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SLOW POP BALLAD PLAYS | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
# Into a life of pain | 0:00:03 | 0:00:04 | |
# Came something beautiful | 0:00:04 | 0:00:08 | |
# Someone who loved me much as I love her | 0:00:08 | 0:00:13 | |
# There have been trials and tribulations | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
# And not just a few | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
# But we made it through | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
# And now the time's at hand | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
UP-TEMPO BEAT: # We're gonna get married | 0:00:24 | 0:00:28 | |
# And have everything | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
# Birdies sing | 0:00:31 | 0:00:33 | |
# The bells will ring | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
# Bells of every denomination ringing | 0:00:36 | 0:00:39 | |
# We're gonna get married | 0:00:39 | 0:00:41 | |
# We're gonna get married | 0:00:41 | 0:00:42 | |
# We're gonna get married | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
# We're gonna get married | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
# We're gonna get married | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
# Wait and see. # | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
WOMAN GASPING | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
You must do something! | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
Baby's coming! | 0:00:56 | 0:00:57 | |
Yeah, I know baby's coming. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:58 | |
Miss, you have to stay calm | 0:00:58 | 0:00:59 | |
and take deep breaths, OK? ..Myra! | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
I need a doctor here right now. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
-I'm working on it! -You're not doctor? | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
-No, I'm a nurse. -You're man | 0:01:05 | 0:01:06 | |
and you're nurse?! | 0:01:06 | 0:01:07 | |
What kind of man is nurse? | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
Look, folks, I'm a professional, OK? | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
I know exactly what I'm doing. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:13 | |
So just trust me, everything's gonna be fine. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:14 | |
All right? OK. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
Yeah. Yeah, you're fully dilated. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
Hey, I need that doctor right now. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
There are no free doctors. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:21 | |
Nurse, you're gonna have to | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
deliver that baby yourself. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:24 | |
I can see a head! | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
Holy shit. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
SHE SCREAMS | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
Check it out. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
We did it. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
We had a boy. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:41 | |
A boy. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:42 | |
You're my hero! | 0:01:42 | 0:01:43 | |
Mm-hmm. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
I name baby for you. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:46 | |
Oh...you don't have to do that. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
Yeah, I must. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
It's a Latvian tradition. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
We will name the baby... | 0:01:51 | 0:01:52 | |
HE GROANS SOFTLY | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
-MAN'S VOICE: -'Hello. You've reached the Fockers. We're not around. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
'So leave us a message. Goodbye. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
'Roz! How the hell do you shut this thing off?' | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
-ROZ: -'I have no idea. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:11 | |
'Just press a button. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
'All right, I'm pretty sure it's off. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:14 | |
'Honey! you want a chimichanga? | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
'I thought they gave you gas. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:17 | |
-'A little bit but it's worth it. -Yeah, worth it for you, | 0:02:17 | 0:02:19 | |
'but I'm the one that gets the fumes. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
'Honey, I'm in the mood for a chimichanga! | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
-'So make a chimi...' -BEEP | 0:02:23 | 0:02:24 | |
Hey, guys, it's me. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
Dad, I told you six months ago you have to change that message. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
Anyway, I'm just calling to double-check, | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
cos I didn't hear back from you. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:32 | |
you know that Pam and I are flying out | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
to Oyster Bay today, and then we're flying | 0:02:34 | 0:02:35 | |
to Miami tomorrow with the Byrneses. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
And our flight gets in at 7.30, | 0:02:37 | 0:02:38 | |
So that should put us at the house around nine. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
So just give me a call back on my cell, OK, | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
cos I want to go over a few things with you about | 0:02:42 | 0:02:43 | |
Pam's dad, and just, um... | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
just some other stuff for the weekend. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:47 | |
All right? I love you. Bye. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:48 | |
-Hey. -Morning, sweetie. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
How was your shift? | 0:02:50 | 0:02:51 | |
-Ah, guess what? -What? | 0:02:51 | 0:02:52 | |
I delivered my first baby. SHE GASPS | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
-No way. -Mm-hmm. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:55 | |
-Oh, honey... -Yeah. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:56 | |
..I'm so proud of you. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
It was incredible. | 0:02:57 | 0:02:58 | |
I mean, just-just to be pulling this life force | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
out of this woman's... you know... | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
I mean, it was just so... | 0:03:03 | 0:03:04 | |
it was... the whole baby thing is... | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
it's so cool. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:07 | |
That's great, honey! | 0:03:07 | 0:03:09 | |
-That's great! -So, er, you think you're ready to go? | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
I want to get to the airport a little early. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
No, just give me a sec. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:14 | |
You know how things always go wrong... | 0:03:14 | 0:03:15 | |
The flight doesn't leave for four hours, honey. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:16 | |
I just wish we could set a wedding date | 0:03:16 | 0:03:17 | |
without our parents actually having to meet. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
Honey, this weekend is gonna be fine. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
And your parents are great. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
Well, they're great in small doses. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:24 | |
Well, 48 hours in Coconut Grove is a small dose. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:27 | |
Besides, you've already won over my dad, | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
and that is the hard part. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:30 | |
Mm. That is true. I mean, | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
I am still in the Byrnes family circle of trust, right? | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
You're firmly in the circle. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:36 | |
-PAM LAUGHS -Finally. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
Oh, taxi! | 0:03:39 | 0:03:40 | |
-Taxi! -Taxi! -> | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
Hey, you going to the airport? | 0:03:47 | 0:03:48 | |
-Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:49 | |
Take mine. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:50 | |
All right. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
Great. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:53 | |
-Nice guy, huh? -Yeah. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
# Gonna get married Take your hand in mine | 0:04:03 | 0:04:07 | |
# We'll be looking fine | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
# In the sweet sunshine... # | 0:04:11 | 0:04:15 | |
You two. You're up. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
# It's gonna be | 0:04:20 | 0:04:24 | |
# All those who love us'll be there | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
# One great big happy family | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
# Yeah, we're gonna get married... # | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
-Great! -# We're gonna get married... | 0:04:32 | 0:04:36 | |
# We're gonna get married | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
# Wait and see... # | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
Oh, dear. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:42 | |
What? | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
Well, they overbooked coach. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:45 | |
HE SIGHS | 0:04:45 | 0:04:46 | |
So what does that mean, do we miss our flight or...? | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
Well...we are gonna have to upgrade you to first class. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:53 | |
Really? | 0:04:53 | 0:04:56 | |
Thank you. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:57 | |
HE GRUNTS | 0:04:57 | 0:04:58 | |
Oh. Sir, why don't you let me take that for you. | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
OK. Yeah. Here you go. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
So, er, you want to check it? Or put it on another flight? | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
Cos that's cool, whatever you want to do. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:10 | |
Just gonna store it in the captain's closet. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:13 | |
That was nice. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
Yeah. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:17 | |
Champagne? | 0:05:17 | 0:05:18 | |
Thank you. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
Champagne, sir? | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
Thank you. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:22 | |
Enjoy. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
Would you like to purchase rental insurance, Mr...Focker? | 0:05:31 | 0:05:35 | |
Um... | 0:05:35 | 0:05:36 | |
No. Thanks. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
No? | 0:05:39 | 0:05:40 | |
HE WHISPERS: It's a scam. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
That's how they make all their money. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:43 | |
That's true. You don't need it. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
Get out of here. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
-# We're gonna get married -We're gonna get | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
# We're gonna married Wait and see. # | 0:05:52 | 0:05:56 | |
The house of Byrnes. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
A lot of good memories here. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:07 | |
Mom? Dad? | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
-MOZART PIANO PIECE PLAYING -I am watching you. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
CHILD PRATTLES | 0:06:14 | 0:06:15 | |
Almost. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:16 | |
But you have to do it with two fingers, | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
one on each eye, like this. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
I am watching you. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
BABY EXCLAIMS HAPPILY | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
Oh, we'll get back to that later. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:26 | |
Guess who's here! | 0:06:26 | 0:06:27 | |
It's... | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
Professor Einstein. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
Hi, Little Jack. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:32 | |
You are a genius. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:33 | |
I see a Nobel prize in your future. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
-Yes, I do. -Study break, boys! | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
Company's here! | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
Pamcake! | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
Flapjack! | 0:06:41 | 0:06:42 | |
HE GIGGLES | 0:06:43 | 0:06:44 | |
CHANTING: Short stack, short stack, coming up! | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
Put some syrup in the cup! | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
Bup-bup, bup-bup, bup, bup, buh. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
That's how it goes, right? | 0:06:54 | 0:06:55 | |
That's OK, Greg. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:57 | |
Nice to see you. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
Yes. Nice to see you...Grandpa! | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
Yeah. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
My goodness! | 0:07:04 | 0:07:05 | |
How did my nephew | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
get so big? Look at you! | 0:07:06 | 0:07:07 | |
You look just like your mommy. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:09 | |
GREG: He does, doesn't he? | 0:07:09 | 0:07:10 | |
Hey. Hey, this is Greg. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
Remember we talked about him? | 0:07:12 | 0:07:13 | |
GREG: Hey. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:14 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:07:17 | 0:07:20 | |
Sorry, Greg. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:21 | |
The card only comes in one gender. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
Yeah, no, that's... that's all right. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
BABY FUSSES | 0:07:26 | 0:07:27 | |
He's taking you in. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:28 | |
He has a very keen sense for people, Greg. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
Hmm, a chip off the old block, huh? | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
Might have another CIA man on our hands here. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
I'd be discreet about my profession, | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
Greg, if I were you. Know what I mean? | 0:07:39 | 0:07:40 | |
As far as your parents are concerned, | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
I'm still a horticulturist. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:43 | |
Hey, why is Little Jack here? Are Deb and Bob house-sitting while we're in Florida? | 0:07:43 | 0:07:45 | |
No, they're in Cosa Mui, Thailand, | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
checking on the clinic | 0:07:47 | 0:07:48 | |
they opened during their honeymoon. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:50 | |
What is all this stuff anyway? | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
After Denny was sent away to military school, | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
your father turned this | 0:07:55 | 0:07:56 | |
into a learning labouratory for you-know-who over there. | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
And do you talk yet, Mr Munchkin Head? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
You little... | 0:08:01 | 0:08:02 | |
HIGH-PITCHED BLUBBERING | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
-Boop, boop, boop. -Greg, Greg, Greg. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
Don't infantilise him. Talk to him like an adult. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
-DINA: -Muskrat. -Huh? | 0:08:11 | 0:08:12 | |
Muskrat, Jack. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:13 | |
Oh, right. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:14 | |
Just try to understand. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
He's a little person. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:18 | |
His communication skills aren't verbal yet, | 0:08:18 | 0:08:19 | |
but he understands. Observe. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
LJ, are you hungry? | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
Oh, wow. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:26 | |
Look at that. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
"I would like to eat... | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
"more...please... | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
"then I'd like a nap, and then... | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
"later, I'll enjoy a nice poop." | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
Oh, yeah. I've heard about this - | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
this baby signing stuff. This is, like, cutting edge. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
Like, yeah. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:51 | |
Well, at his age, Greg, his mind is like a sponge. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
But when he reaches your age, for example, | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
his mind will be far less capable | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
of absorbing useful information. | 0:08:58 | 0:08:59 | |
He's so cute. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
Hey, can I hold him? | 0:09:01 | 0:09:02 | |
I don't think that's such a good idea, Greg. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
Muskrat. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
All right, all right. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:10 | |
This is Greg. Greg will not drop you. OK? | 0:09:10 | 0:09:14 | |
OK. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
Be careful. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:17 | |
Hello. Oh, hello. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
I think he likes me. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
No? | 0:09:23 | 0:09:24 | |
-Ow! -Oh! | 0:09:25 | 0:09:26 | |
-Shit! -Focker! | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
He's absorbing you like a sponge! | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
I don't want the first word | 0:09:30 | 0:09:31 | |
out of his mouth to be a profanity! | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
It's OK. It's OK. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:34 | |
Cover your nose! You're terrifying him! | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
-Dad... -I'll get a towel. -Focker! | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
It's cool that your dad is so into being a grandparent. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
Yeah, I guess. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:42 | |
I think it kind of freaks my mom out, though. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:43 | |
She says he spends every last second | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
with that kid. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:46 | |
HORN BEEPS "Puff The Magic Dragon" | 0:09:46 | 0:09:48 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:49 | |
Daddy? | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
GREG: Wow. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:54 | |
Daddy, what is this thing? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
It's a custom-designed, climate-controlled motor coach. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
Jack calls it the highlight of our twilight. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:00 | |
-Wow, this is incredible. -Isn't it? | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
Yeah. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
SOLID THUMPING | 0:10:07 | 0:10:08 | |
Like a tank. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:09 | |
Well, in these uncertain times, Greg, I opted | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
for a Kevlar-reinforced hull | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
with two-inch thick Plexiglas windows, | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
just like the ones they designed | 0:10:16 | 0:10:17 | |
on the Russian Widowmaker submarines. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
I want you to conduct a field test for us, Greg. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
I want you to demonstrate | 0:10:22 | 0:10:24 | |
the impregnable outer skin of the coach. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:26 | |
Throw it at the window. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
Oh, Jack, I 'm not going... | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
I'm not going to throw a brick at your window. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
It's a simple demonstration. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:33 | |
No, I 'd really rather not. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:34 | |
Throw the brick, Greg. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:35 | |
-OK. -Just... | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
