Glamour Wogan: The Best Of

'It was a show that went out three nights a week live...'

-Mr Wogan? You're on.

-'..with a live audience

'and everyone who was anyone dropping in -

'the great and the good, the bad and the ugly

'and they called it Wogan.

'I never knew why.

'So, if you're sitting comfortably,

'I'll show you something I made earlier.'

God knows what they'll make of us in 25 years' time.

Welcome. There's a touch of glamour to today's show.

It's not just me, either.

All of my guests have something of the extravagant,

the exotic, the flamboyant about them.

We've got Dolly Parton, Whitney Houston,

Sophia Loren and Boy George.

But we're starting with a Hollywood legend,

steeped in the magic of the cinema - Lauren Bacall.

We broke the budget trying to make her feel at home

by leaving, in her dressing room,

a bunch of flowers bought that very day

from Shepherd's Bush finest petrol station.

For some reason, she wasn't impressed.

And I was somewhat disappointed.

We sent you a bouquet of flowers and...

-Did you?

-..I saw them in your dressing room

and you didn't seem to like them very much.

I didn't mean to give you that impression.

I actually love flowers, but they were so...

It was such an enormous presentation

that I didn't really think it was for me.

LAUGHTER

I'm not used to receiving so many flowers.

I shall take half of them, if that's the way you feel.

LAUGHTER

The role, if we can go back, the role they created for you

in your first film was to be,

as Howard Hawks said, tougher than Bogart.

But you weren't exactly like that, were you, at the time?

Well, he wanted somebody...

Howard's idea, of course, was to have a woman

who could give as good as she got, you know,

and who was able to stand up against somebody

who had a kind of...

..all-encompassing personality that an actor like Bogart had

and so he made me something that I've had to live up to ever since.

Were you anywhere like that in reality yourself - a tough lady?

Oh, no. It wasn't tough. It was insolent. He didn't want...

It wasn't toughness, you see. That's not the word.

It was someone that wouldn't take it, you know.

I mean, that was very vulnerable,

but if insulted, would stand up for herself.

A kind of liberated lady of her time, really.

I've always been liberated.

And you've always stood up for yourself, I'd say.

I have no-one else to stand up for me. Do you want to do it?

-Take on the job?

-Certainly.

Anybody who turns on you tonight, I shall let them have it...

Oh, it's only tonight? LAUGHTER

That won't do me much good. I'm sorry.

If you were thinking longer-term,

I'd have to ring up the wife first and clear it with her.

-LAUGHTER She can come along.

-Can she?

-Sure.

-That's really interesting.

-I don't mind.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-SHE LAUGHS

Did you resent having that kind of image foisted on you?

Um...no, you see, I don't think in terms of image.

I hate the word to begin with.

I don't really understand what it means

any more than I understand what legend means.

I always thought legends were dead, so, I mean, I don't...

You know what I mean? I don't...

I don't identify at all with that word.

-Would you like me to...?

-I was just happy to have a job, frankly.

I was thinking I could do the introduction again

and leave out the legend bit.

-I won't bother, though.

-Do you want...?

-No, you carry on.

-We don't have time for all of that.

That's true. You were married to Bogart.

Was his off-screen... I won't use the word image.

..was his off-screen persona similar to his film?

Not at all. Not at all. No, no, no, no.

-He wasn't a tough guy?

-Oh, no, not at all.

He was a marshmallow. He was a very emotional...

No, he was a very, very emotional, sensitive man

who was actually brought up on the right side of the tracks

with a doctor for a father and an artist for a mother

and he was always considered a gent,

which, of course, bore very little resemblance to the parts he played.

So, he was nothing like that.

He was also a very well-read, intelligent man and very funny.

Now, let me see, what was wrong with him?

Now, just a minute. LAUGHTER

I'm painting this picture of this pure creature.

-He's not here to defend himself.

-No, he wasn't pure, but...

No, he wasn't like that, but he was...

He was marvellous to me, actually, in the film

because I was so terrified and he helped...

Well, you didn't look terrified.

Were you terrified doing that whistle scene, for instance?

