George of the Jungle

'Deep in the heart of Africa

'is a place no man has ever entered.

'A place that belongs to the lion,

'the elephant and the ape.

'A place known as the Bukuvu.

'Travellers flying overhead can only glimpse at its many marvels.

'Its sparkling rivers,

'its lush veldts, its billowy cloud formations,

'and...

'its hidden mountains.

'Never fear, my friends.

'All was not lost.

'Scraped and boo-booed,

'they searched high and low.

'But they never recovered

'their most precious cargo.'

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# Strong as he can be

Aaaaaaaaaaaaeigh!

# Watch out for that tree!

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# Lives a life that's free

Aaaaaaaaaaaaeigh!

# Watch out for that tree!

# When he gets in a scrape He makes his escape

# With help from his friend An ape named Ape

# His elephant, Shep Can fetch a log

# He's man's best friend He's George's dog

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# Strong as he can be

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiegh!

# Watch out for that tree!

# Hear him holler, swing and sing

# All the animals come To the Jungle King

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# So grab a vine and swing in time

# If you smack a tree Just pay no mind

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# Strong as he can be

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaiegh!

# Watch out for that tree!

# Watch out for that...

# George! George of the Jungle! Watch out for that tree! #

'25 years later, the bouncing baby boy

'has grown into a swinging Jungle King.

'He is swift. He is strong.

'He is sure. He is smart.

'He is unconscious.'

'Meanwhile, 43 vines away,

'his kingdom was threatened by a terrifying intruder.'

Hi, everybody. Me again.

Third day in Mbwebwe. Look at this incredible...

Banyan tree.

Banyan tree. And look what's in it.

Could you die?

And over here...

is the outhouse, which you don't want to see.

Betsy, thank you for those moist towelettes.

They've been a lifesaver.

And these are the wonderful porters. Wave, guys.

And this is our guide, Mr Kwame. Without him, we would be lost.

Hi.

This is great.

And this is... Lyle (?!)

Hello, Bujumburans.

What are you doing here?

What a way to greet your fiance.

Aren't you happy to see me?

Yeah, of course I am.

The jungle loves you. You're beautiful.

-How did you find me?

-I hired the best trackers around.

Oh, I'm chafing, Max.

Yeah, I'm chafing big time.

Didn't I tell you not to wear black leather in the jungle?

Didn't I tell you?

Cotton, I said.

Cotton breathes.

Take my things to the lady's tent. Shake a leg.

'Later that night, Lyle Van de Groot lost no time

'in making arrangements to whisk his wayward fiancee back home.'

Nairobi Hilton. They can airlift us there in two hours.

Pillows, OK?

Wait a second. I'm losing you. Bad reception here.

OK, got you back. No, I'm losing you.

My batteries are dead. No! Doody!

I don't want to go, anyway, Lyle.

We're going to find the big apes. Don't you want to see them?

Only if they can shake a good gin Martini without bruising it.

Ho!

Me and Thor will be happy to help you and the lady up the mountain.

With Mr Kwame leading the way, of course.

If you don't mind me saying so,

the apes are supposed to be a fascinating sight.

Especially that White Ape.

White Ape? What's that?

Ask Mr Kwame.

I bet he can tell you.

It is only a native legend.

Tell us.

The people say he's over seven feet tall,

with the strength of a lion.

When the moon is full and the air is sweet,

he wanders alone through the jungle, piercing the silence

with his mournful call.

Now, some say he is thirsty for blood.

Others say he is calling for the mate that he longs for...

but will never find.

By day,

he rules the Bukuvu from the top of the mountain.

But by night...

He and Bigfoot sell candy at the Bukuvu Cineplex.

Now playing on all 14 screens, Planet Of The Apes.

Bigfoot? That would be worth more than a white...

Ursula, what are we doing here?

Lyle, I came all this way...

OK, OK. The things I do for you.

Looks like we're on, fellows.

'As the sun rose over Ape Mountain,

'its agitated inhabitants sent a message to George by bongo-gram,

'warning him of intruders.'

Lyle, listen.

-What was that?

-Could be the mating call of the White Ape(!)

White Ape. Sounds like a drink.

Bartender, two Black Russians and a White Ape.

'A drink the venal Van de Groot would be begging to imbibe

'if he only knew how near the White Ape was at that moment,

'flying through the foliage, surveying the scenery,

'cruising in for a closer look, and swinging on with effortless ease.

'And so, onward and upward,

'the trekkers trudged on feverish footsies over perilous paths.

'When they finally beheld Ape Mountain, they reacted with awe.'

ALL: Awwww!

'I said, "Awe." A-W-E.'

-ALL: Ooooh!

-'That's better.'

Single file on the bridge.

Step cautiously. It is full of rotten planks.

One false move, you could fall.

Then you would have a very long time

to wave goodbye.

I was on a bridge like this in Maui. It was steady as a rock. See?

Stop that! Stop that! What...?!

'Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story.'

-SPLASH!

-'They just get big boo-boos.

'I told you.'

They shouldn't let inexperienced guides on these tracks.

