Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House


Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House

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Manhattan...

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New York...

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USA.

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In any discussion of contemporary America

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and how its people live,

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we must inevitably start with Manhattan,

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New York City, USA.

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Manhattan -

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glistening modern giant of concrete and steel,

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reaching to the heavens

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and cradling in its arms seven millions...

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seven millions...

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happy beneficiaries of the advantages and comforts

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this great metropolis has to offer.

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Its fine, wide boulevards facilitate

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the New Yorker's carefree, orderly existence.

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HORNS HONK

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A transportation system second to none

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in passenger comfort.

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Quaint little sidewalk cafes

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make for leisurely, gracious living.

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For its nature lovers,

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the peace and privacy of a day in the sun.

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The city offers delightful changes in climate.

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I suppose you're wondering

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what all this has to do

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with Mr Blandings and his dream house.

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Well, I'll tell you.

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Jim Blandings is part of the fabric of this town.

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Born and raised right here,

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he's as typical a New Yorker as anyone you'll ever meet...

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at least, he was.

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If you want to know the real story,

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I guess I'm your boy.

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My name's Cole, Bill Cole.

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I'm Jim's lawyer and "best friend".

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Jim's one of those bright young fellas

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you see around town.

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College graduate, advertising business,

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lovely wife, two fine kids, makes about 15,000 a year.

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Jim and Muriel Blandings are just like

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thousands of other New Yorkers -

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modern cliff dwellers.

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The morning it all started

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was just another of those crisp September mornings.

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And the Blandings were still asleep.

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ALARM RINGS

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ALARM STOPS

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ALARM STARTS

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ALARM STOPS

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ALARM STARTS

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Yes, yes.

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ALARM STOPS

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Oh.

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WATER RUNNING

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Betsy.

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OK, Dad.

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Joan.

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OK, Dad.

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CHIRPING

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Good morning, Theodore.

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Good morning, Mr Blandings.

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Good morning, Gussie.

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Mmm, thank you.

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Thank you.

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Looking for something?

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My socks.

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Why don't you look in your sock drawer?

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That's where I found my underwear.

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Oh.

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Well, try your underwear drawer.

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I am in my underwear drawer.

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Well, they must be somewhere.

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They can't walk away by themselves.

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Muriel, I thought we had it clearly understood

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that these two...two and a half top drawers were mine.

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I thought... Why...

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Oh.

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The closet.

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That's where they are.

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We put them in the closet.

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Put what in the closet?

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Your socks.

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There didn't seem to be enough room in the drawers...

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Oh, and there's so much of it in the closet.

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So, Gussie and I decided that from now on

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we'd keep them in a basket on the shelf.

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Basket.

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Hmm...

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This...

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Jim, dear,

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I do wish you'd try

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to make a little effort.

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I'll try, dear.

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Oh.

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< CRASHING

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< GIRL SCREAMS

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Father, just one morning, I wish you'd knock!

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I beg your pardon.

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HE COUGHS

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HE HUMS

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# Home, home, home on the range

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# Where the deer and the antelope play

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# Where seldom is heard

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# A discouraging word... #

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MURIEL: # Home, home on the range

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# Where the deer and the antelope play. #

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< Wash cloth, dear.

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Thank you.

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# Where seldom is heard

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# A discouraging word

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# And the skies are not cloudy all day. #

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< Towel, dear.

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If you don't mind, dear.

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One moment.

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Aah!

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Take your time.

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I can spare the blood.

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Did you cut yourself?

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I cut myself every morning.

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I kind of look forward to it.

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Why don't you use an electric razor?

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Can't get used to them.

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Oh, that's silly.

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Bill Cole's been using one for years.

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He hasn't got my beard.

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Bill's beard is just as coarse...

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I am not interested in discussing

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the grain and texture of Bill Cole's hair follicles

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before I've had my breakfast.

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All I said was, why don't you use an electric razor?

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Because I prefer the clean sweep of the tempered steel as it glides...

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No advertising copy, please.

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And hurry up.

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You'll be late for breakfast.

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Who did it? Yes?

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I did.

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Haven't I repeatedly told you

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not to cut up the morning paper

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until I've had a chance to look at it?

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I'm sorry, Father. It's necessary research.

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What's that? Another of Miss Stellwagon's so-called progressive projects?

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Coming through, Theodore.

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Does Theodore have to have breakfast with us?

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Can't you take him in the living room?

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There's just no point sending your children to an expensive school

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if you undermine the teacher's authority in your own dining room.

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I'm not undermining anything.

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I'm in the advertising business,

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and keeping abreast of the times is important to me.

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So is your children's education.

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Well, that's not the point.

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- It certainly is. - Not.

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Bicker, bicker, bicker.

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You drink your milk.

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Joan, every time your father and I

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have a lively discussion,

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we aren't necessarily bickering.

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What is it, Betsy? Another English composition?

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Miss Stellwagon has assigned each of us

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to take a classified ad

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and write a human-interest theme about it.

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I found one typical of the disintegration of our present society.

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I wasn't aware of the fact our society was disintegrating.

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I didn't expect you to be, Father.

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Miss Stellwagon says that middle-class people like us

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are all too prone to overlook...

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Muriel, I know this is asking a lot,

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but just one morning I would like to sit down and have breakfast

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without social significance.

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Jim, you really must take more interest

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in your children's education.

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Can't squeeze blood from a turnip.

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All right. I listen.

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Shoot.

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It's just 16 words.

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I'm going to call it, "A Minor Tragedy Of Our Times."

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Well?

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"Forced to sell. Farm dwelling. Original beams.

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"Barn, apple orchard, trout stream,

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"seclusion, superb view...

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"will sacrifice."

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Go on.

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That's all.

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That's all?

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You don't see it, do you, Father?

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No. A fellow wants to sell his house, so he puts an ad in the paper.

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What did you expect him to do? Take it to the United Nations?

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There must be more to it than that, isn't there, dear?

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Certainly, Mother.

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What some people don't see is the whole sordid picture.

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A poor, honest farmer,

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pushed to the wall by hardship

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until finally, in desperation, he's forced to sell

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and stoops to the crass commercialism

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of newspaper advertising.

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Oh, indeed.

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Newspaper advertising, hmm?

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Crass commercialism?

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Miss Stellwagon says advertising

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is a basically parasitic profession.

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You don't say?

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Miss Stellwagon says advertising makes people who can't afford it

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buy things they don't want

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with money they haven't got.

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Oh, she does, does she?

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Perhaps your Miss Stellwagon is right.

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Perhaps I should quit this basically parasitic profession,

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which at the very moment is paying

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for your fancy tuition

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and those extra French lessons

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and that progressive summer camp

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to say nothing of the very braces on your back teeth.

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Jim, I wish you wouldn't discuss money

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in front of the children.

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Why not? They spend enough of it.

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Bicker, bicker, bicker.

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Girls, get your things and run along.

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You'll be late for school.

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Bye, Daddy.

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Give my regards to Miss Stellwagon.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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I'll get it!

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Oh, hello. We haven't seen you in ages!

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Hello, Bill!

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Betsy, is your mother up? She's in there.

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Come on, Betsy!

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Wait!

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Bye!

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Morning, Muriel.

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Good morning, Bill.

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Hiya, Jim. Hello, Bill.

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I thought you were going out to Lillie and Paul's for the weekend.

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I am. They're picking me up in a few minutes.

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But I thought I'd better return these

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in case you want to go through with that Funkhauser deal.

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Oh, thanks.

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Cup of coffee, Bill?

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Thanks. I will.

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Personally,

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I think he's 3,000 out of line.

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Yes, I suppose so...

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Of course, you could save that amount

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by not tearing out the living room wall.

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Plus, it's sort of impractical anyway.

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I guess so.

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What wall?

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Who are you talking about? Who's Funkhauser?

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Uh, Bunny Funkhauser.

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Who?

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You remember Bunny Funkhauser, dear,

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that clever young interior decorator

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we met at the Collins' cocktail party.

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You mean that young man

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with the open-toed sandals?

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What about him?

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Well, er...

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you know how long we've said

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we've got to do something about

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fixing up this apartment.

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< Well, a couple of weeks ago he called,

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< and I asked him to come over,

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and he had some simply wonderful ideas.

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And...

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I didn't want to bother you

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with sketches and estimates

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until I knew whether we could afford it,

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so I sent them over to Bill.

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Mm-hmm. How much?

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What's the point in asking how much

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until you know what you're going to get?

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I've seen Bunny Funkhauser.

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I know what I'm going to get.

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Personally, I think

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he's got some fairly interesting sketches.

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He's terribly clever. Look.

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Here's how he sees our living room. Isn't it charming?

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What's that? A shoeshine stand?

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It's a cobbler's bench, dear.

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The room's colonial -

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breakfront, hooked rug, student lamp,

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pie cooler,

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and over here is a Martha Washington desk.

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And where do I keep my powdered wig?

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I think it's perfect. It's us.

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Bunny says we're very American,

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very grass roots, very blueberry pie.

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Don't look at me. Bunny said it.

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Now, the hall...

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How much is all this going to cost?

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Well...

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Well, the figure isn't really accurate,

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because it includes...

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How much?

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Well...7,000, Jim, but...

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7,000!

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Well, that includes tearing out a wall.

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And I quite agree with Bill...

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Oh, you do? You're some lawyer.

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A defenceless woman without the slightest conception

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of the value of a dollar comes to you for advice,

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and the next minute you've got her tearing out walls!

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I am on record as being opposed to tearing out walls,

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and so is the woman.

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If you'd only listen...

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7,000!

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I wouldn't put seven cents into this broken-down rat trap!

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Jim, how can you talk that way? This is our home.

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Betsy was practically born in this apartment.

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That does not make it a national shrine!

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Now wait a minute. When I came in here this morning,

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I had no intention of sending you two to Reno.

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I thought I was doing you a favour.

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And he was. He was showing you how you could save 3,000

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by simply not tearing out a wall.

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I can save 7,000 by not doing anything at all.

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You can save another 3,500

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by not buying her that mink coat.

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And if you don't take that cruise to the West Indies...

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All right, Bill. All right.

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Not a bad day.

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You've already saved 15,000

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and it's not even 9.00.

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See you next week.

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Bye, Jim.

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Bye, dear.

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Have a nice weekend.

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Wait. I'll go down with you.

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All right.

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7,000.

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Blueberry pie.

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Morning, Mary.

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Morning.

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What's that?

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Seems we're in the midst of a situation.

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W-H-A-M. >

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"Wham, a whale of a ham."

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What's it doing here? That's Johnson's headache.

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Not anymore. Mr Johnson is no longer with us.

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Mr Johnson lost the touch.

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Guess whose headache it is now.

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Oh, no. Oh, yes.

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Oh, no.

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On your desk

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you will find a directive from the high command.

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What a morning -

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Bunny Funkhauser, blueberry pie, and Wham.

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How's that? Oh, nothing, Mary.

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Just a private joke between me

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and whoever's going to be my analyst.

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They sent down some of Mr Johnson's handiwork

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before he was drummed from the corps.

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July - "When you've got the whim, say wham."

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August - "For a grand slam in ham, try wham."

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I have some more over here,

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the balance of last year's campaign.

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September's the little gem

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that cost him his job.

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Just a minute.

