The Lady Vanishes

MEN SPEAK GERMAN

CLOCK CHIMES

Allo!

MAN SPEAKS ITALIAN

-What's all this fuss about, Charters?

-I'm hanged if I know.

MAN SPEAKS GERMAN

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry,

the train is little bit up-hold.

And if you wish to stay in my hotel, you have to register immediately.

Why the deuce didn't he say so in the first place?

Ah!

Oh! How do you do, Miss Henderson? How do you do, ladies?

It's a great honour to have you with us again.

Nice to see you too, Boris. You haven't changed a bit since Friday.

-I see you haven't shaved either.

-Is everything ready?

Everything is ready. I didn't change anything.

Not even the sheets, we know.

-Lead on, Boris.

-You see, I didn't expect you to come so quickly.

Well, our legs gave out on us.

-We had to do the last lap in a farm car.

-Oh!

I see we've got company.

Don't tell me Cook's are running cheap tours here?

-What is it, Boris?

-It's the avalanche.

-Avalunch?

-Avalanche, Boris. Avalanche.

In the spring, we've got many avalanches.

You know, the snow goes bloop, and everything disappear.

Even train disappear under the avalanche.

But I'm going home tomorrow. How long before they dig it up?

By morning, it's lucky for you.

You can leave by this train instead of your own.

How you say it? It's a bad wind that blow nowhere no good.

Talking of wind, we've not eaten since dawn.

-Serve us supper in our room, Boris, in our room.

-I could eat a horse.

Don't put ideas into his head.

-Some chicken, Boris, and a magnum of champagne, and make it snappy.

-Yes.

Bandrika may have a dictator, but tonight we're painting it red.

Meanwhile, we have to stand here cooling our heels, I suppose.

-Confounded impudence!

-Third-rate country. What do you expect?

-I wonder who those women were.

-Possibly Americans, I should think.

You know, almighty dollar, old man.

I suppose we'll have to wait here.

If only we hadn't missed the train at Budapest.

I don't want to rub it in, but if you hadn't insisted standing

while they sang their national anthem...

Yes, but you must show respect, Caldicott.

Of course, if I'd known it would last 20 minutes...

It's my contention that the Hungarian Rhapsody

is not their national anthem.

-Any case, we were the only two standing.

-That's true.

Well, I suppose we should be in time after all.

I doubt it. That last report was pretty ghastly, do you remember?

-"England on the Brink".

-Yes, but that's newspaper sensationalism.

-The old country's been in tight corners before.

-Looks pretty black.

Even if we get away first thing, there's the connection at Basle.

We'll probably be hours.

-That's true.

-Well, somebody surely can help us.

Sir, do you happen to know what time the train leaves Basle for England?

HE SPEAKS GERMAN

Oh, really? Fellow doesn't speak English.

ALL SHOUT

Allo, Alex?

HE SPEAKS GERMAN

..champagne, Miss Anderson.

BOTH SPEAK FRENCH

Here's one leaves Basle, 21.20.

-21.20?

-Yes.

-20, 20, 12 from 21 is...

-Yes. 21 from 20...

One, two, three, four, five...

I regret, sir, there is only left two single room in front,

or a little double room at the back.

-We'll take the two singles.

-Very well, sir. Here is it.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

At least you might have asked me which I preferred.

My dear, a small double room at the back in a place like this!

You weren't so particular in Paris last autumn.

It was quite different then. The exhibition was at its height.

I realise that now. There's no need to rub it in.

-We want a private suite with a bath.

-Facing the mountain.

-With a shower.

-Hot and cold.

-And a private thingummy, if you've got one.

Well, I'm sorry gentlemen, the only things I've got is the maid's room.

-What?

-I'm sorry, the hotel is jammed to the sky.

That's impossible, we haven't fixed up yet.

You can't expect to put two of us up in the maid's room.

Don't get excited, I'll remove the maid out.

I should think so. What? What are you talking about?

-I think I'd sooner sleep on the train.

-Would you?

-There is no 'eating in the train.

-No eating?

Yes, I mean, ha! Heating. Brrr!

-Oh, heating, no heating.

-That's awkward. All right, we'll take it.

Just a minute, on one condition -

you have to have the maid comes to your room and remove her wardrobe.

Anna!

She's a good girl, and I don't want to lose her.

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

We'd better go and grab it.

-Rather primitive humour.

-Grown-up children, you know.

That was rather an awkward situation over that girl.

-Pity he couldn't have given us one each.

-Eh?

-I mean, er, a room apiece.

-Oh.

I, Iris Matilda Henderson, a spinster of no particular parish,

do hereby solemnly renounce my maidenly past,

and do declare that on Thursday next, the 26th inst,

being in my right mind, I shall take the veil and the orange blossom,

and change my name to Lady Charles Fotheringale.

Can't you get him to change his name instead?

The only thing I like about him is his moustache.

You're a couple of cynics. I'm very fond of him.

Well, I'm fond of rabbits, but they have to be kept down.

Rudolf, give me a hand.

Have you ever read about that little thing called love?

It used to be very popular.

Child, the carpet is already laid at St George's, Hanover Square,

and father's simply aching to have a coat of arms on the jam label.

To Iris and the happy days she's leaving behind.

And the blue-blooded cheque-chaser she's dashing to London to marry.

The blue-blooded cheque-chaser!

I've no regrets. I've been everywhere and done everything.

I've eaten caviar at Cannes, sausage rolls with the dogs.

I've played baccarat at Biarritz and darts with the Rural Dean.

What is there left for me but marriage?

BOTH SPEAK GERMAN

It's this hanging about that gets me.

If only we knew what was happening in England.

Mustn't lose grip, Charters. KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in.

SHE SPEAKS GERMAN

-Did you follow that?

-I did.

Tell her this has gone far enough.

There is no, er, no change, change here.

Erm, outside.

SHE SPEAKS GERMAN

-She doesn't understand.

-No. Come on.

Ow!

Nothing newer than last month.

I don't suppose there's such a thing as a wireless set here.

Awful being in the dark. Our communications cut off in a crisis.

'Allo, 'allo. London?

You want Mr Seltzer? Yes, hold on, I'm going right to find where he is.

London!

Go on, risk it.

Hello. Hello, you, you in London.

No, I'm not Mr Seltzer. Name's Charters.

I don't suppose you know me.

You needn't worry. They've just gone to fetch him.