Did you see the look he just gave me?

Probably saying I'm the biggest jerk he's ever seen.

Thinking of something evil to do to me.

If they turn on us, we'll never get home. I must make peace.

I'm going in.

Gentlemen... Cigar? Cigarette?

OK... Gifts from America.

I give you a cigar, you give me your land.

All right, our first contact has been made.

Ready?

There you go, my man.

Do you like magic fire? Do you?

Watch this.

There.

Magic picture.

Yet another gift from America.

Here you go.

SPEAKS IN SWAHILI

35 millimetre.

Translation, please.

He says he likes your magic pictures,

but prefers the resolution of the Leica 35 millimetre.

He says that your lens is dirty, but he can clean it for you.

Well, tell him to clean this while he's at it.

Come on, let's go.

We'll find you an ape so we can get the heck out of here.

We can't go into the jungle alone. We could get lost out here.

I'll get you what you want.

You want a double decaf latte with mocha sprinkles, you will get it.

You want a White Ape, I'll get you a White Ape.

Here, monkey, monkey, monkey!

Here, gorilla, gorilla!

Ssh!

-Don't move.

-You mean, I actually found one?

GROWLING

GROWL FADES

God, that scared me.

Scared me, too.

SHE SCREAMS

I'll get help. You wait here.

Oh, no...

JUNGLE CALL

BELL DINGS

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

When Lion brush last?

Don't tickle!

HE GIGGLES

JUNGLE CALL

Rubber tree. Always good for clothesline. Upsy, kitty!

George not even trying hard.

Flying piledriver! Having some fun now!

Bad kitty!

-That close one, huh?

-Watch out for that tree!

Oops.

HE SNIFFS

Funny-looking fella.

White Ape.

Ursula! Ursula! Oh!

Ursula, I found your scrunchie!

SNARLING

Go away!

It was horrible.

It was...a 400-pound...

White Ape-Man.

The White Ape...

has my girlfriend!

I held him off as long as I could. Blood everywhere.

The big ape...got my girlfriend.

He weighs 400 pounds.

The White Ape got my girlfriend!

The White Ape got... Help, help!

Man needs help!

PHRRRRRRT

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!

'After a night of feverish fantasies,

'the perfectly-permed heiress, Ursula Stanhope,

'awoke to the melodious music of the Bukuvu birdlife.

'She ventured forth in search of that defender of the innocent,

'protector of the weak,

'and all-around good guy,

'George of the Jungle.

'But that's not who she saw first.'

Aaaaaaaeigh!

Whaaaat?!

Get away! Get away! Get away!

JUNGLE CALL

Hello.

Feeling better, fella?

OK.

It's that dream.

I'm still having that psycho dream. Hello.

SHE SCREAMS

Ape friend. Make breakfast.

What does it want?

IT wants its Physician's Desk Reference,

if you don't mind.

Unless you'd rather die of dengue fever, of course.

That is very funny.

Ha, ha, ha(!)

I thought I heard the monkey talk.

That is totally understandable, right?

Why wouldn't an ape read textbooks,

and why wouldn't I find myself in a tree-house with room service

and a Tarzan wannabe wearing a...?

What do you call that?

Butt flap.

Right.

Bit of a shock, I suppose.

Yes.

Fever.

Cold compress. Dab her lightly, George.

Talking monkey(!)

That's the ticket.

Good.

There's something funny about this fella.

She's not a fellow, George.

She's a woman - the female of your species.

You mean, Ape and George not brothers?

Well, in a sense, we are related.

We're both members of the primate family.

Primate family. Brothers.

I suppose one might claim that...

Mommy, make that monkey stop talking.

Perhaps I should refrain from speaking around her,

as it seems to upset her.

What your name?

Ursula.

Ursula Stanhope.

Who are you?

George.

George Primate.

And that brother Ape.

-Ape Primate.

-Ah..oh, um...

HE GROWLS

I'm going to pass out again now.

Bye.

That sissy White Ape. I would have choked the life out of him.

He had two of his lion buddies jump me from behind.

So in this version there are two lions?

A minute ago, there was only one.

Hey, the important thing, Kwame,

is that I was outnumbered.

Absolutely.

Ursula!

Hi.

When I woke up this morning, I remembered about that lion.

I know you saved me yesterday.

And I just wanted to say thank you.

Now that I'm better, I realise the others must think I'm cat food.

I don't want my fiance... this guy I was with to worry.

I should probably go and look for them.

I was wondering if you could help me.

Ursula want to go already?

OK, George help. Get trusty doggy.

You have a dog? That's great.

Doggy will help. George call Shep.

Shep! Here, boy!

Come on! Here, boy!

Shep!

THUMPING

Here come Shep.

Come on, Shep! Come on, boy!

Attaboy! Want to play?

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Good boy!

Come on!

Good boy, Shep! Come on!

Whoa!

Stop, stop, stop! Sit. Sit.

Good boy!

Good obedience training.

George trained from pup.

-That's your dog?

-This Shep, George's big, grey pooch.

Good boy, Shep! Good boy!