All your might. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:38 | |
All right. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:39 | |
Don't worry. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:47 | |
Your rental insurance should take care of it. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
Jack...what? | 0:10:49 | 0:10:50 | |
Come on, we'll call a tow truck from the road. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
The road? | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
Yeah, we're driving this to Miami. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
Driving? I thought we were, er... I thought we were flying tomorrow. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
No, no. Airline travel being what it is these days - | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
so unreliable - I'll feel much more comfortable | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
knowing I have my own Posturepedic bed, | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
my own thermostat, my own lavatory facility. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:08 | |
Uh-huh. So we're all going to be in this together? | 0:11:08 | 0:11:12 | |
We hit the road in exactly | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
seven minutes, 27 seconds. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
This way, we'll get in early, spend an extra half-day | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
with your parents, getting to know them. Isn't that great? | 0:11:18 | 0:11:21 | |
That is great. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:22 | |
-ROZ ON ANSWERING MACHINE: -'Yeah, worth it for you, | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
'but I'm the one that gets the fumes.' | 0:11:24 | 0:11:25 | |
-BERNIE: -'Honey, I 'm in the mood for a chimichanga!' | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
-ROZ: -'So make a chimicha...' -BEEP | 0:11:27 | 0:11:29 | |
Hey, guys, it's me. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
Listen, I 'm getting a little worried | 0:11:31 | 0:11:32 | |
that I haven't heard back from you. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:33 | |
I hope you got the message. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:34 | |
There's been a little change of plans. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
We're going to be coming down in Jack's RV now, | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
so we'll be arriving tomorrow afternoon, not tomorrow night. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
OK? Tomorrow afternoon. | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
And also, they're bringing their little grandson. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
So, er, he's like a baby, so... I don't know. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:50 | |
Welcome aboard, me hearties. Arrgh. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
Hey, this is incredible. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:55 | |
Yeah, it's as big as our apartment. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
Pretty neat, huh? | 0:11:57 | 0:11:58 | |
MEOWING, TOILET FLUSHES | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
Hey, Mr Jinx finally | 0:12:01 | 0:12:04 | |
learned how to flush the toilet, huh? | 0:12:04 | 0:12:05 | |
-DINA: -Yeah, Jack installed a special flusher | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
and he learned how to do that in about two days, right, Jack? | 0:12:07 | 0:12:10 | |
Hey there, Jinxy. How you doing? | 0:12:10 | 0:12:12 | |
IT MEOWS | 0:12:12 | 0:12:13 | |
Ready to hit the road, co-captain? | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
Wow! | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
I'm the co-captain? | 0:12:20 | 0:12:21 | |
Let's set sail, sailor. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:23 | |
# I'm going up the country | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
-# Babe, don't you want to go? -# | 0:12:25 | 0:12:26 | |
-JACK ON PA: -Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
This is Captain Jack Byrnes speaking. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
Yay, Daddy! | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
A quick announcement. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:33 | |
As a courtesy to your fellow passengers, | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
please remember that the on-board lavatory | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
should be used for number one only. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
Should the need for number two arise, | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
we will stop at the nearest rest stop, gas station | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
or heavily wooded area. Thank you. Welcome aboard. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
I like that thing. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
Hey, you mind if I, er... | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
make a little announcement? | 0:12:49 | 0:12:50 | |
Well, only the captain gets to make an announcement, Greg. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:53 | |
Do you want to honk the horn? | 0:12:55 | 0:12:56 | |
Um...sure. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
Only the captain gets to honk the horn. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:01 | |
# I'm gonna leave the city | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
# Got to get away | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
# All this fussing and fighting... # | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
Oh, look! | 0:13:09 | 0:13:10 | |
GREG: Hey, Jinxy, see that? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
# Now baby, pack your leaving trunk | 0:13:13 | 0:13:14 | |
# You know we've got to leave today | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
# Just exactly where we're... # | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
-PAM: -LJ, are you hungry? Do you want some milk? | 0:13:18 | 0:13:19 | |
# We might even leave the USA... # | 0:13:19 | 0:13:22 | |
HORN TOOTS Hey, Jack. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
Oh, she wants you to honk the horn. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
Not interested. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:29 | |
Rules of the road - she honks, you honk. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:33 | |
Come on, Jack, give her a honk. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
HORN HONKS "Puff The Magic Dragon" There you go. Whoo, yeah. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
Hey! Looks like a team or something. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:41 | |
"Honk if you're horny." | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
ALL GIGGLING AND CHEERING | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
Oh... | 0:13:49 | 0:13:50 | |
Thanks for that, Greg. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:51 | |
-ROZ: -'For you, but I'm the one the gets the fumes. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
'But, honey, I'm in the mood | 0:14:01 | 0:14:02 | |
'for a chimichanga. | 0:14:02 | 0:14:03 | |
-'So make a chimichang...' -PHONE BEEPS | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Hey, there. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
No hard feelings, all right? | 0:14:11 | 0:14:14 | |
Friends? | 0:14:14 | 0:14:15 | |
COOING | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
What's that? | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
What are you saying? | 0:14:18 | 0:14:19 | |
Oh, wait a minute. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:20 | |
What does this mean? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:21 | |
I know what this means. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:22 | |
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Oh, poop. You got to poop, right? | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
OK, good. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:27 | |
Thank you for warning me. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:28 | |
BABY CRIES Everybody poops. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:29 | |
Sometimes it hurts. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:30 | |
It's OK, just let it... | 0:14:30 | 0:14:31 | |
Let it come out. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:33 | |
What'd you do, Focker? | 0:14:33 | 0:14:34 | |
Nothing. I think he has to poop. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
That's not the sign | 0:14:36 | 0:14:37 | |
for poop, that's the sign for milk. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:38 | |
This is the sign for poop. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
Well, then what's the sign for sour milk, | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
cos, er, this tastes a little funky. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
That's because that's from Debbie's left breast, Greg. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
LAUGHING | 0:14:48 | 0:14:48 | |
Ew. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
Fortunately she pumped for a week | 0:14:50 | 0:14:52 | |
to give us enough for the trip. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:54 | |
OK... | 0:14:54 | 0:14:55 | |
snack pack for Little Jack. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:57 | |
GREG: What are you doing there? | 0:14:57 | 0:14:59 | |
Well, during the breast- feeding stage, Greg, | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
infants can get very confused and upset | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
when they're separated from their mothers. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:05 | |
So I invented something | 0:15:05 | 0:15:06 | |
to ease LJ's anxiety | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
during chow time. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:09 | |
I call it the mannary gland. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:13 | |
I had it made from an exact cast of Debbie's left bosom. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:17 | |
Oh, yeah, OK. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:22 | |
It's been so effective, I 'm thinking of getting it patented. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
Would you like to touch it? | 0:15:25 | 0:15:26 | |
Uh, I wouldn't. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
Oh, come on, feel how soft it is. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:29 | |
I can see how soft it is from here. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
No, feel it, Greg. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:32 | |
It looks very...yeah. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:33 | |
Just feel the breast, Greg. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:34 | |
Just, er... | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
Oh, watch the nipple. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:40 | |
Just around here. The nipple is his. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
Oh, yeah. Yeah. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:46 | |
It's got a great, lifelike kind of... | 0:15:46 | 0:15:50 | |
or what I would imagine Debbie's breast might, | 0:15:50 | 0:15:52 | |
might actually feel like, not that I would know. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
-PAM: -Greg? | 0:16:00 | 0:16:01 | |
What? | 0:16:01 | 0:16:04 | |
Honey, you promised you wouldn't | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
take the boob out in front of company. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
Nothing to be ashamed of. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
Breast-feeding is perfectly natural. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
Dad, that's not natural. That's just weird. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
As soon as Little Jack's topped off, | 0:16:15 | 0:16:17 | |
we're gonna hit the road. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
HE GROANS | 0:16:19 | 0:16:20 | |
Oh, Jack, you can't drive anymore tonight. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
Dr Monroe said | 0:16:23 | 0:16:24 | |
no aggravating your sciatica. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:26 | |
Honey, we're on a very precise schedule. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
We bunk here tonight, | 0:16:28 | 0:16:29 | |
we hit horrendous traffic in the morning. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
Greg? | 0:16:32 | 0:16:34 | |
Yeah? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:35 | |
Maybe you can drive the night shift. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:37 | |
I could do that. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
I am the co-captain, so I think | 0:16:39 | 0:16:41 | |
-that falls under my responsibilities, right? -Yeah! | 0:16:41 | 0:16:43 | |
Keep her at 55. Stay alert. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:46 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been wanting to get behind | 0:16:46 | 0:16:47 | |
the wheel of this big boy. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
CARS AND TRUCKS HONK INSISTENTLY | 0:16:49 | 0:16:52 | |
I got it. Pass. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:57 | |
HONKING | 0:16:57 | 0:16:58 | |
Sorry, got to go 55. Captain Jack's orders. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:03 | |
Hmm... | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
Oh. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:15 | |
Hey. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
Would you like some company, Greg? | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
Uh, yeah, sure, if you can't sleep. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:24 | |
Go on, have a seat. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:26 | |
REMOTE BEEPS | 0:17:27 | 0:17:28 | |
How 'bout a cappuccino? | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
Oh, you don't have to do that. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
It's no problem for me. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:40 | |
Really? | 0:17:40 | 0:17:41 | |
-Yeah? -OK. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:42 | |
Dina! Wake up and make Greg a cappuccino! | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
Shake a leg, woman! | 0:17:46 | 0:17:47 | |
Jesus, Jack, you know what? I'm not that tired, really. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:51 | |
Relax, Greg. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
This cockpit's completely soundproof. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
You should have seen the look on your face. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
Oh, OK. You got me. That was a good one. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
Yes, it was. Yes. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
That was funny. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
But you should never talk to a woman like that. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
You know that, Greg. It's disrespectful. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:09 | |
Right. Of course. Yeah. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
Greg, a man reaches an age | 0:18:11 | 0:18:13 | |
when he realises what's truly important. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:15 | |
Mm-hmm. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:17 | |
And you know what that is? | 0:18:17 | 0:18:18 | |
Love? | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
Friendship? | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
Enjoying the moment? | 0:18:23 | 0:18:24 | |
Living? Just...love. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:27 | |
His legacy. | 0:18:27 | 0:18:29 | |
That, too. Right, yeah. Sure. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
Now, my grandson, Little Jack, is part of that legacy. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
In six months, you and Pam | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
are going to be married | 0:18:36 | 0:18:37 | |
and sometime after that, you'll want to start a family of your own. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
Right, yeah, actually, you know what? | 0:18:39 | 0:18:40 | |
On that subject, I've had some thoughts | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
about the wedding date. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:43 | |
We'll discuss that after this weekend, Greg. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
Now let's get back on point. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:46 | |
Let me put it very simply. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
If your family circle does indeed | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
join my family circle, | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
they'll form a chain. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
I can't have a chink in my chain. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
Mm... | 0:18:56 | 0:18:57 | |
Yeah, OK. I get the metaphor. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
Now, I 've never met your parents, | 0:18:59 | 0:19:01 | |
so I'm not going to jump | 0:19:01 | 0:19:02 | |
to any hasty conclusions. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:04 | |
But, like studying a frozen caveman, | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
if I can see where you came from, | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
I'll have a much better idea of where you're going. | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
OK. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:12 | |
Are you thinking maybe | 0:19:12 | 0:19:13 | |
my parents might be, like, a chink in the chain, or...? | 0:19:13 | 0:19:17 | |
A doctor and a lawyer. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:18 | |
What's there to worry about? | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
Mm-hmm. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:21 | |
BIRDS CAWING | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
GRUNTING | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
-DINA: -Ooh, it seems very nice. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
GRUNTING | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
Is that your father? | 0:19:51 | 0:19:54 | |
Hoo, hah... | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
That is my father. | 0:19:58 | 0:19:59 | |
Hmm...mm... | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
Hah...ooh... hah, hoo, ah... | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
Hey, Gaylord! | 0:20:09 | 0:20:10 | |
What the heck is that contraption? | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
I thought you guys were flying in tonight. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:13 | |
I left you a message. I said we were driving down. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
Oh, I didn't get a message. You didn't leave a message. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
What are you talking about? I left you, like, five messages. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:18 | |
Will you get over here and plant one on me? We gonna talk about messages? | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
I've been waiting so long to see my best buddy! | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
-Good to see you. -Come here! Come here! | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
-OK. -Oh, I missed your smell. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
All right, all right. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:29 | |
Is this not the most handsome young man | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
you've ever seen in your life? | 0:20:31 | 0:20:32 | |
I used to call him a young Jewish Marlon Brando. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:34 | |
Oh! | 0:20:34 | 0:20:36 | |
Can you believe I conceived him with one testicle? | 0:20:36 | 0:20:39 | |
No, really. It's true. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:42 | |
I only have one because the other never dropped. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
It's called an undescending testicle. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:46 | |
It's not uncommon. But look at him. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
Imagine what he would have looked like if I had two. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
-That's a good icebreaker, Dad. -Whoa! | 0:20:55 | 0:20:57 | |
-Whoa! -There's the sexiest | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
second grade teacher I've ever seen in my life. | 0:20:59 | 0:21:01 | |
-BLOWS RASPBERRY ON NECK -Oh, that was a good one! | 0:21:01 | 0:21:03 | |
It gets her every time. Goose bumps. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:06 | |
She loves it. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:07 | |
I'm Dina Byrnes. It's so nice to meet you. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
Oh, ze pleasure is all mine, ma cherie. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:12 | |
Whoo! | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
You got to be the flower man. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
That's right. Jack Byrnes, Pam's father. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
-MIMICKING STOIC TONE: -And I'm Bernard Focker, Gaylord's father. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:20 | |
And we're all grown-ups here and we shake hands like men. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
All right, Dad. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
Oh, we're just playing here. Give me some love. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
We're family now. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:33 | |
What are you so shy about? | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
Come here. Mwah! Mwah! | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
Oh, wow. Whoo! Look at those pecs. Wow. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
You're harder than sheet rock. Now tell me the truth - | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
