The Haunted Mansion

HINGES CREAK

CLOCK CHIMES

CHIMING STOPS

THUNDER CRASHES

WOMAN SCREAMS

FROGS CROAK

CREAKING IN DISTANCE

AH! AHH! UH!

It's love, isn't it?

Sometimes you walk into a house and you take one look around,

And you know. And you say, "This is for me."

Oh. I think it's perfect. It's just what we've been looking for.

There aren't enough plugs.

Hey, wait, Mr Coleman, now.

That place on Sycamore Street -

that place was absolutely, positively loaded with plugs.

That's right. There were plenty.

Yeah, but the steps were too high.

When we get older, we could trip.

Every house we look at you find something to pick at.

I just know what I like.

Mmm. Would you like a divorce?

Hey, hey, hey! No need for that.

Let me explain something to you. I'm gonna find this house for you.

I am totally committed to finding the perfect house for you.

And I don't care how long it takes because at Evers & Evers,

we want you to be happy forevers and evers!

PHONE RINGS Oh, excuse me. Let me take this call.

Sorry. I'm so sorry. ..Hello, Evers & Evers Real Estate. Jim Evers.

Hey, honey. How's it going? Do they like the house?

Uh, yes, this house is still available.

Oh, I knew it. I told you they were lookie-lou's.

It's another interested party. Excuse me.

Listen, I'm on my way home.

What?

I'm really looking forward to tonight.

Well, are you pre-approved?

Yeah, the reservation's at seven, so don't be late.

OK, well, seven's perfect.

Let's get together at seven and we'll go over your offer.

'OK, honey. I'll see you later.'

See what you did? We love the house.

We do. We love it. Well, then, Mrs Coleman. >

Taking that into consideration, there's only one thing left to do.

Let's sign some papers.

UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS

Hey. Hey.

Lorraine and Gary, just like I promised,

here's the offer - signed, sealed, and delivered.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

We are so grateful.

This is a cause for celebration. Let us buy you a drink.

Oh, no, really, I can't. My wife's waiting for me.

Oh, no, but this is such a big deal for us.

Oh, I really can't. I'm late. We insist. Please.

OK, one quick drink. OK, one quick one.

Uh, sir, uh, can I have a ginger ale over here, please?

Oh, no. That's not a drink. Sammy, three volcanoes.

Oh, no, no, no, no volcanoes.

They're incredibly smooth.

Oh, we love it here. We've been coming here for years.

It's like Hawaii. Yes.

We spent our honeymoon there.

It was fantastic. Have you been?

No, never been there.

Promise me you'll go. You promise.

I'll go if you sign. I will go to Hawaii if you sign,

but I gotta get going because it's my anniversary tonight.

Your anniversary?! Happy anniversary!

Thank you. Sign that thing here.

# Happy anniversary Happy anniversary

# Happy anniversary

# Happy anniversary

# Happy, happy, happy, happy... # Hey, sign this!

OK, Jim.

Sorry about that. No.

It's been a pleasure doing business with you.

Aloha. OK. Bye-bye.

Oh, excuse me, did I hear you correctly?

Did you just sell their house? I sure did.

We're looking to buy.

Honey, forgive me.

Well, I'm Jim Evers of Evers & Evers Real Estate.

Tell me about your dream house.

DOORBELL RINGS

Hi, Sara. My name's Teddy. Your husband told me to tell you that he loves you very much

but sometimes he loses track of the time. I'm sorry I'm late.

Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

Yes. Oh!

Look at what he brought you!

Look at that. Isn't that pretty?

Oh, you know, you have a wonderful husband

that thinks about you on your anniversaries. You're so fortunate!

It's beautiful.

You know, it's Teddy's fault that I'm late.

He had a little accident in the backseat,

cotton all over the place, but I cleaned it up.

It's OK. I forgive Teddy.

Hey, come on, Sara, don't be like that.

I'm on a roll here. Hey, we sold seven houses this month.

Yeah, well, what about the three soccer games,

two birthday parties, and barbecue you missed?

Did I miss that much stuff this month?

OK, well, tell you what we'll do. We'll take off this weekend.

What?! We'll take off for the weekend.

We'll go down to the lake, like we did last year with the kids.

Us and the kids the whole weekend.

How's that sound? Can we close on this?

Yes, how about this? We can close on this. How about this?

Close on that. I'm gonna go tell the kids.

All right? OK. All right.

Megan and Michael, big family adventure!

Hey! Michael Jordan Evers!

Ahh! Ahhh!

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Dad! There's a...there's a... What is it?

There's a spider in my room! There's a what?

There's a spider in my room. He's on the window.

Why don't you kill it, man?

That's a big spider!

Come on, now. It's just a spider, Michael.

How big could it be? Come on, what is this?

Where's the spider at?

What? Man, you're acting like it's Mothra. It's just a spider.

You're making a big deal out of nothing, Michael.

Come on, look. Come here. You're ten years old.

And it's time I teach you how to kill a spider.

The most efficient way to crush a spider.

All right. You got to get a good magazine.

Some people like to use "Life" or "Time" or "News".

This is my "Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition." What are you doing with it?

I don't know.

No, ah, yah, yeah, right,

Well, if you can look at this, you should have enough courage to kill a spider the right way.

So I'll roll this up good and tight, so you get a good grip on it. You get a side swing.