Good boy.

Attaboy. Oh, want to shake?

Good doggy.

Shep...

Shake?

George... George!

-See? Shep shake.

-George!

He's a big poochie, all right.

Does he fetch?

Here, boy! Come on, boy!

Where stick? Where stick?

Here, boy! Fetch!

Come on, boy! Run!

Run, boy! Attaboy! Good boy!

Go on, boy! Go get it!

Where did he go?

No, not in the roses!

'And so, with the help of the Jungle King's big, grey,

'peanut-loving pooch, George and Ursula set out

'on a desperate search for her fiance...

'Er, that guy she was with.'

Lyle!

'While he desperately searched for her.'

Ursula!

'But by the end of the afternoon, her desperation had dimmed.'

That was fantastic!

'She had given up all hope of everything,

'except enjoying the Jungle King's company from her precarious perch.'

-Where are we going now?

-Find Tookie-Tookie bird, for news.

Tookie-Tookie bird. I love that.

'Later, they rested. The tired tusker teethed on a...

'Wait a second. The dog bone is too much. Lose it.

'That's better.

'Bongo-gram.

'What could it mean?'

TOUCAN SQUAWKS

He say Little Monkey in trouble.

George investigate.

MONKEY WHIMPERS

What happened?

Where are the monkeys?

Where? There?

How many? That many?

Lots?

Then what happened?

Tell George more.

No.

Little Monkey say other monkeys call Little Monkey "runt".

Not let Little Monkey play games.

Poor thing.

Hi, Monkey.

You OK?

Don't cry.

Little Monkey like Ursula.

MONKEY-TALK

What did you tell him?

Just watch.

IMITATES JUNGLE CALL

'Meanwhile, back at a really big footprint in the mud...'

Let me through! What's happening?

This footprint does not belong to any of my men.

See? There's your proof.

The White Ape does exist.

We have to track down the girl, and the ape's in the bag.

No, seriously. I don't know if I want to do this again.

Ursula need to relax when it come to vine-swinging. For George?

Swing, swing, swing. Come on.

Want to hear vine-swinging secret?

Fine. Tell me all your secrets.

George's secrets - the shortest book ever written.

Wrap it round your sock for special George of Jungle foot-lock.

-Ready to try again?

-No...

SHE SQUEALS

Like this!

# He flies through the air with the greatest of ease

# Our daring young man on the flying trapeze... #

No hands!

# His movement so graceful All girls he could please

# And he's happiest swinging away

# He flies through the air with the greatest of ease... #

George, watch out for that...

tree.

Ladies and gentlemen, the King of the Jungle(!)

Where the devil is my egg-timer?

Tookie?

I'm fed up with this felonious fowl stealing everything in the kitchen.

Miserable creature.

George, what on earth are you doing?

George feel like looking a little special today.

Possibly there is a stirring of special feelings within you?

George having stirring of special feelings right now.

I see.

Good thing she same species, huh?

Yes.

Ape...

Tell George how to make Ursula George's mate.

Please.

Brother.

Command her attention

by bulging out your cheeks and pursing your lips.

Show George.

All right. Just like this.

Even puffier.

Display interest by drawing back your upper lip,

jutting your jaw forward and exposing your teeth.

Now, throw a handful of leaves in the air,

then leap about and hoot in a dominant fashion.

HE HOOTS

Like this, Ape?

Good. She won't be able to resist that.

Ursula!

Gosh, this trail's really rough.

"Ursula! Ursula!"

-Hey, come back here.

-Are they abandoning us?

They're threatening.

I have a knack for getting the most out of my employees.

Do you mind if I address the porters?

They only speak Swahili.

Well, I just happen to have a Swahili phrase-book.

Be my guest.

I think our troubles are over.

Tell 'em I'll pay 50 zamolees a man

if they'll help me capture the White Ape alive.

Alive? After he...?

He pulled Ursula's scrunchie off. We know that much.

50 zamolees a man. What do you say?

They only speak Swahili.

100 zamolees a man and you've got a deal.

-Hey, wait a second...

-Done.

'Meanwhile, at a very big and expensive waterfall set,

'Ursula was amazed that she was lost in the wilderness.'

Here I am, lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.

I should be terrified that no-one will ever find me, but I'm not.

Thank you.

For what?

For this adventure.

It's what I've always wanted.

King of Jungle only here to help.

George?

Are you OK? Your face is swelling up like...

Something in my teeth?

HE HOOTS

OK.

Listen, um...

I'm going to step outside for a little air.

OK?

Are you sure you threw the leaves?

George threw leaves.

Well, cheer up, old boy.

I spent all day poring through every book in the library,

and finally I found this.

It's positively packed full of human courtship rituals.

Listen.

"What's a nice girl like you

"doing in a plane like this?"

Oops.

HE GRUNTS

(Go for it.)

-Hi.

-Hi.

What...?

Did you fight a crocodile for this?

Oh, no, George not fight.

Crocodile have toothache.

George pull tooth.

Crocodile give to George after.

Gift.

Good Juju.

-Juju?

-Good luck.