now you gotta work out with weights, right? | 0:21:43 | 0:21:44 | |
Well, I do various calisthenics | 0:21:44 | 0:21:46 | |
and medicine ball training | 0:21:46 | 0:21:48 | |
and I play bi-monthly football. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:49 | |
Oh, footie- footie-football. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
I was just practicing my Capoeira. What? | 0:21:51 | 0:21:54 | |
Oh, Capoeira, yeah. The Brazilian martial art of dance-fighting, yes. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
He knows what that is. Yeah. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
You know, I 've been doing it for weeks. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
Really into it. Keeps me level. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
Because sometimes I get wound up so tight, | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
I could just snap. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:08 | |
-You know what I mean? -BABY CRIES | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 | |
What is that? What is that? | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
-Is that a baby on board? -That's a baby, yes. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:14 | |
Yeah, mm-hmm. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:15 | |
It's all in the message. | 0:22:15 | 0:22:17 | |
DOG YIPS | 0:22:17 | 0:22:18 | |
Hey, Moses. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:19 | |
Go ahead, say hello to your future in-laws. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
-Hey! -No, no, he's harmless. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:23 | |
Yeah, and fixed. Moses! | 0:22:23 | 0:22:25 | |
-It's all right, he's... -Shake him. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:26 | |
Just shake him off. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:27 | |
No, don't shake. He likes the shaking. Moses, get off! | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
Don't worry, the pink part didn't get on you. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
Moses, get. Go. Get in your basket! Go! | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
He's all talk. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:35 | |
Who's this little guy? | 0:22:35 | 0:22:36 | |
This is our grandson, Little Jack. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
A widdle baby! | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
HE SINGS AND GIBBERS | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
How are you, widdle Jack? | 0:22:42 | 0:22:43 | |
Hey, Dad, don't infantilise him. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:46 | |
Just talk to him like a person. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:47 | |
What are you talking about? He's a baby. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
I want to talk to him like he's a baby. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
GOOFY GIBBERING | 0:22:51 | 0:22:52 | |
BABY CRIES | 0:22:52 | 0:22:54 | |
He likes me! | 0:22:55 | 0:22:57 | |
When Roz's dad died, I said, "Hey, | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
"we're freezing our tushies off here in Detroit. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:01 | |
"You know, let's head south | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
"and get some year- round fun in the sun." | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
-Ooh! -Wow... | 0:23:05 | 0:23:06 | |
This house is over a hundred years old, so... | 0:23:06 | 0:23:07 | |
-Dad... -Yes. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:08 | |
Continue the tour - I'm gonna tell Mom we're here, OK? | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
Oh, the upstairs bathroom is on el fritzo, | 0:23:10 | 0:23:12 | |
so we're all gonna have to share this one | 0:23:12 | 0:23:13 | |
for now, and since there's a water scarcity on the island, | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
we kind of abide by the, | 0:23:16 | 0:23:17 | |
"If it's yellow, let it mellow; | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
"if it's brown, flush it down" policy. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:21 | |
Whoops, forgot my own rule. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
TOILET FLUSHES | 0:23:27 | 0:23:28 | |
The RV's paying for itself already. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
-MUSIC PLAYS -All right, kids... | 0:23:31 | 0:23:32 | |
forward and backward. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:35 | |
Rotate those hips. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
Let's get your kundalini rising. | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
And now it's time for the ladies | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
to get into the "reverse cowgirl" position. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
Guys, you have to lie across the liberator pad like so. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
Everyone look at how Ira's doing it. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:50 | |
Bingo, bango, bongo. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
The man is loose, he's limber and he's ready for action. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
So climb aboard, girls, | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
and let me hear your bodies talk. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
Whoa! | 0:23:58 | 0:23:59 | |
Yes, this position is terrific | 0:23:59 | 0:24:02 | |
for anyone with osteoporosis, gout or goiter. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
Stay with me, kids, we're almost done. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:06 | |
Ah! Honey! | 0:24:07 | 0:24:09 | |
Oh, all right, guys. We have to wrap it up. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:12 | |
Everyone, remember to take | 0:24:12 | 0:24:13 | |
your liberator pads, and don't forget | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
to stretch before you try this at home. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:17 | |
We don't want anyone | 0:24:17 | 0:24:18 | |
shattering a pelvis. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
Hello, my precious! | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
Oh, I love you so much. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:23 | |
I haven't seen my bubeleh in months. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:26 | |
Honey, you feel thin. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:27 | |
-No, no. -You're not eating. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:28 | |
-What's the matter? -No, I 'm fine. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:29 | |
Mom, how are we going to explain all these people to the Byrneses? | 0:24:29 | 0:24:31 | |
Oh, honey, they're leaving. | 0:24:31 | 0:24:32 | |
The Byrneses won't know they were here. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
OK, it's just we agreed to be discreet | 0:24:34 | 0:24:35 | |
about you being a sex therapist this weekend, | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
at least until you get to know Jack and Dina a little better, right? | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
Don't worry, I 'll be discreet. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:40 | |
I put all my toys away and my office is all ready for them | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
to sleep in. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:44 | |
No. Your office?! No. No, no. We're putting them upstairs. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:45 | |
No, your father thought they'd be more comfortable down here. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:47 | |
The upstairs plumbing, you don't want to know. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
Talk to me about something important, honey. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
How are things with you and Pam? | 0:24:51 | 0:24:52 | |
-They're great. Yeah. -They're great? | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
Because, you know, after two years, | 0:24:54 | 0:24:55 | |
you have to work to keep things going. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:57 | |
Does she still climax regularly? | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
Mom, you can't talk that way this weekend, OK? | 0:24:59 | 0:25:01 | |
Honey, I 'm just saying. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
I didn't raise you to be a so-so lover. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:04 | |
I know. What is he doing? | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
What? Don't worry about that. | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
Mom, Mom, you got to get these people out of here now. | 0:25:08 | 0:25:11 | |
-OK. OK. OK. -Wipe that little gloss off you. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:14 | |
OK. Mwah mwah mwah! | 0:25:14 | 0:25:16 | |
-BERNIE: -No, they converted it, I'm serious. | 0:25:16 | 0:25:18 | |
-You hunt dear, Bernard? -What? No. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:19 | |
I hate that thing. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:20 | |
Roz's father gave it to us. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:21 | |
He was into all that macho-wacho crap. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:25 | |
Oh, so's Greg. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
He and I went duck hunting together, didn't we, Greg? | 0:25:26 | 0:25:27 | |
-Hmm? -Duck hunting - me and you? | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
Duck hunting, yeah. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:30 | |
What? Gay. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
Yeah? | 0:25:32 | 0:25:32 | |
You went duck hunting with Jack? | 0:25:32 | 0:25:34 | |
Um, yeah, we went, | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
we did, we went on a little hunting trip. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:37 | |
You shot a duck. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:39 | |
I shot at a duck, and, mm-hmm. | 0:25:39 | 0:25:41 | |
You killed an innocent creature of the sky? | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
I don't... Did I? | 0:25:44 | 0:25:45 | |
I think I might have clipped it, or... | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
I never really checked. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:49 | |
Oh, lord. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:17 | |
And now... | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
for the piece de resistance. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
-PAM: -Wow! | 0:26:22 | 0:26:23 | |
DINA: Oh, my goodness. | 0:26:23 | 0:26:25 | |
A little something I've been working on. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
Oh, I see. Oh. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:28 | |
Mom will be in in a sec. What's that? | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
It's you! It's the wall of Gaylord. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
The wall of...Gaylord? | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
Isn't it nice to finally | 0:26:37 | 0:26:38 | |
display your accomplishments, son? | 0:26:38 | 0:26:40 | |
Yeah. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:41 | |
Honey, look at all your awards. That's great. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
Mm. He's my champion. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:44 | |
Oh, I didn't know they made ninth-place ribbons. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
Oh, Jack, they got them all the way up to 10th place. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
GREG: Hey, anybody want to get a drink out by the lagoon? | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
This one looks impressive. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
"Mazel tov, Gaylord M Focker, | 0:26:53 | 0:26:55 | |
"World's greatest nurse." | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:26:57 | 0:26:58 | |
Very nice. | 0:26:58 | 0:26:59 | |
We have always tried to instill a sense of self in Gaylord... | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
(Be nice!) | 0:27:02 | 0:27:03 | |
..without being too goal-oriented. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:04 | |
Not about winning or losing. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:06 | |
It's about passion. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:07 | |
GREG SIGHS | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
We just wanted him to love what he's doing. | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
You know what I mean, Jack? | 0:27:12 | 0:27:13 | |
-JACK: -Not really, Bernard. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:14 | |
I think a competitive drive is the essential key | 0:27:14 | 0:27:16 | |
that makes America the only remaining superpower in the world today. | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
Well, whatever works. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:21 | |
Mm-hmm. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:23 | |
-< ROZ: -All right, gang, don't forget the positions. | 0:27:23 | 0:27:24 | |
Bye, Dr Roz. You're a life-saver. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
-ROZ: -Oh, thank you, BJ. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:27 | |
Goodbye, Sidelle. Ira, remember, easy on the thrusting. | 0:27:27 | 0:27:30 | |
You're not 78 anymore. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:31 | |
< Bingo, bango, bongo. DINA LAUGHS | 0:27:31 | 0:27:33 | |
Oh, what-what kind of work does your mother do with those patients, Greg? | 0:27:33 | 0:27:35 | |
DINA: Those look like yoga mats. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:37 | |
Is there yoga involved? | 0:27:37 | 0:27:38 | |
It's yoga-esque. | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
It's sort of, um, a-a... | 0:27:40 | 0:27:41 | |
a-a couples therapy. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:43 | |
Kind of mind/body. It's kind of her own, sort of... It's... | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
-BERNIE: -Rozala! Sweetheart! Living room! | 0:27:46 | 0:27:49 | |
Hello! Hello, hello! | 0:27:49 | 0:27:51 | |
-Hi! -How are you, baby girl? | 0:27:51 | 0:27:54 | |
-Oh, my God. -Hi, Roz. | 0:27:54 | 0:27:55 | |
-Oh, my God, look at you. You're glowing! -Oh, thank you! | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
Hi. I'm Roz Focker. | 0:27:57 | 0:28:00 | |
-You must be Jack. -I am. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:01 | |
And you must be Dina. | 0:28:01 | 0:28:02 | |
-Oh, hi. -Hello. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:03 | |
I-I just can't believe | 0:28:03 | 0:28:04 | |
it's taken us this long to meet, huh? | 0:28:04 | 0:28:06 | |
HE COOS | 0:28:06 | 0:28:07 | |
And who's this little hair ball? | 0:28:07 | 0:28:09 | |
-BERNIE: -Oh, they brought their little grandson Baby Jack along. | 0:28:09 | 0:28:10 | |
He's so adorable. | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
I could eat him up! | 0:28:12 | 0:28:13 | |
Oh, Bern, did you show them where they're sleeping? | 0:28:13 | 0:28:15 | |
Right, right, right. | 0:28:15 | 0:28:16 | |
Because we don't have any air conditioning, | 0:28:16 | 0:28:18 | |
I made up a nice spot for you in Roz's office, | 0:28:18 | 0:28:21 | |
cos it gets the best breeze, | 0:28:21 | 0:28:22 | |
and it's very near the communal commode. | 0:28:22 | 0:28:23 | |
Oh, well, well, you know, actually, | 0:28:23 | 0:28:25 | |
we are gonna stay in our motor home. It's... | 0:28:25 | 0:28:27 | |
In the trailer? Come on, Jack. | 0:28:27 | 0:28:28 | |
We...we're family. We sleep under the same roof. Traitor. | 0:28:28 | 0:28:32 | |
Mom's office is kind of cluttered, so that-that that works out all right. | 0:28:32 | 0:28:34 | |
-It's really easier with Little Jack. -It's not right. | 0:28:34 | 0:28:36 | |
No, no, really we insist. | 0:28:36 | 0:28:38 | |
-Well, if you don't mind... -Bern, if they want to sleep in a trailer, | 0:28:38 | 0:28:39 | |
let them sleep in a trailer. | 0:28:39 | 0:28:41 | |
Right. Well, Mom, it's not actually... | 0:28:41 | 0:28:42 | |
It's not a trailer. It's kind of like... | 0:28:42 | 0:28:43 | |
It's like a... like a hotel on wheels. | 0:28:43 | 0:28:44 | |
-I mean, it's incredible. -But this is practically is a hotel, | 0:28:44 | 0:28:46 | |
because I was gonna do a whole turndown service with little chocolates under the pillow. | 0:28:46 | 0:28:49 | |
Honey, I know, but it's their choice. Wherever you feel most comfortable is fine. | 0:28:49 | 0:28:51 | |
-BERN: -It's not right. | 0:28:51 | 0:28:52 | |
-ROZ: -Bern, let it go. -Let it go? Fine. | 0:28:52 | 0:28:55 | |
-Yes. -Yeah, let it go. | 0:28:55 | 0:28:56 | |
-Let it go. -What, are you sulking now? | 0:28:56 | 0:28:58 | |
Look at this - I married a teenager. | 0:28:58 | 0:28:59 | |
-Right? -Yeah. | 0:28:59 | 0:29:00 | |
At least you have the libido of a teenager. | 0:29:00 | 0:29:02 | |
I gave her a little matinee today. | 0:29:02 | 0:29:03 | |
-GASPING: -Oh! Don't you dare! Stop it! | 0:29:03 | 0:29:05 | |
BERNIE AND ROZ LAUGH | 0:29:05 | 0:29:06 | |
How about a double feature? | 0:29:06 | 0:29:08 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:29:08 | 0:29:09 | |
-Come on, come on. -Everything is so... | 0:29:09 | 0:29:11 | |
Lagoon! Why don't we go show them the lagoon? | 0:29:11 | 0:29:13 | |
The lagoon. Come see the lagoon. | 0:29:13 | 0:29:14 | |
The lagoon, Jack. Come on, come on, come on. | 0:29:14 | 0:29:16 | |
I'd like to see the lagoon. | 0:29:16 | 0:29:17 | |
We'll get drunk, we'll take a piss in the lagoon! | 0:29:17 | 0:29:18 | |
JACK CHUCKLES | 0:29:18 | 0:29:20 | |
GREG GROANS Oh, God. | 0:29:31 | 0:29:32 | |
GREG: Hey, Dad. | 0:29:33 | 0:29:35 | |
-It's going good so far, right? -Dad, | 0:29:35 | 0:29:36 | |
you got to take down that weird shrine thing. | 0:29:36 | 0:29:38 | |
Well, I 'm very proud of you, Gaylord. | 0:29:38 | 0:29:40 | |
What's wrong with showing it? | 0:29:40 | 0:29:41 | |
It's ridiculous! | 0:29:41 | 0:29:42 | |
Most people aren't proud of sixth-place ribbons. | 0:29:42 | 0:29:44 | |
Most people? Since when you do care about most people? | 0:29:44 | 0:29:47 | |
I don't, but J-Jack is really into winning | 0:29:47 | 0:29:50 | |
and competition and sports. | 0:29:50 | 0:29:52 | |
It's a whole other thing with him. | 0:29:52 | 0:29:53 | |
Hey, hey, you're a winner | 0:29:53 | 0:29:55 | |
up here and in here, and that's all that matters. | 0:29:55 | 0:29:58 | |
OK. Thank you. | 0:29:58 | 0:29:59 | |
I don't know what that means, but thank you. | 0:29:59 | 0:30:01 | |
So to solve that problem, | 0:30:01 | 0:30:03 | |
I created a lifelike latex left breast | 0:30:03 | 0:30:06 | |
moulded from his mother's actual left breast, | 0:30:06 | 0:30:08 | |
so this way, LJ would avoid any nipple confusion. | 0:30:08 | 0:30:11 | |
You're avoiding confusion by strapping a boob on a man? | 0:30:11 | 0:30:15 | |
Well, yeah. Believe it or not, it is less confusing | 0:30:15 | 0:30:17 | |
-because of the texture of the... -Mom. | 0:30:17 | 0:30:19 | |
..breast itself... | 0:30:19 | 0:30:21 | |
Uh, I guess it's very, um...creative. | 0:30:21 | 0:30:25 | |
It's very creative. | 0:30:25 | 0:30:26 | |
BERNIE SINGS FANFARE OFF-KEY | 0:30:26 | 0:30:28 | |
# A little birdie told me that one of our guests here | 0:30:28 | 0:30:32 | |
# Is a Tom Collins man! # | 0:30:32 | 0:30:35 | |
HE IMITATES ROARING ENGINE | 0:30:35 | 0:30:36 | |
Oh, for pity's sake! | 0:30:36 | 0:30:37 | |
-Isn't that nice, Jack? -Everybody... | 0:30:37 | 0:30:38 | |
That is nice. Thank you. | 0:30:38 | 0:30:40 | |
All right. Wait. Don't drink! | 0:30:40 | 0:30:42 | |
I want to make a toast. | 0:30:42 | 0:30:43 | |
Now, I had a vasectomy in 1974. | 0:30:45 | 0:30:48 | |
-'73, honey. -You're right, '73. | 0:30:48 | 0:30:51 | |
So, unfortunately, I never had a chance to procreate a daughter. | 0:30:51 | 0:30:53 | |
But had I been able to, | 0:30:53 | 0:30:55 | |
I really would have wanted... | 0:30:55 | 0:30:57 | |
a girl as sensitive and as intelligent | 0:30:57 | 0:30:59 | |
and as beautiful as this young lady | 0:30:59 | 0:31:03 | |
sitting right here before us. | 0:31:03 | 0:31:05 | |
-Thank you, Bernie. -And if I might add, | 0:31:05 | 0:31:07 | |
-she's not an accident. -Greg, quick. | 0:31:07 | 0:31:09 | |
Yeah. | 0:31:09 | 0:31:10 | |
-I thought you had a sister. -Nope. No sister. | 0:31:10 | 0:31:14 | |
You said you had a sister. | 0:31:14 | 0:31:15 | |
You said you milked your sister's cat. | 0:31:15 | 0:31:17 | |
-BERNIE: -OK, I 'm not done yet. What I'm trying to say is, | 0:31:22 | 0:31:26 | |
it's taken far too long to do this, you know, | 0:31:26 | 0:31:29 | |
but we're finally all together. | 0:31:29 | 0:31:31 | |
PAM: Aw... | 0:31:31 | 0:31:32 | |
-ROZ: -That's nice, honey. | 0:31:32 | 0:31:33 | |
Oh, thank you. | 0:31:33 | 0:31:35 | |
-BERNIE: -All right, that's enough. | 0:31:36 | 0:31:38 | |
-L'chaim, everyone! -ALL: L'chaim! JACK: -Lahaim! | 0:31:38 | 0:31:41 | |
La-ch-ch... | 0:31:41 | 0:31:42 | |
Like you have popcorn stuck in the throat. It's a "chuh"... | 0:31:42 | 0:31:45 | |
OK, to family. | 0:31:45 | 0:31:46 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:31:46 | 0:31:48 | |
-BERNIE: -Oh, I forgot. I want to say | 0:31:49 | 0:31:51 | |
one more thing about my vasectomy. | 0:31:51 | 0:31:53 | |
-ROZ: -No. Sit down. No, no. -BERNIE: -One tesi... What? | 0:31:53 | 0:31:54 | |
-ROZ: -Honey, get yourself over here, huh? | 0:31:54 | 0:31:56 | |
I went overboard? | 0:31:56 | 0:31:57 | |
-A little bit, honey, but it's OK. -No, no, it's just because... | 0:31:57 | 0:31:59 | |
You're so cute, they forgive you anything. | 0:31:59 | 0:32:01 | |
-BERNIE: -God, you're so beautiful. You are the sexiest woman alive. | 0:32:01 | 0:32:05 | |
I mean it. | 0:32:05 | 0:32:06 | |
-ROZ: -You're just trying to get me back into bed. | 0:32:06 | 0:32:09 | |
-BERNIE: -Or the hammock. | 0:32:09 | 0:32:10 | |
-HE CLEARS THROAT -Bernard, this is a delicious Tom Collins. | 0:32:10 | 0:32:13 | |
What I did is, I used real lemon juice. | 0:32:13 | 0:32:15 | |
It's from our trees here. That's the secret. | 0:32:15 | 0:32:17 | |
He was squeezing all afternoon. | 0:32:17 | 0:32:18 | |
Yes, and, Jack, I managed to make some lemon juice, too, | 0:32:18 | 0:32:21 | |