Well, I think by then, I had probably managed

to control my terror a little bit more, but that was...

I mean, we were halfway through the film,

but I was terribly nervous.

I'm always nervous. I'm nervous now.

I'm a nervous wreck. LAUGHTER

-You hide it well. You mask it well.

-Thank you.

Now, you and he were both independent spirits

and you both had trouble with the studios.

-You, in particular, had trouble with Warner Brothers, didn't you?

-Yes.

-Independent spirits usually do have trouble, don't you find?

-Yes.

I mean, I think that...

I mean, Jack Warner's attitude was that actors were employees

and we did not consider that we were employees

and that he felt we should do as we were told.

Unfortunately, he didn't have a lot of taste

in choosing parts in films

so if you wanted to do something better,

you were in trouble and what happened is that you got into arguments

and you ended up on suspension and didn't work for a while and...

But even in spite of all of that, films then were wonderful.

Mostly terrific.

And Warner Brothers actually produced some of the best films ever made

that will live forever, long after some of today's films will.

You don't think that there was something to be said

for this treatment of actors as if they were pieces of merchandise?

Oh, no. No, no, no.

I don't think there's ever anything to be said for that. No.

No, I don't think there was,

but I think that there were a lot of tremendously talented people

making films then.

I mean, the focus was totally in California.

-It wasn't diffused by television, you see.

-Yes, I see.

Do you detect a great difference between then and now

and the making of films?

Well, there's a tremendous difference.

Number one, in cost, number one, in the number of films,

number one, in the concentration of talent in one place.

It doesn't exist any more.

Everyone is everywhere. I mean, you go where the work is.

You seldom work where you live now. It's...

There still are some very talented people.

I mean, there are some young talented people in films,

but I don't think as many and they don't build stars to last

-and I think television has done that.

-I'm sure that's true.

-No offence.

No, quite, quite. We're prepared to take the...

We're prepared to take the sticks because, in fact,

it's very difficult to become a film star now

because people don't actually go out to movies

and you see people who are established feature players,

but they don't become stars like they used to in the '40s and '50s.

Well, they don't last, you see. Stars, to me, are people who last.

Just to have your name over the title for five minutes

is not a star, in my book, anyway, but I may...

You were 19 when you were a star.

-I was a wee girl, yeah.

-Was it hard to handle?

Well, it would have been harder to handle

had I not had Bogie, I'm sure.

And also I had a very solid upbringing so that I was...

My feet were quite firmly planted on the ground.

But it's pretty hard to keep your head

-when people say that you are the sun, the moon and the stars...

-Yeah.

..all rolled into one.

Are you glad it happened to you then

rather than it would happen to you now?

Well, I'm glad it happened at all. LAUGHTER

You know, I think I'm lucky that it happened at all.

Of course, as I was told once by a man called Moss Hart,

who was a playwright - a fine playwright - and director,

after To Have And Have Not opened, he said, "You understand, of course,

"that you have nowhere to go but down."

And he was absolutely right.

-HE LAUGHS

-I don't think that's true.

No, but it is true because if you are praised beyond your capabilities,

which new people very often are,

there's no way you can live up to that praise.

It's out of all proportion to anyone's ability, to any reality.

How does one follow the great Lauren Bacall?

We'll give it a try with a great pop performance from Whitney Houston.

It would all end tragically for poor Whitney,

but here she is, blooming with youth,

singing her first smash hit Saving All My Love For You.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# A few stolen moments

# Is all that we share

# You've got your family

# And they need you there

# Though I tried to resist

# Being last on your list

# But no other man's going to do

# So I'm saving all my love

# For you

# It's not very easy

# Living all alone

# My friends try and tell me

# Find a man of my own

# But each time I try

# I just break down and cry

# Cos I'd rather be home

# Feeling blue

# So I'm saving all my love

# For you

# You used to tell me

# We'd run away together

# Love gives you the right

# To be free

# You said be patient

# Just wait a little longer

# But that's just an old fantasy

# I've got to get ready

# Just a few minutes more

# Going to get that old feeling

# When you walk through that door

# Cos tonight is the night

# For feeling all right

# We'll be making love the whole night through

# So I'm saving all my love

# Yes, I'm saving all my love

# Yes, I'm saving all my love

# For you

# No other woman

# Is going to love you more

# Cos tonight is the night

# That I'm feeling all right

# We'll be making love

# The whole night through

# So I'm saving all my love

# Yeah, I'm saving all my love

# Yes, I'm saving all my love

# For you

# For you

# For you. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

On we pop to a singer and an actress

who's transformed herself dramatically over the years.