That's where you can really get good action going.

You want to come across like that, so you really crush it.

You know, you come across this way,

so you get his whole escape route, in case he try to go...

You take it, and you whack it. Go on. Whack the spider.

I don't want to whack it.

Come on, you gotta whack the spider, Mike. Whack it.

Dad, I'm afraid of spiders. I can't whack it.

Let me explain something to you.

All your life you're gonna be facing spiders, OK?

I am?

What I'm trying to say is you should never be afraid.

Don't be afraid of anything.

People know you're scared, they use that against you.

I'm not scared of anything. I'm your dad, right?

You're my son. You whack that spider.

- Come on. Whack it. - I can't whack the spider, dad.

Yes, you can. Come on, whack it. You can do it.

Whack the spider, son. I don't want to whack it.

Yes, you can. Come on. I don't want to whack it.

Well, kill the spider. Kill the spider.

Dad, I can't crush it. I can't whack it!

Hey.

There. Happy?

No, I'm not happy, Megan.

I was trying to make a point about how you gotta whack your own spiders!

Whatever.

- Mm-hmm. - 'Past Old Miller road.'

OK, great.

'It is an old home, Ms Evers,

'and my employer is anxious to move on.

'Would it be possible for you to come alone to discuss the situation?'

But my husband and I work as a team.

'The master usually does not take visitors.

'However, from your photograph,

'he thought you to have a trustworthy face.

'About your husband, he felt differently.'

Oh. You got our flyer.

'The master had wished to meet you tomorrow evening.'

Oh, I'm so sorry, but tomorrow I've got plans that can't be broken.

(Who is that?)

- Excuse me a second. - (Who is that?)

Just someone calling about repping a house.

What's the address? Where is it?

Sara, do you know where this place is?!

All the places up here are, like, big multi-million-dollar mansions.

This could be big!

And what about our big family adventure?

It's just a little detour.

MEGAN: How long is it gonna take?

No more than 20 minutes. 20 minutes tops.

You kids should be excited.

You're gonna finally get to see us in real-estate action.

CELLPHONE RINGS

Somebody's calling me. Who's calling me?

Hello, Jim Evers, Evers & Evers Real Estate.

Stan, how you doing?

What's the latest?

MAN TALKS INDISTINCTLY

Really? The Selmer property?

Tomorrow?

Wow, I'm kinda out of town right now.

Hey, but, hey, listen, maybe I could come back early.

Oh, no, I can't come back early.

No, I can't come back early.

Um, maybe we should just take care of this on Monday.

All right?

Monday?

Monday sounds fantastic.

I'll talk to you on Monday.

We're gonna talk on Monday.

Michael: Are we still in America?

Here it is, right here. OK?

All right?

Yeah, that's a whole lot of gate.

They must have a big possum problem down here.

That's some big possum.

HORN HONKS

HORN HONKS

- Didn't they know we were coming? - Of course they knew.

Maybe there's a call box or something.

Hello?!

HORN HONKS

Hello?! The Evers are here!

HORN HONKS

Yes, we're here now!

Nobody's answering.

Now I gotta get out in the dirt with my brand-new shoes on.

Wow.

How are we gonna get in?

Why don't you give me a boost,

And I'll climb over and go around the back?

They're probably old. We'll surprise them.

You'll probably kill them.

Let's just go. It's getting late.

You know, Sara, you give up too easy.

You gotta be more patient.

The Evers' way is to be patient -

HINGES CREAKING

All right, we're in business.

Let's go, let's go. >

Let's do this.

ENGINE STARTS

THUNDER RUMBLES

CAWING

Wow.

Bob Vila would have a field day with this place.

DOOR SLAMS Hey, Megan, don't slam the door like that.

It's very sensitive.

It's a car, dad.

Ahh! It's not just a car.

It's a very delicate piece of machinery.

Shh! She didn't mean what she just said.

Come on, let's see what's around back.

I'm getting hungry.

Me too!

Don't worry. We'll be 20 minutes tops.

Michael: Hey, Dad, when we get to the lake,

Can I go to that pizza shop where I ate that whole pizza pie,

And then when we got to the cabin, I threw up, and you still saw the pepperoni chunks in it?

- Can we go there? - Yeah, we can go there if we can avoid a repeat performance.

BIRDS CRYING

Wow. Now, that's something you don't see every day.

Oh, my God.

Dead people?

Hey, hey, honey,

You know they have, uh... dead people in the backyard?

Well, some people have pools.

Some people have private cemeteries. It happens.

You're gonna sell a house with this?

This historical sprawling manor with spacious grounds? Yes.

Hey, that's good. We'll put that on the listing.

And leave out all the dead people?!

Well, we'll just stick to the bright side.

THUNDER CRASHES

Oh, no, I got my good suit on.

Oh.

You think it's gonna stop?

Oh, I hope it's not raining at the lake.

All right, you kids know when you're at work with mommy and daddy,

you're always on your best behaviour, right?

OK. Whoo!

Look at the size of these knockers.

Ever see anything like that before?

Hello?! Evers Real Estate!

E-evers Real Estate!

HINGES CREAKING

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Hello?!

We're the Evers from Evers & Evers Real Estate.

Hi!

HINGES CREAKING

Have you ever seen anything like this?

Never.

