Browse content similar to Scenes of a Sexual Nature. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
This programme contains strong language.. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:20 | |
Footballers! Fifty grand a week! | 0:02:20 | 0:02:24 | |
That's ten grand a day. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:28 | |
Well, it's a five-day week. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
I mean, one game a week. Two max. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
And they only train till midday, so that's like... | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
..ten grand a working day. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
So what gems does Little Miss Cosmo have for you this week? | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
Well, I'm reading about something called, erm, multiple orgasm? | 0:02:48 | 0:02:53 | |
-Don't listen. They make that shit up. -Apparently not. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:57 | |
Well, multiple orgasms stop when you get married. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
Something to do with church weddings. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
The blessing takes care of all that. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
In the eyes of God, one climax per session is enough. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:10 | |
Well, if that were the case, I'd go to church. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
Multiple orgasms. Really! | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
-We make do with one at a time. Do you see us complaining? -No. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
-There you go. -Cos you're asleep. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
-Ho-ho-ho! -(LAUGHS) | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
Well, Mandy from Oxford here has at least ten orgasms a day. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:28 | |
-I told you, they make it up. -So, by your maths, that's what? | 0:03:28 | 0:03:32 | |
-Fifty orgasms a week? -Unless she's on a Cup run. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:36 | |
-Ow! Christ, I've just come. -Jamie! -Oh, and another! | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
-Shut up! People will start staring! -It's Hampstead Heath. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
They think you're weird if you're not having sex. Ooh, and another. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:46 | |
-Seven more and I could move in with Mandy from Oxford. -(LAUGHS) | 0:03:46 | 0:03:51 | |
(SIGHS) | 0:04:00 | 0:04:02 | |
(CLEARS THROAT) Erm, would you mind if I...? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
Oh, no, of course. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
Do you come here often? | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
-Is that the best you have? -(CHUCKLES) | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
Yes, I'm afraid it is, yes. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
Oh. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
Oh, don't worry. I... | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
I shan't be asking you to dance. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
I find this very comforting. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
-The view? -Yes. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
Ah, it's wonderful to know that some things... just stay. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:28 | |
Although I could do without that bloody tower! | 0:05:28 | 0:05:32 | |
Oh, really? I love it. I love it that for a while, at least, | 0:05:32 | 0:05:35 | |
-we had ambitions beyond concrete. -Hm. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
Do you ever wonder what would have happened | 0:05:40 | 0:05:44 | |
if that chap in Pudding Lane had noticed that fire starting | 0:05:44 | 0:05:48 | |
all those centuries ago, and then just put it out? | 0:05:48 | 0:05:53 | |
I suppose the whole of London would be wooden. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
Imagine the splinters. | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
(CHUCKLES) | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
By the way, I do. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
-What? -Come here often. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
-Do you? -Every Wednesday, as a matter of fact, to this very bench. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:12 | |
-Well, I never. -So be careful who you ask next time. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
Yes, I will. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
-Well, that is extraordinary. -It's just a habit. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:22 | |
-How long have you been coming here? -Oh. Oh, nearly 50 years. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:26 | |
-That's a lot of Wednesdays. -Not as many as it might be. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:30 | |
I'm a strict observer of holidays. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
-Nice view? -Sorry? | 0:06:56 | 0:06:59 | |
Can you get all of that, or would you like me to move for you? | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
What are you talking about, darling? | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
(LAUGHS) You are so pathetic. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
-Oh, good God! -Yeah, isn't he? -She should be careful. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
In case some pervy man were to stare at her pants? | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
-W-Well, yeah. -Yeah. I saw you. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
-Saw me what? -Staring at her. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
Staring at her pants. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
That's ridiculous. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
-She's very beautiful. -Do you think? -Yeah. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
Young, pert. And what is it you and your mates say? | 0:07:28 | 0:07:32 | |
-About what? -Stomach like a snare drum. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
-We-We-We don't say that. -Right. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
So what were you looking at, then? | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
Cos I saw you. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
Oh! Oh, that! | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
Oh, God, did you think I...? | 0:07:44 | 0:07:47 | |
Oh, that's - that's funny. No, it was... | 0:07:47 | 0:07:49 | |
-It was her book. -Oh, right. Her book. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
-Yeah. -Right. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
And what book would that be, then? | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
(IN ENGLISH ACCENT) "Le... tranger". | 0:07:59 | 0:08:03 | |
-"L'Etranger". -Er, yeah. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
-You know it, do you? -Oh, it's seminal. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
-Albert Camus, unless I'm mistaken. -It is, yeah. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:14 | |
Made quite an impact on me as a teenager. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
-Really? -Oh! -Camoo! Camoo... | 0:08:17 | 0:08:20 | |
Yeah, that book, er, changed my life. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:24 | |
I noticed she was reading it, and thought, | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
"Well, you don't see it about that often". | 0:08:26 | 0:08:30 | |
What's it about, then? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:31 | |
-Sorry? -This book that changed your life. What's it about? | 0:08:31 | 0:08:35 | |
-I'm not gonna get into that now. -Oh, come on. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
-The book that changed my husband's life, I should know about. -(SIGHS) | 0:08:37 | 0:08:41 | |
Go on. You know I love a good story. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
Well, you know, it's, er... | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
-It's French. -Mm. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:49 | |
-About a man who is an... etranger. -Right. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:53 | |
-A stranger, basically. -Yeah. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:55 | |
Anyway, he goes on quite an adventure. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
You know, new man in town, the locals are difficult to break. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:02 | |
-Mm-hm. -He starts off as a stranger, | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
and through a series of beautifully-crafted events | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
he eventually becomes accepted as the new... | 0:09:08 | 0:09:12 | |
..sheriff. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
Sheriff? | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
Yeah. It's kinda like a... | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
..French... western. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
-Well, that does sound life-changing. -Yeah, it was. -Mm, mm. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:33 | |
Molly? Molly, what are you...? | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
I'm so sorry to disturb you, | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
-but I was just wondering if you could help me. -Of course. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
-We should leave her alone. -She doesn't mind. Do you? | 0:09:46 | 0:09:49 | |
-No, I don't mind. -All the same... -What can I do for you? | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