-if you know what I... -BERNIE AND ROZ LAUGH | 0:32:21 | 0:32:24 | |
-Oh! -Oh! | 0:32:24 | 0:32:25 | |
-BERNIE: -Gay, you all right? | 0:32:25 | 0:32:26 | |
Greg, are you OK, honey? Are you sure? | 0:32:26 | 0:32:28 | |
DUCKS QUACK, CRICKETS CHIRRUP | 0:32:28 | 0:32:30 | |
DINA: Well, I think that Roz and Bernie seem like very nice people. | 0:32:34 | 0:32:39 | |
Oh, very nice people. | 0:32:39 | 0:32:41 | |
A little off-colour, but very nice. | 0:32:41 | 0:32:43 | |
Oh, but isn't it wonderful, Jack, | 0:32:43 | 0:32:45 | |
after all this build-up, | 0:32:45 | 0:32:46 | |
the kids are finally getting married?! I feel so happy. | 0:32:46 | 0:32:49 | |
-LJ COOS -Wait a second. I think he just spoke. | 0:32:49 | 0:32:52 | |
Little Jack, were you about to speak? | 0:32:52 | 0:32:54 | |
HE BREAKS WIND | 0:32:54 | 0:32:55 | |
No, just a little flatulence. What were you saying, honey? | 0:32:57 | 0:32:59 | |
Nothing, dear. | 0:32:59 | 0:33:01 | |
Guys. | 0:33:03 | 0:33:04 | |
-What? -Where you going? | 0:33:04 | 0:33:06 | |
We're checking out Jack's macho-wacho trailer. | 0:33:06 | 0:33:08 | |
Yeah. I want to see that boob. | 0:33:08 | 0:33:10 | |
Hey, sweetie, can I talk to you for a second? | 0:33:10 | 0:33:12 | |
Yeah. Hey, listen, don't let Moses | 0:33:12 | 0:33:13 | |
go in there. They have a cat. | 0:33:13 | 0:33:14 | |
-Moses is perfectly trained. -What boob? | 0:33:14 | 0:33:17 | |
Dad, he humps everything that moves. | 0:33:17 | 0:33:18 | |
-He's like his father. -I never cheated on you! | 0:33:18 | 0:33:20 | |
They're not listening. | 0:33:20 | 0:33:22 | |
What's up? | 0:33:25 | 0:33:26 | |
They seem to be getting along really well, don't you think? | 0:33:26 | 0:33:28 | |
-Yeah, they do. -Yeah. | 0:33:28 | 0:33:29 | |
I know, I kind of feel bad that I worried so much. | 0:33:29 | 0:33:31 | |
Yeah. OK. | 0:33:31 | 0:33:33 | |
What's going on? | 0:33:33 | 0:33:34 | |
I'm pregnant. | 0:33:35 | 0:33:36 | |
-You're pregnant? -Mm-hmm. | 0:33:36 | 0:33:38 | |
I'm two weeks late, I'm nauseous, | 0:33:38 | 0:33:41 | |
my boobs hurt and I can smell everything. | 0:33:41 | 0:33:43 | |
-You're going to have a baby! -Yeah! | 0:33:43 | 0:33:44 | |
-A baby. Yeah. -We're going to have a little baby. | 0:33:44 | 0:33:47 | |
I'm pregnant. | 0:33:47 | 0:33:48 | |
I j... I... | 0:33:48 | 0:33:50 | |
SHE GIGGLES | 0:33:50 | 0:33:52 | |
Yeah. | 0:33:53 | 0:33:54 | |
Oh, shit. | 0:33:56 | 0:33:58 | |
You realise your father's going to kill me. | 0:33:59 | 0:34:01 | |
No, no, no, no. | 0:34:01 | 0:34:03 | |
He's not going to find out, | 0:34:03 | 0:34:05 | |
because we're not going to tell him. | 0:34:05 | 0:34:06 | |
No, no, no, no, no. | 0:34:06 | 0:34:07 | |
Come on, he's a human lie detector. | 0:34:07 | 0:34:09 | |
He lives to sniff out stuff like this. | 0:34:09 | 0:34:10 | |
We will get through this weekend, we'll get through tomorrow, | 0:34:10 | 0:34:12 | |
and we'll tell them on Sunday before we go. | 0:34:12 | 0:34:14 | |
OK, we'll tell them all. | 0:34:14 | 0:34:16 | |
I just hate the idea of keeping secrets from your dad. | 0:34:16 | 0:34:18 | |
It's just one little secret. | 0:34:18 | 0:34:20 | |
Oh! hi, neighbours. | 0:34:21 | 0:34:22 | |
Hello. | 0:34:22 | 0:34:23 | |
The Fockers, honey. | 0:34:23 | 0:34:25 | |
Hello! Fancy-schmancy! | 0:34:25 | 0:34:27 | |
Welcome to the chateau. | 0:34:27 | 0:34:28 | |
No wonder they don't want to sleep in our shitbox. | 0:34:28 | 0:34:30 | |
Look at this place. | 0:34:30 | 0:34:31 | |
-Whoa. -DOG YIPS | 0:34:31 | 0:34:32 | |
I don't think the dog is such a good idea. | 0:34:32 | 0:34:34 | |
Don't worry, Moses is more of a lover than a fighter. | 0:34:34 | 0:34:36 | |
-JINX SCREECHES -Jinx! | 0:34:36 | 0:34:37 | |
-Moses! -He's always dreamed of me having a white wedding. | 0:34:38 | 0:34:41 | |
You don't know how upset he's going to be. | 0:34:41 | 0:34:42 | |
No, I do know. | 0:34:42 | 0:34:43 | |
-Moses! -Oh, no! | 0:34:43 | 0:34:46 | |
-Moses! -Jinxy! | 0:34:46 | 0:34:47 | |
-Poopsie! -No! | 0:34:47 | 0:34:48 | |
I told you to keep him out of the RV. | 0:34:48 | 0:34:49 | |
He said he wanted to see the RV. | 0:34:49 | 0:34:51 | |
-Dad! -Moses! Moses! | 0:34:51 | 0:34:53 | |
Get that goddamn dog out of here! | 0:34:53 | 0:34:54 | |
Mo...! | 0:34:58 | 0:34:59 | |
-MR JINX PURRS -Oh, God. | 0:34:59 | 0:35:01 | |
MOSES WHIMPERS GREG: Dad! | 0:35:01 | 0:35:03 | |
-BERNIE: -Oh. -GREG: Jinx... Jinx, don't do it. | 0:35:04 | 0:35:06 | |
-Jinxy, no. -Jinx, don't do it. | 0:35:06 | 0:35:08 | |
-No! -No! -MOSES WHIMPERS | 0:35:08 | 0:35:10 | |
Jesus! Moses! Hold on! | 0:35:10 | 0:35:13 | |
Moses, hold on! I'm going to save you! | 0:35:17 | 0:35:18 | |
The cat can flush? | 0:35:18 | 0:35:20 | |
Oh, my God! Moses! | 0:35:20 | 0:35:22 | |
-Out of the way! -It's OK, baby. | 0:35:22 | 0:35:23 | |
Get out of the way! | 0:35:23 | 0:35:25 | |
Hey, what the hell are you doing?! | 0:35:25 | 0:35:26 | |
-I got to get my dog! -Forget your dog. What about my toilet? | 0:35:26 | 0:35:29 | |
Moses! | 0:35:30 | 0:35:31 | |
-BERNIE: -Oh! oh! | 0:35:33 | 0:35:35 | |
Greg, grab the baby. Grab the baby. | 0:35:35 | 0:35:37 | |
BABY SQUEALS | 0:35:37 | 0:35:39 | |
BABY CRIES | 0:35:39 | 0:35:42 | |
-BERNIE: -He's alive! | 0:35:47 | 0:35:48 | |
He's fine. | 0:35:48 | 0:35:50 | |
So much for the protection of our rolling safe house. | 0:35:50 | 0:35:53 | |
Oh, honey, he was trying to save his pet. | 0:35:53 | 0:35:55 | |
I mean, what if it was Jinxy | 0:35:55 | 0:35:57 | |
who got flushed into a toilet? | 0:35:57 | 0:35:59 | |
Mr Jinx has had extensive aquatic training. | 0:35:59 | 0:36:01 | |
He would've known exactly what to do in the event of a submersion. | 0:36:01 | 0:36:03 | |
MR JINX PURRS | 0:36:03 | 0:36:04 | |
MOSES SNARLS, BERNIE CLEARS THROAT | 0:36:06 | 0:36:08 | |
20-minute warning for dinner, guys. Sorry about the trailer, Jack. | 0:36:08 | 0:36:12 | |
(Muskrat.) | 0:36:13 | 0:36:15 | |
-It's OK, Bernard. -MOSES SNARLS | 0:36:17 | 0:36:20 | |
There's no way we're telling your father this weekend. | 0:36:21 | 0:36:22 | |
I know - that's what I was saying. | 0:36:22 | 0:36:24 | |
So what do you want to do? | 0:36:24 | 0:36:25 | |
I'm not sure. I never thought this would be an issue. | 0:36:25 | 0:36:27 | |
I always thought we'd be married before we got pregnant. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:29 | |
-Hey. -What? | 0:36:29 | 0:36:31 | |
What if we move the wedding up to next month? | 0:36:32 | 0:36:34 | |
-What? -Yeah. Then we tell your dad that you got pregnant on the honeymoon. | 0:36:34 | 0:36:38 | |
Oh, my God. Yeah, that could work. | 0:36:38 | 0:36:40 | |
-Yeah, it's perfect, right? -Yeah. | 0:36:40 | 0:36:42 | |
-OK, good. Just follow my lead. -OK. | 0:36:42 | 0:36:43 | |
-OK. -OK. | 0:36:43 | 0:36:45 | |
BERNIE SINGS FANFARE | 0:36:45 | 0:36:47 | |
Without further ado, my famous Focker fondue. | 0:36:47 | 0:36:50 | |
ALL EXCLAIM | 0:36:50 | 0:36:51 | |
Go on, dig in. Come on, get it while it's hot. | 0:36:51 | 0:36:53 | |
That is so impressive, Bernie. | 0:36:53 | 0:36:55 | |
Did you do that yourself? | 0:36:55 | 0:36:56 | |
Oh, sure. Oh, I love to cook. | 0:36:56 | 0:36:58 | |
I can't even fry an egg. | 0:36:58 | 0:36:59 | |
-BERNIE: -True. -ROZ: -I burn corn flakes! -THEY LAUGH | 0:36:59 | 0:37:02 | |
I'm amazed he finds the time to cook with such a high-powered legal career. | 0:37:02 | 0:37:05 | |
High-powered? I wouldn't exactly call it high... Ow. | 0:37:05 | 0:37:09 | |
-He kicked me. Why'd you kick me? -I ki-ki-kicked you | 0:37:09 | 0:37:11 | |
because you're being modest, | 0:37:11 | 0:37:13 | |
and you should tell people that you are a good lawyer, which he is. | 0:37:13 | 0:37:16 | |
And-and-and he's fought some really big, important legal battles. | 0:37:16 | 0:37:20 | |
The truth is, Jack, when Gay was born, | 0:37:20 | 0:37:21 | |
I stopped practicing and became a stay-at-home dad. | 0:37:21 | 0:37:24 | |
Oh, believe me, he won a trial or two in his day. | 0:37:24 | 0:37:27 | |
Oh, extremely good trial lawyer. | 0:37:27 | 0:37:29 | |
A regular Clarence Darrow. | 0:37:29 | 0:37:30 | |
So Roz was the primary breadwinner, and you didn't have a job. | 0:37:30 | 0:37:33 | |
-PAM: -Dad... | 0:37:33 | 0:37:35 | |
Oh, honey, come on. You could say he had the hardest job. | 0:37:35 | 0:37:38 | |
Oh, he's-he's just kidding. | 0:37:38 | 0:37:39 | |
Of course I'm... Yes. | 0:37:39 | 0:37:41 | |
Why don't we just jump into the topic of the hour, mmm? | 0:37:41 | 0:37:43 | |
The big Focker-Byrnes wedding? | 0:37:43 | 0:37:44 | |
-Oh. -Yes. Good. | 0:37:44 | 0:37:45 | |
I know we've been talking about a-a fall wedding. | 0:37:45 | 0:37:48 | |
BERNIE SPEAKS SPANISH TO ISABEL | 0:37:48 | 0:37:51 | |
ISABEL SPEAKS SPANISH | 0:37:51 | 0:37:52 | |
Is that Isabel? | 0:37:52 | 0:37:54 | |
Oh, yeah, our former housekeeper, Isabel. | 0:37:54 | 0:37:55 | |
You know she has her own catering business now. Isn't that great? | 0:37:55 | 0:37:59 | |
And I-I asked her to come and help Bernie in the kitchen this weekend. | 0:37:59 | 0:38:01 | |
You didn't tell me she was here. | 0:38:01 | 0:38:02 | |
Gay had a monster crush on her when he was a teenager. | 0:38:02 | 0:38:04 | |
-PAM: -Really? | 0:38:04 | 0:38:06 | |
I didn't have a monster crush. | 0:38:06 | 0:38:07 | |
-You didn't tell me about that. -Yeah, because it's not true. | 0:38:07 | 0:38:09 | |
Oh, not true that I didn't catch you doing a little ba-ziga to her passport photo | 0:38:09 | 0:38:13 | |
when you were what, 13? | 0:38:13 | 0:38:14 | |
-ROZ: -Honey, stop. -BERNIE: -I walk in the door, and zuga-zuga-zuga. | 0:38:14 | 0:38:17 | |
Oh, there's my baby. | 0:38:17 | 0:38:19 | |
-Hey... -Hey, mi mijo. | 0:38:19 | 0:38:22 | |
-Como estas? -Good to see you. | 0:38:24 | 0:38:26 | |
I-I haven't seen you in years. | 0:38:27 | 0:38:29 | |
-I know. -Mm. | 0:38:29 | 0:38:31 | |
Yes, you've... Wow. | 0:38:31 | 0:38:33 | |
Yeah, look at you. You look... | 0:38:33 | 0:38:34 | |
I know. | 0:38:34 | 0:38:36 | |
-Yeah, you look... -I had a boob job. -Oh. | 0:38:36 | 0:38:37 | |
BABY COOS | 0:38:37 | 0:38:38 | |
-Yeah, yeah. -You see. | 0:38:38 | 0:38:41 | |
Hey, this is, um, Dina and Jack Byrnes. | 0:38:41 | 0:38:43 | |
SHE SPEAKS SPANISH | 0:38:43 | 0:38:44 | |
Hi, Isabel. JACK SPEAKS SPANISH | 0:38:44 | 0:38:46 | |
-And this is Pam Byrnes, my fiancee. -Hi. | 0:38:46 | 0:38:49 | |
SHE SPEAKS SPANISH | 0:38:49 | 0:38:51 | |
-< -It's nice to meet you, too. | 0:38:51 | 0:38:53 | |
Not yet married, and already a little one? | 0:38:53 | 0:38:57 | |
Hmm? | 0:38:57 | 0:38:58 | |
He is a handsome little Focker. | 0:38:58 | 0:39:00 | |
-BABY LAUGHS -Si! | 0:39:00 | 0:39:02 | |
-Oh, no, he's not a Focker. -Yeah, no, he's not mine. | 0:39:02 | 0:39:04 | |
And still you stayed to raise her child? | 0:39:04 | 0:39:07 | |
-Good for you. -> | 0:39:07 | 0:39:08 | |
-JACK: -No, he's Pam's nephew. | 0:39:08 | 0:39:09 | |
He has no connection to Greg whatsoever. | 0:39:09 | 0:39:12 | |
SHE SPEAKS SPANISH | 0:39:14 | 0:39:15 | |
I love you, too. | 0:39:16 | 0:39:17 | |
Mama, mama. | 0:39:17 | 0:39:18 | |
Oh, he wants milk. | 0:39:18 | 0:39:20 | |
EVERYONE LAUGHS | 0:39:20 | 0:39:22 | |
Little Jack, no. Those aren't for you. | 0:39:22 | 0:39:23 | |
PAM: Dad... | 0:39:24 | 0:39:26 | |
EVERYONE LAUGHS | 0:39:28 | 0:39:30 | |
-Mom. -I think I'll take him inside. | 0:39:30 | 0:39:33 | |
-JACK: -Good idea. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:34 | |
You are a very lucky woman, Pam. | 0:39:37 | 0:39:40 | |
-Oh. -He is very special, this one. | 0:39:40 | 0:39:44 | |
I think so, too. | 0:39:44 | 0:39:45 | |
Ooh, I could tell you some stories about him. | 0:39:45 | 0:39:47 | |
Really? | 0:39:47 | 0:39:48 | |
Oh, she's just being silly. | 0:39:48 | 0:39:51 | |
Uh, it was nice to meet you all. | 0:39:51 | 0:39:53 | |
-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. | 0:39:53 | 0:39:54 | |
So sweet. Gosh. So sweet. | 0:39:54 | 0:39:57 | |
Hmm. | 0:39:57 | 0:39:58 | |
Hey, you guys want some more, er, wine? | 0:39:58 | 0:40:01 | |
Mas vino por la mama, si. | 0:40:01 | 0:40:04 | |
Hey. | 0:40:05 | 0:40:06 | |
Hey, you did good, Gregorgio. | 0:40:06 | 0:40:08 | |
She's very pretty, this one, huh? | 0:40:08 | 0:40:10 | |
Yeah, she's, er... she's really great. | 0:40:10 | 0:40:12 | |
-Really great. -I see. | 0:40:12 | 0:40:13 | |
Can you believe it's been 15 years? Ay, Dios! | 0:40:13 | 0:40:18 | |
So many wonderful memories from those days. | 0:40:18 | 0:40:21 | |
Yes, yes, a lot of wonderful... | 0:40:21 | 0:40:23 | |
kind of...private... memories. | 0:40:23 | 0:40:26 | |
So you never told your fiancee about us, huh? | 0:40:26 | 0:40:30 | |
Um, no, I don't think I did. I don't, er, think... I don't think it ever really came up on my end. | 0:40:30 | 0:40:34 | |
Not that I didn't want her to know. I just... It just never really... | 0:40:34 | 0:40:36 | |
-Ah, si. -Yeah, and not that I didn't... | 0:40:36 | 0:40:38 | |
I mean, not that it wasn't great, | 0:40:38 | 0:40:39 | |
and it was really, you know, for me, it was, like... | 0:40:39 | 0:40:41 | |
And you were so... helpful, and-and... | 0:40:41 | 0:40:44 | |
Hey, don't you worry, baby. Your secret's safe with me. | 0:40:44 | 0:40:47 | |
OK. There's no secrets, but good, yeah. | 0:40:47 | 0:40:50 | |
Maybe we keep it quiet this weekend, and then... | 0:40:50 | 0:40:52 | |
Because, yeah, I don't want Pam to feel uncomfortable. | 0:40:52 | 0:40:54 | |
And then later, when it's the proper, you know, setting, I can... | 0:40:54 | 0:40:57 | |
OK, yeah. OK, good. | 0:40:57 | 0:40:58 | |
And the... Good. | 0:40:58 | 0:41:01 | |
Oh, and the fondue. | 0:41:01 | 0:41:02 | |
Fondue is going... it's going over. | 0:41:02 | 0:41:04 | |
Gay, you're just in time to hear me tell the gang | 0:41:04 | 0:41:06 | |
how you lost your virginity to Isabel. | 0:41:06 | 0:41:08 | |
He was 19, a late bloomer. | 0:41:11 | 0:41:14 | |
You s-s-slept with Isabel? | 0:41:14 | 0:41:16 | |
We were relieved. | 0:41:16 | 0:41:18 | |
Why...why would you... why-why would you bring that up? | 0:41:18 | 0:41:20 | |
What's the problem? It was what, 15 years ago? | 0:41:20 | 0:41:22 | |
Honey, your father thought that it would be fun | 0:41:22 | 0:41:25 | |
to share stories about our first time. | 0:41:25 | 0:41:26 | |
Really? That sounds like fun. That's... | 0:41:26 | 0:41:29 | |
It's...fine. | 0:41:29 | 0:41:31 | |
Come on, tell us how you poppity-popped your cherry. | 0:41:31 | 0:41:33 | |
-Come on. -I really don't feel comfortable | 0:41:33 | 0:41:35 | |
discussing that with you, Bernard. | 0:41:35 | 0:41:36 | |
You know what, I'm going to suggest that we get back to talking about the wedding. | 0:41:36 | 0:41:39 | |
-Yeah. -OK? | 0:41:39 | 0:41:40 | |
Thank you, Bernard. | 0:41:40 | 0:41:41 | |
LJ CRIES What? | 0:41:41 | 0:41:43 | |
Mom, didn't you just take Little Jack back to the room? | 0:41:43 | 0:41:46 | |
-JACK: -I'm monitoring him from a high-powered | 0:41:46 | 0:41:47 | |
multidirectional microphone planted in his crib. | 0:41:47 | 0:41:49 | |
Oh, baby monitors, hidden cameras. | 0:41:49 | 0:41:52 | |
Whatever happened to a little thing called privacy? | 0:41:52 | 0:41:54 | |
Bernie, surveillance technology | 0:41:54 | 0:41:56 | |
has helped protect a lot of the freedoms that we as Americans take advantage of today. | 0:41:56 | 0:41:59 | |
He's...he's right. It has been good. | 0:42:03 | 0:42:05 | |
Son, that is bull crap in a chef's salad. | 0:42:07 | 0:42:10 | |
Jack, tell me one smart thing the CLIA has done, | 0:42:10 | 0:42:13 | |
I will give you the deed to her house. | 0:42:13 | 0:42:15 | |
The CLIA? | 0:42:15 | 0:42:16 | |
The Central Lack of Intelligence Agency. | 0:42:16 | 0:42:19 | |
LJ CONTINUES TO CRY | 0:42:25 | 0:42:27 | |
I think that baby might need | 0:42:28 | 0:42:29 | |
a couple of pulls on that knocker of yours, Jack. | 0:42:29 | 0:42:32 | |
Well, it's OK. We're Ferberizing him. | 0:42:34 | 0:42:36 | |
-You what? -The Ferber method. | 0:42:36 | 0:42:37 | |
You let him cry it out. | 0:42:37 | 0:42:39 | |
This way, he doesn't depend on coddling. | 0:42:39 | 0:42:40 | |
On the other hand, the continuum concept shows | 0:42:40 | 0:42:43 | |
that a baby benefits more from constant physical contact. | 0:42:43 | 0:42:47 | |
Oh... | 0:42:47 | 0:42:48 | |
We use the Ferber method. | 0:42:48 | 0:42:50 | |
We use the Focker method. | 0:42:50 | 0:42:51 | |
We hugged and kissed that little prince like there was no tomorrow. | 0:42:52 | 0:42:55 | |
We Fockerised him. | 0:42:55 | 0:42:56 | |
-ROZ: -That's right. | 0:42:57 | 0:42:58 | |
Greggy practically slept in our bed till he was ten. | 0:42:58 | 0:43:01 | |
Oh, my gosh. | 0:43:01 | 0:43:02 | |
Oh, I don't think it was quite that long. | 0:43:02 | 0:43:03 | |
Yes, it was. | 0:43:03 | 0:43:04 | |
Mm-mm. I wasn't ten. | 0:43:04 | 0:43:06 | |
Nine and a half, at least. | 0:43:06 | 0:43:07 | |
Mom, I don't think so. | 0:43:07 | 0:43:09 | |
I didn't sleep in their bed till I was ten. | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
Bernie, get the photo album. | 0:43:11 | 0:43:12 | |
I'm one step ahead of you, my cutie. | 0:43:12 | 0:43:14 | |
No, no, no. We're eating dinner. | 0:43:14 | 0:43:15 | |
-PAM: -Oh, it's all right. | 0:43:15 | 0:43:17 | |
These are the curls from his first trip to the barber shop. | 0:43:17 | 0:43:20 | |
-Nobody wants to see this. -Oh, and you kept all his baby teeth. | 0:43:20 | 0:43:23 | |
Yeah, show Jack. | 0:43:23 | 0:43:24 | |
Look at this, all those little teeth. Isn't that sweet? | 0:43:24 | 0:43:27 | |
-Uh-oh, somebody looks very grumpy there. -Oh, yeah. | 0:43:27 | 0:43:31 | |
Oh, that's Gay with the Mohel. | 0:43:31 | 0:43:32 | |
-The Mohel? -No. | 0:43:32 | 0:43:33 | |
He's the man who snips the baby's little winky-dink. | 0:43:33 | 0:43:36 | |
See, that's Greg getting circumcised right here. | 0:43:36 | 0:43:39 | |
-BERNIE: -We had the ceremony at my parents' house, | 0:43:39 | 0:43:41 | |
and it was a cold snap, and the heat comes... Tell it. | 0:43:41 | 0:43:43 | |
-The heater conked out... -Mom... Mom... | 0:43:43 | 0:43:44 | |
..so no matter how hard he tried, | 0:43:44 | 0:43:46 | |
the Mohel couldn't coax Greggy's tiny little turtle from its shell. | 0:43:46 | 0:43:50 | |
GREG: You know what? Let's not talk about the tiny turtle, OK? | 0:43:50 | 0:43:51 | |
-It's OK. -No, look, this is dinner. | 0:43:51 | 0:43:53 | |
Honey, half the people at this table have penises. | 0:43:53 | 0:43:56 | |
Mom, control yourself. | 0:43:56 | 0:43:57 | |
-Roz. -What? | 0:43:57 | 0:43:58 | |
He's right. You're embarrassing him. | 0:43:58 | 0:44:00 | |
OK. I'm sorry. | 0:44:00 | 0:44:01 | |
To make a long story short, Jack, he wound up with a semi-circ. | 0:44:01 | 0:44:05 | |
GIGGLING | 0:44:05 | 0:44:07 | |
What's a semi-circ? | 0:44:07 | 0:44:08 | |
I can't wait to hear this. | 0:44:08 | 0:44:10 | |
What? It's a cross between a-an anteater and a... | 0:44:10 | 0:44:13 | |
German army helmet. | 0:44:13 | 0:44:14 | |
GIGGLING | 0:44:14 | 0:44:16 | |
OK. | 0:44:16 | 0:44:18 | |
But, honey, oh, mm-mm-mm. | 0:44:18 | 0:44:20 | |
You wanted to talk about the wedding, right? | 0:44:20 | 0:44:22 | |
Oh, don't tell me you kept his umbilical cord? | 0:44:24 | 0:44:27 | |
Of course not. That's Greg's foreskin. | 0:44:27 | 0:44:29 | |
All right, you know what? That's it. That's it. | 0:44:30 | 0:44:32 | |
That's enough humiliation for one night. | 0:44:32 | 0:44:33 | |
Come on, we were having fun. | 0:44:33 | 0:44:34 | |
No, we're not having fun. | 0:44:34 | 0:44:35 | |
-Why deny us our memories? -Because we're done! | 0:44:35 | 0:44:37 | |
THEY SHOUT | 0:44:37 | 0:44:38 | |
BUBBLING AND SIZZLING | 0:44:39 | 0:44:41 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:44:42 | 0:44:44 | |
Anyone in the mood for Chinese? | 0:44:45 | 0:44:47 | |
You told me your first time was with a Danish transfer student in high school. | 0:44:49 | 0:44:52 | |
Yeah, well, you weren't exactly forthcoming about your engagement with Kevin. | 0:44:52 | 0:44:56 | |
Yeah, well, he wasn't my baby-sitter. | 0:44:56 | 0:44:58 | |
OK, I should've told you, all right? | 0:44:58 | 0:45:00 | |
Can we just let it go, please? | 0:45:00 | 0:45:01 | |
We both got enough stuff to deal with this weekend. | 0:45:01 | 0:45:04 | |
Oh, hi, Jack. | 0:45:08 | 0:45:09 | |
Hello, Greg. | 0:45:09 | 0:45:11 | |
Funny dinner, huh? | 0:45:11 | 0:45:13 | |
How do you mean? | 0:45:13 | 0:45:14 | |
I know that you're studying my family | 0:45:14 | 0:45:16 | |
like the frozen caveman, | 0:45:16 | 0:45:17 | |
so I just... I don't want you to be worried, OK? | 0:45:17 | 0:45:20 | |
I mean, they're a little quirky, | 0:45:20 | 0:45:22 | |
but they...they're really well-intentioned, | 0:45:22 | 0:45:24 | |
and-and I think they were just nervous, and... | 0:45:24 | 0:45:26 | |
Greg, I 'm sure tomorrow will be a better day. | 0:45:26 | 0:45:28 | |
-BERNIE IN SOUTHERN ACCENT: -I'm sorry, ma'am. | 0:45:28 | 0:45:30 | |
I thought you ordered room service. | 0:45:30 | 0:45:32 | |
Are you sure you don't want any whipped cream with your sundae? | 0:45:32 | 0:45:35 | |
-ROZ SQUEALS -Bern, stop it. | 0:45:35 | 0:45:37 | |
Who's Bern? I'm Chad the bellhop. | 0:45:37 | 0:45:39 | |
Oh, no, come on, we did that last week. | 0:45:39 | 0:45:41 | |
Can't you be Sam the carpet-cleaning man? | 0:45:41 | 0:45:43 | |
It's illogical - why would a carpet cleaner have whipped cream? | 0:45:43 | 0:45:45 | |
Well, improvise, honey. | 0:45:45 | 0:45:47 | |
Good evening, miss. I'm here to clean your carpet. | 0:45:47 | 0:45:49 | |
ROZ GIGGLES AND SQUEALS, WHIPPED CREAM HISSES | 0:45:49 | 0:45:51 | |
Do you mind if I put some foam down on your rug? | 0:45:51 | 0:45:54 | |
I don't mind at all. | 0:45:54 | 0:45:55 | |
-Good night, Greg. -OK, sleep well, Jack. | 0:45:55 | 0:45:57 | |
-ROZ: -How-how long have you worked at this hotel? | 0:45:57 | 0:45:59 | |
I always like to put some snow on your mountains. Come on. | 0:45:59 | 0:46:02 | |
You're going to get some whipped cream on those Tetons. | 0:46:02 | 0:46:05 | |
BERNIE AND ROZ LAUGH | 0:46:05 | 0:46:06 | |
-Guys! ROZ: -Come back in the morning, Tootsie roll. | 0:46:06 | 0:46:09 | |
-Guys! BERNIE: -Gay, you see the cowboy hat on the door? | 0:46:09 | 0:46:11 | |
Cowboy hat is off the door. | 0:46:11 | 0:46:13 | |
No cowboy hat this weekend. | 0:46:13 | 0:46:14 | |
-I'm coming in, all right? -OK. | 0:46:14 | 0:46:15 | |
So stop doing what you're doing. Look, I was... | 0:46:15 | 0:46:18 | |
Oh, no... | 0:46:18 | 0:46:20 | |
Come on, man, you know what that cowboy hat on the door means. | 0:46:20 | 0:46:22 | |
Can you please help me out here? | 0:46:22 | 0:46:24 | |
