Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

# I'm in a new place with the Same face

# But nothing is familiar to me

# But there's a storm rush Then the winds start

# And it's bringing out the woman in me

# I know that you're out there somewhere

# Waiting on a deeper connection

# Now I'm looking to my left

# Searching on my right

# Cos we could be the greatest adventure

# I'm ready, come and find me

# I'm not gonna hog out the sun on my side

# It's heavy, cos I'm finally

# Open for the woman, I'm ready, ready

# I'm ready

# I'm moving out there

# So, baby, beware

# Cos now it's just a matter of time

# Before our paths cross and the sky falls

# The very moment that I tell you're mine

# I'm ready, come and find me

# I'm not gonna hog out the sun on my side

# It's heavy, cos I'm finally

# Open for the woman, I'm ready, ready

# I'm ready, come and find me

# I'm not gonna hog out the sun on my side

# It's heavy, cos I'm finally

# Open for the woman, I'm ready, ready

# I'm ready, come and find me... #

Goodbye, sweetheart!

< Take good care of yourself.

Oh, mummy, you forgot this.

Angel!

BOTH: Mwah!

I worry so about you living alone.

Oh, mother, it's adorable of you to be so concerned,

but I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, dear.

Come on, girls.

Good-bye, my chicken.

BELLS PEAL

Yes, I'm free! I can live in New York on my own.

I can do whatever I want!

Yay!

Yes!

I was born and nurtured in New York, the centre of the universe.

Unfortunately, my mother is moving me to another planet -

New Jersey.

Is it any wonder I couldn't face reality?

I mean, can anyone blame me for dreaming

that she was leaving me behind in my beloved city?

Mary! >

Mary, let's go! >

Goodbye childhood home.

Goodbye intellectual and spiritual stimulation.

Goodbye Broadway.

Mary, please. Don't be such a drama queen.

Lola! My name from this day forward is Lola.

I've known since I was five years old that my true name is Lola.

You were named Mary. It is the name on your birth certificate.

It is the name that I am going to call you.

In my family, I am a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.

# I trip, I fall, I catch myself

# Even wishing I was someone else

# I'm never where I'm supposed to be... #

Goodbye New York.

Goodbye any chance of becoming a famous actress.

# Adventure

# Finding the real me

# I'm a reflection

# Of everything I see

# Yeah. #

First, your parents tell you to have hopes and dreams.

And then they move you to New Jersey.

It makes no sense.

COW MOOS

Welcome to Deadwood.

Is she allowed to say that?

BRAKES SCREECH

Come on.

Hurry, hurry.

Let's see the new house.

Come on.

CHILDREN SHOUT IN DISTANCE

Oh, Mom.

It's just grass.

But it's all over the place.

The sun porch is my bedroom.

Ordinariness isn't the only thing I have to fight against in my house.

Gross injustice is another.

The only person I can turn to is Stu Wolff -

the greatest poet since Shakespeare and the lead singer of Sidarthur.

He'd see me through my dark suburban days.

In the city, I took two subways and a bus to get to school.

It amazes me that I can get to school without it costing 1.50.

Ow! Ugh!

Ow.

Dellwood High.

I shall be a bird in a cage with a good school district.

However, there is absolutely no point in being negative

about things you just can't change.

I look upon my new town as an empty stage to which I'm allowed to bring my own script.

In my heart, I feel that a legend is about to be born.

That legend would be me.

# It's all about style

# Living with style

# I'm living in, giving in

# Swimming in

# Style. #

Hello.

Hey.

I'm Lola Cep.

I'm from New York, originally.

Ella Gerard.

I'm from right here, originally.

Well...hi.

Hi. LOLA GASPS

Uh, hi!

Hi.

Have you ever seen Sidarthur in person?

No, but I think Stu Wolff is the greatest poet since Shakespeare.

I - I do, too.

I have every CD they ever made.

- You do? - Yeah!

And that's Stu Wolff dancing.

I've downloaded some great shots of him.

Here he is at the Grammys.

This is where he lives.

Oh, and this is the dress that I'm gonna wear when we get married.

This is him getting into his limo.

That black spot there - that's his head.

What a wonderful black spot it is.

Hi. Carla Santini.

Sidarthur.

My father is Stu Wolff's lawyer.

Really? Your dad must have been in the Same room as him and everything.

Many times.

Aren't you the girl who just moved into the Swenska house?

Well, I'm Lola Cep. I didn't know our home had a name.

Is that supposed to be that famous New York sense of humour?

Well, New Yorkers learn to laugh at themselves

and everything else when they're very young.

My parents took me to New York for my birthday.

I thought it was beautiful - the lights and everything.

I-I know why they call it the greatest city in the world.

Ella Gerard, you are the sister of my soul!

You should see Park Avenue at Christmas.

It's like walking through the Milky Way.

Except nobody gets mugged in the Milky Way.

BELL RINGS

We'll take our seats now.

Uh, Miss Baggoli?

Yes?

We have a new girl from New York City.

We do, we do. Uh, Miss... Miss Steppe.

Miss Cep.

Miss Baggoli, I know it must show on your records my name is Mary,

but everyone has referred to me as Lola

since I was a squealing infant in my mother's arms.

