The Maggie

Here, take a look at this.

Isn't that the... ..the "Maggie".

Coming in as bold as brass!

I never thought we'd see HER again.

Didn't her skipper cause all that trouble in the Kyles? Aye.

They're asking for it this time.

I'm still master of this vessel !

Could ye no' at least have waited till dark?

We'll only be here long enough to find ourselves a cargo.

-They'd never expect us to have the effrontery to come in by day.

-Ach (!)

-Will ye grease the wire blocks, laddie?

-Aye.

-And there's four buttons missin' on my shirt.

-Aye.

HEY ! Hey, you, down there! >

Where's Captain MacTaggart?

He's away to Pollockshaws. He'll no' be back for a fortnight.

We'll wait.

MOCKING LAUGHTER

Aye, ye're very smug wi' yer gold braid and yer pensions an' yer five days a week!

-But ye're no better than hirelings. Ye haven't the freedom of operation that

-I

-have.

Ye haven't the dignity of yer own command.

As for my boat, there's not a finer vessel anywhere!

-There's...

-..two men aboard us in bowler hats!

Inspectors!!

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

Hamish! Come on!

There's 7d. owing!

I've no change. You pay him, lad.

< You better grab them, Dan, or ye'll no' get yer 7d. !

It's the wee boy that pays! >

They tell me the truant officer's after you for going to sea before you finished with school.

It's no' true. I'm over 15.

-Well, that old puffer will no' be putting out again.

-She WILL !

-It's time MacTaggart was put ashore.

-Don't say that about the Captain!

Captain (!) Him (?)

UPROAR

Take your hands off me! Let go!

You big fushionless gommeril ! I'll get Hamish to you!

He's as big a rogue as the rest!

-Is it the loading license?

-Aye.

-If they take that away, we'll no' be able to carry ANY cargo.

-Aye.

-Not until she's had her plates repaired.

-Aye.

-Is that what we need the £300 for?

-Aye, that's right.

I tell you, MacTaggart, she's finished.

-Could we no' borrow the money?

-Who from?

-We can...

-Excuse me.

-We can offer him a quarter share in the "Maggie" for £300.

-But what about Sarah?

I could say my sister has a sort of a...share in the boat.

-I'm acting on her behalf.

-Aye, it's a good idea.

Good morning.

We were wanting to speak to Mr Campbell.

Well, if you care to wait...

We've no time to waste.

Telephone and say I'm on my way.

Mr Campbell, if you'd wait...

You heard the Captain! We've no other vessel available.

Mr Marshall won't like this.

I can't do a thing about it!

Try and get me a taxi.

< World International Airlines? Mr Marshall, please.

Mr Campbell, can you spare a moment?

< It should have gone to Kiltarra days ago. The builders are waiting.

I'm sure he'll pay the highest rate.

Mr Marshall ? Pusey here. No, I'm afraid not.

< There's been a further delay. It's the shipping agency...

-We'd like to discuss a matter of business.

-I'm sorry, MacTaggart. Come back this afternoon at three.

< There just isn't a boat available for charter.

< Not before tomorrow night, and even that isn't guaranteed.

I know, but there just isn't a boat!

If...if...

If it's a cargo for Kiltarra you have, there's a boat right here.

What...?

I don't... Excuse me, Mr Marshall.

There seems to be some confusion. Now they say there IS a boat.

But Mr Cam... Sir?

The Captain?

-Are YOU the Captain?

-Yes.

-Yes, Mr Marshall. Certainly.

-It's Calvin B. Marshall, general overseas manager of World...

-Oh, yes.

Aye? Captain MacTaggart speaking.

Aye, we have.

And ye want it to Kiltarra by Thursday noon? Oh, easily.

I-insurance...?

£4,000...!!?

Oh, we'll see to that, sir. Aye.

Who?

Mr Marshall, I'm not quite sure...

-AMERICAN ACCENT ON PHONE:

-Just make sure it's a sound boat. That's all that matters.

-You can catch the afternoon plane.

-Yes, I think...

MARSHALL HANGS UP

If a boat is available, why didn't Mr Campbell say so!?

-I was just trying to explain to him that we...

-Where is the boat lying?

A few hundred yards down the road.

If you don't mind, I'll take a look.

-Now, where is the, eh...?

-This way, sir.

-Now, will you give me an estimate of the charges?

-Well...it's difficult to say...

Maybe...

-£300.

-Thr...!? That seems rather high!

However, the goods are lying in Berth 17, ready for shipment.

There's a variety of material, all extremely valuable,

so I've to make certain the ship is perfectly sound.

Well, I see no cause for concern > on that score.

Shall we go back to the office? Or, better still, settle it here.

Aye, that's a better idea.

I can agree to 300. If you will just sign the inventory...

In triplicate.