We first got to know her looking like this.

She'd go on, of course, to look like this.

This appearance finds her halfway between the two, really.

She'd been nominated for an Oscar for the film Silkwood

and was going to some lengths to look her best on the big night.

I feel really strange. You know, I have braces. You can tell.

-And I wasn't going to do...

-Only by your whistle.

I wasn't going to do any television

and it feels really weird to kind of...

Why have you got braces?

Surely that's the mark of the middle-class American child -

the braces on the teeth.

Yeah, except we had no money for braces when I was little.

You're having them now?

The reason I'm having them now is because... Two reasons.

I mean, I could cop out and say it's because I want to keep my teeth,

but it really isn't. My dentist wants me to keep my teeth

and I'd really like to have straight ones.

LAUGHTER

How long will you have to wear the brace?

Well, they come off the day of the Academy Awards.

Straight or not, I'm not going to go there with braces.

So, you think the Academy Awards are more important than this show?

LAUGHTER

But you have had things done to you anyway, haven't you?

You freely admit you've had plastic surgery...

-Yes, I have.

-..on various parts of your body.

-No, not on various. You know, that's kind of...

-Specific.

-Specific parts of your body.

-That's kind of...

It's a pain in the ass to admit to one thing.

You've got a butterfly on your ass, haven't you?

LAUGHTER That was a pain.

You admit to one thing

and then everyone has you doing everything.

I mean, I've had one thing done and I would have...

This is not to say that I wouldn't. If I needed to have something done,

I would certainly be the first one in the line to the doctor, you know.

But what's going to happen when all the people who have had

these kind of things done, when they get old?

It's all going to...

-..get tired.

-Well, I'll tell you something. My mother is...

-How old is my mother? My mother is...

-Be careful, now.

-She could be watching.

-No, my mother is 56, I think,

and she just had her face lifted

and my girlfriend Ange saw her and she couldn't believe...

My mother is so beautiful now.

Not that she wasn't really beautiful before, but, you know...

-I think it's worse in America. Women get older and men get...

-Older.

-..dignified or character.

-Yes.

But it's hard to be older in this business.

I can see it is hard to be older,

but shouldn't we all accept the fact that we are going to get older?

What's the point of having a 25-year-old face

-on a 56-year-old body?

-LAUGHTER

Well, I don't know about that.

I have a lot easier time keeping my body in shape than...

I can't imagine that...

I guess I'll have an old body one of these days,

but I can't imagine it.

I think of myself as, like, a jogging 75-year-old, you know.

So, I hope I'm going to be able to keep it up.

Will you accept the gradual disintegration

and will you be able to accept getting older?

I know we're getting older but I mean really getting older, older.

No, I can accept...

I mean, like, even what you said is really weird

because you said can I accept the gradual disintegration of my body?

I mean, I kind of see an old truck, you know, getting rusty

and, you know, going to hell.

I don't think I can accept that.

I could accept getting older, but I don't plan to disintegrate.

-LAUGHTER

-We all will in the end, though.

Well, I mean, you know, when I'm in the box, who cares?

LAUGHTER

Has the break in acting, do you think, come a bit late for you?

Yes, I think it has, but, you know, better now than never.

So, I mean, I would have liked to have been able to do it earlier,

but that's not what was on the cards for me so you have to be realistic.

How will you sustain the glamorous, popular image

along with the kind of part that you have got on Silkwood?

-Well, I don't know why it'll be hard to do that.

-Well...

I don't see it as being difficult.

-..if you're going to be taken seriously as an actress...

-Yeah.