What? We're just being ourselves. | 0:46:24 | 0:46:26 | |
Mom, cover. Mom, please? | 0:46:26 | 0:46:27 | |
I think he's saying not to be ourselves. | 0:46:27 | 0:46:28 | |
Yes, be yourselves, but be yourselves in a way | 0:46:28 | 0:46:30 | |
that's a little less than being your full selves. | 0:46:30 | 0:46:33 | |
-OK? All right? -I don't understand this, honey. | 0:46:33 | 0:46:35 | |
Why are you so afraid of this Jack? | 0:46:35 | 0:46:36 | |
You've been kissing his ass since you got here. | 0:46:36 | 0:46:39 | |
Mom, I'm not afraid of him, OK. That's not true. | 0:46:39 | 0:46:41 | |
-It is true. -I can't believe you went duck hunting with him. | 0:46:41 | 0:46:43 | |
-Our people don't shoot ducks. -Do me a favour. | 0:46:43 | 0:46:45 | |
Just make Jack feel a little more comfortable here, OK? | 0:46:45 | 0:46:47 | |
So you don't want us to be ourselves. | 0:46:47 | 0:46:49 | |
No, I just don't want you to break his RV, Dad, | 0:46:49 | 0:46:50 | |
and-and-and-and reveal that I had sex with Isabel, | 0:46:50 | 0:46:53 | |
and play weird sex games that everybody can hear in the house. | 0:46:53 | 0:46:55 | |
Mom, cover. Mom, please? | 0:46:55 | 0:46:57 | |
If you ask me, it wouldn't be so bad | 0:46:57 | 0:46:59 | |
if your future in-laws heard this. | 0:46:59 | 0:47:00 | |
Do me a favour. Just don't therapise the Byrneses | 0:47:00 | 0:47:03 | |
this weekend at all, OK? | 0:47:03 | 0:47:04 | |
All I'm saying is, a few minutes | 0:47:04 | 0:47:06 | |
of concentrated work with him and Dina, | 0:47:06 | 0:47:07 | |
she could get him to blow like Krakatoa. | 0:47:07 | 0:47:09 | |
Right, OK, yeah. You know what? One day. | 0:47:09 | 0:47:13 | |
Just give me one day, OK, without any complications. | 0:47:13 | 0:47:15 | |
We get through it, everybody goes off, | 0:47:15 | 0:47:17 | |
we go on with our lives - can we do that? | 0:47:17 | 0:47:19 | |
-All right. -You got it, dude. | 0:47:19 | 0:47:20 | |
Thank you. OK. | 0:47:20 | 0:47:21 | |
-Hon? -Yeah. | 0:47:21 | 0:47:22 | |
Put the hat back on the door, OK? | 0:47:22 | 0:47:24 | |
No, Mom. No cowboy hat this weekend. | 0:47:24 | 0:47:27 | |
OK, but tonight doesn't count. | 0:47:27 | 0:47:28 | |
BERNIE IMITATES TRAIN WHISTLE, ROZ GIGGLES | 0:47:28 | 0:47:30 | |
-All aboard! -Oh, my God, that tickles. | 0:47:30 | 0:47:31 | |
Morning, partner. | 0:47:42 | 0:47:44 | |
Good morning. | 0:47:46 | 0:47:47 | |
You sleep OK? | 0:47:47 | 0:47:49 | |
I slept all right, thank you. | 0:47:49 | 0:47:52 | |
It's nice, all of us being here together, don't you think? | 0:47:58 | 0:48:00 | |
Bernard, do you mind if I have some privacy? | 0:48:00 | 0:48:04 | |
Almost done. | 0:48:04 | 0:48:07 | |
Oh, Bernie, this frittata is wonderful. | 0:48:13 | 0:48:15 | |
What's in it? | 0:48:15 | 0:48:16 | |
Well, a lot of the taste comes from this old skillet. | 0:48:16 | 0:48:19 | |
I've never washed it. | 0:48:19 | 0:48:20 | |
GREG: Hey, guys? | 0:48:20 | 0:48:21 | |
Can I have everybody's attention, please? | 0:48:21 | 0:48:23 | |
-Gay? -Yeah? | 0:48:23 | 0:48:24 | |
Be back in a sec. | 0:48:24 | 0:48:25 | |
OK, Dad? All right. | 0:48:25 | 0:48:28 | |
-Um, so... Mom? -Yeah. | 0:48:28 | 0:48:30 | |
I know we've been, er... we've been talking | 0:48:30 | 0:48:31 | |
about having the, er, wedding | 0:48:31 | 0:48:33 | |
-in October. -Right. | 0:48:33 | 0:48:34 | |
But Pam and I have been doing a little thinking | 0:48:34 | 0:48:35 | |
and playing around with some ideas, | 0:48:35 | 0:48:37 | |
and, er, we're actually thinking of moving it up to June. | 0:48:37 | 0:48:39 | |
-Nice. -This June? | 0:48:39 | 0:48:41 | |
-Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:48:41 | 0:48:42 | |
That's... That's in a month. | 0:48:42 | 0:48:45 | |
I always wanted a spring wedding, you know? | 0:48:45 | 0:48:47 | |
Well, that's great. | 0:48:47 | 0:48:48 | |
So we can announce it at the party tonight. | 0:48:48 | 0:48:49 | |
-Good idea. -Wait. What party? | 0:48:49 | 0:48:52 | |
Jack...let's play football. | 0:48:52 | 0:48:54 | |
Oh, your father and I are throwing | 0:48:54 | 0:48:55 | |
a little engagement soiree | 0:48:55 | 0:48:57 | |
for you two lovebirds. | 0:48:57 | 0:48:59 | |
Would you.... Would you look at that punim? | 0:48:59 | 0:49:01 | |
That's so sweet. Thank you, guys. | 0:49:01 | 0:49:03 | |
No, I thought we were just having a nice, quiet dinner. | 0:49:03 | 0:49:06 | |
It's supposed to be a surprise. | 0:49:06 | 0:49:07 | |
The phone keeps ringing, the list keeps growing. | 0:49:07 | 0:49:09 | |
Yeah, now it's up to 50 Fockers. | 0:49:09 | 0:49:11 | |
When were you going to tell us about this? | 0:49:11 | 0:49:13 | |
50 Fockers. | 0:49:14 | 0:49:16 | |
What could be better? | 0:49:16 | 0:49:17 | |
Dad, what are you doing? We never play football. | 0:49:17 | 0:49:20 | |
I'm trying to cement relationships here. | 0:49:20 | 0:49:22 | |
Jack said he was into footie-ball. | 0:49:22 | 0:49:24 | |
Let's show El Stiffo how we play the game. | 0:49:24 | 0:49:26 | |
"Footie-ball"? | 0:49:26 | 0:49:27 | |
Come on, come on, let's play! | 0:49:27 | 0:49:29 | |
You know, I'm feeling a little tired. | 0:49:29 | 0:49:30 | |
I think I'm going to sit this out with Little Jack, OK? | 0:49:30 | 0:49:31 | |
Oh, OK, honey, you want me to keep you company? | 0:49:31 | 0:49:33 | |
No, Dina, come on! | 0:49:33 | 0:49:34 | |
You and I'll take on Jack and Roz. | 0:49:34 | 0:49:36 | |
Come on, Jack, | 0:49:36 | 0:49:37 | |
it'll be fun - we'll swap wives. | 0:49:37 | 0:49:39 | |
Don't worry. You'll get him back after the game. | 0:49:40 | 0:49:43 | |
Fine, we'll play three-on-two, | 0:49:43 | 0:49:44 | |
but someone needs to be official quarterback. | 0:49:44 | 0:49:46 | |
Gay goes both ways. | 0:49:46 | 0:49:47 | |
Oh, I bet he does. | 0:49:47 | 0:49:49 | |
Hut one, hut two, hike! | 0:49:51 | 0:49:53 | |
-Right here! -Cover. | 0:49:54 | 0:49:57 | |
Whoo-hoo! | 0:50:00 | 0:50:01 | |
CHEERING | 0:50:03 | 0:50:06 | |
# You're dirty and sweet Oh, yeah... # | 0:50:07 | 0:50:10 | |
Huddle up. | 0:50:13 | 0:50:14 | |
I want it down and in. Draw in the defence. | 0:50:14 | 0:50:17 | |
Then you'll hit Roz here in the end zone for a TD. | 0:50:17 | 0:50:19 | |
What do you mean? He hits me where with a what with a...? Why? | 0:50:19 | 0:50:22 | |
I'll throw the ball, you try to catch it, OK? | 0:50:22 | 0:50:23 | |
You want me to catch that thing? | 0:50:23 | 0:50:25 | |
-Yeah. -On two. Ready? | 0:50:25 | 0:50:26 | |
Break. | 0:50:26 | 0:50:27 | |
-Ah! -Hut one, hut two. | 0:50:27 | 0:50:28 | |
Hike! | 0:50:28 | 0:50:30 | |
Go, go, go. | 0:50:30 | 0:50:31 | |
This way, this way! | 0:50:31 | 0:50:34 | |
That way, that way, that way, that way! | 0:50:34 | 0:50:35 | |
It's over, it's over. | 0:50:35 | 0:50:37 | |
It's over. | 0:50:37 | 0:50:39 | |
Your ass is mine! Come on! | 0:50:39 | 0:50:40 | |
Remember that time in the park? | 0:50:40 | 0:50:42 | |
Remember that time in the park? | 0:50:42 | 0:50:44 | |
Guys, come on, come on, cut it out. | 0:50:44 | 0:50:45 | |
I'm so proud of you! | 0:50:45 | 0:50:46 | |
I caught the ball, honey. | 0:50:46 | 0:50:49 | |
-Mom, come on. -I caught the ball. | 0:50:49 | 0:50:51 | |
Come on, now, huddle up. | 0:50:51 | 0:50:52 | |
Nah, I'm bored. Here. | 0:50:52 | 0:50:54 | |
Dina, come on, let's go. | 0:50:54 | 0:50:56 | |
You want a spritzer? | 0:50:56 | 0:50:57 | |
What? Oh, a spritzer. | 0:50:57 | 0:50:58 | |
That sounds yummy. | 0:50:58 | 0:51:00 | |
All right, come on, Dad, you got to focus, all right? | 0:51:00 | 0:51:01 | |
-Yeah. -He's beating you | 0:51:01 | 0:51:02 | |
down the field every time. | 0:51:02 | 0:51:03 | |
Yeah, you want me to be macho-wacho? | 0:51:03 | 0:51:04 | |
No. What? | 0:51:04 | 0:51:05 | |
Have I ever said the words | 0:51:05 | 0:51:06 | |
"macho-wacho" to you ever in my life? | 0:51:06 | 0:51:07 | |
-I got it. Gay? -All right, let's go. | 0:51:07 | 0:51:09 | |
-What? -Gay, I won't disappoint you. | 0:51:09 | 0:51:10 | |
OK, let's try it again. | 0:51:11 | 0:51:12 | |
I want a stop and go. | 0:51:12 | 0:51:13 | |
Fake the short pass, | 0:51:13 | 0:51:15 | |
then hit me here in the end zone with a Hail Mary. | 0:51:15 | 0:51:16 | |
-OK. -Got that? | 0:51:16 | 0:51:17 | |
Yeah, I mean, we keep running that play. | 0:51:17 | 0:51:18 | |
Maybe do you want to mix it up a little or...? | 0:51:18 | 0:51:20 | |
No, I don't. | 0:51:20 | 0:51:21 | |
I've exposed Bernie's weakness, | 0:51:21 | 0:51:22 | |
and I want to take advantage of it. | 0:51:22 | 0:51:23 | |
Exposed his weakness. OK, yeah, right. On four? | 0:51:23 | 0:51:26 | |
Four. | 0:51:26 | 0:51:28 | |
Just you and me, Jack, mano-a-mano. | 0:51:38 | 0:51:41 | |
You think you can take me, flower man? | 0:51:42 | 0:51:44 | |
Pretty sure I can, Mr Mom. | 0:51:44 | 0:51:47 | |
You're going down, Byrnesie boy. | 0:51:48 | 0:51:49 | |
I'm going to rearrange your bouquet. | 0:51:49 | 0:51:51 | |
-WHISPERING: -Sell the pump-fake, Greg, | 0:51:53 | 0:51:55 | |
cos now Focker's going to bite. | 0:51:55 | 0:51:56 | |
THEY MOUTH | 0:52:03 | 0:52:07 | |
Hut one, hut two, | 0:52:07 | 0:52:09 | |
hut three, | 0:52:09 | 0:52:10 | |
hut four, hike! | 0:52:10 | 0:52:12 | |
YELLING | 0:52:25 | 0:52:29 | |
-Oh, my God! -Oh, God! | 0:52:38 | 0:52:39 | |
Oh! | 0:52:39 | 0:52:40 | |
-Boo-yah! -Shit! | 0:52:41 | 0:52:43 | |
Don't move, don't move, don't move. | 0:52:43 | 0:52:45 | |
Hey, Jack, are you OK? | 0:52:45 | 0:52:48 | |
I'm fine, Greg. Thank you. | 0:52:48 | 0:52:50 | |
You know, I see that kind of injury | 0:52:50 | 0:52:51 | |
all the time at the hospital. | 0:52:51 | 0:52:52 | |
I wish you'd let me give you a quick exam. | 0:52:52 | 0:52:54 | |
No, I'm, er... I'm fine. | 0:52:54 | 0:52:56 | |
I told you, I'll have my doctor look at it when I get home. | 0:52:56 | 0:52:59 | |
OK. | 0:53:00 | 0:53:01 | |
You know, it's amazing | 0:53:01 | 0:53:02 | |
how your father anticipated the pump-fake like that. | 0:53:02 | 0:53:04 | |
It's almost like he... knew it was coming. | 0:53:04 | 0:53:08 | |
Hmm, well, he definitely takes... | 0:53:08 | 0:53:11 | |
competition seriously. | 0:53:11 | 0:53:14 | |
How a man handles himself on the football field | 0:53:14 | 0:53:16 | |
says a lot about his character. | 0:53:16 | 0:53:18 | |
Know what I mean? | 0:53:18 | 0:53:19 | |
OK. | 0:53:21 | 0:53:22 | |
Hey. | 0:53:26 | 0:53:27 | |
Hey. We got 'em, didn't we, dude? Huh? | 0:53:27 | 0:53:29 | |
Was he impressed? | 0:53:29 | 0:53:30 | |
No, Dad, he wasn't. | 0:53:30 | 0:53:31 | |
That was a really hard shot. You could have hurt him. | 0:53:31 | 0:53:34 | |
I just wanted it to be a fun game, | 0:53:34 | 0:53:36 | |
but you wanted to win, so, you know, | 0:53:36 | 0:53:38 | |
you got me all steamed up. | 0:53:38 | 0:53:39 | |
No, I asked you to play a little defence. | 0:53:39 | 0:53:41 | |
I didn't ask you to turn it into a blood sport. | 0:53:41 | 0:53:43 | |
I play too easy, I play too hard. | 0:53:43 | 0:53:45 | |
What are you really asking me to do, Gaylord? | 0:53:45 | 0:53:48 | |
I'm not asking anything of you, Dad. Just go down there | 0:53:48 | 0:53:50 | |
and apologise to him, OK? He thinks it was a cheap shot. | 0:53:50 | 0:53:53 | |
Sure. OK. Whatever you say. | 0:53:53 | 0:53:54 | |
OK. | 0:53:54 | 0:53:56 | |
I can't win with this kid. I can't. | 0:53:57 | 0:53:59 | |
Honey, it's OK. | 0:53:59 | 0:54:00 | |
I can't. | 0:54:00 | 0:54:02 | |
-Hi, baby. -Hey. | 0:54:02 | 0:54:03 | |
So... | 0:54:03 | 0:54:04 | |
Hmm? | 0:54:04 | 0:54:05 | |
How far along is Pam? | 0:54:05 | 0:54:08 | |
What? | 0:54:08 | 0:54:09 | |
Come on, honey. I knew it the minute I saw her. | 0:54:09 | 0:54:11 | |
Her boobs are bigger. She's hormonal. | 0:54:11 | 0:54:13 | |
No wine at dinner. No football. | 0:54:13 | 0:54:14 | |
She just found out yesterday. | 0:54:14 | 0:54:16 | |
What...? | 0:54:16 | 0:54:18 | |
Honey. My Bubeleh's going to have a baby. | 0:54:18 | 0:54:21 | |
Thank you. | 0:54:21 | 0:54:22 | |
My Bubeleh's going to be a father. | 0:54:22 | 0:54:23 | |
-Oh, my God! -Ah... | 0:54:23 | 0:54:24 | |
Tell me, talk to me. | 0:54:24 | 0:54:26 | |
-This is so exciting. -All right. | 0:54:26 | 0:54:27 | |
-Shh, shh, shh... -Talk to me. -What, "Shh"? | 0:54:27 | 0:54:28 | |
No, you didn't tell Dad, did you? | 0:54:28 | 0:54:30 | |
No, not yet. He's gonna plotz. | 0:54:30 | 0:54:31 | |
No, no, Mom, you can't tell him. | 0:54:31 | 0:54:32 | |
Why not? | 0:54:32 | 0:54:33 | |
Because he can't keep a secret. | 0:54:33 | 0:54:35 | |
You know that. You think Jack knows? | 0:54:35 | 0:54:37 | |
Are you kidding? That guy is in such denial, | 0:54:37 | 0:54:39 | |
he thinks his daughter's still a virgin. | 0:54:39 | 0:54:40 | |
Yeah, I know. He's very old-fashioned. | 0:54:40 | 0:54:42 | |
That's why Pam doesn't want to tell him till after the wedding. | 0:54:42 | 0:54:44 | |
That is ridiculous. | 0:54:44 | 0:54:45 | |
Mom, it isn't, believe me. You don't know him like I do. | 0:54:45 | 0:54:47 | |
Fine, my lips are sealed. | 0:54:47 | 0:54:49 | |
I am so excited and thrilled for you! | 0:54:49 | 0:54:51 | |
MUTTERS, SQUEALS | 0:54:51 | 0:54:53 | |
I'm so happy for you two. | 0:54:53 | 0:54:54 | |
Ooh, did you plan this? | 0:54:54 | 0:54:56 | |
Uh, no, it just sort of happened. | 0:54:56 | 0:54:58 | |
How did it happen? | 0:54:58 | 0:54:59 | |
How? It just happened, you know. | 0:54:59 | 0:55:01 | |
You know how it happens. | 0:55:01 | 0:55:02 | |
I mean, I'm not going to go into details, come on. | 0:55:02 | 0:55:05 | |
But honey, I love details. | 0:55:05 | 0:55:06 | |
-Sorry. -Just... | 0:55:06 | 0:55:08 | |
All right, all right, all right, OK. | 0:55:08 | 0:55:10 | |
Well, you know, honey, many unplanned pregnancies happen | 0:55:10 | 0:55:13 | |
because the man is such a sexual dynamo. | 0:55:13 | 0:55:15 | |
And the woman craves his sperm on an unconscious | 0:55:15 | 0:55:18 | |
but very powerful level. | 0:55:18 | 0:55:19 | |
Mm-hmm. Mom, I'm truly not comfortable having | 0:55:19 | 0:55:22 | |
this conversation with you. | 0:55:22 | 0:55:24 | |
-No? -No. | 0:55:24 | 0:55:25 | |
I've been telling you that since I was 11. | 0:55:25 | 0:55:27 | |
All right. Love you. | 0:55:27 | 0:55:28 | |
Love you, too. | 0:55:28 | 0:55:30 | |
Uh, Jack, what say you and me go into town? | 0:55:30 | 0:55:32 | |
I got a guy who can fix | 0:55:32 | 0:55:33 | |
-your RV. -Oh! | 0:55:33 | 0:55:35 | |
I'm in far too much physical agony, Bernie. | 0:55:35 | 0:55:38 | |
Gee, I'm sorry, but it'll be good for you, | 0:55:38 | 0:55:39 | |
you know, to, you know, get out and about. | 0:55:39 | 0:55:41 | |
-ROZ: -Yeah, perfect! | 0:55:41 | 0:55:42 | |
I can take the girls shopping | 0:55:42 | 0:55:43 | |
in Coconut Grove, and... | 0:55:43 | 0:55:45 | |
Little Jack is on a very specific napping schedule. | 0:55:45 | 0:55:48 | |
I'd better stay here. | 0:55:48 | 0:55:49 | |
-ROZ: -No! Go! | 0:55:49 | 0:55:51 | |
Greg can watch him. | 0:55:51 | 0:55:52 | |
-Yeah, sure. -He has wonderful | 0:55:52 | 0:55:53 | |
parental instincts. | 0:55:53 | 0:55:55 | |
-Dad, Greg deals with little kids in the ER all the time. -That's right. | 0:55:55 | 0:55:58 | |
It's true. They don't call me Barry Poppins for nothin'. | 0:55:58 | 0:56:00 | |
LAUGHING That's funny... Cute! | 0:56:00 | 0:56:03 | |
Why would someone call you Barry Poppins? | 0:56:03 | 0:56:05 | |
GROWLS | 0:56:05 | 0:56:06 | |
They wouldn't. | 0:56:07 | 0:56:10 | |
SQUEAKING ON GLASS | 0:56:31 | 0:56:34 | |
Now remember, Greg, we're Ferberising him, | 0:56:34 | 0:56:37 | |
so unless it's an emergency, under no circumstances | 0:56:37 | 0:56:40 | |
should you pick him up or coddle him | 0:56:40 | 0:56:42 | |
in any way, when he cries. | 0:56:42 | 0:56:43 | |
Mm-hmm, OK. | 0:56:43 | 0:56:44 | |
He's learning to self-soothe. | 0:56:44 | 0:56:45 | |
-Mm-hmm. -That means no television, | 0:56:45 | 0:56:47 | |
no unapproved toys and most of all, | 0:56:47 | 0:56:49 | |
no monkey business of any kind. Is that clear? | 0:56:49 | 0:56:51 | |
-Mm-hmm. No monkey business. -OK. | 0:56:51 | 0:56:53 | |
Jack, shall we get a move on, pal-o-mine-o? | 0:56:53 | 0:56:56 | |
I'm ready. | 0:56:56 | 0:56:57 | |
I love this, Roz. This is a great find. | 0:57:07 | 0:57:09 | |
Oh, good! And it's loose. | 0:57:09 | 0:57:11 | |
So you can wear it even if you gain a few pounds. | 0:57:11 | 0:57:14 | |
Isn't that lovely? | 0:57:15 | 0:57:17 | |
Oh, honey, are you all right? You look a little flushed. | 0:57:17 | 0:57:20 | |
Oh, it's just the heat. It takes some getting used to. | 0:57:20 | 0:57:23 | |
I'm fine. I'm gonna try this on. | 0:57:23 | 0:57:24 | |
Thank you, Roz. | 0:57:24 | 0:57:26 | |
And now, madame, | 0:57:26 | 0:57:27 | |
let's find something sexy for the mama to wear. | 0:57:27 | 0:57:30 | |
-Look at this little number. -Whoa! | 0:57:30 | 0:57:32 | |
I think this'll get Jack's blood flowing. | 0:57:32 | 0:57:34 | |
CHUCKLES Jack would have a coronary. | 0:57:34 | 0:57:36 | |
I thought so. | 0:57:36 | 0:57:38 | |
Oh, Dina, talk to me. | 0:57:38 | 0:57:41 | |
What's really going on with that man? | 0:57:41 | 0:57:44 | |
He seems very uptight. | 0:57:44 | 0:57:46 | |
Jack's always been a little wound up. | 0:57:46 | 0:57:48 | |
His job was very stressful. | 0:57:48 | 0:57:50 | |
Being a florist is stressful? | 0:57:50 | 0:57:52 | |
There's more to it than people think. | 0:57:52 | 0:57:54 | |
Uh-huh... | 0:57:54 | 0:57:55 | |
If you don't mind me asking, how's your sex life? | 0:57:55 | 0:57:58 | |
LAUGHS | 0:57:58 | 0:58:00 | |
I can't tell you that! | 0:58:00 | 0:58:01 | |
What's the big deal? I'm a professional. | 0:58:01 | 0:58:03 | |
Dina, I'm a sex therapist | 0:58:03 | 0:58:04 | |
specialising in senior sexuality. | 0:58:04 | 0:58:07 | |
I knew those weren't yoga mats. | 0:58:07 | 0:58:09 | |
-LAUGHS -No. | 0:58:09 | 0:58:11 | |
Well, we're not 25 any more. | 0:58:11 | 0:58:14 | |
Well, you're not dead, either. | 0:58:14 | 0:58:16 | |
Lots of couples our age lack intimacy in their marriages. | 0:58:16 | 0:58:19 | |
Well, I didn't say we weren't intimate. | 0:58:19 | 0:58:21 | |
There are special occasions - you know, anniversaries, and... | 0:58:21 | 0:58:25 | |
Well, on our anniversary. | 0:58:25 | 0:58:26 | |
Ay, ay, ay! Narrishkeit. | 0:58:26 | 0:58:27 | |
I beg your pardon? | 0:58:27 | 0:58:28 | |
Not good. | 0:58:28 | 0:58:29 | |
I think that I can help you and Jack reconnect. | 0:58:29 | 0:58:32 | |
How? | 0:58:32 | 0:58:33 | |
Well, it all starts with a little bit of, um... | 0:58:33 | 0:58:38 | |
how shall I say... intimate contact. | 0:58:38 | 0:58:41 | |
-Yeah? -Mm-hmm. | 0:58:41 | 0:58:42 | |
Wow, that tingles. | 0:58:42 | 0:58:43 | |
Every pleasure in the body... | 0:58:43 | 0:58:45 | |
SIGHS | 0:58:45 | 0:58:46 | |
...can be stimulated through the ears. | 0:58:46 | 0:58:49 | |
I would give it a shot with Jack tonight. | 0:58:49 | 0:58:52 | |
What's going on over here? | 0:58:52 | 0:58:53 | |
Nothing. Just having some girl talk. | 0:58:53 | 0:58:56 | |
Roz. | 0:58:56 | 0:58:57 | |
LITTLE JACK CRYING | 0:58:57 | 0:59:01 | |
SIGHS | 0:59:04 | 0:59:06 | |
CRYING CONTINUES | 0:59:06 | 0:59:09 | |
CRYING CONTINUES | 0:59:18 | 0:59:20 | |
OK, here's the deal, LJ. | 0:59:25 | 0:59:26 | |
I'm gonna give you a few minutes of attention, | 0:59:26 | 0:59:29 | |
but you have to promise that you don't tell | 0:59:29 | 0:59:31 | |
Grandpa Jack anything, OK? | 0:59:31 | 0:59:32 | |
All right. Good. | 0:59:32 | 0:59:34 | |
CRIES | 0:59:34 | 0:59:36 | |
OK, I don't quite know what that means, | 0:59:36 | 0:59:38 | |
but I'm gonna trust you. | 0:59:38 | 0:59:40 | |
CRIES | 0:59:40 | 0:59:41 | |
All right, here we go. | 0:59:41 | 0:59:43 | |
Oh! OK, OK. | 0:59:43 | 0:59:44 | |
It's OK. | 0:59:44 | 0:59:45 | |
Oh! | 0:59:45 | 0:59:47 | |
A little huggy-wuggy never hurt anybody. | 0:59:47 | 0:59:50 | |
WHIMPERING | 0:59:50 | 0:59:53 | |
I know we're not supposed to watch TV, | 0:59:58 | 1:00:00 | |
but we won't tell Grandpa Jack, will we? | 1:00:00 | 1:00:02 | |
Oh, look! Look! It's Elmo! | 1:00:02 | 1:00:05 | |
Do you like fishes? | 1:00:05 | 1:00:07 | |
You don't like fishes? | 1:00:07 | 1:00:09 | |
No? All right. | 1:00:09 | 1:00:10 | |
All right. | 1:00:10 | 1:00:12 | |
OK. OK. CRYING | 1:00:12 | 1:00:15 | |
SIGHS God. | 1:00:15 | 1:00:16 | |
RHYTHMIC SQUEAKING | 1:00:16 | 1:00:19 | |
PANTING | 1:00:19 | 1:00:22 | |
Hey, I got an idea. | 1:00:22 | 1:00:23 | |
Let's see what pre-approved | 1:00:23 | 1:00:25 | |
genius toys Grandpa Jack has in his big basket of fun, hmm? | 1:00:25 | 1:00:29 | |
Oh, look! Look! | 1:00:29 | 1:00:31 | |
It's a...it's a...an abacus. | 1:00:31 | 1:00:33 | |
Abacuses aren't that much fun, are they? | 1:00:33 | 1:00:36 | |
I don't know why | 1:00:36 | 1:00:37 | |
people think they're fun. | 1:00:37 | 1:00:38 | |
Look at this. | 1:00:38 | 1:00:39 | |
Look, it's, it's... bolts on a plank. Hmm! | 1:00:39 | 1:00:42 | |
CRIES Fun bolts. | 1:00:42 | 1:00:44 | |
No, not very fun. | 1:00:44 | 1:00:46 | |
Hey! Ah... | 1:00:46 | 1:00:48 | |
CRYING CONTINUES | 1:00:48 | 1:00:49 | |
A little birdie. | 1:00:49 | 1:00:50 | |
Look, he sings. Oh! | 1:00:50 | 1:00:53 | |
# And if that mockingbird don't sing | 1:00:53 | 1:00:56 | |
# Then Greg is gonna buy you a diamond ring | 1:00:56 | 1:00:59 | |
# And if that diamond ring gets sold | 1:00:59 | 1:01:04 | |
# Greg's gonna feel like a...big asshole. # | 1:01:04 | 1:01:08 | |
Ass...hoooole. | 1:01:09 | 1:01:12 | |
No, no, no. You don't want to say that word, though. | 1:01:12 | 1:01:14 | |
We don't want to say that word, cos that's a bad word. | 1:01:14 | 1:01:16 | |
Ass...hooole. | 1:01:16 | 1:01:18 | |
No, no, no. | 1:01:18 | 1:01:19 | |
I thought this was a repair shop. | 1:01:22 | 1:01:24 | |
Oh, this is better. That's Isabel's son, Jorge. | 1:01:24 | 1:01:27 | |
15 years old, he can fix anything. | 1:01:27 | 1:01:29 | |
Hey, Bernie! Oye, mi amigo, como estas? | 1:01:29 | 1:01:31 | |
Yo, Georgie-boy! | 1:01:31 | 1:01:33 | |
So, er, I think you've got a tear in the bilateral valve. | 1:01:33 | 1:01:36 | |
15, huh? | 1:01:36 | 1:01:38 | |
-Genius. -Ah. | 1:01:38 | 1:01:39 | |
-WOMAN: -Hola, ninos. | 1:01:39 | 1:01:41 | |
Jorge, what did I tell you? | 1:01:41 | 1:01:42 | |
No more tinkering until you finish your science homework. | 1:01:42 | 1:01:45 | |
Oh! Er... I was gonna finish it, | 1:01:45 | 1:01:49 | |
but, er, Mr Gerson is out with, er, rickets. | 1:01:49 | 1:01:53 | |
He said definitely don't do it until his rickets are cured, | 1:01:53 | 1:01:56 | |
and, you know, I-I really, really... | 1:01:56 | 1:01:58 | |
Ay, dios mio, who knows | 1:01:58 | 1:01:59 | |
if he's ever telling the truth? | 1:01:59 | 1:02:02 | |
Bernie? | 1:02:02 | 1:02:03 | |
Si? | 1:02:03 | 1:02:04 | |
I made Chimichangas. You guys want? | 1:02:04 | 1:02:05 | |