-I couldn't help noticing the book you're reading. -Really? | 0:09:52 | 0:09:55 | |
-"L'Etranger"? -Oui. -It's truly a wonderful piece of writing. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:59 | |
Well, do you know what? My husband was just saying so. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
-Really? You know it? -Oh, yeah. I mean, I read it. A few years ago. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:07 | |
Isn't Meursault an extraordinary character? | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
His inability to lie, | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
and his ability to live so much in the present. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
Amazing creation. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
Er, yeah. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
And still he ends up... | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
sheriff. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
-Sorry? -Jesus! -No, I was just saying, isn't it remarkable, | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
-that he can be so truthful and still wind up as sheriff. -Molly. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:34 | |
He just clears up that town, don't he? | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
-I think you... may have the book a little confused. -Oh, really? | 0:10:36 | 0:10:41 | |
Well, yes. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
This is a book about the, er, | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
fundamental existential crisis of a man | 0:10:46 | 0:10:49 | |
unable to live under the restrictions | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
society imposes upon him, upon all of us. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
So... it's not a western? | 0:11:00 | 0:11:04 | |
(WHISPERS) No. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
-Is there something wrong? -We should leave now. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:16 | |
Actually, no, no, no. Come here. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
Erm, I'd actually like to apologise on behalf of my husband. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:24 | |
-Apologise? -Yeah. I'm afraid he's been staring at your pants. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:27 | |
For God's sake, Molly. Sorry about my wife. She's had too much sun. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:32 | |
No, it's my husband who's been affected by the heat. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
But a little bit of advice for you. Next time you're sunbathing here, | 0:11:35 | 0:11:39 | |
you might wanna be more careful. It's full... of perverts. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:43 | |
Pack up the things. We're going now. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
I'm really very sorry. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:56 | |
(GIGGLES) | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
I should... | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
Were you really looking at me? | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
Yes. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
Yes, yes, I was. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
Well... | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
That is quite frightening. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
Oh, God. This is... | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
Look, I'm gonna... I really am very sorry. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
-She gets jealous. -When you stare at girls' underwear? | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
Well, I don't very often stare, but... yeah. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:39 | |
I suppose in such a circumstance she would manifest jealousy. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:45 | |
-And what about you? -Me? -You. Are you the jealous type? | 0:12:45 | 0:12:49 | |
-Oh, God, no. Molly can stare at who she likes. It's fine. -Really? | 0:12:49 | 0:12:54 | |
Well, apart from Jude Law, but that's more of a... talent issue. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:59 | |
Look, I'm gonna... | 0:12:59 | 0:13:01 | |
I really am very, very sorry. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:05 | |
Would you... | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
Would you like to look again? | 0:13:08 | 0:13:11 | |
Sorry? | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
Would you like to have another look? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
-Sorry, another look at... -Yes. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
Erm... | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
We all need a look now and again. Like Meursault in the heat. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:34 | |
Yes,... like Meurs... | 0:13:35 | 0:13:39 | |
(WHISPERS) Thank you. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
-Is that the right thing to...? -Why not? | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
You're welcome. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
Molly! | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
So, tell me, why did you break the habit? | 0:14:49 | 0:14:53 | |
-Break it? -Yes, it's Thursday. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
-Thursday? -Yes. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
-Are you sure? -Yes, of course. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:02 | |
-No, no. It's definitely Wednesday. -Oh, no, no, it can't be. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:08 | |
-Oh? -Because I always come here on Thursdays. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:12 | |
Are you being... a wag? | 0:15:13 | 0:15:16 | |
(LAUGHS) No, no. I come to this bench | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
to look at that view on Thursdays. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:21 | |
So, er, it must be Thursday. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
Or one of us has got it wrong. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
(LAUGHS) | 0:15:28 | 0:15:31 | |
What are you gonna do? | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
-You want me to go? -I want you to make a decision! | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
OK. OK, fine, I will. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
If I go, then... | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
You bore me, Ludo, you bore me. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:07 | |
-I bore you? -You bore me to death. I'm so bored. I'm bored right now. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:11 | |
-You're unbelievable! -You said. It's not interesting. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
Now make a fucking decision! | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
And make sure it's not a dull one. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
You're making me do this. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
Take responsibility for yourself. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
You alright? You alright, love? | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
It's just, I was walking by, I couldn't help but notice you, | 0:17:05 | 0:17:08 | |
staring out into the middle distance a bit like a nutter. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:12 | |
I mean, look, if you are a nutter, enough said. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
But you don't strike me as your bona fide mental. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
I haven't actually met any real-deal headcases but they don't generally | 0:17:18 | 0:17:22 | |
look like you, I've seen them on the TV. And if they did look like you, | 0:17:22 | 0:17:26 | |
then I'd be down there smeared in my own shit | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
quicker than you could say, "Pass me your underpants, nurse". | 0:17:29 | 0:17:33 | |
Er... | 0:17:36 | 0:17:37 | |
Look, if I've misjudged things, then, erm... | 0:17:37 | 0:17:40 | |
-Sorry. -You for real? | 0:17:43 | 0:17:47 | |
She speaks. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
-I speak. -Which is good to know. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
What did you mean, right, when you said if they all look like me? | 0:17:53 | 0:17:57 | |
-Sorry? -What exactly do I look like? | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
Well, er, you're a... You're a good-looking bird. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
-A yummy mummy? -Well, yeah, if you like. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:07 | |
-I don't have kids. -Well, that's even better. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:10 | |
-Is it? -Yeah, yeah. -Do you have kids? | 0:18:10 | 0:18:13 | |
Bloody hell! I haven't even bought you a drink yet. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
-You're too young to be a father. -I am. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:20 | |
-How old? -25. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
-No, that's not too young. -Maybe it's not too young, | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
-but it's definitely young. -Compared to what? -Er, to what? | 0:18:25 | 0:18:28 | |
You, you're young. Compared to what? | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
Erm... | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
Er... The telephone. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:36 | |
Yeah, I'm definitely young compared to the telephone. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
(LAUGHS) You are. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
(BOTH LAUGH) | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
-So, what are you young compared to? -What's that? | 0:18:46 | 0:18:49 | |