I'd like Mr Campbell to phone me tomorrow so that I can be certain everything got away all right.

Oh, it will.

-You'll want something on account. I'll give you a cheque...

-Cash would be better, sir.

-I only have about £50...

-That'll do fine.

-You can give us the rest when the job's done.

-Well, I must... Goodbye.

Good day to you, sir.

Guid luck tae ye.

He seems to be victim of a serious misunderstanding.

­ Ach, if he dealt wi' the CSS the villains would do him down.

It's a stove.

Aye, but, Hamish, do ye see this? Four baths!

All on the one island!

Come on, you've outstayed! Come on! Time, gentlemen!

I'll give you a hand.

­ Oh, my concertina!

I'll take that.

-Captain, sir.

-Aye?

-Is it no' about low tide?

-Aye.

-With all this cargo, are we no' runnin' a bit low in the water?

-Aye, but...

Is it no' a bit dangerous on this part o' the river, where there's...

-Haud yer wheesht!

-Ye're no Captain yet, laddie!

-Away an' make us some tea!

CRASH !

Hello? Mr Campbell on the line, Mr Pusey. Thank you.

Hello, Mr Campbell. I was anxious and thought I'd phone you. I trust the cargo got away all right?

Pardon? The cargo on the boat, of course.

"What boat"!? The boat I chartered.

You found a boat, then?

"Found" a boat? He's impossible!

This lad's off his head!

Arranged with whom...!? MACTAGGART !?

It's MacTaggart there's all the fuss about down in the Broomielaw!

In all my experience, I...

And...and...it's still there?

Mr Pusey, MacTaggart has nothing to do with our organisation.

H-h-he's m-m-master of an old p-puffer, the "M-M-Maggie"!

Oh, no...! It's not possible...!

HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER OVER PHONE

-INTERCOM:

-Send Pusey in.

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Hello? Hello...?

-He gave me his signature.

-Well ?

-He signed the inventory.

-So?

-So I chartered the boat.

-And?

-Campbell says the cargo is not on the boat, it's in Glasgow.

They haven't gone to Kiltarra. They're stuck on the subway.

Let me get one thing straight a BOAT is stuck on a SUBWAY ?

-I was sailin' this river while you were eatin' saps!

-The subway lies...

-The subway's a menace to navigation!

-You had no right to go out at that state of the tide!

-My ship...

Captain?

I'm from the "Evening News". Would you care to make a statement?

-I'm considering bringing an action.

-And what's your destination?

-Kiltarra.

-What are you carrying?

A very valuable cargo belonging to Mr Calvin B. Marshall.

Kiltarra, eh?

-< How will you get her off?

-I'll wait for the tide.

-Ahoy! >

Are ye hangin' on (?)

Mrs Marshall asked me to remind you you're giving a dinner party tonight.

CHEERING

"Evening News". >

-"Evening News".

-Let me have one.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, you're here in Glasgow, Mr Pusey.

HE LAUGHS

Oh, did you take my fountain pen?

-­

-I want to speak to the manager about the puffer "Maggie"!

I don't like your tone, Mr Pusey.

But, Campbell, I-I...

< But they were in your office!

Then whose responsibility IS it!?

-But that's...

-Let me talk to him.

Calvin B. Marshall speaking. Sorry to trouble you. It seems we're causing you...

Yes, I came up to get things straightened. Yes, at the Central.

I'd be obliged if you could spare us a few moments. Here?

Well, that's very kind of you.

-If you're in a man's office and others come in...

-Don't panic.

-Don't try to blame Campbell for your mistakes.

-You spoke to Captain MacTaggart yourself...

It doesn't matter who's to blame. I'll straighten it out in an hour. Book us on the night train.

Hello, operator.

He even asked if I took his pen!

VOICES >

My name is Campbell... Oh, good evening, Mr Pusey.

There's a reporter and, eh...

I want to see this Mr Marshall.

Just tell him it's Sarah MacTaggart.

-How do you do? You're very kind to help us in this manner.

-Not at all.

-A drink?

-A whisky, thank you.

-And a Vichy water for me. Won't you sit down?

-Thank you.

Room service?

-It's, eh, quite a boat. Is that MacTaggart here?

-Yes.

He's a crafty old boy. No wonder he was able to put one over on Pusey.

A man wouldn't need to be very quick to leave Mr Pusey behind (!)

-This puffer you hired...

-We didn't...

-The paper says you did!

-Are your goods aboard or not?

-No... Yes...

-Then I want to see the owner!

-No, no, no, no, no!

Put it there.

I don't want to go to the police, but from the look of her and the way MacTaggart navigates,

I want my cargo off that boat.

-We can radio MacTaggart...

-You can't. There's no radio.

A cargo vessel without a radio!?

-They usually carry coal.

-COAL !?