Protection.

I have something like that, too.

Want to see?

It's not worth anything.

I found it in a cereal box

when I was ten years old.

It's my good luck.

My Juju.

Can I...?

I want you to have that.

For George?

That's the nicest present George ever get.

Thank you.

DRUMS BEAT

It dancing time.

Ursula want to dance?

Oh, no, thanks.

I'd be too embarrassed.

What mean "embarrassed"?

That's when you feel stupid in front of other people.

You know, like they're judging you?

-You've never felt that?

-No.

There are no other people.

Good point.

George not feel stupid. Sometimes George smash into tree and...

Waaah... Ahh!

Sometimes George fall out of tree-house, but not feel stupid.

Something good always happen after. George just lucky, I guess.

# One day I looked up And there you were... #

No people here to look stupid for.

Just George.

# Like a simple question

# Looking for an answer

# Now I am a whale

# Listening to some inner call

# Swimming blindly to throw myself upon your shore

# What if I don't find you

# When I have landed?

# Would you leave me here to die

# On your shore stranded?

# I think I know why the dog howls at the moon

# I think I know why the dog howls at the moon

# I say DELA!

# DELA! NGIYADELA!

# When I'm with you

# DELA!

# SONDELA MAMA SONDELA

# I burn for you

# I've been waiting for you all my life

# Hoping for a miracle

# I've been waiting day and night Day and night

# I've been waiting for you all my life

# Waiting for redemption

# Been waiting day and night I burn for you... #

'And so it came to pass

'that George of the Jungle

'attended his first co-ed dance.

'But his rapturous rendezvous with the urban heiress

'was to be short-lived.

'Next morning, Kwame and his men were drawing dangerously close.

'That is, dangerously close to shoving a coconut up Lyle's...

'sleeping bag.'

I've had it! I am the richest, smartest, handsomest guy!

So I get to go first!

Eugh!

There's an elephant around here.

Bad guy falls in poop. Classic element of physical comedy.

Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?

ALL: Ready!

Those were nowhere near properly digested.

In case anybody's wondering, I'm OK.

Have you cleaned my lighter yet?

Come on, come on!

LAUGHING

That was Ursula!

Hear that?

She's alive. Ursula!

Why don't you bring on a brass band while you're at it?

We're got to be stealthy here.

Right?

Stealthy. Right.

Party time.

We'll take it from here.

Get off!

It's him!

Hey, it's a dude.

I told you there weren't no White Ape.

You dragged me up here to look at a guy in a leopardskin bikini!

I could have seen that in Miami.

Wait.

The White Ape is a man?! Let me at him!

Hang on. Could you see if he's dangerous?

Here, boy! Where's my little doggy?

I've got a feeling he's not.

OK, I'll go first.

If he gets aggressive, I'll scare him off.

I thought that was a lighter.

It is, but he doesn't know that.

Ursula? It's me.

Lyle. Your man.

I've come for you. Are you OK?

Ursula!

-What are you doing here?

-Thank God!

Mushy bear, you're safe! I don't believe it!

Oh, I was so afraid

for your safety.

Lyle!

Don't get all smoochy and disgusting.

I remember what you did when that lion came.

What are you talking about? I was fighting the lion the whole time.

You were...just so terrified... you don't remember.

I remember George. I remember him.

George?

Look over there. What do you see?

An elephant.

But what has the elephant got?

Fleas.

Ivory! White gold!

Ursula, I have no idea what you're talking about. Can we just go?

George!

Ursula?

Ready...

Aim...

Run, Shep! Run for your life!

Did that monkey just speak?

That monkey just spoke.

-I knew it!

-He talked.

Shoot it, now!

With the tranquilliser gun, idiot! That ape's worth a fortune.

NO-O-O-O!!

Stop, or I'll shoot!

-No!

-No!

-Geo-o-o-orge!

'Phew! OK, let's settle down and review the important information.

'Lyle is a dufus. George was shot. He can't die because he's the hero.

'The naturally concerned and preternaturally wealthy Ursula

'whisked George off to the country of his birth,

'for the finest medical treatment available.'

I'm going to get you the finest medical treatment available.

'As for those pesky, pernicious and putrid poachers, Max and Thor,

'they awaited their fate in the Bujumbura jail.'

You two, out.

Acquitted?

No. Deported.

'Kwame and his men faced the near impossible task

'of picking out George's assailant

from a line-up of the usual suspects.'

Too short. Too sweaty.

Wait a second!

That's the guy. That's the guy who shot him! I never forget a face.

Me?

SPEAK IN SWAHILI

No, Max. I do not want to listen to any more of your ideas.

You'll like this one.

We steal Georgie-boy's talking ape.

Back up the mountain?

That ape is our ticket out of poaching and into show business.

Think about it. We've got a talking ape.

What do Siegfried and Roy have?

-Sequins?

-Exactly.

Get ready for room service, mate.

We're getting our ape and going to Vegas.

By next weekend, we'll be headlining at the Tropicana.

Nobody is going to stop us.

Right. George of the Jungle must be halfway to Frisco by now.