Tell me, what's happening to England?

Blowing a gale? No, you don't follow me, sir.

I'm enquiring about the Test match in Manchester.

Cricket, sir, cricket! What, you don't know?

You can't be in England and not know the Test score.

-Fellow says he doesn't know.

-Silly arse.

Can't you find out? Oh, nonsense, it won't take a second.

All right, if you won't, you won't.

Wasting my time. The fellow's an ignoramus!

Mr Seltzer, at last, your call come through to London.

Hello? Hello, hello?

HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Thank you, waiter.

What would you say to a grilled steak?

That's a very good idea. Well done for me.

On the red side for me.

HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

They have a passion for repeating themselves.

-I beg your pardon.

-Mm-hm?

He's trying to explain that, owing to the number of visitors,

there's no food left.

No food?! What sort of place is this?

Expect us to share a blasted dog box

with a servant girl on an empty stomach.

Is that hospitality? Is that organisation?

Oh, thank you.

-I'm hungry.

-What a country. I don't wonder they have revolutions.

You're welcome to what's left of the cheese.

-Of course, it's not steak, but it's rich in vitamins.

-Really? Thank you.

I am afraid they're not accustomed to catering for so many.

-Bandrika is one of Europe's undiscovered corners.

-Yes.

That's probably cos there's nothing worth discovering, I should think.

You may not know it as well as I do.

I'm feeling quite miserable at the thought of leaving it.

-After you with the cheese, please.

-Why not? So you're going home?

Tomorrow. My little charges are quite grown up.

I'm a governess and music teacher, you know.

In the six years I've lived here,

I've grown to love the country, especially the mountains.

I sometimes thinks they're like very friendly neighbours.

The father and mother mountain, with their white snow hats,

and their nephews and nieces, not quite so big, with smaller hats,

right down to the tiniest hillock, without any hat at all.

-Well, of course, that's just my fancy.

-Oh, really?

I like to watch them from my bedroom every night when there's a moon.

I'm so glad there's a moon tonight.

MAN SINGS

Do you hear that music?

Everyone sings here. The people are just like happy children,

with laughter on their lips and music in their hearts.

It's not reflected in their politics, you know.

I never think you should judge a country by its politics.

After all, we English are quite honest by nature, aren't we?

You'll excuse me if I run away?

-Goodnight.

-Goodnight.

Queer sort of bird.

A trifle whimsical, I thought.

After six years in this hole, we'd be whimsical.

Oh, I don't think so, old man. She was very decent about that cheese.

I see she's finished the pickles.

Goodnight, Iris. Listen, someone's serenading.

Oh, let him. Nothing'll keep me awake tonight.

Goodnight, my children.

MAN SINGS

LOUD RHYTHMIC THUDS

What's happening? An earthquake?

That wouldn't account for the music, would it? What a horrible noise!

-What can they be doing?

-I don't know, but I'll soon find out.

Hello?

THUDDING CONTINUES

Musical country, this.

Yes, I feel quite sorry for that poor singer outside,

having to compete with this.

Boris, Miss Henderson speaking.

Look, someone upstairs is playing musical chairs with an elephant.

Move one of them out, will you? I want to get some sleep. All right.

-That ought to settle it.

-Thank you so much.

Some people have so little consideration for others,

which makes life so much more difficult than it need be,

don't you think? Goodnight. Thank you so much.

I expect you'll be going for the train in the morning.

-Yes.

-I hope we shall meet again under...

Under quieter circumstances.

-Goodnight.

-Goodnight.

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

Miss, please, I'll fix everything.

You'd better.

THUDDING CONTINUES

Hold it. Don't move, don't move.

-HE CLEARS THROAT

-Er...

-..if you please, sir...

-Get out!

One, two.

THUDDING RESUMES

Please, sir, will you kindly stop?

They're all complaining in the hotel. You make too much noise.

-Too much what?

-Too much noise.

You dare to call it a noise. The ancient music with which

your peasant ancestors celebrated every wedding for generations.

The dance they danced when your father married your mother,

supposing you were born in wedlock, which I doubt. Look at them!

-I take it you're the manager of this...

-Sure, I am the manager!

Fortunately, I'm accustomed to squalor. Tell me, who's complaining?

This young English lady underneath.

You tell the young English lady underneath

that I am putting on record, for the benefit of mankind,

one of the lost folk dances of central Europe.

And furthermost, she does not own this hotel.

Sir, don't you understand...?

Now, one, two.

THUDDING RESUMES

You know what he said? "Who she think she is, the Queen of Sheba?

"She think she owns this hotel?"

-Can't you get rid of him?

-Impossible!

-Are you sure?

-I begin to wonder.

It's come back to me. I've got an idea.

The German lady, she will call him on the telephone.

She will say, "Young man, it's my room.

-"I did pay for it. Get out quickly." How's that?

-Good enough.

Then shock him with a little sh!

He'll never forget it as long as long as he live.

Nothing but baseball.

You know, we used to call it rounders.

Children play it with a rubber ball and a stick.

Not a word about cricket.

Americans have got no sense of proportion.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

HE WHISTLES

HE WHISTLES

SHE SPEAKS GERMAN

I can't stand this ridiculous lack of privacy. Lock the door.

Oh!

SHE SPEAKS GERMAN

Who are you? What do you want?

HE PLAYS FIDDLE

-Recognise the signature tune?

-Will you please get out?

Oh, this is a much better room. Definitely an acceptable room.

What exactly do you think you're doing? Keep away.

Would you hold those for a minute?

Put those back at once.

-Which side do you like to sleep?

-Do you want me to throw you out?

In that case, I'll sleep in the middle.

Smart of you to bribe the manager.

An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a toothbrush.

I suppose you realise you're behaving like a complete cad.

On the contrary. You're perfectly at liberty to sleep

in the corridor, if you want to.

-Hello?

-Oh, I shouldn't, if I were you.

I'd only tell everyone you invited me here.

And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. I have a powerful voice.

Come out of there at once!

Not until you bribe the manager to restore me to my attic.

Come out of that bathroom!

HE SINGS

Hello, Boris? Look, I was thinking,

I might change my mind about that room upstairs if...

Oh, by the way, you might have my things taken upstairs, would you?

You're the most contemptible person I've ever met in all my life.

-WHISPERS:

-Confidentially, I think you're a bit of a stinker, too.