Ooh! | 1:02:05 | 1:02:06 | |
Oh, have you ever known me | 1:02:06 | 1:02:07 | |
to turn down a Chimi? | 1:02:07 | 1:02:09 | |
Jack, you in the mood, amigo? | 1:02:09 | 1:02:11 | |
No, thanks. | 1:02:11 | 1:02:13 | |
Why are you looking at me funny? I-I-I said... | 1:02:15 | 1:02:18 | |
Oh, no, no, you just look like somebody I know. | 1:02:18 | 1:02:21 | |
No, no, no, no. Tadpole. Tadpole. | 1:02:23 | 1:02:25 | |
Can you say "tadpole"? | 1:02:25 | 1:02:26 | |
"Mad roll", don't say... | 1:02:26 | 1:02:27 | |
Ass...hooole. | 1:02:27 | 1:02:29 | |
No, "Jack's mole". Cos Jack has a big mole on his face. | 1:02:29 | 1:02:32 | |
Is your father a mechanic? | 1:02:32 | 1:02:34 | |
Oh, I don't know. I never met him. | 1:02:34 | 1:02:35 | |
Never met your dad, huh? | 1:02:35 | 1:02:37 | |
Well, that's unfortunate. But very interesting. | 1:02:37 | 1:02:41 | |
You mind if I take a picture of you? | 1:02:41 | 1:02:42 | |
You know, just for fun. | 1:02:42 | 1:02:44 | |
OK. | 1:02:44 | 1:02:45 | |
SHUTTER CLICKS REPEATEDLY | 1:02:45 | 1:02:48 | |
# Mr Moose likes to say good words | 1:02:49 | 1:02:52 | |
# He doesn't like you to say | 1:02:52 | 1:02:54 | |
# Bad words. # | 1:02:54 | 1:02:55 | |
Ass...hooole. | 1:02:55 | 1:02:56 | |
PHONE RINGS | 1:02:56 | 1:02:57 | |
OK, just hang on a second there. | 1:02:57 | 1:02:59 | |
CRIES | 1:02:59 | 1:03:00 | |
Ass...hooole. | 1:03:00 | 1:03:02 | |
CRYING CONTINUES | 1:03:02 | 1:03:04 | |
Yeah, hello? | 1:03:04 | 1:03:05 | |
Hi, it's me. How's it going with the little one? | 1:03:05 | 1:03:07 | |
Horribly. He's crying and screaming... | 1:03:07 | 1:03:09 | |
Ass...hoooole! | 1:03:09 | 1:03:10 | |
..and cursing. | 1:03:10 | 1:03:11 | |
-ROZ: -That poor kid is desperate for human contact. | 1:03:11 | 1:03:14 | |
Honey, you need to hold him | 1:03:14 | 1:03:15 | |
and kiss him. Do whatever it takes. | 1:03:15 | 1:03:17 | |
I've been hugging him in secret. Feeding him chocolates, too. | 1:03:17 | 1:03:20 | |
ELMO: Some baby animals live at the zoo. | 1:03:20 | 1:03:22 | |
And you know how Elmo knows this? | 1:03:22 | 1:03:24 | |
Well, his friend visited | 1:03:24 | 1:03:26 | |
a zoo and told Elmo all about it. | 1:03:26 | 1:03:29 | |
All animals have babies. | 1:03:29 | 1:03:31 | |
ENGINE ROARING | 1:03:31 | 1:03:32 | |
LAUGHS | 1:03:32 | 1:03:33 | |
CARS CRASHING | 1:03:33 | 1:03:35 | |
Say hello to my little friend. | 1:03:35 | 1:03:37 | |
COOING | 1:03:38 | 1:03:40 | |
You know, he's probably teething, | 1:03:40 | 1:03:42 | |
so put a dab of rum in his milk and it'll ease the pain. | 1:03:42 | 1:03:45 | |
And he'll go right off to sleep. | 1:03:45 | 1:03:46 | |
You want me to give him a drink? | 1:03:46 | 1:03:47 | |
I'm talking less than a thimbleful. | 1:03:47 | 1:03:49 | |
You don't want Jack coming home to a screaming baby. | 1:03:49 | 1:03:52 | |
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS | 1:03:52 | 1:03:54 | |
COOING | 1:03:54 | 1:03:55 | |
Listen to your mother. Goodbye. I love you. | 1:04:00 | 1:04:03 | |
All right, Mom... DIAL TONE | 1:04:03 | 1:04:05 | |
Hey, Little Jack, I got a surprise for you! | 1:04:11 | 1:04:15 | |
Little Jack? | 1:04:16 | 1:04:18 | |
Mr Moose is looking for you. | 1:04:19 | 1:04:21 | |
Oh, shit. MEOWING | 1:04:21 | 1:04:23 | |
Where the hell did he go? | 1:04:23 | 1:04:24 | |
LJ! | 1:04:24 | 1:04:26 | |
Little Jack! | 1:04:26 | 1:04:27 | |
MEOWING, BARKING | 1:04:27 | 1:04:28 | |
LJ? Little Jack, where are you? | 1:04:30 | 1:04:34 | |
LAUGHING | 1:04:34 | 1:04:35 | |
Does that Jorge resemble anyone you know? | 1:04:35 | 1:04:38 | |
No-one I know. | 1:04:38 | 1:04:39 | |
Hmm. | 1:04:39 | 1:04:41 | |
-GUNFIRE ON TV -Whoa. | 1:04:41 | 1:04:43 | |
COOING | 1:04:43 | 1:04:45 | |
There's something you don't see every day. | 1:04:50 | 1:04:52 | |
PANTING | 1:04:52 | 1:04:53 | |
Focker! | 1:04:53 | 1:04:54 | |
-Focker! -Uh-oh. | 1:04:54 | 1:04:56 | |
OK, I know this looks bad, but I can explain. | 1:04:56 | 1:04:58 | |
What the hell happened? I said no monkey business. | 1:04:58 | 1:05:00 | |
No, there was no monkey business. | 1:05:00 | 1:05:01 | |
No monkey business? You're wearing my breast, | 1:05:01 | 1:05:03 | |
Little Jack is drinking, Moses is sodomising Jinx, | 1:05:03 | 1:05:06 | |
and you're telling me there's no monkey business?! | 1:05:06 | 1:05:08 | |
-What is going on here?! -Hello! We're home! | 1:05:08 | 1:05:10 | |
-You all right, LJ? -Hey, guys. | 1:05:10 | 1:05:12 | |
-Give me the bottle. -Oh, my God. | 1:05:12 | 1:05:13 | |
-Give me the bottle. -What happened to Little Jack? | 1:05:13 | 1:05:14 | |
Looks like his hands are stuck to that bottle of rum. | 1:05:14 | 1:05:16 | |
-Thank you, Dad. -You bet they're stuck! | 1:05:16 | 1:05:18 | |
-Greg? -What? -How did this happen? | 1:05:18 | 1:05:20 | |
And why are you wearing antlers? | 1:05:20 | 1:05:21 | |
It's very complicated. | 1:05:21 | 1:05:23 | |
It's just a little glue. He's fine. | 1:05:23 | 1:05:25 | |
He's not fine! If he had the use | 1:05:25 | 1:05:26 | |
of his hands, he'd tell you that himself. | 1:05:26 | 1:05:28 | |
All right, that's right. | 1:05:28 | 1:05:29 | |
Come on, OK, OK. | 1:05:29 | 1:05:30 | |
Oh, Little Jack. Honey, are you OK? | 1:05:30 | 1:05:32 | |
Greg...? | 1:05:32 | 1:05:33 | |
-Dina, Pam? -Yes, Dad. | 1:05:33 | 1:05:34 | |
Uh, coming. Little Jack? | 1:05:34 | 1:05:36 | |
Honey, I said a thimble, not a bottle. | 1:05:36 | 1:05:39 | |
Oh, Greg. | 1:05:43 | 1:05:44 | |
Hey. How's the little guy doing? | 1:05:44 | 1:05:47 | |
Everything is just as good as new. | 1:05:47 | 1:05:49 | |
Yeah? | 1:05:49 | 1:05:50 | |
Dad, come on. | 1:05:50 | 1:05:52 | |
-ROZ: -Is he all right? | 1:05:59 | 1:06:01 | |
He's asleep. OK. | 1:06:01 | 1:06:02 | |
I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. | 1:06:02 | 1:06:04 | |
You are completely unfit to handle a child. | 1:06:04 | 1:06:06 | |
-It was Barry Poppins. -What kind | 1:06:06 | 1:06:07 | |
of a sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson? | 1:06:07 | 1:06:09 | |
Jack, the baby is teething. | 1:06:09 | 1:06:10 | |
I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain. | 1:06:10 | 1:06:12 | |
-It was your idea? -Yes. | 1:06:12 | 1:06:14 | |
What is wrong with you people? | 1:06:14 | 1:06:15 | |
-Oh, darling... -You people?! | 1:06:15 | 1:06:17 | |
I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums. | 1:06:17 | 1:06:18 | |
Yeah, and look what happened to him! | 1:06:18 | 1:06:20 | |
Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions? | 1:06:20 | 1:06:22 | |
Jack, he was screaming, so I went in and I gave him | 1:06:22 | 1:06:24 | |
-a little attention, OK? -He's learning | 1:06:24 | 1:06:25 | |
to self-soothe. These setbacks | 1:06:25 | 1:06:27 | |
are disastrous for his development! | 1:06:27 | 1:06:28 | |
-Don't exaggerate, Daddy. -Lighten up! | 1:06:28 | 1:06:30 | |
The child is adorable, but you're not | 1:06:30 | 1:06:31 | |
raising Little Buddha over here. | 1:06:31 | 1:06:32 | |
-Mom? -What are you saying? | 1:06:32 | 1:06:33 | |
I'm saying that I've seen that kid eat | 1:06:33 | 1:06:35 | |
at least 15 boogers since he's been here. | 1:06:35 | 1:06:37 | |
And I've got news for you, Jack - | 1:06:37 | 1:06:39 | |
prodigies don't eat their own boogers. | 1:06:39 | 1:06:41 | |
And I have news for you - prodigies don't | 1:06:41 | 1:06:42 | |
come in tenth place every time, either. | 1:06:42 | 1:06:44 | |
-OK, Dad, you went too far. -Uh, I'm sorry. | 1:06:44 | 1:06:45 | |
-That's my fiance. -I have never seen | 1:06:45 | 1:06:47 | |
people celebrate mediocrity the way you do. | 1:06:47 | 1:06:48 | |
Why? Because we love our son? | 1:06:48 | 1:06:50 | |
We hug our son? | 1:06:50 | 1:06:51 | |
Let's get down to it. The truth is, | 1:06:51 | 1:06:53 | |
you are so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think | 1:06:53 | 1:06:56 | |
that it's the Little Jack in you who's crying out for a hug. | 1:06:56 | 1:06:59 | |
The Little Jack in me? | 1:07:00 | 1:07:02 | |
Jack, you have issues. | 1:07:02 | 1:07:05 | |
I'm trying to understand why you run around | 1:07:05 | 1:07:07 | |
with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. | 1:07:07 | 1:07:08 | |
I mean, were you ever breast-fed? | 1:07:08 | 1:07:10 | |
-Mom, stop. -Key question. | 1:07:10 | 1:07:11 | |
My guess is no. | 1:07:11 | 1:07:13 | |
Would you spare me the drugstore psychology? | 1:07:13 | 1:07:14 | |
I mean, it all comes down to that. | 1:07:14 | 1:07:15 | |
Everybody, all right? | 1:07:15 | 1:07:16 | |
Everybody just... | 1:07:16 | 1:07:18 | |
Everybody just stop! | 1:07:18 | 1:07:19 | |
OK?! | 1:07:19 | 1:07:21 | |
Jack, I'm not going to make any excuses. Yes. | 1:07:21 | 1:07:23 | |
Little Jack wouldn't stop crying, | 1:07:23 | 1:07:24 | |
so I gave him some hugs | 1:07:24 | 1:07:25 | |
and I let him watch TV. | 1:07:25 | 1:07:26 | |
I went to answer the phone, I was gone a second. | 1:07:26 | 1:07:29 | |
I came back in, he'd let himself out of the playpen. | 1:07:29 | 1:07:31 | |
He'd put on Scarface | 1:07:31 | 1:07:32 | |
and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. | 1:07:32 | 1:07:34 | |
OK? | 1:07:34 | 1:07:35 | |
-That's it. -Oh, that's it. | 1:07:37 | 1:07:39 | |
Greg just said "that's it", so I feel much better now. | 1:07:39 | 1:07:42 | |
Daddy, would you mind... | 1:07:42 | 1:07:43 | |
DINA: Now, hold on. He gave an explanation. | 1:07:43 | 1:07:45 | |
-PAM: -OK, let it go. | 1:07:45 | 1:07:46 | |
Little Jack is fine, Greg. He's asleep. | 1:07:46 | 1:07:48 | |
-LITTLE JACK ON MONITOR: -..oooh. | 1:07:48 | 1:07:50 | |
He spoke. | 1:07:50 | 1:07:52 | |
-LITTLE JACK: -Ass...hooole. | 1:07:52 | 1:07:55 | |
What? | 1:07:55 | 1:07:56 | |
I don't know. Come on, let's go. | 1:07:57 | 1:07:58 | |
-Did he say what I thought he said? -I think he said it. | 1:07:58 | 1:07:59 | |
Little Jack, what did you just say? | 1:08:00 | 1:08:03 | |
Ass...hooole. | 1:08:03 | 1:08:06 | |
His first word? | 1:08:09 | 1:08:11 | |
It just slipped out of my mouth. | 1:08:15 | 1:08:17 | |
He has a mind like a sponge. | 1:08:17 | 1:08:18 | |
That's enough. | 1:08:18 | 1:08:19 | |
I'm calling a family conference. | 1:08:19 | 1:08:21 | |
That's a great idea, Jack. | 1:08:21 | 1:08:22 | |
Let's finally get your problems out on the table. | 1:08:22 | 1:08:25 | |
No, no, I mean, with my own family. | 1:08:25 | 1:08:26 | |
Would you excuse us? | 1:08:26 | 1:08:27 | |
I'd like to talk to Pam and Dina in private. | 1:08:27 | 1:08:28 | |
Of course, of course. Take your time. | 1:08:28 | 1:08:31 | |
Come on, honey. | 1:08:31 | 1:08:37 | |
I'm not so sure | 1:08:35 | 1:08:37 | |
this wedding is such a good idea. | 1:08:37 | 1:08:38 | |
To say the least, I don't like | 1:08:38 | 1:08:39 | |
what I've seen from these Fockers. | 1:08:39 | 1:08:41 | |
What? | 1:08:41 | 1:08:42 | |
Has Greg ever mentioned the name Jorge to you? | 1:08:42 | 1:08:44 | |
Jor... I don't know what you're talking about. | 1:08:44 | 1:08:45 | |
No. Why? | 1:08:45 | 1:08:46 | |
Because I think your fiance may have | 1:08:46 | 1:08:48 | |
a few skeletons in his closet | 1:08:48 | 1:08:49 | |
that he's not telling you about. | 1:08:49 | 1:08:51 | |
And skeletons don't like living in closets. | 1:08:51 | 1:08:53 | |
Oh, my God. Here we go again. | 1:08:53 | 1:08:54 | |
Dad, listen, you know, | 1:08:54 | 1:08:55 | |
Greg has no skeletons, OK? And listen to me, the wedding... | 1:08:55 | 1:08:58 | |
-Oh, really? -He does not. -You know that? | 1:08:58 | 1:08:59 | |
-Yes, I know that. -I see. | 1:08:59 | 1:09:00 | |
-Will you just... -She knows. -I'm not a child! | 1:09:00 | 1:09:02 | |
-Jack. -This wedding is going | 1:09:02 | 1:09:03 | |
to happen and the sooner you start accepting that, | 1:09:03 | 1:09:05 | |
the better it's going to be for all of us. | 1:09:05 | 1:09:07 | |
I can't talk to you! | 1:09:07 | 1:09:09 | |
Now, wait a second, sweetheart. | 1:09:09 | 1:09:11 | |
And I'm not so sure Roz is a yoga instructor, either. | 1:09:11 | 1:09:15 | |
Jack, you promised that you would behave yourself. | 1:09:15 | 1:09:17 | |
And what you said to those people was really hurtful. | 1:09:17 | 1:09:20 | |
I think you should go up there and apologise. | 1:09:20 | 1:09:23 | |
I'm not going to apologise to them. | 1:09:23 | 1:09:24 | |
Jack. | 1:09:25 | 1:09:27 | |
A little birdie | 1:09:30 | 1:09:32 | |
told me that somebody's going to be a daddy. | 1:09:32 | 1:09:35 | |
-Mom! -I'm sorry, honey, but look at that face. | 1:09:35 | 1:09:37 | |
How could I keep it a secret? | 1:09:37 | 1:09:39 | |
He's so excited about being a grandpa. | 1:09:39 | 1:09:41 | |
What should he call me? | 1:09:41 | 1:09:42 | |
How 'bout Poppity-pop? Pop-a-doodle-do. | 1:09:42 | 1:09:44 | |
OK, OK. Look, look, look. | 1:09:44 | 1:09:45 | |
We don't have to have champagne, OK? | 1:09:45 | 1:09:46 | |
-Why? -Jack's really angry. | 1:09:46 | 1:09:48 | |
I know, he's mad. | 1:09:48 | 1:09:49 | |
He's also a little bit meshuggener. | 1:09:49 | 1:09:50 | |
Come on, honey. | 1:09:50 | 1:09:51 | |
How often do we get to be grandparents? | 1:09:51 | 1:09:53 | |
We are having a toast. | 1:09:53 | 1:09:54 | |
OK, fine. But Dad, this is a secret. | 1:09:54 | 1:09:55 | |
We can't tell Jack till after we're married. | 1:09:55 | 1:09:57 | |
Why? We're honest people. | 1:09:57 | 1:09:59 | |
No! I can't stand this secrecy any more! | 1:09:59 | 1:10:01 | |
-Please be quiet. -Why must we diminish | 1:10:01 | 1:10:03 | |
our joy just because they live in denial?! | 1:10:03 | 1:10:05 | |
-Shush! -Shush! | 1:10:05 | 1:10:06 | |
-Seriously. -Shush, shush, shush! | 1:10:06 | 1:10:08 | |
I promised Pam, OK? | 1:10:11 | 1:10:13 | |
She thinks it'll break his heart if he finds out. | 1:10:13 | 1:10:15 | |
I'm not going to take a drink. | 1:10:15 | 1:10:16 | |
-ROZ: -Your father's right, OK? | 1:10:16 | 1:10:17 | |
This is the 21st century. | 1:10:17 | 1:10:19 | |
Married, not married - there's no shame in fatherhood. | 1:10:19 | 1:10:21 | |
This is the fruit of your loins! | 1:10:21 | 1:10:23 | |
-BERNIE: -That is so beautiful. Say that to him again. | 1:10:23 | 1:10:25 | |
-ROZ: -"This is the fruit of your loins"? | 1:10:25 | 1:10:27 | |
-BERNIE: -Yes. | 1:10:27 | 1:10:28 | |
This is the fruit of your loins! | 1:10:28 | 1:10:30 | |
-BERNIE: -OK, let's toast. | 1:10:30 | 1:10:31 | |
And let's make a sandwich. | 1:10:31 | 1:10:32 | |
And Mom wants to be the cheese. | 1:10:32 | 1:10:34 | |
Jack Byrnes, | 1:10:34 | 1:10:35 | |
-what are you doing? -Ow! | 1:10:35 | 1:10:37 | |
Oh... | 1:10:37 | 1:10:38 | |
What did you do? | 1:10:38 | 1:10:39 | |
You OK there, Jacko? | 1:10:41 | 1:10:42 | |
What's the matter? What happened? | 1:10:42 | 1:10:43 | |
Uh, er... | 1:10:43 | 1:10:45 | |
I was, er, coming to apologise and my back went into spasm. | 1:10:45 | 1:10:49 | |
It's very tender from the horrific football accident. | 1:10:49 | 1:10:51 | |
I feel it. | 1:10:51 | 1:10:53 | |
My god, you're knotted like a pretzel. | 1:10:53 | 1:10:54 | |
You must be in a lot of pain, huh? | 1:10:54 | 1:10:56 | |
I don't mind pain. I learn from pain. | 1:10:56 | 1:10:58 | |
Pain schmain. My fingers are magic. | 1:10:58 | 1:11:00 | |
Come on, let me work out the kinks. | 1:11:00 | 1:11:01 | |
Oh, yeah, that's a lovely offer, Jack. | 1:11:01 | 1:11:04 | |
No, thanks. I'll be fine. Really. | 1:11:04 | 1:11:06 | |
My wife does wonderful body work, Jack. | 1:11:06 | 1:11:09 | |
I don't think he needs it. | 1:11:09 | 1:11:10 | |
MEDITATION MUSIC PLAYS | 1:11:10 | 1:11:12 | |
OK, handsome, | 1:11:15 | 1:11:16 | |
shirt off. | 1:11:16 | 1:11:17 | |
I'd rather have it on. Thank you. | 1:11:17 | 1:11:19 | |
Oh, no dice. No, no, no. | 1:11:19 | 1:11:20 | |
It has to come off. | 1:11:20 | 1:11:22 | |
Aha! Lovely. | 1:11:22 | 1:11:23 | |
You know, most back pain | 1:11:23 | 1:11:26 | |
is psychological. | 1:11:26 | 1:11:28 | |
We carry our emotional baggage | 1:11:28 | 1:11:30 | |
right here in our muscles. | 1:11:30 | 1:11:33 | |
I've been watching you, Jack. | 1:11:33 | 1:11:36 | |
Studying your body language. | 1:11:36 | 1:11:38 | |
And you're a very sensual man. | 1:11:38 | 1:11:40 | |
But I'm not sure | 1:11:40 | 1:11:42 | |
you realise that. | 1:11:42 | 1:11:43 | |
What are you doing? | 1:11:43 | 1:11:44 | |
It's a technique I learned in Hawaii. | 1:11:44 | 1:11:47 | |
It's a lomi-lomi massage, | 1:11:47 | 1:11:49 | |
named after the gentle waves of the Polynesian sea. | 1:11:49 | 1:11:53 | |
The waves go in | 1:11:53 | 1:11:54 | |
and the waves go out. | 1:11:54 | 1:11:56 | |
The waves go in.... | 1:11:56 | 1:11:58 | |
Whoops. Hit some driftwood. | 1:12:00 | 1:12:02 | |
Jack Byrnes, you are a caged lion. | 1:12:04 | 1:12:07 | |
But lions can't be captives | 1:12:07 | 1:12:09 | |
their entire lives. | 1:12:09 | 1:12:10 | |
They have to be free | 1:12:10 | 1:12:11 | |
to roam the bush - free and wild. | 1:12:11 | 1:12:14 | |
Your wife is a hot, sexy tigress. | 1:12:14 | 1:12:17 | |
And she's waiting for you to pounce on her. | 1:12:17 | 1:12:19 | |
Let me hear you roar, baby! | 1:12:19 | 1:12:20 | |
Roar! | 1:12:20 | 1:12:21 | |
GROANS | 1:12:21 | 1:12:22 | |
Your body is talking to me. | 1:12:22 | 1:12:23 | |
It's hungry for action. I can feel it. | 1:12:23 | 1:12:25 | |
Unleash the beast inside you, Jack... | 1:12:25 | 1:12:28 | |
Mom, stop it! You're hurting him! | 1:12:28 | 1:12:29 | |
I am not hurting him. | 1:12:29 | 1:12:31 | |
I am helping him! | 1:12:31 | 1:12:32 | |
-Just don't...don't. -Here you go, Jack. | 1:12:32 | 1:12:34 | |
I don't think you should move just yet. | 1:12:34 | 1:12:35 | |
Jack, come back for an afternoon session. | 1:12:35 | 1:12:38 | |
It'll do you good. | 1:12:38 | 1:12:39 | |
What are you doing? | 1:12:39 | 1:12:40 | |
We were so close. | 1:12:40 | 1:12:41 | |
I could feel it. I was getting through to him. | 1:12:41 | 1:12:43 | |
Mom, the guy doesn't like to be touched! | 1:12:43 | 1:12:44 | |
Because he has the emotional hide of a rhinoceros! | 1:12:44 | 1:12:47 | |
Don't break him down. Just let him be. | 1:12:47 | 1:12:49 | |
I was trying to do you a favour. | 1:12:49 | 1:12:50 | |
You were riding him like Seabiscuit, Mom. | 1:12:50 | 1:12:52 | |
GROANS | 1:12:52 | 1:12:55 | |
GRUNTING | 1:12:55 | 1:12:57 | |
GRUNTS WITH EACH STEP | 1:12:57 | 1:13:01 | |
BONES CRACKING | 1:13:01 | 1:13:02 | |
GRUNTS | 1:13:02 | 1:13:03 | |
BONES CRACKING | 1:13:03 | 1:13:06 | |
BEEPING | 1:13:15 | 1:13:16 | |
HYDRAULIC WHIRRING | 1:13:16 | 1:13:18 | |
BEEP | 1:13:24 | 1:13:26 | |
BEEP | 1:13:29 | 1:13:31 | |
Dial Foxtrot One. | 1:13:39 | 1:13:41 | |
PHONE DIALLING | 1:13:41 | 1:13:44 | |
BEEPING | 1:13:44 | 1:13:46 | |
MARTY OVER PHONE: Alpha Foxtrot One. | 1:13:46 | 1:13:47 | |
Foxtrot One, I need a full comparative DNA analysis on | 1:13:47 | 1:13:50 | |
one Gaylord M Focker, one Jorge Villalobos. | 1:13:50 | 1:13:54 | |
Translation - George...house of the wolves. | 1:13:54 | 1:13:55 | |
MARTY: It might take | 1:13:55 | 1:13:57 | |
a couple of weeks, Santa. | 1:13:57 | 1:13:58 | |
No good, Foxtrot One. | 1:13:58 | 1:13:59 | |
I need a 12-hour turnaround. | 1:13:59 | 1:14:00 | |
I'll secure the physical evidence, | 1:14:00 | 1:14:02 | |
and the handoff will be | 1:14:02 | 1:14:03 | |
at Harry Focker's Good Time Supper Club, | 1:14:03 | 1:14:04 | |
Biscayne Boulevard, 2100 hours tonight. | 1:14:04 | 1:14:06 | |
MARTY: You got it, Santa. | 1:14:06 | 1:14:07 | |
Foxtrot One, out. | 1:14:07 | 1:14:08 | |
BEEP | 1:14:08 | 1:14:09 | |
-PHONE RINGING -# When a little angel... # | 1:14:09 | 1:14:11 | |
-Yellow! -Bernie, | 1:14:11 | 1:14:12 | |
this is Jack Byrnes. | 1:14:12 | 1:14:14 | |
Hey, Jack. Hey, where are you calling from? | 1:14:14 | 1:14:16 | |
I'm in my RV. | 1:14:16 | 1:14:17 | |
Would you have Greg meet me here in three minutes? | 1:14:17 | 1:14:19 | |
-You're in your trailer? -Thank you. Goodbye. | 1:14:19 | 1:14:21 | |
But... | 1:14:21 | 1:14:22 | |
DIAL TONE | 1:14:22 | 1:14:24 | |
Hey, Gaylord! | 1:14:24 | 1:14:25 | |
BERNIE: Jack wants you | 1:14:25 | 1:14:26 | |
to meet him in his trailer in precisely | 1:14:26 | 1:14:28 | |
three minutes! | 1:14:28 | 1:14:30 | |
And I have to tell you, | 1:14:30 | 1:14:31 | |
El Stiffo is really starting to freak me out. | 1:14:31 | 1:14:34 | |
Greg, wait, OK? | 1:14:34 | 1:14:36 | |
Listen, no matter how hard he probes you, | 1:14:36 | 1:14:38 | |
you have to promise that you will not break, | 1:14:38 | 1:14:39 | |
because I am not ready | 1:14:39 | 1:14:40 | |
to tell him that I'm pregnant yet, OK? | 1:14:40 | 1:14:42 | |
Hey, honey...honey. | 1:14:42 | 1:14:43 | |
We shouldn't... What? What? | 1:14:43 | 1:14:44 | |
Let him probe, | 1:14:44 | 1:14:45 | |
cos he's probing a brick wall. | 1:14:45 | 1:14:47 | |
-ROZ: -Now show me how you would like | 1:14:49 | 1:14:51 | |
a romantic evening to go. | 1:14:51 | 1:14:53 | |
Oh, Jack! | 1:14:53 | 1:14:54 | |
Wine and candles. | 1:14:54 | 1:14:55 | |
Gosh, it's not even our anniversary. | 1:14:55 | 1:14:57 | |
Come here, hot stuff. | 1:14:57 | 1:14:59 | |
DINA MOANING | 1:14:59 | 1:15:00 | |
Yes! Yes! | 1:15:00 | 1:15:02 | |
MOANING | 1:15:02 | 1:15:03 | |
-Oh, Jack. -Oh, that was | 1:15:03 | 1:15:04 | |
good, Dina. | 1:15:04 | 1:15:06 | |
Jack! | 1:15:06 | 1:15:08 | |
Down here. Under the bed. | 1:15:08 | 1:15:10 | |
HYDRAULIC WHIRRING | 1:15:13 | 1:15:16 | |
Down here, Greg. | 1:15:16 | 1:15:18 | |
Wow. | 1:15:20 | 1:15:21 | |
Have a seat. | 1:15:21 | 1:15:23 | |
OK. | 1:15:23 | 1:15:25 | |
Watch the panel. | 1:15:25 | 1:15:27 | |
This is incredible. | 1:15:27 | 1:15:29 | |
BEEP, WHIRRING | 1:15:32 | 1:15:34 | |
BEEP | 1:15:34 | 1:15:35 | |
WHIRRING | 1:15:35 | 1:15:37 | |
So, this is like your, er, mobile command centre | 1:15:40 | 1:15:44 | |
for all your spy activities? | 1:15:44 | 1:15:47 | |
Mainly a secure space | 1:15:47 | 1:15:48 | |
for me to spend some alone time | 1:15:48 | 1:15:49 | |
and reflect on my thoughts. | 1:15:49 | 1:15:51 | |
Hmm. Very cool. | 1:15:51 | 1:15:53 | |
Greg... | 1:15:53 | 1:15:55 | |
Yeah. | 1:15:55 | 1:15:56 | |
You'll recall that we had a discussion | 1:15:56 | 1:15:58 | |
earlier in the week | 1:15:58 | 1:15:59 | |
regarding my feelings about family, legacies, | 1:15:59 | 1:16:01 | |
children and so forth. | 1:16:01 | 1:16:02 | |
Oh, yeah, of course I recall, yeah. | 1:16:02 | 1:16:04 | |
Well, I'm gonna just ask you once. | 1:16:04 | 1:16:08 | |
Is there anything you want to tell me | 1:16:08 | 1:16:10 | |
regarding things that might have happened? | 1:16:10 | 1:16:13 | |
Unplanned things? | 1:16:13 | 1:16:16 | |
Things involving the fruit of your loins? | 1:16:16 | 1:16:19 | |
No. | 1:16:22 | 1:16:24 | |
BIRDS SINGING | 1:16:25 | 1:16:28 | |