'Ah, but they were only half correct.

'For at that very moment,

'our handsome hero was all the way to San Francisco.'

Yes, Mother, I'm safe.

You didn't catch dengue fever?

No, Mother, I did not.

-'How's your temperature?'

-Normal.

Colour of your tongue?

Pink.

-What about your hmm-hmm?

-Regular.

How's my darling future son-in-law?

Lyle is...

JUNGLE CALL

He's happy to be home, Mom. Could you hold on one second?

George, please don't call any animals into the car, OK?

Mom?

-MUSIC BLARES

-Hold on.

I'm losing you again. George!

Are you paying any attention?

I know. George...

Hot, hot, hot!

Faster than riding big, grey, peanut-loving poochie, Shep.

Mom, bye. George, watch out...

So, what do you think of my jungle?

This very high tree-house.

Good place to call friends from. Sound carry.

No!

JUNGLE CALL

The neighbours.

Shut up, buddy! Give it a rest!

We're ten storeys up, George.

I don't think the animals can make it up here.

Sure, George know that.

George know that.

You must be tired.

I'll make the couch up for you

to sleep in the living room.

Oh, no, George sleep here in tree-house.

OK. Good night.

Sleep sweet, Ursula.

Sleep sweet, George.

'Ursula's fiance is in prison

'and there's a jungle man sleeping on her balcony.

'She could use a best friend.'

Hi.

-Hi.

-Where is he?

Under the waterf... In the shower.

Not any more.

Oh, bad waterfall.

Water get hot, and then George slip on this strange, yellow rock.

Hi. George of Jungle.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Hold this big book.

Cover the bootie.

Go and get you some clothes. Sorry, Betsy.

I see why they made him King of the Jungle.

Betsy, I am in trouble here, OK?

How can I tell my parents that my fiance's in jail

and I brought home a jungle man?

You are totally stuck on George, huh?

No, I am not.

Can I have him, then?

OK, let's think. Think, think, think.

Think. What am I going to do about tomorrow?

It's your engagement party.

Unless they give day passes out of Bujumbura jail, Lyle won't attend.

Tell them the truth and don't worry. And take George.

He can back up your story, right?

Right. So I'll tell my dad first thing in the morning.

Second thing. First thing, buy jungle man some clothes.

Nice butt flap.

'Being of a conservative mind regarding gender roles,

'Ursula wasted no time in taking George of the Jungle

'to a fine haberdasher.'

And this is Neiman Marcus.

Oh, they have big, shiny cave.

Would you like to sample our new fragrance?

'Later, in the men's department,

'after discovering his long-lost brothers,

'the Jungle King was pleased to find he looked pretty good in Armani.'

Pretty darn good.

Why everyone run around crazy like antelope in mating season?

They're trying to make a living.

It's a different kind of jungle, George. It's dog eat dog.

Dog eat dog... Dog eat dog here?!

-No, that's not what I meant.

-George never bring Shep here.

'Every story has a big coincidence,

'and here's ours.

'Who should see them but Ursula's mother?'

Lyle Van de Groot, please.

-'He's not back from his trip yet.'

-He's not?

'Meanwhile, back on Ape Mountain,

'George's friends were going gaga

'from missing the Jungle King.'

No!

Look at this! It's ruined! Ruined!

Shep!

Come on!

How many times do I have to tell you?

My violin bow

is not a chew toy!

Bad dog!

And you! Out of my sight, you feathered fool!

No! Not on the tree-house!

'Ursula, it's Mother.

'Tell me who that man was I saw you with today.

'And where is Lyle? We must discuss the engagement party.

'I know you're there, Ursula.

'Pick up the phone and tell me why you've been avoiding me.

'Pick up the phone!'

JUNGLE CALL

Well...

I think that was an overreaction.

Stay here while I'm at work. You can watch TV,

and eat, and relax.

And I'll be back as soon as I can. Just stay here.

'Stay here? George is King of the Jungle.

'No four walls can contain him.'

Not true. George have every intention of doing what Ursula say.

'Really? Is that so?'

For a while.

'At that very moment, Betsy and Ursula were on their way

'to break the news about Lyle to her father.'

Surprise!

Ursula... Welcome home, sweetheart.

And happy engagement day.

'The coffee that brings you together.'

Now George understand. George get coffee.

Then Ursula want George.

HE BABBLES

'The low has moved off-shore. High pressure's built a ridge.

'The weather is gorgeous. You ought to be outside!'

-Who? Me?

-'I mean you.'

OK.

'And so, jazzed on Java,

'George of the Jungle made his way into the City by the Bay.

'Quickly taking to tourism,

'the Jungle King enjoyed a drive-through meal.

'He strolled the city streets

'until he found something scintillating.'

Ooh!

'But nothing excited the Jungle King more

'than the sight of the biggest rope bridge he had ever seen.'

Oh, yeah...

Somebody help!

To swing,

or not to swing?

Swing.

'As the King of the Jungle quickly calculated the angle and velocity

'of his next big swing, Ursula felt like jumping off a bridge.'