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Mary, would you spend 7,000

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to tear out someone else's walls,

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when for a few thousand more,

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you could find a nice old place in Connecticut, fix it up,

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and have the kind of dream house you've always wanted?

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I beg your pardon?

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'Well, that's the way it all started.

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'The ad was enough to convince Jim,

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'but Muriel was a little tougher.

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'I guess the corsage did it.

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'There they are,

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'two little fish from New York

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'out in the deep, deep waters of Connecticut real estate.

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'That's Smith, the real estate salesman.

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'Mighty shrewd cookie in a quiet sort of way.

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'Yes, sir. He knows a sucker -

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'I mean customer - when he sees one.

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'He sees one.

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'Well, Smith, looks like you're finally going to

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'unload the old Hackett place...

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'the old, very old Hackett place.'

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Well, folks, there she is.

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It's charming.

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Uh, that is, for an old house.

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Of course, you understand, Mr Smith,

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we're just window shopping, so to speak.

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Nothing definite.

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Oh, perfectly all right.

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Not a bad-looking house,

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but it's a lot older than anything we had in mind.

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Well, she's no spring chicken.

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That's just what makes her such a buy.

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A man's got just about everything he'd need here -

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a nice big hay barn,

0:23:160:23:18

a couple of fruit orchards just over the hill...

0:23:180:23:22

virgin stand oak grove

0:23:240:23:25

other side of the trout stream there.

0:23:250:23:28

The trout stream will give you

0:23:280:23:31

your own pure, clear, cold mountain water.

0:23:310:23:34

Paved highway right to your door.

0:23:340:23:36

Grocer from town delivers twice a week.

0:23:360:23:39

Easy commuting distance,

0:23:390:23:40

58 minutes from New York City.

0:23:400:23:43

Brand-new high school right down the road.

0:23:430:23:46

Yes, sir, 50 mighty pretty little acres.

0:23:460:23:51

Fine old house, too.

0:23:510:23:54

Four family bedrooms, plenty of closet space.

0:23:540:23:57

< However,

0:23:590:24:01

it's not just all these, you know.

0:24:010:24:03

You're buying a piece of American history.

0:24:030:24:06

You don't say? How's that?

0:24:060:24:08

Why, first year she was built,

0:24:080:24:10

General Gates stopped right here to water his horses.

0:24:100:24:12

Old General Gates, huh?

0:24:120:24:14

Civil war.

0:24:140:24:15

Revolutionary war.

0:24:150:24:17

Oh, that General Gates.

0:24:170:24:19

I'm not trying to sell you anything, understand.

0:24:210:24:23

All I'm saying is that one of these days

0:24:230:24:26

someone with a little imagination is going to come along

0:24:260:24:29

and just steal this place.

0:24:290:24:31

And I mean steal it.

0:24:310:24:32

< Guess I don't have to tell you, Mrs Blandings,

0:24:320:24:35

what a woman's touch could do to a place like this.

0:24:350:24:40

Yes, sir.

0:24:490:24:50

You've certainly got to visualise.

0:24:500:24:53

< A couple coats of paint,

0:24:530:24:55

a little pointing up here and there.

0:24:550:24:58

Shall we go up and take a look at her?

0:25:090:25:12

Well, I suppose as long as we're here...

0:25:120:25:15

I guess it doesn't hurt to take a look.

0:25:150:25:19

I'll just see if the keys

0:25:210:25:23

are up there where I left them.

0:25:230:25:25

It does have possibilities.

0:25:250:25:27

You think we can get it?

0:25:260:25:29

Like taking candy from a baby.

0:25:290:25:31

Now, don't lose your head.

0:25:310:25:32

Now, you just keep quiet, dear,

0:25:320:25:34

and let me handle this.

0:25:340:25:35

Tell me, Smith,

0:25:350:25:37

what kind of price is the owner asking for this old place?

0:25:370:25:39

Mm-hmm.

0:25:460:25:48

What do you think, Bill? A steal, huh?

0:25:480:25:51

Steal's an understatement.

0:25:510:25:52

Swindle might be a little more appropriate.

0:25:520:25:55

Oh, well...

0:25:550:25:57

What do you mean?

0:25:570:25:58

Every time you get tight,

0:25:580:26:00

you weep on my shoulder about the advertising business.

0:26:000:26:04

How it forces a sensitive soul like yourself

0:26:040:26:07

to make a living by bamboozling the American public.

0:26:060:26:10

I would say a small part of that victimised group

0:26:100:26:14

has now redressed the balance.

0:26:140:26:16

What are you talking about?

0:26:160:26:18

You. You've been taken to the cleaners,

0:26:180:26:20

and you don't even know your pants are off.

0:26:200:26:23

Darling, I told you, I said we ought to call Bill.

0:26:230:26:26

Now, Muriel...

0:26:260:26:27

All right. Just what's wrong with this deal?

0:26:270:26:29

First time around, you offer 10,000 for 50 acres, right?

0:26:290:26:32

What of it? That's 200 an acre.

0:26:320:26:34

I know that part of Connecticut.

0:26:340:26:36

100 an acre is standard top-gouge price

0:26:360:26:38

to city slickers.

0:26:380:26:40

When the natives sell to each other,

0:26:400:26:42

it's around 40 or less.

0:26:420:26:44

40!

0:26:440:26:46

The man's entitled to a fair profit.

0:26:460:26:48

Not 284%.

0:26:480:26:50

Besides, you're not getting 50 acres,

0:26:500:26:52

you're only getting 35, more or less.

0:26:520:26:54

Where does it say that?

0:26:530:26:55

I refer to a rather obscure postscript

0:26:550:26:58

on the back of the second letter

0:26:580:27:01

from friend Smith.

0:27:010:27:03

"Incidentally, Mr Hackett has been

0:27:030:27:05

"a little optimistic about the acreage.

0:27:050:27:08

"It will probably survey somewhere

0:27:080:27:10

in the neighbourhood of 35 acres, more or less."

0:27:100:27:14

All right. So it's 35. What's the difference?

0:27:140:27:17

Do you know how many tennis courts

0:27:160:27:20

you can get on 35 acres?

0:27:200:27:22

You're not spending 11,500 for tennis courts.

0:27:220:27:25

That's not the point.

0:27:250:27:27

That's precisely the point.

0:27:270:27:28

We going to write this fellow Hackett a strong letter.

0:27:280:27:30

Tell him he can either kick in with those 15 acres,

0:27:300:27:33

reduce the price,

0:27:330:27:34

or find another sucker.

0:27:340:27:35

We'll do no such thing.

0:27:350:27:37

I'm not going to queer this deal over 15 broken-down acres.

0:27:370:27:40

You just don't understand business.

0:27:400:27:41

You mean extortion.

0:27:410:27:43

Now, wait a minute. Put that thing down.

0:27:430:27:46

Look, you can't measure everything on a slide rule.

0:27:460:27:49

This house has certain intangibles.

0:27:480:27:50

Like what, for instance?

0:27:500:27:51

Like antique value, for instance.

0:27:510:27:53

It just so happens that General...Gates

0:27:530:27:55

stopped right there at that very house to water his horses.

0:27:550:27:59

I don't care if General Grant dropped in

0:27:590:28:02

for a Scotch and soda,

0:28:010:28:03

you're still getting rooked.

0:28:030:28:05

That was a different war!

0:28:050:28:06

I think Bill's absolutely right.

0:28:060:28:08

Now, let me explain something to both of you.

0:28:080:28:10

For 15 years I've been cooped up

0:28:100:28:13

in a four-room cracker box.

0:28:130:28:15

Just getting shaved in the morning

0:28:150:28:17

entitles a man to the purple heart.

0:28:170:28:19

That still doesn't make this a good buy.

0:28:190:28:21

Bill, Muriel and I have found

0:28:210:28:23

what I'm not ashamed to call our dream house.

0:28:230:28:26

It's like a fine painting.

0:28:260:28:28

You buy it with your heart, not your head.

0:28:280:28:30

You don't ask how much was the paint? How much was the canvas?

0:28:300:28:33

You look at it, and you say,

0:28:330:28:36

"It's beautiful. I want it."

0:28:360:28:37

And if it costs a few more pennies,

0:28:370:28:39

you pay it and gladly, because you love it.

0:28:380:28:40

And you can't measure the things you love

0:28:400:28:44

in dollars and cents.

0:28:440:28:46

Well, anyway, that's the way I feel about it.

0:28:480:28:50

When I sign those papers on Saturday,

0:28:500:28:52

I can look the world in the face and say,

0:28:520:28:55

"It's mine... my house, my home,

0:28:550:28:57

"my 35 acres."

0:28:570:28:59

Our house, our home, our 35 acres.

0:29:030:29:08

More or less.

0:29:110:29:13

So, Jim cashed in his government bonds,

0:29:180:29:21

gave old man Hackett a 6,000 mortgage,

0:29:210:29:23

and bought the place.

0:29:230:29:25

Then they drove me out to see it.

0:29:250:29:27

MURIEL: This certainly isn't the way we came with Mr Smith.

0:29:270:29:30

What in the world are "Shrunk Mills"?

0:29:300:29:34

Probably mills that have shrunk.

0:29:330:29:35

Seems to me we go left.

0:29:370:29:40

Over the bridge and turn right.

0:29:400:29:42

Left.

0:29:440:29:46

Congress ought to pass a law -

0:30:020:30:04

when a man buys a house in Lansdale county,

0:30:040:30:07

there's a prize.

0:30:070:30:08

He gets 10 per cent off if he can find it.

0:30:080:30:11

Over the bridge and turn right.

0:30:110:30:13

Left.

0:30:130:30:15

You know,

0:30:340:30:35

if you really want to find that house of yours, it's no problem.

0:30:350:30:38

Just pretend that you're one of General Gates' horses,

0:30:380:30:41

and you're very thirsty.

0:30:410:30:43

Where would you go for a drink of water?

0:30:430:30:45

Well, I must admit,

0:31:110:31:13

it's a very beautiful thing.

0:31:130:31:15

The house and the lilac bush at the corner are just the same age.

0:31:150:31:18

If a lilac can live and be so old,

0:31:180:31:20

so can the house.

0:31:200:31:22

It just needs someone to love it, that's all.

0:31:220:31:24

It's a good thing there are two of you.

0:31:270:31:29

One to love it, one to hold it up.

0:31:290:31:32

What did your engineer say

0:31:350:31:37

when he checked the foundation and that roof?

0:31:360:31:39

Who needs engineers? This isn't a train, you know.

0:31:390:31:41

I just saw it move.

0:31:410:31:43

This house has been standing

0:31:430:31:45

since the second year of the Continental Congress.

0:31:450:31:47

You take one look at it, and shingles start to fall off.

0:31:470:31:50

Look, let me do you a favour. I've got a client -

0:31:500:31:52

crackerjack structural engineer,

0:31:520:31:54

Joe Apollonio.

0:31:540:31:55

Practically built the George Washington bridge single-handed.

0:31:550:31:58

Thanks a lot, but we're not building a bridge.

0:31:580:32:00

He's the fellow who advised the government not to raise the Normandie.

0:32:000:32:03

They didn't listen to him. Cost them 5 million.

0:32:030:32:06

You have my word. If I were raising the Normandie,

0:32:060:32:08

I wouldn't make a move without Apollonio.

0:32:080:32:10

Now, would you like to come in and look around?

0:32:100:32:12

No, thanks.

