!

ADAM LAUGHS

Woo!

Can you see them?

That was depressing.

-Look at that!

-Yeah.

Must be 30 feet. Look at 'em! They're great.

-They're great.

-Those... That's not yours.

-Adam, could you do burnout with your diesel truck?

-Watch and learn.

-Are you going to stand here while he does this?

-No.

-Hell, no!

Seen this before.

OK, I got to be honest with you. I don't think this thing can break 'em loose. I'm going to try.

He's got, what? Eight pounds of torque?

-Hit it!

-Do your worst, buddy. I'm sorry in advance.

He did some! OK, now YOUR truck sucks!

I'll be honest, that's a lot better than I thought.

Look, it goes all the way to the second line.

-It's hard, my marks are so dark it's hard to tell.

-Whatever.

Easy to get 'em confused.

18, 19, still going.

Look at that!

-24.

-24?

-I don't know what that means in distance, though.

24 little Tanner feet?

24 big, giant... I'm going to go do a burnout.

-What do you think?

-Here's the problem.

It's him, so he can do this kind of stuff. So it's really not fair.

Traction control, off. AC, off.

You guys good?

I think you've got no chance. I think he's got you beat.

Well, I think I did mine forward. That should count for something.

-What's he doing now?

-I don't know.

-Oh, OK. Yeah.

Now you're just showing off. Now you're just showing off!

America! America!

America!

It's not funny.

-I get it.

-I get it. OK.

-I get it. You win.

Oh, you're awesome!

Come on! Really?!

RUTLEDGE COUGHS

TANNER LAUGHS

Still going.

-TANNER SHOUTS:

-I'm going to go get some coffee, OK?

I'll be back in a little bit.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-That didn't feel just a little bit over the top?

-Nope.

I didn't do that to you when I beat you in the race.

-You just said that to point out you beat me in the drag race.

-I did.

Well, I think we can all agree that the F-450 is the best dually on the planet, yes?

CHEERING

But, if you think that was tough, take a look at this.

This is the Rally Fighter from a company called Local Motors.

This is an actual production car, one of 30 made. I got a chance to drive the prototype.

They claim it can handle anything. So I took it to the most hostile environment on the planet.

'To find the largest swamp in the US,

'you have to head deep into the damp, dark heart of southern Louisiana.

'There lies the Atchafalaya swamp. 600,000 acres of slow-moving water and lush vegetation.

'These low-lying wetlands are in constant evolution,

'and are home to hundreds of species,

'including thousands of alligators, numerous poisonous snakes,

'several billion mosquitoes, and a few crazy locals.

'So I had the location, now I needed something to race the Rally Fighter against.'

It's a bit of a weird place, the swamp. It's not a place you'd normally drive.

But there is one local motor that's perfect for the swamp.

An airboat.

'An airboat is a simple machine.

'Not much more than a tin tray with an engine and propeller bolted on it.

'In engineering terms, it's about as complicated as a sledgehammer.

'But it's incredibly effective at getting through unpassable areas.'

This is not your normal airboat. Look at it!

This is the Godzilla of airboats.

This thing has won airboat competitions.

That's right, there are airboat competitions.

It's got a V8 that's supercharged with 800 horsepower.

It's unbelievable.

There's one thing that everybody knows in the swamp.

Airboats are difficult to drive. So, to handle a beast like this, we needed the most skilled driver.

Which is this guy.

'Stan Floyd owns and runs American Airboats

'and has been building and designing them for 50 years.

'But that's not all. He's Texan.

'And a Vietnam vet, and possibly the best airboat driver on the planet.

'Basically, if you're into airboats, then Stan is your god.

'Stan may be the man when it comes to airboats,

'but he's going to have his hands full racing this.'

You've got to be kidding me!

I'm loving it!

'This is the Rally Fighter.

'It's not a dune buggy or a trophy truck.

'It's an off-road beast that can handle any kind of terrain.

'But, amazingly, you can also drive it to work.'