I feel so guilty.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

First, tell your father what you came here to tell him.

-Hi, Daddy.

-Hi, honey. Look at this.

The most remarkable thing is happening on the Bay Bridge.

'Winds carried him to the Bay Bridge.

'Valerie Devlin is on the scene.'

Thank you, Terilyn.

We do have a breaking story at the Bay Bridge.

A parasailer dangles helplessly 500 feet above the water.

SIREN WAILS

'There's no word on who this lone daredevil is.'

That's George.

'He might be preparing to swing down...'

JUNGLE CALL

Excuse me, sir. I have to get on this boat.

Hey, fella. George of Jungle. Need a vine?

Thanks a lot, man. Get me out of this, huh?

-Thanks, man.

-Oh, don't mention it.

Only here to he...

George!

Ursula!

ALL: Watch out for that...

George! What are you doing? Are you OK?

You just saved that man's life.

George just lucky, I guess.

This coffee stuff really worked good.

'One of the most daring rescues ever recorded live on television.

'This is Valerie Devlin reporting from under the Bay Bridge.'

'They say the City by the Bay is a romantic city.

'It looks as though there's a little romance there.

'We'll be back in a moment.'

'Meanwhile, back in the jungle.'

Five stinking apes. Which one are we taking?

The one who's playing chess.

Checkmate.

Sweet dreams, banana breath!

Tookie... Go find George.

Thor!

Let's get him in the cage while he's still under. Come on.

'As the pesky poachers grunted and groaned,

'pushing and pulling the ponderous primate along,

'the trusty Tookie-Tookie bird was winging to the rescue.

'He made a birdline for San Francisco,

'where George of the Jungle was trying to give the heiress Ursula

'the courage to face her parents

'by helping her discover the Juju within.'

Make jungle call. You'll feel brave.

-No, I can't.

-Big breath.

-No, no, no.

-Please.

I can't do it.

Big, brave Queen of Jungle. Come on, Ursula.

JUNGLE CALL

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiegh!

DOGS BARK

Wow.

Not bad for beginner.

'Emboldened with jungle Juju,

'Ursula went inside to break the news to her parents,

'who took it extremely well.'

Mother, Daddy, I love you both very much.

I have something very important to tell you.

I hope you'll understand. I don't want to marry Lyle any more.

BOTH: We understand, dear.

'Just kidding!'

Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

'The young Miss Stanhope proceeded to spill the beans.

'Very quickly.'

SHE BABBLES

'Until she got to the important part at the end.'

And then Lyle shot him. So Lyle is in jail.

And George is with me.

And I don't want to marry Lyle any more.

I knew it! That swinging man from the bridge!

I saw you smooching on TV.

-We weren't smooching.

-How could you do this?

Don't you realise who's going to be here?

Calm down, Beatrice.

I thought we'd be introducing them to Lyle Van de Groot,

not some wild man from the jungle!

Beatrice, this is her wedding, not yours.

Beatrice, I know you're upset.

So am I. But we can't force her to marry someone against her will.

-Why not?

-Mom, Dad...

I'm ready to apologise to everybody and tell them what happened.

Absolutely not! As far as I'm concerned, you...

You caught one of those viruses. Yes.

One of those jungle viruses

that get nice girls all confused.

If Lyle survives that awful jail,

you'll simply have to kiss and make up.

This evening, we will hold our heads high

and we will carry on!

Now, where is that charming young friend of yours?

-Well, where is he?

-He's around here someplace.

Find him. We haven't got all day.

Oh, Ursula, look! How wonderful!

Look at Richard's exquisite figurines of you and darling Lyle.

JUNGLE CALL

Watch out for that...

Mom, Dad.

This is George.

Hello, Mr and Mrs Ursula.

How do you do?

DOG GROWLS

Oh, it is always such a pleasure to see you, Mr Mayor.

And, you know, it's so nice to get away from City Hall

and be around some normal people.

Well, we are perfectly normal, I assure you.

In an exceptional way, of course.

Of course.

And what about this guy, Lyle?

I'd like to meet the man you deem good enough for your daughter.

Unfortunately, Lyle is busy at the moment,

tending to some legal affairs.

Some pate, Mr Mayor?

You know, I never touch that stuff.

Oh.

-I had a lovely time.

-Would you excuse us?

It's 7.30. Do you know where your jungle man is?

So this is what you were doing in the jungle. Clever girl.

Yeah. Um...he swung me on vines and fed me coconut milk.

-I knew it.

-He's not a meatloaf, is he?

No. I mean...

he's not brainy in a doctor-lawyer-banker way.

But he has something else.

-He has a...

-Sensual intelligence.

Sensual intelligence?

-Wow.

-Oh, my God.

What is it with chicks and horses, huh?

George, how are you this evening?

Pretty sharp threads there, George.

Where are you based?

The jungle.

I hear you. We're in New York also.

You considering a position with Stanhope? Could be fruitful.

This place not so fruitful. Nobody here have big coconuts.

George, I...

Would you mind stepping outside with me? ..Thank you so much.

..for just a moment.