I said what's old compared to you? | 0:18:49 | 0:18:52 | |
What kind of fucking question is that? | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
What? | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
What kind of moronic fucking question is that?! | 0:19:00 | 0:19:03 | |
It was your moronic fucking question. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:07 | |
I just... It's OK. You can leave now. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
Oh. Oh, can I? | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
-Yeah, you can go now. -Oh, right. OK. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
So, you're alright, then? | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
Fine. Thanks for your concern. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
(EXHALES) | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
My name's Noel. (CLEARS THROAT) | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
-Noel? -Yeah. As in, er, Gallagher. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:46 | |
And Edmonds. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:49 | |
Oh. God. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:52 | |
-(LAUGHS) -Crushes. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:54 | |
-(BOTH LAUGH) -What's your name? | 0:19:54 | 0:19:57 | |
-Anna. -Oh, as in Kournikova. | 0:19:57 | 0:20:01 | |
As in, I'd quite like to spend some time by myself. No offence. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
-OK, none taken. I'll leave you to it. -Thanks for your concern. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:08 | |
It's a'right. You already did that. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
What are you doing? | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
I'm leaving you to it, yeah? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
OK? Now, if you don't mind, | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
be quiet, because I need some still. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
Mm? | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
You have got some front. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
(BOTH LAUGH) | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
You know, you shouldn't be feeding me lines like that. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:55 | |
-Are you seriously not gonna leave? -No. | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
-I could scream. -So, scream. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
I could get you arrested. I could say that you tried to touch me. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:08 | |
Well, if I'm going down for it... | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
You know what? I think I'm punching above my weight. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:21 | |
I'm just gonna leave you to it. I'm sorry. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:25 | |
You can stay. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:30 | |
Yeah? | 0:21:34 | 0:21:36 | |
Don't mind if I do. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
What makes you think that someone like you | 0:21:43 | 0:21:46 | |
has any chance whatsoever with someone like me? | 0:21:46 | 0:21:48 | |
Y'know, I don't remember asking if I did. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
-Come on, you've been drooling since you saw me. -I have not. | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
I just... saw a girl who looked upset | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
and I made sure that she was alright and then I decided | 0:21:58 | 0:22:01 | |
to do a spot of meditation. And there was no drool involved. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
You are out of your mind. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
Seriously, yeah? You're fucking with my chi. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:10 | |
Molly! | 0:22:21 | 0:22:22 | |
Oh, come on, Molly! | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
(INHALES DEEPLY) | 0:22:27 | 0:22:31 | |
-My boyfriend just left me. -Where? | 0:22:32 | 0:22:36 | |
-Here, just now. Ludo. -Ludo? What, as in the...? (LAUGHS) | 0:22:37 | 0:22:42 | |
-As in boring, middle-aged twat. Shut up. -(BOTH LAUGH) | 0:22:42 | 0:22:46 | |
Has anybody ever told you that you have great eyes? | 0:22:59 | 0:23:02 | |
-Oh, sorry. Are we in Stringfellows? -No, really, you do. -Make an effort. | 0:23:02 | 0:23:06 | |
No, you do. You have great eyes. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
-Which is lucky. -Lucky? -Yeah. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
-Because they pull focus from your nose. -What's wrong with my nose? | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
Nothing's wrong with it. You have a great fuckin' nose. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:18 | |
-Are you seriously trying to tell me I've got a big nose? -Not big. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:22 | |
-Well, what, then? -What I'm sayin' is that | 0:23:22 | 0:23:26 | |
it doesn't matter what kind of nose you have, because those eyes | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
-will always overpower it. -Overpower?! -Erm... | 0:23:29 | 0:23:33 | |
You happen to have a beautiful nose. My point is, those eyes are so good, | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
even if you had a ridiculous nose, it wouldn't matter, which you don't. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:41 | |
But if you did, I wouldn't notice, which I didn't until now. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:45 | |
And now I look, it's a great nose. Yeah, it's great. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
-You have a great nose. -You've just got no idea who you're dealing with. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:54 | |
-I'm damaged! -We're all damaged, babe. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:59 | |
Who the fuck do you think you are?! | 0:23:59 | 0:24:01 | |
Arriving out of nowhere, asking me personal questions, | 0:24:02 | 0:24:05 | |
when clearly I'm upset about something, which, incidentally, | 0:24:05 | 0:24:09 | |
has fuck all to do with you. And then you sit here next to me, | 0:24:09 | 0:24:12 | |
you sit there... Me, an attractive, single, vulnerable woman. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:16 | |
..and tell me I've got a beautiful nose. How fucking dare you?! | 0:24:16 | 0:24:20 | |
-Yeah, I'm sorry. -What? | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
I'm sorry. Erm... | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
-I'm sorry that I complimented you. It was very insensitive of me. -Yes! | 0:24:25 | 0:24:29 | |
-It was a crap line! -Oy... -Not a hint of originality. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:34 | |
Crap men are one thing, but crap lines are unforgivable. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:38 | |
OK, OK! The whole thing was a line. All of this was a line, you know? | 0:24:38 | 0:24:42 | |
-I saw you rowing with, er, Monopoly. -Ludo. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:46 | |
Yeah, with him. OK? And I thought, you know, "She is very, very fit". | 0:24:46 | 0:24:50 | |
And... And very, very vulnerable. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
And I am very, very horny. So, yeah, you're right. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:56 | |
-I know I'm right. -So, you are. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
-I know. -So, how did I do? | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
-Shit. -Well, you can't blame me for trying. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:03 | |
-You can't blame me for telling you to fuck off. -No. -So, go on, then. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:07 | |
Well, erm... | 0:25:11 | 0:25:14 | |
You didn't scream. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:16 | |
-You're right. -I am? | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
-Let's do it. -Do it? What are you sayin'? | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
-I'm saying I wanna fuck you. -You're saying that you wanna...? | 0:25:23 | 0:25:28 | |
-I wanna fuck you. -You're saying... -I wanna fuck you. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:31 | |
You need to stop sayin' that because now you're really confusing me. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:35 | |
I wasn't coming over here to ask if you wanted... | 0:25:35 | 0:25:38 | |
-I was gonna ask if you wanted to go for a drink. -I told you I want... | 0:25:38 | 0:25:41 | |
To fuck me. Yeah, yeah. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
Oh. Oh. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
-Do you? -As a rule, I like not to ask more than a dozen times. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:51 | |
Right, yeah. OK, OK. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:54 | |
-What, really? -I wanna have sex with you. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:57 | |
-With me? -Yeah, I wanna fuck you. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:01 | |
You're not being mental again? So what you sayin'? | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
All the... lines that... Those crap lines, actually, they all worked? | 0:26:05 | 0:26:09 | |
-No, they were shit. -Oh. -If you'd said nothing, | 0:26:09 | 0:26:12 | |
-I'd have fucked you earlier. -Jesus. -I thought for a moment | 0:26:12 | 0:26:15 | |
-you might interest me, but there was nothing. -That's wonderful. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:19 | |
Well, we'll see what it is. Come on. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
Well, um, what, now? | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