MAN SINGS

HE CHOKES

SHE SINGS TO HERSELF

ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS

I hope to get to Basle on time.

-We should see the last day of the match.

-Hope the weather's like this

in Manchester. Perfect wicket for our fellas.

-Isn't it somewhere along here?

-If you don't hurry, Margaret,

-we shan't get a compartment to ourselves.

-Does it matter?

-Well, there's still time to change your mind, Iris.

-Yes.

Why not send Charles a telegram, tell him he's all washed up?

No, it's too late. This time next week, I shall be a sunburnt offering

on an altar in Hanover Square.

I shan't mind, really.

Oh, good morning.

I can't find my bag.

It's a brown holdall. Have you seen...?

No, of course not. Thank you. I gave it to the porter...

Oh, she dropped her glasses.

-You dropped your glasses.

-Thank you.

-Oh!

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, my dear.

Darling, are you hurt?

I don't know. What was it?

HE SPEAKS GERMAN

Never mind about that. This cockeyed station has brained my friend!

-Yes, indeed.

-What are you going to do about it?

-HE SPEAKS GERMAN

-He says he can't hold the train.

HE BLOWS WHISTLE

-Hurry up, it's going!

-Yes, my dear.

-I'll be all right.

-Are you sure? Be careful.

Don't worry, I'll look after her. Such carelessness.

You sure you're all right?

-Send us a copy of The Times. Write and tell us all about it.

-Good luck.

Look after yourself.

There, there. You'll be all right in a minute.

Just take everything quietly.

Put some of this eau de Cologne on your head.

-Do you feel any better?

-Yes, thank you. I'm all right now.

What you need is a good strong cup of tea.

-I'll ring for the attendant.

-No, no, please don't bother.

I'll go to the dining car myself. I need some air.

Oh, well, in that case, I'll come with you.

-If you don't mind, that is.

-No, of course not.

Oh, I beg your pardon. I'm so sorry.

You can always tell a honeymoon couple, you know. They're so shy.

-Why did you do that?

-We don't want people staring at us.

Anyone would think the whole legal profession were dogging you.

One would be enough.

You thought that beggar in Damascus was a barrister in disguise.

I merely said his face was distinguished enough for a judge.

You hurried off in the opposite direction, I noticed.

That's not true. I was looking for a street called Street.

-You weren't so careful the first two days.

-I know, I know.

And anyways, as for you meeting someone you know, what about me?

Robert thinks I'm cruising with mother.

If one's feeling a little bit shaky,

I always think it's best to sit in the middle of the coach,

preferably facing the engine.

-A pot of tea for two, please.

-Very good.

-Oh, and just a minute.

Will you please tell them to make it from this? I don't drink any other.

And make absolutely sure that the water is really boiling.

You understand?

It's a little fad of mine. My father and mother -

who, I'm thankful to say are still alive and enjoying

good health - invariably drink it.

And so I follow their footsteps.

Do you know, a million Mexicans drink it?

At least, that's what it says on the packet.

It's kind of you to help me like this.

I don't think we've introduced ourselves.

-My name is Iris Henderson. I'm going home to be married.

-Really?

-How very exciting. I do hope you'll be happy.

-Thank you.

You'll have children, won't you? They make such a difference.

I always think it's being with kiddies so much that's made me,

if I may say so, young for my age.

I'm a governess, you know. My name's Froy.

WHISTLE BLASTS

-Did you say Flora?

-Froy.

-I'm sorry, I can't hear.

Froy. It rhymes with joy.

Thank you. Please reserve two places for lunch.

-That is, if you care to have it with me?

-Of course.

There's nothing moot about it, it simply wasn't out, that's all.

But for the umpire's blunder, he'd still be batting.

What do you mean? I don't understand.

I'll show you. Look here, I saw the whole thing.

Now then, there's Hammond, there's the bowler, there's the umpire.

-Sugar?

-Two, please.

Dear me, there is no sugar.

Now watch this very, very carefully, Caldicott. Grimmet was bowling...

May I trouble you for the sugar, please?

-What?

-The sugar, please.

HE SIGHS

Thank you so much.

If I were you, I'd try and get a little sleep.

It'll make you feel quite well again.

There's an intriguing acrostic in The Needlewoman.

I'm going to try and unravel it before you wake up.

BOTH LAUGH

SHE SINGS TO HERSELF

WHISTLE BLASTS

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

Reservations for lunch, please.

Madam has booked for lunch?

I think my friend did. She's got the tickets.

-Have you seen my friend?

-No?

Erm, my friend, where is she?

La signora Inglese, the English lady, where is she?

-There has been no English lady here.

-What?

There has been no English lady here.

There has. She sat there, in the corner.

You saw her, you spoke to her. She sat next to you.

But it's ridiculous.

She took me to the dining car and came back here with me.

You went and came back alone.

Maybe you don't understand -

I mean the lady who looked after me when I was knocked out.

Ah, perhaps it make you forget, eh?

I may be very dense, but if this is some part of a joke,

I'm afraid I don't see the point.

-Oh, steward, you served me tea just now.

-Yes, madam.

Have you seen the lady I was with? The English lady?

But madam was alone.

Pardon, madam, he make mistake.

Well, of course. He must remember the little English lady.

-She ordered the tea and paid for it.

-No, it is you who paid.

BOTH SPEAK ITALIAN

He say to look at the bill.

But she gave you a special packet of tea.

You can't have forgotten that.

The tea was ours, madam. I received no packet.

-But you did. I know what happened.

-Pardon, madam, the bill.

-Er, tea for one.

-But that's not right.

Perhaps madam would care to examine the bills herself?

No, I wouldn't. The whole thing's too absurd.

Please, have you seen a lady pass through...? Oh.

Well, if it isn't old stinker.

If I thought you'd be on this train,

I'd have stayed another week in the hotel. Er, lady, no. Why?

Doesn't matter. You probably wouldn't recognise one anyway.

-Hello? Feeling queer?

-It's that pipe of yours, George.

Why don't you throw your old socks away? Thanks for the help.

Oh, come on, sit down. Take it easy. What's the trouble?

If you must know, something fell on my head.

-When, infancy?

-At the station.

-Bad luck. Can I help?

-Only by going away.

No, no, no. My father always taught me, never desert a lady in trouble.

He even carried that as far as marrying mother.

Did you see a lady last night in the hotel in tweeds?

I saw one lady - she was hardly in tweeds.