I don't even know who this Mary is.

I like that name - Lola.

Lola.

This is Lola.

Lola, I think you should know you're sitting in my favourite seat in history class.

I like to be dead centre.

Me, too. And I didn't think we had anything in common.

I've earned the centre seat.

Besides, if you want to fit in,

you shouldn't draw so much attention to yourself.

In case you haven't noticed, I like the attention.

Chill.

Also, I wouldn't hang out with Ella Never-had-a-fella.

She doesn't really have your potential, does she?

Look at her - she dresses like a politician's wife

with the hair and the shoes. She's so random.

What about those glasses? They are so ten minutes ago.

But I'm gonna stop myself before I get nasty.

I just want to let you know that if you're careful,

you could be chilling with us.

Chilling with you is what I've always dreamed of.

Hey, Ella, wait up! Do you mind if I sit with you?

Oh, no, that's fine. This is great.

When you eat outside in New York, your food gets dirty.

So, what's with the great Santini?

Uh, she's beautiful. She's popular. She's rich.

In kindergarten, she used to bite the heads off dolls.

Ew.

Who's that guy smiling at us?

That's Sam.

Sam!

Sam, Lola.

Lola, Sam.

Hi.

Hey.

- It's your first day here, right? - Yeah.

Well, it's good to meet you.

You, too.

I'll see you later.

'I couldn't possibly have a boyfriend.

'I mean, I have to focus on my acting career.'

'After three weeks,

'I'm getting used to the rich part of town -

'gated, dull, Armani-ridden.

'You know, I'm the kind of riffraff they try to keep out.'

# It's a day in the life It's a link in the chain

# Beginning, the ending, they both look the same

# Round and round

# No new ground

# O-o-h

# O-o-h

# O-o-o-o-o-h

# O-o-h

# O-o-h. #

When Stu Wolff sings,

"There's something in me that always wants more.

"More moons and stars and music in the wind",

it's as though he's just talking to me.

I like Steve.

I bet Stu is hard to get along with.

You can tell he's sort of moody.

Haunted.

All true geniuses are haunted.

It's part of what they have to suffer for their art.

Popovers, ladies.

Uh... wow. This is just like eating in a diner. Thank you.

Well, surely you have popovers at home.

I just popped them in the microwave.

My mother doesn't approve of microwaves.

She has very strong opinions.

Oh, I've never heard of anyone taking a stance on an appliance before.

Why doesn't your mother like me?

She likes you. She just thinks you're a little strange.

I mean, you are...a little.

Lola!

L-Lola, I'm sorry!

I-I... I-i-it's really your mother she thinks is strange.

My-my mom saw your mother in the supermarket

wearing dirty overalls with chopsticks in her hair

and arguing with the butcher.

It's not important.

Not important?

She's the woman who gave me life,

whose milk fed my fragile body,

whose blood flows through my veins.

Of course it's important.

M-my parents are square.

Neither of them is too happy about the fact

that your mother has three children and no husband.

Single motherhood is a transitory state.

Karen used to be married.

It could happen again.

But I thought you said you were a love child.

Uh...

Well, I-I was a love child.

Mom and Dad were married and passionately in love.

My parents were mad for each other as soon as their eyes met.

Dad was like a rock star.

Mom was a babe.

The rest was destiny.

They got married.

Then they camped in the desert.

Both: One million and two.

And counted the stars.

One million and three,

one million and four...

Jeez! My parents went on a cruise to Bermuda,

but they were afraid to get off the boat.

Mine were in love.

Deeply, movingly.

The only thing that could have made their lives better was having me.

Even as an infant, I aspired to have a relationship just like theirs.

And then the twins were conceived,

and we couldn't have been more thrilled.

Upon hearing the news, my father mounted his really cool motorcycle

to buy the mother of his child and future children

her favourite flowers.

HORN HONKS

Suddenly...

Aaaaah!

COOS

They found him strewn across 9th Avenue...

And 10th.

Lola, I'm so sorry.

I had no idea.

Ironic, isn't it?

Your parents think my mother

is the destroyer of our social order.

She's merely a victim of fate.

What?

Nothing.

I like the chopsticks in your hair.

# Sweet 16

# Always acting like a beauty queen

# like you're posing in a magazine... #

WHISTLE BLOWS

LOLA: Because Carla Santini thinks she's Julia Roberts

and the universe is interested in everything she says,

you can't help overhearing her.

So I had this really long talk with Miss Baggoli yesterday

about the drama club's production of "Pygmalion."

And I told her I think it's really rigid to stick to the original.

(Not stick to the original?)

Not stick to the exquisite words of Mr George Bernard Shaw?

We're not English, and this isn't the 19th century, so I think we should adapt the classics

to reflect our own times.

They're classics because they're classic!

And then I told her my idea to move the location to present-day New York

and make Eliza a checkout girl.

So I guess you're gonna be playing Eliza.

Well, of course. I've already got the part.

LOLA: When I moved to Deadwood,

I really felt that a legend was about to be born.

Was Carla Santini going to stand in the way of that birth?

Miss Baggoli, Miss Baggoli!

I didn't know "Pygmalion" had already been cast.

And I would have loved to have had a chance to be Eliza Doolittle.