OK. Erm, right. Well, where do you live? | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
-Cos I'm, er, like a bus ride away... -Here. -Here? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:31 | |
-What? Now? -Right here. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:35 | |
-Here? -There. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:38 | |
Wh... Wh... | 0:26:40 | 0:26:41 | |
Errr... | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
-Can you do these? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:48 | |
-Bit stuck. Bit stuck. -You wanna do this, right? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:57 | |
Oh, yeah! | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
What? | 0:27:08 | 0:27:09 | |
You can fuck off. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
You bore me. | 0:27:17 | 0:27:19 | |
(DOG GROWLS) | 0:27:23 | 0:27:25 | |
-Fuck off! -(DOG BARKS) | 0:27:25 | 0:27:27 | |
What you want from me? | 0:27:27 | 0:27:29 | |
(DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE) | 0:27:29 | 0:27:32 | |
I've often wondered about Cheryl and Brian. | 0:27:46 | 0:27:50 | |
Who? | 0:27:50 | 0:27:52 | |
-Ah. -Do you think they were happy? | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
Well, who knows? | 0:27:57 | 0:28:00 | |
At least they were together. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
Ahh, is that happiness? | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
Well, I suppose we'll never know about them. | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
Well, I think they met during the War. | 0:28:09 | 0:28:12 | |
And he went off to fight in France, | 0:28:13 | 0:28:16 | |
and she stayed behind in London, | 0:28:16 | 0:28:18 | |
slaving away in the munitions factories, | 0:28:18 | 0:28:22 | |
both of them wondering when or if they would see one another again. | 0:28:22 | 0:28:26 | |
An intense and terrifying start, | 0:28:26 | 0:28:30 | |
which propelled them through the hardships | 0:28:30 | 0:28:33 | |
and the difficulties, and on. Like a fully taut bow and arrow. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:38 | |
The greater the tension before it launches, | 0:28:38 | 0:28:41 | |
the further it goes. Well, I think love's like that. | 0:28:41 | 0:28:45 | |
And I've always felt | 0:28:45 | 0:28:47 | |
Cheryl and Brian achieved great distance because of it. | 0:28:47 | 0:28:50 | |
Other people's stories are always fascinating. | 0:28:54 | 0:28:58 | |
Have you achieved great distance? | 0:29:02 | 0:29:05 | |
We have now. She's dead, and I'm in Cricklewood. | 0:29:06 | 0:29:09 | |
-Oh, I'm sorry. -No, it's OK. | 0:29:09 | 0:29:11 | |
-Has a wonderful dentist. -Cricklewood? -Oh, heaven. | 0:29:13 | 0:29:17 | |
-But such very long waiting lists. -(LAUGHS) Yes. | 0:29:17 | 0:29:20 | |
What about you? | 0:29:21 | 0:29:23 | |
Tommy died five years ago. | 0:29:24 | 0:29:27 | |
-43 years of marriage. -Oh, well done. | 0:29:27 | 0:29:30 | |
He was a sweet man. | 0:29:32 | 0:29:34 | |
A very sweet man. | 0:29:34 | 0:29:37 | |
But this bench was my little secret. | 0:29:38 | 0:29:41 | |
I never came here with him in all those years. | 0:29:41 | 0:29:44 | |
There was a time in the early '80s | 0:29:44 | 0:29:47 | |
when he thought I was having an affair, | 0:29:47 | 0:29:49 | |
because I wouldn't tell him where this place was. | 0:29:49 | 0:29:52 | |
I used to tell him I was visiting my son. Anything, just to get here. | 0:29:52 | 0:29:56 | |
It was always important to me to have my little place. | 0:29:56 | 0:30:00 | |
My little bench. My little view. | 0:30:00 | 0:30:03 | |
-You have a son? -Yes. | 0:30:03 | 0:30:06 | |
Oh, he's in his 40s now. | 0:30:06 | 0:30:08 | |
Eddie. | 0:30:08 | 0:30:10 | |
Oh. Oh, that's my name. | 0:30:10 | 0:30:12 | |
So, why here? Why this bench? | 0:30:15 | 0:30:18 | |
There was a boy. We were 17. | 0:30:24 | 0:30:27 | |
We only met twice. We met here. | 0:30:27 | 0:30:29 | |
I was engaged to Tommy. He was engaged to... | 0:30:31 | 0:30:34 | |
I don't remember her name. And things... | 0:30:34 | 0:30:37 | |
They were different times. | 0:30:40 | 0:30:42 | |
-Teresa. -What? | 0:30:47 | 0:30:49 | |
The woman... he was engaged to. | 0:30:51 | 0:30:54 | |
She was called Teresa. | 0:30:57 | 0:30:59 | |
And... he was called Eddie. | 0:31:07 | 0:31:09 | |
And she was called... | 0:31:13 | 0:31:16 | |
..Iris. | 0:31:16 | 0:31:18 | |
-He's not your type. -How would you know? | 0:32:30 | 0:32:33 | |
You're my partner. It's not the same thing at all. | 0:32:34 | 0:32:36 | |
-He is. -(LAUGHS) | 0:32:36 | 0:32:41 | |
God, you're not wrong there. | 0:32:42 | 0:32:45 | |
Why are you always reading? | 0:32:48 | 0:32:50 | |
-Why? -Yeah. Why? -You know what, Billy? You should read some more. | 0:32:50 | 0:32:54 | |
You might learn something about yourself. | 0:32:54 | 0:32:56 | |
There's nothing I need to learn about myself that he couldn't teach me. | 0:32:58 | 0:33:03 | |
-Fair point. -(LAUGHS) | 0:33:08 | 0:33:11 | |
I met this guy the other night. | 0:33:11 | 0:33:14 | |
-Oh, yeah? -He had one of those smiles. | 0:33:14 | 0:33:16 | |
That says, "I have no self-respect"? | 0:33:16 | 0:33:18 | |
No, the sort that says "I'll give you the best blow job you've ever had." | 0:33:18 | 0:33:22 | |
Oh, that one. | 0:33:22 | 0:33:24 | |
-And did he? -Come on, there are rules. | 0:33:27 | 0:33:31 | |
-The rules. -There've gotta be rules, Bri. | 0:33:31 | 0:33:34 | |
-You dirty bastard. -You fucking love it. | 0:33:34 | 0:33:37 | |
Look, I've been thinking... | 0:33:42 | 0:33:45 | |
I told you. Two's company. | 0:33:45 | 0:33:48 | |
I know, and three's a night out, but it's not about that. | 0:33:48 | 0:33:51 | |
-You're not talking about sex? -No. -They said this day would come. | 0:33:51 | 0:33:54 | |
-You're gonna let me have a garden? -I'm not spending the rest of my days | 0:33:54 | 0:33:58 | |
-in "The Good Life". -Oh, "The Good Life". | 0:33:58 | 0:34:00 | |
-When I was a kid, I used to really fancy Penelope Keith. -Margo? | 0:34:00 | 0:34:04 | |
Yes. She's got a touch of the Maggie Thatchers. | 0:34:04 | 0:34:07 | |
-Oh, you were so confused. -And you fancied Richard Briers? | 0:34:07 | 0:34:10 | |
Oh, don't be sick. | 0:34:10 | 0:34:12 | |
-Felicity Kendal every time. -Fuck off. -No, seriously. Those dungarees, man. | 0:34:12 | 0:34:16 | |
If I met her today, I'd still love to have a go. | 0:34:16 | 0:34:19 | |
You should spend less time being nostalgic. | 0:34:20 | 0:34:22 | |
-Nothing wrong with nostalgia. -A little bit, maybe, | 0:34:22 | 0:34:26 | |
-but you can be nostalgic about breakfast. -I told you, read more. | 0:34:26 | 0:34:29 | |
Penelope Keith? What a minger! | 0:34:29 | 0:34:32 | |
-Well, let's face it. We've never had the same taste in women. -Ah. | 0:34:36 | 0:34:40 | |
-So, what were you thinking? -When? | 0:34:40 | 0:34:43 | |
Just now. You said you'd been thinking. | 0:34:44 | 0:34:47 | |
Or has that thought already nestled itself | 0:34:47 | 0:34:49 | |
in one of the empty corners of your mind? Imagine the millions | 0:34:49 | 0:34:53 | |
of tiny thoughts there must be scrabbling around, | 0:34:53 | 0:34:56 | |
looking for a way out before their last gasping breath deserts them | 0:34:56 | 0:34:59 | |
and they become another distant memory of a once half-decent idea. | 0:34:59 | 0:35:03 | |
You should read less. | 0:35:03 | 0:35:06 | |
I know. I promise, as soon as you commit to me for life, | 0:35:06 | 0:35:09 | |
I absolutely will. | 0:35:09 | 0:35:11 | |
(SIGHS) | 0:35:40 | 0:35:42 | |
Ohh. | 0:35:59 | 0:36:01 | |
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Come to Daddy. | 0:36:01 | 0:36:04 | |
-Oh, yeah. -Alright. What do you reckon? | 0:36:12 | 0:36:15 | |
-Jesus Christ! -Bit of a monster, eh? Come on. | 0:36:15 | 0:36:17 | |
Oi, oi, oi! No, no. No means no. | 0:36:17 | 0:36:22 | |
-You walked in with your dick out. -That's cos I need a piss. | 0:36:22 | 0:36:25 | |
-Well, go somewhere else. Some of us have sex here. -Christ! Urgh! | 0:36:25 | 0:36:30 | |
-Where the hell have you been? -I think I get to ask the questions. | 0:36:35 | 0:36:40 | |
-Dirty little... -Aren't you? | 0:36:41 | 0:36:43 | |
Hello. | 0:36:44 | 0:36:46 | |
-Where's Eve? -She's just coming. | 0:36:51 | 0:36:55 | |
(SIGHS) I still need a piss. | 0:36:55 | 0:36:58 | |
You don't have to pretend to me. It's the 21st Century. | 0:36:58 | 0:37:01 | |
-It doesn't have the stigma it used to have. -Very funny. | 0:37:01 | 0:37:05 | |
Give us a kiss. | 0:37:05 | 0:37:07 | |
-You've always been the greatest kisser. -Thanks. | 0:37:12 | 0:37:15 | |
You're not so bad yourself. Shame your friend never found out. | 0:37:15 | 0:37:18 | |
We can drop that now. Any time you like. | 0:37:18 | 0:37:21 | |
Ahhh. Come on, Eve. Daddy needs a wee-wee. | 0:37:21 | 0:37:25 | |
-Go and find another hedge. -No chance! No way. | 0:37:25 | 0:37:28 | |
I fail to see how some men can find sex with men in any way appealing. | 0:37:28 | 0:37:34 | |
Struggle to see how women can. | 0:37:34 | 0:37:36 | |
You underestimate your immense sexual magnetism. | 0:37:36 | 0:37:39 | |
-I'm not the only one. -Oh, poor baby, not getting any? | 0:37:39 | 0:37:42 | |
(BOTH LAUGH) | 0:37:42 | 0:37:45 | |
Look, before Eve gets here, I brought the papers. You? | 0:37:46 | 0:37:50 | |
Yeah. | 0:37:50 | 0:37:53 | |
Decree absolute. Feels very final. | 0:37:54 | 0:37:57 | |
-Isn't that the point? -I suppose so. | 0:37:57 | 0:38:01 | |
Do you, Sara Louise Williams, | 0:38:03 | 0:38:05 | |
hereby agree to never laying any claim | 0:38:05 | 0:38:08 | |
to the life and emotions of this man, Peter Brian Maxwell? | 0:38:08 | 0:38:14 | |
-I do. -Mm. | 0:38:14 | 0:38:16 | |
And do you, Peter Brian Maxwell, | 0:38:16 | 0:38:20 | |
hereby consent to never ringing up this woman, Sara Louise Williams, | 0:38:20 | 0:38:25 | |
after you've had a few beers and are in desperate need of a bunk-up? | 0:38:25 | 0:38:29 | |
I... | 0:38:30 | 0:38:32 | |
I do, I do, I do. Christ, that hurt. | 0:38:33 | 0:38:36 | |