Sara, this puts us in a whole new league.

Smells like grandma's house.

Worse - smells like grandma.

This place is just a little dusty.

We'll get a cleaning crew to come out here and shine it up -

this place would be sparkling from top to bottom.

Mom...

This place has spiders.

DOOR HINGES CREAKING

THUNDER CRASHES

Sara Evers?

Yes, I'm Sara.

My name is Ramsley.

Hello, Ramsley. I'm Jim Evers of Evers & Evers Real Estate

at your service.

We were not expecting...

others.

Yes, we were on our way out of town.

Yeah, then when we realized the enormity

and complexity of your unique estate,

we wanted to commit the full resources of Evers & Evers Real Estate,

because at Evers & Evers, we want you to be happy forevers and evers.

And please accept this waterproof calendar

as a token of our appreciation.

Very well.

We shall have to place other settings.

Who do you have the settings for?

Master Gracey wishes to discuss his affairs over dinner.

Oh, I'm afraid we have plans.

Honey, we can't stay for dinner.

Oh, yes, but we mustn't be rude, darling.

- What about our family adventure? - Yeah, dad.

We'll just have some soup, and then we'll get going, OK?

All right?

Wow.

HINGES CREAKING

Wow.

Nice. Very nice.

Good job. Good job.

Hey, Megan, how'd you like to eat like this every day at home, huh?

The master will be with you shortly.

Carry on.

I said, "carry on."

He walks off!

Have you ever seen a fireplace this amazing?

Incredible.

Ah, we could have one heck of a wienie roast in that thing, huh?

Seriously. Look at this detail.

I've never seen anything like this.

THUNDER CRASHES Haven't you?

My grandfather spared no expense when he built this mansion.

Well - well, your grandfather

Had really good taste in tchotchkes.

I'm Jim Evers of Evers & Evers Real Estate.

Charmed to make your acquaintance, sir.

Edward. Edward Gracey.

Uh... this is my wife, Sara.

Come meet Mr Gracey?

Very nice to meet you, Mr Gracey.

And, uh, this is our daughter, Megan, and our son, Michael.

You have very beautiful children, Ms Evers.

I kicked in some chromosomes, too.

HE LAUGHS

Children...

Madame...

Oh! Nice. Boy. OK.

Thank you.

The master was very pleased

when he heard you could come on such short notice.

Normally, we would not have called you here so abruptly,

but we had no other choice.

Well, what do you got - termites or something?

- Big house like this must have a lot of termites. - No.

But lately there have been more... disturbances.

What do you think of the house, Ms Evers?

Oh.

I think it's absolutely incredible.

The Italian influence,

the renaissance style of the moulding -

the attention to detail is stunning.

You never see houses like this, or at least, I don't.

Great care and love went into the building of this mansion.

THUNDER CRASHES

This house is my inheritance...

My birthright.

But lately it's become too much to bear.

Tell me, Mr Evers...

Do you believe in ghosts?

Ghosts?

Yeah, sure, I believe in ghosts.

Yeah. I don't think it's a good idea to put that information on the listing, though.

You should talk about how many bathrooms are in the house.

People love bathrooms.

We should play up the whole toilet angle

And leave out ghosts for now.

I think that'd be best.

The storm has swollen the river.

How's that?

The storm has flooded the road.

I'm afraid there will be no leaving the mansion tonight.

What?!

Of course you are all more than welcome to spend the night here.

Oh, no, I really don't think we should.

We've got plans.

I'm afraid there's no other way.

Ramsley will show you to your rooms.

HINGES CREAKING

I believe the children will be comfortable in this room.

Yeah. Real homey.

You'll be fine.

Wow. Hey, listen - when you flush the toilet,

check and see how quickly it refills.

Good night, dad.

Good night.

I hope you and the madam will find this room to your liking.

Yeah, it's great.

It'll be like spending the night in a fine hotel.

Will there be anything else that you require, sir?

- What, are you gonna get us some chocolates? - Pardon?

You know, the little chocolates they put on the hotel pillows.

Sometimes they have chocolates on the pillow.

They have little chocolates on the pillows...

They have...

What's the problem?

SARA: In the first place,

we weren't even supposed to be here.

We were supposed to be at the lake.

Hey, what am I supposed to do - control the weather now, Sara?

That's not the point.

You couldn't resist. You just had to come.

Excuse me, this is a big opportunity for all of us.

Not for us, for you.

The only thing you seem to care about any more is work.

Oh, but when I'm working hard like this, it doesn't matter

As long as I'm bringing you home expensive gifts, right?

SCOFFS

CLINKING

Hey, what are you... Hey, Sara.

Hey, Sara, I didn't mean to say that, OK?

Sara.

Come on, stop it.

Sara! Sara.

I'm sorry about that, honey. Can you open up, please?

Uh! Ooh.

You scared me.

- Pardon the intrusion, sir. - Yes.

The master was wondering

if he might have a word with you in the library.

A word? OK, yeah, I'd love to have a word with him.

Sure. Let's go talk some turkey.

Yes. Turkey.

- Very good, sir. - Yeah.

If you will kindly follow me...

Of course, of course.

Hey, hey, Sara! I'm gonna have a word with Mr Gracey!

I'll be back in a minute.

You know, Ramsley, I was just wondering.