..can the public be expected to take you seriously as an actress

if you come out in stunning diamante-studded gowns

slashed to the hip in Las Vegas?

Won't they find it a little difficult

to take you seriously in serious parts?

Well, you know, I'm not saying that I want to become a brain surgeon now.

I only want to be an actress so I think that that's...

You know, it was people won't buy you for no reason.

If you can put out good work, then they'll respect your work.

I'm not really asking anybody to love me

or to think that I, you know, have an IQ of a genius.

I'm just saying if you like the work that I do, that's great.

I'm certainly not going to change who I am

so that people will like my work. My work should stand on its own.

So, if I want to go and show my navel

or whatever else I want to show, then that's...

-You go and show it.

-OK. LAUGHTER

-Can I tell them that you told me to do that?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-It'll be all right.

-All right.

If you do that at the Oscars - take the braces off

-and show them your navel...

-OK.

-..I'll bet you'll win.

-Hope so.

-Cher, we wish you well.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Amazingly, the subject of cosmetic surgery

also raises its weird-looking head in this interview

with one of cinema's great beauties, the gorgeous Sophia Loren.

Here she is talking about the advice her husband gave her

after she'd failed some screen tests early in her career.

I made about 17 tests and not one came out good

because they said my nose was too long.

My nose is still long, but I succeeded

and my husband said,

"If you want to make a career, I think you should cut your nose."

LAUGHTER

I said, "I should cut my nose to make a career in movies?

"I mean, to become an actress with a capital A,

"I should cut my nose? Why?"

"Because you don't photograph well. You're not photogenic."

And I said, "Well, then I think I'll go back to Pozzuoli

"and be a little teacher in Pozzuoli and I'm going to be very happy."

So, um...

..nothing of this happens.

If you see, I still have a very long nose.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, I wouldn't have said so. No, no.

No, but it's very strange because when you start to be known...

..the people don't see your nose any more.

I mean, they look at you in a different way.

What do they see with you, do you think?

What is the feature about you that they most often remark upon?

My eyes, maybe.

Hmm. Your mouth, I think.

-Your mouth is extraordinary.

-LAUGHTER

Certainly, I hardly noticed your nose.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

-You've co-starred, of course, with some of the great leading men.

-Yes.

Who was your favourite? Who did you like best?

I mean, the Burtons and the Grants and the Sinatras

and Peter Sellers, all those people. Who did you like best?

You must have had a favourite that you liked best working with.

-There's no best, really. I mean...

-Personally, though.

..I'm very fond of Marcello Mastroianni

because we've been working together for...

In 12 films together so it's kind of a lifetime.

But I'm also very fond of Cary Grant and Peter Sellers

and Richard Burton, John Wayne, Clark Gable and...

-That's a very...

-The list is very long.

Yes, a very general answer there.

-You're not going to pick out any favourites at all?

-No.

-No?

You may not have to work with them again.

-LAUGHTER

-Pick out one.

-Pick out one?

-Yes.

You. LAUGHTER

-Because I never worked with you.

-When can we work together?

Because I never worked with you. I would like to try.

All the big lady stars...

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

In 1982, you went to prison.

-Yes.

-Yes. Was that...?

-CHUCKLING

There's nothing to laugh about.

No, I'm sure there isn't. There wasn't. That...

What sort of effect did that have on you?

Did it change your life? Did it change your approach to life?

Listen, I decided to do that on my own

because I thought it was the only, um...

possibility for me to do, to go back to Italy

and to see my mother, my sister and my nieces...

..and my other relatives, and...

I couldn't do anything else.

So I went, but I didn't know...

..what I was going to find there.

And, um...

It's something, it's an experience that I will never forget, and...

It's a traumatic experience for me

and, of course, it leaves, um...

-..a scar.

-Of course.

And, er...

Did they treat you like every other prisoner?

Why should it have been different?

Because you're Sophia Loren, obviously.

Yeah, because you've been reading the wrong papers.

I read in the papers that I had...

No, it was only a question, I didn't read it anywhere.

..pink carpet on the floor,

that I had a big bathroom

and, er...that I was treated,

that I had a television, colour television.