-Well, maybe we could break the rules once in a while. -Oh, just the once? | 0:38:37 | 0:38:41 | |
-Oh, what about Saturdays when... -Daddy! | 0:38:41 | 0:38:43 | |
-Daddy. -Hello, gorgeous. How's my little princess? | 0:38:45 | 0:38:49 | |
Mummy bought me a brand-new bicycle. | 0:38:49 | 0:38:52 | |
-Wow! Is it wonderful? -It's the best bicycle in the world. | 0:38:52 | 0:38:56 | |
That's what happens when mummies and daddies get divorced. | 0:38:56 | 0:38:59 | |
-The children get lovely presents. -I like your divorce. | 0:38:59 | 0:39:02 | |
-I think Mummy is much happier. -Is she? Well, so is Daddy, | 0:39:02 | 0:39:07 | |
-which makes you a very lucky little girl. -Why am I lucky? | 0:39:07 | 0:39:10 | |
Well, because you have a mummy and a daddy who are... | 0:39:10 | 0:39:14 | |
..who are very happy. | 0:39:14 | 0:39:17 | |
Bet none of your friends can say that. | 0:39:17 | 0:39:19 | |
I love you, Mummy, but I want two mummies like Amy. | 0:39:21 | 0:39:24 | |
-Mm. -(LAUGHS) Do you know what a dyke is? | 0:39:24 | 0:39:26 | |
What? It's a d... dam. Well, it's a big hill. | 0:39:26 | 0:39:31 | |
Holds lots of water. | 0:39:31 | 0:39:33 | |
Water. Do you know what? Can we walk a little bit, love? | 0:39:33 | 0:39:36 | |
Cos Daddy really needs to find a toilet. | 0:39:36 | 0:39:39 | |
-She's seven. -Yeah, right. | 0:39:40 | 0:39:42 | |
-Dam. Damn's not a nice word. -Oh, come on. | 0:39:42 | 0:39:45 | |
Damn this. Damn that. | 0:39:45 | 0:39:47 | |
Well, every Wednesday. | 0:39:51 | 0:39:54 | |
For nearly 50 years. | 0:39:54 | 0:39:56 | |
Huh. Shall we, erm...? | 0:39:56 | 0:40:00 | |
Shall we what? | 0:40:00 | 0:40:03 | |
Well, I don't know. We could, erm... | 0:40:03 | 0:40:06 | |
-What? -Attack the summit. | 0:40:06 | 0:40:08 | |
Mm? | 0:40:08 | 0:40:10 | |
Gosh. | 0:40:12 | 0:40:14 | |
-It's a long time since... -Me, too. | 0:40:15 | 0:40:19 | |
(SIGHS) | 0:40:40 | 0:40:43 | |
So, how does it feel? | 0:40:43 | 0:40:45 | |
Well, it feels like I haven't pissed in a month. | 0:40:45 | 0:40:48 | |
-I meant about being divorced. -Oh. (LAUGHS) Feels good. | 0:40:48 | 0:40:52 | |
I knew. | 0:40:52 | 0:40:55 | |
Knew what? | 0:40:55 | 0:40:57 | |
We were marrying for the wrong reasons. | 0:40:57 | 0:41:00 | |
What was it about us tying the knot that just stopped everything? | 0:41:01 | 0:41:06 | |
I - I think we just ran out of things to say. | 0:41:07 | 0:41:10 | |
And it often happens in a relationship. | 0:41:10 | 0:41:13 | |
Some people get to the point where they say things like, | 0:41:14 | 0:41:17 | |
"I've met someone else" or "I just can't do this any more". | 0:41:17 | 0:41:21 | |
And I went for, | 0:41:21 | 0:41:23 | |
"Will you marry me?" | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
And you went for, "Yes." | 0:41:26 | 0:41:29 | |
The wedding didn't stop anything. It stopped years before. We both knew. | 0:41:29 | 0:41:34 | |
(SIGHS) | 0:41:35 | 0:41:37 | |
But that wedding night, though... | 0:41:37 | 0:41:40 | |
-Ho-ho! That was something else, you animal! -(LAUGHS) | 0:41:40 | 0:41:44 | |
-(BOTH LAUGH) -I was angry. I mean, well, nothing beats angry sex. | 0:41:44 | 0:41:49 | |
-Yeah, I was furious. -You're not joking. | 0:41:49 | 0:41:52 | |
See, that's where we went wrong. I've worked it all out. | 0:41:52 | 0:41:55 | |
I've spent a lot of time thinking about it on the loo. The thing is, | 0:41:55 | 0:41:58 | |
we got married and then we got wound up. | 0:41:58 | 0:42:01 | |
And we should've got angrier much earlier. (GROWLS) | 0:42:01 | 0:42:04 | |
-You're insane. -No, I'm happy. | 0:42:04 | 0:42:07 | |
And I haven't had sex in a year. | 0:42:07 | 0:42:11 | |
A year? Who was that? | 0:42:11 | 0:42:13 | |
It was you. There was only you. | 0:42:13 | 0:42:16 | |
I know. | 0:42:16 | 0:42:18 | |
-Shame sex isn't enough. -Yeah, shame, indeed. | 0:42:18 | 0:42:22 | |
Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come to Daddy. Ohh. | 0:42:24 | 0:42:28 | |
Yes, yes, yes. | 0:42:28 | 0:42:30 | |
No, no. Was it here you dropped it? Yeah? | 0:42:30 | 0:42:35 | |
Er, I can't find it now. | 0:42:35 | 0:42:37 | |
It's gone. No. No. | 0:42:37 | 0:42:41 | |
-Bollocks, bollocks. Bollocks, no. -(LAUGHS) -I hate beautiful girls. | 0:42:41 | 0:42:45 | |
-If she was ugly... -I love the fact I know nothing about men's minds. | 0:42:45 | 0:42:49 | |
-Never overestimate us. -Oh, I don't. | 0:42:49 | 0:42:51 | |
My mother told me something once when I was a child. | 0:42:51 | 0:42:54 | |
The only thing she ever truly did tell me. | 0:42:54 | 0:42:56 | |
If you want to know the way to a man's heart, | 0:42:56 | 0:42:59 | |
-it's simple... -Yeah, through his stomach. | 0:42:59 | 0:43:01 | |
-Through his shirt with a bread knife. -Ouch! | 0:43:01 | 0:43:03 | |
-This is for you, Daddy. -Oh, thank you, baby. | 0:43:03 | 0:43:06 | |
Pete, there is one thing I would like to know. | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
Look, we're fickle, sexually-frustrated liars | 0:43:11 | 0:43:14 | |
who think that settling down is the same as settling for. | 0:43:14 | 0:43:18 | |
-I mean about us. -Oh? | 0:43:18 | 0:43:20 | |
Well, you're still the most attractive man I've ever met, | 0:43:22 | 0:43:25 | |
you make me laugh, you're a great dad, you earn good money,... | 0:43:25 | 0:43:30 | |
..and yet I still know you're wrong. | 0:43:31 | 0:43:34 | |
-Well. -Well, what? | 0:43:37 | 0:43:40 | |
Look, I have no idea what's right for you, | 0:43:40 | 0:43:44 | |
or, for that matter, what's right for me. | 0:43:44 | 0:43:47 | |
-Maybe I'm too picky. -Oh, don't be too hard on yourself. | 0:43:48 | 0:43:52 | |
-We both know that we know nothing. -Except one thing. -What? | 0:43:52 | 0:43:55 | |
-That we both want this divorce. -Except that. Come here. | 0:43:55 | 0:44:00 | |
Ah, yeah. | 0:44:05 | 0:44:07 | |
Ooh. | 0:44:07 | 0:44:09 | |
-How you doin', big man? -No. | 0:44:09 | 0:44:13 | |
For God's sake. | 0:44:14 | 0:44:16 | |
Ahhh. | 0:44:19 | 0:44:22 | |
-(TRICKLING) -Oh, yeah. Oh! | 0:44:22 | 0:44:26 | |
Uh. Uh-huh. Mm-hm. | 0:44:26 | 0:44:29 | |
Hallelujah. Hallelujah. | 0:44:29 | 0:44:32 | |
Ahh. | 0:44:32 | 0:44:35 | |
Ahhhh. | 0:44:35 | 0:44:36 | |
-Better? -(MIMICS SEAN CONNERY) Oh, yes, better. | 0:44:43 | 0:44:46 | |
(BOTH LAUGH) | 0:44:46 | 0:44:49 | |
Love you. | 0:44:49 | 0:44:51 | |
I love you, too. | 0:44:51 | 0:44:53 | |
Come on, baby. Come on. | 0:44:58 | 0:45:00 | |
There you go. Ohh! Give Mummy a kiss. | 0:45:00 | 0:45:04 | |
You're spending the day with Daddy! | 0:45:07 | 0:45:09 | |
Now, don't run, don't run. I can't catch up with you. | 0:45:11 | 0:45:14 | |
-Come on! -Not too far. | 0:45:15 | 0:45:18 | |
It was a beautiful day. | 0:45:40 | 0:45:43 | |
I wanted a big do, but Tommy found all that embarrassing, | 0:45:43 | 0:45:46 | |
so we ended up with a few friends in the old civic hall in Belsize Park. | 0:45:46 | 0:45:50 | |
Oh, God, I used to play darts in there. | 0:45:50 | 0:45:53 | |
We had a huge wedding. You know, church, reception. | 0:45:54 | 0:45:58 | |
All the trappings. I've always liked a do. | 0:45:58 | 0:46:01 | |
I'm finding this very odd. | 0:46:06 | 0:46:09 | |
Mm. Isn't it? | 0:46:09 | 0:46:11 | |
You know, I can really see you now. You have the same... | 0:46:13 | 0:46:17 | |
That thing you do with the corner of your mouth. | 0:46:17 | 0:46:20 | |
Maybe it would've been better if we'd, you know, | 0:46:27 | 0:46:31 | |
died, not knowing. | 0:46:31 | 0:46:34 | |
-Knowing what? -Can I tell you something? | 0:46:34 | 0:46:39 | |
Shall we stop walking, or is this something I can take in my stride? | 0:46:39 | 0:46:42 | |
No, no, no. Momentum plays a great part in my life, | 0:46:42 | 0:46:46 | |
and I'd very much like to get to the top of that summit. | 0:46:46 | 0:46:49 | |
I think you're right. If we stop now, we might need a push. | 0:46:49 | 0:46:53 | |
So, what was it you wanted to tell me? | 0:46:55 | 0:46:58 | |
You've always been my perfect woman. | 0:47:00 | 0:47:03 | |
-You stopped. -I know. | 0:47:03 | 0:47:06 | |
I think that was because I wasn't real. | 0:47:09 | 0:47:12 | |
Hm. But you are now. | 0:47:12 | 0:47:15 | |
Well,... | 0:47:15 | 0:47:17 | |
..they do say you should never come face to face with fantasy. | 0:47:17 | 0:47:21 | |
Wednesdays and Thursdays. | 0:47:21 | 0:47:24 | |
You know, I can't believe this is the first time I got the day wrong. | 0:47:24 | 0:47:28 | |
I mean, was it fate? You know, was it planned like this? | 0:47:28 | 0:47:31 | |
-I mean, why? -So that for 50 years you could be 17 and handsome. | 0:47:31 | 0:47:35 | |
Do you think we're ever gonna get to the top? | 0:47:37 | 0:47:40 | |
Up there where the kites live? | 0:47:40 | 0:47:42 | |
It'd be silly not to try. I mean, on a day like this. | 0:47:42 | 0:47:45 | |
I used to spend a lot of time up there, but it suddenly got steeper. | 0:47:45 | 0:47:49 | |
I think it was some time in the early '90s. | 0:47:49 | 0:47:51 | |
Yes, yes, that's right. Did they do it deliberately, | 0:47:51 | 0:47:54 | |
so us oldies would have to put up with the inferior view? | 0:47:54 | 0:47:58 | |
Well, I should like to defeat them. | 0:47:58 | 0:48:01 | |
Right, give me a few steps. I'll get into my rhythm. | 0:48:01 | 0:48:05 | |
(MOBILE RINGS) | 0:48:45 | 0:48:47 | |
-Hello. Now, where might you be? -"Were you looking at that girl?" | 0:48:49 | 0:48:54 | |
-Yeah. -"Do you think she was nice?" | 0:48:54 | 0:48:57 | |
Yeah, she was. Very nice. | 0:48:58 | 0:49:01 | |
Where the hell are you? You're late. I booked you for 3 o'clock. | 0:49:01 | 0:49:04 | |
-"Well, I'm a busy girl." -You spying on me? -"Maybe." | 0:49:04 | 0:49:09 | |
OK, I'm busted. Where are you? | 0:49:09 | 0:49:11 | |
Hello? | 0:49:13 | 0:49:15 | |
-Hello? -I've only been away a week, and already you're window-shopping. | 0:49:15 | 0:49:20 | |
(LAUGHS) | 0:49:20 | 0:49:23 | |
Come here, you gorgeous thing. | 0:49:23 | 0:49:25 | |
-It's good to see you. -You, too. | 0:49:27 | 0:49:30 | |