Maybe if I could just prove it to you now, then -

Oh, no, no, Lola.

I just put the notice on the board. Auditions are not until Friday.

Thank you, Miss Baggoli.

George Bernard Shaw is a great playwright.

And he's also a vegetarian.

You're just in time, Lola. Quickly.

I'm telling all the others about this idea

that I have had for our production of "Pygmalion."

Now, as you know, "Pygmalion" is a play

which takes place in old-timey London.

My idea is...

that we will set our production of "Pygmalion"

in modern-day New York.

And Eliza will be a checkout girl at a supermarket,

and Professor Higgins will be a professor at NYU.

That is such a brilliant idea.

That's gonna give the play new resonance and immediacy for today.

You mean it was your idea?

Yes, Lola, it's my idea.

I know I'm just a teacher, but I am capable of thought.

Now, since we're going hip and modern,

I have also added

contemporary songs,

and I am calling it "Eliza Rocks"!

OK, now, now -

each of you will be singing a song for me -

of your choice, of your choice -

and then you'll be reading a scene for me.

But I haven't rehearsed a song or anything. I-I'm simply not prepared.

That's fine. You can just wing it.

But acting is my chosen career. I mean, I intend to be in theatre.

I don't want anyone remembering my substandard audition.

Then how are we to proceed?

I-I guess I'll try, of course.

Perhaps you could try now. You could go first.

OK.

Take a spot on the stage - anywhere you're comfortable.

(Maybe if we're lucky, she'll fall.)

I'd like to sing a song by my favourite band -

Sidarthur.

# Don't move on

# Don't move on

# Don't move, don't move

# Don't move

# Don't move on

# You brought me to the highest mountain

# Out of my deep despair

# And you don't know how much I need you

# To stand beside you, to breathe your air

# Don't move on

# Don't move on

# Don't move, don't move

# Don't move

# Don't move on

# Behind some doors

# People are waiting

# People are waiting to sparkle

# Don't move on

# Don't move on

# Don't move, don't move

# Don't move

# Don't move

# O-o-o-o-n! #

APPLAUSE

# Uh-oh

# Uh-oh

# Uh-oh... #

LOLA: Self-doubt didn't kick in until the morning,

when I woke up with a heart as cold and as heavy as Mount Everest.

It was the day the cast list went up.

Why had I been so certain that I was going to get the lead?

Miss Baggoli didn't say anything encouraging.

Carla smiled.

# Oh-oh

# Oh-oh... #

- Well, look what the wind blew in. - Look what the cat dragged in.

Ladies.

After you.

Right. After me.

# Na-na na-na-na

# That's all I'm gonna say

# Cos na-na na-na-na

# You've made up your mind anyways

# Can't we be friends?

# Why does it end

# Before a word

# Is even heard?

# I look at you

# Your attitude

# Why can't you see

# That it's not me?

# La-la la-la-la

# Next time I won't let it stew

# La-la la-la-la... #

SHE WHIMPERS

Ow!

Well,

once again, I got the part that I wanted.

- Oh! - Oh!

There are no small parts, only small actors.

You can quote me.

I'm your new Eliza! Aah!

Amazing!

- I didn't think I'd get it. - I knew you'd get it.

BOTH TALK AT ONCE

Actually, my part, the one of Mrs Higgins,

is, um, much more interesting than Eliza's in many ways.

I mean, even though she's not the female lead,

it's a part with depth and true contemporary resonance.

And it's the one that I wanted.

Good, cos that's the one you got.

I'll show you what it's like to be in my school.

- Is that a threat? - Absolutely.

# Oh-oh

# Oh-oh... #

To Eliza Rocks!

BOTH: To Eliza Rocks!

Oh, man. Congratulations.

This is the best day ever. Carla got beat out! That was beautiful!

MAN ON RADIO: 'Hey, Sidarthur fans, how about some big news?

'You heard it here first - the band is breaking up.'

- What?! - 'Yep, Sidarthur is no more.

'I repeat - no more.

'Stu Wolff is moving on and saying,

'"Never, never, never will I work with them again."

'So, in memory of the band, let's hear a track from Always Morning.'

THUNDERCLAP

SLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

- NO-O-O! - It can't be!

It just can't be! SHE SCREAMS

What...what... what's the matter?

I can't breathe. Mom, I can't breathe.

SHE SOBS

I heard.

Thanks for being here at a time like this.

ELLA: I don't want to believe it.

I made these flyers to hand out to fans urging them to protest.

As these balloons go to the heavens,

so do the stars of our Sidarthur

mix among the stars of our universe.

Symbolically, of course.

UP-TEMPO DANCE MUSIC

Can you believe this? One of the most catastrophic events

in the history of the universe has just occurred,

and everyone's acting as if nothing has happened.

BUZZER, MUSIC STOPS MECHANISED VOICE: 'Great!'

Me again, of course.

So, who's next?

Me. Are you crazy? Carla's the all-time champion.

So? There's gonna be a new all-time champion.

- I think you've peaked. - Hop on.

BELL RINGS 'Round one.'

My father, who, as you know, is the lawyer for Sidarthur,

just called me on my cell phone to tell me

what he found out about the band.