0:32:120:32:14

CREAKING

0:32:190:32:21

CRASHING

0:32:210:32:23

JIM: Muriel!

0:32:240:32:26

­ Muriel!

0:32:260:32:28

I think you'd better get in touch with Mr Apollonio.

0:32:280:32:32

The house has charm, hasn't it, Mr Apollonio?

0:32:340:32:37

Mm-hmm.

0:32:370:32:38

Of course, any small changes would have to conform

0:32:380:32:40

to the character of the countryside.

0:32:400:32:42

MURIEL: And still be functional.

0:32:420:32:44

Uh...what is your professional opinion?

0:32:460:32:49

Tear it down.

0:32:540:32:55

Tear it down?

0:32:550:32:57

If your sills were shot and your timbers was OK,

0:32:570:32:59

I'd say go ahead, fix her up.

0:32:590:33:01

If your timbers were shot and your sills was OK,

0:33:010:33:05

again, I'd say go ahead and fix her up.

0:33:050:33:07

But your sills are shot,

0:33:070:33:09

and your timbers are shot.

0:33:080:33:10

I'll show you.

0:33:100:33:12

Take a look at the way what she leans.

0:33:120:33:15

It has to be level.

0:33:220:33:24

So I say don't throw good money after bad.

0:33:240:33:27

Tear it down. Good day.

0:33:270:33:29

JIM: Thanks a lot(!)

0:33:320:33:34

That's OK. And I'll send my bill to your office.

0:33:330:33:36

Bill Cole and his experts.

0:33:380:33:40

Never mind, darling.

0:33:400:33:42

We'll get our own experts.

0:33:420:33:44

Hmm.

0:33:440:33:46

'And so they got their own experts.

0:33:470:33:50

'Mr Simpson said...'

0:33:500:33:51

Tear it down.

0:33:510:33:53

'On the other hand, Mr Murphy said...'

0:33:540:33:57

Tear it down.

0:33:570:33:58

And that's how our friend Mr Simms came into it.

0:34:000:34:04

He said, "It's possible to fix it up, but why not build a new house?

0:34:040:34:08

"It certainly wouldn't cost any more.

0:34:080:34:10

"Why not look at a floor plan?"

0:34:100:34:13

Here we are. Something like this.

0:34:130:34:16

First floor -

0:34:160:34:17

living room, dining room,

0:34:170:34:18

study, kitchen, breakfast room,

0:34:180:34:20

service porch, maid's room.

0:34:200:34:23

Upstairs - three family bedrooms

0:34:230:34:25

with two adjoining baths.

0:34:250:34:27

Well, it's very nice.

0:34:280:34:31

But don't you think it's a little conventional?

0:34:310:34:34

Yes, Mr Simms, of course,

0:34:340:34:36

if we were going to build a house,

0:34:360:34:39

we'd want it, er...

0:34:390:34:41

just a little bit different.

0:34:400:34:42

Of course, this is just a point of departure.

0:34:420:34:46

You don't have to adhere

0:34:460:34:48

to any of this.

0:34:480:34:49

We're not ready to commit ourselves.

0:34:490:34:52

Oh, no.

0:34:520:34:53

Of course not. I understand.

0:34:530:34:55

If this were my house, I'd, er...

0:34:550:34:58

well, I mean...

0:34:580:35:00

Now, here, for instance...

0:35:040:35:06

JIM: In the study, if we could just push out this wall a little,

0:35:090:35:13

and put in a built-in bar...

0:35:130:35:16

MURIEL: Excuse me, dear.

0:35:150:35:17

These bedrooms are too small.

0:35:170:35:19

We'll have a little dressing room.

0:35:190:35:21

And plenty of closets.

0:35:210:35:23

If there's one thing we need, it's closets.

0:35:230:35:26

Yes, if I might make a suggestion...

0:35:260:35:28

And bathrooms. Each bedroom must have at least one bathroom.

0:35:280:35:32

But that would be four bathrooms.

0:35:320:35:35

I think I...

0:35:350:35:36

I was wondering, could we manage

0:35:360:35:39

a little playroom in the basement?

0:35:390:35:41

Nothing tremendous. Something like this.

0:35:410:35:43

Well, it's always possible, but our fundamental problem...

0:35:430:35:46

And I've always wanted a sewing room,

0:35:460:35:49

a little utility room upstairs, where I could be alone and sew

0:35:490:35:54

or sulk on a rainy afternoon.

0:35:540:35:56

Pardon me.

0:35:560:35:58

Now, Mr Simms, about that playroom,

0:35:580:36:01

room for dodge, ping-pong, nice big poker table.

0:36:010:36:04

If you don't mind...

0:36:040:36:05

Off the kitchen - a little flower sink...

0:36:050:36:08

There should be a terrace off the study.

0:36:080:36:11

Shelves for vases...

0:36:110:36:13

A barbecue...

0:36:130:36:14

Gardening things...

0:36:140:36:15

Roasting thing...

0:36:150:36:17

Oh.

0:36:170:36:18

Well, let's see what we have here.

0:36:220:36:25

In the first place, I'm afraid...

0:36:280:36:30

In the first place, I'm afraid you've got the upstairs twice as big as the downstairs.

0:36:300:36:37

It's all those bathrooms.

0:36:370:36:38

It's all those closets.

0:36:380:36:40

By extending that room, you've no possibility

0:36:400:36:43

of any stairs going up to the second floor.

0:36:430:36:46

I've allowed for that. You can put them in behind the pantry.

0:36:460:36:50

Mrs Blandings, on that sewing room, the way you have it there,

0:36:500:36:54

the chimney stack would come through the middle,

0:36:540:36:57

leaving you with a square doughnut,

0:36:570:37:00

which might be very warm in winter,

0:37:000:37:02

but of doubtful utility.

0:37:020:37:04

Can't you put it somewhere else?

0:37:040:37:07

Look, I think I know what you two have in mind.

0:37:070:37:10

Suppose I make preliminary plans

0:37:100:37:12

and we can get together in a week?

0:37:120:37:15

- All right. - Fine.

0:37:150:37:17

- Holy smoke! - We didn't realise.

0:37:170:37:20

Don't forget, we must hold it down under 10,000.

0:37:200:37:23

That, I can tell you right now, is impossible.

0:37:230:37:26

Even with considerable trimming,

0:37:260:37:29

I don't see how we can bring it in for less than 12,000 or 12,500.

0:37:290:37:33

12,500?

0:37:330:37:35

Oh, well, I guess we're not going to quibble

0:37:350:37:37

about a few pennies.

0:37:370:37:39

By the way, have you any notions how you'd like the old place taken down?

0:37:390:37:44

Why don't we just blow on it?

0:37:440:37:47

Well, so far, it's cost us 13,329.45.

0:37:560:38:01

But we have the nicest vacant lot

0:38:020:38:05

in the state of Connecticut.

0:38:050:38:07

MR SIMMS: Well, something will have to be cut.

0:38:110:38:13

These plans are just too elaborate for the money you have to spend.

0:38:130:38:16

JIM: All right, I'll make the sacrifice.

0:38:160:38:18

You can cut it out.

0:38:180:38:19

(What's happening?)

0:38:190:38:21

(Dad just lost his playroom.)

0:38:210:38:24

As the house stands now, it's over 15,000.

0:38:240:38:27

- Mother, may we put Theodore to bed? - Yes.

0:38:270:38:31

It just doesn't seem possible

0:38:310:38:32

for a house with such small rooms.

0:38:320:38:35

Mrs Blandings, I've already explained,

0:38:350:38:37

it's not so much the size as the number.

0:38:370:38:39

Now, is it absolutely essential for each of your daughters to have her own room

0:38:390:38:42

with two closets and a private bath?

0:38:420:38:45

Yes.

0:38:450:38:46

You see, my daughters are approaching womanhood...

0:38:460:38:49

I didn't realise

0:38:490:38:50

they were approaching it quite so fast.

0:38:500:38:53

Perhaps what you need is not so much a house,

0:38:530:38:55

as a series of little bungalows,

0:38:550:38:57

each with two closets and a private bath.

0:38:560:39:00

Well, what about that silly flower sink?

0:39:000:39:03

- We could lose that.

0:39:030:39:06

- I beg your pardon.

0:39:040:39:06

< Or that sewing room - that's certainly a waste.

0:39:060:39:09

May I suggest that

0:39:090:39:10

neither of these are really major eliminations?

0:39:100:39:12

Now, if you could do with one less bathroom -

0:39:120:39:15

I'm sorry, we couldn't possibly.

0:39:150:39:16

A simple bathroom, 8 x 10 x 8,

0:39:160:39:18

with Grade - A fixtures, will cost around 1,300.

0:39:180:39:21

I refuse to endanger the health of my children

0:39:210:39:23

with less than four bathrooms.

0:39:230:39:25

For 1,300, they can live in a house with three bathrooms

0:39:250:39:29

and rough it.

0:39:290:39:31

KNOCKING

0:39:340:39:36

Why, Bill. Hello, Muriel.

0:39:370:39:39

Well, you've done it again.

0:39:390:39:41

Once...just once...

0:39:410:39:43

why don't you come to me and find out if it's all right, if it's legal,

0:39:430:39:46

before you go barging off and run yourself smack into another jam?

0:39:460:39:48

What's eating you?

0:39:480:39:50

I must say, Simms, I hold you equally responsible.

0:39:500:39:51

JIM: What? What happened?

0:39:510:39:53

MR SIMMS: I don't understand.

0:39:530:39:55

Did you let this idiot

0:39:550:39:56

tear down that house?

0:39:560:39:57

What if he did? What of it?

0:39:570:39:59

Reconstruction was unsound and totally impractical.

0:39:590:40:00

I quite agree, but you're dealing with a man

0:40:000:40:02

who doesn't think before he acts,

0:40:020:40:03

who goes off half-cocked.

0:40:030:40:05

What did I do?

0:40:050:40:06

You're an architect.

0:40:060:40:07

You must have been aware of the legality involved.

0:40:070:40:09

What? What legality?

0:40:090:40:10

You knew there was a mortgage.

0:40:100:40:12

I assumed as much.

0:40:120:40:13

What happened? What are you talking about?

0:40:130:40:15

What did you do?

0:40:150:40:17

I don't know. They won't tell me.

0:40:170:40:18

MR SIMMS: Certainly, but since you were his lawyer, I naturally assumed...

0:40:180:40:21

With him, you don't assume anything.

0:40:210:40:23

Now, just a minute. I'm entitled to know what I did.

0:40:230:40:26

This is America. A man is guilty until he's proven innocent.

0:40:260:40:28

It's the other way around, Father.

0:40:280:40:30

You go to bed. Girls.

0:40:300:40:32

Bill, would you mind telling me

0:40:320:40:34

in clear, concise English

0:40:340:40:36

just what crime I've committed and why.

0:40:360:40:39

In clear, concise English, you tore down a house

0:40:390:40:42

on which another man holds a mortgage

0:40:410:40:44

without first getting his written permission.

0:40:440:40:46

I did?

0:40:460:40:47

And in such case,

0:40:470:40:49

the mortgagee can demand full payment of said mortgage.

0:40:490:40:52

Mr Ephemus Hackett so demands.

0:40:520:40:54

6,000 clams.

0:40:540:40:55

And he wants them now.

0:40:550:40:57

Now? You've got ten days.

