A Fish Called Wanda

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This film contains strong language.	0:00:08	0:00:15
And on that point, members of the jury, I rest my case.	0:00:22	0:00:27
CAMERA CLICKS	0:00:45	0:00:48
RINGING	0:00:51	0:00:53
Hello, Wanda.	0:01:18	0:01:20
-Hi, Ken. -Hello, W-Wanda.	0:02:30	0:02:33
-Ken...this is Otto. -Hello, Ken. Wanda's told me a lot about you.	0:02:33	0:02:39
Hey, great fish! A little lemon, tartare sauce - perfect!	0:02:39	0:02:44
Is George back yet?	0:02:45	0:02:47
N-No, he had to g-go...	0:02:47	0:02:51
What?	0:02:54	0:02:56
That's quite a stutter you've got there!	0:02:56	0:02:59
It's OK. It doesn't bother me.	0:02:59	0:03:02
So George needs a weapons man, eh?	0:03:02	0:03:05
-A cup of tea, Ken? -Y-Yuh... -Yeah, he'd like one.	0:03:05	0:03:10
-My friend in the CIA had a stutter. Cost him his life, dammit. -DOOR OPENS	0:03:10	0:03:16
Hi, George.	0:03:16	0:03:18
Hello, George. Get you a scotch?	0:03:20	0:03:23
Yeah.	0:03:23	0:03:25
George...	0:03:25	0:03:26
This is Otto.	0:03:26	0:03:29
So...	0:03:30	0:03:32
-..you're Wanda's brother? -Good to be here. England is a fine country!	0:03:32	0:03:37
Did she tell you what we need?	0:03:37	0:03:39
KEN GASPS	0:03:43	0:03:45
Something like that?	0:03:47	0:03:50
Something like that.	0:03:51	0:03:54
Hello, Wendy!	0:03:54	0:03:56
Had a good day?	0:03:57	0:04:00
I spend the morning trying to get the waste disposal man to come,	0:04:00	0:04:05
had lunch with Marjorie Brooks who spends the entire meal complaining,	0:04:05	0:04:11
-then I come back here and Sandersons have sent the wrong flowers. -Oh, no! Would you like some tea?	0:04:11	0:04:18
Yes!	0:04:18	0:04:20
-I won the case. -This is the first moment I've had to myself all day!	0:04:20	0:04:25
-Portia, how was the show? -Awful. I need a new horse. -But you liked Phantom. -He's not fit for dog meat.	0:04:30	0:04:37
Can I change him? It won't cost much.	0:04:37	0:04:40
-Aren't you making the tea, Archie? -Let me do it. -No, I'LL do it!	0:04:40	0:04:46
-I won the case! -Oh! Now this is cracked!	0:04:50	0:04:53
They're worth about 100,000 each.	0:04:55	0:04:58
There are 135 of them - that makes 13 million, my friends!	0:04:58	0:05:03
-Dollars? -Pounds, pet. This is the big one, so...	0:05:03	0:05:07
OK.	0:05:08	0:05:10
Yeah.	0:05:10	0:05:11
Otto!	0:05:12	0:05:14
Yes?	0:05:14	0:05:16
OK.	0:05:16	0:05:17
What?	0:05:17	0:05:19
The plan!	0:05:19	0:05:21
Yeah, great! What was the middle thing about the police?	0:05:21	0:05:26
-We don't meet up at Heathrow until Tuesday... -Yeah! -I haven't finished yet!	0:05:26	0:05:32
-Because the police will watch the airports for 72 hours. -I know.	0:05:32	0:05:37
I know.	0:05:37	0:05:39
Do you want m-me to g-get...	0:05:39	0:05:42
..a b-big...c-car?	0:05:42	0:05:47
Yes, Ken. A limo, OK?	0:05:47	0:05:50
Put diplomatic plates on it.	0:05:50	0:05:53
-What if he has to say something during the break-in? -No-one says anything! -It's OK. Ken's good.	0:05:53	0:06:00
So, next week, we won't have to look for work!	0:06:00	0:06:04
And it won't have to look for us!	0:06:04	0:06:08
Oscar Wilde.	0:06:08	0:06:10
You really like animals, don't you? What's the attraction?	0:06:14	0:06:19
Because you can t-trust them...	0:06:19	0:06:22
-..and they don't sh... -Shit on you?	0:06:22	0:06:25
..Shove off all the time.	0:06:25	0:06:27
Nietzsche said they were God's second blunder.	0:06:27	0:06:32
Bye, Sis!	0:06:32	0:06:34
Well, you t-tell him from me... that I c-could...	0:06:34	0:06:38
Bye, George!	0:06:38	0:06:40
-Talk to Mom and tell her I said hi. -OK.	0:06:40	0:06:43
-THEY WHISPER: -Don't let him touch you. -We'll be together soon.	0:06:43	0:06:48
I'm sorry my brother's so insensitive.	0:06:50	0:06:53
He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up.	0:06:53	0:06:57
Good.	0:07:02	0:07:03
Move and you're dead!	0:08:24	0:08:27
ALARM RINGS	0:08:47	0:08:50
DOGS YAP	0:08:53	0:08:56
Look where you're going, selfish pig!	0:08:57	0:09:00
People just think they own the pavement!	0:09:00	0:09:04
I love robbing the English!	0:09:31	0:09:34
They're so polite.	0:09:34	0:09:36
-Th-Th... -What? -The dog! -20 million dollars and he's worried about an insect! -It's not an in-in...	0:09:36	0:09:43
Stammer's no better, is it? Have you thought about surgery?	0:09:43	0:09:47
SIRENS WAIL	0:09:47	0:09:50
Ken...	0:09:53	0:09:54
Bye.	0:09:55	0:09:57
-Let's split. -Heathrow, Tuesday. -No celebrating! -No celebrating?	0:10:28	0:10:33
-See you in a couple of hours. -OK.	0:10:34	0:10:37
-To 20 million. -To a job well done! -To us.	0:11:22	0:11:26
-To the best brother and sister team since... -Romeo and Juliet?	0:11:26	0:11:31
Those cockney klutzes bought our story! What MORONS!	0:11:31	0:11:35
-I want you to know something. -What?	0:11:35	0:11:38
Even if you were my brother, I'd still want to fuck you.	0:11:38	0:11:42
-Ooh... Mmm... -Make the call.	0:11:42	0:11:45
-Un momento, carissima. -No Italian!	0:11:45	0:11:49
-Due insalate verde con pepperoni! -No!	0:11:49	0:11:53
-E un linguini primavera! -No! Make the call, Otto!	0:11:53	0:11:58
-Are you really Italian? -Assolutamente.	0:11:59	0:12:02
Otto means eight. Say arrivederci a Giorgio.	0:12:02	0:12:06
-Bye, George. -Putta me through to...	0:12:06	0:12:09
-CLIPPED ENGLISH ACCENT: -Hello. Sorry to trouble you,	0:12:09	0:12:13
but I thought you'd like to know that the Hatton Garden robbery was pulled off by a Mr George Thomason.	0:12:13	0:12:20
He lives at...	0:12:20	0:12:23
..flat 3, Kipling Mansions, Murray Road, London W9.	0:12:23	0:12:28
Wanda?	0:12:30	0:12:31
POLICE SIRENS WAIL	0:12:42	0:12:45
KNOCKING	0:12:54	0:12:56
Open up!	0:12:56	0:12:58
George Francis Thomason?	0:13:13	0:13:16
Passport. Tickets. Money.	0:13:28	0:13:31
Asshole!	0:13:37	0:13:39
CAR CRASHES >	0:13:39	0:13:41
-We're rich, Wanda. -Yep!	0:13:49	0:13:51
-I bet you've had the most exciting time of your life with me. -You said it!	0:13:51	0:13:58
-HE GASPS -..OK.	0:14:07	0:14:11
OK... I'm DISAPPOINTED!	0:14:12	0:14:15
Son of a bitch!	0:14:15	0:14:17
-What do you have to do to make people trust you?! -Shut up!	0:14:19	0:14:24
-People always take advantage of me! -Think! Where is it?	0:14:24	0:14:28
-What are you doing? -I'm thinking!	0:14:30	0:14:33
-First I'll hang him up with piano wire, then... -I'm going to talk to him.	0:14:33	0:14:39
Then I'll... Talk to who? Talk to who?	0:14:39	0:14:44
-In the course of installing these windows, you knelt on broken glass from the pane you'd dropped? -Yes.	0:14:44	0:14:52
-And your parents can confirm this? -And his aunt, Georgina Thomason.	0:14:52	0:14:57
-KNOCK AT DOOR -Yes?	0:14:57	0:15:00
Excuse me, sir. There's a young lady to see Thomason.	0:15:00	0:15:04
-Anything else? -That's everything for the moment, thanks.	0:15:04	0:15:09
Ken will be in with the fish food later.	0:15:09	0:15:13
Thanks. OK.	0:15:13	0:15:15
-Well? -We'll be OK on the glass, but what else will they have?	0:15:15	0:15:20
WOLF WHISTLES	0:15:24	0:15:27
Oh, George!	0:15:30	0:15:32
-I can't believe this is happening! -That's not allowed, miss.	0:15:32	0:15:37
-Are you OK? -I'm all right. -I can't handle this.	0:15:37	0:15:42