Have you ever been to a tanning salon?

I've got a friend in the city who's got a really great place.

You can get a really smooth tan, you know?

Do something about that ashy white look.

Get a little bronze thing happening.

I'm sure the ladies would love it.

Yes. Sounds wonderful.

Would you care for a drink, sir, while you're waiting?

Yeah. Don't mind if I do. Thank you, Ramsley.

Oh, wow! Now, that's class.

That's what I need to do over at my place -

get a big picture of myself to put on the living room wall.

Adds a touch of elegance to the room.

Yes, sir. Very elegant.

Thank you. Thank you so much, Ramsley.

Mmm.

So, Ramsley, how long you been a butler?

A long time.

What are the most important qualifications

in case I might be doing some interviewing?

Attending to every detail,

understanding priorities,

and above all, knowing one's place.

And what does your boss like to do? What's he into?

You know, what floats his boat?

The master likes a great many things -

art, literature, beauty.

And all that stuff about, uh, ghosts -

what, did he get, like, a bad clam in his jambalaya one night?

You don't believe in ghosts, sir?

Absolutely not. Let me tell you something, Ramsley.

The way I see it, you only go around the track once,

so you do it full-out all the way around.

Mr Evers, may I confide in you?

Please do.

The master is not well.

He must leave this house, Mr Evers.

He must move on.

It is of the gravest importance, I assure you,

or I fear the very worst.

MEGAN: I can't believe this.

Still no reception.

We had to take that little detour.

"20 minutes tops." Yeah, right.

Do you think it's gonna stop raining soon?

How should I know? I'm not the weatherman.

Hmm.

Stogies.

Not bad.

Not at all. Hold onto that.

Hmm.

Hmm. Wonderful.

Must be nice. Must be really nice.

I tell ya.

Ah.

Hmm.

ENGLISH ACCENT: Hello there, good man.

Uh, Ramsley, fix the gentleman a drink.

Nigel, I just recently returned from the continent

where I found the most interesting book.

Yes, it was called "raising the dead."

NORMAL VOICE: Oh, cripes!

Ohh. I hope that doesn't stain.

Oh.

Wow.

Interesting.

Wow.

Wow. I wonder where this leads to.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, open this back up!

Hey, open up!

Ramsley!

POUNDING Ramsley!

Push back the head!

Hey, would somebody push the head back?

MUSIC PLAYS

Megan!

What do you think it is?

It's a ghost ball.

I think it wants us to follow it.

I think you're crazy.

It does. It wants us to follow it.

Hey, Megan, wait up!

Where's that scary albino when you need him?

Oh, hello.

Have you seen my husband?

Excuse me.

Wait!

Wait!

Oh, Ramsley, it's you.

May I help you?

Yes. I was just looking for my husband.

Ah, indeed.

I left him in the library...

Right through there.

Honey, it's late. Let's not fight any more.

Come to bed?

Oh! I'm... sorry.

I thought you were my husband.

Can I help you with that?

Ramsley hates it when I leave things lying about.

Yes, he seems a bit proper.

He strikes most people that way.

Once you get to know him, you'll find that's not the case.

But he's really...

He's...he's really very sweet.

Thank you.

H-he's been like a father to me.

Mr Gracey...

May I ask you something?

Yes, of course. Anything.

This house - it's been in your family for generations.

It's your home. Why do you want to sell it?

These walls are filled with so many memories -

some of them... painful.

I-I think for you to understand, I really must show you.

It's all right.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Although it might be a bit worn and faded

from its original grandeur,

this house was once filled with so many things,

so much life -

with grand parties, dancing, laughter,

and, above all, hope.

Being a Gracey meant that you were denied nothing.

The world was yours.

What happened here, Mr Gracey?

She did.

Who?

Elizabeth.

Hers is the story that haunts these walls.

CLANGING AND SQUEAKING

Come on.

Megan, wait.

You don't know the last time that thing's been inspected.

Would you just relax? Where's your sense of adventure?

CLANGING AND SQUEAKING

This is against all my better judgment.

HINGES SQUEAKING

THUNDER CRASHING

Hi!

Is anyone home?

CREAKING

Those must be termites.

Big-ass termites, that's all.

CLEARS THROAT

TELEPHONE RINGS

RINGING CONTINUES

Hello?

SQUAWKING Oh!

HE LAUGHS

Aah!

Aaah!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Megan!

Mom.

What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be up here!

This is unspeakable! Unspeakable! You have to leave!

Who is that?

That's none of your business, that's who.

Now, come on, get out of here. It's way past your bedtime.

Her name was Elizabeth.

Are you kids hungry? Does anybody want a cookie?

Cookies?!

Don't offer them cookies! They're trespassers!

Trespassers don't get cookies!

This is none of their concern.

It is their concern! They're involved!

CREAK

Hide! Hide!

The children are not in their room.

Have you seen them?

Children? What children?

What children?

Her children.

The children she wasn't supposed to bring,

along with that brainless husband of hers.

Thank you.

If I had to listen to another word

from that insufferable fool,

I think I would have burst.

Of course, sir. What a fool!

Did I not tell her to come alone?

Is it really too much to ask for a little cooperation?

A little order?

Of course not, sir.

If you find the children, bring them to me.

Certainly, sir.

The final arrangements have been made.

Nothing further will interfere with the master's plan.