0:40:570:41:00

Miss Stellwagon says the problems of the parents

0:41:000:41:03

should be the problems of the children.

0:41:030:41:06

Well, you keep that in mind, dear.

0:41:060:41:07

It will help prepare you for motherhood.

0:41:070:41:09

Perhaps we'd better let the plans go for the time being.

0:41:090:41:11

No, Simms, I'll work this out.

0:41:110:41:13

You go ahead with your final plans, and let's see some estimates.

0:41:130:41:15

Very well. You'll hear from me as soon as possible.

0:41:150:41:17

Good night. Good night, Mr Cole.

0:41:170:41:18

Good night.

0:41:180:41:19

6,000.

0:41:190:41:20

MURIEL: Good night, Mr Simms.

0:41:200:41:22

MR SIMMS: Good night, Mrs Blandings.

0:41:220:41:23

What are you going to do

0:41:230:41:25

about the collateral on your building loan?

0:41:250:41:26

I don't know.

0:41:260:41:28

Turn in my insurance policies or something.

0:41:280:41:29

- Jim, you can't do that. - Why not?

0:41:290:41:32

If anything should happen,

0:41:320:41:33

the children would be left unprotected.

0:41:330:41:36

I'm not dead yet.

0:41:360:41:37

Well, of course you're not.

0:41:370:41:39

I'll see the boys at the bank.

0:41:390:41:41

Maybe you can put up your insurance as collateral.

0:41:410:41:43

If necessary...

0:41:430:41:45

I'll sign a personal note.

0:41:450:41:47

Thanks, Bill.

0:41:470:41:50

Well, I got to run along.

0:41:500:41:52

Jim, do me a little favour, will you?

0:41:520:41:55

The next time you're gonna do anything

0:41:550:41:57

or say anything, or buy anything,

0:41:570:41:59

think it over very carefully.

0:41:590:42:01

When you're sure you're right,

0:42:010:42:03

forget the whole thing.

0:42:020:42:04

Good night, Muriel.

0:42:070:42:09

Good night, Bill.

0:42:090:42:10

Hmm...

0:42:130:42:15

What a wonderful friend.

0:42:170:42:19

What's with all this kissing

0:42:190:42:21

all of a sudden?

0:42:210:42:22

What's that?

0:42:220:42:23

Just because a man is helpful in a business way,

0:42:230:42:27

it doesn't give him

0:42:260:42:28

extracurricular privileges with my wife.

0:42:280:42:30

That's a fine thing to say

0:42:300:42:32

about a friend of 15 years.

0:42:320:42:35

Well, I just don't like it.

0:42:350:42:36

Every time he goes out of this house,

0:42:360:42:38

he shakes my hand and he kisses you.

0:42:370:42:40

Would you prefer it the other way around?

0:42:400:42:43

Why is he always hanging around?

0:42:430:42:46

Why doesn't he ever get married or something?

0:42:460:42:48

Because he can't find another girl as pretty, sweet and wholesome as I am.

0:42:480:42:52

Darling, let's not be silly about this.

0:42:570:43:00

It isn't Bill,

0:43:000:43:01

it's the house that's upsetting you.

0:43:010:43:03

I suppose so.

0:43:050:43:06

Do you think it's worth all this?

0:43:060:43:09

Of course it is.

0:43:090:43:11

It isn't a house we're building,

0:43:110:43:13

it's a home...

0:43:130:43:14

for ourselves and our children...

0:43:140:43:16

and maybe our children's children.

0:43:160:43:19

Each with two closets and a private bath.

0:43:200:43:23

Well, here are the estimates.

0:43:300:43:32

But before you look at them, I think I better explain.

0:43:320:43:34

Don't bother, Mr Simms.

0:43:340:43:35

We're getting to be old hands at this sort of thing.

0:43:350:43:37

Ah...

0:43:370:43:39

Of course, these bids are obviously way out of line.

0:43:450:43:48

That is, all except John Retch & son at 21,000.

0:43:480:43:50

21,000!

0:43:500:43:52

And with some judicious cutting,

0:43:520:43:53

I think we could pare that down to 18.

0:43:530:43:56

But we've only asked for the barest necessities.

0:43:560:43:59

Frankly, with all the extras that you two...

0:43:590:44:01

Never mind, Mr Simms.

0:44:010:44:02

If you'll send us a bill for your services,

0:44:020:44:04

I'll see it's taken care of.

0:44:040:44:06

Goodbye, Mr Simms.

0:44:060:44:07

Oh, but one moment, Mr Blandings, in the first place...

0:44:070:44:09

In the first place, I am going out to get my head examined.

0:44:090:44:12

Then, if I don't jump off the Brooklyn bridge,

0:44:120:44:14

I'm going to find the owner of our apartment building

0:44:140:44:18

and sign a 20-year lease. Goodbye.

0:44:180:44:20

Goodbye, sir. Goodbye, Mr Simms.

0:44:200:44:22

Goodbye, Mrs Blandings.

0:44:220:44:24

Do you think you could keep it down to 18,000?

0:44:520:44:56

Well, things are certainly humming.

0:45:300:45:31

What? I said "humming".

0:45:310:45:33

Oh.

0:45:330:45:34

Oh, there's my contractor, Mr Retch.

0:45:340:45:36

I'll introduce you.

0:45:360:45:39

We ordered that stuff over a month ago.

0:45:390:45:40

Get down to the freight office.

0:45:400:45:41

JOE: Hello, Mr Retch.

0:45:410:45:42

Hi.

0:45:420:45:43

Got a lot on his mind.

0:45:430:45:46

Hey, get out of the way. You want to get killed?

0:45:480:45:51

What's going on over there?

0:46:010:46:03

That's Mr Tesander. He's digging our well.

0:46:030:46:05

How long does that go on?

0:46:120:46:15

Three weeks now, at 4.50 a foot.

0:46:150:46:17

I think I'd better have a little talk with Mr Tesander.

0:46:170:46:21

Mr Tesander?

0:46:230:46:25

Mr Tesander!

0:46:260:46:28

Yep?

0:46:310:46:32

How's it coming?

0:46:320:46:34

It's coming.

0:46:340:46:35

Mr Tesander?

0:46:390:46:40

Yep?

0:46:470:46:48

What I meant was,

0:46:480:46:49

how far down are you?

0:46:490:46:51

Oh, about 130 feet.

0:46:510:46:54

Isn't that pretty deep?

0:46:540:46:55

Yep.

0:46:550:46:57

I mean, do you think perhaps you ought to try another spot?

0:46:570:47:01

Up to you.

0:47:010:47:03

Well... haven't you hit anything yet at all?

0:47:030:47:07

Hit some limestone yesterday.

0:47:070:47:10

That's good? >

0:47:100:47:11

That's bad.

0:47:110:47:13

Oh.

0:47:130:47:14

Right now, looks like we're coming into some shale.

0:47:140:47:17

That's bad?

0:47:170:47:18

< That's good.

0:47:180:47:20

Oh.

0:47:200:47:21

Of course, it might turn out to be sandstone.

0:47:210:47:23

JIM: That's bad.

0:47:230:47:25

Can't tell.

0:47:260:47:27

Might be good, might be bad.

0:47:270:47:30

One thing you know,

0:47:300:47:31

you got plenty shale, sandstone, and limestone.

0:47:310:47:34

I see.

0:47:340:47:36

MURIEL: Mr Tesander.

0:47:360:47:37

How do you do?

0:47:370:47:39

How do you do?

0:47:380:47:40

Just for the record, of course,

0:47:400:47:41

what happened to water?

0:47:410:47:43

Oh, it's there, all right.

0:47:430:47:45

Just got to be patient.

0:47:450:47:47

YELLING IN ITALIAN

0:47:520:47:53

What's wrong with the steam shovel?

0:47:550:47:57

I better go and take a look.

0:47:570:47:59

Jim! Come here.

0:47:590:48:02

Thank you.

0:48:030:48:05

YELLING IN ITALIAN

0:48:080:48:09

What's the matter, Mr Zucca, something wrong?

0:48:100:48:13

How do you like that?

0:48:130:48:14

I broke my bucket.

0:48:140:48:15

Two times this week I broke my bucket.

0:48:150:48:18

What did you do? Hit a boulder?

0:48:180:48:20

That's no boulder. That's a ledge.

0:48:200:48:23

What does that mean?

0:48:230:48:24

Means we got to blast.

0:48:240:48:26

- Blast? - Blast...

0:48:260:48:27

with dynamite.

0:48:270:48:29

What do you mean, dynamite?

0:48:290:48:30

What do you mean, "what do you mean?"

0:48:300:48:32

Mr Zucca explained he has to use dynamite

0:48:320:48:33

to blast to get rid of the rock.

0:48:330:48:36

That's no rock. That's a ledge.

0:48:360:48:39

What Mr Blandings means is, what precisely is a ledge?

0:48:390:48:42

A ledge is like a big stone, only it's bigger.

0:48:420:48:46

Like a boulder.

0:48:460:48:47

No, like a ledge.

0:48:470:48:49

Like a ledge.

0:48:490:48:50

MR ZUCCA: But you don't have to worry.

0:48:500:48:52

It only costs 6.00 a cubic yard,

0:48:520:48:55

plus the dynamite and the fuse.

0:48:550:48:57

How far will you have to blast?

0:48:570:49:00

Hard to tell.

0:49:000:49:02

Might be a little baby ledge,

0:49:020:49:04

might run over top of the mountain.

0:49:030:49:05

At 6.00 a yard, do you realise what that means?

0:49:050:49:08

It means we got to blast.

0:49:080:49:12

With a few minor deviations,

0:49:160:49:17

I know exactly where every penny is going.

0:49:170:49:20

- Is that all? - Yes, thanks.

0:49:200:49:22

Hi.

0:49:230:49:25

Hello, Bill. Come in.

0:49:250:49:26

I've been going over the Knapp contracts with old man Dascomb.

0:49:260:49:30

While I was in there with Dascomb, the conversation kind of got around to you.

0:49:300:49:34

Oh? What is it?

0:49:340:49:36

Well, he didn't say in so many words

0:49:360:49:38

that ever since you started fooling around with that house,

0:49:380:49:41

you haven't come up with one acceptable slogan.

0:49:410:49:44

But...

0:49:440:49:45

But... where is it?

0:49:450:49:46

It's there.

0:49:460:49:47

But since the Wham account

0:49:480:49:50

is the backbone of this agency,

0:49:500:49:52

I kind of felt that he kind of felt

0:49:520:49:55

that if I kind of told you, that you'd know

0:49:550:49:59

TOGETHER: That he knew that you knew...

0:49:590:50:01

What's he worrying about? The deadline is six months off.

0:50:010:50:03

BUZZER Yeah?

0:50:030:50:07

Mrs Blandings calling from Lansdale.

0:50:070:50:09

OK.

0:50:090:50:11

Yes, Muriel?

0:50:110:50:12

What?

0:50:120:50:14

Tesander struck water?

0:50:140:50:15

Say, that's wonderful.

0:50:150:50:17

Bill, we've got our well!

0:50:170:50:19

Congratulations.

0:50:190:50:21

Ha ha! What?

0:50:210:50:23

What's that?

0:50:230:50:24

What do you mean we've got two wells?

0:50:240:50:26

Oh. Oh.

0:50:280:50:30

I'll be right out.