If you want a vehicle you can legally drive on the road,

and then literally drive across the border

and enter into the Baja 1000, you probably need one of these.

The craziest part about this thing is that Local Motors didn't even design it.

It was designed on the internet.

'Yup, you heard me. The internet.

'They held an open competition on the web,

'and an online vote decided the winner.

'So, what does all this social networking and auto Tweeting get you?

'For 60 grand, what you get is a Corvette engine,

'but Miata door handles.

'You get a Ford truck rear end, but Honda Civic tail lights.

'You get a Chevrolet transmission, but an F-150 steering wheel.

'It all sounds like a recipe for disaster, but then you drive it.'

All right, we want some speed, now.

Come on, baby!

'The 430 horsepower engine has enough torque to start a sandstorm.'

My god! This is street legal?!

'The suspension has enough travel to collect Frequent Flyer points.

'18 inches in front, and a staggering 20 inches in the rear.'

This is a rough ride.

This is ridiculous.

Pure ridiculousness.

'It might be ridiculous, but it works.

'Somehow all those random parts of designs have come together

'to make a formidable machine.

'I was really starting to like the Rally Fighter.

'And I thought it was time to introduce it to the swamp.'

Oh no!

I'm getting absolutely soaked!

Oh, God! That was a tree.

Uh-oh!

Killed it.

IGNITION FAILS

Uh, let's bring the mechanic down.

-OVER RADIO:

-Copy, stand by.

It was about to re-fire, just you could hear rattling

and I shut it off.

-Let's fire it up. Give it a try.

-You sure?

-Absolutely.

-Is it already done-done?

We can do no harm. Come on. Let her rip.

-Really?

-Come on, do it!

IGNITION NOISE

Ooh. It is a funny... Come on, still, let's try it.

-No, that finished it.

-That was it?

-You do it.

-I don't want to kill it.

-All right.

Pushing the button.

-I think she's seized.

-I believe she's a dead player.

I'm out of here.

My new shoes.

'I had killed the Rally Fighter.

'But luckily I had a backup.

'So the race against the airboat was still on.

'The race would be six miles long, and the route,

'completely unpredictable.

'I'd be on a mixture of rough trails,

'gravel levee roads and farm tracks.

'And the airboat would travel along the shoreline to begin,

'before heading deep into the swamp to the finish.

'I was expecting the start line to be near the water,

'but Stan had other ideas.'

So, Stan, are you actually going to drive down the street with that?

Yeah.

Have you ever had this on pavement before?

Yeah. At the Armadillo Nationals in Houston.

-It's called the Armadillo Nationals?

-Armadillo Nationals! After I passed,

and it blew the Christmas tree down,

the track officials were very upset with me.

-Are you allowed back there?

-Probably not.

-All right, let's do this.

-All right.

You're not going to mind an old Texan kicking your ass, right?

'I was worried about the backwash from the props.

'I should have worried more about Stan's math.'

Five,

four,

three, two,

one, go!

'Turned out Stan couldn't count.

'And he also was completely insane.

'His crazy levee stunt had given him a huge lead.'

Oh, my god! What kind of route is this?!

'Stan hit the open water and opened up the big V8.

'80 miles an hour in just 400 feet.'

Go, go, go, go, go!

Little bit of a jump.

'18 inches from Stan's head,

'the prop was travelling at the speed of sound,

'creating 150-mile-an-hour backwash.'

It is so bumpy!

I think I can get up on the levee now.

He's so far ahead of me at this point.

'While I crashed around on the banks,

'Stan was gliding serenely across the glassy water. He was destroying me.

'I finally made it to the levee road.

'6 feet of dirt, a 50-foot drop on each side,

'but it was all I needed to get on the gas.'

Now we're laying down some speed. 80, 90.

100 miles an hour on a levee!

I've done a few smarter things in my life, I think.

I just can't let a guy with a Hawaiian shirt beat me - that's really what it comes down to.

'Stan had navigated away from the shore,

'and was now halfway to the finish line.

'And the gators were ducking.

'The airboat god of thunder was approaching.