Erm...

You believe me?

I was imprisoned like everybody else and, er...

I had to be among all these girls that had committed crimes

and, er...

..it was not an easy experience for me.

But you're glad you've faced up to it, surely, and...?

I'm not glad.

Er, I think that, er,

this kind of experience is unrich, unriches you.

-Enrich, yeah.

-Enrich you very much.

And, erm...

But if they would ask me to do it again,

I would run.

I wouldn't go there any more.

It has been terrible.

Many top Hollywood stars are now,

um, as TV continues to go from strength to strength,

they're in TV soap operas.

Now, I had Rock Hudson on the show a couple of weeks ago

and he never told me he was going to go into Dynasty.

He kept it from me.

You're not thinking of moving into one of these soap operas?

Is it not true that you were at one time approached

to take one of these soap opera parts?

Oh, yeah, I've been approached many times

to do some series on television,

but, er...

I always reacted in a very instinct way.

Erm...

Erm...

Not reasoning really, I said, "No."

But then, I thought,

"I'm an actress...

"..if I go in a series,

"I have to play this character for months,

"and if I'm successful, maybe for years.

"And...

"How would I feel inside to play always, all the time,

"all over again, the same character?"

The wonderful thing, the magic thing of our profession

is to be able to go from one film to another,

changing character and disguise yourself,

and I think this is, it's wonderful.

And in a series on television, you can't do that,

so that's why I never accepted it.

Is it true that you were offered the Alexis Carrington part?

-The part that Joan Collins subsequently took?

-Yes.

Cos I can't quite see you in that part.

-No, I'm too good.

-You are too good!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS

I'll never forgive that Sofia Loren for putting her hand on my knee.

No false modesty from her,

but an unusual amount of modesty from this next performer.

She, she's got a bag on her head for most of the song.

Can you figure out who it is?

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

# Slave to the rhythm

# Oh, baby

# I'm just playing around, baby

# Work all day as men who know

# Wheels must turn to keep the flow

# Build on up, don't break the chain

# Sparks will fly when the whistle blows

# Never stop the action

# Keep it up, keep it up

# We'll sing, "Never stop the action"

# Keep it up

# Work to the rhythm

# Live to the rhythm

# Love to the rhythm

# Slave to the rhythm

# Axe to wood

# In ancient times

# Man machine

# Power line

# Fires burn

# Hearts beat strong

# Sing out loud

# The chain gang song

# Never stop the action

# Oh, keep it up, keep it up

# Never stop the action

# Come on, keep it up

# Breathe to the rhythm

# Dance to the rhythm

# Work to the rhythm

# Live to the rhythm

# Love to the rhythm

# Be a slave to the rhythm

# Oh, baby

# Don't cry

# It's only the rhythm

# Give in to the rhythm

# And you work to the rhythm

# Love to the rhythm

# Slave to the rhythm. #

And now, ladies and gentlemen...

Here's...

Grace!

# Slave

# To the rhythm

# To the rhythm

# Oh! #

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

Grace Jones, of course,

cover girl turned cover-up girl

and completely round the twist with it.

Her main claim to fame was slapping dear old Russell Harty.

She needed a good slap more than him.

Another flamboyant figure now, Boy George.

Seems extraordinary today when a woman with a beard

wins the Eurovision,

but putting on a dress and some make-up

seemed completely outrageous in 1984,

and it had turned George

into one of the most famous faces on the planet.

-Is it Boy or George?

-Erm...

-What do I call you?

-Well, friends call me George, so I suppose George.

-Yeah...

Well, when last we met at the TV Times Awards, do you remember?

I remember...a very macho actor Robert Mitchum.

He took an immediate smack to you, didn't he?

He wanted to adopt you, as I remember.

Well, actually, his wife was very charming

and, er, she just came up,

she didn't sort of make any comments about me,

cos I remember, Robert Mitchum was rather rude about me in The Sun...

I don't believe that, cos he seemed to want to be photographed with...

The thing that really hurt was that, erm...

you were the only one of the British stars that the Americans knew.