0:50:300:50:31

Come on, Bill.

0:50:310:50:33

So, you hit a spring,

0:50:560:50:57

a bubbling spring, right here in our cellar?

0:50:570:50:59

It will have to be diverted

0:50:590:51:01

before Retch here can pour his cement.

0:51:010:51:03

May take a while. Pumps are over in Jersey.

0:51:030:51:06

Water, Mr Tesander.

0:51:110:51:13

Yep.

0:51:120:51:14

At six feet.

0:51:140:51:15

Yep.

0:51:150:51:17

And just over there, you had to go down 227 feet

0:51:170:51:21

to hit the same water.

0:51:210:51:23

Yep.

0:51:240:51:25

How do you account for that, Mr Tesander?

0:51:250:51:28

Well, the way it appears to me, Mr Blandings,

0:51:280:51:32

over here the water is down around six feet.

0:51:320:51:36

And over there...

0:51:360:51:38

TOGETHER: It's down around 227 feet.

0:51:380:51:42

Yep.

0:51:420:51:44

What's this, another closet?

0:52:380:52:39

This happens to be our living room.

0:52:390:52:41

This isn't the living room, darling.

0:52:410:52:43

The living room's across the hall.

0:52:430:52:44

Then, where's the dining room?

0:52:440:52:46

Well, I think it's...

0:52:460:52:48

Maybe it's this little room here.

0:52:480:52:51

That's the breakfast room.

0:52:510:52:52

That isn't the breakfast room.

0:52:520:52:54

That's the powder room.

0:52:540:52:55

Oh.

0:52:550:52:56

Just where is the dining room?

0:52:560:52:58

It was right here a minute ago.

0:52:580:52:59

We couldn't just have lost it.

0:52:590:53:01

Better put an ad in the paper.

0:53:010:53:04

WORKMAN: I don't get this guy Blandings at all.

0:53:040:53:06

You got to build on the windiest hill in Connecticut,

0:53:060:53:09

why does he have to pick the windiest side of the hill?

0:53:090:53:13

SECOND WORKMAN: You know those New York millionaires -

0:53:130:53:15

easy come, easy go.

0:53:150:53:16

Now, here is the living room, right?

0:53:170:53:21

Yes. There's the fireplace.

0:53:210:53:23

Come right in.

0:53:230:53:25

After you, Rockefeller.

0:53:250:53:27

WORKMAN: Hey, mister.

0:53:270:53:28

- You're the owner here, aren't you? - Yeah.

0:53:280:53:31

Just the man I want to see.

0:53:310:53:33

I'll browse around upstairs.

0:53:330:53:34

On them second floor lintels

0:53:380:53:40

between the lally columns- do you want we should rabbet them or not?

0:53:400:53:43

The, er... second floor lallies?

0:53:470:53:50

Second floor lintels between the lallies.

0:53:500:53:52

Oh, the lintels between the lallies.

0:53:540:53:57

Yeah, from the blueprints, you can't tell.

0:53:570:53:59

Do you want they should be rabbeted?

0:53:590:54:01

No, I guess not.

0:54:030:54:05

OK, you're the doctor.

0:54:050:54:06

Hey, fellas!

0:54:060:54:08

If you got any of them rabbeted lintels set,

0:54:080:54:11

rip them out!

0:54:110:54:13

WOOD FALLING

0:54:150:54:16

It sounded less expensive to say no.

0:54:200:54:23

Stop it! Stop it!

0:54:250:54:27

WHISTLE BLOWS

0:54:270:54:29

OK, fellas. Let's quit!

0:54:290:54:31

Now look what you've done.

0:54:340:54:36

Look, men!

0:54:380:54:40

Mrs Blandings didn't mean anything.

0:54:400:54:42

There's no point in walking off a job

0:54:420:54:45

just because a woman makes a silly little remark.

0:54:450:54:48

Look, mister, it's Saturday. We quit at 12.00.

0:54:480:54:50

MAN: Unless you want us to go on overtime.

0:54:500:54:53

No, very kind of you, I'm sure, but...

0:54:530:54:55

Well, see you Monday, fellas.

0:54:550:54:56

I'm sick.

0:55:020:55:03

From the outside,

0:55:030:55:05

this place looks like a grain elevator.

0:55:050:55:08

On the inside, everything's miles too small.

0:55:080:55:11

BANGING

0:55:110:55:12

What's that? What's what?

0:55:120:55:14

That noise. It's upstairs.

0:55:140:55:15

BANGING

0:55:150:55:17

BANGING

0:55:280:55:29

What happened?

0:55:390:55:40

The door blew shut.

0:55:400:55:41

I got locked in.

0:55:410:55:42

Impossible. I had this closet built especially for myself.

0:55:420:55:45

The lock opens from the inside.

0:55:450:55:47

Maybe for Houdini. Not for me.

0:55:470:55:49

Nothing to it. A child could do it. Look, I'll show you.

0:55:490:55:53

See? It just takes some good old yankee know-how.

0:55:540:55:57

It's possible, darling, the lock works for you and not for Bill.

0:55:570:56:01

Ridiculous. Even you could do it. Thank you.

0:56:010:56:04

Come on. I'll show you. Get in.

0:56:040:56:05

Now go ahead, dear. Just open the door.

0:56:070:56:10

I don't seem to be able to...

0:56:150:56:18

It's perfectly simple.

0:56:180:56:20

You just take the knob and turn it clockwise.

0:56:200:56:24

Nothing like that good old Yankee know-how.

0:56:420:56:45

Hey!

0:56:470:56:48

Somebody let us out of here!

0:56:480:56:51

ENGINE STARTS

0:56:510:56:53

Uh-oh.

0:56:540:56:56

Oh, dear.

0:57:020:57:03

Ahem.

0:57:070:57:09

Huh.

0:57:110:57:13

If I could just get over to that scaffolding.

0:57:130:57:15

It seems a shame.

0:57:220:57:23

I guess it's the only way to do it.

0:57:230:57:26

What are you going to do?

0:57:260:57:28

Don't get panicky, dear.

0:57:280:57:29

I'll get you out of here. Don't worry.

0:57:290:57:31

Stand up, Bill.

0:57:310:57:32

Huh?

0:57:320:57:33

Hold that over the window.

0:57:330:57:35

Stand back, Muriel.

0:57:370:57:38

Ready?

0:57:400:57:41

Roger.

0:57:410:57:43

GLASS BREAKING

0:57:430:57:46

In case of emergency, break glass.

0:57:540:57:57

Come on, Bill.

0:57:570:57:58

That's funny.

0:58:030:58:05

There's no reason why that shouldn't work.

0:58:050:58:08

BANGING

0:58:110:58:12

Oh... Wham again! Yes, sir.

0:58:240:58:26

Muriel, I thought we'd agreed...

0:58:260:58:27

Gussie, from now on, no more Wham for Mr Blandings.

0:58:270:58:30

What about the rest of us?

0:58:300:58:32

I'm sure there are other substitutes...

0:58:320:58:35

bacon, sausages.

0:58:350:58:36

The children like Wham.

0:58:360:58:38

There must be other things...

0:58:380:58:40

Mrs Blandings likes it, too,

0:58:400:58:42

and I consider it very tasty.

0:58:420:58:44

I spend eight hours every day

0:58:440:58:46

trying to cram this stuff down the throats

0:58:460:58:49

of 100 million people.

0:58:490:58:51

I know all about its succulent goodness,

0:58:510:58:54

its sugar-smoked tenderness, its...

0:58:540:58:56

You don't have to sell to me! I like it.

0:58:560:58:58

Oh, thank you.

0:59:010:59:02

Just bills.

0:59:020:59:05

Darling, I'm going out to the place this afternoon.

0:59:050:59:08

Bill's driving me up to see about the landscaping.

0:59:080:59:11

That will be nice.

0:59:110:59:12

What do you mean, Bill's driving you?

0:59:120:59:15

Why do you always say "what do you mean?"

0:59:150:59:18

when you know perfectly well what I mean and what you mean?

0:59:180:59:20

I mean the moment I turn my back,

0:59:200:59:22

Bill Cole's driving you someplace or something.

0:59:220:59:24

He's only being helpful.

0:59:240:59:26

I thought he was a lawyer. Why isn't he out suing somebody?

0:59:260:59:29

Bicker, bicker, bicker.

0:59:290:59:31

HE SIGHS

0:59:310:59:33

Hmm!

0:59:330:59:34

Well, we'll just see about that!

0:59:340:59:37

What is it?

0:59:370:59:39

What's the matter, Jim?

0:59:400:59:43

Mr William Cole, please.

0:59:430:59:46

Hello, Bill.

0:59:460:59:47

They can't get away with this!

0:59:470:59:50

I know my rights as a citizen!

0:59:500:59:52

Why, this notice from the owner of this building!

0:59:520:59:55

He wants our apartment!

0:59:550:59:56

He's ordering us to move in 30 days!

0:59:560:59:58

Well, that's ridiculous.

0:59:580:59:59

How can I move into a house that isn't finished?

0:59:591:00:03

There are no windows, no plaster, no paint!

1:00:031:00:06

Now you listen to me. I have no intention of moving in 30 days!

1:00:061:00:09

This is not legal! I'm going to fight this thing,

1:00:091:00:11

and I don't care if it takes every penny I've got!

1:00:111:00:14

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

1:00:141:00:17

All right!

1:00:171:00:18

Well?

1:00:181:00:20

We're moving in 30 days.

1:00:191:00:21

'So came 30 days, and they moved.

1:00:251:00:29

'That is, we moved.

1:00:311:00:33

'Well, there she is, bright and shiny...

1:00:351:00:38

'and just about complete -

1:00:381:00:41

'the residence of Mr and Mrs James Blandings.

1:00:411:00:46

'All right. Everybody out!

1:00:461:00:49

'Guess you can't blame them

1:00:491:00:52

'for feeling just a little bit proud.'

1:00:521:00:55

CHIRPING

1:00:551:00:57

'Even Theodore's proud.'

1:00:571:00:59

'All right, come on, men. Let's have a little action here.

1:00:591:01:02

'OK, Mac.'

1:01:021:01:04

'The big moment.

1:01:081:01:10

'Aw, look.

1:01:101:01:11

'He wants to carry her across the threshold.

1:01:111:01:14

'Isn't that romantic?'

1:01:141:01:16

Ughhh!

1:01:201:01:22

'Watch that sacroiliac!

1:01:221:01:24

'15 years since you've done this sort of thing.

1:01:241:01:27

'Nice work, Tarzan.

1:01:271:01:28

'Now let's see if you can make it into the living room.

1:01:281:01:32

'That's right. Go right in.

1:01:321:01:34

'Don't pay any attention to the sign.

1:01:341:01:37

'Look where you're going!

1:01:371:01:39

'Can't you see I'm varnishing this floor?'

1:01:381:01:41

'Stop painting that floor

1:01:411:01:43

'and put some planks down in here or something!

1:01:431:01:46

'OK, Mac, OK, but take it easy.

1:01:461:01:48

'The Republicans ain't in yet, you know!'

1:01:481:01:51

'There!

1:01:571:01:58

'I'll just see Simms about this!

1:01:581:02:01

'Oh, Father!

1:02:011:02:03

'Wait till you see what we've found!

1:02:031:02:06

'Now what?

1:02:081:02:09

'Oh, fine. No windows!