Yes, but she was in my compartment, and now I can't find her.

She must be still on the train. We haven't stopped since we started.

Of course she's still on the train, I know that.

All right. Nobody said she isn't.

-That's just what they ARE saying.

-Who?

-The people in the compartment

and the stewards. They insist they never saw her.

-All of them?

-All of them.

-You said you got a knock on the head?

-What do you mean?

-Never mind. Do you talk the lingo?

-No.

They probably thought you were trying to borrow some money.

Come on, let's knock the idea out of their stupid heads.

That's the most unfortunate remark. I beg your pardon.

That's one of them, the little dark man.

I say, excuse me, I think there's been a misunderstanding.

-This young lady seems to have lost her friend.

-Yes, I have heard.

This gentleman has been explaining to me. Most interesting.

I think, under the circumstances, we shall all introduce ourselves.

I am Italian citizen. My wife and child.

How do you do? Bonny little chap. How old is he?

1934. And the lady in the corner is the Baroness Attorna.

Yes. I met her husband. He presented prizes at the folk dance festival.

Minister of Propaganda.

I am Dr Egon Hartz of Prague, you may have heard of me.

-Not the brain specialist?

-Yes, the same.

You flew over to England and operated on a cabinet minister.

-Oh, yes.

-Tell me, did you find anything?

A slight cerebral contusion.

Oh, well, that's better than nothing.

I am picking up a similar case at the next station,

but so much more complicated

I shall operate at the National Hospital tonight.

Among other things, a cranial fracture with compression.

-Do you understand?

-Oh, yes, a wallop on the bean.

-I suppose you haven't seen my friend?

-Unfortunately, no.

I'll just take a word with the baroness.

BOTH SPEAK ITALIAN

-What do they say?

-They both say that they've never seen her.

-But that's not true. She was sitting where you are.

-Can you describe her?

It's difficult. You see, she was sort of middle-aged.

-What was she wearing?

-Tweeds. Oatmeal, flecked with brown,

a three-quarter coat with patch pockets,

a scarf, felt hat, brown shoes,

a tussore shirt, and a small, blue handkerchief in her breast pocket.

-I can't remember any more.

-You couldn't have been paying attention.

-Now listen, you both went along to tea?

-Yes.

-Well, surely you met somebody?

-I suppose we did, but...

Wait, let me think. There was an Englishman who passed the sugar.

Right. Let's go and dig him out.

I come with you. This is most interesting to me.

We don't like people muscling in, but we'll make you a member.

Wait a moment, there WAS somebody else.

As we passed this compartment, Miss Froy stumbled in.

-There was a tall gentleman and a lady.

-Now we are getting somewhere.

If we can find someone who saw her, we will have the place searched.

-Can I be of any assistance?

-That is the gentleman.

Do you remember seeing this young lady pass the compartment

with a little English woman?

-I'm afraid not.

-You must have, she almost fell into your compartment.

Surely you haven't forgotten? It is very important.

Everybody is saying she was not on the train but I know she is.

I'm going to find her even if I have to stop the train to do it.

This is Charters. Can I come in?

You know that girl we saw at the hotel?

She's back there kicking up a devil of a fuss.

Says she's lost her friend.

-She hasn't been in here.

-The point is she threatens to stop the train.

If we miss our connection, we'll never make Manchester in time.

-This is serious.

-Let's hide in here.

Sorry, I haven't the faintest recollection.

You must be making a mistake.

He obviously doesn't remember. Let's look for the other fellow.

-Who were you talking to outside?

-Oh, nobody.

Just some people in the corridor arguing.

-There he is, there's the man.

-I'm sorry. I wonder if I can bother you.

-I wonder if you can help.

-How?

I was having tea about an hour ago with an English lady.

-You saw her, didn't you?

-I don't know.

-I was talking to my friend, wasn't I?

-Indubitably.

-But you were sitting

at the next table, she turned and borrowed the sugar.

-You must remember.

-Yes, I recall passing the sugar.

-Then you saw her?

We were deep in conversation about cricket.

I don't see how a thing like cricket

-can make you forget seeing people.

-Don't you?

If that is your attitude, there is nothing more to be said.

Come, Caldicott. "A thing like cricket"!

Wrong tactics, we should have told him we were looking for

-a lost cricket ball.

-But he spoke to her.

-There must be some explanation.

-There is. Please forgive me.

I'm quite possibly wrong, but I have known cases where a sudden shock

or blow has induced the most vivid impressions.

-I understand. You don't believe me.

-It is not a question of belief.

Even a simple concussion may have curious effects upon

-an imaginative person.

-I can remember every little detail.

Her name, Miss Froy, everything.

So interesting.

If one had time, one could trace the cause of the hallucination.

-Hallucination?

-Precisely. There is no Miss Froy. There never was.

-Merely a vivid subjective image.

-But I met her last night at the hotel.

-You thought you did.

-What about the name?

-Some past association.

An advertisement or a character in a novel, subconsciously remembered.

There is no reason to be frightened, if you are quiet and relax.

Thank you very much.

If you will excuse me, this is where my patient comes aboard. Excuse me.

Most interesting.

Stopping.

-This is the first stop, isn't it?

-Mm-hm.

Then Miss Froy must still be on the train. You look out of this window

and see if she gets off this side. I'll take the other.

Most interesting.

-What was she dressed in? Scotch tweeds, wasn't it?

-Oatmeal tweeds.

I knew it had something to do with porridge.

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

How long does it take to get a divorce? Eric.

I beg your pardon, I wasn't listening.

-I said, how long does it take to get a divorce?

-That depends. Why?

Only wondering whether we could take our honeymoon next spring.

I mean the official one.

The difficulties are considerable.

For one thing, the courts are very crowded just now.

Although I suppose we barristers ought not to complain about that.

As a matter of fact, with the conditions as they are now,

my chances of becoming a judge are very rosy.

That is if nothing untoward occurs.

Such as you being mixed up in a divorce case yourself.

Yes.

In the first careless rapture of yours,

you said you didn't care what happened.

You must think of it from my point of view.

The law, like Caesar's wife, must be above suspicion.

-Even when the law spends six weeks with Caesar's wife?

-Look here.

Now I know why you've been running around like a scared rabbit,

why you lied so deliberately a few minutes ago.

-I lied?

-Yes, to those people in the corridor.

I heard every word you said.