'But the murky waters concealed rotting cypress stumps.

'Stan had to slow, or risk an impact that could flip the boat.

'An airboat has no brakes and no reverse.

'Driving one takes real commitment.

'Three miles in, and I'd finally hit the end of the levee road.

'Up ahead lay two miles of farmland and horse trails.'

Where am I going?

Holy crap!

'Stan had also steered away from the swamp,

'Over the levee and into the bayou.'

Is it worth 60 grand? I don't know.

You certainly won't have any worries about making it to work.

Big bump.

There he is!

Holy...

Oh, my gosh.

'Stan's little shortcut had given him the lead.

'With just two miles to go, I had no choice but to go all-out.'

Oh!

This thing is tough as nails. Big corner. Hang on.

I can't think of another production vehicle

that can take the hit that I just did and it's fine.

This truck is a tank or car, whatever it is.

Stan was now back in the swamp picking up speed,

while I had a farm between me and the levy.

It was too close to call.

Finally, I hit the levee again.

There was a straight run from here to the finish one mile away.

The question was, where was Stan? Oh no, there he is.

Oh my gosh!

That hurt, that hurt a lot.

Go, go, this is it right here.

Stan had edged ahead of me with just 500 yards to go.

It was now or never.

I had to floor it or Jimmy Buffett and the flying hairdryer

would be drinking the victory beer.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!

Wow!

Yes! Yes!

He almost flipped it. Oh my gosh!

Our America's strongest truck challenge started off great

with me winning in the drag race, thank you.

And then Tanner won the burn-out challenge.

Race boy was really starting to get annoying,

so we decided to teach him a lesson in the next challenge.

Each of us had to pick what we thought was the toughest truck.

I of course chose the Ram.

Tanner, the Ford, and Rutledge, the Chevy.

We were having a competition to prove who had the best.

Tanner and Rutledge each had one victory.

Yeah, that's like a rock, baby!

So we drove high into the hills for our third test.

-This is it.

-This is it?

Look at this, it's the perfect thing to test a truck's off-road prowess.

This is a runaway truck ramp, used to stop 80,000 lb-plus trucks

coming down this huge hill.

This is like rock quicksand. This stops 80,000 lb trucks.

The problem with the plan, and I respect you wanting to try that,

making this in the Chevy.

You've got independent front suspension

which is awesome on the road, terrible for off-road.

Oh, I'm Mr Straight Axle.

Hey y'all, I've got a straight axle.

Y'all watch this. IFS and all. I'm going to the top.

After Tanner's gratuitous burn-out,

he had little tread left on his tyres so he was at a disadvantage.

All I had to do was make it to the top.

All right, so we're auto.

I know you can do this, let's build a little boost and let's take off.

What?

Oh, there it is. Yeah, Hi Ho Silver and away.

Hello.

Yeah, look at that. Dig it.

-I'm glad I don't work here if that's the runaway truck thing.

-Right.

Right! Do you feel like you're going to have a problem?

Not at all. I'll show you.

'Rutledge made it up the hill, now all I had to do

'was get to the top and we would have Tanner exactly where we wanted him.'

OK, go for it!

Goodbye. That's it, see.

Step on the gas and climb the hill like a man.

Like a man!

Ha-ha!

HE BEATS HIS CHEST

That is just crazy.

'Our trap was set. Tanner may have thought this was an easy challenge

'but a slow climb like this requires good traction.'

Are you ready?

HE LAUGHS

There he goes.

That's dangerous.

That's digging.

We are really going for it.

Can you see that solid axle jumping?

He's spinning, he's spinning!

LAUGHTER

-Yes.

-He's spinning.

Come on, you super. You're a super.

Goddammit.

That's it.

OK, one more try at it.

LAUGHTER

Just a second.

No way, give it up.

Let it go.

Use your superpowers.

He is digging, digging and digging.

Dude, is that thing buried up to the axle?

Yeah, half a tyre's in there.

Damn it.

THEY LAUGH

Here's the thing.

There's no thing.