1:02:091:02:13

'Well, we'll just see Simms about that, too!'

1:02:131:02:16

Where's Simms?

1:02:171:02:19

Around back, trying to figure out

1:02:191:02:20

what to do about them windows.

1:02:201:02:22

What's the problem? You put windows up.

1:02:221:02:23

Not these. They don't fit.

1:02:231:02:24

Oh, they don't, don't they?

1:02:241:02:26

Mr Blandings, you'd better take a look at these bills.

1:02:261:02:30

What's this about the windows?

1:02:301:02:32

I'm afraid there's been a little slip-up.

1:02:321:02:34

These windows seem to belong

1:02:341:02:35

to a Mr Landing in Fishkill.

1:02:351:02:37

I spoke to him on the phone this morning.

1:02:371:02:38

Well, has he got mine?

1:02:381:02:39

No. He seems to have some windows

1:02:391:02:42

that belong to a Mr Blandsworth in Peekskill.

1:02:421:02:44

Where are MY windows?

1:02:441:02:46

As near as we can find out,

1:02:461:02:48

they've either been sent to a Mr Banning in Danbury,

1:02:481:02:51

or a Mr Bamberger in Waterbury.

1:02:511:02:53

What are we supposed to do, spend the rest of our lives

1:02:531:02:56

in a house without windows?

1:02:561:02:58

It will only be a matter of a few days.

1:02:581:03:00

What's a zuz-zuz water softener?

1:03:001:03:02

How should I know?

1:03:021:03:04

You've got one.

1:03:041:03:05

Hmm?

1:03:051:03:07

"Furnishing and installing one zuz-zuz water softener,

1:03:071:03:10

"285..."

1:03:101:03:11

I didn't order that!

1:03:111:03:13

I'm afraid I authorised that, Mr Blandings,

1:03:131:03:15

to save your boiler and water pipes.

1:03:151:03:18

From what?

1:03:181:03:19

Rust. The plumber assures me that the water in your well

1:03:191:03:21

is the most corrosive

1:03:211:03:22

in his entire experience in the trade.

1:03:221:03:24

Another first.

1:03:241:03:25

Well, if it's necessary, put it in. We're moving in today.

1:03:251:03:28

It's in!

1:03:281:03:29

Oh. Then get me the bill for it!

1:03:291:03:31

You've got it.

1:03:311:03:32

Well, all right, then!

1:03:321:03:34

That's right. Upstairs in the bedroom.

1:03:441:03:46

Mother! >

1:03:461:03:47

The moving vans just left!

1:03:471:03:49

Never mind. You two go and help Gussie in the kitchen.

1:03:491:03:51

Now, Mr Pedelford, we'll talk about the painting.

1:03:511:03:54

OK.

1:03:541:03:55

I had some samples.

1:03:551:03:57

Oh, here we are.

1:03:571:03:58

Now, first the living room.

1:03:581:04:00

I want it to be a soft green.

1:04:001:04:03

Uh-huh.

1:04:031:04:05

Not as blue-green as a robin's egg.

1:04:051:04:07

No.

1:04:071:04:09

But not as yellow-green as daffodil buds.

1:04:091:04:11

Uh-huh.

1:04:111:04:13

The only sample I could get

1:04:131:04:14

is a little too yellow,

1:04:141:04:16

but don't let whoever does it go to the other extreme

1:04:161:04:18

and get it too blue.

1:04:181:04:20

No.

1:04:201:04:21

It should be a sort of greyish yellow-green.

1:04:211:04:23

Uh-huh.

1:04:231:04:24

Now, the dining room.

1:04:241:04:26

I'd like yellow. Not just yellow.

1:04:261:04:29

A very gay yellow.

1:04:291:04:31

Something bright and sunshiny.

1:04:311:04:33

Uh-huh.

1:04:321:04:34

I tell you, Mr Pedelford, if you'll send one of your workmen to the grocer

1:04:341:04:39

for a pound of their best butter and match that exactly,

1:04:381:04:42

you can't go wrong!

1:04:421:04:43

This is the paper we're going to use in the hall.

1:04:431:04:46

It's flowered, but I don't want the ceiling

1:04:461:04:48

to match any of the colours of the flowers.

1:04:481:04:50

No.

1:04:501:04:51

There are some little dots in the background,

1:04:511:04:54

and it's these dots I want you to match.

1:04:541:04:56

Not the little greenish dot near the hollyhock leaf.

1:04:561:04:58

No.

1:04:581:05:00

But the little bluish dot

1:05:001:05:01

between the rosebud and the delphinium blossom.

1:05:011:05:03

Is that clear?

1:05:031:05:04

Uh-huh.

1:05:041:05:06

Now, the kitchen's to be white.

1:05:061:05:08

Not a cold, antiseptic, hospital white.

1:05:081:05:11

No.

1:05:111:05:12

A little warmer, but still,

1:05:121:05:14

not to suggest any other colour but white.

1:05:141:05:17

Uh-huh.

1:05:171:05:18

Now, for the powder room in here,

1:05:181:05:21

I want you to match this thread.

1:05:211:05:23

And don't lose it. It's the only spool I have,

1:05:231:05:25

and I had an awful time finding it.

1:05:251:05:27

As you can see, it's practically an apple red,

1:05:271:05:30

somewhere between a healthy Winesap

1:05:301:05:32

and an unripened Jonathan.

1:05:321:05:33

Uh-huh.

1:05:331:05:35

CRASH

1:05:351:05:36

Oh, excuse me.

1:05:361:05:38

You got that, Charlie?

1:05:401:05:42

Red, green, blue, yellow, white.

1:05:421:05:44

Check.

1:05:441:05:45

HE SPITS

1:05:451:05:46

Oh, Joan.

1:05:511:05:53

I'm awful sorry.

1:05:531:05:55

You knew Father was supposed to carry the heavy things.

1:05:551:05:58

Father disappeared.

1:05:581:06:00

I haven't seen him for an hour.

1:06:001:06:02

Where's Uncle Bill? He's going to miss his train!

1:06:021:06:05

If they've run off somewhere,

1:06:051:06:07

it certainly isn't very...

1:06:071:06:08

BANGING

1:06:081:06:10

Heavens!

1:06:101:06:11

I thought you were going to take care of it.

1:06:181:06:21

I thought you were.

1:06:211:06:22

You're going to miss your train, Uncle Bill. It leaves Lansdale in 25 minutes.

1:06:221:06:26

I kind of hate to leave this little place.

1:06:261:06:29

Just four walls and a couple of nail kegs,

1:06:291:06:32

but to me, it will always be home.

1:06:321:06:35

Isn't there a later one?

1:06:361:06:38

Not till the commuter special

1:06:381:06:39

tomorrow morning at 6.15.

1:06:391:06:41

You mean 7.15.

1:06:411:06:42

No, Dad. 6.15.

1:06:421:06:43

What about the 7.15

1:06:431:06:44

I'm supposed to take to the office every morning?

1:06:441:06:47

There's a little asterisk. The 7.15 runs only Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays.

1:06:471:06:51

What? Bill, let me see that!

1:06:511:06:54

Muriel!

1:06:561:06:58

Oh, dear. Don't tell me I read it wrong.

1:06:581:06:59

That's fine.

1:06:591:07:01

For the rest of my life, I'll have to get up at 5.00am to catch the 6.15

1:07:011:07:04

to get to my office at 8.00.

1:07:041:07:05

It doesn't even open until 9.00, and I never get there until 10.00.

1:07:051:07:08

Maybe if you start earlier,

1:07:081:07:09

you can leave the office earlier.

1:07:091:07:11

To get home earlier to get to bed earlier

1:07:111:07:13

to get up earlier I suppose, hmm?

1:07:131:07:14

Maybe you can get the railroad to push the train up to 4.15,

1:07:141:07:16

Then you won't have to go to bed at all.

1:07:161:07:18

You're going to miss your train, Uncle Bill.

1:07:181:07:19

I'll drive you to the station.

1:07:191:07:21

I can drive him!

1:07:211:07:22

No, dear. You better save your strength.

1:07:221:07:24

You have to get up at 5.00.

1:07:241:07:26

It would be nice if you could spend your vacation up here.

1:07:331:07:38

Mm-hmm. We'll see how things work out at the office.

1:07:381:07:41

I'll scout around and see if I can find you a cottage in Lansdale.

1:07:411:07:45

If you can't find me a cottage,

1:07:451:07:47

I can always move back into that closet.

1:07:461:07:49

Oh!

1:07:491:07:50

TRAIN BELLS RING

1:07:501:07:53

HE COUGHS

1:07:571:07:59

Oh!

1:07:591:08:00

Father!

1:08:001:08:02

Now look what you've done.

1:08:021:08:04

Father, the first principle of lighting a fire

1:08:101:08:13

is to see if the flue is open.

1:08:131:08:16

A three-year-old child knows that!

1:08:161:08:18

Next time we want a fire, I'll send out for a three-year-old child.

1:08:181:08:22

Now, get that stuff cleaned up,

1:08:221:08:23

then go on in and help Gussie set the table. It's getting late.

1:08:231:08:25

Look, Dad. Your fraternity pins!

1:08:271:08:29

Pins? I only had one.

1:08:291:08:31

There are two of them here.

1:08:311:08:33

All right, all right. Just put them away.

1:08:331:08:35

Funny. This one says WC on the back of it.

1:08:351:08:38

WC William Cole!

1:08:381:08:40

It must be Uncle Bill's.

1:08:401:08:42

Hmm?

1:08:421:08:44

Let me see that.

1:08:441:08:45

SHE WHISTLES

1:08:511:08:53

What's that?

1:08:531:08:54

It's Mother's diary while she was in college.

1:08:541:08:57

It's slightly torrid.

1:08:571:08:58

That's none of your business!

1:08:581:09:00

I'd say Mother and Uncle Bill were somewhat of an item!

1:09:001:09:03

People do not read other people's diaries.

1:09:031:09:06

That's not a very nice thing to do.

1:09:061:09:07

Go in there and help Gussie with the table.

1:09:071:09:09

What about...

1:09:091:09:10

I'll take care of that. Now, shoo!

1:09:101:09:11

Excuse.

1:09:241:09:27

Muriel, do you have to do that now?

1:09:341:09:37

There's no need to be so irritable

1:09:371:09:40

just because you have to shave at night.

1:09:401:09:43

I'm not irritable.

1:09:431:09:44

You're something.

1:09:441:09:45

You haven't said a civil word all evening.

1:09:451:09:47

Sometimes, a man doesn't feel like talking.

1:09:471:09:50

What is it, dear? Something down at the office?

1:09:501:09:53

No.

1:09:531:09:55

You got the new slogan for Wham?

1:09:551:09:57

It's not due yet.

1:09:571:09:59

Oh... it's something.

1:09:591:10:01

You're certainly upset about something.

1:10:011:10:03

I can always tell.

1:10:031:10:06

I'm not upset.

1:10:061:10:07

It's just that I don't happen to approve

1:10:071:10:10

of falsehood and deception,

1:10:101:10:12

particularly in my own wife.

1:10:121:10:14

What are you talking about?

1:10:141:10:16

Oh, nothing. It's just that I distinctly remember

1:10:161:10:19

your telling me you gave Bill back his fraternity pin

1:10:191:10:22

15 years ago.

1:10:221:10:24

What?

1:10:241:10:25

Did you or didn't you?