-I couldn't sleep. I was afraid the police... -Leave it out, OK?	0:15:42	0:15:47
Listen...	0:15:47	0:15:49
Listen!	0:15:49	0:15:51
You stayed at my place.	0:15:51	0:15:53
We slept late.	0:15:53	0:15:56
You made me breakfast.	0:15:56	0:15:59
-What? -What's he doing here?	0:16:03	0:16:06
He wanted to see you!	0:16:06	0:16:09
Who did it, George? Do you want me to rub him out?	0:16:09	0:16:13
Anything. You name it.	0:16:13	0:16:16
-I have friends making enquiries. -Good.	0:16:16	0:16:19
The jewels are very safe. If I get sent down, it gets handed back to cut my sentence.	0:16:19	0:16:26
To cut my sentence even more, I could tell them who done it with me,	0:16:26	0:16:31
if I wasn't very happy about everything.	0:16:31	0:16:35
What was the middle thing?	0:16:35	0:16:37
Piss off.	0:16:37	0:16:39
-Do you want me to...? -Now!	0:16:41	0:16:44
George...	0:16:50	0:16:52
-..you don't think...? -Do you?	0:16:52	0:16:55
No!	0:16:56	0:16:57
No...	0:17:00	0:17:02
No!	0:17:02	0:17:04
-OK. -George? -What?	0:17:04	0:17:07
(Are you sure the garage is very safe?)	0:17:07	0:17:11
Trust me.	0:17:13	0:17:15
Thanks a lot. Bye. Have a good day.	0:17:16	0:17:20
-He's not sure it was you. That's something, I guess. -What about you?	0:17:20	0:17:25
-He believes me. That's why he can't figure out about you. -Figure out what? -If you turned him in, stupid!	0:17:25	0:17:32
Don't, er...	0:17:32	0:17:35
..ever, ever, EVER call me stupid, OK?	0:17:35	0:17:39
What?	0:17:41	0:17:43
That's George's lawyer. The other guy must be the barrister.	0:17:46	0:17:51
-So? -Trust me.	0:17:52	0:17:55
-Let me know if anything unexpected turns up. -Excuse me!	0:17:58	0:18:03
-Don't I recognise you? -No, I don't think so.	0:18:03	0:18:07
Oh... But you are a famous barrister, aren't you?	0:18:07	0:18:11
Um... Well, hardly!	0:18:12	0:18:15
Well, could I have your autograph anyway?	0:18:15	0:18:19
-Yes, certainly. -Thanks.	0:18:20	0:18:23
-I'm studying aspects of your legal system. I'm American. -Oh, really?	0:18:23	0:18:28
-I've only just started. It's fascinating! -What brings you here?	0:18:28	0:18:33
-It's a little embarrassing. I have a friend. -Oh, I see. Well, there you are.	0:18:33	0:18:40
-I knew it! You're Archie Leesh! -Leach. -Right!	0:18:40	0:18:44
I saw you in court, er...two weeks ago!	0:18:44	0:18:48
-The casino break-in? -Oh, you were great!	0:18:48	0:18:52
Oh, I'm a big fan of yours! I love the way you, er...cross-examine.	0:18:52	0:18:58
I really admire your work!	0:18:58	0:19:00
Thank you.	0:19:00	0:19:02
-I'd better not... -I don't suppose you'd...? No, fine. -Right.	0:19:02	0:19:07
Well...	0:19:07	0:19:09
Thank you for this. I'll treasure it.	0:19:09	0:19:12
Au revoir.	0:19:13	0:19:15
You speak French, too.	0:19:17	0:19:20
-What's going on? -Whatever George decides to do, he'll tell Leach.	0:19:39	0:19:44
Why?	0:19:44	0:19:46
-Because he's his lawyer. -I know that.	0:19:46	0:19:49
-So I'll get to know Leach. -George will tell him where the diamonds are? -That's what I'll find out.	0:19:49	0:19:56
You done well, my son!	0:20:08	0:20:10
Where we gonna hide it?	0:20:10	0:20:13
The fish tank. Very good.	0:20:14	0:20:16
Don't tell Wanda anything. Otto might get something out of her.	0:20:16	0:20:22
George.	0:20:22	0:20:23
You are going to g-get off?	0:20:23	0:20:26
Don't worry, Ken. We'll fix it. Anything on Otto?	0:20:26	0:20:31
Not yet. You watch him.	0:20:31	0:20:35
Ken?	0:20:38	0:20:40
OK.	0:20:41	0:20:42
The police have been all over it. I'll change and then I'll help look.	0:20:42	0:20:48
Hello...K-Ken's p-p-p-pets!	0:20:49	0:20:53
Hey!	0:20:53	0:20:54
Wake up! Wake up, limey fish!	0:20:56	0:20:59
So, how are you going to get friendly with this lawyer?	0:20:59	0:21:04
I don't know. I'll improvise.	0:21:04	0:21:07
Insects!	0:21:07	0:21:09
I thought Englishmen didn't like women, the way they talk.	0:21:09	0:21:14
He's straight. Cute, too, in a pompous sort of way.	0:21:14	0:21:18
-You got the hots for him? -I'm not into necrophilia, thanks!	0:21:18	0:21:23
Is this hump-a-limey week? Otto disapproves. Otto might get jealous.	0:21:25	0:21:30
E molto pericoloso, signorina.	0:21:30	0:21:34
Molto pericoloso...	0:21:34	0:21:37
-Carissima... -Speak it! Speak it!	0:21:43	0:21:46
Ossobuco milanese con piselli!	0:21:46	0:21:50
Melanzane...	0:21:50	0:21:52
Parmigiana con spinace!	0:21:52	0:21:56
Yes! Yes! Yes!	0:21:56	0:21:58
-No! No! No! -Si! Si! Si!	0:21:58	0:22:02
No! Not here!	0:22:02	0:22:04
Not here, Otto!	0:22:04	0:22:06
-Um... Mozzarella? -No, not here! -Parmigiano!	0:22:06	0:22:10
No!	0:22:10	0:22:12
Wanda?	0:22:17	0:22:18
Look what I've got, Wanda!	0:22:23	0:22:26
Treasure!	0:22:28	0:22:30
I thought it was the police. Isn't it horrible about George?	0:23:15	0:23:20
I've a headache. Will you buy me some aspirin?	0:23:20	0:23:24
-DOOR SHUTS What's that? -Otto's in the bathroom.	0:23:24	0:23:28
-Otto? -We went to see George. It was horrible!	0:23:28	0:23:33
Isn't it terrible about George?	0:23:39	0:23:42
When I find the bastard who squealed!	0:23:42	0:23:46
-I love that man! -What are you doing here?	0:23:46	0:23:50
Wanda was upset, Ken. She needed to talk to family.	0:23:50	0:23:54
But sh-she just had a sh-shower!	0:23:54	0:23:58
I must speak to you.	0:23:59	0:24:02
-WANDA SOBS -Are you OK? -Yes. Thanks for coming. -Call me if you need me. -OK.	0:24:02	0:24:08
-Can't you think about her feelings? -Something f-funny is going on! -Oh, dear.	0:24:11	0:24:17
-You don't even know why you're excited. -I saw the... -Ken!	0:24:17	0:24:22
Isn't it time you faced up to certain realities, Ken?	0:24:22	0:24:27
Come on!	0:24:27	0:24:29
You're attractive. You're smart.	0:24:29	0:24:32
-You've wonderful bones, great eyes, and you dress interestingly. -W-What...?	0:24:32	0:24:38
We could have fun together. We'd be good for each other. What do you say?	0:24:38	0:24:44
-You must be j-jo... -May I kiss you? -No, you fucking can't!	0:24:46	0:24:50
-Just a peck! No tongue! -No!	0:24:50	0:24:53
Ken! OK, you didn't realise I was gay.	0:24:59	0:25:03
OK, look, I'm sorry. I've handled this badly.	0:25:03	0:25:06
The physical side can wait.	0:25:06	0:25:09
You need time.	0:25:09	0:25:12
But will you think about it?	0:25:14	0:25:17
Oh, my God!	0:25:38	0:25:40
OH, MY GOD!	0:25:40	0:25:43
Ken, somebody just called!	0:25:43	0:25:46
They said that the police know that the loot is in a garage in Fulham!	0:25:46	0:25:51
-You and I have to go and move it before the police find it! -N-No!	0:25:51	0:25:56
-It's all right! -What?	0:25:56	0:25:59
-Geor... Geor... -George... -Mo... Mo... -Moved...	0:25:59	0:26:04
-George moved the loot?! -Yes.	0:26:04	0:26:08
WHERE DID HE MOVE IT, KEN?	0:26:08	0:26:11
Ca...	0:26:11	0:26:13
Ca...	0:26:13	0:26:14
I don't know. There's a key.	0:26:24	0:26:27
It's in...	0:26:27	0:26:29
Don't tell me. It's better not to.	0:26:31	0:26:34
Oh, you know, if it wasn't for George...	0:26:34	0:26:39
Otto...	0:26:43	0:26:45
..tried to ki...kiss me.	0:26:45	0:26:49
I thought he might.	0:26:49	0:26:52
No, nothing. No marks at all.	0:26:55	0:26:58
-But it is a safety deposit box key? -Yes. But it could be any one of millions - hotels, banks, offices.	0:26:58	0:27:06
Thank you.	0:27:06	0:27:08
(Fuck!)	0:27:09	0:27:11