Here's the thing, it's the tread.

You know what, you're absolutely right.

That was a pile of super-doody.

If you hadn't spent all that time riding circles

and doughnuts around us, you'd have plenty of tyres left.

I can do burnouts.

That...

No, no, no, you lost. Let it go.

I know, you're going to be up for days.

-It feel so sweet when you suck at something.

-I know.

Oh, it feels good!

-You know, I'm not done.

-There's more.

I think the Chevy can do way more stuff than this.

I know the Ram can.

We had successfully given Tanner a beat down.

But, our toughest truck challenge wasn't over.

The real test for a pickup is towing capacity.

So, we set out to see who had the toughest truck.

This is a great plan.

This is a great plan, remember those words.

Towing capacity, what's yours?

24,400.

That's super-doody so it's on a different scale.

-Mine is almost 30.

-What?!

-What?!

It's 22. It's almost 30.

I'm 21.7.

So this is one I'm ready for, what have you got?

We've seen all the commercials when people test trucks.

It's always you can out-pull this guy pulling a boat or a trailer.

What does it have to do with telephone poles?

I just saw it and I thought it would be a cool thing to pull down.

I respect the destructive nature in you. Let's let it happen.

OK, in many famous men's words, watch this.

Does he know they're all hooked together?

This telephone pole stands at about four storeys high

and is dug 20 feet into the ground.

Pulling it down is a perfect way to demonstrate my Chevy's towing power.

This is a great idea. Yes!

He's going to electrocute all of us.

-No.

-Yeah.

-I'll be OK, just keep your feet off the ground.

Here.

This is the stuff you dream about when you are a kid, right here.

I wonder if you can pull a telephone pole down with a truck?

I really like the idea,

but it is one of the dumber ideas we've had on this show.

It's pretty cool.

Four-wheel drive, Chevy, I know you can do it.

Here I go!

Here I go!

-Yeah, get angry at it!

-Come on, let's go!

I'm in full support of whatever's about to happen.

It's coming down!

SHOUTS WITH LAUGHTER

-He got two!

-Did you see that?

-That was beautifully stupid!

-I just ripped a telephone pole down!

Chevy!

But, to be fair,

that's not really towing, it's pulling.

I don't think that was all that impressive.

You were hooked to the top. They look like they'd fall over on their own.

I tried to get one and I got two!

It sounded rotten, the wood did.

Why not show me something cooler?

-I think I saw something.

-Let's go.

You did awesome!

You did awesome, Chevy!

Two poles!

Somebody's going to have to clean all this up, you know.

'Rutledge's first annual telephone pole pole-down was entertaining

'but it wasn't the best way to show off a truck's towing capacity.

'To show them my Ford was the toughest truck,

'I found the biggest and heaviest thing around.'

Pulling down a few toothpicks doesn't show what a truck can do.

I agree with you, but this?

Yeah, this shows what a truck can do.

There's no way you'll be able to pull a train!

You have an engine and a coal car. You know how much that weighs?

That is 140 tons back there,

280,000 lb of steel and iron.

-And what's your tow capacity?

-Just shy of that.

OK, it's not load-rated for what I'm about to do

but I just want to prove to you why Ford is the ultimate truck.

-This is what "Made in America" means, my friends.

-Step back.

I'm going to get a good vantage point here.

Truck. Train.

Truck, train, coal car.

Moron.

-This is never going to work.

-This is 140 tons,

280,000 lb of train. There is no way I can tow this.

Yeah! Oh, you almost got it!

Come on!

That rope's going to snap.

Come on!

Now it's time for a part of the show we call Big Star, Small Car,

where we put a celebrity in our Suzuki to see who can set the fastest lap time

and our big star is one of my favourite comedians,

Bill Engvall!

CHEERING

All right.

You ready for this, pal?

I am ready for this. I've watched the show, big fan of the show,

I've signed the will and my kids are taken care of

-and everything that needed to be evacuated got evacuated.

-Good.

-I'm ready.

-We can hose out anything that comes out of you.