Well, if he's not going to admit it on his own... | 1:16:30 | 1:16:35 | |
BEEPING | 1:16:43 | 1:16:44 | |
TOUCH TONE DIALLING | 1:16:44 | 1:16:47 | |
LINE RINGING | 1:16:47 | 1:16:48 | |
JORGE: 'Hello.' | 1:16:48 | 1:16:49 | |
Hello, Jorge. | 1:16:49 | 1:16:51 | |
It's Jack Byrnes. Remember me? | 1:16:51 | 1:16:52 | |
'Oh, yeah, sure. You came to the house with Bernie. | 1:16:52 | 1:16:55 | |
'You had that fancy camera pen.' | 1:16:55 | 1:16:56 | |
Yeah, that's right. | 1:16:56 | 1:16:58 | |
Listen, do you have any plans tonight? | 1:16:58 | 1:17:00 | |
'Uh...no.' | 1:17:00 | 1:17:02 | |
Good, cos I'd like to invite you to a party. | 1:17:02 | 1:17:05 | |
INDISTINCT LAUGHTER AND CHATTER | 1:17:05 | 1:17:07 | |
# And if you feel like dancing, dance | 1:17:12 | 1:17:16 | |
# And if you feel like falling, fall | 1:17:16 | 1:17:20 | |
# Cos it will be all right | 1:17:20 | 1:17:22 | |
# Yeah... # | 1:17:22 | 1:17:23 | |
-Hey, sweetie. -Hey. Hi. | 1:17:23 | 1:17:24 | |
-Having a good time? -Uh, no, not really. | 1:17:24 | 1:17:26 | |
No? Oh. | 1:17:26 | 1:17:27 | |
Hey, listen, sweetie, | 1:17:27 | 1:17:28 | |
did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? | 1:17:28 | 1:17:30 | |
Because she keeps on touching my stomach and smiling like... | 1:17:30 | 1:17:32 | |
-Hi. -..like that. -Um... | 1:17:32 | 1:17:33 | |
Yeah. No, I didn't tell her. | 1:17:33 | 1:17:35 | |
She just... She guessed. | 1:17:35 | 1:17:36 | |
-She what? -Yeah. | 1:17:36 | 1:17:37 | |
-And then she told my dad. -Oh, my God. | 1:17:37 | 1:17:39 | |
Stop it. Bernie. | 1:17:39 | 1:17:40 | |
Bernie, stop. Would... | 1:17:40 | 1:17:42 | |
It's not funny. | 1:17:42 | 1:17:44 | |
-I told my mom. -What? | 1:17:44 | 1:17:46 | |
-Yeah. -What... What are you...? | 1:17:46 | 1:17:47 | |
I... I... I... Now your dad's definitely gonna find out. | 1:17:47 | 1:17:49 | |
No, no. No, she knows my dad. | 1:17:49 | 1:17:51 | |
She would never say a word. | 1:17:51 | 1:17:52 | |
No, no, no, but he's very, very suspicious... | 1:17:52 | 1:17:53 | |
-Oh, Greg. -Yeah. Hey. | 1:17:53 | 1:17:54 | |
Hi. | 1:17:54 | 1:17:55 | |
Honey, would you take this to your mother? | 1:17:55 | 1:17:57 | |
It's a wine spritzer. | 1:17:57 | 1:17:58 | |
That's all she drinks now. | 1:17:58 | 1:18:00 | |
OK. You boys have fun. | 1:18:00 | 1:18:02 | |
OK. | 1:18:02 | 1:18:03 | |
HE SIGHS | 1:18:05 | 1:18:06 | |
Nice. | 1:18:06 | 1:18:07 | |
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT | 1:18:07 | 1:18:08 | |
Nice party, isn't it? | 1:18:08 | 1:18:09 | |
Yeah, it is, it's nice. | 1:18:09 | 1:18:10 | |
It's got a nice, festive vibe. | 1:18:10 | 1:18:13 | |
Have you met the, er, some of the cousins? | 1:18:13 | 1:18:15 | |
I met some, yes. | 1:18:15 | 1:18:16 | |
Yeah. | 1:18:16 | 1:18:17 | |
I met some, um... Dom? | 1:18:17 | 1:18:20 | |
Mm, yeah, Dom Focker. | 1:18:20 | 1:18:21 | |
That's my dad's, er, first cousin. | 1:18:21 | 1:18:23 | |
Did you meet, er, his kids, Randy and Orny? | 1:18:23 | 1:18:26 | |
I've met Randy and Orny, yes. | 1:18:26 | 1:18:28 | |
Yeah. Yeah. | 1:18:28 | 1:18:29 | |
Come on, I want to introduce you to somebody. | 1:18:29 | 1:18:31 | |
Come on. | 1:18:31 | 1:18:32 | |
Oh, there he is. | 1:18:34 | 1:18:36 | |
Glad you could make it, Jorge. | 1:18:36 | 1:18:37 | |
Oh, hey. | 1:18:37 | 1:18:39 | |
Thanks for the invite, Mr B. | 1:18:39 | 1:18:41 | |
Greg, this is Jorge Villalobos. | 1:18:41 | 1:18:44 | |
-Hey. -Hey. | 1:18:44 | 1:18:45 | |
-How you doing? -Isabel's son. | 1:18:45 | 1:18:48 | |
Oh, I didn't realise Isabel had a son. | 1:18:48 | 1:18:51 | |
When did she get married? | 1:18:51 | 1:18:53 | |
She's... She's not married. | 1:18:53 | 1:18:54 | |
Oh, he's never met his father. | 1:18:54 | 1:18:57 | |
Oh. I'm sorry. | 1:18:57 | 1:19:00 | |
That's... I mean, that's-that's too bad. | 1:19:00 | 1:19:02 | |
Oh, no, no, it's-it's cool. | 1:19:02 | 1:19:03 | |
My mom said my dad wasn't, like, mature enough | 1:19:03 | 1:19:06 | |
to deal with a kid anyway, so... | 1:19:06 | 1:19:08 | |
Yeah. | 1:19:08 | 1:19:09 | |
So, how do you guys know each other? | 1:19:09 | 1:19:11 | |
Well, this young man is quite the mechanic. | 1:19:11 | 1:19:14 | |
And he's only 15 years old. | 1:19:14 | 1:19:15 | |
Isn't that impressive? | 1:19:15 | 1:19:16 | |
Really? You're 15? | 1:19:16 | 1:19:18 | |
Yeah. | 1:19:18 | 1:19:19 | |
That is impressive. | 1:19:19 | 1:19:20 | |
He's a handsome kid, huh? | 1:19:20 | 1:19:22 | |
Yeah. | 1:19:22 | 1:19:23 | |
Almost like a young, half-Hispanic Marlon Brando? | 1:19:23 | 1:19:26 | |
Well, I'll leave you two guys to talk. | 1:19:27 | 1:19:31 | |
You probably have a lot in common. | 1:19:31 | 1:19:33 | |
Ow. | 1:19:33 | 1:19:34 | |
Well. Hmm. Hmm. | 1:19:41 | 1:19:44 | |
So you're... | 1:19:44 | 1:19:46 | |
15? | 1:19:46 | 1:19:48 | |
Come on, you Fockers! Conga! | 1:20:08 | 1:20:11 | |
Let's conga! | 1:20:11 | 1:20:12 | |
Did you order the Tom Collins, sir? | 1:20:12 | 1:20:13 | |
Is it made with fresh lemon juice? | 1:20:13 | 1:20:15 | |
They're Bermuda lemons, sir, and I squeezed them myself. | 1:20:15 | 1:20:18 | |
Stay safe, Santa. | 1:20:21 | 1:20:23 | |
CROWD CHANTING: Go, Bernie, go Focker... | 1:20:26 | 1:20:28 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 1:20:28 | 1:20:30 | |
LAUGHS | 1:20:30 | 1:20:32 | |
CHEERING | 1:20:32 | 1:20:34 | |
Go Bernie, go Focker... | 1:20:34 | 1:20:36 | |
Yay! | 1:20:36 | 1:20:38 | |
Go Bernie, go Focker... | 1:20:38 | 1:20:40 | |
GLASS BREAKING | 1:20:41 | 1:20:43 | |
I mean, it's romantic out here, don't you think? | 1:20:43 | 1:20:46 | |
The... The moon, the sea. | 1:20:46 | 1:20:49 | |
Isn't it nice? | 1:20:49 | 1:20:50 | |
Mm, yeah, it's nice. | 1:20:50 | 1:20:51 | |
You look very handsome tonight, Jack. | 1:20:54 | 1:20:56 | |
Oh, well, thank you, honey. | 1:20:56 | 1:20:57 | |
What are you doing to my ears? | 1:21:02 | 1:21:04 | |
Nothing. Just... | 1:21:04 | 1:21:07 | |
-BERNIE IN DISTANCE: -Hey! Hey! | 1:21:09 | 1:21:11 | |
I have to go to the bathroom. | 1:21:11 | 1:21:13 | |
I'll be right back. | 1:21:13 | 1:21:14 | |
OK. | 1:21:14 | 1:21:16 | |
BAND PLAY LIVELY TROPICAL RHYTHMS | 1:21:16 | 1:21:18 | |
Hello, Greg. | 1:21:23 | 1:21:24 | |
Hi, Jack. | 1:21:24 | 1:21:27 | |
Did you have a nice conversation with your son? | 1:21:30 | 1:21:32 | |
Jack, I never even met that kid before. | 1:21:32 | 1:21:35 | |
Focker, you've been covering this up from the very beginning. | 1:21:35 | 1:21:38 | |
No, I haven't, Jack. | 1:21:38 | 1:21:40 | |
It's just another one of your crazy theories. | 1:21:40 | 1:21:42 | |
Greg, you're still in the circle of trust, | 1:21:42 | 1:21:46 | |
so I'm gonna give you one more chance. | 1:21:46 | 1:21:48 | |
Are you ready to admit that you've been hiding this from Pam? | 1:21:48 | 1:21:52 | |
No, I haven't. | 1:21:52 | 1:21:53 | |
-You're not hiding anything? -No. | 1:21:53 | 1:21:55 | |
All right? | 1:21:55 | 1:21:57 | |
Oh, Greg. | 1:21:57 | 1:22:00 | |
What are you holding? | 1:22:01 | 1:22:02 | |
What's in your hand? | 1:22:02 | 1:22:04 | |
Nothing. | 1:22:04 | 1:22:05 | |
Jack, I can see in the mirror. What is that? | 1:22:05 | 1:22:07 | |
You've got something in your hand. | 1:22:07 | 1:22:08 | |
-Don't worry about it, Greg. -Is that a needle? | 1:22:08 | 1:22:11 | |
Yes, it is. | 1:22:11 | 1:22:13 | |
You seem tense. I was gonna offer you a sedative. | 1:22:13 | 1:22:17 | |
You're joking, right? | 1:22:17 | 1:22:18 | |
No, I'm not. | 1:22:18 | 1:22:20 | |
HE LAUGHS Jack. | 1:22:20 | 1:22:22 | |
Is that tartar sauce on your shoulder? | 1:22:22 | 1:22:24 | |
Tartar sauce? | 1:22:24 | 1:22:26 | |
GROANING | 1:22:26 | 1:22:27 | |
GURGLING | 1:22:27 | 1:22:28 | |
Why? Oh. | 1:22:29 | 1:22:31 | |
You've been injected | 1:22:31 | 1:22:32 | |
with a highly concentrated dose of sodium pentothal, | 1:22:32 | 1:22:35 | |
street name, "truth serum". | 1:22:35 | 1:22:36 | |
You will have no recollection of this in a few minutes, | 1:22:36 | 1:22:38 | |
and tonight, for the first time | 1:22:38 | 1:22:40 | |
in your life, my young friend, | 1:22:40 | 1:22:41 | |
you are going to be honest. | 1:22:41 | 1:22:43 | |
FOOTSTEPS RETREATING | 1:22:43 | 1:22:46 | |
Keep the pressure on it. | 1:22:46 | 1:22:47 | |
MUSIC PLAYING | 1:22:47 | 1:22:48 | |
LJ COOING Get down, Little Jack. | 1:22:48 | 1:22:49 | |
Get funky. Ooh. | 1:22:49 | 1:22:51 | |
BOTH LAUGH | 1:22:51 | 1:22:53 | |
-Ooh. -Oh. | 1:22:53 | 1:22:55 | |
-Hey there, preggers. -Quiet. | 1:22:55 | 1:22:56 | |
How you doing? | 1:22:56 | 1:22:58 | |
I'm fine. Where have you been? | 1:22:58 | 1:22:59 | |
Oh, I went to the bathroom to pee, | 1:22:59 | 1:23:00 | |
and now I am | 1:23:00 | 1:23:01 | |
talking to you, my fiancee, | 1:23:01 | 1:23:03 | |
who I've delayed marrying for two years | 1:23:03 | 1:23:05 | |
because I didn't want our parents to meet. | 1:23:05 | 1:23:07 | |
BURBLES | 1:23:07 | 1:23:08 | |
What? | 1:23:08 | 1:23:10 | |
What? | 1:23:10 | 1:23:11 | |
What? | 1:23:11 | 1:23:12 | |
You don't like me. It's OK. | 1:23:12 | 1:23:14 | |
I don't like your little red outfit. | 1:23:14 | 1:23:16 | |
It makes you look like a little demon baby. | 1:23:16 | 1:23:18 | |
And maybe I'll get you a little pitchfork | 1:23:18 | 1:23:20 | |
for Christmas, huh? | 1:23:20 | 1:23:21 | |
So we can put you on a can of Underwood ham. | 1:23:21 | 1:23:23 | |
I'm sorry that I can't | 1:23:23 | 1:23:24 | |
make little poop sounds, and I can't make little things | 1:23:24 | 1:23:27 | |
that tell people when I want to do things. | 1:23:27 | 1:23:29 | |
And guess what? | 1:23:29 | 1:23:30 | |
I can make a sign to you, too. | 1:23:30 | 1:23:32 | |
How's that for a sign? | 1:23:32 | 1:23:34 | |
Ooh! | 1:23:34 | 1:23:35 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:23:35 | 1:23:37 | |
Oh, look, Bernie's getting up on the stage. Come on, come on. | 1:23:37 | 1:23:39 | |
And now to say a few words, | 1:23:39 | 1:23:41 | |
one of the great | 1:23:41 | 1:23:43 | |
registered nurses of all time, | 1:23:43 | 1:23:46 | |
Gaylord Myron Focker. | 1:23:46 | 1:23:48 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 1:23:48 | 1:23:49 | |
Come on, let's give it up to Gay! | 1:23:49 | 1:23:50 | |
Give it up to him! | 1:23:50 | 1:23:52 | |
GREG: Bernie | 1:23:55 | 1:23:57 | |
Focker! | 1:23:57 | 1:23:58 | |
I love the shirt, Dad. | 1:23:58 | 1:24:01 | |
Thank you. APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING | 1:24:01 | 1:24:02 | |
All right. | 1:24:02 | 1:24:04 | |
It's great to be here with all of you as I am | 1:24:04 | 1:24:07 | |
about to set sail in my ship of life | 1:24:07 | 1:24:12 | |
with my first mate, | 1:24:12 | 1:24:14 | |
the beautiful young blonde lass over there. | 1:24:14 | 1:24:16 | |
Hey, baby. | 1:24:16 | 1:24:17 | |
I love you, honey. | 1:24:17 | 1:24:19 | |
I still masturbate to Pam. | 1:24:23 | 1:24:25 | |
-ALL GASPING -Greg? | 1:24:25 | 1:24:26 | |
What? It's true. | 1:24:26 | 1:24:27 | |
Honey, what? Come on. | 1:24:27 | 1:24:28 | |
You're hot. Look at her. | 1:24:28 | 1:24:30 | |
Look at those boobs. | 1:24:30 | 1:24:31 | |
Man! | 1:24:31 | 1:24:32 | |
I just want to... | 1:24:32 | 1:24:33 | |
I just want to lather them up with soap and just... | 1:24:33 | 1:24:36 | |
BLUBBERING ..get in. | 1:24:36 | 1:24:37 | |
I love it! Oh! | 1:24:37 | 1:24:38 | |
Man, I just want to... | 1:24:38 | 1:24:39 | |
I just want to nestle in there and just take | 1:24:39 | 1:24:41 | |
a little vacation in there. | 1:24:41 | 1:24:44 | |
Honey. | 1:24:44 | 1:24:46 | |
Honey. What? | 1:24:46 | 1:24:47 | |
I'm sorry. OK. | 1:24:47 | 1:24:48 | |
Excuse me for you being perfect. | 1:24:48 | 1:24:50 | |
Hey, you know who else is great? | 1:24:50 | 1:24:51 | |
That woman over there. | 1:24:51 | 1:24:53 | |
My future mother-in-law, | 1:24:53 | 1:24:55 | |
Dina Byrnes. LIGHT APPLAUSE | 1:24:55 | 1:24:56 | |
# Dina, Dina, bo-bina banana-fana fo-fina | 1:24:56 | 1:24:59 | |
# I love D-D-Dina Byrnes! # | 1:24:59 | 1:25:03 | |
Mm-hmm. APPLAUSE | 1:25:03 | 1:25:04 | |
You know, they say if you really want to know | 1:25:04 | 1:25:06 | |
what a woman's gonna look like | 1:25:06 | 1:25:07 | |
when she gets older, you should look at her mother. | 1:25:07 | 1:25:09 | |
Well, I'm a-lookin', and I'm a-likin'. | 1:25:09 | 1:25:12 | |
WOMAN GASPS | 1:25:12 | 1:25:13 | |
Whoo! Look at her. | 1:25:13 | 1:25:14 | |
Sweetness. | 1:25:14 | 1:25:16 | |
CROWD MURMURING | 1:25:16 | 1:25:17 | |
LAUGHS | 1:25:17 | 1:25:18 | |
Good genes in the Byrnes gene pool. | 1:25:18 | 1:25:21 | |
Hey! Hey, you! | 1:25:21 | 1:25:23 | |
Yeah, you. | 1:25:23 | 1:25:25 | |
Hold on. Pam, I got to tell you something | 1:25:25 | 1:25:27 | |
about... BERNIE MURMURING | 1:25:27 | 1:25:28 | |
..about this little dude right here. | 1:25:28 | 1:25:30 | |
In my first really passionate sexual awakening... | 1:25:30 | 1:25:34 | |
I did, in fact, lose my virginity | 1:25:34 | 1:25:36 | |
to our beautiful housekeeper, Isabel. | 1:25:36 | 1:25:39 | |
Greg, honey, that was in the past, | 1:25:39 | 1:25:40 | |
so why don't you come sit down? | 1:25:40 | 1:25:41 | |
No, no, no, honey. Cos I have to get this off my chest, really. | 1:25:41 | 1:25:44 | |
Sit. | 1:25:44 | 1:25:46 | |
We conceived a child. | 1:25:47 | 1:25:49 | |
ALL GASPING | 1:25:49 | 1:25:50 | |
MAN CLEARS THROAT | 1:25:50 | 1:25:51 | |
His name is Jorge Villalobos. Come up here, | 1:25:51 | 1:25:53 | |
Jorge, come up here. | 1:25:53 | 1:25:55 | |
CROWD MURMURING | 1:25:55 | 1:25:56 | |
Let's lift the veil of mystery. | 1:25:56 | 1:25:58 | |
The fruit of my loins is right here. | 1:25:58 | 1:26:01 | |
Everybody, take a look. | 1:26:01 | 1:26:02 | |
See his face. | 1:26:02 | 1:26:04 | |
He is mine. | 1:26:04 | 1:26:05 | |
Search your feelings, Jorge. | 1:26:05 | 1:26:08 | |
You know it to be true. | 1:26:08 | 1:26:09 | |
Yo soy tu papa. | 1:26:09 | 1:26:12 | |
HE SIGHS | 1:26:17 | 1:26:18 | |
It's OK. I know. | 1:26:18 | 1:26:19 | |
I know. A lot of information. | 1:26:19 | 1:26:21 | |
You let it settle. | 1:26:21 | 1:26:22 | |
Who'd'a thunk it, huh? Come on. | 1:26:22 | 1:26:23 | |
Give that kid a hand. | 1:26:23 | 1:26:24 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:26:24 | 1:26:26 | |
Oh, and, er, Jack... | 1:26:26 | 1:26:28 | |
..Pam's pregnant. | 1:26:29 | 1:26:31 | |
CROWD MURMURING | 1:26:31 | 1:26:33 | |
Focker out. | 1:26:33 | 1:26:35 | |
CROWD GASPS | 1:26:36 | 1:26:39 | |
SNIFFLES | 1:26:55 | 1:26:57 | |
GRUNTS | 1:26:57 | 1:27:00 | |
SOFT GROANING | 1:27:02 | 1:27:04 | |
Hey. | 1:27:07 | 1:27:08 | |
Hey. | 1:27:08 | 1:27:10 | |
What happened last night? | 1:27:10 | 1:27:12 | |
Well, you got drunk and told my dad I'm pregnant. | 1:27:12 | 1:27:15 | |
You revealed you have a 15-year-old son named Jorge. | 1:27:15 | 1:27:18 | |
And, oh, apparently, you have the hots for my mom. | 1:27:18 | 1:27:21 | |
Oh, my God. | 1:27:21 | 1:27:23 | |
I... I... | 1:27:23 | 1:27:24 | |
I mean, is that really true? | 1:27:24 | 1:27:26 | |
I think she's attractive, but... | 1:27:26 | 1:27:28 | |
No, that you have a son you never told me about. | 1:27:28 | 1:27:32 | |
I... Honey, if it... I... | 1:27:32 | 1:27:34 | |
If it is, I never heard about it before last night. | 1:27:34 | 1:27:36 | |
Isabel never said anything to me. | 1:27:36 | 1:27:37 | |
I... I... | 1:27:37 | 1:27:38 | |
SIGHS | 1:27:38 | 1:27:40 | |
I mean, I don't even remember drinking. | 1:27:40 | 1:27:42 | |
You're telling me the truth, aren't you? | 1:27:42 | 1:27:44 | |
Of course I am. Pam, I love you. | 1:27:44 | 1:27:47 | |
I would never lie to you about anything like that. | 1:27:47 | 1:27:49 | |
I love you, too. | 1:27:54 | 1:27:56 | |
And if Jorge really is your son, | 1:27:56 | 1:27:58 | |
then we will make it work. | 1:27:58 | 1:28:01 | |
OK. | 1:28:01 | 1:28:03 | |
I... | 1:28:03 | 1:28:04 | |
Hey, how did your dad react to the pregnancy news? | 1:28:06 | 1:28:09 | |
Well... | 1:28:09 | 1:28:11 | |
just as you'd expect. | 1:28:11 | 1:28:13 | |
Slept in the RV. | 1:28:13 | 1:28:14 | |
He hasn't spoken to anyone since last night. | 1:28:14 | 1:28:17 | |
HORN PLAYING "Puff The Magic Dragon" | 1:28:17 | 1:28:19 | |
-JACK OVER PA: -Pam, we have to leave this island. | 1:28:19 | 1:28:21 | |
Get in the RV right now. | 1:28:21 | 1:28:23 | |
Bernard, get out from under the vehicle, | 1:28:23 | 1:28:25 | |
or I will run you over. | 1:28:25 | 1:28:27 | |
I'm not moving, Jack. | 1:28:27 | 1:28:28 | |
There's a non-violent way to handle this. | 1:28:28 | 1:28:30 | |
What's going on? | 1:28:30 | 1:28:32 | |
Well, your father wants to leave, | 1:28:32 | 1:28:33 | |
and Bernie is staging a sit-in. | 1:28:33 | 1:28:34 | |
Dad, come on, get up. This is ridiculous. | 1:28:34 | 1:28:36 | |
You weren't around in the '60s, man. | 1:28:36 | 1:28:38 | |
This is how we got things done. | 1:28:38 | 1:28:40 | |
-JACK OVER PA: -Pam, Dina, | 1:28:40 | 1:28:41 | |
we have to get off this island. | 1:28:41 | 1:28:42 | |
It's evil. | 1:28:42 | 1:28:43 | |
Jack Byrnes, out of the RV! | 1:28:43 | 1:28:45 | |
You are acting like such a jerk! | 1:28:45 | 1:28:48 | |
Yes! There you go, Jacko! | 1:28:52 | 1:28:55 | |
Yes! | 1:28:55 | 1:28:56 | |
Man, we're gonna have a grandchild. | 1:28:56 | 1:28:58 | |
Come on, we should be celebrating. | 1:28:58 | 1:29:00 | |
How could you not see it? | 1:29:00 | 1:29:01 | |
Greg is completely unfit to handle a child. | 1:29:01 | 1:29:03 | |
He's neglected his own son for 15 years! | 1:29:03 | 1:29:06 | |
-Hey, Jack, I didn't even know he existed. -That's right. | 1:29:06 | 1:29:08 | |
Oh, who knows what to believe with you. | 1:29:08 | 1:29:10 | |
You're dishonest about everything. | 1:29:10 | 1:29:11 | |
You're so much better, Jack? | 1:29:11 | 1:29:12 | |
Why don't you tell everybody | 1:29:12 | 1:29:14 | |
what you did last night to Greg at the party? | 1:29:14 | 1:29:16 | |
Muskrat, Dina. | 1:29:16 | 1:29:17 | |
-Huh? -Oh, stuff your muskrat, Jack. | 1:29:17 | 1:29:19 | |
-He shot Greg with truth serum before his speech. -What?! | 1:29:19 | 1:29:23 | |
Here, I found this in his pocket. | 1:29:23 | 1:29:25 | |
- Here we go again, Dad. | 1:29:25 | 1:29:27 | |
- He did the same thing to Pam's junior prom date. | 1:29:27 | 1:29:29 | |
Oh, my God. | 1:29:29 | 1:29:30 | |
Wait a minute. Yes. Yes! Wait a minute. I... | 1:29:30 | 1:29:32 | |
You stuck a needle in my neck! | 1:29:32 | 1:29:33 | |
You drugged my son?! | 1:29:33 | 1:29:34 | |
- I had no choice. | 1:29:34 | 1:29:35 | |
He refuses to tell the truth. | 1:29:35 | 1:29:37 | |
Because he's terrified. | 1:29:37 | 1:29:38 | |
He thinks he has to impress you! | 1:29:38 | 1:29:39 | |
He's had us trying to impress you, but | 1:29:39 | 1:29:42 | |
in my opinion, Jack, I think it's you | 1:29:42 | 1:29:43 | |
who should be trying to impress us! | 1:29:43 | 1:29:45 | |
Jack, you've insulted me, my wife, my son, | 1:29:45 | 1:29:48 | |
our entire way of life. | 1:29:48 | 1:29:50 | |
I've sat back and taken it, | 1:29:50 | 1:29:51 | |
but now, you've crossed the line, sir, | 1:29:51 | 1:29:53 | |
and I am going to have to kick your ass. | 1:29:53 | 1:29:55 | |
Dad, Dad. | 1:29:55 | 1:29:56 | |
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. -Wait a second. | 1:29:56 | 1:29:58 | |
I'm going to teach this florist some justice, Focker-style. | 1:29:58 | 1:29:59 | |
Dad, calm down. | 1:29:59 | 1:30:00 | |
Just give me a minute to stretch. | 1:30:00 | 1:30:03 | |
No, Bernie, you're gonna hurt yourself, honey. | 1:30:03 | 1:30:05 | |
-Dad, please don't. -We can talk this through. | 1:30:05 | 1:30:06 | |
-Jack, don't retaliate. -Too late for words, Rosalind. | 1:30:06 | 1:30:08 | |
Dad, Dad! No, no. No dance-fighting. Stop. | 1:30:08 | 1:30:10 | |
-ROZ: You're gonna hurt yourself. -This is Capoeira, man. | 1:30:10 | 1:30:12 | |
This is hardcore shit. | 1:30:12 | 1:30:13 | |
Bernard, if you continue, | 1:30:13 | 1:30:15 | |
you will force me to engage you, | 1:30:15 | 1:30:16 | |
and once I begin the secrets of combat, | 1:30:16 | 1:30:18 | |
it will only end with your demise. | 1:30:18 | 1:30:20 | |
Bring it, dawg! | 1:30:20 | 1:30:21 | |
Come on, bring it, come on! | 1:30:21 | 1:30:22 | |
-Stop it! -He's taunting me. | 1:30:22 | 1:30:24 | |
-Dad! -Greg! | 1:30:24 | 1:30:26 | |
What, Bernie, you're gonna snap now? | 1:30:26 | 1:30:28 | |
ROZ: Greg! What? | 1:30:28 | 1:30:30 | |
-Greg, honey, are you all right? -Now look what you did. | 1:30:31 | 1:30:33 | |
-It's your fault. -Oh, he's bleeding. | 1:30:33 | 1:30:35 | |
He's bleeding! He's bleeding, Daddy. | 1:30:35 | 1:30:36 | |
-I was in a trance. -That's it. | 1:30:36 | 1:30:37 | |
Pam, Dina, I'm calling a family conference. Come on. | 1:30:37 | 1:30:40 | |
No, Dad, this is the family, all right? | 1:30:40 | 1:30:42 | |
In a few weeks, I'm not gonna be Pam Byrnes. | 1:30:42 | 1:30:44 | |
I am going to be Pamela Focker! | 1:30:44 | 1:30:45 | |
Or Byrnes-Focker. We haven't totally decided yet. | 1:30:45 | 1:30:48 | |
No, no, no. I'm gonna be Pamela Martha Focker. | 1:30:48 | 1:30:50 | |
I know how that sounds, but-but that's the name I'm taking. | 1:30:50 | 1:30:53 | |
Pamcake, you're upset. | 1:30:53 | 1:30:54 | |
I'm not so sure you're thinking clearly right now. | 1:30:54 | 1:30:56 | |
I'm fine, Dad. | 1:30:56 | 1:30:58 | |
Jack, it's you who is not thinking clearly! | 1:30:58 | 1:30:59 | |
These two kids love each other. | 1:30:59 | 1:31:01 | |
Look. We've been kvelling | 1:31:01 | 1:31:02 | |
about this pregnancy all weekend. | 1:31:02 | 1:31:04 | |
You knew she was pregnant? | 1:31:04 | 1:31:06 | |
We all did, Jack. | 1:31:06 | 1:31:08 | |
Daddy, I was gonna tell you after the wedding, I swear. | 1:31:10 | 1:31:13 | |
Oh. | 1:31:13 | 1:31:15 | |
This was the reason I created the circle of trust. | 1:31:15 | 1:31:17 | |
So we could discuss these things. | 1:31:17 | 1:31:19 | |
But the circle isn't gonna work | 1:31:19 | 1:31:21 | |
if you don't trust anyone that's in it, Dad. | 1:31:21 | 1:31:23 | |
That's right, honey. | 1:31:23 | 1:31:26 | |
Dad! | 1:31:30 | 1:31:31 | |
-Oh, Jack, don't... -No, Dad... | 1:31:31 | 1:31:33 | |
-DINA: -Don't... | 1:31:33 | 1:31:34 | |
-Daddy. -Honey. | 1:31:34 | 1:31:35 | |
-Oh! -Daddy, please. Daddy, | 1:31:35 | 1:31:37 | |
-Where are you going? -Oh, Jack, come on. | 1:31:37 | 1:31:38 | |
-PAM: -Don't drive away! | 1:31:39 | 1:31:41 | |
Jack! | 1:31:41 | 1:31:42 | |
Daddy! | 1:31:42 | 1:31:43 | |
No, Daddy, come back, please. | 1:31:43 | 1:31:45 | |
- Whoa, Jack! - Jack. | 1:31:45 | 1:31:47 | |
-What are you doing?! -Dad. | 1:31:47 | 1:31:49 | |
Jack, please. | 1:31:49 | 1:31:51 | |
PAM SIGHS | 1:31:51 | 1:31:52 | |
It's not that bad. | 1:31:52 | 1:31:53 | |
This is narrishkeit. | 1:31:53 | 1:31:54 | |
PAM SIGHS | 1:31:54 | 1:31:56 | |