Oh, really?

What he told me isn't available to the public yet.

Sidarthur's having a farewell concert

in New York City next month.

Daddy already has VIP seats,

but that's not the best part.

I didn't think it would be.

There's gonna be an awesome party afterwards at Stu's loft

for all of Sidarthur's closest friends.

So I've heard.

And guess who already has an invitation?

It just so happens that Ella and I do.

- Oh, really? - Yeah, really.

- How'd you manage that? - Same way you did -

through parental connections.

What connections do you have other than the phone?

BUZZER, MUSIC STOPS

'Winner.'

Me again.

'Loser.'

Game's not over yet.

BELL DINGS 'Round two.'

Actually, my mother has the connections.

Marsh Warner bought a piece from her last summer.

And Marshie, as I call him, is their manager.

I know who he is.

He remembered I was crazy about Sidarthur,

so he got us invited.

Wow, your mom must be some potter.

BUZZER

CROWD CHEERS

'Winner.'

Me - Lola Cep.

Remember that name.

'Loser.

'Awesome!'

Why did you tell Carla that we were invited to his party?

You would have done the exact Same thing if you were me.

I wouldn't have lied. I would have thought before I spoke.

I...I can't even imagine being you.

Oh! Carla Santini drives me insane.

Don't even say that.

Two of her nannies were institutionalised.

Not to worry.

You just handed her exactly what she needs

to ridicule you and humiliate you

for the rest of your life, and me, too!

Well, I mean, I guess it depends, doesn't it?

Depends on what?

Well, on whether we go.

To the concert?!

In New York?

And the party.

We haven't exactly been invited.

You don't have to be invited

to a party like that.

There are people that live in New York that don't even go out

unless it's to crash a celebrity bash.

My mother would never let me go.

We can work around your mother, Ella.

Tell the truth - are you partially insane?

You know, we have to go.

It's a matter of pride.

Is there something wrong with the salmon?

No. Just not very hungry.

In too much pain.

I'm in pain, too. My tooth's coming out.

Oh!

It's not that kind of pain.

It's pain of the heart.

Sidarthur's broken up.

They're having one last concert in New York,

and then that's it - they're done.

Good night, sweet princes.

May choirs of rock angels sing you to sleep.

I have no reason to live without them.

Let me take a wild guess -

you want to go to the concert.

If I could just see them play live,

at least I'd have the memory to carry me

through the long, empty years

that lie ahead,

like a road in Kansas. OK,

I don't think that kids and rock concerts

are a great mix.

How can you treat me like this?

I was your firstborn.

You leaned over my crib to make sure I was breathing!

That's why I want to keep you alive.

She wouldn't even stop

for the tiniest, most subatomic second

to consider my fragile hopes and dreams.

What did Ella's mother say?

She didn't ask her.

She said her mom would bite off a 10 acrylic nail

if she even brought it up.

So, I guess that's that.

No, I'm not exactly a "que sera, sera" kind of person.

Right.

I like your necklace.

Thanks.

I've had it since I was six.

It's practically an antique.

I like your boots.

Thanks. I like your smile.

Om.

Om.

Dinner, Mary, now.

I'm on a hunger strike, like Gandhi,

driven to desperate measures

by the insensitivity of the British government.

Not one morsel will pass my lips

until you say I can go see Sidarthur.

You have got two minutes to get to this table

or the insensitive British government

is gonna take the door off its hinges

and drag you out here.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Om.

Come in if you must.

Yeah. ..OK, but the thing is,

the drama queen has been Gandhi for two days now.

- MAN: 'I'll take her.' - OK, I will try it.

Your dad wants to know if he can take you to the concert.

Hi, Dad.

Yeah, thanks for the invitation,

but I couldn't possibly go with my father.

I mean, I'd die of shame.

OK. All right.

Love you, too. Bye.

Hello? ..Yeah.

< Mm-hm. OK.

Om.

I'll try it. OK, how about this?

Daddy drops you off at the concert

and then picks you up after.

Oh, you mean like a little kid

being picked up from a day-care centre?

Is there no end to the humiliation

you want to heap upon me, Mom?

We're heaping humiliation.

< Yeah.

OK.

Bye.

All right, tonight you are eating.

Is Mary going to die?

No, she's not gonna die,

but it smells like something has died in here.

< What is that smell?

MOM GASPS

OK. That's it.

No allowance for one month,

and then you're gonna have a parole hearing.

But I could really use the money now, Mom.

Can't you take it away

next month, or September?

No.

That's so cool.

I have been looking all over for you two.

< I knew you'd want to see these.

See, they just came in the mail.

They've just been printed.

Please, you're blocking my view.

So, did you get yours yet?

Actually, mine came in the mail yesterday,

but I'm nice enough not to flaunt them.

Why don't you just admit that you don't have tickets

or an invite and get it over with?

You know, I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of photographers there.

Maybe we can even get our pictures taken together.

That's a deal.

Oh, and you can be in the shot, too, Ella.

Absolutely. I'll be there.

Really?

Uh...I guess.

Don't worry. I have enough for both of us.

I swear I'm gonna pay you back the minute...

no, the second I get my allowance reinstated.

It's OK.