I noticed it was Tefloned and all that, so that's good.

OK, you get in, tear it up, I'll take the audience and meet you at the hangar.

We'll see you in the hangar.

All right, let's go. Have a good one, pal.

CHEERING

All right, here we go. The dumbest thing I've ever done.

All right, he's off to a good start.

Until now.

Here comes the first turn.

Stay composed behind the wheel.

Sometimes you have to go slower to go faster.

-I turned on the wipers!

-Apparently he heard it'll rain.

Bill is approaching a turn called the Teardrop.

You cannot carry a lot of speed through here or you will spin out.

Oh, that was nice!

-This is where you can really get on it.

-Now we're getting the speed.

There's an 85.

Oh, my God, 90.

Haven't taken out a camera, that's good.

-He's pretty good past the tyres.

-Woo!

HE LAUGHS

And he's having a good time!

My God, this thing has some juice!

There you go, this is Cameraman's Curve coming up.

Oh, that went nice. Very nice, here we go.

Now taking it home, baby! Daddy's hauling the mail!

OK, here comes Daddy with the mail around the last turn

and he is across the line!

That was better than sex, let me tell you that now.

I'm going to need a cigarette after this is over.

APPLAUSE

Bill! Come on up!

Bill, come on up here.

Bill Engvall!

-How was that, brother? Did you have fun?

-That was crazy.

Yeah?

There was times that it was really fun,

then there were times I had things puckering I didn't know I had.

LAUGHTER

That's a lot like marriage!

-Yeah, exactly!

-How did you like the Suzuki?

-You know, I was impressed with that little car.

-Really?

-It had a little pep to it.

-You need to raise your goals.

LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE

I will tell you, when the show called

and said, "Do you want to be on?" I said of course

and they said, "If you want to bring your own car, you can."

And so I looked at my wife,

who has an Aston Martin Vantage.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

And I said, "Honey?"

And she goes, "No, no."

-So, your wife has an Aston?

-She has an Aston.

I have a '50 Chevy pickup, that I've had redone.

I have a '77 Volkswagen van.

-You still smoke pot?

-Yeah.

-But it's all medical, now.

-Yeah.

-It's all purely medical.

It's the glaucoma.

And then I have a Mercedes S600, which I just love.

-That's big.

-Yeah. I love that car but when you step on the gas, you hear this.

SUCKING NOISE

And just watch the gauge go...

What was your first car?

My first car ever was a 1962 Ford Falcon.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

It was a two-door three-on-the-tree

and I tricked that thing out.

You pimped out a 62?

I had blue shag carpet in the back window,

yeah, oh, it gets better,

I had a metal foot for a gas pedal.

And then I put my own eight-track in

and had a date that night, so I got my best make-out music,

-the best of Bread.

-Bread?

And I'm driving, I pop that eight-track in,

I'm driving, and suddenly I realise

the whole car has filled with smoke because I've short-wired it somehow.

It was a great car for me, it was a great make-out car,

because the passenger seat, if you put enough weight on it,

would fall backward.

Insta-bed.

Now, did you discover that, or did you rig that to happen?

No, it actually happened by accident.

My girlfriend at the time and I were parking outside of her house.

And I leaned over to make my move

and the seat just went...

And she said, "Well, this is convenient."

"Yes, it is!"

I don't know why Ford never put that option in another car, because...

I'm happy you're here. You enjoyed the lap?

-I had the greatest time.

-How do you think you did? How fast?

I don't know. I'm looking at those times

and I worry that I'm going to be slower than Chumlee.

I got to beat Buzz Aldrin. What is he, like, 90?

But that's in moon time.

Well, let me tell you something. You did it in one...

forty...

four...

Oh!

..point three!

Oh!

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

All right, all right!

Put down Bret Michaels, baby!

That's it, man! That's impressive!

My pal Bill Engvall!

Now, you're originally from Texas.

-Correct.

-Big trucks in Texas.

If you don't have a truck, there's no point driving anything.

What's, in your opinion, the best dually?