That's him. That's him, Inspector.	0:27:26	0:27:29
HE tried to murder my dogs!	0:27:29	0:27:32
Davidson!	0:27:50	0:27:51
-A legal student wants to see me. What time is Sir John due? -12.30.	0:27:51	0:27:57
Come in!	0:28:08	0:28:09
-Hi. -How nice to see you!	0:28:09	0:28:12
-Am I interrupting? -Absolutely not.	0:28:12	0:28:16
-Really? -No, really. I'm delighted to see you.	0:28:16	0:28:20
So...this is the place, huh?	0:28:23	0:28:26
-This is it. -Very nice!	0:28:26	0:28:28
I was over at the courts this morning. It's fascinating!	0:28:28	0:28:33
-Everyone wears these. Do you? -Ridiculous!	0:28:33	0:28:37
-Well, I only have a few minutes before... -I'm sorry. -But I'm all yours.	0:28:40	0:28:47
I just have a few questions.	0:28:47	0:28:49
-I'm having a problem understanding preliminary criminal procedures. -Good.	0:28:49	0:28:55
What exactly is the committal?	0:28:55	0:28:59
It's where the prosecution presents prima facie evidence	0:28:59	0:29:04
that the accused has a case to answer for trial.	0:29:04	0:29:08
Let's just take, for example, my friend George Thomason.	0:29:08	0:29:13
-When he goes for his committal on Wednesday... -Thomason?	0:29:13	0:29:18
-Yes. -George Thomason?	0:29:18	0:29:20
Yes. Do you know him?	0:29:20	0:29:23
-I'm defending him! -What are you talking about?	0:29:23	0:29:27
I'm his barrister. His lawyer.	0:29:27	0:29:30
That's so great!	0:29:31	0:29:34
That's so weird, though, isn't it?	0:29:34	0:29:36
-I'm so happy that you're defending him! -Thank you. -He'll get off now!	0:29:36	0:29:43
Wow!	0:29:43	0:29:45
-Well, I can watch you work now! -Please.	0:29:45	0:29:48
Amazing.	0:29:51	0:29:53
-Anyway, at the committal, George would then plead... -"Not Guilty". -Really?	0:29:53	0:29:59
-The evidence is circumstantial. -What about the identification?	0:29:59	0:30:05
An elderly lady. I think they've got the wrong man.	0:30:05	0:30:09
-You don't think he did it. -No.	0:30:10	0:30:13
Let's just say for argument's sake that you did think he did it.	0:30:13	0:30:18
-If further evidence came to light, for example. -Right.	0:30:18	0:30:22
You'd advise him to plead guilty, and turn over the jewels to cut his sentence. He'd turn them over to?	0:30:22	0:30:30
To you?	0:30:30	0:30:32
-Theoretically? -Of course!	0:30:34	0:30:37
Well, um...	0:30:37	0:30:39
I'm so sorry, I've forgotten your name.	0:30:39	0:30:43
Wanda.	0:30:44	0:30:45
Wanda. What a fool! Well, Wanda, there are three...	0:30:45	0:30:50
Not Wanda Gershwitz?	0:30:53	0:30:56
Yes.	0:30:57	0:30:58
-My God. -What?	0:30:58	0:31:01
-You're his alibi! I can't talk to you! -Why not? -My dear young lady...	0:31:01	0:31:06
..you're a defence witness!	0:31:06	0:31:09
-You must leave. -Why? -It's not ethical for me to talk to a witness! -Everyone does it in America.	0:31:09	0:31:16
Please leave, or I may have to give up the case.	0:31:16	0:31:21
Please?	0:31:21	0:31:22
Oh, Archie...	0:31:27	0:31:29
I didn't come here today to talk about boring criminal procedures.	0:31:30	0:31:35
Come on! You know!	0:31:36	0:31:38
You knew the minute I walked in here!	0:31:38	0:31:42
I want you.	0:31:43	0:31:46
-What? -BUZZER	0:31:48	0:31:51
-Hello? -'Sir John is here.' -Show him in. -Make love with me. -'Pardon?' -Nothing!	0:31:51	0:31:58
-Take me to bed, Archie. -No, sorry.	0:31:58	0:32:00
Bye, Uncle!	0:32:04	0:32:06
Hi!	0:32:09	0:32:11
DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC	0:32:21	0:32:24
He's pleading "Not Guilty", so you're safe until the trial.	0:32:27	0:32:32
Leach doesn't think he did it.	0:32:32	0:32:35
Ken says there's a safe deposit box key, but only George knows where it is.	0:32:35	0:32:42
"Thank you, Wanda(!)"	0:32:42	0:32:44
What have YOU found out?	0:32:46	0:32:49
-Not a lot. -You realise he's in court tomorrow? -I know that!	0:32:49	0:32:53
-So nothing, huh? -Nichts!	0:32:53	0:32:56
Zip...	0:32:56	0:32:58
Diddly... Bubkas...	0:32:59	0:33:01
Niente!	0:33:03	0:33:05
-It's too big! -No, it isn't, Portia. -It's enormous! -No, it isn't!	0:33:09	0:33:14
-Please, Mother. -Absolutely not! -I'm so miserable and you just don't care! -Do shut up, Portia!	0:33:14	0:33:21
People complain to me all day!	0:33:21	0:33:24
Oh, dear.	0:33:25	0:33:27
DRAMATIC MUSIC	0:33:27	0:33:30
TRUMPET FANFARE	0:33:30	0:33:32
-Ecco l'uomo!	0:33:34	0:33:37
Le due cupole grande della cattedrale di Milano!	0:33:52	0:33:56
Benito Mussolini!	0:34:39	0:34:41
Dov'e il Vaticano?	0:34:52	0:34:55
Oh... Ecco l'uomo!	0:34:58	0:35:02
-# -Volare, oh, oh!	0:35:10	0:35:13
-# -E cantare, oh, oh... -#	0:35:13	0:35:16
-Archie, I want you to speak to her about plastic surgery. -Hmm?	0:35:28	0:35:33
-I wish you'd listen. I want you to speak to Portia. -I'll speak to her in the morning. -Good night, Archie.	0:35:33	0:35:40
Good night, Archie!	0:35:40	0:35:43
Good night, Wanda!	0:35:43	0:35:46
Good night who?	0:35:46	0:35:48
Sorry, darling. Just a stupid case I've got tomorrow with some old hag.	0:35:48	0:35:54
Are you George Francis Thomason of Kipling Mansions, London W9?	0:35:55	0:36:00
Yes, sir.	0:36:02	0:36:04
Charged with armed robbery. Sit down.	0:36:04	0:36:07
-Are we ready for a committal claim? -Yes, it will be under 6-2. -That is correct.	0:36:07	0:36:14
Here are the statements. To be fully bound, please.	0:36:14	0:36:18
Stand up, Mr Thomason.	0:36:18	0:36:20
You are hereby committed to stand trial at the central criminal court.	0:36:20	0:36:25
There is some urgency about this case, madam.	0:36:25	0:36:29
The main witness, Mrs Eileen Cody, has had heart difficulties recently.	0:36:29	0:36:34
Might this case be put down for an early trial?	0:36:34	0:36:39
The listings officer will decide. Take him to the cell.	0:36:45	0:36:48
Hi, hon. You look great! I love your hair! Time for a coffee?	0:37:04	0:37:09
-No. -Have you considered it, though?	0:37:09	0:37:12
Why did he give you this? "Eileen Cody, 69, Basil Street"? Is it to send her flowers? Do her shopping?	0:37:12	0:37:20
Rub her out?	0:37:20	0:37:23
He wants you to rub her out?	0:37:24	0:37:27
-He's going to kill her! -LAUGHS MANIACALLY	0:37:29	0:37:33
Fuck off, or I'll kill YOU!	0:37:33	0:37:36
Limey fruits!	0:37:36	0:37:38
-So the old lady's going to m-meet with an accident, eh, K-Ken? -Sssh!	0:37:39	0:37:45
-What's so funny? -Nothing. It's just that wasting old ladies isn't nice!	0:37:46	0:37:51
It's better than...buggering people!	0:37:51	0:37:54
I bet you a pound you don't kill her!	0:37:54	0:37:58
-All right. -All right.	0:37:58	0:38:00
I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what?	0:38:00	0:38:06
Don't go near him! He's mine!	0:38:07	0:38:10
A pound says you won't kill her!	0:38:11	0:38:14
-When could you look at it? -Thursday is hopeless.	0:38:16	0:38:20
-My wife's going to the opera Friday night. I'll look at it then. -Thanks, Archie.	0:38:20	0:38:27
-Hi. I know we're not allowed to talk. Give me a call. -I can't!	0:38:27	0:38:33
Please.	0:38:33	0:38:35
-I'm not allowed to speak. -You don't have to. I don't want you for your conversation.	0:38:35	0:38:42
Look, I'd love to, but...	0:38:46	0:38:49
LOUD WAILS	0:38:53	0:38:57
-What happened? -Got a date Friday.	0:38:59	0:39:02
JOLLY WHISTLING	0:39:03	0:39:06
DOGS YAP	0:39:16	0:39:18