I've got £4,000 worth of stuff on that boat! How DO I get in touch?

-I can give you a list of harbourmasters.

-I'll get Pusey on it.

-It's very...

-Ah, here ye are!

CONFUSED BABBLE

Now, just a minute... PLEASE !

Who is this woman?

Sarah MacTaggart, legitimate owner of the puffer! Whatever you owe must be paid to me!

-Mrs MacTaggart...

-MISS.

-Miss, I owe you no money at all.

-On the contrary, your father...

-He's my brother, the black-heart...

Whoever he is, he stole £4,000...

-Who... Who's THIS !?

-I don't... Frazer, of the "Evening News".

What!? You mean...? Are YOU the one who thinks this is so funny!?

SHIP'S FOGHORN

AHOY, MACTAGGART.

YOU'RE TO TELEPHONE THE CENTRAL HOTEL, TO A MR MARSHALL.

AHOY... MACTAGGART !

MACTAGGART !!

Yes, honey, just a routine business matter. What? Uh-huh.

Either by train tonight or plane tomorrow.

Well, if I stay over, I'll ring you later tonight, dear.

Thanks for calling, honey. Bye-bye.

-Yes?

-The harbour master at Greenock says the puffer arrived...

-Great! Now, here's the plan...

But they just turned around and sailed away again...!

-She's not making more than 5 knots!

-She's making six.

-Five!

-SIX !

-Then see if she'll make SEVEN !

-Ye cannae make seven!

-What's the matter wi' ye!?

-If we're to get to Kiltarra...

-Who stuck the boat on the subway!?

I'll have no insubordination!

Insubordination!? Who was too drunk to get out of Campbeltown harbour!?

Face me like a man, ye old goat! I'm goin' to resign. Ye hear...

It's him. Let's have another look.

If he does that again, let him have it! Both barrels!

They're making for the Crinan Canal.

Where can you set us down?

Campbeltown. If you hire a car > you can catch them before the Canal.

Will it be the American, Marshall ?

If it is, he'll see how far we've come and he'll not worry.

Anyway, we'll be safe in the Canal.

-What kind of boat is it, sir? Is it a puffer by any chance?

-Yes.

Ach, they're always getting into trouble.

Did you read about the one that got stuck on the subway? MacTaggart, her skipper is.

I've seen him drunk three times in one day.

And the engine...

CONCERTINA PLAYING

-Hamish!

-What?

-Pheasants!

-Skipper?

-Ship's stores are gettin' low.

-Aye.

Off ye go.

RAUCOUS SQUAWKING OF BIRDS

Holy smoke! They've caught us!

Well, look who's here! It's Mr Pusey!

How are you, sir? And what brought you all this way?

We didn't expect to find you here, sir.

Oh, yer cargo's safe. There's not a scratch on it...

I...I don't think I've met this gentleman.

-Is it Mr Marshall himself by any chance?

-That's right. And that's my cargo on this...hulk.

She's a fine puffer.

-Are you serious!?

-A lick of paint...

-You were taking it out to SEA !?

-We'll be in Kiltarra...

-Not with my cargo!

-I don't rightly understand...

-I won't say anything about your misrepresentation of fact...

-But...

-..when you showed Pusey the wrong boat...

-Wrong boat?

I don't even want my £50 back.

-You're gonna turn this tub around...

-But...

-..go back to Ardrishaig and unload my cargo.

-Mr Pusey will see you do it.

-Me, sir...?

-Yes, you sir!

We can do the job. There's no sense in you going to additional expense.

Don't talk to me about expense!

-Look, if he hasn't got you in Ardrishaig by 5 o'clock, call the police. Right?

-Yes, sir.

Make sure the stuff gets on the right boat. I'll expect you in London tomorrow.

Are we ready to proceed?

-I said, are we ready to proceed?

-Not yet.

-Why not?

-We're waitin' for the Mate and the boy.

-Where are they?

< GUNSHOT

They're poaching!

Aye. That's breaking the law!

They'll not get away this time. Go fetch the constable.

You look over here. I'll take this side.

HAMISH...

I know you're in there! Come out! >

< SQUAWK

-Mr Pusey! What're YOU doin' here!?

-Come back to the boat at once!

-Ssh!

-They're after us.

-I said...

-Sshh!

-Shh!

-Take your hands...

-It's the Laird!

-The w-what...?

-It could mean jail.

-J-jai...!

I'll not be party to any illegal...

Get down!

This is ridic...

THUMP !

< Come out!

< You can't escape!

COME OUT !

Sir Charles! Where are you, sir?

Here!

(When he passes the ditch, run!)

-(Where's my...

-Take this. Don't drop it.)

If they find it we're sunk.

There they are! After them!

This has nothing to do with ME !

What were you doing!? Don't point that! It'll go off...!

I can explain... You were poaching! No, I...