THUNDER CRASHES

WOMAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY

Thank God I heard your voice.

Hey, listen, I need some help getting - I lost my way.

I don't know how to get out of here.

I'm sorry if I sound a little frazzled,

But I just had myself a little freak show back there.

WOMAN: ...it's time to respond.

I was supposed to meet with Mr Gracey,

but I got stuck in the wall.

Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween,

awaken the spirits with your tambourine.

OK, I hear you, but I don't see you. Where are you?

I am Madame Leota, seer of all,

voice to the spirits.

Whom do you seek?

Hey! Hey!

- Hey, what are you doing?! Let me out of here. - Silence!

Whom do you seek?

I am seeking a way out of here!

Then you must look within.

I don't want to look within. I want to look without. Are you deaf?

There is great evil in this house -

a devil's curse.

it seeks to destroy you.

Why would something seek to destroy me?

Look, I'm just here to sell the house, OK?

Dark spirits from the grave, come forth.

Lift us from the black,

And show us - show us the way back.

Dark spirits? Hey, no dark spirits.

Don't you make no dark spirits come out!

Lift us - lift us up to the light.

And lead us through this stormy night.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey!

Hey, hey, I'd really like to stay on the ground.

I'd rather stay on the ground. Can I stay on the ground, please?

Evil and darkness have called in this night.

But now to survive, you must gain new sight.

I must first gain new underwear.

Only the light will lead the way.

Follow it and find your way home.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Go, Mr Evers. Your family is at stake.

Your very life is at stake. Break the curse.

There is no escape for you unless you lift this spell.

Go. Save yourself. Save your family.

Release her. Release us all!

I'm getting so queasy. I'm getting very queasy.

LAUGHTER

Ohhhh!

Aah!

Aah!

Aaaah!

Aaaah!

INSTRUMENTS PLAYING

Oh...

Aah! Aah!

Aaaah!

Ohh!

CRASH

TAMBOURINE RATTLING

Dad!

Hey! Michael and Megan, you OK?

We're fine, thanks. All right.

Get your things. Let's get out of here. Let's go.

But, Dad, we have a problem.

What, because of the rain? We're just gonna get a little wet.

Let's just find your mom, and let's get out of here. Let's go!

I'm afraid that's not possible. She can't leave.

And why not? Because she can't!

If I could tell you, I would. But I can't, so I won't, OK?

Hey, how'd you...

Hey, hey, look.

Daddy's having more hallucinations. Let's go.

They're ghosts, Dad. They're not ghosts.

We're just having hallucinations from that dinner that we ate.

It was that chicken. It didn't taste right.

Hey! Oh!

- It's not the chicken! - All right, it's not the chicken.

But we're still getting out of here.

But, Dad, we have to help them.

You can't help the dead, honey. They're beyond help.

That's the nature of being dead.

The man's talking sense.

Everyone should just keep their noses in their own business.

But, dad, we have to help them break the curse.

Why is everybody talking about a curse?

Hey, wait a minute - have you been talking

to that crazy green gypsy in the giant paperweight?

Gypsy? He found the gypsy! We've got to go back to see her.

Hey, ho, ho! No back! I'm not going back.

- But, Dad! - Hey, they had me floating all around the room.

- Dad! - Hey, I was strapped to a chair floating around the room

with a marching band chasing me.

I'm not going back anywhere! Forget it, Casper!

But mom's in trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Gracey: She died here in this house.

She was so very young,

So very beautiful.

She was in love with the heir to this mansion.

Your grandfather.

And he loved her more than life itself.

But they were from different worlds

and couldn't be together.

THUNDER CRASHES

How did she die, Mr Gracey?

She took her own life.

Poison.

But after that, his life became unbearable.

And so, without hope, without love,

without Elizabeth, he hung himself.

His soul wanders these halls

waiting for her to return.

If you listen carefully...

You can still hear the beating of his broken heart.

HEART BEATS

All right, wait a minute. Hold it a second.

Now, you're telling me this guy is dead

and the only reason we were brought here

is cos he wants to try to get jiggy with my wife?

Pretty much. Are you upset?

The guy is dead, and he's trying to get with my wife!

And the house isn't really for sale!

Yes, I'm upset!

Oh, Madame Leota, is it her?

Is she truly our dear, departed Elizabeth come back to us?

'It is true. She walks these halls.'

You see? I told you it is her!

'But do not be deceived.

'All things are not as they appear.

'For the curse to be lifted, the truth must be known.

'And for the truth to be known,

'you must find the key.'

Hey, what are you talking about, ball lady? What key?

'Enter the tomb under the great dead oak

'and travel down deep under the ground,

'and there you will find the key that must be found.

'Find the black crypt that bears no name,

'or soon your fate will be the same.'

You're telling me all I have to do is find this key,

then I'm gonna walk out of here with my wife and kids like nothing ever happened?

'The key is the answer to all.'

Oh, great. I'm in. Let's get this key.

There's only one problem.

How do we get out of here?

Yeah, how do we get out of here?

Well, there's always, uh...

My way.

WHINNYING

JIM: Hey!

I thought you said you could drive this thing!

Don't you worry. I know exactly what I'm doing.

Aaah! Aaah!

You better just keep your eyes on the road!

Move over! What are you doing?