And as soon as I get my first starring role,

I'm taking you to Europe. Great.

You sure we have enough for the...?

BOTH GASP

Oh, no. Company.

Well, look who's here.

I'd, uh, stay and chat,

but I don't want to stay and chat.

She was so mean to Callie Stevenson,

her family had to move to Cleveland.

Catch you at the concert Friday.

That would be a good line if we were going.

You know, I don't think something

as small as tickets should stop us.

Scalpers, Ella.

Part of the fun in going to New York

is dealing with the slimeball scalpers.

If we go, I just know

something is gonna go wrong,

and I'm gonna die,

and my parents are gonna find out.

LOLA: And then Mrs Higgins says,

"And what will you do now, dear?"

Hi.

Hey, Mom.

Um, there's gonna be a cast party

at Carla "The Bad" Santini's house after the show,

and everyone's gonna be

really dressed up,

and, I mean, it's my big night,

and I want to look absolutely perfect.

OK, well, the car broke down today.

That cost me 600, plus I have to buy a new kiln,

so, I mean, do you think you could look absolutely perfect

in something that you already own?

Sure, I'll try and find something.

Yeah.

MUSIC: "Any Other Girl" by Nu

Can you believe 64 hours from now

we'll be within touching distance

from the man who wrote so many great songs,

and I still haven't found something to wear?

# Saying, "Come on, baby, show it

# "Come on, baby, show it, come in and meet the boys..." #

LOLA: 'What I needed for the concert was a drop-dead-gorgeous dress

'that made me look 25 and sophisticated enough

'to have a perfume named after me.

'This had to be really, really special.

'It had to be glamorous, and it had to make a statement,

'if I wanted Stu Wolff to notice me, that is.'

# You better look good, you've got to have height... #

Might as well just wear this to see Stu.

Nothing else to wear, anyway.

I'm just gonna be the dowdy redhead who doesn't know how to dress.

ELLA SOBS

Don't worry, Ella,

I'll find something to wear.

I mean, accessories are good, too,

and they'll help me, and...

Don't cry.

I...I can't lie!

I can't say that I'm sleeping over

at your house when I'm not.

I can't go into New York behind my parents' backs.

I can't do it.

Well, we're not really

going behind their backs.

I mean, they're gonna be in the city, too,

Just not in the Same venue.

I'm not going. I'm not going.

I'm not going.

E-Ella, I mean,

we're supposed to do things like this.

15-year-olds in other cultures

are...are grandmothers,

and no-one gave their permission to do that.

I mean, it's not our fault

that the people who brought us into this world

don't understand that we must

fly away from the nest.

Nature is telling us to go.

And our parents are good people.

They love us.

Yeah, they love us, right?

They really love us,

and I'm sure they'd hate if

anything happened to us,

and...

Wait here one second, OK?

Don't cry. It's gonna work out.

We'll go, and it'll be fun.

I can't lie!

Mom, it's amazing how sometimes I come to your conclusions.

Ella and I could use, as you say,

adult supervision. Uh-huh.

So here's the plan.

You drive us to the train in broad, broad daylight.

Ella's parents are going to be in New York,

and they'd be more than happy to pick us up

at Grand Central -

Grand Central Station.

They'll drop us off at the concert,

and we'll stay overnight with them at their hotel.

Sounds so safe, I know.

I can't even believe it came out of my own head.

OK, OK, I'm gonna have to talk

with Ella's mom and dad.

Of course, and when you do it, do it gently,

because they know nothing about this.

Mary!

And try and remember, we're in suburbia.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

And, you know, it wouldn't hurt if you threw in

that microwaves aren't that bad.

Well, see, Mary feels she really

must, must, must see the concert.

And is that how you feel, sweetie -

that you must see these Sidarthur people?

It's their last performance.

Well, why didn't you just ask, pumpkin?

I didn't know I could.

DAD: All right.

Your mother and I are going into the city on Thursday

for a long weekend. Yeah.

We'll pick them up at the station,

and they can stay with us at the Hilton.

Which is practically down the street from the concert.

Well, that would be great.

Oh, it's as if the heavens wanted this.

- Miss Baggoli? - Yes?

Someone broke the heel.

No! Oh!

Girls, pl... Everybody! Listen up.

General announcement, everyone.

Costumes are sacred.

Costumes are sacred.

Please.

I mean, what does one wear to Stu Wolff's party?

There's gonna be so many famous people there.

I don't know. I just want to look hot.

One wears what one usually wears to these soirees.

# I wanna be loved by you

# Just you

# Nobody else but you

# I wanna be loved by you alone

# Boop, boop, ba-doo

# I wanna be kissed by you

# Just you

# Nobody else but you

# I wanna be kissed by you alone

# I couldn't aspire

# To anything higher

# Than to fill the desire to make you my own

# Ba-dum, ba-dum, dum-de-dum

# I wanna be loved by you

# Just you

# And nobody else but you... #

Oh...please...

Lola! Oh, my gosh! Lola! BELL RINGS

LOLA: 'Crime has never appealed to me as a way of life,

'but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do,

'and I needed Eliza's dress.'

You know, you don't have to do this for me.

I mean, I know you said you'd do me a favour,

but this one may be too big.

Don't worry.