Best dually, for my money,

would have to be the Dodge Ram.

You're absolutely right. It is the Dodge Ram,

which you will see as we get back to our Toughest Truck Challenge.

This is what "Made in America" means, my friends. Step back.

I'm going to get a good vantage point here.

Yeah! Oh, you almost got it!

Come on!

That rope's going to snap.

Keep going, come on!

It's moving.

It's moving!

Yes! That's what I'm talking about!

There is no way he is pulling a train right now.

Are you kidding me?

Yes!

-Yeah, but it's on wheels.

-Yeah.

-It's on wheels!

-It doesn't count.

-You know what?

-Doesn't count!

It's a train!

-On wheels!

-No big deal.

Not impressive at all.

I'll show you something impressive. Watch the Ram.

-Follow me, Thomas.

-What?

That's funny. That's about Thomas the Tank Engine.

It's a kids' show. Thomas, he's a train.

He's on an island and the front of the train is his face.

-What's the island called?

-Sodor.

So sad.

There's Percy, there's Thomas...

Um, there's Clara,

there's a whole bunch of them, a whole gang of them.

So, to top Tanner's Ford pulling a 280,00-lb train

I needed something massive, gargantuan,

something so big, I could prove that my Ram was the toughest truck.

Two termite-infested telephone poles

and a train on wheels.

-Hey...

-Speak not, just watch. Watch and learn.

Here comes the Ram, boys!

It was a 280,000-lb train.

On wheels!

The cables were still...I mean, it was a functioning telephone pole.

HE CACKLES

-Such a bad idea.

-We're going to pull down a house.

CACKLES

-Ah, this is going to be great. Total catastrophe.

-Ready, fellas?

-Uh...is there an answer to that question, really?

-Here we go.

You feel confident in his ability to do this?

No, he's going to mess this all up, and it's a house.

Oh my gosh!

Hey, you're...

just digging a hole. That was impressive.

Watch him figure this out. This'll be good.

Remain calm! All is well.

-That house is just laughing at you.

-Yeah, he's going to yank it now.

Oh, this is going to look bad.

Almost there! Rome wasn't built in a day, fellas!

Go big or go home!

Oh, don't! Don't say that! Don't say that to him!

Ha-ha!

I think you did it.

I'm pretty sure you just pulled that house down!

You pulled this house down!

I feel like a lot of asbestos just went into my lungs.

Are you OK?

-That was awesome.

-Yeah.

So, I think we proved that the Ram is the toughest truck.

I... The house, first of all, is not as heavy as the train.

This thing was falling in on itself. Those poles were in the ground.

Those poles were put up during the Eisenhower administration. Stop it.

Maybe, maybe. They were still in there.

But they were rotten, and the train,

a good wind could've blown that train, it was on wheels on a track. This was a house.

Gentlemen, I pulled down a house!

It's pretty impressive.

You took a lot of tries, though.

We need to go before these people get home.

OK. That's actually a good call.

CHEERING, APPLAUSE

Gentlemen, I hope you paid attention.

That's how you prove you have the toughest dually.

You pull down a house.

CHEERING

-Yes!

-I've got to admit,

I'm kind of confused at what that has to do with having a dually.

People buy these trucks for towing, right? I'm the only one that actually towed anything.

There's no description if you look in a truck magazine,

let's see, has it pulled down a house? "Oh, yeah, it has."

Has it, over its load capacity, pulled a train eight feet?

Oh, that's not on there either.

"Wait a minute, honey! This pulled down telephone poles!

"This is the truck for us!"

-There's a footnote for that.

-And for drag racing?

Who buys pickups for speed,

unless you're robbing a Walgreens in Georgia?

I'll tell you who buys trucks for speed.

Everyone that buys a cool truck.

-AUDIENCE: Yeah!

-Thank you.

You beat me by four inches, maybe?

I don't think that matters. I beat you.

You smoked the tyres in the burnout

and then we tied on the truck ramp,

which means the Chevy is the strongest truck in America!

-See you next time!

-It's not!

-It is!

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