Oh, that's good, that's the way I like it.

The rest of those were being ignored,

but Robert Mitchum knew who you were immediately.

Why are you so big in America?

Why has it happened so quickly for you?

I think because we work hard,

and also because we haven't compromised on the way we look,

on the way that we think about things.

You know, we haven't gone to America and watered down our act.

A lot of English bands, when they're starting to feel success in America,

they went, they cut off their hair, they...

Took off their false eyebrows and, er, basically made a real compromise.

But with Culture Club,

my attitude was go there, give them some culture.

You know, bring them some English... AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS

And, you know, bring them some real English eccentricity,

because, I mean, let's face it,

England, our culture is based on eccentricity, you know.

And, er...I think that it's good for the Americans,

because a lot of the time, you know, their idea of glamour is very,

it's...our idea of glamour comes from the street.

Young kids are glamorous in England, you know.

A lot of fashion, a lot of the top fashion designers

steal their ideas from young people.

Like 15, you know, kids that are coming out of college.

Whereas in America, glamour is much older.

People are old stars and it's a new generation now.

But wasn't it hard for middle America, particularly?

I can understand the East Coast and the West Coast accepting you,

but the whole...what about the Bible Belt and the southern states?

I mean, what's their the reaction to you?

Well, the word accepting obviously doesn't come into it,

cos, erm, number one, they haven't accepted us at all.

I was watching a programme a week ago.

I woke up at six in the morning,

I was watching breakfast TV, I won't say which side.

And...there was a programme on about kids

that wore one white glove to school, Michael Jackson fans,

and the headmaster said,

IN AN AMERICAN ACCENT: "God dammit,

"if we let them wear this, they might dress up as Boy George." LAUGHTER

And that kind of really brought it home to me

that they just, they love the music,

but they haven't accepted me, not at all.

I mean, they've, you know, when we did the Grammy Awards,

I turned around and I said,

"America, you know a good drag queen when you see one."

And of course, it was like, they analyse that.

And the next day, in some of the colleges in middle America

were analysing what I'd said.

You know, "What you think of what George says?" You know?

So, I think that they're very worried about me there.

They kind of... AUDIENCE LAUGHS

But then, I suppose, that's the general attitude all over the world.

The strange thing about, if I may say so, about your audience here,

and I'm not sure if this is true of America,

but certainly here, it's right across the board.

It's very young to very old.

Why? Why do you think that should be?

I think because in England we're far more liberal,

we're far more democratic.

I mean, you know, you can complain about this country, you know,

but basically, it's the best country in the world,

you know, for everything, you know.

All the best things happen, you know, music.

England, I think is like a laboratory for ideas,

and all the best things happen here.

I mean, whether or not we capitalise on our best assets is another thing.

I mean, I think a lot of the time, you know,

we could really put more into our musicians.

Like at school, I was never really encouraged to do music.

It was, you can't kick a ball, right, outside the class.

You know, it was, it was, erm, it wasn't a case of...

giving you and making you do what you were good at,

it was a case of do everything else...

But maybe you were an unconventional pupil.

-I don't think so.

-I mean, I bet you were.

I wasn't, actually. I think that I knew what I wanted.

I think there are very few people who know what they want, obviously.

But your headmaster reckoned you were unteachable.

Well, he was, he was very untalkable to.

LAUGHTER

Do you get people being aggressive to you because of the way you look?

-Um...

-Well, unpleasant.

I haven't really ever been attacked, because I'm quite big.

-And also, because I think...

-And your father was a boxer as well.

Yeah, and also, I think the main thing is

that I walk up with my head up.

I used to have a shop in Carnaby Street,

and there used to be gangs of skinheads on the corner,

and I used to go round in high-heeled shoes.

I don't wear them any more, of course.

But I used to walk about with outrageous outfits,

and they never used to hit me.

It'd be, they'd shout and I'd go... HE BLOWS RASPBERRY

You know, and, er, various things to that kind of form.

And people never used to bother me.

I don't know, I think that you, it's like dogs,

you know, if you're frightened of a dog, it'll bite you,

and I think you have to be confident, I mean, I'm not scared of anybody.