Look here. Do you mind not making that terrible noise? My dogs will be having their nap.	0:39:18	0:39:25
Nice doggy...	0:39:25	0:39:28
DOGS BARK AND GROWL	0:39:28	0:39:31
Otto, what are you doing?	0:39:45	0:39:48
-Buddhist meditation. It focuses aggression. The monks did it before battle. -What kind of buddhism is it?	0:39:48	0:39:56
HORN BLARES	0:39:58	0:40:01
Asshole!	0:40:01	0:40:02
-It's an early Tantric meditation... What is this? -To get information I might have to get friendly with him.	0:40:03	0:40:11
We're ready now at last.	0:40:11	0:40:14
-Enjoy the opera, darling. -Supper's in the fridge, Archie. Be good.	0:40:14	0:40:19
What does "friendly" mean?	0:40:20	0:40:23
Cordial? Courteous? Supportive? What?	0:40:23	0:40:27
I don't know. Let's just see what happens.	0:40:27	0:40:31
-So "friendly" might include what? Penetration, say? -I don't need your jealousy now.	0:40:31	0:40:38
-Jealousy? -Yes! -I'm just curious. Me jealous of that fop?	0:40:38	0:40:42
-What about my tits? -Does he get to handle them? -Yes. That's my forecast. -Nuzzling?	0:40:51	0:40:58
20 million dollars is worth a little nuzzling. 80 per cent chance there.	0:40:58	0:41:03
-Sucking? -I thought you weren't jealous! -Jealousy is for the weak.	0:41:03	0:41:08
One thing, though - touch his dick and he's dead!	0:41:08	0:41:12
-Daddy didn't get the car serviced. -Aren't we going? -Do shut up, Portia!	0:41:17	0:41:22
(Hurry up.)	0:41:35	0:41:37
Hi.	0:41:51	0:41:52
Do you despise me?	0:41:54	0:41:57
No, that's not a word that leaps to mind(!)	0:42:00	0:42:04
Can I stay then?	0:42:04	0:42:06
Of course.	0:42:09	0:42:12
-Look...Wanda... -I know. Your wife's coming back.	0:42:12	0:42:17
It's about what I said to you. It IS all right for us to speak.	0:42:17	0:42:23
-It is? -Provided we don't discuss the case.	0:42:23	0:42:27
Oh...	0:42:27	0:42:29
Oh, fine.	0:42:29	0:42:31
-It's just that if anyone saw us talking... -But they won't.	0:42:31	0:42:36
Sorry if I seem...pompous.	0:42:42	0:42:45
Oh, you're the best, Archie.	0:42:45	0:42:47
No...	0:42:51	0:42:53
Not yet. I'm thirsty.	0:42:53	0:42:56
What shall I get you?	0:42:58	0:43:00
Whisky.	0:43:01	0:43:03
You are the sexiest, most beautiful girl I have ever seen...	0:43:07	0:43:12
..in my entire life.	0:43:14	0:43:16
Get me my drink.	0:43:17	0:43:20
Oh... Oh, Archie.	0:43:40	0:43:43
Oh, Archie!	0:43:45	0:43:47
So...	0:43:52	0:43:54
..if George decides to change his plea,	0:43:54	0:43:58
-he'd tell you where the loot was first, wouldn't he? -Mmm?	0:43:58	0:44:03
-Darling, we mustn't talk about the trial. -I just meant theoretically.	0:44:03	0:44:08
Kiss me there.	0:44:09	0:44:11
Oh, theoretically...	0:44:11	0:44:14
HE STARTS TO GIVE A MUFFLED REPLY	0:44:16	0:44:21
-What's wrong? -It's wonderful!	0:44:32	0:44:35
Oh!	0:44:38	0:44:39
-What's wrong? -Oh, you're getting me so hot! I need something to drink.	0:44:39	0:44:44
-Something cold? Maybe in the fridge? -Champagne? -My favourite!	0:44:44	0:44:49
Don't go away!	0:44:50	0:44:53
Je reviens!	0:44:55	0:44:57
-What are you doing here?! -Relax! -Get the fuck out! -The moaning worried me. -I was faking it, stupid!	0:45:07	0:45:14
-Don't call me stupid! And I'm not jealous. -Leave! -OK!	0:45:14	0:45:18
What a nice place.	0:45:20	0:45:23
Don't touch his dick!	0:45:23	0:45:25
(His wife!)	0:45:25	0:45:27
For goodness sake, get off to bed!	0:45:31	0:45:35
Oh, God, there isn't any ice!	0:45:36	0:45:39
Champagne!	0:45:49	0:45:50
What's the matter?	0:45:52	0:45:55
-What are you doing? -Champagne, dear.	0:45:55	0:45:59
To welcome you home. Let me pour you a glass.	0:45:59	0:46:03
-Whose is the car? -Car? -Blocking the drive.	0:46:04	0:46:08
How was the opera?	0:46:11	0:46:13
Whose car is it?	0:46:13	0:46:16
Mine. A beauty, isn't it? Where did I leave my drink, Archie? Ah!	0:46:16	0:46:21
-Who is this? -Don't you know? -How do you do, Mrs Leach?	0:46:22	0:46:27
I'm Harvey Manfrend...gendson.	0:46:27	0:46:31
-I'm with the CIA. -CIA? -That's right, ma'am.	0:46:31	0:46:34
I was telling your husband before I had to go to your beautiful bathroom....	0:46:34	0:46:41
..we've a KGB defector in a safe house near here.	0:46:41	0:46:45
We're debriefing him as of now and we're just...	0:46:45	0:46:50
-..checking the houses in the area. -For what? -For the KGB. -Is there any danger? -No.	0:46:50	0:46:56
No, not now.	0:46:56	0:46:58
We, er, we just want to keep everyone informed. Thanks for the drink.	0:46:58	0:47:04
-Sorry to have troubled you. -Keep everyone informed. -There's no panic.	0:47:04	0:47:10
-Isn't it a secret? -You have no idea how secret. -Why are you telling us?	0:47:10	0:47:15
It's a smokescreen?	0:47:15	0:47:18
-What? -Double bluff.	0:47:18	0:47:20
You know nothing about intelligence work, lady. It's an XK Red 27 technique.	0:47:20	0:47:27
My father was in the Secret Service, Mr Manfredgendson. I know that you don't inform the general public	0:47:27	0:47:34
-when debriefing the KGB in a safe house. -You don't, huh? -Not unless you're irretrievably stupid, no.	0:47:34	0:47:42
Don't call me stupid!	0:47:42	0:47:44
Why not?	0:47:44	0:47:47
Oh, you English are so superior, aren't you?	0:47:47	0:47:51
Would you like to know where you'd be without the U-S of A to protect you? I'll tell you.	0:47:51	0:47:58
The smallest fucking province in the Russian empire!	0:47:58	0:48:02
Don't call me stupid, thank me!	0:48:02	0:48:05
Thank you for popping in and protecting us!	0:48:05	0:48:09
If it wasn't for us, you'd be singing Deutschland Uber Alles!	0:48:09	0:48:13
My brother's covering for me! Get rid of your wife and get my locket!	0:48:13	0:48:18
-Right. I'll get rid of her. -Who are you talking to? -Myself.	0:48:18	0:48:23
-Who was shouting? -A friend's brother.	0:48:23	0:48:27
-Archie! Who on earth...? -He rang the bell and... Let's go to the pub!	0:48:27	0:48:32
-What? -Would you like to? -We haven't been to the pub for 15 years!	0:48:32	0:48:37
-I want to show Portia. -Honestly!	0:48:37	0:48:40
-AAAGH! -What on earth is it?	0:48:40	0:48:43
I thought the picture was falling.	0:48:43	0:48:46
-What's this? -Well done! Coming with us? -What was that? -A necklace.	0:48:47	0:48:54
-What's going on? -Nothing. Let's go. -Can I see that? -What? -In your hand.	0:48:54	0:48:59
Your other hand!	0:49:00	0:49:02
Portia, go to your room. I forgot some papers and a secretary... GO!	0:49:02	0:49:08
-Oh, Archie... -No, really.	0:49:08	0:49:11
It's lovely!	0:49:11	0:49:13
Thank you!	0:49:13	0:49:15
-It's even got a "W" for Wendy! -I'm so glad you like it, darling!	0:49:17	0:49:23
It's the most beautiful thing you've ever given me!	0:49:23	0:49:27
Archie! This isn't like you!	0:49:32	0:49:35
Are you fucking crazy?!	0:49:41	0:49:44
-I saved your ass! -I had him right where I wanted him, you asshole!	0:49:44	0:49:49
-I gave you one fucking thing to do, Otto! You were supposed to drive me here and shut up! -Relax!	0:49:49	0:49:56
CAR DRIVES AWAY NOISILY	0:49:56	0:49:59
TELEPHONE RINGS	0:49:59	0:50:03
Hello?	0:50:03	0:50:05
Hold on. ..It's for you.	0:50:05	0:50:08
Hello?	0:50:10	0:50:12
Not at the moment, no.	0:50:14	0:50:16
I'm not quite sure when I'll be able to get hold of that.	0:50:18	0:50:23