It was merely I didn't wish to be mixed up in any enquiry.

"Enquiry"! Just because a little woman can't be found.

That girl was making a fuss. If the woman had disappeared

and I had admitted seeing her, we might become vital witnesses.

My name might even appear in the papers, coupled with yours.

-A scandal like that might lead anywhere. Anywhere.

-Yes.

I suppose it might.

WHISTLE BLASTS

-Nobody?

-Nobody.

The only thing that came out of my side was two bits of orange peel and

-a paper bag.

-I know there's a Miss Froy. She's as real as you are.

You say that, but there doesn't appear to be anybody else

-who's seen her.

-I saw her, I think.

-You did?

-A little woman in tweeds wearing a three-quarter coat.

-With a scarf?

-That's right.

-I saw her with you when you passed the compartment.

-I knew I was right!

But your husband said he hadn't seen her.

-He didn't notice, but as soon he mentioned I remembered.

-You win.

This calls for action. Are you prepared to make a statement?

-Of course, if it helps.

-Pardon. My patient has arrived.

The most fascinating complication.

We have some news. This lady actually saw Miss Froy.

We'll have the train searched.

You'll have to think of a fresh theory now, Doctor.

It is not necessary - my theory was perfectly good.

The facts were misleading. I hope you find your friend. Excuse me.

-I will be in here if you want me.

-Right you are. Come along.

Eric.

I was only going to mention that I told that girl I'd seen her friend.

What's that? Have you taken leave of your senses?

-On the contrary, I have come to them.

-What do you mean?

If there is a scandal, there would be a divorce.

You could not let me down.

You'd have to do the decent thing as reluctantly as you know.

You forget one very important thing. Your husband would divorce you,

but whatever happens, my wife will never divorce me.

It may seem crazy to you

-but I tell you you're going to search the train.

-Signorina!

Down there, they look for you. Your friend, she come back.

-Come back?

-Si.

-What happened?

-You go see. She tell you. Scusi.

Thanks. Relax. The crisis is over.

Come on, let's join the lady.

-Here we are.

-Miss Froy!

That isn't Miss Froy.

-Isn't it?

-No.

-It is a silly thing to say, but are you Miss Froy?

No, I am Madame Kummer.

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

She says she helped you into the carriage after you got

hit on the head then went to see some friends.

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

The baroness says that as you spoke about an English lady,

-she did not connect her with Madame Kummer.

-She wasn't the lady I saw.

-It was Miss Froy.

-Oatmeal tweeds, blouse, handkerchief.

I know, everything is the same, but it isn't her.

-When did you say you first met Miss Froy?

-Last night at the hotel.

-Was she wearing a costume like that?

-Yes.

Then I must apologise, you did meet her after all.

But not on this train. In your subconscious mind,

you substituted the face of Madame Kummer for Miss Froy.

But I didn't. I couldn't have, I tell you, I talked to her here.

That's very easily settled,

as an English woman on the train who said she saw her.

-If this lady wouldn't mind...

-THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

What a gift for languages the fellow's got.

Would you tell us, is this the woman you saw?

It isn't a bit like her, is it?

Yes, she's the woman.

-But it isn't, I tell you.

-Are you sure?

-Perfectly.

-She isn't, she isn't!

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Come on, then. I'm so sorry to have troubled you.

Well? Aren't you going to say anything?

You might at least gloat, if nothing else.

You only did it to save your own skin.

She was lying. I saw it in her face. They're all lying, but why?

Why don't you sit down? Take it easy.

Do you think I substituted Miss Froy's face for Madame Kummer's?

I think any change would be an improvement.

Miss Froy was on this train,

and nothing will convince me otherwise.

Must you follow me round like a pet dog?

Let's say a watchdog - I've got all the better instincts.

Goodbye.

The doctor was right, I never saw Miss Froy on the train.

It didn't happen, I know now.

I'm glad you're going to take it like that. Forget all about it.

Make your mind a complete blank.

Watch me, you can't go wrong.

What about something to eat?

-Anything.

-That's right. Come along.

-Would you like a little air?

-Thanks.

-Do you think you can eat anything?

-I could try.

That's the spirit. You'll feel a different girl tomorrow.

I hope so. I don't want to meet my fiance a nervous wreck.

Your what?

I'm being married on Thursday.

-Quite sure you're not imagining that?

-Positive.

Oh, I was afraid so. Ah, food.

-I couldn't face it.

-Mind if I talk with my mouth full?

-If you must.

-Now then, would you like to hear about my early life?

-I don't think so.

-Well, since you press me, I'll begin with my father.

It's remarkable how many great men began with their father. Drink?

A cup of tea, please.

My father was a very colourful character,

and he was strongly addicted to...

You'll never guess.

-Harriman's Herbal Tea.

-No! Double Scotch.

-A million Mexicans drink it.

-Maybe they do, but Father didn't.

Miss Froy gave the waiter a packet of it.

-A packet of what?

-Harriman's Herbal Tea.

She said it was the only sort she liked.

We agreed you'd make your mind a complete blank.

-But it's so real, I'm sure it happened.

-Did we or did we not?

We did. Sorry.

Go on telling me about your father.

My father was a very remarkable man.

-Did he play the clarinet?

-Incessantly.

In fact, he never put it down unless it was absolutely necessary.

Naturally, I couldn't help inheriting his love of music.

-Why not?

-It was all he left me.

You know, you're remarkably attractive.

Has anyone ever told you?

We were discussing you.

-Yes, of course. Do you like me?

-Not much.

After I'd paid my father's debts, I started to travel,

until they tried to cash the cheques.

I'm writing a book now. Would you like to buy a copy?

I'd love to. When does it see the light of day?

About four years.

-That's a very long time.

-It's a very long book.

Do you know why you fascinate me? I'll tell you.

You have got two great qualities I admired in Father -

you haven't any manners at all, and you're always seeing things.

-What's the matter?

-Look!

WHISTLE BLASTS

-It's gone!

-What's gone?

Miss Froy's name on the window.

You saw it. You must have seen it! She's on the train!

No, steady, steady.

Excuse me, thank you very much.

We've got to find her. Something's happening to her. Stop the train!

Listen, everybody, there's a woman on this train - Miss Froy.

Some of you must have seen her. They're hiding her somewhere.

I appeal to you, all of you, to stop the train.

Please help me. Make them stop the train.

Why don't you do something before it's too late?

-Please.