Sure.

Hello, Beatrice.

Hello, Ella.

We haven't been friends for very long,

but I already think I know something about you.

You...

are in love with my daughter.

Old Mrs Ursula not so dumb.

Charming(!)

My concern, however,

is that Ursula seems to reciprocate your feelings,

and that does present a problem to me.

You see,

you and Ursula together

would be unbefitting her social stature. You see?

Let me put it in a way you might understand.

Where you come from,

zebras marry zebras

and leopards marry leopards.

Stripes with stripes, spots with spots.

Well, Ursula is a stripe,

and you are a spot.

One which I intend to have removed

as soon as possible.

So you no want Ursula to love George?

I would rather have my tongue nailed to this table.

That hurt.

Not as much as you will if you screw up Ursula's marriage to Lyle.

When Lyle returns, this wedding will proceed as planned.

If you do anything to upset that...

..I will remove your reason for wearing a loincloth.

Steak tartare, Mrs Stanhope?

No, thank you. I've had enough protein for today.

Have a pleasant evening, Mr Jungle.

Tookie?

Tookie! Tookie!

George so happy to see Tookie.

Ape kidnapped? Ape ape-napped?!

George save Ape.

Ursula.

Well, he went back to the jungle.

Where else would he go? The Hague?

Why would he leave without saying goodbye?

I think he acted rather sensibly. Showed good character.

He realises that he belongs there, you belong here.

It's really all a question of stripes and spots.

What?

Oh, no.

You got to him. What did you say?

I simply said that if he really cared for you,

he'd leave you alone and let you get on with life and marry Lyle.

I am not marrying Lyle, Mother!

-Beatrice, perhaps...

-Arthur!

There's a big difference between marriage and a fling in the jungle.

A fling in the jungle? A fling?

Who says I had a fling in the jungle?

You don't think you can fool your mother?

You've been head over heels for that ape since he came here.

Now, Ursula, that kind of love is fleeting.

You'll get over it.

Did you just say "love"?

No.

-You did.

-Ursula!

-You're right.

-Don't say it.

I love him. I'm outta here.

You can't love him! Arthur, say something!

Be careful out there, honey.

What?!

Goodbye, Daddy. I love you, Mom.

-Thank you.

-Arthur, do something!

Like what? There's no stopping her.

Oh, God!

URSULA!

God, that woman's a pain in the ass.

'Meanwhile, halfway across the world,

'another ass was feeling pain.

'An ape named Ape was caged in a cage,

'hoping to hear the Jungle King's awesome...'

JUNGLE CALL

'Hey, I'm pretty good at that.

'And wondering if he'd ever come.

'But the motion-sick mammal needn't have moaned.

'For that defender of the innocent, protector of the weak,

'George of the Jungle, was closer than he knew.'

Next time, George get bigger box.

Oh, bad luck(!)

Did you hear something?

I heard a noise.

Shut up and push.

Ha ha!

I think I chipped a tooth.

PHRRRRRRRRT!

Oh, Thor!

-You're disgusting!

-It wasn't me.

Not me.

I'm hungry.

Shut up! You've been yakking for two days straight. I'm getting mad.

You should work on your anger.

Have you tried Brankowski's Cage The Rage technique?

Don't let him get to you, Thor.

He's just an ape.

A fine way to talk to your meal ticket. It'll affect my performance.

Give him a banana, Thor. Won't be long now.

That's what you said yesterday!

This trail's taking us nowhere!

The sign at the trailhead said "Short cut to Ape River".

Why would it say that if it wasn't a...?

Wait a minute.

Maybe it's a fake. A decoy trail.

Very good, Max. Actually, the trail is a fake.

It circles Ape Mountain six times

and heads back to the tree-house.

-I knew we was lost!

-Don't listen to him.

He's trying to trick us, lead us off the short cut,

-so we take twice as long.

-We're already taking twice as long!

Don't let a monkey make a monkey out of you.

What?

Duh(!)

Let's go. If he tells us the short cut leads to the tree-house,

then that's exactly where it doesn't lead.

Ape?

Poor ape-napped brother.

-Careful!

-Max, look!

We're back at the tree-house.

Well, I tried, but you fellows are too smart for me(!)

Oh, no!

'"Oh, no" was right. For the...'

Hey, why don't you say something constructive for a change?

'Because I don't like you.'

-You snotty son-of-a...

-'I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

'Having some fun now.'

Thor, were you fighting with the Narrator?

-He started it.

-'Did not.'

-Did, too!

-'Did not.'

-Did!

-'Did not.'

Thor, stop!

I'm not dragging this thing another inch!

-Get back there and work!

-You wretched little weasel!

Don't you call me a weasel!

Let's take care of him.

Why didn't you come sooner?

Why Ape have stars around head?

I taught you everything about Queensberry rules and fighting fair.

Now's a good time to forget it.

Let's finish him off.

I've got rage, Max!

Let it out, Thor. Let it out.

Right, Jungle Boy!

PHRRRRRRRRT!

Aghhh!

Shep, look out!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiegh!

Ursula?