1:10:251:10:28

Did I or didn't I what?

1:10:281:10:29

Give it back to him.

1:10:291:10:31

Of course I did. If I said I did, I did.

1:10:311:10:34

Ahh...

1:10:341:10:35

then perhaps you'll have the goodness

1:10:351:10:38

to explain how this happened to fall out of your jewel box.

1:10:381:10:42

What's so funny?

1:10:491:10:50

You.

1:10:501:10:52

You're jealous!

1:10:521:10:55

SHE GIGGLES

1:10:551:10:58

If you were so crazy about the guy,

1:10:581:11:00

why didn't you marry him?

1:11:001:11:01

Because I wasn't in love with him.

1:11:011:11:03

That's not what you said in your diary!

1:11:031:11:04

Oh! Now you've been reading my diary!

1:11:041:11:07

Well, it just happened to fall open,

1:11:071:11:09

and I happened to look at it.

1:11:091:11:12

It just happened. >

1:11:121:11:13

I'll just bet!

1:11:131:11:15

It's all over the book!

1:11:151:11:16

Shh! The children.

1:11:161:11:18

Then why don't you admit it?

1:11:181:11:20

You were in love with Bill Cole!

1:11:201:11:22

Oh, don't be absurd!

1:11:221:11:23

Of course I was in love with Bill.

1:11:231:11:24

In those days, I was in love with a new man every week.

1:11:241:11:27

Then why did you marry me?

1:11:271:11:29

I'm beginning to wonder.

1:11:291:11:30

Maybe it was those big cow eyes of yours

1:11:301:11:33

or that ridiculous hole in your chin.

1:11:331:11:35

Maybe I knew you were going to bring me out

1:11:351:11:36

to this 38,000 icebox with a dried-up trout stream and no windows!

1:11:361:11:39

Or maybe I just happened to fall in love with you,

1:11:391:11:42

but for heaven's sake, don't ask me why!

1:11:421:11:44

Muriel...

1:11:561:11:57

What time is it?

1:11:571:11:59

9.20.

1:11:591:12:00

Thank you.

1:12:001:12:02

Muriel, would it do any good

1:12:021:12:05

to say I'm sorry?

1:12:051:12:07

I don't know.

1:12:071:12:09

Well, I am.

1:12:081:12:11

I've behaved like a schoolboy,

1:12:141:12:16

and I'm sorry.

1:12:161:12:17

Oh, Jim!

1:12:191:12:21

Mmm.

1:12:301:12:32

Why don't you take the soap out of your ears?

1:12:311:12:35

Why do I love you so much?

1:12:351:12:37

Darling, it's awfully late.

1:12:431:12:45

Mm-hmm.

1:12:451:12:47

Maybe you ought to go down and lock the doors.

1:12:491:12:51

What for? The windows are all open anyway.

1:12:511:12:54

You have to get up at 5.00.

1:12:581:13:01

Yeah. I guess so.

1:13:041:13:06

Good night.

1:13:091:13:11

Good night.

1:13:121:13:14

'So, the days sped by...

1:13:321:13:35

'and the bills and the extras.

1:13:351:13:38

'And as autumn reared its lovely head,

1:13:381:13:41

'so did the deadline for Jim's slogan.

1:13:411:13:44

'It was practically a photo finish.'

1:13:441:13:46

Send for sandwiches and coffee.

1:13:471:13:48

It looks like an all-night session.

1:13:481:13:52

What did Mr Dascomb say?

1:13:521:13:53

He said, "Blandings, I want that slogan

1:13:531:13:55

on my desk by 9.00am, check?" I said, "Check."

1:13:551:13:58

I guess you'll just have to dream something up, good or bad.

1:13:581:14:02

I rather got the impression

1:14:021:14:04

that it better be good.

1:14:041:14:06

HE SIGHS

1:14:061:14:08

Funny how you look forward to the little things.

1:14:081:14:11

Rain, for instance.

1:14:111:14:13

For a month now, I've been looking forward to

1:14:131:14:17

the first rainy night at the house...

1:14:171:14:20

big blazing fire,

1:14:201:14:22

Muriel pouring coffee.

1:14:211:14:23

Me in my new smoking jacket

1:14:251:14:27

with my pipe and slippers,

1:14:271:14:29

reading my newspaper.

1:14:291:14:31

Ah, well.

1:14:311:14:33

Do you suppose my clothes are dry yet?

1:14:341:14:37

KNOCK ON DOOR

1:14:371:14:39

Thank heavens. The children.

1:14:391:14:41

Sit still.

1:14:401:14:42

You look too comfortable.

1:14:421:14:44

KNOCKING

1:14:451:14:47

Woo! What a night!

1:14:471:14:49

I'm Harry Selby from down the road.

1:14:491:14:52

Won't you come in?

1:14:521:14:53

Oh, thank you.

1:14:531:14:55

I'm afraid I'm going to get your place all wet.

1:14:551:14:57

I just came in to tell you that the kids are safe, Mr Blandings.

1:14:571:15:01

Oh, I'm not Mr Blandings.

1:15:011:15:03

Cole's the name. Bill Cole.

1:15:031:15:05

A friend of the family.

1:15:051:15:06

Just came in out of the rain.

1:15:061:15:08

I'm Mrs Blandings.

1:15:081:15:10

Oh, how do?

1:15:101:15:12

Oh, Mrs Williams just called

1:15:121:15:13

and says your phone is out of order.

1:15:131:15:16

She wanted me to come over and tell you that the water's rising.

1:15:161:15:19

They've got the bridge roped off.

1:15:191:15:21

Your girls will spend the night over at her place.

1:15:211:15:24

Oh, thank you. I was beginning to get quite worried.

1:15:241:15:26

Aw, she'll take good care of them.

1:15:261:15:28

May I give you a cup of coffee?

1:15:281:15:29

No, thank you. I'd better be getting back

1:15:291:15:31

before I have to swim for it. Good night, Mrs Blandings.

1:15:311:15:34

Good night. I'm very grateful.

1:15:341:15:36

Not at all. Night, Mr Blandin...

1:15:361:15:37

Cole. Bill Cole. Friend of the family.

1:15:371:15:40

Just came in out of the rain.

1:15:401:15:43

Well... good night!

1:15:431:15:45

MURIEL: Good night!

1:15:451:15:46

Thank you!

1:15:461:15:47

No bridge. That's fine.

1:15:521:15:54

How do I get back to Lansdale?

1:15:541:15:57

You'll just have to spend the night here.

1:15:571:16:00

Muriel, really? With your husband in New York

1:16:001:16:02

and your children away?

1:16:021:16:04

Think of my reputation!

1:16:031:16:05

Don't worry, Snow White.

1:16:051:16:06

You'll be just as pure and unsullied in the morning

1:16:061:16:09

as you were the night before.

1:16:091:16:11

That's the story of my life.

1:16:111:16:13

HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS

1:16:491:16:51

"Compare the price. Compare the slice.

1:16:511:16:54

"Take our advice. Buy Wham!"

1:16:541:16:57

Ohh...

1:17:001:17:03

Uhh...

1:17:131:17:15

HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS

1:17:211:17:24

"If you'd buy better ham, you'd better buy Wham!"

1:17:241:17:28

That's Boyle petroleum.

1:17:281:17:30

"If you'd buy better oil, you'd better buy Boyle."

1:17:301:17:33

Yeah.

1:17:331:17:35

Hmm.

1:17:351:17:36

Tsk tsk.

1:17:361:17:38

Oh...

1:17:381:17:40

HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS

1:17:531:17:54

"This little piggy went to market

1:17:541:17:57

"as meek and as mild as a lamb.

1:17:571:18:00

"He smiled in his tracks when they slipped him the axe.

1:18:001:18:04

"He knew he'd turn out to be Wham."

1:18:031:18:06

Yeah. He knew he'd turn out to be Wham.

1:18:081:18:12

It's gone!

1:18:131:18:14

I've lost my touch.

1:18:141:18:16

Maybe I never had a touch. Who knows?

1:18:161:18:19

I can't think any more.

1:18:191:18:20

All I've got on my mind

1:18:201:18:23

is a house with an 18,000 mortgage

1:18:231:18:25

and bills and extras and antiques.

1:18:251:18:28

Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

1:18:281:18:31

Hmm.

1:18:311:18:32

Where are you going?

1:18:431:18:44

I'm going home to get some sleep,

1:18:441:18:46

and I'd advise you to do the same.

1:18:461:18:47

But you haven't...

1:18:471:18:49

Suppose I haven't? This isn't the only job in town!

1:18:491:18:51

What will I tell Mr Dascomb?

1:18:511:18:54

Oh, just tell him to...

1:18:541:18:56

Just tell him.

1:18:551:18:57

MURIEL: I'm sorry Jim isn't here.

1:19:241:19:25

SIMMS: Oh, that's quite all right. I was on my way to town anyway.

1:19:251:19:28

Thought I might catch Jim before he left for the office.

1:19:281:19:30

Sure you won't stay to breakfast?

1:19:301:19:32

No, thanks very much all the same.

1:19:321:19:34

Darling!

1:19:341:19:35

Good morning, dear.

1:19:351:19:36

You must be exhausted.

1:19:361:19:38

How did it go?

1:19:381:19:40

Fine, fine.

1:19:401:19:41

Everything all right?

1:19:411:19:43

Everything's fine.

1:19:431:19:44

Oh, hello, Henry.

1:19:441:19:45

What are you doing up with the morning dew?

1:19:451:19:48

Just dropped in to check the blueprints.

1:19:481:19:51

Some extras came in. There are a couple things

1:19:511:19:53

I thought we ought to go over together.

1:19:531:19:54

Really? What are they?

1:19:541:19:56

Well, let's see.

1:19:561:19:57

A few things here that are all right, I guess.

1:19:571:20:01

"Mortising five butts,

1:20:011:20:03

"1.98."

1:20:031:20:05

Let's not quibble about it.

1:20:051:20:06

A man's entitled to mortise a few butts now and then.

1:20:061:20:08

"Extra hardware, 3.89."

1:20:081:20:11

Petty larceny. Let him get away with it.

1:20:111:20:14

Now, there's one here that, frankly,

1:20:141:20:16

I don't understand.

1:20:161:20:18

Here we are.

1:20:181:20:20

"Changes in closet, 1,247."

1:20:201:20:24

Did you authorise that?

1:20:241:20:25

Well, we probably told him to...

1:20:251:20:27

1,200 and what?

1:20:271:20:29

< 47.

1:20:291:20:30

"Changes in closet."

1:20:301:20:32

That's the end!

1:20:321:20:34

Uh...

1:20:341:20:35

What's this notation?

1:20:351:20:36

"Refer to detail sheet 135." What's that?

1:20:361:20:38

As near as I can remember,

1:20:381:20:41

that's something in back of the house.

1:20:411:20:43

Let's take a look.

1:20:431:20:45

Here we are.

1:20:451:20:47

Well...

1:20:461:20:48

it isn't a closet at all.

1:20:481:20:50

It's off the back pantry.

1:20:501:20:52

Mrs Blandings' little flower sink.

1:20:521:20:54

Oh, Mrs Blandings' little flower sink.

1:20:571:21:01

You didn't authorise any changes, did you?

1:21:011:21:04

Well, they certainly weren't changes.

1:21:041:21:07

What have you done?