Yes, yes, I do appreciate that. As soon as possible.	0:50:23	0:50:27
Well, that would be very nice, obviously.	0:50:28	0:50:32
See you soon, I hope. Bye, Frank.	0:50:32	0:50:36
DOG GROWLS AND BARKS	0:50:37	0:50:41
Easy! Calm down! Easy, g-girl!	0:50:41	0:50:44
Easy!	0:50:44	0:50:45
Come here.	0:50:51	0:50:54
Smell!	0:50:54	0:50:55
Smell!	0:50:55	0:50:57
Now, k-k-k...	0:50:57	0:50:59
..k-k-kill!	0:50:59	0:51:02
BELL TOLLS	0:51:26	0:51:28
We therefore commit its body to the ground.	0:51:28	0:51:32
Earth to earth,	0:51:33	0:51:35
ashes to ashes, dust to dust.	0:51:35	0:51:38
CHOIR BOYS SING "MISERERE DOMINE"	0:51:42	0:51:45
Hello, honey. What happened?	0:51:55	0:51:58
-N-Nothing. -What's that?	0:51:58	0:52:01
-Um... -Not Granny?	0:52:01	0:52:03
-N-Not yet. -Who is it for then?	0:52:03	0:52:06
-A f-f... -A fish? Frenchman? Phone operator? -F-Friend.	0:52:06	0:52:11
A four-legged one? Oh!	0:52:11	0:52:14
-Where's my sister? -In the b-b... -Thank you.	0:52:14	0:52:18
..lavatory.	0:52:18	0:52:19
Wanda!	0:52:19	0:52:21
-QUIETLY: -Anything? -What? ..No!	0:52:21	0:52:25
-SHOUTING: -Why are you here? -I'm bored!	0:52:25	0:52:29
Bored wandering around this awful city shoving George's ugly pict...	0:52:29	0:52:34
Talking to snotty, stuck-up British faggots. Jesus, they're uptight!	0:52:34	0:52:40
They get rigor mortis in the prime of life! Standing with their hair clenched...	0:52:40	0:52:46
..waiting for the weekend so they can dress as ballerinas...	0:52:48	0:52:52
"The flat at four. 2B..."? To be, or not to be...honest, I hate them!	0:52:56	0:53:03
I mean, pretending they're so fucking lawyer...so fucking superior with those phoney accents!	0:53:03	0:53:10
You've a beautiful voice, Ken.	0:53:10	0:53:13
When it works!	0:53:13	0:53:15
Son of a bitch!	0:53:15	0:53:18
-LOUDLY: -So, want to have some lunch?	0:53:22	0:53:25
-Heard from him? -Who? -Archie.	0:53:25	0:53:28
-I have to finish my hair! No. -Nothing?	0:53:28	0:53:32
Well, I'm off. No plans to see him?	0:53:32	0:53:35
No. ..OK, bye, Bro!	0:53:35	0:53:37
Bye, Wanda!	0:53:37	0:53:39
Sorry!	0:53:42	0:53:44
-What? -It wasn't theirs to sell.	0:53:46	0:53:49
-An old lady gave it to them to be engraved and someone put it in the show case. -That's their problem!	0:53:49	0:53:56
-This is three times the value. -This is the nicest thing you've given me,	0:53:56	0:54:02
and you want to replace it with something which is awfully vulgar! No!	0:54:02	0:54:09
-WENDY! -NO!	0:54:09	0:54:11
Tell them they can't have it! You're the barrister!	0:54:11	0:54:15
-Hello. -Hello.	0:54:46	0:54:48
Oh, Archie, it's beautiful.	0:54:50	0:54:53
It's just BEAUTIFUL!	0:54:53	0:54:56
Oh, my God, look!	0:54:57	0:55:00
Oh, Archie, it's beautiful!	0:55:01	0:55:03
Isn't it wonderful?	0:55:03	0:55:06
-Whose is it? -It belongs to someone at the chambers. -Where are they?	0:55:06	0:55:11
-Hong Kong. -Ah, so! -Gone for weeks.	0:55:11	0:55:15
Nice rug, Archie!	0:55:15	0:55:17
May I?	0:55:19	0:55:21
Archie, what are you doing?	0:55:22	0:55:25
The polka, I think!	0:55:25	0:55:28
You make me feel FREE!	0:55:30	0:55:33
Free?	0:55:33	0:55:34
Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct and so stifled	0:55:34	0:55:43
by this dread of doing the wrong thing?	0:55:43	0:55:46
Saying, "Are you married?" only to hear, "My wife has just left me."	0:55:46	0:55:51
Or "Any children?" answered by "They burned to death on Wednesday."	0:55:51	0:55:57
You see, we're all terrified of embarrassment,	0:55:57	0:56:01
that's why we're so...dead. Most of my friends are dead, you know.	0:56:01	0:56:07
We have these piles of corpses to dinner. But you're alive.	0:56:07	0:56:12
-God bless you. And -I -want to be. I'm so fed up with all this...	0:56:12	0:56:17
I want to make love with you, Wanda.	0:56:17	0:56:20
I'm a good lover. At least, used to be, back in the early 14th century.	0:56:20	0:56:25
Can we go to bed?	0:56:25	0:56:28
Yeah.	0:56:34	0:56:35
Hang on! Mind your head!	0:56:36	0:56:39
Aaagh!	0:56:43	0:56:45
-I think I love you, Wanda! -Oh, Archie!	0:56:46	0:56:50
-Can I ask you a question? -Anything.	0:56:50	0:56:54
Where's my locket?	0:56:54	0:56:56
-I couldn't get it. -What?! -Wendy wouldn't give it back.	0:56:56	0:57:01
I got you this instead.	0:57:01	0:57:04
No! I have to have mine!	0:57:04	0:57:07
What's the ma...? Why?	0:57:07	0:57:10
My mother gave it to me.	0:57:11	0:57:14
On her...	0:57:14	0:57:16
..death bed!	0:57:16	0:57:18
-Oh, I'm sorry. All right, darling, I'll get it for you. -You promise?	0:57:19	0:57:24
-I'll think of something. -Sex is very difficult for me with someone that I don't trust completely.	0:57:24	0:57:32
I promise I'll get it, OK?	0:57:32	0:57:34
Oh, I love you, Archie!	0:57:34	0:57:37
I've loved you ever since the first second I saw you!	0:57:39	0:57:43
KNOCK	0:57:43	0:57:44
-What was that? -What?	0:57:44	0:57:47
-Your brother didn't bring you here, did he? -No.	0:57:48	0:57:52
He has no idea?	0:57:52	0:57:54
-He doesn't have a clue. -What?	0:57:54	0:57:57
He is so dumb. He thought the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived!	0:57:58	0:58:05
All those terrible lies he told about the CIA!	0:58:08	0:58:12
When he heard your daughter's name was Portia,	0:58:12	0:58:16
he said, "Why did they name her after a car?"	0:58:16	0:58:20
-I love the way you laugh! -I love you, you're funny.	0:58:24	0:58:28
How come a girl as bright as you has a brother who's so...	0:58:30	0:58:34
Don't call me stupid!	0:58:34	0:58:37
Jesus Christ!	0:58:38	0:58:40
Come on!	0:58:43	0:58:45
Otto!	0:58:48	0:58:49
Ouch!	0:58:49	0:58:51
I'll deal with you later!	0:58:51	0:58:53
-What have you done with her? -She's all right!	0:58:53	0:58:57
Now, apologise!	0:58:57	0:59:00
What?	0:59:00	0:59:02
Apologise!	0:59:02	0:59:03
-WANDA SHOUTS: -Oh, shit! -Are you totally deranged?	0:59:03	0:59:08
You pompous...	0:59:12	0:59:15
..stuck-up, snot-nosed, English...	0:59:15	0:59:18
..giant twerp scumbag...	0:59:18	0:59:20
..fuck-face dickhead...	0:59:20	0:59:22
-..asshole! -How very interesting.	0:59:22	0:59:26
-You're a true vulgarian. -You're the vulgarian, you fuck. Apologise!	0:59:26	0:59:31
Me to you?	0:59:32	0:59:34
Apologise!	0:59:39	0:59:41
-I apologise. -You're really sorry? -I'm really, really sorry.	0:59:41	0:59:46
-You take it back? -I do. I offer a complete retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact,	0:59:49	0:59:57
and was in no way fair comment.	0:59:57	1:00:00
I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you.	1:00:00	1:00:06
I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander in the future.	1:00:06	1:00:12
OK.	1:00:13	1:00:15
Aaagh!	1:01:04	1:01:06
BELL TOLLS... CHOIRBOYS SING "MISERERE DOMINE"	1:01:15	1:01:20
-You said you loved him! -That's right, Otto.	1:01:29	1:01:33
Here's a multiple choice question for you. A: Wanda was lying! B: Wanda was telling the truth!	1:01:33	1:01:40
-Pick one! -The first one? You said you weren't seeing him! -I knew you'd fuck it up!	1:01:40	1:01:46
I'm setting up a guy who will tell me where the loot is and if they're going to arrest you,	1:01:46	1:01:53
and you lope in like Rambo without a jock strap, and dangle him out of a window! Was that smart?	1:01:53	1:02:00
Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics or was it stupid?	1:02:00	1:02:05
Don't call me stupid.	1:02:05	1:02:08
Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people!	1:02:08	1:02:12
Sheep could outwit you! I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you're an intellectual, aren't you, ape?	1:02:12	1:02:20
Apes don't read philosophy!	1:02:20	1:02:23
They do. They just don't understand it!	1:02:23	1:02:26
Let me correct you on a couple of things. Aristotle was not Belgian.	1:02:26	1:02:32
The central message of Buddhism is not every man for himself.	1:02:32	1:02:37
And the London Underground is not a political movement! Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.	1:02:37	1:02:44
You've just assaulted the man who can keep you out of jail and make you rich.	1:02:44	1:02:51
What are you going to do about it? What would an intellectual do? What would Plato do?	1:02:51	1:02:58
-MUMBLES: -Apologise. -Pardon me?	1:02:59	1:03:02
-Apologise. -What?	1:03:02	1:03:04
-APOLOGISE! -RIGHT!	1:03:04	1:03:07
I'm sorry.	1:03:09	1:03:11
No, not to me. To Archie.	1:03:12	1:03:15
And make it good or we're dead.	1:03:15	1:03:18
Oh, I'm so very, very, very...	1:03:24	1:03:27
FUCK YOU!	1:03:27	1:03:30
I'm so....	1:03:31	1:03:33
I'm very, very... I'm so...	1:03:33	1:03:36
I'm very, very, very...	1:03:36	1:03:39
Very, very...	1:03:54	1:03:56
SMASHING GLASS	1:03:56	1:03:59
-THUD! -Ooh! Help!	1:05:05	1:05:08
Hello, Mr Burglar! Going somewhere?	1:05:08	1:05:11
Thought you could rob Mr Leach, eh? Well, he's a good friend of mine!	1:05:11	1:05:16
-Otto! -He'll be pleased with me when he... -Otto!	1:05:16	1:05:21
..finds you tied up and ready for the police!	1:05:21	1:05:25
And don't call me Otto. To you, I am Mr...	1:05:26	1:05:31
Aaagh!	1:05:37	1:05:39
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.	1:05:42	1:05:45
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.	1:05:45	1:05:48
I'm sorry!	1:05:48	1:05:50
I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you!	1:05:50	1:05:53
How could I know it was you?	1:05:53	1:05:56
How could I guess? Stupid jerk!	1:05:56	1:05:59
I mean, what the fuck are you doing robbing your own house, you asshole?	1:05:59	1:06:05
You stupid, pompous, English...	1:06:05	1:06:08
Aaagh! I'm sorry!	1:06:08	1:06:10
I'm sorry!	1:06:10	1:06:13
Er...	1:06:13	1:06:14
Er... Yeah!	1:06:14	1:06:16
DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS	1:06:29	1:06:32
WENDY SCREAMS	1:06:49	1:06:51
Bloody hell!	1:06:59	1:07:01
SHE RUNS DOWN THE STAIRS	1:07:01	1:07:03
Darling!	1:07:07	1:07:08
Are you hurt?	1:07:08	1:07:11
-Speak to me! -Mmm. -Are you hurt?	1:07:11	1:07:14
Can't you speak?	1:07:14	1:07:16
Archie, what has happened?	1:07:16	1:07:19
HE COUGHS	1:07:19	1:07:21
-We've been burgled. -Oh, no! -Well, are you hurt?	1:07:21	1:07:26
I'm fine. A bit of a headache.	1:07:26	1:07:29
I came in here, somebody hit me... Is that the time?	1:07:29	1:07:34
What?	1:07:34	1:07:35
-I didn't know it was so late. -What?	1:07:35	1:07:38
-I'm late for a conference. -You've just been attacked! -I must fly!	1:07:38	1:07:43
-Archie! -I'll help you tidy up later! Hello, Portia! -What's happened?	1:07:43	1:07:48
Your father has finally gone completely mental.	1:07:48	1:07:52
Hi.	1:08:15	1:08:17
-Thank you so much. -Champagne? -OK.	1:08:32	1:08:35
-To us. -To us.	1:08:57	1:08:59
-I went to the house and guess who... -SMASHES GLASS	1:09:01	1:09:05
-Let's make love! -Well, if you absolutely insist.	1:09:05	1:09:10
-No. -What? -Here.	1:09:10	1:09:13
On the rug.	1:09:13	1:09:15
I'll be right back. Get undressed.	1:09:15	1:09:18
Why not? Why not indeed?	1:09:20	1:09:23
-Afterwards... -Yeah?	1:09:26	1:09:28
Let's go to South America.	1:09:28	1:09:31
-What? -Let's fly to South America. -Why South America?	1:09:31	1:09:35
OK, Iceland.	1:09:35	1:09:38
What do you really want out of life, Wanda?	1:09:38	1:09:42
I don't know.	1:09:42	1:09:44
Why do I like you so much?	1:09:44	1:09:47
-Archie... -Hmm? -Do you speak Italian?	1:09:47	1:09:51
I am Italian! Sono italiano in spirito.	1:09:51	1:09:55
Ho sposato una donna che preferisce lavorare in giardino	1:09:55	1:10:00
a far l'amore passionato!	1:10:00	1:10:04
It's such an ugly language! How about Russian?	1:10:04	1:10:08
HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN	1:10:08	1:10:11
THUD	1:10:11	1:10:13
RUSSIAN CONTINUES	1:10:13	1:10:16
-Archie? -Yeah?	1:10:34	1:10:36
-Are you rich? -No, I'm afraid not.	1:10:36	1:10:39
-What about the house? -That's Wendy's, she's the rich one.	1:10:39	1:10:44
Oh.	1:10:44	1:10:46
HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN	1:10:50	1:10:53
-What the hell are you doing? -I might ask you the same!	1:11:26	1:11:30
-Who are you? -What? -Get your clothes on!	1:11:30	1:11:34
-Please leave immediately! -What?	1:11:34	1:11:37
You're in the wrong flat!	1:11:37	1:11:40
-This flat belongs to Patrick Balfour. He lent me the key. -We leased it from the agents last week.	1:11:40	1:11:47
Well, obviously that changes things a bit.	1:11:52	1:11:56
Aren't you Archie Leach?	1:11:56	1:11:59
-What? -You bought our house in Lissenden Gardens.	1:12:01	1:12:05
Hazel and Ian Johnson.	1:12:05	1:12:08
What a coincidence!	1:12:10	1:12:13
How nice to see you!	1:12:13	1:12:15
HE DIALS	1:12:34	1:12:36
PHONE RINGS	1:12:37	1:12:40
Hello?	1:12:44	1:12:45
'Hello, Wanda. It's Archie. Listen...'	1:12:45	1:12:49
..I can't see you any more. I'm sorry.	1:12:49	1:12:52
What?	1:12:52	1:12:54
-'I'm sorry.' -HE HANGS UP	1:12:55	1:12:58
Archie?	1:12:58	1:13:00
Er...	1:13:28	1:13:30
-OK... -Oh, no!	1:13:31	1:13:33
-Please! -Look, I want to apologise. -I just finished it, all right?	1:13:33	1:13:38
-Wait! I want to speak with you. -Leave me alone!	1:13:38	1:13:43
-Wait! I just want to say I'm sorry! -It's all over, OK?	1:13:43	1:13:48
-Jesus Christ! -Will you calm down? -Help!	1:13:48	1:13:52
-Please don't beat me up again. -Listen! -I've had a terrible day!	1:13:52	1:13:58
-Will you shut up?! -Don't kill me!	1:13:58	1:14:01
Shut up then!	1:14:01	1:14:03
OK, look... I just want to apologise...	1:14:03	1:14:08
-ARCHIE WHIMPERS -..for dangling you out the window.	1:14:08	1:14:13
It wasn't a nice thing to do.	1:14:13	1:14:15
And when I attacked you in there... I didn't know you were robbing your own house. I was trying to help!	1:14:15	1:14:23
Yes, thanks, Otto.	1:14:23	1:14:26
-I wanted you to trust me. -Yes, it was my fault. -That's true.	1:14:26	1:14:31
About my sister. She's a very sexy girl. I understand you wanting to play around with her.	1:14:31	1:14:38
-Otto... -It's OK. I was wrong.	1:14:38	1:14:41
I was jealous. Go ahead. Pork away, pal.	1:14:41	1:14:44
Fuck her blue.	1:14:44	1:14:47
I like you, Archie. I just want to help.	1:14:47	1:14:50
Oh, God!	1:15:53	1:15:55
Killed her!	1:16:52	1:16:54
I did it!	1:16:57	1:16:59
Did it! Nothing!	1:16:59	1:17:01
Unbe-fucking-lievable!	1:17:01	1:17:04
Thomason! Yeah?	1:17:04	1:17:07
Yes.	1:17:07	1:17:08
You done well, my son!	1:17:09	1:17:12
Now, here's the plan.	1:17:12	1:17:15
Get four tickets for this evening for Rio. First class.	1:17:15	1:17:19
F-F...? Yeah, four. We'll get rid of Otto later.	1:17:19	1:17:24