PHONE RINGING | 1:31:59 | 1:32:01 | |
- Is it ringing? - There's no answer. | 1:32:10 | 1:32:12 | |
W|ell, let's give him some space. Maybe he's learning to self-soothe. | 1:32:12 | 1:32:15 | |
Roz... | 1:32:15 | 1:32:16 | |
-What? -This is crazy. I'm going. | 1:32:16 | 1:32:18 | |
I'm coming with you, Son. | 1:32:18 | 1:32:19 | |
No, Dad, I can do it myself. | 1:32:19 | 1:32:20 | |
We got to make up time. | 1:32:20 | 1:32:21 | |
I know these roads like the back of my hand. | 1:32:21 | 1:32:23 | |
Come on, let's put this family back together. | 1:32:25 | 1:32:29 | |
Floor it, Gay. I know a shortcut. | 1:32:29 | 1:32:31 | |
We'll beat El Stiffo to the freeway. | 1:32:31 | 1:32:34 | |
You know, I think you make a right up here or a left. | 1:32:34 | 1:32:36 | |
It's either one or the other. | 1:32:36 | 1:32:39 | |
You don't know where we are, do you? | 1:32:39 | 1:32:40 | |
You know, something's wrong here. | 1:32:40 | 1:32:41 | |
This makes no sense at all. | 1:32:41 | 1:32:43 | |
-Dad... -What? | 1:32:43 | 1:32:44 | |
It's a map of Detroit. | 1:32:44 | 1:32:44 | |
Oh, well, that explains it. | 1:32:44 | 1:32:46 | |
Dad... | 1:32:46 | 1:32:47 | |
Punch it, Gay. We're going to catch that dude. | 1:32:47 | 1:32:50 | |
SIREN BLARING | 1:32:50 | 1:32:52 | |
Oh, shit. | 1:32:52 | 1:32:53 | |
OK, come on, come on. Keep going. | 1:32:53 | 1:32:55 | |
-Dad, come on, it's a cop. -What? | 1:32:55 | 1:32:58 | |
Listen carefully. | 1:32:58 | 1:32:59 | |
Let me do the talking. I know how to handle these local cops. | 1:32:59 | 1:33:01 | |
-No, don't - don't do any talking. -Stay in the vehicle. | 1:33:01 | 1:33:03 | |
Don't shush me, I'm a lawyer - come on. | 1:33:03 | 1:33:04 | |
-I'm not shushing you. -You know how many | 1:33:04 | 1:33:05 | |
tickets I've talked myself out of? | 1:33:05 | 1:33:06 | |
Oh, wow, will you look at this yutz? | 1:33:06 | 1:33:09 | |
Don't they have height requirements? | 1:33:09 | 1:33:10 | |
GREG: We're screwed. | 1:33:10 | 1:33:11 | |
-No, we're not. --Don't, don't. | 1:33:11 | 1:33:12 | |
Dad, he said to remain in the vehicle. | 1:33:12 | 1:33:15 | |
Sir, I said to remain in your vehicle. | 1:33:15 | 1:33:17 | |
-BERNIE: -I just want to talk to you | 1:33:17 | 1:33:19 | |
-for one second. -I've given you a lawful order. | 1:33:19 | 1:33:20 | |
Now, let's just talk like friendly Floridians. | 1:33:20 | 1:33:22 | |
If you fail to comply, I will arrest you. | 1:33:22 | 1:33:24 | |
You see, my son's future father-in-law | 1:33:24 | 1:33:26 | |
-Sir, shut it. -Thinks my Gay back there | 1:33:26 | 1:33:27 | |
has a bastard son. | 1:33:27 | 1:33:28 | |
I said shut it! | 1:33:28 | 1:33:29 | |
Shut it. | 1:33:29 | 1:33:31 | |
I know my civil rights, now. | 1:33:29 | 1:33:31 | |
-You know your rights, huh? -Whoa, whoa! | 1:33:31 | 1:33:33 | |
Oh! | 1:33:33 | 1:33:34 | |
-I have sensitive wrists. -Excuse me. | 1:33:34 | 1:33:36 | |
Sir, return to your vehicle! | 1:33:36 | 1:33:38 | |
OK, I don't know what he said, but you can't | 1:33:38 | 1:33:39 | |
-take him seriously. -All right, that's it! | 1:33:39 | 1:33:40 | |
-On your belly! -On my belly?! | 1:33:40 | 1:33:42 | |
You got a hearing problem, freak?! | 1:33:42 | 1:33:43 | |
No, I'm just trying to... Ah! oh! | 1:33:43 | 1:33:45 | |
Now we got two failures to comply. | 1:33:45 | 1:33:47 | |
Now, I need the two of you to remain | 1:33:47 | 1:33:51 | |
on the vehicle. | 1:33:51 | 1:33:54 | |
GROANS | 1:33:54 | 1:33:56 | |
OK, now, here's my plan. | 1:33:56 | 1:33:59 | |
Plan? Dad, no. | 1:33:59 | 1:34:01 | |
It was just a joke. | 1:34:01 | 1:34:02 | |
-HE SIGHS -I'm sorry. | 1:34:04 | 1:34:06 | |
I was... I was just trying to help you, Gay. | 1:34:06 | 1:34:08 | |
I know, Dad. | 1:34:08 | 1:34:10 | |
You're always trying to help. | 1:34:10 | 1:34:11 | |
PHONE RINGING | 1:34:13 | 1:34:15 | |
Talk to me, Marty. | 1:34:17 | 1:34:18 | |
What's the intel on operation living skeleton? | 1:34:18 | 1:34:20 | |
MARTY: 'Focker's not | 1:34:20 | 1:34:21 | |
'the kid's father, Jack.' | 1:34:21 | 1:34:22 | |
Are you kidding me? | 1:34:22 | 1:34:24 | |
I was sure I had that pegged. | 1:34:24 | 1:34:26 | |
'I'm sending you a visual uplink now. | 1:34:26 | 1:34:28 | |
'The dad was a minor league Florida ballplayer. | 1:34:28 | 1:34:30 | |
'His name is Rusty Bridges. | 1:34:30 | 1:34:34 | |
'We all make mistakes, Santa. | 1:34:34 | 1:34:37 | |
'Foxtrot one, out.' | 1:34:37 | 1:34:38 | |
MONITOR BEEPS | 1:34:38 | 1:34:41 | |
HE SIGHS | 1:34:46 | 1:34:47 | |
34 years spent reading other people, | 1:34:47 | 1:34:50 | |
and I get it all wrong. | 1:34:50 | 1:34:51 | |
My own wife - I don't even know what she's thinking, | 1:34:51 | 1:34:54 | |
and my daughter keeps secrets from me. | 1:34:54 | 1:34:56 | |
Sometimes I think | 1:34:56 | 1:34:58 | |
you're the only person I can really talk to, LJ | 1:34:58 | 1:35:01 | |
Ass...hoooole. | 1:35:01 | 1:35:04 | |
I know. | 1:35:09 | 1:35:12 | |
TYRES SCREECHING | 1:35:16 | 1:35:18 | |
-OFFICER: -F-o-c-k... | 1:35:27 | 1:35:29 | |
Fock-are? | 1:35:29 | 1:35:30 | |
GREG: Hey, it's Jack. | 1:35:30 | 1:35:33 | |
-Hey, Jack! that's Jack! Jack! -Hey! | 1:35:33 | 1:35:35 | |
Jack! | 1:35:36 | 1:35:37 | |
Halt! | 1:35:37 | 1:35:39 | |
Jack! | 1:35:39 | 1:35:40 | |
-BERNIE: -Jack! | 1:35:40 | 1:35:41 | |
Jack! | 1:35:41 | 1:35:42 | |
Weaver stance! | 1:35:42 | 1:35:45 | |
GRUNTS | 1:35:45 | 1:35:47 | |
Oh, my God, you shot my son! | 1:35:47 | 1:35:48 | |
Halt! | 1:35:48 | 1:35:50 | |
Your son has merely been stunned by a less-than-lethal weapon. | 1:35:50 | 1:35:54 | |
ELECTRICAL PULSING | 1:35:54 | 1:35:56 | |
Remain calm. | 1:35:56 | 1:35:57 | |
50,000 volts of electricity are now passing | 1:35:57 | 1:36:00 | |
into your skeletal muscle tissue. | 1:36:00 | 1:36:01 | |
Your central nervous system has been incapacitated, | 1:36:01 | 1:36:04 | |
but you will regain motor functions momentarily. | 1:36:04 | 1:36:07 | |
GROANS | 1:36:07 | 1:36:09 | |
Officer, do you mind telling me | 1:36:11 | 1:36:12 | |
why you're arresting these men? | 1:36:12 | 1:36:14 | |
Oh, mercy. | 1:36:14 | 1:36:15 | |
It just gets better and better. | 1:36:15 | 1:36:16 | |
That is none of your business, lookie-loo. | 1:36:16 | 1:36:20 | |
-Gay? -Return to your camper. | 1:36:20 | 1:36:21 | |
At ease, Son. Put away the taser. | 1:36:21 | 1:36:23 | |
-Jack Byrnes, CIA. -C-i-what? | 1:36:23 | 1:36:26 | |
Says here you're retired. | 1:36:26 | 1:36:29 | |
What you gonna show me next, old-timer, your AARP card? | 1:36:29 | 1:36:32 | |
Now, you listen to me, and you listen good. | 1:36:32 | 1:36:34 | |
(What's he doing?) | 1:36:34 | 1:36:36 | |
Don't worry. He'll get us out of this. | 1:36:36 | 1:36:38 | |
-You have no right to talk to me that way. -Stand down, sir. | 1:36:38 | 1:36:40 | |
No, I will not stand down. You will stand down. | 1:36:40 | 1:36:42 | |
I will not stand down! | 1:36:42 | 1:36:43 | |
You will stand down, or you will be working security | 1:36:43 | 1:36:45 | |
in a retirement home in Boynton Beach. | 1:36:45 | 1:36:46 | |
Remain calm. | 1:36:46 | 1:36:48 | |
It's been almost an hour. | 1:36:49 | 1:36:50 | |
You think they caught up with him? | 1:36:50 | 1:36:51 | |
Oh, I'm sure, sweetheart. | 1:36:51 | 1:36:53 | |
If I know Bernie, | 1:36:53 | 1:36:54 | |
they're probably sitting in a cafe | 1:36:54 | 1:36:56 | |
in Little Havana eating Chimichangas | 1:36:56 | 1:36:58 | |
and working out their issues. | 1:36:58 | 1:36:59 | |
SIRENS BLARING | 1:36:59 | 1:37:03 | |
OFFICER: Check it out! | 1:37:08 | 1:37:10 | |
He's got a rubber booby! | 1:37:10 | 1:37:13 | |
GREG: What's going on? | 1:37:25 | 1:37:26 | |
What's going on? I was talking to Judge Goldfarb. | 1:37:26 | 1:37:28 | |
-He's done. We're out. -What are you talking about? | 1:37:28 | 1:37:30 | |
I thought you were making our one phone call. | 1:37:30 | 1:37:32 | |
We don't need it - I ran into the judge in the hall. | 1:37:32 | 1:37:33 | |
I took care of everything. | 1:37:33 | 1:37:34 | |
Yeah, right. | 1:37:34 | 1:37:36 | |
What are you saying, Jack? | 1:37:36 | 1:37:38 | |
Well, I'm saying if you had kept your mouth shut | 1:37:38 | 1:37:40 | |
in the first place, we wouldn't even be in this mess. | 1:37:40 | 1:37:42 | |
I'm a lawyer, Jack. I'm trying to get us out of here. | 1:37:42 | 1:37:44 | |
Well, what'd you do, give the judge a fondue recipe? | 1:37:44 | 1:37:47 | |
At least I'm comfortable enough | 1:37:47 | 1:37:48 | |
in my own skin to cook for my family. | 1:37:48 | 1:37:50 | |
When was the last time you gave your wife breakfast in bed? | 1:37:50 | 1:37:52 | |
When is the last time you gave her anything in bed? | 1:37:52 | 1:37:54 | |
Now you're out of line, Focker. | 1:37:54 | 1:37:55 | |
You are out of line, man. | 1:37:55 | 1:37:57 | |
-You are out of line. -No, you hurt my feelings there. | 1:37:57 | 1:37:59 | |
There's no reason for you to hurt my feelings. | 1:37:59 | 1:38:01 | |
-Could you guys stop it? -He insulted me! | 1:38:01 | 1:38:03 | |
Yeah, well, this isn't about you. | 1:38:03 | 1:38:04 | |
All right? | 1:38:04 | 1:38:05 | |
It's not about either of you. | 1:38:05 | 1:38:06 | |
It's about me and Pam. | 1:38:06 | 1:38:08 | |
We're getting married. That's it. | 1:38:08 | 1:38:10 | |
We're starting our own circle of trust and guess what? | 1:38:10 | 1:38:13 | |
You're not in it. | 1:38:13 | 1:38:14 | |
Well, you can't start a circle of trust. It's my circle. | 1:38:14 | 1:38:17 | |
You know what? you don't have a patent on the circle, Jack. | 1:38:17 | 1:38:19 | |
And by the way, you're not even in your own circle right now. | 1:38:19 | 1:38:21 | |
That is untrue. I say who's in or out of the circle. | 1:38:21 | 1:38:25 | |
Well, I'm confused. | 1:38:25 | 1:38:26 | |
Whose circle am I in? | 1:38:26 | 1:38:28 | |
GREG AND JACK: Nobody's. | 1:38:30 | 1:38:32 | |
Look, we're starting a family, OK? | 1:38:39 | 1:38:41 | |
We're-we're going to have a baby. | 1:38:41 | 1:38:43 | |
I have a 15-year-old son. | 1:38:43 | 1:38:44 | |
You guys got to just put aside your issues | 1:38:44 | 1:38:46 | |
and-and do what's best for us, OK? | 1:38:46 | 1:38:49 | |
SIGHS | 1:38:49 | 1:38:50 | |
Greg, Jorge's not your son. | 1:38:50 | 1:38:52 | |
-What? -I had a comparative DNA analysis conducted last night and I made a mistake. | 1:38:52 | 1:38:57 | |
You made a mistake? | 1:38:57 | 1:38:59 | |
Yes, I did. | 1:38:59 | 1:38:59 | |
-BERNIE: -Wait a minute. | 1:38:59 | 1:39:01 | |
Truth serum, DNA matches. | 1:39:01 | 1:39:02 | |
Who the hell are you, Jack Byrnes? | 1:39:02 | 1:39:04 | |
I'm not really a florist, Bernard. | 1:39:04 | 1:39:05 | |
I was in the CIA | 1:39:05 | 1:39:06 | |
for 32 years, and I retired | 1:39:06 | 1:39:08 | |
right before I met Greg. | 1:39:08 | 1:39:09 | |
Oh, sure. Well, that makes sense. | 1:39:09 | 1:39:13 | |
Bingo, bango, bongo. | 1:39:13 | 1:39:15 | |
Bernie, whY the heck are you still here? | 1:39:15 | 1:39:18 | |
Ira. | 1:39:18 | 1:39:19 | |
Cletus, open up, let these guys out. | 1:39:19 | 1:39:21 | |
Judge, what exactly did he say to you? | 1:39:21 | 1:39:23 | |
He didn't have to say anything. | 1:39:23 | 1:39:25 | |
Dr Roz saved my marriage. | 1:39:25 | 1:39:27 | |
I'd do anything for that woman. | 1:39:27 | 1:39:29 | |
You tell sugar pants | 1:39:29 | 1:39:30 | |
I'll see her in class next week. | 1:39:30 | 1:39:32 | |
Will do, Ira. Thanks. | 1:39:32 | 1:39:34 | |
Well, wh-what can I say? | 1:39:34 | 1:39:36 | |
I'm married to a very powerful woman. | 1:39:36 | 1:39:37 | |
All right, gentlemen, let's go. | 1:39:37 | 1:39:38 | |
-Excuse me. -What? | 1:39:38 | 1:39:40 | |
Can you, er... could you close the cell door? | 1:39:40 | 1:39:41 | |
Focker. | 1:39:41 | 1:39:42 | |
You want to remain in the cell? | 1:39:42 | 1:39:43 | |
We're not done talking yet. | 1:39:43 | 1:39:46 | |
What? | 1:39:46 | 1:39:48 | |
So, what do you think, huh? | 1:39:48 | 1:39:50 | |
Hmm? Can we work this out or not? | 1:39:50 | 1:39:52 | |
OK. | 1:39:53 | 1:39:55 | |
Jack? | 1:39:55 | 1:39:57 | |
Uh...I don't know. | 1:39:57 | 1:40:00 | |
Good enough. | 1:40:00 | 1:40:02 | |
All right, then, er, I think Pam and I should... | 1:40:02 | 1:40:04 | |
should get married this weekend. | 1:40:04 | 1:40:06 | |
This weekend? | 1:40:06 | 1:40:07 | |
Oh, I'm not so sure that's a good idea. | 1:40:07 | 1:40:08 | |
You want to be in the circle or not, Jack? | 1:40:08 | 1:40:10 | |
OK, we'll do it this weekend. | 1:40:10 | 1:40:11 | |
Aw, Jack. | 1:40:11 | 1:40:14 | |
Hey, I think I can get Judge Ira to marry you guys. | 1:40:18 | 1:40:21 | |
Well, I don't think so, Bernard, and if it's all right with you, | 1:40:21 | 1:40:24 | |
Greg, I already have a minister in mind. | 1:40:24 | 1:40:26 | |
# If I were a carpenter | 1:40:35 | 1:40:37 | |
# And you were a lady... # | 1:40:37 | 1:40:40 | |
Oh, my God, Daddy, you didn't. | 1:40:40 | 1:40:42 | |
-JACK: -Well, meeting Greg | 1:40:42 | 1:40:43 | |
made such an impression on Kevin, | 1:40:43 | 1:40:45 | |
he spent eight months in Israel on a kibbutz. | 1:40:45 | 1:40:47 | |
Then he took an Internet course and got ordained | 1:40:47 | 1:40:49 | |
as an interfaith minister. | 1:40:49 | 1:40:51 | |
Now, Jack told me that you were OK with me conducting this ceremony. | 1:40:52 | 1:40:55 | |
I-I hope that's true. | 1:40:55 | 1:40:57 | |
Yeah, yeah, no, I think it's great you're doing it. | 1:40:57 | 1:41:00 | |
I mean, it is a little weird. | 1:41:03 | 1:41:06 | |
Will you listen to me when I say this? | 1:41:06 | 1:41:08 | |
Pam and I did not have one-tenth | 1:41:08 | 1:41:10 | |
of the spiritual connection that you two obviously share. | 1:41:10 | 1:41:13 | |
I mean, I look at you both together, | 1:41:13 | 1:41:14 | |
and you're beautiful. | 1:41:14 | 1:41:15 | |
I get it, OK? | 1:41:15 | 1:41:17 | |
-OK. Thank you, Kevin. -Thank you, Greg. | 1:41:17 | 1:41:19 | |
You're going to be a great mom, Pamcake. | 1:41:27 | 1:41:31 | |
Thank you, Daddy. | 1:41:31 | 1:41:33 | |
TROPICAL THEMED MUSIC AND PAN PIPES PLAYING | 1:41:43 | 1:41:47 | |
And who gives this woman to this man? | 1:41:56 | 1:41:59 | |
I do. Jack Tiberius Byrnes. | 1:41:59 | 1:42:02 | |
Daddy. | 1:42:11 | 1:42:13 | |
-Sorry, Greg. -OK. | 1:42:16 | 1:42:18 | |
She's all yours now. | 1:42:18 | 1:42:21 | |
That was sweet, honey. You all right? | 1:42:27 | 1:42:30 | |
Shalom, everyone! | 1:42:30 | 1:42:32 | |
ALL: Shalom. | 1:42:32 | 1:42:33 | |
Shalom. | 1:42:33 | 1:42:34 | |
Manishma, which is Hebrew for, "What's going on?" | 1:42:34 | 1:42:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 1:42:37 | 1:42:39 | |
Let us begin with the blessing of the wine. | 1:42:39 | 1:42:42 | |
SINGING IN HEBREW | 1:42:42 | 1:42:46 | |
Cute. | 1:42:51 | 1:42:52 | |
GUESTS: Amen. | 1:42:59 | 1:43:01 | |
DOG YIPS | 1:43:01 | 1:43:02 | |
-Kevin. -What? | 1:43:08 | 1:43:10 | |
Yeah, go ahead, have some. | 1:43:10 | 1:43:11 | |
# I'm crazy about my baby | 1:43:11 | 1:43:13 | |
# Crazy about my baby | 1:43:13 | 1:43:14 | |
# Crazy about my baby Crazy about my baby... # | 1:43:14 | 1:43:17 | |
CHEERING # Crazy about my baby | 1:43:17 | 1:43:19 | |
# And my baby's crazy about me... # | 1:43:19 | 1:43:23 | |
They're so beautiful. | 1:43:23 | 1:43:24 | |
Mas vino por la mama. Gracias. | 1:43:24 | 1:43:27 | |
Mm...mm! | 1:43:27 | 1:43:28 | |
Well, hi. | 1:43:28 | 1:43:30 | |
-Rosalind. -Yeah? | 1:43:30 | 1:43:32 | |
I just have to say I underestimated you. | 1:43:32 | 1:43:34 | |
Hmm. | 1:43:34 | 1:43:36 | |
When it comes to relationships, I'm starting to see | 1:43:36 | 1:43:38 | |
that you might actually know what you're talking about. | 1:43:38 | 1:43:40 | |
CHUCKLING | 1:43:40 | 1:43:42 | |
I appreciate that, Jack. | 1:43:42 | 1:43:43 | |
Really. Thank you. | 1:43:43 | 1:43:45 | |
I also was curious about the advice you gave Judge Ira. | 1:43:45 | 1:43:48 | |
Hmm... | 1:43:48 | 1:43:49 | |
Is that... classified information? | 1:43:49 | 1:43:53 | |
I thought you'd never ask. | 1:43:53 | 1:43:54 | |
I'm going to give you a crash course. | 1:43:54 | 1:43:57 | |
OK? come here. | 1:43:57 | 1:44:01 | |
Really? | 1:44:02 | 1:44:04 | |
Uh-huh. | 1:44:04 | 1:44:06 | |
And I do that for how many minutes? | 1:44:08 | 1:44:11 | |
Hey, hey! There's my brother from another mother. | 1:44:11 | 1:44:14 | |
Congratulations, Jacko. | 1:44:16 | 1:44:18 | |
We made it. | 1:44:18 | 1:44:19 | |
Put that away, Bernard. | 1:44:19 | 1:44:21 | |
We're family now. | 1:44:24 | 1:44:27 | |
We're family. | 1:44:31 | 1:44:33 | |
Now if you'll excuse me, | 1:44:33 | 1:44:34 | |
I have some unfinished business to take care of. | 1:44:34 | 1:44:37 | |
Go get her, tiger! | 1:44:40 | 1:44:42 | |
HE ROARS | 1:44:42 | 1:44:45 | |
We Fockerised him. | 1:44:45 | 1:44:47 | |
We sure did. | 1:44:47 | 1:44:48 | |
I'd like to Fockerise you. | 1:44:48 | 1:44:49 | |
SQUEALS | 1:44:49 | 1:44:50 | |
# Crazy about you, baby | 1:44:50 | 1:44:51 | |
# Crazy about you, baby | 1:44:51 | 1:44:53 | |
# Crazy about you, baby | 1:44:53 | 1:44:55 | |
# I know you're crazy about me... # | 1:44:55 | 1:44:58 | |
CHEERING | 1:44:58 | 1:45:00 | |
# Who's going to take my love away, nobody | 1:45:00 | 1:45:02 | |
# Who's going to take my love? | 1:45:02 | 1:45:05 | |
# Who's going to take my love away? | 1:45:05 | 1:45:07 | |
# Who's going to take my love? # | 1:45:07 | 1:45:11 | |
Sweetheart, do we have to hurry like this? | 1:45:11 | 1:45:14 | |
Honey, we're on a covert operation. | 1:45:14 | 1:45:16 | |
The bandleader told me we have 23 minutes | 1:45:16 | 1:45:17 | |
before they cut the cake. | 1:45:17 | 1:45:20 | |
# Crazy about my baby | 1:45:21 | 1:45:23 | |
# My baby's crazy about me... # | 1:45:23 | 1:45:25 | |
Jack, what are you doing? | 1:45:25 | 1:45:27 | |
A little trick Bernie taught me. | 1:45:27 | 1:45:28 | |
# Crazy about my baby Crazy about my baby | 1:45:28 | 1:45:32 | |
# Crazy about my baby | 1:45:32 | 1:45:32 | |
# Crazy about my baby | 1:45:32 | 1:45:33 | |
# My baby's crazy about me | 1:45:33 | 1:45:36 | |
# I'm crazy about my baby | 1:45:38 | 1:45:41 | |
-# My baby's crazy about me. -# | 1:45:41 | 1:45:43 | |
Now, let's find out, | 1:45:52 | 1:45:53 | |
LJ, why the Ferber method isn't working. | 1:45:53 | 1:45:58 | |
TAPE SQUEAKING IN REWIND | 1:45:59 | 1:46:01 | |
CRYING | 1:46:01 | 1:46:02 | |
Oh, hi, baby. | 1:46:02 | 1:46:04 | |
Hi, Little Jack. OK. | 1:46:04 | 1:46:06 | |
Oh, look what I brought you. | 1:46:06 | 1:46:08 | |
Oh, what did I bring? | 1:46:08 | 1:46:11 | |
A chocolate... for the baby. | 1:46:11 | 1:46:14 | |
-GASPS -Yummy. Is that good? | 1:46:14 | 1:46:16 | |
I know you're not supposed to have this. | 1:46:16 | 1:46:18 | |
Grandpa Jack doesn't like chocolate. | 1:46:18 | 1:46:20 | |
But he's a little, you know, wacko. | 1:46:20 | 1:46:21 | |
Don't tell him, OK? | 1:46:21 | 1:46:23 | |
You know what? | 1:46:23 | 1:46:24 | |
I got some cake in the refrigerator. | 1:46:24 | 1:46:25 | |
Later, I'll bring you that, OK? | 1:46:25 | 1:46:27 | |
Chocolate cake. Good boy. | 1:46:27 | 1:46:29 | |
But don't tell anyone, OK? | 1:46:29 | 1:46:31 | |
OK, one more. | 1:46:31 | 1:46:33 | |
TAPE SQUEAKING IN FAST FORWARD | 1:46:33 | 1:46:35 | |
-LITTLE JACK CRYING -You yell and scream | 1:46:35 | 1:46:37 | |
all you want, make noise. | 1:46:37 | 1:46:38 | |
That's what this country's all about. | 1:46:38 | 1:46:39 | |
I think we got a little protester on our hands. | 1:46:39 | 1:46:42 | |
Oh, it figures, I should've known | 1:46:42 | 1:46:44 | |
this was going to go on. | 1:46:44 | 1:46:46 | |
Always question authority. | 1:46:46 | 1:46:47 | |
You have to question everything El Stiffo Grandpa Jack says. | 1:46:47 | 1:46:50 | |
You know why? because he's full of... | 1:46:50 | 1:46:53 | |
He's full of... ah-zooga-zooga-zooga. | 1:46:53 | 1:46:55 | |
Grandpa Jack's full of... | 1:46:55 | 1:46:57 | |
a-poop-a-doop, a-poop-a-doop, | 1:46:57 | 1:46:59 | |
- Oh... - a-poop-ah-doo. | 1:46:59 | 1:47:01 | |
Grandpa Jack is full of... | 1:47:01 | 1:47:03 | |
MAKING SQUIRTING NOISE | 1:47:03 | 1:47:04 | |
TAPE SQUEALING IN FAST FORWARD | 1:47:04 | 1:47:06 | |
GREG: There he is. | 1:47:06 | 1:47:08 | |
Little man Jack. | 1:47:08 | 1:47:10 | |
How you doing? | 1:47:10 | 1:47:11 | |
Can I interest you in a little wodka? | 1:47:11 | 1:47:14 | |
Just kidding. | 1:47:14 | 1:47:15 | |
I'm, like, officially your uncle now, | 1:47:15 | 1:47:18 | |
so I was thinking maybe I should give you | 1:47:18 | 1:47:19 | |
some uncle-y advice. | 1:47:19 | 1:47:21 | |
You know, little hints for surviving in this family, | 1:47:21 | 1:47:23 | |
cos you got to learn to keep secrets | 1:47:23 | 1:47:24 | |
from your psycho Grandpa Jack. | 1:47:24 | 1:47:26 | |
He was really upset when you crawled | 1:47:26 | 1:47:28 | |
out of the playpen, which is why we'd never tell him | 1:47:28 | 1:47:29 | |
that instead of watching you, | 1:47:29 | 1:47:31 | |
I was actually out by the lagoon | 1:47:31 | 1:47:33 | |
smoking a little reefer. | 1:47:33 | 1:47:35 | |
Shh... | 1:47:35 | 1:47:36 | |
SIPS DRINK | 1:47:36 | 1:47:38 | |
Or that whole thing about Pam being "pregnant." | 1:47:38 | 1:47:41 | |
There's no little Focker on the way. | 1:47:41 | 1:47:43 | |
Whole thing was just made up | 1:47:43 | 1:47:45 | |
so Jack would let us get married. | 1:47:45 | 1:47:46 | |
But you got to do what you got to do, right? | 1:47:46 | 1:47:49 | |
That's cute. | 1:47:49 | 1:47:50 | |
It's like a little alligator Tchotchke thing. | 1:47:50 | 1:47:53 | |
What's that in its mouth? | 1:47:53 | 1:47:54 | |
He's got, like, a... | 1:47:54 | 1:47:55 | |
a camera! | 1:47:55 | 1:47:57 | |
GASPS | 1:47:57 | 1:47:59 | |
Busted. | 1:47:59 | 1:48:00 | |
Hi, Jack. | 1:48:02 | 1:48:03 | |
I knew you were there all along. | 1:48:03 | 1:48:05 | |
I was just, er, doing a little show for you. | 1:48:05 | 1:48:08 | |
You know I don't smoke pot or anything and Pam is pregnant. | 1:48:08 | 1:48:10 | |
You should've seen the look on your face, though. | 1:48:10 | 1:48:11 | |
Oh, so good. | 1:48:11 | 1:48:13 | |
Ass...hoooole. | 1:48:13 | 1:48:16 | |
CHUCKLING | 1:48:16 | 1:48:17 | |
Hey, look at me, Jack. | 1:48:17 | 1:48:19 | |
What am I? | 1:48:19 | 1:48:20 | |
GROWLING | 1:48:20 | 1:48:23 | |
I'm a frozen caveman. | 1:48:23 | 1:48:25 | |
Study me, Jack. | 1:48:25 | 1:48:27 | |
GIGGLING | 1:48:27 | 1:48:29 | |
Learn how strange the Focker genetic code is. | 1:48:29 | 1:48:31 | |
We are weird mutants who hug and kiss. | 1:48:31 | 1:48:33 | |
We show emotion. | 1:48:33 | 1:48:35 | |
Jack must learn from us | 1:48:35 | 1:48:38 | |
-and chip away with his chisel -Oh, Focker... | 1:48:38 | 1:48:39 | |
..and hammer of truth. | 1:48:39 | 1:48:41 | |
Ooga booga! | 1:48:41 | 1:48:42 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 1:49:00 | 1:49:04 |