If you keep driving, you'll kill us all!

Well - well, that's where you're wrong,

because some of us are already dead!

Ha ha ha!

NEIGHING

Dad, look.

Ready? Fire!

GUNSHOTS

INDISTINCT CHATTER

LAUGHTER

Ohh!

Dad?

Yes, son?

I see dead people.

DOG WHINING, LAUGHTER

HORSE WHINNIES

Excuse me.

Why are all these ghosts still hanging around here?

When they died, they couldn't find the light.

And now - now they're trapped.

Doomed to wander the earth for all eternity.

Nice. Nice job.

Whoa!

HORSE WHINNIES

OK.

Hey!

Hey, what are you doing here?

Can they see us?

No. Of course not.

Yes, I can see. I'm looking at you right now in your stupid hat.

Don't listen to him. He's lying.

Whatever. Come on, kids, let's go. Come on.

I could swear he was looking right at me.

He's psychic.

GRACEY: This was to have been her wedding dress.

Oh, it's lovely.

It would have been lovelier still if she'd ever had a chance to wear it.

Now it serves only as a dark reminder

of what could have been.

To love someone so much and then lose them so suddenly -

I can't imagine how awful that must be.

If you truly love someone, they never leave you.

They remain in your heart forever.

MEGAN: 'Isn't that romantic?'

He was willing to throw everything away for love.

Well, now he's broke, dead, and cursed. Nice move.

SQUISHING Oh, crap! These are my new shoes.

Hey, kids, watch your step.

SQUISHING Oh, crap!

Hey, Michael, don't say "crap".

All right, where is this place? OK, where are we?

I think the gypsy lady said something

about making a left at an oak.

OK, well, uh, glad she was so specific.

ANIMAL SCREECHES

INDISTINCT SINGING

What is that? Do you hear that?

BOTH: Yeah.

# ...and harmonize

# When we ghosts come out to socialize

# Doom, doom, doom, doom

# When the cryptos creak and the tombstones quake

# Spooks come out for a swinging wake... #

Guys. Excuse me. Sorry to bother you.

Uh, but, uh, uh, we were wondering

if you happen to know where the mausoleum was.

# Down by the

# Old mill stream

# Old mill stream

# Where I first met you... #

No, no. I think they - they said it was an old oak.

That's what they said. It's by the, um -

# By the light

# By the light, by the light

# Of the silvery moon

# Of the silvery moon... #

Yeah, look, you sound really good.

Your harmony's tight, but we're trying to find my wife.

I gotta help my wife. She'll be -

# Comin' 'round the mountain when she comes

# She'll be comin' 'round the mountain... #

Aah! Listen, listen, guys. I'm trying to find a key.

I'm trying to find a key -

# Where's the key? Where's the key?

# Where's the beautiful key?

# Find the key, find the key

# Oh, how happy you'll be... #

The key that I'm trying to find

is - is in the mausoleum.

The key is in the mausoleum.

# You left your ke-e-e-y

# In a mausoleum

# Down in Dixie... #

Dad, there it is!

# Dad, there it is... # Thanks.

# Dad, there it is... # Thanks for nothing.

THUNDER RUMBLES

OK. We made it.

All right, kids, stay close.

BIRD SQUAWKS

Hey!

Look.

It's a warning.

Now, how do you know that?

I studied Latin for three years, Dad.

You thought it was dumb, remember?

You said it was a dead language.

Oh, uh, we see how wrong I was about that.

"Beware all who enter.

"Here lies the passage to the dead."

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Where you going? I don't like Latin.

Hey, wait, Michael. Listen, we've been through this before.

You're ten years old now. You got to start being a man.

I just turned ten. I'm still getting used to it.

OK. Here's what we do.

Megan, you stay out here with your brother. What?!

I'm not gonna leave him out here by himself, all right?

You stay out here. You guys stay together.

And I'll go in here, and I'll take care of this.

OK...

All right.

SQUEAKING

OK.

JIM GRUNTS

Oh.

Wow.

OK.

All right.

OK.

I'll be right back.

20 minutes tops, right?

20 minutes tops.

MUTTERING

SQUAWKING

What was it that gypsy told me to look for?

Look for a crypt with...

Look for a crypt...

A crypt without a name! Aah!

Ohh! What's the matter with you?

You can't just be popping out like that.

You're gonna give me a heart attack.

I thought I told you to wait with Michael.

I was worried you wouldn't find it.

Besides, Michael's fine.

She said, "Find the black crypt with no name,

"or soon your fate will be the same."

That must be it.

Good hunch, Dad.

I'm officially starting to get sick of this place.

And we're here cos of who?

We're here because I take seriously my responsibility as breadwinner of this family.

I want you guys to have everything that I never had before.

I didn't know you had a bad childhood.

I didn't have a bad childhood.

Then why do we have to have what you didn't have?

Because if -

Hey, look, don't be tricking me, all right,

You little Latin-speaking 13-year-old.

Let's just get this over with. Hold this.

Hold it with two hands, now.

Mmph!

GRUNTING

Aah!

Phew!

Pbht! Pbht!

Oh, man!

Excuse me one second.

I'm sorry to bother you.

Ohh, ohh, ohh!

Aah. Ugh.

Oh, no. Ew.

Ah. Aah.

CRACKING

OK. All right.