Are we walking or sitting? | 0:49:30 | 0:49:32 | |
Let's see. | 0:49:32 | 0:49:35 | |
-I'm feeling a walk. -OK. | 0:49:36 | 0:49:39 | |
-So, how was the funeral? -It went very well. | 0:49:42 | 0:49:46 | |
My grandfather always used to say to me, | 0:49:46 | 0:49:48 | |
"You stay in the game long enough, the cards'll eventually turn up." | 0:49:48 | 0:49:52 | |
-The lottery of life. -He sounds like a wise man. | 0:49:52 | 0:49:56 | |
He was. And he was killed by the thing he loved. | 0:49:56 | 0:49:59 | |
Great way to go. Shame it was a train. | 0:49:59 | 0:50:02 | |
But he died happy. | 0:50:02 | 0:50:04 | |
-I just hope he got the number. -(LAUGHS) | 0:50:04 | 0:50:07 | |
Have you ever thought about it? | 0:50:08 | 0:50:10 | |
-What? -How you'd like to die? | 0:50:10 | 0:50:13 | |
-Have you? -God, yes. | 0:50:14 | 0:50:16 | |
I've narrowed it down to two exits. | 0:50:16 | 0:50:19 | |
Peacefully in my sleep, | 0:50:19 | 0:50:21 | |
or drowned in a Jacuzzi after an overdose of champagne | 0:50:21 | 0:50:24 | |
poured down my throat by Thierry Henry. | 0:50:24 | 0:50:27 | |
-(LAUGHS) You be careful what you wish for. -I'm safe. He's married. | 0:50:27 | 0:50:30 | |
-He's a footballer. -He's not the affair type. | 0:50:30 | 0:50:33 | |
-He's a French footballer. -You haven't answered my question. | 0:50:33 | 0:50:37 | |
-What? -Have you thought about it? | 0:50:37 | 0:50:39 | |
-Actually, I have. -Well? | 0:50:39 | 0:50:42 | |
Murdered by a jealous husband. | 0:50:42 | 0:50:45 | |
-Now stop being morbid. Do you want a cigarette? -I quit. -When? | 0:50:45 | 0:50:49 | |
-At Mum and Dad's. They don't know I smoke. -How old are you? | 0:50:49 | 0:50:52 | |
-That's not the point. It would upset them. -But you're a... | 0:50:52 | 0:50:55 | |
-A what? -A smoker. | 0:50:55 | 0:50:58 | |
-Well, I'm not any more. -OK. | 0:50:58 | 0:51:01 | |
-Do you mind if I smoke? -No. | 0:51:03 | 0:51:05 | |
Can I bring up the "H" word? | 0:51:11 | 0:51:14 | |
-Oh, come on, babe. -We need to go away. | 0:51:14 | 0:51:17 | |
When was the last time you had a holiday? | 0:51:17 | 0:51:19 | |
I don't do holidays. You know that. | 0:51:19 | 0:51:22 | |
I know, but, well, I'm just thinking about you. | 0:51:22 | 0:51:25 | |
Dah-dah! | 0:51:29 | 0:51:31 | |
Two tickets. The Marriott Hotel on Spaniards Beach in... | 0:51:32 | 0:51:35 | |
-Barbados! -Yeah! | 0:51:35 | 0:51:38 | |
How on earth did I find you? | 0:51:39 | 0:51:41 | |
I found you, remember? | 0:51:41 | 0:51:44 | |
(ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH) | 0:52:21 | 0:52:23 | |
Eve. Why don't we go and get an ice-cream? | 0:52:29 | 0:52:32 | |
-Again? -Yeah. Some days you need two ice-creams. | 0:52:32 | 0:52:35 | |
And it just so happens this is one of those days. | 0:52:37 | 0:52:42 | |
There's more to life than thoughts. There's actions. | 0:52:47 | 0:52:50 | |
Yeah. What sort of actions are playing on your mind? | 0:52:50 | 0:52:53 | |
-Kids. -Kids? | 0:52:55 | 0:52:57 | |
Kids. | 0:52:57 | 0:52:59 | |
Do you think you could not shout "kids" while we're sitting here? | 0:52:59 | 0:53:02 | |
-People might think we're... teachers or something. -I'm serious. | 0:53:02 | 0:53:06 | |
-So am I. Kids?! -Now you're doing it. | 0:53:06 | 0:53:09 | |
You want to talk about them, or you wanna have them? | 0:53:09 | 0:53:12 | |
I think I do. I think I really wanna have them. | 0:53:12 | 0:53:15 | |
-Billy, you're gay. -So are you. It doesn't fuckin' matter. We can adopt. | 0:53:15 | 0:53:20 | |
I know we're legally allowed to adopt, but... | 0:53:20 | 0:53:22 | |
-But what? -But... | 0:53:22 | 0:53:25 | |
-I'm not ready. -You're not ready? You're in your 40s. | 0:53:26 | 0:53:29 | |
-I know straight men in their 40s who aren't ready. -That's different. | 0:53:29 | 0:53:33 | |
-How? -It's not down to them. -Not down to them? -It's the woman's choice. | 0:53:33 | 0:53:37 | |
A straight man can remove any sense of responsibility. We can't. | 0:53:37 | 0:53:41 | |
That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, and I've lived with you | 0:53:41 | 0:53:45 | |
-for 15 years. -I think they'd be a great addition to our relationship. | 0:53:45 | 0:53:49 | |
You can't have kids to add to your relationship. You have kids cos... | 0:53:49 | 0:53:53 | |
-..you wanna have kids. -Exactly. | 0:53:53 | 0:53:55 | |
They're not just for Christmas. You know what you're like. | 0:53:55 | 0:53:58 | |
You'll get bored and send them back to some godforsaken home. | 0:53:58 | 0:54:02 | |
Don't be ridiculous. I think it would be great for us. | 0:54:02 | 0:54:05 | |
But would we be great for them? Why does nobody ever ask that question? | 0:54:05 | 0:54:08 | |
I'm fed up with people starting families just cos they can. | 0:54:08 | 0:54:12 | |
-What about what the kids want? -You sound like Cliff Richard. Stop. | 0:54:12 | 0:54:15 | |
I'm serious. "Look at us, aren't we great for having a child | 0:54:15 | 0:54:18 | |
and calling it Taramasalata and adding to the population | 0:54:18 | 0:54:22 | |
and filling it full of our insecurities and fears?" | 0:54:22 | 0:54:25 | |
-Jesus! -If there's one good thing about being gay, it's that we are | 0:54:25 | 0:54:29 | |
-environmentally friendly. -And that's it, is it? | 0:54:29 | 0:54:32 | |
No, we can also dress well without fear of ridicule. | 0:54:32 | 0:54:35 | |
It might help me settle down. | 0:54:36 | 0:54:38 | |
You're doing it again. "Let's have kids cos it'll make my life better." | 0:54:38 | 0:54:43 | |
Do you think people should have kids for purely altruistic reasons? | 0:54:43 | 0:54:46 | |
-Have you been secretly reading my books? -We are all here because | 0:54:46 | 0:54:50 | |
two people needed something more in their life. What's wrong with that? | 0:54:50 | 0:54:54 | |
My parents didn't speak to one another for a year before I was born, | 0:54:54 | 0:54:58 | |
then I came along and it got better. And they don't regret me coming | 0:54:58 | 0:55:01 | |
and I certainly don't. I mean, admittedly, | 0:55:01 | 0:55:04 | |
they haven't spoken to me in over ten years, but they didn't know | 0:55:04 | 0:55:07 | |
-they were creating a sexual deviant. -They're cave dwellers. Bad example. | 0:55:07 | 0:55:11 | |
But, my point is... that I am the result of truly selfish behaviour | 0:55:11 | 0:55:16 | |
and I'm fuckin' made up about it. | 0:55:16 | 0:55:18 | |
I can see. | 0:55:19 | 0:55:22 | |
I love you, Brian. | 0:55:24 | 0:55:26 | |
And I think having a child would be a... | 0:55:26 | 0:55:28 | |
..an amazing expression of how I feel. | 0:55:28 | 0:55:31 | |
I know that sounds a bit Cliff. | 0:55:31 | 0:55:33 | |
I just think there are enough parents in the world. | 0:55:34 | 0:55:38 | |
-That's why they're closing all the orphanages. -Look, I love kids. | 0:55:38 | 0:55:41 | |
-I've got seven godchildren! -You have seven godchildren | 0:55:41 | 0:55:44 | |
-cos you can't have any and people feel sorry for you. -Bollocks! | 0:55:44 | 0:55:48 | |
-It's cool to have a gay influence. It's North London. -That would stop. | 0:55:48 | 0:55:52 | |
-You'd be a father. -What would you be? -A father. -Two fathers? Nightmare. | 0:55:52 | 0:55:55 | |
-Better than two mothers. -That is sexist. -You've met my mother. | 0:55:55 | 0:55:59 | |
Fair enough. | 0:55:59 | 0:56:02 | |
-We'd have to move. -You're thinking about it? -I think we'd have to move. | 0:56:09 | 0:56:13 | |
-But you don't think it's out of the question. -I dunno. I'll have a think. | 0:56:13 | 0:56:16 | |
Well, that's all I ask, Bri. | 0:56:16 | 0:56:19 | |
-Are you sure you wanna do this? -No, I'm not sure. | 0:56:21 | 0:56:23 | |
-It just keeps playing on my mind. -There are things to consider. | 0:56:23 | 0:56:28 | |
-Of course. -One of us would have to give up work. | 0:56:28 | 0:56:32 | |
-Would we? Why? -Well, of course. | 0:56:32 | 0:56:35 | |
-You can't bring up a baby if you're both working. -Why? | 0:56:35 | 0:56:38 | |
-People do it all the time. -Look at the little wankers they produce. | 0:56:38 | 0:56:41 | |
If you commit to having a child, one of you has to stay at home. | 0:56:41 | 0:56:45 | |
-I had no idea you were so old-fashioned. -I just don't believe | 0:56:45 | 0:56:48 | |
-you can do a good job if you're both as interested in your work. -Oh. | 0:56:48 | 0:56:52 | |
-No, maybe you're right. -No, it's just how I feel. | 0:56:52 | 0:56:55 | |
-So, how much do you earn? -You know how much I earn. | 0:56:58 | 0:57:02 | |
-Considerably less than me. -Yeah. | 0:57:02 | 0:57:04 | |
So, then, I suppose it would have to be you. | 0:57:04 | 0:57:07 | |
You cannot make judgements on a financial basis. That's ridiculous. | 0:57:07 | 0:57:11 | |
I bring in almost twice what you do. If we're gonna support a family, | 0:57:11 | 0:57:15 | |
-by your reckoning, you'd have to give up work. -That's ridiculous! -Why? | 0:57:15 | 0:57:18 | |
Cos work is about more than money. It's about who you are. | 0:57:18 | 0:57:22 | |
-Well, who are you? -I'm a restaurant critic. -Oh. I'm a financial advisor. | 0:57:22 | 0:57:27 | |
I get more pleasure out of my work so you should give up work. | 0:57:27 | 0:57:30 | |
Without my income, we would be out of nappies within a fortnight. | 0:57:30 | 0:57:34 | |
-Without my job I'd be out of my mind in a week. -It has to be about money. | 0:57:34 | 0:57:37 | |
-If I stopped work, how would we cope? -I'd review more restaurants. | 0:57:37 | 0:57:41 | |
It takes you almost a week to do one. | 0:57:41 | 0:57:44 | |
Food is an art, Billy, something you will clearly never understand. | 0:57:44 | 0:57:47 | |
No, I understand, I understand. | 0:57:47 | 0:57:49 | |
Your art is much more important than my... What is it you call it? | 0:57:49 | 0:57:53 | |
Crass pursuit of the impossible financial nirvana. | 0:57:53 | 0:57:56 | |
-You're such a twat at times. -You're a twat at others. We're suited. | 0:57:56 | 0:58:00 | |
-Are we gonna look into this, or not? -Yeah. | 0:58:00 | 0:58:03 | |
-If you give up your work. -Well, no way. I love what I do. | 0:58:04 | 0:58:08 | |