-You think I'm crazy, but I'm not.

For heaven's sake, stop this train! Leave me alone!

Leave me alone!

WHISTLE BLASTS

BRAKES SQUEAL

Huh! Ten minutes late, thanks to that fool of a girl.

She gets up to any more tricks, we'll be too late for the match.

-I suppose you couldn't put it to her in some way?

-What?

Well, people just don't vanish, and so forth.

-She has.

-What?

-Vanished.

-Who?

-The old dame.

-Yes.

-Well?

-Well, how could she?

-What?

-Vanish.

-I don't know.

That explains my point. People don't just disappear into thin air.

-It's done in India.

-What?

-The rope trick.

-Oh, that.

It never comes out in a photograph.

Look, in half an hour we'll stop at Morshkan, just before the border.

I will leave there with my patient for the National Hospital.

If you come with me, you can stay overnight in a private ward.

-You need peace and rest.

-Sorry, nothing doing.

Isn't there anything we can do?

Yes. Find Miss Froy.

I tell you, if she does not rest, I will not answer for her.

It will be best if you persuade her. She likes you.

I'm as popular as a dose of strychnine.

If you coat it with sugar, she may swallow it.

Cosmopolitan train, this. People of all nations.

I've just seen at least a million Mexicans in the corridor.

I thought I'd look in to tell you to think over what Dr Hartz said.

If you fell like changing your mind, I'll be hanging around.

-What's all the mystery?

-You're right, Miss Froy is on this train.

I've just seen the packet of tea you were talking about in the rubbish.

-Trifle late, aren't you? She may be dead now.

-Dead or...

For sheer variety, give me an English summer.

I remember once spending a bank holiday at...

We'll search the train. There's something definitely queer in here.

-Looks like a supply service for trunk murderers.

-Don't!

Look at that!

-It's all right, Miss Froy, it's only us.

-Hurry up, quickly!

Perhaps it's Miss Froy bewitched, you never know!

I refuse to be discouraged. Faint heart never found old lady.

-Do you know anything about her?

-No.

Only that she was a governess going back home.

-What is this thing?

-Can't imagine.

There might be something down here.

-What on earth...?

-Our Italian friend!

I've got it! Wait a minute.

There you are, the Great Doppo.

-His visiting card, look.

-What's it say?

The Great Doppo, magician, illusionist, mind-reader...

see his fascinating act, the vanishing...

-..lady.

-The vanishing lady?!

-Perhaps that's the explanation.

-What?

-He's practising on Miss Froy.

-Perhaps it's a publicity stunt.

-No.

What about the Baroness and Madame Kummer?

-What's your theory?

-I don't know. My theory? I'll tell you.

Oh, dear! I can't get...

-Where are you?

-In here, with a strong smell of camphor ball.

-I can't see you.

-I'm about somewhere.

Here I am. Where are you?

I don't know!

This is what comes of not saying abracadabra.

-Ooh! Ooh!

-Are you hurt?

-Come on, out of it.

-Not much.

-Come and sit down.

-What is that?

In magic circles, we call it the disappearing cabinet.

-You get inside, and you vanish.

-So I noticed.

You were about to tell me of your theory.

Oh, my theory. Well...

my theory, my dear Watson, is that we are in very deep waters indeed.

-Ahem.

-Oh! Thank you very much.

Let us marshal our facts over a pipe full of Baker Street shag.

In the first place, a little old lady disappears.

Everyone who saw her insists she was never there, right?

-Right.

-We know that she was, therefore

they did see her, therefore they are deliberately lying.

-Why?

-I don't know. I'm only Watson.

Don't bury yourself in the part. I'll tell you why -

they daren't face an enquiry as Miss Froy's probably still on this train.

-I told you that hours ago.

-Yes, so you did.

-For that, my dear Watson, you shall have a cigar.

-Ooh, thank you.

Only one thing left to do - search the train in disguise.

-As what?

-Well, er...

-Old English gentleman.

-They'd see through you.

Perhaps you're right. Aha!

Will Hay.

Now, boys, boys, which of you has stolen Miss Froy? Own up!

-Give those glasses to me.

-Why?

-They're Miss Froy's!

-Are you sure?

Yes, they're exactly the same. Gold rims... Where did you find them?

-Down here on the floor. The glass is broken.

-Probably in the struggle.

Do you realise that this is our first piece of tangible proof?

That's the lot.

Will you please give me those spectacles?

They belong to me. My spectacles, please.

-Yours? Are you sure?

-HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

Naughty, naughty. That's a large nose for a small pair of spectacles.

That's the game, is it? We'll see about that.

They're Miss Froy's glasses, and you know it.

She's been here, and you know that too!

Don't stand hopping about there like a referee, kick him!

See if he's got a false bottom. Hang on, I'll get him up.

Ow! That doesn't help.

Quick, pull his ears back. Give them a twist.

Now I've got him.

He's got a knife!

Get hold of it before he cuts a slice off me.

I can't reach it.

Argh!

Well done, that's it. That's it.

We know how that thing works. Come out of there.

Is he out? We've got to hide him somewhere.

-What's in here?

-Hurry up, quick, before he comes to.

It's empty. We can lock him in.

Come on.

Oh, no, you don't!

-Oh!

-What's the matter?

Garlic. I'll be all right in a minute.

-Here, let's tie him up.

-Oh, yes.

So we definitely know that Miss Froy was on this train,

and our friend in here had something to do with it.

That ought to keep him quiet until we find her.

Hard work, but worth it. Let's have the evidence.

-Evidence?

-The glasses.

-You've got them.

-No, I haven't got them.

-Oh!

-He's got them!

He isn't there!

Snookered! It's a false bottom.

-The twister! He's a contortionist.

-He's gone.

To find the others. We can't fight the whole train, we need allies.

-But who can we trust?

-That's the snag.

There's that Dr Hartz person.

Yes, you're right. He might help. Let's tell him the symptoms.

All right. Oh, wait a minute.

This is the one.

He's not there.

Listen, I've just had a particularly idiotic idea.

-I quite believe that.

-Supposing that patient is Miss Froy.

It didn't come on the train till after Miss Froy disappeared.

Oh, yes. That's why it's idiotic. Come on, let's find the doctor.

-No, wait a minute.

-What is it?

-Did you notice anything wrong about that nun?

-No.

I don't think she's a nun at all. They don't wear high heels.