I'll be in and out of the drama room in seconds.

5, 6, 7, 8, and...

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

LOLA: 'OK, I know it's not like me to be unprofessional,

'but how can I concentrate

'when Sam is risking his life for me?

'And when in ten hours' time,

'I'll be standing right in front of Stu Wolff?'

Oof.

Wait a minute. No, no.

OK, everybody, that's... That's enough!

Excuse me, PLEASE!

MUSIC STOPS

(I'm sorry.)

Maybe you're messing up so much

because you're so excited about the concert tonight.

No, I'm used to those things.

Lola and Carla, do you have to talk?!

< Opening night is in one week.

I would think that we could just have

one decent rehearsal by now!

SHE GASPS

< All right.

What I think we'll do now is we'll just breathe.

Breathe deep, and try and relax.

THEY INHALE

THEY VOCALISE

< And another one.

Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it,

shake it, shake it, shake.

And you all just keep shaking and relaxing.

And I'm gonna get something I really need

out of the drama room.

No, no, no, Miss Baggoli,

it's OK, I'll get it for you.

No, that's all right, Lola,

because what I need

is locked up in the drama room.

No, but on page 42 of the script

is where I want to sort of look down demurely.

Lola, get out of my way!

Can't we just go back onto the stage?

Miss Baggoli, please.

Please, just get out of...

Lola, would you please get out of my way?

That's odd.

Why isn't this locked? Oh, my goodness.

Hmm...

But I always lock this door.

LOLA: You know, you probably did lock it.

I mean, we have the Same lock at home.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't.

I mean, you never know what's gonna happen.

Oh, oh, oh.

OK, nothing seems to be missing.

Why would anything be missing here?

Well, I have no idea, do I?

You know, I...I just...

I want to talk to you about my lines.

I don't really know them that well.

What do you mean, you don't know your lines?

At this time, I don't even want to discuss this.

No, I'm not even gonna discuss this right now.

SHE GASPS

Lola, you're just making me so nervous.

Well, I...I need to show you something on the stage.

You know what I think?

I think that you've just been working so hard -

entirely too hard -

and that you should just really try

and take the weekend off and relax, OK?

I...I've never really relaxed before.

There's no reason I can't try.

I think you should. I just think you should.

Oh, my gosh! I was so terrified.

I know. I was just about to grab the dress

when Miss Baggoli came in.

Thanks for trying.

Trying?

Take a look under the hood.

SHE GASPS

Are you kidding me?

# Oh, yeah... #

LOLA: Hurry, quick, I don't want to miss the train.

ELLA: Wait for me!

TANNOY: 342 to Grand Central Station Now arriving.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe you stole Eliza's dress.

I didn't steal it. I borrowed it.

Borrowed? You mean you asked if it was OK?

Well, not exactly. I mean, Sam...

You got Sam to steal it for you?

Borrowed! Borrowed it. Sam borrowed it.

It'll be back in the closet by Monday morning.

Oh. Yeah. I'm gonna get off.

I can't go through with this. No, no.

Ella, Ella, don't back out now, please.

Please just let me have one night of pure joy

if I'm gonna have to spend the rest of my precious youth behind bars.

This better be one great concert.

That's a given.

I don't want to get near a scalper.

You take the money, OK?

OK.

# Oh, yeah

# Come on, come on, come on, come on

# Come on, get in

# Hang your coats

# Eat our chips, come on

# We've got notes

# Shake your coconuts

# Coco boys

# Until that nut comes out, come on

# Coco girls

# Just keep on dancing now

# Just keep on getting down

# Just keep on having fun

# The party's just begun

# All dressed up

# And dressed to kill

# Doctor says, "Come on, eat your pills"

# Shake your coconuts... # Atchoo!

# Coco boys

# Until that milk comes out

# Coco girls

# Just keep on having fun... # COUGHS

# The party's just begun

# Just keep on dancing

# Just keep on getting down

# Just keep on dancing

# Just keep on getting down

# Just keep on having fun

# The party's just begun

# Whoo! #

TANNOY: Hartford express, New Haven line.

Wow!

Wow, you... you look beautiful!

- You too, Lola. - Thanks.

Yes, you do...

both of you.

Now... now, the hotel is...

is just a few blocks from the theatre.

I know. I know my New York.

We'll be back in the hotel room at 12.00.

You have your tickets and your money?

We have the money. We'll buy the tickets.

Oh, here.

Thank you.

We'll, uh, we'll drop you off.

I can assure you, everything is gonna be fine.

It's just a quiet little concert.

# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

# Ha, ha

# Whoo... #

GIRLS SCREAM

# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

# Ha, ha

# Whoo... #

INDISTINCT SHOUTING

LOLA: OK, Ella, heads up, march forward.

- Get ready to rock'n'roll. - POLICEMAN: Girls, please.

- Oh, our tickets are at the door. - OK.

LOLA: Look for someone who's selling tickets.

Isn't there a stall or something?

No. They're just ordinary people doing ordinary scalping.

Oh! Watch this.

You have to be strict with these people.

You have to bargain and deal.

How much?

165 in orchestra. Can't get any better than that.

We'll take them.

165 doesn't leave us very much for incidentals.