Back to the flat, pack, collect me and then to the hotel for the jewels.	1:17:24	1:17:30
Unbe-fucking-lievable!	1:17:33	1:17:36
Oi! Oi!	1:17:36	1:17:39
I can't believe it!	1:17:42	1:17:45
He's safe!	1:17:45	1:17:47
-PHONE RINGS -I'll be late for court!	1:17:47	1:17:51
H-Hello? Hello, Otto.	1:17:51	1:17:53
No, she just, er, left.	1:17:56	1:17:58
Oh, Otto...	1:17:58	1:18:01
..you owe me a p-p...	1:18:01	1:18:03
What?	1:18:04	1:18:06
You owe me a pound!	1:18:07	1:18:10
Not Granny!	1:18:10	1:18:12
M-Met with an accident!	1:18:14	1:18:17
Bullshit! You're lying!	1:18:17	1:18:19
Dead?	1:18:21	1:18:22
Heart attack.	1:18:22	1:18:24
I don't believe this.	1:18:28	1:18:30
G-George will be out this afternoon. We go to Heathrow, get the loot,	1:18:30	1:18:36
and...VROOM!	1:18:36	1:18:39
All thanks...to...	1:18:39	1:18:42
..me!	1:18:42	1:18:44
The loot's at the airport, is it?	1:18:44	1:18:47
W-What's h-happening?	1:18:56	1:18:58
Well, Ken, I'm going to ask you questions while I eat my chips.	1:19:00	1:19:06
First, who is the philosopher	1:19:06	1:19:09
who developed the concept of the superman in Also Sprach Zarathustra?	1:19:09	1:19:14
No? A chip up the nose, I'm afraid!	1:19:16	1:19:19
Friedrich Nietzsche! Next!	1:19:22	1:19:24
In which book did Nietzsche claim that almost all higher culture is based on cruelty?	1:19:24	1:19:31
Are you thinking or in mid-stutter?	1:19:31	1:19:34
You're m-mad!	1:19:34	1:19:37
Beyond Good And Evil!	1:19:37	1:19:40
I'll have to ask you an easy one.	1:19:40	1:19:43
OK... Um...	1:19:43	1:19:46
Let me think.	1:19:46	1:19:48
Where are the diamonds? I'll give you a clue.	1:19:48	1:19:52
Somewhere around the airport!	1:19:52	1:19:55
-I'm n-n... -No hassle. There's plenty of time, Ken.	1:19:55	1:20:00
I'll just sit here and eat my chips till you tell me.	1:20:00	1:20:04
The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip!	1:20:06	1:20:10
What do the English usually eat with chips	1:20:10	1:20:14
to make them more interesting?	1:20:14	1:20:17
Wait a moment!	1:20:17	1:20:19
It's fish, isn't it?	1:20:19	1:20:23
Down the hatch!	1:20:28	1:20:30
Oh!	1:20:31	1:20:33
Delicious!	1:20:33	1:20:36
You b-b...	1:20:36	1:20:38
..Better eat the green one? OK. What's his name?	1:20:38	1:20:43
Not Wanda, anyway. I'll call her Lunch.	1:20:43	1:20:47
Hello, Lunch!	1:20:47	1:20:49
Ugh! Avoid the green ones! They're not ripe yet!	1:20:53	1:20:59
Ha, ha, ha, ha!	1:20:59	1:21:01
-You were in court, Inspector, when the forensic evidence was read. -Yes.	1:21:01	1:21:06
Mr Thomason was installing windows.	1:21:06	1:21:09
That accounts for the particles of glass on his trousers.	1:21:13	1:21:17
No hurry, Inspector - please do take your time.	1:21:20	1:21:24
I'm almost full.	1:21:30	1:21:32
-Almost! -Stop!	1:21:33	1:21:35
Please...don't!	1:21:35	1:21:38
Come on, Wanda! Gullet time!	1:21:38	1:21:41
Which hotels are near the airport?	1:21:43	1:21:46
The Airway Sheraton? The Post House? The Cathcart Towers?	1:21:46	1:21:51
The Cathcart Towers? Yes?	1:21:51	1:21:53
Mmm?	1:21:56	1:21:57
-Yes! -In a safe deposit box? -Yes!	1:21:57	1:22:01
Where's the key?	1:22:03	1:22:05
In t-the t-tank.	1:22:05	1:22:08
Where?	1:22:09	1:22:11
-In the ch-ch... -In the chest?	1:22:11	1:22:14
Where?	1:22:19	1:22:21
Where?	1:22:21	1:22:23
You...	1:22:26	1:22:27
..m-murdering...!	1:22:27	1:22:29
I'll k-kill...	1:22:29	1:22:32
..I'll kill you!	1:22:32	1:22:34
Sorry, Ken, but your answer was incorrect.	1:22:37	1:22:41
You really did think it was in there, didn't you?	1:22:41	1:22:44
What?	1:22:46	1:22:48
Oh!	1:22:48	1:22:49
-Hello? -I know where the diamonds are. -Where? -Where's the key?	1:22:57	1:23:03
-I've got it. -How soon can you get to George's apartment?	1:23:06	1:23:11
Are you Wanda Gershwitz	1:23:11	1:23:14
-of Kipling Mansions, Murray Road, London W9? -Yes.	1:23:14	1:23:20
-How do you know the defendant? -We've had a relationship for two years.	1:23:20	1:23:26
"Relationship?"	1:23:26	1:23:29
We're lovers, Your Lord.	1:23:29	1:23:32
Miss Gershwitz, on 4 March of this year in the morning, where were you?	1:23:34	1:23:39
I was at the apartment at Murray Road.	1:23:39	1:23:42
-Were you alone or with someone else? -Someone else was there.	1:23:42	1:23:48
-Who was that? -My brother.	1:23:48	1:23:51
Did your...	1:23:51	1:23:53
Your brother?	1:23:54	1:23:56
My brother.	1:23:59	1:24:01
Yes.	1:24:02	1:24:03
Yes...	1:24:04	1:24:06
And are you quite sure it was your brother?	1:24:06	1:24:10
Miss Gershwitz would recognise her brother. She's had a relationship with him all her life.	1:24:10	1:24:18
Much obliged, My Lord.	1:24:18	1:24:21
-Was there anyone else present that morning? -Yes, George was there.	1:24:21	1:24:26
-He left about five to seven. -Wanda!	1:24:26	1:24:29
I WONDER... I wonder...?	1:24:30	1:24:34
I wonder...	1:24:36	1:24:38
Yes, Mr Leach?	1:24:46	1:24:48
I Wendy... I wonder...	1:24:48	1:24:51
W-When...	1:24:51	1:24:52
When you say five to seven, Miss, er, Gershwitz,	1:24:52	1:24:57
how can you be so sure?	1:24:57	1:25:00
I looked at the clock and I thought where can he be going at 6.55 with that sawn-off shotgun?	1:25:00	1:25:07
Darling!	1:25:07	1:25:09
Mr Leach...	1:25:09	1:25:10
-"Darling"? -Yes, dear?	1:25:10	1:25:13
Bitch! You fucking bitch!	1:25:13	1:25:15
WANDA SCREAMS	1:25:15	1:25:17
JUDGE: Restrain that man!	1:25:18	1:25:21
Restrain this man!	1:25:27	1:25:29
I'm adjourning this case for an hour!	1:25:29	1:25:32
Clear the court!	1:25:32	1:25:34
Clear the court! Clear the court!	1:25:45	1:25:48
Clear the court! Clear the court!	1:25:55	1:25:59
Bloody hell!	1:26:07	1:26:10
It's my husband, he's been hit!	1:26:10	1:26:13
A bit of a knock, I'm afraid.	1:26:13	1:26:16
I have never been so humiliated in my life!	1:26:17	1:26:21
You can stick this marriage right in your bottom! See you in court!	1:26:21	1:26:26
Yes.	1:26:36	1:26:37
Well...	1:26:39	1:26:40
..that's it then.	1:26:40	1:26:43
-George. -What? -We've got to talk.	1:26:45	1:26:48
You tell those pigs to fuck off!	1:26:48	1:26:51
Fuck off, pigs!	1:26:51	1:26:54
Did you hear what I said?	1:26:55	1:26:57
Fuck...off!	1:26:57	1:26:59
-What's she up to, George? -What are you up to?	1:27:02	1:27:06
You called her darling!	1:27:06	1:27:09
And Wanda!	1:27:09	1:27:11
-I was helping her get her evidence straight. -You been coaching her?	1:27:11	1:27:16
What do you think? They'll find you guilty.	1:27:16	1:27:20
Tell them where the loot is and you may get eight years, out in five.	1:27:20	1:27:26
What if I tell them about Otto and Wanda?	1:27:26	1:27:29
-They both did it? -Yeah. -Great! Maybe six years, out in four?	1:27:29	1:27:34
So where are the diamonds?	1:27:34	1:27:37
-Where's Bartlett? -He's trying to calm things down. Where are they?	1:27:37	1:27:42
Tell Bart that Ken knows where they are.	1:27:42	1:27:46
George, it would be a lot quicker if you told me.	1:27:46	1:27:50
OK, I'll tell Bartlett.	1:27:52	1:27:54
-Where's Ken? -He's at the flat.	1:27:54	1:27:57
WAILING >	1:28:00	1:28:03
-SOBS: -I'll be right out.	1:28:03	1:28:06
Taxi! Taxi! Shit!	1:28:20	1:28:22
-Taxi! -Come on!	1:28:22	1:28:25
-What? -Let's go! -Where? -Buenos Aires.	1:28:25	1:28:28