Yeah, well, so do I. | 0:58:08 | 0:58:10 | |
I'd give up all that, that's what I'd give up. | 0:58:19 | 0:58:22 | |
All what? | 0:58:24 | 0:58:26 | |
-You would? -I would. | 0:58:33 | 0:58:37 | |
I promise. | 0:58:37 | 0:58:39 | |
So I give up my job, and you give up the casual sex. | 0:58:39 | 0:58:42 | |
-But there's still a problem. -What? | 0:58:42 | 0:58:45 | |
I don't want kids. | 0:58:46 | 0:58:49 | |
I just want you. | 0:58:50 | 0:58:52 | |
I want both. | 0:58:57 | 0:58:59 | |
We'll see. | 0:59:08 | 0:59:10 | |
-Do you fancy an ice-cream? -Mm, alright. | 0:59:34 | 0:59:38 | |
Be back in a minute. | 0:59:42 | 0:59:45 | |
-Tell me about your husband. -Oh. | 1:00:31 | 1:00:34 | |
I mean, you know, if you want to. | 1:00:34 | 1:00:36 | |
Well, what do you want to know? | 1:00:36 | 1:00:38 | |
Well, I don't know. What was he like? | 1:00:38 | 1:00:41 | |
He was... decent. No one had a bad word to say about him. | 1:00:41 | 1:00:46 | |
-Even you? -Even me. | 1:00:46 | 1:00:49 | |
Tommy loved spending time... | 1:00:49 | 1:00:52 | |
He was never very big on plans. The future. | 1:00:54 | 1:00:57 | |
He said the future was nothing. | 1:00:57 | 1:00:59 | |
That what we had at any given moment was what we had. | 1:00:59 | 1:01:02 | |
He was a regular philosopher, then? | 1:01:02 | 1:01:05 | |
I suppose he was in a way. | 1:01:05 | 1:01:08 | |
I was more of a dreamer. | 1:01:08 | 1:01:10 | |
I liked him. Mostly. | 1:01:13 | 1:01:16 | |
Well, that's a big achievement. You know, after all those years. | 1:01:16 | 1:01:20 | |
And you liked Teresa. | 1:01:20 | 1:01:22 | |
Yes, but I couldn't help... wondering. | 1:01:24 | 1:01:27 | |
Me, too. | 1:01:33 | 1:01:35 | |
Albert Camus. "L'Etranger". | 1:01:45 | 1:01:48 | |
-Oh-la-la. -It's French, right? | 1:01:48 | 1:01:50 | |
-Er, are you French? -Yes, I am. | 1:01:50 | 1:01:53 | |
-Oh, you are French? -Yes. | 1:01:53 | 1:01:56 | |
-I went to France once. -Don't even think about it. Don't! | 1:01:56 | 1:01:59 | |
-OK. -Go away. -Alright, I'll go, then. | 1:01:59 | 1:02:02 | |
-Allez. Allez! -I'm going. -Alright. Degage! | 1:02:02 | 1:02:05 | |
-I'm going. -Degage! -OK! Alright, alright, alright. | 1:02:05 | 1:02:08 | |
You look nice, though, when you're angry. | 1:02:08 | 1:02:10 | |
Degage! | 1:02:10 | 1:02:12 | |
I saw a film once. | 1:02:19 | 1:02:21 | |
It was one of those, er, | 1:02:21 | 1:02:24 | |
"boy meets girl, boy loves girl, | 1:02:24 | 1:02:26 | |
boy marries girl, girl meets another boy, | 1:02:26 | 1:02:31 | |
girl leaves boy, boy goes mad | 1:02:31 | 1:02:34 | |
and boy kills other boy and girl, | 1:02:34 | 1:02:37 | |
and then boy goes to prison" kind of film. | 1:02:37 | 1:02:40 | |
It was all, er, very stressful. | 1:02:40 | 1:02:43 | |
Sounds it. | 1:02:43 | 1:02:45 | |
I'm not sure I get the point. | 1:02:46 | 1:02:49 | |
Well, I don't know, but I think I found a certain comfort | 1:02:49 | 1:02:53 | |
in not being that boy. | 1:02:53 | 1:02:56 | |
Or that girl. | 1:02:56 | 1:02:58 | |
It's all extremely complicated. | 1:02:58 | 1:03:01 | |
Tommy was right. It's a minefield. | 1:03:01 | 1:03:04 | |
I think maybe it's good. | 1:03:04 | 1:03:07 | |
Y'know, things that are completely impossible to understand. | 1:03:07 | 1:03:10 | |
All the best things in life are utterly indecipherable. | 1:03:10 | 1:03:15 | |
I mean, Tommy loved collecting first day covers. | 1:03:15 | 1:03:19 | |
I would ask him, what is it about coloured envelopes | 1:03:19 | 1:03:22 | |
that so intrigued him. He could never explain it. | 1:03:22 | 1:03:25 | |
He said he liked them because they kept on coming, | 1:03:25 | 1:03:28 | |
and his collection got bigger. | 1:03:28 | 1:03:30 | |
It baffled me for years. | 1:03:30 | 1:03:33 | |
And then there came a point | 1:03:33 | 1:03:35 | |
when I began to look forward to them arriving | 1:03:35 | 1:03:38 | |
almost as much as he did. | 1:03:38 | 1:03:40 | |
You see, once you commit yourself to something, | 1:03:40 | 1:03:43 | |
however bizarre it may seem to other people, | 1:03:43 | 1:03:46 | |
you kind of owe it to yourself to enjoy the experience. | 1:03:46 | 1:03:50 | |
(SIGHS) | 1:03:52 | 1:03:54 | |
I hope it's all been worth it. | 1:03:54 | 1:03:57 | |
All those choices we make. | 1:03:57 | 1:04:00 | |
You see what we've done? | 1:04:01 | 1:04:04 | |
We've talked about our partners. | 1:04:04 | 1:04:06 | |
I didn't think we'd do that, you know, if we... met. | 1:04:07 | 1:04:12 | |
-Ooh. -Oh. (CHUCKLES) | 1:04:27 | 1:04:30 | |
Well, this should, er... | 1:04:33 | 1:04:35 | |
-Do it? -Erm, well... | 1:04:38 | 1:04:41 | |
Yes, it should. | 1:04:41 | 1:04:44 | |
It's perfect, yeah. | 1:04:46 | 1:04:48 | |
(BOTH LAUGH) | 1:04:52 | 1:04:55 | |
(SIGHS) | 1:05:08 | 1:05:10 | |
Ooh, I rather assumed.... | 1:05:13 | 1:05:16 | |
-But if you don't... -What is it? | 1:05:16 | 1:05:19 | |
-Chateauneuf-du-Pape, '93. -Good year. | 1:05:19 | 1:05:22 | |
Do you think? | 1:05:22 | 1:05:25 | |
Oh, I don't know. | 1:05:26 | 1:05:29 | |
-Whoops. -Oh. -No, no. | 1:05:50 | 1:05:53 | |
(BOTH LAUGH) | 1:05:56 | 1:05:58 | |
Shall I be Mummy? | 1:06:13 | 1:06:15 | |
Why not? | 1:06:17 | 1:06:19 | |
-Just hope it lives up to its billing. -What is its billing? | 1:06:23 | 1:06:27 | |
Well, I'm led to understand that this particular year | 1:06:27 | 1:06:30 | |
is light on the palate, a little oaky, | 1:06:30 | 1:06:33 | |
but with an affectionate aftertaste. | 1:06:33 | 1:06:35 | |
Mm. Oh, oh... Erm... | 1:06:37 | 1:06:39 | |
Thank you. | 1:06:40 | 1:06:42 | |
Cheers. | 1:06:46 | 1:06:48 | |
Mm. | 1:06:53 | 1:06:54 | |
-Very smooth. -Eh? | 1:07:01 | 1:07:03 | |
-(COUGHS) Yes. Do you not think? -Smooth, indeed. | 1:07:04 | 1:07:10 | |
-Cheese? -Er, yes, please. | 1:07:10 | 1:07:14 | |
Although I should probably keep a close eye on it at my age. | 1:07:14 | 1:07:17 | |
I know what you mean. | 1:07:17 | 1:07:20 | |
I-I didn't mean I know what you mean about you having to keep a close... | 1:07:20 | 1:07:24 | |
I mean I do, as well. Not that you do. | 1:07:24 | 1:07:27 | |
No, I just put on weight walking past a boulangerie. | 1:07:27 | 1:07:31 | |
-A boulangerie. -Sorry, it's French for bakery. | 1:07:31 | 1:07:35 | |
Yes, I know. | 1:07:36 | 1:07:38 | |
Jeremy was telling me about your book collection. | 1:07:43 | 1:07:47 | |
-Was he? -Yes. | 1:07:47 | 1:07:49 | |
He says you can get hold of any book in print | 1:07:49 | 1:07:53 | |
with 48 hours' notice. | 1:07:53 | 1:07:56 | |
Yes, well, I'm not a collector, I'm a dealer. | 1:07:56 | 1:07:59 | |
-Oh, a dealer. -Yes, yes. | 1:07:59 | 1:08:01 | |
I buy and sell books. Jeremy likes to pretend to himself | 1:08:01 | 1:08:04 | |
that it's some sort of hobby of mine or something. | 1:08:04 | 1:08:07 | |
He did speak very highly of your "collection". (LAUGHS) | 1:08:07 | 1:08:10 | |
Yes, well, it's just his little... joke, I suppose. | 1:08:10 | 1:08:14 | |
-How about you? -Me? | 1:08:18 | 1:08:22 | |
Oh, I work for a charity. | 1:08:22 | 1:08:25 | |
-Very worthy. -Isn't it? | 1:08:25 | 1:08:28 | |
I'm sorry, I was just agreeing with you. | 1:08:31 | 1:08:33 | |
-Do you agree with everyone? -No, of course not. | 1:08:33 | 1:08:37 | |
I was being self-deprecating | 1:08:37 | 1:08:39 | |
but, as it happens, charity work is very hard and very worthwhile. | 1:08:39 | 1:08:43 | |
Yes, must be. What sort of people do you help? | 1:08:43 | 1:08:46 | |
-What sort of people? -Yes, I mean, erm, | 1:08:46 | 1:08:49 | |
-poor people, starving people, black people? -Black people? -Yes. | 1:08:49 | 1:08:54 | |
You think black people need help? | 1:08:54 | 1:08:56 | |
-Well... -I think you might need some help. | 1:08:56 | 1:08:59 | |
Well, that's very possibly true, but I meant Africans, not... | 1:09:00 | 1:09:03 | |
I meant Africans, not black people as a race. | 1:09:03 | 1:09:06 | |
-You're wondering whether I was just being racist. -No, not whether. Why. | 1:09:07 | 1:09:11 | |
-Is that racist? -Yes. | 1:09:11 | 1:09:14 | |
-It's so tricky nowadays, don't you think? -Tricky? | 1:09:14 | 1:09:17 | |
I mean, last week I was told off for referring to my lovely newsagent | 1:09:17 | 1:09:22 | |
-as coloured. -Instead of Asian? | 1:09:22 | 1:09:25 | |
Asian? No, he's black. | 1:09:25 | 1:09:27 | |
I think you may have been racist. | 1:09:28 | 1:09:31 | |
Do you? | 1:09:32 | 1:09:34 | |
Assuming he was Asian because he was a newsagent, | 1:09:34 | 1:09:37 | |
when, in fact, he's from Somalia. | 1:09:37 | 1:09:40 | |
-My mother was asking me about work. -Uh-huh. | 1:09:48 | 1:09:51 | |
I said it was good. She didn't believe me. | 1:09:51 | 1:09:54 | |
She's convinced I have no idea who I am or what I want. | 1:09:54 | 1:09:57 | |
All mothers think like that. | 1:09:57 | 1:09:59 | |
It's what connects them to their children. | 1:09:59 | 1:10:02 | |
Well, I know she doesn't really understand what I do, | 1:10:02 | 1:10:05 | |
but she won't let it go. | 1:10:05 | 1:10:07 | |
-She has no idea what you do? -No. | 1:10:07 | 1:10:09 | |
All she needs to know is that I love what I do. | 1:10:09 | 1:10:13 | |
My point exactly. But she's proud of you. | 1:10:13 | 1:10:16 | |
-How do you know? -Well, you told me. | 1:10:17 | 1:10:20 | |
Hey, I tell you a lot of things. I'm like that. | 1:10:20 | 1:10:23 | |
-And that's why I love you. -I know. | 1:10:23 | 1:10:25 | |
Excuse me, mate, erm, can I get a light, please? | 1:10:25 | 1:10:30 | |
Yeah, sure. | 1:10:30 | 1:10:32 | |
Very nice. | 1:10:33 | 1:10:36 | |
-I'm sorry? -I-I said very nice. | 1:10:36 | 1:10:39 | |
-What's very nice? -She looks very nice. | 1:10:39 | 1:10:42 | |
-Do you want to fuck off? -Erm... | 1:10:43 | 1:10:47 | |
How dare you fucking talk to me like that? Go on, fuck off! | 1:10:47 | 1:10:51 | |
Erm, sorry. I'm not having a very good day today. I'm sorry. | 1:10:51 | 1:10:56 | |
Just leave. | 1:10:57 | 1:10:59 | |
Can you believe that? | 1:11:05 | 1:11:07 | |
What makes someone think it's remotely OK | 1:11:08 | 1:11:10 | |