I haven't got to justify myself. I can...

Do you get bothered by, now that's the butch bothering...

Do you get bothered by the more effeminate

sections of the community?

Oh, one guy came up to me once in a club

and said, "You don't defend gays."

I said, well, I don't believe anybody is anything.

I think everybody should be,

if you aren't strong enough to stick up for yourself, tough luck.

He got very upset. Cos I said I'm not a poofter in the paper,

and what I meant was that I'm not, you know, a teapot, short and stout.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS You know, I am a man.

I'm not trying to kind of kill some desire to be a woman.

I mean, I'm totally a man,

and when I go into the bathroom in the morning,

I'm quite aware of what I am.

I don't feel responsible for any section of the community.

I love everybody.

Anybody who wants to like me,

whether they're gay or straight or dogs, cats, you know,

any, budgies, any culture.

I mean, I'll have anyone who wants me.

-And they seem to, they seem to.

-They do.

-Thank you, Boy George.

-Thank you.

AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS

Finally, one of my favourite ever guests,

Dolly Parton.

Always a joy to talk and listen to.

Now, when she first came on the show,

she'd just made her first film, 9 To 5,

and written the cracking title track that went with it.

AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS

Who's out there?

# I tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen

# Pour myself a cup of ambition

# Yawn and stretch and try to come to life

# And I jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin'

# Out on the street the traffic starts jumpin'

# With folks like me on the job from 9 to 5

-# Workin'

-9 to 5

# What a way to make a livin'

# Barely gettin' by

# It's all takin' and no givin'

# They'll just use your mind

# But they'll never give you credit

# It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

-# 9 to 5

-Yeah, for service and devotion

-# You would think that I

-Would deserve a fair promotion

-# Want to move ahead

-But the boss won't seem to let me

# I swear sometimes that man is out to get me

# But they let you dream just to watch 'em shatter

# You're just a step on the boss-man's ladder

# But you got dreams he'll never take away

# Oh, you're in the same boat with a lot of your friends

# Waitin' for the day your ship'll come in

# The tide's gonna turn and it's all gonna roll your way

# I just know it!

# Workin' 9 to 5

# What a way to make a livin'

# Barely gettin' by

# Well, it's all takin' and no givin'

# They'll just use your mind

# But they'll never give you credit

# It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

# 9 to 5

# Yeah, for service and devotion

-# You would think that I

-Would deserve a fair promotion

# I want to move ahead

# But the boss won't seem to let me

# I swear sometimes that man is out to get me

-# 9 to 5

-Yeah

# They got you where they want you

# There's a better life

# And you dream about that don't you?

# It's a rich man's game

# I don't care what they call it

# And you spend your life puttin' money in his wallet

# 9 to 5

# Workin' 9 to 5

# Just workin' 9 to 5

# You're workin' 9 to 5

# Workin' 9 to 5

# Ye-e-e-ah #

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS AND CHEERS

INDISTINGUISHABLE SPEECH

-Thanks for that.

-Smashing.

-That's rough on a fat girl.

-That was pretty good.

No, I wouldn't say there is an ounce of superfluous flesh on you.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Aw, thank you, I know, I wouldn't be on your show now.

-Yeah, I've lost a bit of weight myself.

-Have you? Really? How much?

-I don't want to talk about it.

-OK, well, we won't.

Because it may come back if I talk about it.

-Yeah, I know what you mean.

-If you ignore it, it goes away.

-I know.

Now, 9 To 5 was really your entry into Hollywood,

into films and...did you find that tough?

No, that was actually one of the easier things I've ever done.

I had not...decided on whether or not I was to do the movies

until this particular script came up,

because I had been offered a lot of things,

I was beginning to be fairly popular at home on television.

Your modesty, your modesty does you credit.

No, but I'm talking about as far as records,

and I had done a lot of talk shows like this, the Johnny Carson show

and some of the shows very similar to this.

-Johnny...?

-Carson.

-Carson.