Now, that wasn't hard, was it?

Let's get out of here.

OK, that gypsy had me thinking it was gonna be hard.

That was easy. RUMBLING

ROARING

Oh! Oh!

Oh, no.

Ooh! Oh, no!

Go get the key! I'll take care of him!

Hey, man, go on back to bed. Get back in your bed.

Go back - back to bed.

I'm Jim Evers of Evers And Evers Real Estate. What's your name?

Hey, look, I don't want no trouble, man. I just came down here to get the key.

The gypsy told me it was all right to get the key, so I'm - hey!

Oh!

Just lighten up. Now, let me tell you something.

I'm trying to get the key cos I got things to do.

I got to get my wife. I don't want no trouble.

Seriously, back up!

You asked for it.

Next time you're gonna think twice

before coming back from the dead, ain't you?

Did you get the key?

I'm looking! I'm looking!

Well, take your time. Relax.

I have everything under control up here.

I have everything completely under control.

RUMBLING

Megan, you better look faster!

Oh, I don't want to do this.

Jeez.

SCREECHING

Aah!

Aaah!

Aah! ROARING

Give me your hand.

OK, come on, come on, come on!

Come on, guys! Hurry up!

Hold on!

Come on, guys! Hurry up!

Michael! Michael, open the door!

'Michael, it's locked from the outside!

'Michael, open the door. Open the door!'

Dad, there are spiders everywhere and I don't have a magazine.

'Hey, Michael, are you scared?' Uh-huh.

'Michael, look, it's OK to be scared, all right?

'Everybody gets scared sometimes.

'Daddy's scared right now.'

You are? Yes, I'm very scared. Now, please open the door, son!

Michael, open the door, or I'll kill you!

Oh, that's great. Keep him calm.

Hey, Michael, listen, it's OK to get scared.

Everybody gets scared every now and then, son.

But you just can't let it stop you.

Michael, if you think you're scared now,

wait till the zombies come out!

'What zombies?'

Michael! Hey, Michael, look.

Just open the door, please, man.

We're running out of time. Open the door right now.

Dad, they're coming!

SCREAMING

Michael, open the door right now!

'Open the door! Open the door!

'Open the door right now! Open the door!'

Oh!

GRUNTING

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Lock it! Lock it!

OK, come on!

All right.

OK. All right. Get 'em off!

OK, come on. Get 'em off. OK.

All right. We got it. All right. You OK?

All right. OK.

My brave little man, all right.

All right. You OK?

Yeah. You got the key?

PATTING

Oh, no.

Wait. Whoa. Yeah, I got it. I got it.

There it is. OK.

All right, now, we went to hell and back to get this thing.

All I want to know now is where's the door out of here?

'First, you must find the trunk.'

Trunk?

'Yes, trunk.'

Not door?

'No. Not door. Trunk.'

All you said I had to do was find this key! I got the key.

Now - now you're telling me this story about a trunk!

The key is the answer to all, remember?

'Look, I don't make the rules, OK?

'I just work here.'

OK, that's it. That's the last straw.

I've had enough of this nonsense.

'Hey, what are you doing?!

'Put me down!

'This is bad luck! This is very bad luck!'

I'll show you bad luck.

I'm tired of playing around with you.

'I'm getting nauseous!'

You'll get over it.

'Please don't drop me.

'I'm fragile. I'm very fragile.'

Don't talk to me about being fragile.

I'm the one that's feeling fragile right now.

Is that it?

'That's it.' Hmm. All right.

Now we're in business.

Hey, hold her for a second.

All right.

OK.

OK.

CLICK

HINGES CREAK

Hey, how do I know what to look for? This thing is full of junk.

'Find the thing that must be read

'lest your heart be filled with dread.'

There's nothing in here red.

Hey, wait a minute. There's a letter here.

It's a letter.

"Yes, my dear heart, I will marry you.

"I will love you for all eternity,

"and tonight at last, we will be together.

"I do.

"Forever yours, Elizabeth."

She didn't kill herself.

She wanted to be with him.

Yeah, and somebody gave him the wrong letter.

RAMSLEY: Yes. Well done, Mr Evers.

I must say I'm impressed.

You are more persistent than I would have ever imagined.

The butler did it?! You gotta be kidding me.

I will deal with you two later.

Why'd you kill her?

Because the master would not listen to reason.

He had everything in the world,

and yet he was willing to throw it all away for love.

I did tell him it would end badly.

You're a real cold dude.

No, Mr Evers, I am a rational man.

It was my responsibility to the house,

My duty, sir, to see to it

that the boy did not make a foolish error in judgment.

Running away with that girl

would have destroyed this house.

It would have destroyed everything.

And I could not stand by and watch it all fall to ruin.

Punch his face in, Dad!

Yeah, but first I'm gonna tell his master what really happened.

The master must never know.

Edward and his love will be reunited,

and this curse will be broken.

But that's not her. That's my wife.

And what she sees in you I'll never know.

But that is of little importance now.

The only thing that matters

is that the master's pain must end.

And it will end tonight.

The curse will be broken, and we can all finally move on.

All right, that's it, man. Where's my wife?

Getting ready for her wedding, of course.

What wedding? He can't marry her.

He's dead, and she's not.

True.

But that can be easily corrected.

Life, I'm afraid, is such a delicate state.