When you get to see Stu Wolff,

you don't need incidentals.

It's in your make-up bag.

Oh, right.

W-w-what's wrong?

Ella, it's not here. My make-up bag's not here.

It must be.

It has to be.

When did you last see it?

In the train. I left it behind the...

sink.

Oh, no.

Oh. Maybe it's karma.

All we have to do is go in with a large group of people.

What? You mean sneak in?

Sneaking would be beneath us, but...

I can't think of a better word for what we're about to do.

I have never snuck, ever. I can't do it.

I'm terrified just being here.

Stage fright. It'll pass.

This is a little tricky, so just follow my lead, OK?

I wonder what song they'll do.

I hope they do Love Loser.

Oh, I'm so excited!

I feel like I've been waiting for this for ever.

Just a minute.

Can I have another look at your ticket, please?

Uh, right. Uh, my ticket. Sure.

RUSTLING

You know, i-it's not here.

I must have dropped it or something.

No ticket...

no concert.

I demand to see your supervisor.

Yeah? You can see him outside.

But...

Come to the door.

Come...to...the door.

OK, go see Stu.

Go...see...Stu.

Go see Stu!

OK, stay there. Don't move. I'm coming in.

I just have to be with my cousin.

She has this...this rare disease that makes you gag

and you can't breathe and then you die.

I mean, she shouldn't be left alone, and, look -

look, she's alone - the one who's gagging and not breathing.

I have to be with her at all times.

OK.

Good plan.

MUSIC PLAYS IN DISTANCE

Maybe we should just go to the hotel.

What? And miss the concert?

Yeah, I don't think so.

We're not actually at the concert.

We're close. I mean,

Stu Wolff's only a few yards away from us.

And then he'll be at the after-party with us.

Your belief system amazes me.

Ella, where are you going?

Don't leave me!

Come back! Ella!

What are you doing?

I'm going back to the hotel.

So you're just gonna give up?

If everyone gave up,

there'd be no America, no electricity, no TiVo.

We'd all have to watch shows at their scheduled times.

We'd never get to see Renee Zellweger or Christina Aguilera.

If everyone gave up, we'd all be sitting in mud huts in Europe eating weeds.

I didn't say stop progress.

I just said, "Go back to the hotel."

But don't you want to see the look on Carla's face

when we show up at that party?

Yeah, I do.

Great! Then let's go to SoHo.

Where in SoHo? We don't even know where Stu lives.

Oh, sure, we do. I have this.

ELLA: A picture of a door?

LOLA: It's not just a door.

It's a black door with windows.

Have some faith, Ella.

SoHo is New York's artistic soul.

And it's just around the corner.

# Get ready or not, cos here I come

# Dance, dance, dance, have some fun

# 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... #

THUNDER # Get up, get up

# Get up, up, up

# O-o-h

# Up, up, up... #

ELLA: 67 blocks is "around the corner"?!

# ..Rain falls down on my parade

# Lemons into lemonade

# Can't slow me down, no way, no way... #

Ready? Yeah.

# Yesterday is in the past

# Dream on, tomorrow's coming fast

# All you got is now... #

Ready? # ..Get up, get up... #

Ohh! # Get ready or not, cos here I come

# Dance, dance, dance, have some fun

# 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

# Get up, get up... #

There's a man following us.

Don't be silly, Ella.

The crime rate in New York is going down.

(Come on. Let's go.)

There's a man and a dog following us.

OK. Stay here. I'll handle this.

New Yorkers know how to handle trouble.

Watch this.

Hey! Hey!

Dad, what are you doing here?

Your mom called.

Asked me to keep an eye on you.

She got nervous.

Mom was born nervous.

So, where are you going?

To a party.

Not like that. You're all wet.

Daddy, nothing can rain on my parade.

You know, I like parties.

Please, Dad. If you show up,

then Stu Wolff will never think I'm cool.

Can't you just wait outside or something?

Right outside.

But if I see something even slightly wrong,

I'm coming in.

You know, I really like parties.

Thanks, Dad.

And could you lay low? You're scaring my friend.

Right.

But I'll be watching. >

Well, he won't be bothering us any more.

So, are you ready to have fun?

I-I hope so.

OK. Good.

BOTH: # I'm going to a party

# With Sidarthur! #

Yeah!

# Oh-oh... #

That was the Santini car.

# Oh-oh

# Oh-oh

# Oh-oh

# Oh-oh

# Oh-oh

# Oh-oh... #

SHOUTING AND CHEERING

Hi! Lola Cep. Ella Gerard. Nice to see you again.

I'll have to see your invitations.

Strange you should ask. We left them at the concert.

Our names should be on the list.

There they are!

Dr and Mrs Lawrence?

Yeah. Uh, my mom and my dad.

They couldn't make it.

My mom has a rash, and my dad's in surgery.

I thought your name was Step.

Could I just use your phone?

I have to call my parents. Please?

This is a private residence, not Grand Central Station.

Use a public phone.

BARKING

Whoa, whoa!

MAN: Stu, this is your own party! It's your own party.

SLURRED: You don't tell me what to do any more, Steve.

Don't you remember? It's over.

STEVE: Come inside before you embarrass yourself.