Yeah, I don't know... AUDIENCE LAUGHS

But anyway, when this particular script came up,

with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin,

I thought, "Well, this'll be great,

"if it's a big success, then I can take credit for it.

"And if it's a flop, I'll blame it on Jane and Lily," so...

On one of your projects, which tickled me,

because everything is going, even in this country now,

they're beginning to get the idea of theme parks...

-Oh, yeah!

-..and you have an idea, you have an idea for a Dolly theme park.

I have an idea that I've had for years

that now is beginning to become a reality.

There's a place in East Tennessee called Gatlinburg

in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park,

which is one of the biggest tourist areas in the United States,

and I happen to be born and raised in that part of the country.

And there will be a new park, a new city, actually,

called Dollywood USA.

And, er...and it will be, it's like a mountain fantasy,

it's like the Walt Disney land, it's like Disneyland,

only it will be in the Smoky Mountains

and I would say within three to five years

that it will be a big, big park.

We have a golf course, I'm going to have a race track,

we'll have all the fantasy things,

and it's something that is a major dream of mine.

Yeah, what kind of Dolly fantasies will you have?

Well, we'll have like honeymoon suites in the mountains

like where you can, you know, like, for the people.

We'll have a chapel where you can get married there.

You can also spend your whole honeymoon there,

where people bring the food in too.

-We'll have a teen town...

-You'll never have to leave your room.

No, you won't have to leave your room if you don't want.

But we'll also have services for babies, baby-sitting.

Pets, you know, for pets, where you can leave your pets.

We'll have the recreational parks, the whole thing.

Basically, well, very similar nature to the, to Disneyland,

only there will be many, many other things.

Canoeing, horseback riding, camping out,

and actually sort of a Southern way of life.

A combination of all the wonderful things of this world

that people look for.

Will be shaped in the contours of Dolly Parton?

Well, I'm the only person that ever left the Smoky Mountains

and took 'em with her. AUDIENCE LAUGHS

So maybe we'll have some... AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

For many men, you are a fantasy figure.

Um, does that mean that you get resentment from women?

No, it don't.

As a matter of fact, like I said to you earlier,

some find me sexy, some find me ridiculous.

But I find that I have more...

I think it's wonderful that somebody can say

that some, some find me ridiculous, it speaks of tremendous honesty.

Well, it is an honesty because, like I say,

I can see myself very well,

cos I'm not really your basic beauty, I mean...

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

Well, I mean, you have to understand that

I know myself probably better than anybody else,

but women do not resent me

because the fact that they can say to their husband

if their husband or their boyfriend, if they get all out of hand,

they can say, "Oh, you don't know,

"she may be completely bald under that wig!"

Or, "You don't know if those are for real or not."

So they kind of have something to... AUDIENCE LAUGHS

..to strike back with

and I think the fact that I have been, had enough nerve to...

you know, do some of the things that I've done

or look some of the ways that I've looked

and wear some of the things that I've worn.

I think it kind of, in some ways,

I think it gives some women a chance to say,

"Well, if I had the nerve, I would do that"

or, you know, "Don't get too out of hand,

"cos you don't know if any of it's real or not," so...

When you get to this stage of being old granny Parton...

SHE GIGGLES Thank you.

..what are going to do?

-Are you still going to wear the rhinestones and...?

-Probably.

Probably, if I feel led to.

You know, it's kind of like one of those things

if I, I would imagine I'll be quite a character when I'm older.

I would love to always be able to just be

whatever seems to make me happy.

And I would love to be able to write songs and to write books

and be sort of like Agatha Christie

and always be productive,

and be an adviser to other people in the business

and so, I'm trying to learn all I can.

But I'm sure I'll be as ridiculous as an old lady

-as I am as a young one.

-I don't think you're ridiculous.

Somebody said to me once,

"What do you want people to say about you 100 years from now?"

And I said, "I want 'em to say,

"'Boy, does she ever look good for her age.'"

So that's sort of like I'd like them to think.

-Dolly Parton, thank you.

-Thank you.

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

Goodbye, Dolly.

That has to be a cue for me to shuffle off to Buffalo

and count the hours till we can be together again.