Yes, you're right. Did you see Madame Kummer get on the train?

-No.

-Well...

..supposing they decoyed Miss Froy into the luggage van and hid her,

the first stop, a patient comes aboard, head injury, all wrapped up,

the patient is Madame Kummer, she becomes Miss Froy,

Miss Froy becomes that.

Yes, but why go to all this trouble to kidnap a harmless governess?

Maybe it isn't a governess at all. Perhaps it's some political thing.

Let's investigate.

HE SPEAKS FRENCH

HE SPEAKS GERMAN

You'll just have to put up with it in English.

Can we look at your patient, please?

Thank you. Keep an eye on the nun.

-MAN:

-What are you doing here?

Why are you in here?

This is a most serious accident case.

You have no business to be here - neither of you do.

Dr Hartz, we want you to undo those bandages

and to look at your patient's face.

Are you out of your senses? There is no face there.

Nothing but lumps of raw flesh.

He has lost so much blood, only a transfusion can save him.

-Do you want me to murder my patient?

-You're sure this is your patient?

-We believe it's Miss Froy.

-Miss Froy!

You can't be serious! Whatever put such ideas into your heads?

-I understand she's deaf and dumb.

-But she may lip-read.

Oh, well, that's possible.

In that case, perhaps you'll join me in the dining car.

I'll be with you in a moment -

I want to be certain my patient hasn't been disturbed.

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

How do I know how they cottoned on? Somebody must have tipped them off.

You never said the old girl was English.

What difference does that make?

In a few moments, I shall order three drinks in the dining car.

Mine will be chartreuse.

One of the stewards is working for us. Now, listen carefully...

There's that girl again.

Seems to have recovered. Lucky it blew over.

Now, tell me what this is all about.

Have you ever actually seen your patient?

-No.

-I just had a message to operate at Morshkan.

How do you know it's NOT Miss Froy?

We believe there's been a substitution.

You really think that someone else...?

HE HUMS

Oh, er, I want a green chartreuse.

-Won't you join me?

-Thanks. A large brandy.

-And you?

-I don't want anything.

-Come on, it'll do you good.

-No, really, I don't want anything.

You're very tired. It'll pick you up.

All right, then, just a small one.

Two brandies and a chartreuse.

Do you know anything about the nun who's looking after your patient?

Nun! No, only that she's from a convent

close to where the accident occurred.

Don't you think it's peculiar that she's wearing high-heeled shoes?

Oh, is she? That IS rather curious, isn't it?

It's a conspiracy.

All these people on the train say they haven't seen Miss Froy,

but they have. We know that because just now in the luggage van...

She's off again.

Hope she doesn't create another scene.

Put the lid on our getting back in time if she did.

And then this fellow, Doppo, came and grabbed the glasses.

Yeah, we went for him and had a bit of a fight.

-Oh, a fight?

-We knocked him out.

Oh!

He seems to have made a speedy recovery.

Yes. All that's just bluff.

-Here.

-Grazie.

How could he be involved in a conspiracy?

Look at the poor fellow - he's just a harmless traveller.

-He's also a music-hall artist on tour.

-Well?

The baroness's husband is Minister of Propaganda.

One word from her, and his tour would be cancelled.

-Oh, I see.

-And if the stewards don't behave,

they have a cosy brick wall to run up against.

But tell me about the two English travellers, they denied seeing her.

Just British diplomacy - "Never climb a fence if you can sit on it."

An old Foreign Office proverb.

I can't understand why anyone would want to dispose of the old lady.

That's what stumps us, but she was on this train and now she's...

..gone.

Well, if you're right, it means the whole train is against us.

What are we going to do?

Well, in view of what you just told me,

I shall risk examining the patient.

-Come on, then!

-However, one moment.

We mustn't act suspicious. Behave as is if nothing had happened.

Drink. That'll steady your nerves.

To our health.

And may our enemies, if they exist, be unconscious of our purpose.

Let's go. We must hurry now.

Come on, drink up.

Wait in here.

Go on.

-Anything wrong?

-Nothing.

Except they noticed you were wearing high heels.

However, it makes no difference.

We shall reach Morshkan in three minutes.

Quite an eventful journey.

Well?

Yes, the patient is Miss Froy.

She will be taken off the train at Morshkan in about three minutes.

She will be removed to the hospital there, and operated on.

Unfortunately, the operation will not be successful.

Oh, I should perhaps have explained.

The operation will be performed...

..by me.

You see, I am in this conspiracy, as you term it.

You are a very alert young couple, but it's quite useless to think,

as you are undoubtedly doing, of a way out of your dilemma.

The drinks you had, I regret to say, contained a quantity of hydrocin.

For your benefit, hydrocin is a little-known drug which has

the effect, in a small quantity, of paralysing the brain

and rendering the victim unconscious for considerable period.

In a slightly larger quantity, of course, it induces madness.

However, you have my word the dose was a normal one.

In a few moments, you will join your young friend.

Need I say how sorry I am having to take such a -

how shall I say? - melodramatic course.

But your persistent meddling made it necessary.

-Are you all right? You fainted.

-Did I?

Listen! There is a woman next door going to be murdered,

and we've got to get moving before this stuff takes effect.

I read that if you keep on the go, you can stay awake.

Right. Come on, let's get going.

It's locked.

We can't go that way, we'll be spotted.

-You can't do that!

-Don't worry, it's only next door.

You stand on your head, touch your toes, anything,

only, whatever you do, don't fall asleep.

WHISTLE BLASTS

Go on, you needn't be afraid. It is Miss Froy.

It's all right, you haven't been drugged.

He told me to put something in your drink, but I didn't.

Who the devil are you? He said you are deaf and dumb.

Never mind about that. If you want to save her, you've got to hurry.

Hartz will be back in a minute. What will happen then?

If we can hold him off till we get past Morshkan,

the frontier's a few miles beyond the station.

SHE CHOKES, GASPS

Come on, there's still time.

THEY SPEAK ITALIAN

That's Morshkan. Have you finished?

Come on, Miss Froy.

Cut it out, you're not drugged. I'll explain later. Abracadabra.

Miss Froy! Oh, I can't believe it!

-Thank you, my dear. Thank you very much.

-Careful!

-Ready?

-Yes.

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

Are you all right, Miss Froy?

Yes, thank you. It's rather like the rush hour on the underground.

Careful, it's slowing down.

Drat!