You touch me... HE MUMBLES

Yeah, remember? He's been trouble all over the world.

Thank God he's not our problem any more.

Steve! Steve!

I-I love you.

Wait, let me just talk to you for one minute!

Well, except for the garbage and the cars,

it's like following Heathcliff out on the moors.

Maybe we shouldn't.

Would you please relax?

I'd rather lose him than lose my life.

Where do you think he's going?

Someplace great.

MUTTERING

This for you is great?

I'm getting really scared being out here all alone, Lola.

We're not alone. We're with an adult.

CANS RATTLE

Aside from the fact that he isn't actually with us,

he isn't actually an adult. He's a rock star.

STU MOANS

RUSTLING

LOLA: Mr Wolff?

What...? Come with me.

Come on. Help me get him out.

ELLA WHIMPERS

ELLA: He smells like a backed-up drain.

LOLA: Ella, Ella, Ella. I mean, see the beauty.

Oh, my God! He's crying.

Do you believe how lucky we are?

I almost hear them praying that we don't sit near them.

OK, well, quickly get him into a booth before anyone smells him.

Everybody wants something from me.

You think I'm a regular guy.

I'm not a regular guy. >

Do you...do you think anybody really knows who I am?

I don't even know who I am.

Once we get some coffee in him,

I'm sure he'll become the man of truth, passion,

and unflagging courage I know him to be.

So, what will it be?

Do you think I have any real friends?

We'll just have coffee.

Not me.

I'll have a deluxe hamburger platter,

well done,

and a large side of onion rings.

Uh, you know, you could just give him coffee.

He's not really up to a meal right now.

I-I want a deluxe hamburger platter. Is that too difficult?

Look, you two better keep him in line.

The boss won't stand for any nonsense.

What do you want?

Autographs? Money? A record deal?

Hey, there, girls, do you want something from me?

This is a poet who lit your darkest days?

Didn't I tell you he was a tortured soul?

Stu, do you have any cash on you?

We sort of left ours on the train.

I knew you wanted money.

Look.

Nothing.

That's not onion rings.

Can you believe this?

I mean, we're actually having coffee

With Stu Wolff.

I have so much to ask you about your work.

It's impossible to talk to someone who's had that much to drink.

You know, you just don't understand the artistic soul.

He drinks so much to numb the intensity of his feelings.

All geniuses do, Ella.

I want onion rings.

This is a donut!

I want onion rings.

Now.

What is wrong with the service around here?

Are we together?

Who are you?

Uh, the fates have sort of brought us together.

This is Ella.

Ella what?

Ella Gerard. 58 Birch Hollow Road, Dellwood, New Jersey.

201-555-0199.

But tonight my parents are staying at the New York Hilton,

and I really don't want to worry them by being incarcerated.

It's my mother's birthday. I bought her a rug.

Be quiet, Mr Wolff. You?

Lola Cep. My father's name is Calum Cep.

Address is 512 Bleecker Street.

212-555-0125.

< All right, the three of you,

sit over there while I make some calls.

What's wrong with you?

Why did you lie like that to the police?

Don't you think they're gonna find out

that your father is dead?

Excuse me, but what's going on?

Who are you two?

What's wrong with you? I mean...

How come you're not afraid of what your parents are gonna say?

I'm resigned to what life may bring.

But why did you give a false address?

You know, Ella, I think your true soul and spirit

are finally beginning to emerge.

Why did you lie?

I didn't lie.

My father does live on Bleecker Street,

and he has a rent-controlled apartment

and a dog named Negus.

You told me your father died in a motorcycle accident.

So I exaggerated a little.

A little?

Exaggerating "a little"

is saying you're a little taller.

Saying your father is dead when he's not

is lying beyond comprehension.

Can we talk about this later?

I mean, don't you think we should tell Stu what happened first?

I think you should tell me what happened.

Why did you say your father was dead?

He died? When?

I had a reason.

And what was that?

The truth?

No, a lie will do(!) Yes, the truth!

You do remember what that is, don't you?

Were we in a diner? I have an image of "Merry Xmas".

If you could just give me a moment, I'd be happy to explain.

But right now I'm talking to her.

All right.

The total truth.

I lied because I wanted to make myself seem more interesting.

More interesting?

We are 1,000 miles from home in a New York police station

with a drunken rock star

waiting for your dead father to show up,

and you want to be more interesting?

More interesting than what?

You know, you just don't understand.

It was a new town and a new school.

I understand.

And I lied for my mom.

I had to protect her against suburbia.

Your parents just didn't get her.

So you killed your father?

Ella!

I-I would appreciate it if you would just stop talking.

Ella, come on.

Just...

What's going on?

Arrest that man! He's a stalker.

Ella, Dad. Dad, Ella.

Hi. I'm Calum Cep, her father. What happened?

That's what I've been asking.

LOLA: 'As the night continued to fall on the dark,

'heartless streets around the precinct,

'the six of us gathered around the sergeant,

'and I told our tale.'

We were desperate to get into this man's concert

because I consider him to be the greatest poet since Shakespeare.

But we lost our money on the train, and we couldn't pay a scalper.

And then we tried to crash his party

rather than have our dreams forever denied.

And when he stormed out of his SoHo loft,