-What? -We're going to George's flat first. Get in!	1:28:28	1:28:33
-Got your passport? -Yeah. -Check the briefcase for mine. Get down.	1:28:36	1:28:41
You did the robbery, shopped one lover,	1:28:47	1:28:51
-kept the other to find the diamonds, and when he does, you turn him in. -Everyone does it in America!	1:28:51	1:28:58
-They don't here! -No-one lies in England, not even Thatcher(!)	1:28:58	1:29:03
-You lied to me! -You just wanted to get me into bed! -I fell in love with you!	1:29:03	1:29:09
How come you dumped me then?	1:29:14	1:29:16
I wasn't rich enough, remember?	1:29:16	1:29:19
-Say something in Russian? -No!	1:29:29	1:29:32
-What are you thinking, Archie? -Why I should take you to South America with me.	1:29:37	1:29:44
How about because I have the key to the safety deposit box?	1:29:44	1:29:49
That's a good reason!	1:29:49	1:29:52
-What about Otto? -I'll handle Otto. -He's dangerous.	1:29:55	1:30:00
So am I.	1:30:00	1:30:02
Keep it running.	1:30:02	1:30:04
-Why did you bring him? -Otto, just wait!	1:30:05	1:30:09
-I think you like that... -Wait! -Let's get the diamonds.	1:30:09	1:30:13
Ken? Are you Ken?	1:30:13	1:30:16
How do you do? I'm George's barrister.	1:30:18	1:30:22
CRUNCH AS CARS COLLIDE	1:30:22	1:30:25
Asshole!	1:30:25	1:30:27
GUNSHOT	1:30:27	1:30:29
Archie!	1:30:32	1:30:34
Where have they gone?	1:30:34	1:30:37
Quick! Where have they gone?	1:30:37	1:30:40
-They've g-gone... -What?	1:30:40	1:30:43
-KEN GASPS -Are you all right?	1:30:43	1:30:46
-They've gone to the Cath... Cath... -Are you ill?	1:30:46	1:30:50
-I've g-go... Cath... -Have you got a stutter?	1:30:50	1:30:55
-Y-Yeah... A bit. -OK, don't worry.	1:30:55	1:30:58
-Do you know where they've gone? -Yes. -Fine. Where?	1:30:58	1:31:03
The Cath... Hotel.	1:31:04	1:31:07
Hotel?	1:31:07	1:31:08
Which hotel?	1:31:08	1:31:10
The Cath...	1:31:10	1:31:13
The Cath... The Cath...	1:31:13	1:31:15
Go on.	1:31:15	1:31:17
The Cath...	1:31:17	1:31:19
Wait, wait!	1:31:19	1:31:21
Slowly. Very slowly.	1:31:21	1:31:24
The Cath...	1:31:27	1:31:30
The Cath...	1:31:30	1:31:32
The Cath... The Cath...	1:31:32	1:31:35
No hurry.	1:31:35	1:31:37
-Sing it! -STRANGLED CRY # The Cath...!	1:31:37	1:31:42
# The Cath...! The Cath...! #	1:31:42	1:31:46
Plenty of time.	1:31:47	1:31:50
The Cath...	1:31:50	1:31:52
The Cath...	1:31:52	1:31:54
OH, COME ON! I'm sorry.	1:31:54	1:31:57
Wait.	1:31:58	1:31:59
The Cath...	1:31:59	1:32:02
Write it!	1:32:03	1:32:05
-The Cathcart Towers Hotel? -The Cathcart Towers Hotel.	1:32:15	1:32:19
Where is it? Ken, where is it?	1:32:19	1:32:23
Where?	1:32:23	1:32:24
Hea... Hea...	1:32:24	1:32:27
Again!	1:32:27	1:32:28
Heathrow Airport.	1:32:34	1:32:37
MAN: Hey! What's the idea?!	1:32:47	1:32:50
-You can't stay here! -Take it. It's yours!	1:32:50	1:32:54
Thank you. British Airways to Rio?	1:33:00	1:33:03
-Terminal 4, sir. -Thank you.	1:33:03	1:33:06
-Is this your vehicle, sir? -I'll be right back.	1:33:13	1:33:17
-Aisle, window? Smoking, non-smoking? -What was the middle one? -Anything in non-smoking is fine. -Gate 14.	1:33:18	1:33:26
Rio!	1:33:48	1:33:50
There's a cop behind us. Quick!	1:33:51	1:33:54
-We can just do it, Mr Leach. -Great!	1:33:59	1:34:02
Luggage?	1:34:02	1:34:04
-I don't really need any. -Gate 14.	1:34:07	1:34:10
Ciao, stupidissimo!	1:34:12	1:34:14
Ow! Aaah!	1:34:21	1:34:23
GUNSHOTS	1:34:33	1:34:36
Come on, Archie. Pick up the phone!	1:34:42	1:34:45
-ENGLISH ACCENT: -Sir! Airport Security. May I see your boarding pass? -Certainly.	1:34:53	1:35:00
-Please step over here. Look, the Queen! -Where?	1:35:00	1:35:04
Hup!	1:35:09	1:35:10
OK, don't get excited!	1:35:10	1:35:13
It's you! I was actually worried for a minute!	1:35:14	1:35:18
-Hands up! -No! -Up!	1:35:18	1:35:21
-I'll make a deal with you. I'll put one up. -Put the other one up!	1:35:21	1:35:26
Which looks better?	1:35:26	1:35:29
-I'm warning you, Otto. -What are you going to do, Archie? Shoot me?	1:35:29	1:35:34
Gun me down? If you want to settle something with me, then fight me!	1:35:34	1:35:40
-You're a man, aren't you? Let's fight like men! -All right.	1:35:40	1:35:45
-All right, then. -OK.	1:35:45	1:35:48
OK.	1:35:48	1:35:49
-You look good, Arch. -I used to box for Oxford.	1:35:49	1:35:53
Yeah? I used to kill for the CIA. Get your hands up.	1:35:53	1:35:58
No.	1:35:58	1:35:59
You spineless bimbo!	1:36:02	1:36:05
Now, out!	1:36:05	1:36:07
I'll have to shoot you, but I've some time before my plane leaves	1:36:10	1:36:15
and I'm longing to humiliate you.	1:36:15	1:36:18
Get in that barrel.	1:36:18	1:36:21
-What? -In the barrel!	1:36:21	1:36:24
Right!	1:36:28	1:36:29
You English think you're so superior!	1:36:32	1:36:35
You're the filth of the planet!	1:36:35	1:36:38
A bunch of pompous, poverty-stricken,	1:36:38	1:36:42
sexually-repressed football hooligans!	1:36:42	1:36:45
Goodbye!	1:36:47	1:36:49
-At least we're not irretrievably vulgar! -You don't like winners!	1:36:49	1:36:54
-Winners? -Yeah, winners.	1:36:54	1:36:56
Winners like North Vietnam?	1:36:56	1:36:59
Shut up! We did not lose Vietnam. It was a tie!	1:36:59	1:37:03
-AMERICAN ACCENT: -I'm telling you, they kicked a little ass there! They whipped your hide real good!	1:37:03	1:37:11
-They didn't. -They did. -They didn't. -Oh, yes, they did!	1:37:11	1:37:16
Oh, no, they... Shut up!	1:37:16	1:37:19
-Goodbye, Archie. -Going to shoot me?	1:37:19	1:37:22
-ENGLISH ACCENT: -'Fraid so, old chap! Sorry!	1:37:22	1:37:25
Look!	1:37:25	1:37:27
Revenge!	1:37:34	1:37:36
It's K-Ken coming to k-kill me!	1:37:40	1:37:43
How are you going to c-catch me, K-Ken?	1:37:44	1:37:48
Now where was I? Oh, yeah.	1:37:49	1:37:52
Shit!	1:37:54	1:37:55
Stupid fucking limey cement!	1:37:57	1:38:00
Ken! Ken! Wait, wait, Ken!	1:38:08	1:38:11
Kenny! May I call you Kenny?	1:38:11	1:38:13
-Revenge for Wanda! -50-50. What do you say?	1:38:13	1:38:18
OK, 60-40!	1:38:18	1:38:20
-That's my final offer! -Revenge!	1:38:20	1:38:23
I've got an idea. You take it all. Here's my boarding pass! Ken!	1:38:23	1:38:28
I'm going to k-kill you!	1:38:28	1:38:31
OK, fine. Give me your best shot.	1:38:31	1:38:34
You don't have the guts. Admit it!	1:38:34	1:38:37
OK, you have the guts. Good. Wait!	1:38:39	1:38:42
Death!	1:38:42	1:38:44
All right. I'm sorry I ate your fish, OK?	1:38:44	1:38:48
Revenge!	1:38:48	1:38:49
Jesus! I said I'm sorry. What the...	1:38:49	1:38:53
Got him!	1:38:56	1:38:59
Got you, Ken. You bastard!	1:39:08	1:39:11
Hey! I've lost my stutter!	1:39:11	1:39:14
It's gone!	1:39:14	1:39:16
I can speak! How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?	1:39:16	1:39:23
Boarding pass, sir.	1:39:24	1:39:27
SHE SIGHS	1:39:27	1:39:29
Buongiorno, signorina.	1:39:33	1:39:35
Now listen. Two things. One - behave yourself from now on or I'll break your neck, OK?	1:39:43	1:39:50
Two...	1:39:50	1:39:52
Gorbachev, Glasnost...	1:39:54	1:39:57
Molotov!	1:39:57	1:39:59
Blinis...	1:39:59	1:40:01
Er, Lenin.	1:40:01	1:40:03
-OTTO MOUTHS -Pushkin. -Chicken Kiev.	1:40:04	1:40:07
Good. Dostoyevsky.	1:40:07	1:40:10
-Roubles. -PLANE ENGINE ROARS	1:40:11	1:40:14
Ass-h-o-l-e!	1:40:20	1:40:22
Subtitles by Caroline Neale - 1991	1:41:28	1:41:32

A Fish Called Wanda

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