I'm sorry you've had such an uncomfortable journey, Miss Froy.

Get back on the train.

I hope nothing goes wrong.

Aren't we stopping rather a long time?

The ambulance is going. We'll be off in a jiffy.

WHISTLE BLASTS

In a few minutes, we'll be over the border.

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

I know I've been well paid, and I've done plenty of dirty work for it,

but this was murder, and she was an English woman.

-You are Bandrikan?

-My husband was, but I'm English.

You were going to butcher her in cold blood.

Your little diversion made it necessary not only to remove

the lady in question, but two others as well.

-You can't do that.

-Also, it would be unwise of us

to permit the existence of anyone who cannot be trusted.

-You wouldn't dare. I know too much.

-Precisely.

I think we're over the border now.

-You can come out, Miss Froy.

-Oh, bless me.

What an unpleasant journey.

Never mind. You shall have a corner seat for the rest of the way.

There you are. Now it's over,

I think you should tell us what it's all about.

WOMAN SCREAMS

What was that scream?

-Surely it was only the train.

-It wasn't. It was a woman.

Be careful!

They've rumbled. We're on a branch line.

-They've slipped the rear part of the train.

-Oh, dear, dear.

Who are you, and why do they want to get hold of you?

I haven't the faintest idea. I'm a children's governess.

I can only think that they've made a terrible mistake.

Why are you holding out on us? Tell us the truth.

You've got us involved in this fantastic plot,

-you might at least trust us.

-I really don't kn... I...

-I wonder if there's anyone else left on the train.

-There's only the

dining car in front, but there won't be anybody there now.

What do you make it? Tea-time. Well, all the English will be there.

Come on, we'd better stick together.

There's the old girl turned up.

Told you it was a lot of fuss about nothing.

Bolt must have jammed.

I've got something to say. Will you all please listen?

An attempt was made to abduct this lady by force,

and I believe the people who did it will try again.

What's he drivelling about?

Look out the window. This train's been diverted on to a branch line.

What are you talking about? Abductions, diverted trains.

We're telling you the truth!

I'm not interested. You've annoyed us enough with your story.

You must have got the wrong end of the stick.

-Things like that just don't happen.

-We're not in England now.

I don't see what difference that makes.

We're stopping.

See those cars? They're here to take Miss Froy away.

Nonsense.

Look, there go a couple of people.

The car's come to pick them up.

Then why the trouble of uncoupling the train and diverting it?

-Uncoupling?

-There's nothing left of the train beyond the sleeping car.

There must be. Our bags are in the first-class carriage.

Not any longer. Would you like to come and look?

If this is a practical joke, I shan't think it very funny.

Good Lord!

Get some brandy.

You don't suppose there's something in his story, do you?

-Seems a bit queer.

-After all, people don't tie up nuns.

Thank you.

Someone's coming!

They can't do anything to us. We're British subjects.

I have come to offer the most sincere apologies.

An extremely serious incident has occurred -

an attempt was made to interfere with passengers on this train.

The authorities were notified, so if you'll accompany me to Morshkan,

I will inform the British Embassy. The cars are at your disposal.

We're grateful. Lucky some of you fellows understand English.

-Well, I was at Oxford.

-So was I. What year?

This woman's trying to say something.

I don't understand the language. Would you...?

That's fixed him.

-What the blazes did you do that for?

-I was at Cambridge.

What's that got to do with it? You heard what he said, didn't you?

I heard what SHE said. It's a trick to get us off the train.

I don't believe it. The man's explanation was quite satisfactory.

A thing like this might cause a war.

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

I'm going outside. Tell him what's occurred.

It's up to us to apologise and put the matter right.

-You were right. Do you mind, old man?

-Certainly.

-Look as if they mean business.

-I'm afraid so.

They can't do anything, it'd mean an international situation.

It's happened before.

They're coming.

Don't let them in! They'll murder us.

They dare not let us go now.

I order you to surrender at once.

Nothing doing. Come any nearer, I'll fire.

I've warned you.

Better take cover. It'll start any minute now.

Nasty jam, this. Don't like the look of it.

-Got plenty of ammunition?

-A whole pouch.

-Good.

-Duck down.

-I'm not going to fight. It's madness.

It'll be safer to protest down here.

Hello, they're trying to work round to the other side.

You're behaving like a pack of fools.

What chance have we got against a lot of armed men?

You heard what the mother superior said -

if we surrender now, we're in for it.

Never get to the match now.

-Give it to me. Give it to me!

-No!

-What's going on?

-He's got a gun and he won't use it.

-What's the idea?

-I won't be a party to this.

I don't believe in fighting.

Pacifist, eh? Won't work, old boy. Early Christians tried it

and got thrown to the lions. Hand it over.

I'm not afraid to use it.

I'm probably more used to it.

I once won a box of cigars.

He's talking rot, he's a damn good shot.

You know, I'm half-inclined to believe...

..that there's some rational explanation to all this.

Rotten! Only knocked his hat off.

Would you mind if I talked to you for a minute?

-What, now?

-Yes, please forgive me, but it's very important.

-Hang on to this, will you?

-All right.

I think it's safer along here. You come, too.

GUNFIRE CONTINUES

I just wanted to tell you that I must be getting along now.

-You can't! You'll be shot down.

-I must take that risk.

Listen carefully - in case I'm unlucky and you get through,

I want you to take back a message to Mr Callender at the Foreign Office.

-You ARE a spy.

-That's such a grim word.

-What is the message?

-It's a tune.

-A tune?

-It contains, in code,

the vital clause of a secret pact between two European countries.

-I want you to memorise it.

-Go ahead.

-The first part goes like this.

# Da-da-da da, da-da de. #

GUNSHOT

Oh! Perhaps I'd better write it down. Got any paper?

Don't bother, I was brought up on music. I can memorise anything.

Very well. # Da-da-da da, da-da de... #

-The old girl's off her rocker.

-I don't wonder.

Why don't you face it? They'll kill the lot of us.

For goodness' sake, shut up.

-# Da-da dum-dum-de. #

-That's right.

Now we have two chances instead of one. You sure you'll remember it?

Don't worry, I won't stop whistling it.

-This is my best way out.

-Yes, just about.

Even if you do get away, they'll stop you at the frontier.

-We can't let her go like this.

-It's a hell of a risk you are taking...

In this job, one must take risks.

I'm very grateful to you both for all you've done.