I can't swim ! >

GURGLING >

Arrest that fellow! Arrest tha...

Here he is!

LAUGHTER AND JOLLITY

-Where's Mr Pusey?

-I don't know.

He shoved the Laird in the Canal !

Good evening. Mr Marshall wanted me to drop by.

Good evening, Mr Frazer. Come in.

-Mr Marshall?

-Yes?

-Is there anything else?

-Call me before train time.

Sit down.

-Now, isn't that a little too much?

-Too much, Mr Marshall ?

You had a laugh at my expense, OK. But why make me out to be a complete fool ?

I didn't mean to be offensive, sir.

I'm in the transport business, and I have a reputation for getting the job done.

My Kiltarra shipment is personal,

but if certain people read your stories it wouldn't do me any good.

Why make a career out of my problems?

Well, Mr Marshall, these old puffers are very popular.

They're not very popular with ME.

But they are held in great...

Well, people have affection for them.

There's something heart-warming about them.

You're an important man in transport and may not be able to see it.

But they've a touch of tradition. The old "live and let live" of human values...

MacTaggart's a scoundrel and that tub is a disgrace!

-Yet you get a kick out of it when he gets away with murder.

-I...

-PHONE

-I like a joke as much as anyone. I can TAKE a joke... Hello?

Sorry to disturb you. I've had a message from Ardrishaig. The puffer hasn't returned.

What...?

WHAT !?

-But...there must be some mistake!

-­ PHONE RINGS

Yes, but, Mr Campbell... Pusey is actually on board! How could they possibly...?

Mr Pusey's on the other line.

Hang on. Pusey's just rung in.

About time! Have they loaded...

What!?

Well, where ARE you?

WHERE !?

All I wanted you to do was...

How could you get arrested for POACHING !!?

Yes, sir, I will.

Yes, thank you. Goodb...

That was Mr Marshall. Now we'll see how long I remain in this...

That will be 3/-, sir.

Why can't I take a room at the inn?

Not till the Sheriff's ready to see you. Sheriff? Oh, the magistrate.

Look here!

I demand to speak to the magistrate!

Who is he? He's the Laird. >

The one you pushed in the Canal.

DICTATING: If he doesn't get his cargo to us by tomorrow afternoon...

Thank you.

..he'll have to make other arrangements.

HE CHUCKLES

He'll be lucky if he finds them! I wish I could see his face.

He wants someone from the Legal Department to fly to Glasgow now.

Whoever goes must be fully briefed on the laws relating to...poaching, and is to wait at the Central Hotel.

Poaching!? Yes. Mrs Marshall, please.

Does she know what he's doing?

No. It's a surprise. He's certainly generous.

Yes, when he has a reason.

When I threatened to walk out on him he doubled my salary.

-Where do you figure they're going?

-It looks like they're putting in to Inverkerran for the night.

-If they thought I thought that, where would they go?

-Strathcathaigh.

If they thought I think they'll go to Strathcathaigh because it looks as if they're going to Inverkerran,

where would they head for then?

I'd guess Penymaddy.

I bet MacTaggart invented the triple bluff. OK, Penymaddy.

-He'll guess it's Inverkerran.

-Will he not go there, then?

No. He'll know we know he's seen us so he'll expect us to make for Strathcathaigh.

So shall I set her for Penymaddy?

No. If it occurs to him that it's occurred to us that he'd expect us to make for Strathcathaigh,

-then he'd make for Penymaddy.

-Well, then Pinwinnoich?

No, we'll make for Inverkerran as we planned. It's the last thing he's likely to think of.

How much?

Well... Ardnamessan to Penymaddy to Strathcathaigh to Inverkerran...

£12, please.

Well, here's FIVE pounds...

and £7 for yourself.

Er, sonny.

Hey, sonny.

Sonny, do you know this puffer, the "Maggie", here?

I just want to ask you a question. Do you know Captain MacTaggart...

You don't belong...!?

How soon can your boat get here?

Oban!? Yes, Mr Campbell, but...

But I'd have to sail with them! I'm not letting these lunatics out of my sight!

Oh, all right, if it saves a day. What?

Oh, just a minute, operator.

Give me a shilling, will you?

It'll BE there!

But it's 30 miles to Oban, in the wrong direction. We could be in Kiltarra in no time.

I can think of 19 reasons for jailing you!

Taking £50 under false pretences! Having Pusey put in jail !

You've cost me enough on taxis to buy a fleet of taxis! I ought TO SUE YOU !!

If I've offended you in any way...

But the REAL reason I'm taking it away from you is because NOBODY gets to make a monkey out of ME !

30 miles to Oban... Och, many things might happen in 30 miles.

The engine...(?)

I've been thinking what may happen to prevent us getting to Oban... such as engine trouble.

I built a better engine than that when I was eight years old!