George good teacher.

George! George...

I came all this way to tell you that...

Ursula, talk later. George busy now.

Fella got toucan on can.

I know!

CUCKOO-CUCKOO!

Good show, George! And you, too, Tookie.

Oh, my hero!

Did I just say that?

George! Over here, George!

Sit tight. George be right back.

I say!

Now George can talk.

What Ursula come back to say?

Only that...

I know in my heart...

that...

I really, truly...

Haven't seen the light yet.

-Lyle?

-Lyle?

'Yes, Lyle.

'The venal Van de Groot had escaped from jail

'and joined an obscure cult

'which empowered him with a peculiar piece of parchment.'

What are you doing here?

Surprise, my little cupcake.

I'm now a mail-order minister,

ordained in the Church of Celestial Power and Light, Incorporated.

I'm capable of performing legally binding marriage ceremonies.

Lyle, I'm not marrying you.

Actually, you are. Let's go. Come along, my little African Queen.

Now George really mad!

At ease, Jungle Boy.

Freeze!

Operation completed as ordered, sir.

Thank you,

Gunnar, Gunter, Hans, Jan and Phil.

No hard feelings, stone-belly. The best man won, that's all.

The guy who brought mercenaries won.

OK, honey. I've got a boat waiting to take us to Bujumbura.

George!

Ursula... Don't go that way!

Go that way!

See you later.

Adios. Auf Wiedersehen.

Lyle, let go of me!

Come on, come on.

MONKEY TALK

POUNDING RHYTHM

Bongo-gram! Work every time.

Good work, brother apes.

Listen carefully to George.

BOTH: No!

Stop it! Lyle!

Come on.

Stop it! You're such a jerk!

You know, I forgive you.

I'm willing to give you another chance.

You don't know where you're go...

You see?

I told you I had a boat waiting.

JUNGLE CALL

OK, then.

All righty.

Reverend Lyle,

ready to perform the ceremony.

Do you, Ursula Stanhope, take me, Lyle Van de Groot,

to be your lawful wedded husband?

Get a grip, Lyle!

Lyle...

Yeah?

Lyle!

Oh, God!

Thanks.

This biggest swing in jungle history.

Will hurt very much, but George have to do it.

JUNGLE CALL

What the...?

This gonna hurt.

George, watch out for that tree!

George not feel so good.

Oh, thank God we've made it.

Say "I do", Ursula.

-GRUNT

-That's it. We're married.

Let's have a look at my bride.

NO-O-O-O!!

George...

what I came here to say

was that I love you.

Ursula love George?

So much.

George love Ursula, too.

'And so, George of the Jungle received the first kiss of his life

'that came from neither elephant nor ape.

'And, on the following new moon,

'Ursula Stanhope finally got the simple wedding she had hoped for.

'The heiress and the Jungle King

'joined their hearts for ever

'in wedded bliss.'

The rings!

-The rings...

-The rings?

Tookie?

APPLAUSE

LATIN-STYLE MUSIC PLAYS

Arthur, do something about these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall.

Madam, I knew Jane Goodall,

and you are no Jane Goodall.

# One day I looked up And there you were

# Like a simple question

# Looking for an answer

# Now I am a whale Listening to some inner call

# Swimming blindly To throw myself upon your shore

# I think I know why the dog howls at the moon

# I think I know why the dog howls at the moon

# I say DELA!

# DELA! NGIYADELA!

# When I'm with you

# DELA!

# SONDELA MAMA SONDELA

# I burn for you

# I've been waiting for you all my life

# Hoping for a miracle

# I've been waiting day and night

# Day and night

# I've been waiting for you all my life

# Waiting for redemption

# I've been waiting day and night

# I burn for you... #

I love you.

'And so ends our tale of that defender of the innocent,

'protector of the weak, and all-around good guy,

'George of the Jungle.

'A noble king, his beautiful queen,

'and their heir to the jungle throne.'

George, watch out for that...

'I know what you're thinking.

'How does a baby raised by an ape

'grow up to be King of the Jungle,

'find his queen, and live happily ever after?'

George just lucky, I guess.

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# Strong as he can be

Aaaaaaaaaaaiegh!

# Watch out for that tree!

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# Lives a life that's free... #

-APE:

-Wait a moment! Wait, wait, wait!

Don't you want to know what happened to me?

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

# And now...the end is near

# And so I face

# The final curtain

# My friends, I'll say it clear

# I'll state my case Of which I'm certain

# I've lived...a life that's full

# I've travelled each... and every highway

# And more... Much more than this

# I did it my way

# Yes, there were times I'm sure you knew

# When I bit off More than I could chew

# But through it all When there was doubt

# I ate it up and spat it out

# I faced it all And I stood tall

# And did it my way! #

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# Strong as he can be

Aaaaaaaaaaaaiegh!

# Watch out for that tree!

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# Lives a life that's free

Aaaaaaaaaaaaiegh!

# Watch out for that tree!

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# George! George! George of the Jungle!

# George! George! George of the Jungle! #

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the King of the Jungle.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaiegh!

THUMP