Hey, man, if you put one finger on my wife, I swear I'll kill you.

How wonderful. You're going to kill a ghost.

Leave him alone! Stop it!

Aah!

MUFFLED SCREAMING Let them go!

You're gonna let my kids out of here,

you're gonna take me to my wife,

and you're gonna let us out of here right now!

You want out...

Fine.

Let me show you out.

Now, for the last time,

Good night, Mr Evers.

Aaaahhh!

Ugh!

GRUNTS, GLASS SQUEAKS

CAR ALARM SOUNDS, HONKING

Ugh! Ugh!

Oh! Mm!

DOORS SLAM

This house has waited so long

to have its shroud of darkness lifted.

And tonight, for the first time in...

oh, so many years...

I believe it may be possible

that the story will finally end differently.

INHALES SHARPLY Sara?

Do you believe that love is about second chances?

About forgiveness?

Yes, I do.

Don't you remember?

Remember?

Mr Gracey, are you all right?

Don't you recognize me at all?

Mr Gracey.

I thought certainly...

bringing you back to Gracey Manor would help you remember.

Remember what? Mr Gracey, you're scaring me.

Where it happened.

Where we spent our last moments together.

Where we danced together for the last time before you -

Before you killed yourself!

But now you've returned to me,

and at long last, we can be together.

Why do you not remember?!

You were my world, my life!

And I have loved you in death as I did in life!

Let me go!

Why do you not remember?!

SHE PANTS

You are her. You are Elizabeth.

You must be!

Can you not sense it? Search your heart.

I am your one true love.

And now we can finally be together. Don't you understand?

Elizabeth, you must listen to me. RATTLING

I'm not Elizabeth!

Please, I implore you.

Leave me alone! Get away from me!

BREATHING HEAVILY

She doesn't remember.

It can't be her.

It is her, sir.

The gypsy woman prophesied her return.

And now the time has come.

You had best get ready.

But she doesn't remember.

In time, she will, sir.

I assure you she will.

CAR ALARM SOUNDS, POUNDING ON DOOR JIM: Open up!

Hey!

Let me in!

Gee!

HE GRUNTS

Aaahh!

Aaahh! Aaahh!

Aaahh! Aaahh!

HE PANTS

RATTLING

Oh, Ramsley, you have to help me.

There's something horribly wrong. Mr Gracey -

Yes, I know, my dear. I know.

He's expecting you.

He's always been expecting you.

And you haven't put on your dress yet.

We can't keep the master waiting.

Waiting? For what?

Why, your wedding, of course.

My -

I'm NOT Elizabeth!

Of course you are, my dear.

You may not see it yet, but in time, you will.

You don't actually think I'm going through with this madness, do you?

Oh, yes, I very much do.

You see... we wouldn't want anything

to happen to the children, now, would we?

Michael! Megan!

You wouldn't.

Of course not, my dear.

But that is entirely up to you.

If not...

I really do fear for the children.

Have her ready.

And this time, any further acts of insubordination

will be dealt with in the harshest possible manner.

But, sir?

There are worse things than purgatory, madam.

I can assure you.

SHUDDERING

Have her ready.

WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYS OFF-KEY

Tears of joy.

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

'What are you doing?'

Hey, you leave me alone.

Just get out of here and leave me alone.

'Oh, I see. You're just gonna sit there

'feeling sorry for yourself.'

You tell me why not. This whole thing was my fault.

We should've never been here in the first place.

Should - supposed to be at the lake.

We'd be sitting by a warm fire right now.

I made us come here.

And now - now it's too late.

'No, it's never too late.'

Hey, look, I tried to get in there, and I can't, all right?

I tried! I failed!

'You try. You fail.

'You try. You fail.

'But the only true failure is when you stop trying.'

What do you want me to do?

Huh?

'Try again.'

Hold on!

'With what?'

Aaaahhh! Aaaahhh!

Elizabeth?

Yes, my love.

I'll be right back!

OK. I'll - I'll wait here.

Dearly beloved,

We are gathered together here in the sight of God

to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony.

MICHAEL AND MEGAN SCREAM

Michael! Megan!

Wilt thou, Edward Gracey,

have this woman to be thy wedded wife,

to live together after God's ordinance

in the holiest state of matrimony?

I will.

And do you, Elizabeth Henshaw,

take this man to be your lawful husband?

To love and cherish in death as you did in life?

I do.

Whoa!

Aaahh!

From this day forward, you shall be joined together as one,

for all eternity until the very end of time.

HE SPEAKS LATIN

What God has joined together let no man cast asunder.

Dad!

If anyone has any objections...

Yeah, I got a few objections!

The next time I say we're going to the lake,

we're going to the lake. Let's go.

Get away from her.

I lost her once.

I don't intend to let it happen again.

This is not Elizabeth. Ramsley, you tell him the truth.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Well, now you got amnesia, huh?

Elizabeth didn't kill herself. He did it.

He's been lying to you all along.

I'm warning you, sir.

Step away.

Man, don't think just cos you pull out your sword I'm gonna let you marry my wife.

My patience is wearing thin. Elizabeth, please, come along.

I'm not Elizabeth.

You must be.

Her name is Sara. She's from New Jersey.

Ramsley wants you to think she's Elizabeth

so this curse would be lifted.

That is absurd.