Mr Marshall, sir.

-Yes?

-I've a feeling there's fog coming on.

-Fog!?

-Aye. May be wise to put in somewhere.

How can you tell...!?

With the time o' the year, the nip in the air and the wind...

Call it the seaman's instinct.

Are you out of your mind, or do you think you've driven me out of mine?!

Fog (!!)

FOGHORN BLOWS

PLOP

-What's he doing that for?

-Radar.

-Radar...?

If it plops, we're OK, but if it rattles...

PLOP

-If it rattles, what!?

-We know we've made a mistake (!)

LOUD FOGHORN

-I want to ask you...

-FOGHORN

I'm taking her into Fiona Bay to beach her.

What makes you so sure you won't get onto some rocks?

It's what you might call a seaman's instinct.

-Hey! Why didn't you wake me!?

-We...

-Never mind. Show me where we are.

Well, we're just there, sir.

-Where's the nearest phone?

-Well, you could walk back to Inverkerran.

-But you'd be quicker to go to Loch Mora...just there.

-But that's ten miles!

-Yes.

Right, let's go.

-Let's go!

-Were you wanting me to go with you...?

I'm not letting you drift away!

The tide won't be in for hours.

Come on, anyway! The exercise will do you good.

COME ON !

Well, Alastair?

Well, well, how are you?

Long distance.

On the beach!? I'm afraid I can't keep Anderson's boat another day.

Loch Mora you're in luck. We've a cattle boat calling there tomorrow to pick up some beasts.

There's an old abandoned pier there.

What?

"Abandoned"!? It's debauched!

It's wonderful to think of auld Davie reaching 100.

-There's a few would like to get over to Bellabegwinnie for the party.

-Hm?

-Will ye be going yerself?

I canna be sure.

It'll be on the pier at 3 o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Thank you. Bye.

All right, let's go.

Would you not care to put up here for the night? We could bring the puffer along in the morning...

Come on!

Right away.

It's been a grand evening.

The exercise HAS done me good.

CREAKING LIMBS

-Good morning, sir.

-Where are we?

-It's a fine day.

-Where ARE we!?

Where ARE we on this thing!?

There. That's Ben Chareagach there and that's Ben Na Croise.

We'll be in Loch Mora under the hour, sir.

-Good morning, sir.

-Morning.

-Will ye be having some breakfast?

-No, I'll wait till we get to, em...

-There's plenty more.

-No, thanks. I couldn't. That's the biggest meal I've eaten in years.

-More tea?

All right, just a little.

Thanks.

Don't they ever call you anything but "the Wee Boy"?

-My name's Douggie.

-Well, Douggie, you can certainly cook ham and eggs.

-Why won't you let the Captain take the cargo?

-Because he caused me great trouble and expense.

But why not let him take the cargo?

He made a... He double-crossed me. He disobeyed all my instructions. He behaved very badly.

But why won't you let him take the cargo?

I could use a few people like you! You ought to come and work for me!

I wouldna want to leave the Captain. He's the best skipper in the trade.

There's no' many skippers like Captain MacTaggart.

You're so right (!)

Was the Captain REALLY born on this boat?

-Yes, sir.

-How'd it happen?

Well, sir, the "Maggie" was just launched.

The Captain's grandad was skipper, his dad was the mate.

The Captain's mother needed a doctor so they were taking her across to Portree.

There was a storm, and the Captain was born here on the "Maggie".

Why don't you let him take the cargo?

CACKLING OF GEESE

VERY LOUD CACKLING

ONLY THE GEESE CAN BE HEARD

THE MAGGIE CREAKS

-Captain, sir.

-Aye?

-If the tide comes in, will she no' catch under the pier?

-Hamish, slack her off a bit...

-Wait, sir.

-If the tide came in, would there no be...

-C-R-E-A-K !

(..an accident?)

C-R-E-E-A-A-K !

Good lad.

Ye'll be a skipper one day.

C-R-E-E-A-A-K

Tell Mrs Marshall I'll be home tomorrow definitely. Thank you. Goodbye.

C-R-E-E-E-A-A-A-K !

I'll buy the drinks.

­ THEY ALL GIGGLE

All right, what's so funny!?

CREAK

CR-E-AK

LOWING OF CATTLE

CREAKING IS DROWNED BY THE LOWING

(Creak)

Creak

CREAK

CR-E-A-AK

C-R-E-E-A-A-K !

C-R-R-R-R-U-N-C-H !

HEY !

HEY ! HEY !!

Hey...! Quick!

-Move your boat!

-I must finish this!

-It's breaking up the pier! Look!

The boat...! The pier...!

Come on, you! Move the boat OUT !

Get in there! DO something!

-There's some trouble here...

-Get the boat OUT ! MOVE IT !

-C-R-E-E-E-E-A-A-A-A-K !