to walk up to a man and say, "Your girlfriend's very nice"? | 1:11:10 | 1:11:14 | |
"Very nice"? | 1:11:14 | 1:11:16 | |
Unbelievable. | 1:11:16 | 1:11:18 | |
There should be a law. | 1:11:18 | 1:11:20 | |
Oh, I've missed you, Louis. | 1:11:20 | 1:11:23 | |
Yeah? You, too. | 1:11:23 | 1:11:26 | |
(BOTH EXHALE) | 1:11:36 | 1:11:38 | |
After finally climbing this infernal hill, | 1:11:45 | 1:11:48 | |
after all those years of thinking about it, what you're saying is, | 1:11:48 | 1:11:52 | |
the view is better from where we were. | 1:11:52 | 1:11:54 | |
Well, on reflection, yes. | 1:11:56 | 1:11:58 | |
I think you're right. | 1:12:00 | 1:12:02 | |
It may not be as high, but it did seem clearer. | 1:12:03 | 1:12:07 | |
I mean, maybe it's just what we're used to. | 1:12:07 | 1:12:10 | |
I've never been a fan of change. | 1:12:11 | 1:12:13 | |
-Never been a risk taker. -Apparently not. | 1:12:13 | 1:12:16 | |
I'll never be Thierry Henry, you know? | 1:12:18 | 1:12:22 | |
Well, that's good. It means you'll never be responsible | 1:12:22 | 1:12:25 | |
-for my champagne-infused death. -Why do you like me, Esther? | 1:12:25 | 1:12:30 | |
-Why? -Yeah. Why do you miss me? | 1:12:31 | 1:12:35 | |
What is it about me that makes you pleased to see me? | 1:12:36 | 1:12:39 | |
-Are you fishing for compliments? -No. I'm asking for them. | 1:12:39 | 1:12:43 | |
OK. | 1:12:45 | 1:12:47 | |
-I like you because you're honest. -Mm-hm. | 1:12:49 | 1:12:52 | |
I like you because you know how to listen, and you know when not to. | 1:12:52 | 1:12:57 | |
I like you because | 1:12:57 | 1:12:59 | |
when you take my hand and when you touch my neck, | 1:12:59 | 1:13:02 | |
you're not just touching, you're... | 1:13:02 | 1:13:05 | |
I don't know. I like you. | 1:13:07 | 1:13:10 | |
-Do you wanna know why I like you? -I don't know. | 1:13:11 | 1:13:14 | |
I think sometimes it's good to never quite know. It's good to guess. | 1:13:14 | 1:13:19 | |
-What? Keeps it interesting? -The most important thing in any relationship, | 1:13:19 | 1:13:23 | |
-no matter what kind. -So you don't wanna know why I like you? | 1:13:23 | 1:13:27 | |
Well, of course I do. Do you think I'm mad? | 1:13:27 | 1:13:29 | |
-Good, cos I'm gonna tell you. -Go on. | 1:13:29 | 1:13:32 | |
I like you because you don't try and change me. | 1:13:32 | 1:13:36 | |
You just let me be myself. | 1:13:36 | 1:13:38 | |
-Is that it? -That's it. | 1:13:41 | 1:13:43 | |
There's nothing about my, er, | 1:13:45 | 1:13:47 | |
-wonderful sense of humour? -Ah. | 1:13:47 | 1:13:50 | |
My long legs? My sensitive touch? | 1:13:50 | 1:13:54 | |
-My witty repartee? -No, those are the reasons I love you. | 1:13:54 | 1:13:57 | |
-We're talking about like. -What? | 1:13:57 | 1:13:59 | |
It's much easier to love someone than it is to like them. | 1:13:59 | 1:14:02 | |
OK. | 1:14:02 | 1:14:05 | |
Yeah, I like that. Those things I said, they're why I love you, | 1:14:05 | 1:14:08 | |
-they're not why I like you. -OK. -Do you want to know why I like you? | 1:14:08 | 1:14:12 | |
-No, I think I know. -I think you do. | 1:14:12 | 1:14:15 | |
-When do I see you next? -You tell me. We're not done yet, are we? | 1:14:26 | 1:14:31 | |
I'm sorry. I've got things I need to sort out. | 1:14:31 | 1:14:35 | |
Erm, it's 150 now. The agency changed the rates. | 1:14:38 | 1:14:42 | |
-Worth every penny. -I can't wait for Barbados. | 1:14:45 | 1:14:49 | |
-I can't wait for next time. -Maybe we could have sex. | 1:14:49 | 1:14:53 | |
That's not how this works. | 1:14:53 | 1:14:55 | |
I know. | 1:14:55 | 1:14:57 | |
So, you never married? | 1:15:30 | 1:15:32 | |
No. | 1:15:32 | 1:15:34 | |
-I was married. -Yes. | 1:15:35 | 1:15:38 | |
It was the most wonderful three and a half months of my life. | 1:15:38 | 1:15:42 | |
Three and a half months? | 1:15:42 | 1:15:44 | |
Well, you've gotta give it a chance. | 1:15:44 | 1:15:47 | |
(BOTH LAUGH) | 1:15:48 | 1:15:51 | |
-So, has there never been anyone? -Oh, yes, I'm not a... | 1:16:03 | 1:16:07 | |
(LAUGHS) Relax. I'm talking about love, not sex. | 1:16:07 | 1:16:13 | |
Have you ever been in love? | 1:16:13 | 1:16:16 | |
No. | 1:16:18 | 1:16:21 | |
Never? Not even as a teenager? | 1:16:21 | 1:16:25 | |
No, absolutely not. | 1:16:25 | 1:16:28 | |
Does that seem a little odd? | 1:16:29 | 1:16:32 | |
Odd? | 1:16:32 | 1:16:34 | |
Well,... a little, yes. | 1:16:34 | 1:16:37 | |
I suppose it is. I mean, everywhere I look, | 1:16:37 | 1:16:40 | |
people seem to be falling in love or talking about it or claiming it. | 1:16:40 | 1:16:44 | |
Playing it out. | 1:16:44 | 1:16:46 | |
Playing it out? | 1:16:51 | 1:16:53 | |
I like that. | 1:16:55 | 1:16:57 | |
Do you think I could have another...? | 1:17:02 | 1:17:04 | |
Ooh, yes. | 1:17:04 | 1:17:06 | |
I think it is living up to its billing after all. | 1:17:06 | 1:17:10 | |
I'm... I'm glad. | 1:17:10 | 1:17:12 | |
I never wanted children. | 1:17:14 | 1:17:17 | |
-Children? -Yes. | 1:17:17 | 1:17:20 | |
-Children? -Yes. | 1:17:20 | 1:17:22 | |
They're sort of small adults that we love and adore, | 1:17:22 | 1:17:25 | |
-until they grow up and leave us. -No, me neither. I hated being one, | 1:17:25 | 1:17:29 | |
-and I've never met one who can hold a decent conversation. -Oh, indeed. | 1:17:29 | 1:17:33 | |
I've never met a parent that can, either. | 1:17:33 | 1:17:36 | |
-I hate what happens to my friends when they become parents. -Jeremy. | 1:17:36 | 1:17:40 | |
Oh, God, yes. | 1:17:40 | 1:17:42 | |
-(LAUGHS) -Jeremy. | 1:17:42 | 1:17:44 | |
They invited me round for dinner the other night. I was back home by 8.30. | 1:17:44 | 1:17:48 | |
(LAUGHS) Is it me,... | 1:17:48 | 1:17:52 | |
..or is their son the spitting image of that, er, | 1:17:53 | 1:17:57 | |
-little chap from "Fantasy Island"? -(IN FRENCH ACCENT) The plane, boss! | 1:17:57 | 1:18:01 | |
-(LAUGHS) Yes. That's him. -(LAUGHS) | 1:18:01 | 1:18:04 | |
You're so right. I knew he reminded me of someone. | 1:18:05 | 1:18:08 | |
I was always veering towards Danny DeVito, though. | 1:18:08 | 1:18:12 | |
(LAUGHS) | 1:18:12 | 1:18:14 | |
Yes, I can see that. | 1:18:25 | 1:18:28 | |
Could you love Danny DeVito? | 1:18:28 | 1:18:30 | |
I'd like to have a child. | 1:18:39 | 1:18:42 | |
Me, too. | 1:18:43 | 1:18:45 | |
They're strange, aren't they? | 1:18:52 | 1:18:55 | |
-Well, Jeremy's is. -(LAUGHS) | 1:18:55 | 1:18:58 | |
No. | 1:18:58 | 1:18:59 | |
-Blind dates. -Oh. | 1:18:59 | 1:19:03 | |
-Yeah. -This is my first. | 1:19:03 | 1:19:07 | |
-Really? -Mm. | 1:19:08 | 1:19:10 | |
-How old are you? -How old? | 1:19:11 | 1:19:14 | |
-Sorry, that is a terrible question. -It's fine. | 1:19:14 | 1:19:18 | |
-I'm 43. -I'm 41. | 1:19:18 | 1:19:21 | |
Well, you have... | 1:19:21 | 1:19:23 | |
You have time. | 1:19:24 | 1:19:26 | |
I think we both know that's something I don't have. | 1:19:28 | 1:19:31 | |
You have some time. | 1:19:33 | 1:19:36 | |
Some. | 1:19:37 | 1:19:39 | |
Shall we... | 1:19:42 | 1:19:44 | |
..walk, or...? | 1:19:45 | 1:19:47 | |
-Walk? -We don't have to. | 1:19:48 | 1:19:52 | |
No, no. | 1:19:53 | 1:19:56 | |
-A walk would be... -(DISTANT VOICES) | 1:19:57 | 1:20:00 | |
A walk... | 1:20:06 | 1:20:08 | |
..would be great, yes. | 1:20:10 | 1:20:12 | |
You know what? I ought to get back to the shop soon. | 1:20:18 | 1:20:23 | |
Really? Oh. | 1:20:23 | 1:20:25 | |
-What about the walk? -Very nice meeting you. | 1:20:27 | 1:20:30 | |
Oh. Er, you, too. | 1:20:30 | 1:20:33 | |
-Are you OK? -OK? Yeah. I'm fine. | 1:20:34 | 1:20:38 | |
Time just seemed to run away with me. | 1:20:40 | 1:20:42 | |
-With us. -Hm. | 1:20:43 | 1:20:46 | |
Bloke with sunglasses and a blazer, and she's off. Anyone but me. | 1:20:48 | 1:20:53 | |
Well, I'll tell you something. | 1:21:27 | 1:21:29 | |
The view may be slightly disappointing, | 1:21:29 | 1:21:32 | |
but it's been nice to spend some time up here with the kites. | 1:21:32 | 1:21:36 | |
Hasn't it? | 1:21:36 | 1:21:38 | |
You know, I think Tommy was right all along. | 1:21:39 | 1:21:43 | |
No point in wishing your life away with your head in the clouds. | 1:21:43 | 1:21:48 | |
And I think the walk has done us both good. | 1:21:50 | 1:21:54 | |
So, how about a dance? | 1:21:55 | 1:21:57 | |
I don't think you're the person I thought you were. | 1:21:59 | 1:22:02 | |
-Oh? -No, it's a good thing. | 1:22:02 | 1:22:05 | |
-You've surprised me. -Well, I don't know what to think about that. | 1:22:06 | 1:22:10 | |
No, really, it's fine. It's just that... | 1:22:10 | 1:22:13 | |
Look, I'm no dancer, never have been. | 1:22:15 | 1:22:18 | |
Oh, me neither. | 1:22:18 | 1:22:20 | |
Maybe we could just have a cup of tea. | 1:22:20 | 1:22:23 | |
Now? | 1:22:23 | 1:22:25 | |
Well, I could break the habit of a lifetime, | 1:22:25 | 1:22:28 | |
come here on a Wednesday? | 1:22:28 | 1:22:32 | |
You know, take a chance. | 1:22:33 | 1:22:35 | |
-Eddie? -Yes? | 1:22:37 | 1:22:40 | |
You know, I think I might change my routine as well. | 1:22:40 | 1:22:43 | |
I think I might visit Tommy's grave on Wednesday. | 1:22:44 | 1:22:48 | |
We had a good time. | 1:22:49 | 1:22:52 | |
I never realised that. | 1:22:52 | 1:22:55 | |
Well, I've always felt that Thursdays | 1:23:02 | 1:23:05 | |
have a better feel about them, anyway. | 1:23:05 | 1:23:08 | |
You know, back of the week broken and all that. | 1:23:09 | 1:23:12 | |
I mean, I'd very much like to... | 1:23:12 | 1:23:14 | |
You know, there are other hills to climb. | 1:23:16 | 1:23:19 | |
Heath's a huge place. | 1:23:21 | 1:23:24 | |
Endless... | 1:23:24 | 1:23:26 | |
..possibilities. | 1:23:26 | 1:23:28 | |
So, it's just you and me. | 1:24:02 | 1:24:04 | |
I know. I know. | 1:24:05 | 1:24:09 | |
(SIGHS) | 1:24:11 | 1:24:13 | |
I know. | 1:24:16 | 1:24:18 | |
Hey. | 1:24:18 | 1:24:20 | |
I love you, too. | 1:24:20 | 1:24:22 | |
You cheeky bugger! | 1:24:51 | 1:24:53 | |
Come here. | 1:24:57 | 1:24:59 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 1:25:03 | 1:25:05 | |
Email [email protected] | 1:25:05 | 1:25:07 |