1:21:061:21:08

I haven't done anything.

1:21:081:21:10

All I did was...

1:21:101:21:12

Just nothing at all.

1:21:121:21:14

What have you done?

1:21:161:21:19

Well...

1:21:191:21:20

All I did was one day,

1:21:201:21:23

I saw four pieces of flagstone

1:21:231:21:25

left over from the porch

1:21:251:21:26

that were just going to be thrown away because nobody wanted them,

1:21:261:21:30

and I asked Mr Retch

1:21:301:21:32

if he wouldn't just put them on the floor of the flower room

1:21:321:21:35

and poke cement between the cracks and give me a stone floor

1:21:351:21:38

where it might be wet with flowers and things.

1:21:381:21:41

That's absolutely all I did.

1:21:411:21:42

That's all you did.

1:21:421:21:44

Absolutely.

1:21:441:21:46

Just four little pieces of flagstone.

1:21:461:21:49

Did you, by any chance, authorise a drain?

1:21:491:21:52

Of course I didn't!

1:21:521:21:54

All I said was that I wanted a nice, dry stone floor.

1:21:541:21:59

Mr Retch was just as nice as he could be

1:21:591:22:03

and said, "Well, you're the doctor,"

1:22:031:22:05

and that was all that anybody said to anybody about anything.

1:22:051:22:08

Ohh...

1:22:081:22:10

Well...

1:22:121:22:13

I think I can tell you what happened.

1:22:131:22:15

First, the carpenters had to rip out the flooring that was already laid.

1:22:151:22:18

Those planks run under the entire width of the pantry.

1:22:181:22:21

So Retch had to knock out the bottom of the pantry wall to get at them,

1:22:211:22:25

then he had to chop off the top of the joists under the flower sink space

1:22:251:22:29

to make room for the cradle.

1:22:291:22:30

I guess he got some iron straps

1:22:301:22:33

and fastened it to a large pan to give him something to hold the cement.

1:22:321:22:35

With that added load on the weakened joists,

1:22:351:22:37

I'll bet he had to put a lally column down there for support, too.

1:22:371:22:40

I'll bet.

1:22:401:22:42

But it was just four little flagstones...

1:22:411:22:43

Quiet!

1:22:431:22:44

< That means solid pipe runs under there and wall brackets.

1:22:441:22:46

So Retch had to get the plumber back, take out a section

1:22:461:22:49

so that he could get that cradle set.

1:22:491:22:51

I'll bet he had to change the pitch of the soil pipe

1:22:511:22:53

from one end of the house to the other.

1:22:531:22:54

Good morning, Mr Cole.

1:22:541:22:55

Morning. Morning, Jim.

1:22:551:22:57

Hello, Bill.

1:22:571:22:58

< And, of course, there are hot and cold water pipes

1:22:581:23:00

< hooked to the joist right under that pantry.

1:23:001:23:02

< They run to the bathroom on the second floor.

1:23:021:23:04

The bridge was roped off,

1:23:041:23:06

and Bill had to stay here last night.

1:23:061:23:08

Slept like a rock.

1:23:081:23:10

..Between the main panel and the junction box by the oil burner,

1:23:101:23:13

including the 220 volt cable that goes to the stove.

1:23:131:23:15

GUSSY: Morning, everybody!

1:23:151:23:16

Wow! What a night!

1:23:161:23:18

I've never seen so much rain in all my natural life!

1:23:181:23:21

Gussie spent the night in Lansdale.

1:23:211:23:24

< I passed the girls over at the Williamses.

1:23:241:23:27

< They'll be on any minute.

1:23:271:23:29

Thank you, Gussie. You'd better get breakfast started.

1:23:291:23:30

< Yes, ma'am.

1:23:301:23:31

Uh...

1:23:321:23:33

where were we?

1:23:331:23:35

Ahem!

1:23:351:23:37

We were at the 220 volt cable that goes to the stove.

1:23:361:23:39

And, of course, there are hot and cold water pipes...

1:23:391:23:41

Just a minute.

1:23:411:23:43

You mean the children weren't here last night, either?

1:23:431:23:46

How could they be? The bridge was closed!

1:23:461:23:48

I just came across it.

1:23:481:23:49

It was closed last night!

1:23:491:23:51

It's open now.

1:23:511:23:53

If you'll all excuse me, I'll just go upstairs

1:23:531:23:54

and slip into something

1:23:541:23:56

a little more comfortable.

1:23:561:23:57

I guess that's about the size of it,

1:24:011:24:04

except that Retch had to repair the pantry wall.

1:24:031:24:06

That meant getting a plasterer back,

1:24:061:24:07

and he couldn't possibly have broken through that wall without...

1:24:071:24:10

All right, Henry. We'll take care of it.

1:24:101:24:12

I'll admit it's a little steep.

1:24:121:24:14

I'll try and get Retch to knock 100 off the bill.

1:24:141:24:17

If I can't get that, I'll certainly try for 75.

1:24:171:24:18

Fine.

1:24:181:24:20

If he doesn't go for 75, I'll make a stab at 50.

1:24:201:24:22

You do that.

1:24:221:24:23

Anyhow, I'm almost sure we can get 25.

1:24:251:24:28

Good day.

1:24:311:24:32

Good day.

1:24:321:24:33

Bye.

1:24:331:24:34

Darling...

1:24:361:24:38

you're upset.

1:24:381:24:40

You've got a lot of things on your mind.

1:24:391:24:42

Muriel, there's only one thing I've got on my mind -

1:24:421:24:45

this house and how soon we can get rid of it!

1:24:451:24:48

That's not what you're thinking.

1:24:481:24:50

Maybe it's not. Maybe I'm thinking I was once a happy man.

1:24:501:24:53

I didn't have a closet, I didn't have three bathrooms,

1:24:531:24:55

but I did have my sanity, a few dollars in the bank,

1:24:551:24:58

two children who love me, and a wife I could trust!

1:24:581:25:00

That's a fine thing to say!

1:25:001:25:02

I also had a job at Dascomb and Banton -

1:25:021:25:04

something I don't happen to have at the moment.

1:25:041:25:06

Jim!

1:25:061:25:07

That's right, I've resigned!

1:25:071:25:08

We're starting all over again from scratch and without this house!

1:25:081:25:11

You love this house!

1:25:111:25:12

I hate it, from its rabbetted lintels

1:25:121:25:15

to its zuz-zuz water softener.

1:25:151:25:17

You know you don't mean that.

1:25:171:25:19

Every word of it. Anybody who builds a house today is crazy!

1:25:191:25:22

The minute you start,

1:25:221:25:24

they put you on the list - the All-American sucker list.

1:25:241:25:26

You start out to build a home,

1:25:261:25:28

and you wind up in the poorhouse!

1:25:281:25:29

If it can happen to me, what about the fellas

1:25:291:25:31

who aren't making 15,000 a year?

1:25:311:25:33

What about the kids who just got married and want a home of their own?

1:25:331:25:37

It's a conspiracy, I tell you!

1:25:361:25:38

A conspiracy against every boy and girl who were ever in love!

1:25:381:25:41

KNOCKING

1:25:411:25:42

What do you want?

1:25:421:25:44

Mr Blandings,

1:25:461:25:47

there's a matter of 12.36.

1:25:471:25:51

12.36.

1:25:511:25:54

Why be a piker, Mr Tesander?

1:25:541:25:57

Here! Take everything I've got!

1:25:571:25:59

Spread it out amongst your pals!

1:25:591:26:02

Perhaps Retch would like a little something.

1:26:021:26:04

Maybe Zucca could use my new smoking jacket!

1:26:041:26:07

It's open house! Help yourself!

1:26:071:26:09

Now, hold on, Mr Blandings.

1:26:091:26:11

This 12.36, you don't owe me.

1:26:111:26:14

I owe you.

1:26:141:26:18

What was that?

1:26:181:26:20

Yeah.

1:26:201:26:21

Found I overcharged you,

1:26:211:26:24

almost three feet.

1:26:241:26:26

Better count it. Think it's all there.

1:26:281:26:32

Thank you very much, Mr Tesander.

1:26:321:26:35

Well...

1:26:371:26:38

I guess I better be going.

1:26:381:26:41

You sure got a pretty place here.

1:26:421:26:46

Take good care of it.

1:26:461:26:48

Oh, er...

1:26:511:26:52

I'll tell Mr Zucca about the smoking jacket.

1:26:521:26:55

Darling, what did you mean?

1:27:001:27:02

Are we really going to have to sell this house?

1:27:021:27:06

Don't know, dear.

1:27:061:27:08

Don't know anything any more.

1:27:081:27:11

In case anyone's interested,

1:27:111:27:13

I'm leaving for town.

1:27:131:27:15

Oh, Mr Tesander!

1:27:161:27:18

Could you give me a lift into Lansdale?

1:27:181:27:21

Yep.

1:27:211:27:22

Fine. I'll be right with you.

1:27:221:27:23

If you want to count the silverware, I'll wait.

1:27:231:27:28

Be patient with me, Bill.

1:27:281:27:30

Maybe one of these days I'll grow up.

1:27:301:27:33

What happened to him?

1:27:331:27:35

12.36.

1:27:351:27:37

You mind if I say something?

1:27:381:27:40

Ever since this thing started,

1:27:401:27:42

I've been the voice of doom about the whole project.

1:27:421:27:44

Every step of the way,

1:27:441:27:46

I've been convinced you were getting fleeced, bilked,

1:27:461:27:48

rooked, flim-flammed, and generally taken to the cleaners.

1:27:481:27:52

Maybe you were. >

1:27:521:27:53

Maybe it cost you a lot more than you thought it would. >

1:27:531:27:56

Maybe there were times when you wished >

1:27:561:27:58

you'd never started the whole thing. >

1:27:571:27:59

But when I look around at what you two have got here...

1:27:591:28:03

Well, I don't know.

1:28:031:28:05

Maybe there are some things

1:28:051:28:07

you should buy with your heart and not your head.

1:28:071:28:09

Maybe those are the things that really count.

1:28:111:28:13

Well, see you around.

1:28:131:28:15

Bye, dear.

1:28:151:28:17

Oh, Uncle Bill!

1:28:281:28:29

BOTH TALK AT ONCE

1:28:291:28:31

I heard all about it!

1:28:311:28:33

- Goodbye! - Bye! - Bye!

1:28:331:28:36

Morning, everybody!

1:28:361:28:37

Dad, why aren't you at the office?

1:28:371:28:39

Oh, well, I'm on a kind of vacation.

1:28:391:28:42

You mean you got fired?

1:28:421:28:43

We'll discuss it later. Not exactly.

1:28:431:28:46

Come and get it, everybody! Breakfast is ready!

1:28:461:28:48

I'm starving! What are we having?

1:28:481:28:50

Orange juice, scrambled eggs and you-know-what!

1:28:501:28:52

- Ham?

1:28:521:28:55

- Not ham! Wham!

1:28:531:28:55

If you ain't eatin' Wham, you ain't eatin' ham!

1:28:551:28:58

< Now you kids go wash your hands.

1:28:581:29:01

Muriel! >

1:29:011:29:02

Darling!

1:29:021:29:04

Give Gussie a 10 raise!

1:29:041:29:06

Drop in and see us sometime.

1:29:171:29:19

Yeah. Do that.

1:29:191:29:21

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1:29:311:29:34

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