-Get busy! Out! Out!

Out!

Move the boat out! Do something!!

-Would it not be better...

-MOVE IT !

MOVE !

-Mr Marshall...

-Don't argue with me! Move it out! OUT !

MOVE IT OUT !!

OUT !

No...! NO ! BACK ! BACK !!

HORRENDOUS CREAKING AND RENDING

Stop the engines! Bring it back!

-What's he say?

-To bring her back!

-What!?

-He says to back her up!

How can I back her up when the pier...

Back! You're wrecking the pier!

C-R-R-R-R-R-R-U-U-N-N-C-C-H !!

NO...!!

UTTER SILENCE FALLS

CATTLE BELLOWING

Och well, they were going to dismantle it anyway.

Look at that!

Sir.

Sir? Are you Mr Marshall ?

I'm no longer absolutely sure.

There's nothing we can do for you.

-We can't get your cargo out here and we draw too much to enter the wharf.

-I know...

There's nothing can get at it except...er...

..a puffer.

I've every sympathy for your predicament,

but it's not in our interests to take the job unless we're going to Kiltarra.

And, without meaning any offence, it would simplify matters if you could give us the rest of our fee...

..in advance.

-John, set them up again.

-Aye.

He's talking to somebody in London.

What a man for the telephoning! It's the American way everything in a rush.

But he's not a man at peace with himself.

Anything wrong, Mr Marshall ?

-You'll be amused to hear Mr Pusey is out of jail.

-Oh, that's good...

And Mrs Marshall has found out what I was doing.

It's the LAST thing I wanted...

-I wanted a shave, and I wondered if you could...

-GRUNT >

Dadadada! Piggy!

< CACKLE

They were wanting a lift, sir. Thigasoa, Callum. Mr MacDougall, Mr Marshall.

-Oh... Why are we sailing south?

-We'll get coal at Bellabegwinnie.

-But...

-Mr Roger MacDougall.

-Isn't that out of our way?

-A bit.

Mrs MacDougall, Mr Marshall.

-Mr Angus MacDougall.

-How do you do?

Mrs MacDougall...

-I've a call to make, and I'd like to buy a change of clothes. Have we time for that?

-Aye, I think so, sir.

Lydia, how can you say it's a silly idea when you haven't even seen the place?

I promise you you'll love it. It's beautiful.

We can be there most of the summer.

What?

No, we can't talk about it like this on the phone.

Darling, PLEASE fly out to Kiltarra. I'll be there tomorrow and we can sit down and discuss it.

Hello...? Hello!? Operator.

Operator, we've been cut off! Operator!

'Your party's no longer there.'

Thank you...

-I'll just wrap these up for you.

-How much do I owe you?

-11/3d.

-Where are the others?

-In the village, sir.

-Well, aren't we ready to go?

-Have they taken on the coal ?

-No...

Is Peter MacTaggart there, or up at the party?

LAUGHTER

MacTaggart...

-I was just coming to find you... They can't let us have the coal till tomorrow...

-Sit down.

I know you came here for a party, but I just want to ask you one thing...

-It's old Davie MacDougall, sir. He sailed...

-..with your father.

I just want to ask one thing...

-Not my father, sir, my grandfather.

-I STILL want to ask you one thing.

-Doesn't this job mean anything to you?

-It means a great deal, sir. I'm very grateful to you for...

-Then don't you think you should fulfil your contract?

-Contract...?

-To take me and my cargo to Kiltarra.

-But we ARE taking you, sir.

It's only one day's sailing...

Don't you realise I can stop payment on the cheque I gave you!?

Oh, you couldn't do that.

If you don't get under way right now...

You couldn't refuse to pay us...

Why NOT !?

Because you're an honourable man.

I recognised you as an honourable man the first time I saw you. Och, we'll get you there.

And I've to tell you you've been invited...

Sheila, the Bard's makin' a speech!

Tha do chairdean an so an nochd a dol a chur mo urram ort air caraide air Davie MacDougall.

< GOOD OLD DAVIE !

Tha thu direach ciad bliadhna an diugh.

Rugadh tu mar am 1853.

Thuar an's tha chaidean an telegrams agus cables

Peggy ann am San Francisco, Sheila ann am New York...

Mr Marshall, will ye no' join us?

It's Mr Marshall !

Mr Marshall, come away in. Ye'll be made very welcome.

It's auld Davie's birthday. Ye must join us.

Come in! Anna, give him a piece o' cake.

A glass for Mr Marshall.

He's 100 years old today. Come on...

Dai, o Agad Maighster Marshall duin nasail mor a America

tha sinne deanadh obair dha duine gasda.

Shake hands, sir.

Congratulations, sir...er...

Tell him that where I come from we say that the first 100 years are the hardest.

Thubhair e gum bheil iad ag'radh ann America gum bheil a chead ceud bliadhna na's miosa.

Na's miosa n'an darna ceud.

HE LAUGHS

Mr Marshall's all right, Davie boy. Slainte vha!

DANCE MUSIC AND CHEERING

Why spend the whole evening with me when all those young fellows...

Oh, I can always dance with them.

It's exciting to meet a stranger. Not many come to Bellabegwinnie.

-And it'll do the two of them good.

-They've watched you every minute.

Who?

The one in the window is Donald MacDougall, a fisherman, and Ian McCullough owns the store.

The question is, who should I marry.

It's very difficult when you're only 19 to make such a decision. It would be easier if I were older.

-I would know so much more... I mean about men.

-Well, how are you going to choose?

Everyone says it should be Ian, because he owns the store and is planning to buy another on Colonsay.

-People say that he will be a great man one day.

-And Donald MacDougall ?

He...

He's just a fisherman who sails with his brothers

when they're not drinking or fighting or running after girls.

He hasn't much money...

He's not so handsome as Ian... Everyone agrees to that.

-It doesn't seem a difficult choice.

-You mean I should marry Ian?

Well, if he really wants to make something of himself.

You want a man you know can take care of you.

Yes...

It would be exciting to be married to a man who will do big things; who is going far in the world.

It would be exciting to be taken to places,

to be given fine clothes and expensive presents.

Yes, I would like all those things.

But I...

-I think it'll be the OTHER one I'll be taking.

-Why...?

Oh, it's simply that even though he's away with his brothers so much,

he'll have more TIME for me.

He'll not be so interested in what he's doing or where he's going,

because he'll just be fishing.

And when he comes home from the fishing, there'll just be me.

And when we're very old...

we'll have only what we've been able to make together for ourselves.

And I think, perhaps, that that is all we'll need.

Good morning, Mr Marshall, sir. I thought you might like some tea.

W-where are we...?

Where are we?

We're still in Bellabegwinnie, sir.

Bellabegwinnie...

One o'clock. My watch must have stopped...

One o'clock! Why aren't we on our way!? Where is everybody!?

-I think they're in the village.

-They are!?

Let's get outta here!

-MacTaggart.

-Oh, good morning, Mr Marshall.

-Will you not join us? A wee droppie will...

-No, let's get going.

-Oh, ye'll have just one, sir.

-The hair o' the dog that bit ye....

-MacTaggart, I've got problems.

My wife is waiting for me in Kiltarra, so let's get going!

I...I'm afraid we canna' go just at the minute, sir.

You see, Hamish is missing ever since last night. I'm very angry with him...

-Let's leave him!

-Well, you see...

What with Hamish missing, I thought you wouldn't mind

I told Mr MacGregor he could visit his cousins...

If you're not on that boat in one minute and under way I'll RUIN you!

-I understand how you feel, but if...

-You old fool! You're drunk already!

Mr Marshall...!

-I want to make a telephone call.

-Where to, sir?

-Let me think...

Central Hotel, Glasgow Mr Pusey.

MacTaggart, you asked for it! I've bought your rotten hulk!

I've bought it. It belongs to me!

-You've bought the "Maggie"...?

-Yes.

-But what will you do with a puffer?

I'm taking my cargo to Kiltarra! And I'll have no trouble getting a crew!

You can come or stay as you like, but as soon as I get to Kiltarra I'm selling that thing...for junk!

Mr Marshall, sir... Ye canna do it...!

I'm sorry, Douggie, but I'm tired of all this.

I don't care what you think, the man's nothing but a crook.

-NO !

-He's a petty thief.

-He's NO'!

-He's a liar.

He's lied and lied. He's pulled his last trick on...

You'd better go on board. I think I've killed him.

Douggie...!

Could I speak to Mr Marshall ? He told me to phone him as soon as...

He's WHAT !?

They say he's not available just now.

But it's urgent...!

Well, will you write this down?

I have contacted Miss MacTaggart...

..and she refuses to sell... in any circumstances.

-How is he, doctor?

-No need to worry. But he must rest. I've given him a strong sedative.

DOCTOR: He won't wake till the morning.

Skipper!

She wouldna' sell...!

With any luck, we'll have him in Kiltarra by the time he wakes. Best get under way.

Come on, Douggie.

Well, how are you now, Mr Marshall ?

That was a nasty accident you had. It was the latch on the...

Is the Wee Boy, Douggie, on board?

Tell him I'd like to see him.

'He wants to see Douggie.'

No! I won't see him.

It's all right, laddie. You'd better go.

You might have killed me, Douggie.

You might have killed me!

-Why?

-You were taking the "Maggie" away from the Captain.

-I'd every right to buy...

-You did NOT !

-Anyway, the Captain's sister wouldna' sell to you.

-Why not!?

You wouldna' understand.

-How soon do we get in?

-An hour maybe.

Ye didna' care what happened to the Captain, an old man...!

-He didn't care about me!

-He brought you here!

-After 7 days!

-You were going to take his ship!!

-SUBDUED:

-I'm sorry for what happened.

-You are?

-Aye, but I'd do it again.

Maybe the Captain WAS a bit slow getting yer cargo to Kiltarra,

and ye may no' think much of his boat...

Maybe he's NO' the best skipper in the trade, like I said...

But that's no reason to do what you did!

-What's the matter with it!?

-I told you we'd never get there!

-This contraption's tied wi' wire!

-I told you, if it gets hot...

-What do you mean, "if it gets hot"!? It's ALWAYS hot!

-Listen to me...

-We're in dangerous waters and the sooner we get outside the better!

-Holy smoke! The piston!

-Stop bletherin' and...

-We're sunk!! Ye may as well abandon ship NOW !

Don't be daft! I'll NOT abandon her!

Fights and arguments! >

'I'm no' going down wi' the ship! He can drown himself if he likes!'

-What's wrong?

-No cause for alarm.

'The sooner I see it at the bottom of the sea, the better!'

-What is it?

-The connecting rod.

-Can you fix it?

-We havna' the tools.

-Let me have a look. Go ahead.

I tell you we're finished! >

< We havnae even a pair o' pliers! She's goin' to the bottom o' the sea!

'I've been at him for years! He never listens to me!'

He wouldnae spend a penny! The boiler hasnae been cleaned in nearly a year!

-The valves...

-The wedge!

-The wedge, aye.

He never gives me any waste or paraffin! And look at the fire bars!

I've got no soap or soda! Not even a decent chisel !

-Hamish says...

-The wedge!

-Even the mooring ropes are gone!

The bogey funnel smokes!

The spanners don't... She'll break!!

Y-y-ye'll never do it! Y-y-ye'll tear the engine apart!!

(Ye'll never do it...!)

Give me a monkey wrench! Get ready to turn on the steam. Go ahead!

That's right, turn on the steam (!)

CLATTER OF MACHINERY

C-R-R-R-A-S-H !

-Skipper...!?

-Aye.

Hamish, see if she's making any water forward.

Robbie, is she showing anything in the engine-room?

-She's solid!

-What'll you do!?

-There's nothing yet..

Douggie, help with the lifeboat. The tide turns within the hour!

She's dry enough, Skipper.

Then give a hand with the lifeboat.

-Can't you get her off with the engine? I've fixed it.

-Not when she's 2 feet up on a rock!

You mean you're going to abandon ship!?

Your cargo'll be safe enough, sir. You can arrange for another boat to come alongside and tranship.

There's plenty of craft about.

But won't the tide set her down harder on the rocks?

It'll be falling away and there'll be no damage to your cargo.

-You go too, Douggie.

-No, I...

Wait for me!

But what about the boat?

Och, it'll break her back...

We got within 5 miles of Kiltarra; not bad for an old puffer...

..What if we jettison the cargo?

Sir!?

-What if we threw it overboard?

-Ye cannae...

-Answer the question.

If the wind held, the tide may not go away. We might have a chance...

But ye cannae be serious! It'll cost ye more than the boat's worth!

Throw the stuff overboard.

Don't worry, it was the only thing left that could happen.

..Skipper...

There's just one thing, sir.

With one thing and another, we never got round to insuring the cargo.

I want you to understand something. If you laugh at me for this, I'll kill you with my bare hands.

Throw it over.

I don't understand...!

The cargo!!

Mr Marshall...? Where's Mr Marshall?

-Mr Marshall...

-Is my wife here?

-Yes, she's up at the house.

-This is really something! What happened?

-Don't ask me. I couldn't tell you!

Ahem...

T-there is just one small problem; if you could give us your opinion.

-Apart from the expression of our appreciation...

-Forget it.

As there was some misunderstanding about whether we should have taken the cargo in the first place,

and as we took longer than planned in getting to Kiltarra,

and as we didn't insure the cargo,

-and as the cargo is at the bottom of the sea...

-Well ?

We was wondering, sir... if perhaps you might feel...

-that it would be right if we... offered you...your money back...

-In the 7 days I've been with you,

that's the first sensible thing you've said.

If ye're no' payin' to fix her ye might as well have let her sink!

Oh, thank you...

Thank you... If ye ever want another job done...

FOND FAREWELLS

Guid luck.

GAELIC SONG: "FHIR A' BATA"

Have you ever heard of a puffer called...the "Calvin B. Marshall"?

-Are ye blamin' me for gettin' stuck on the rocks!?

-I make no accusations.

Accusations!? You!? You're not even fit to be the skipper of the Govan ferry!

Mr MacGregor, I'm warning you...