Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo

Destination, monsieur?

Monte Carlo.

Uh... Rue...

Uh... Boiserie a Rue Du Bec...

-Uh...droit - Place De Ay-een...

-Give it to me in English!

Sure! We're lost.

-Thanks. ..Hey! Herbie!

-What's he doing?

He's getting us unlost.

Hi, there! Say, we're looking for the Trans France Race Exposition.

Straight ahead on your right. That'll be some race!

-You're looking at the winner right here.

-This car?!

-He didn't.

-He did.

All of this for the museum payroll?

The most magnificent diamond in the world - L'Etoile De Joie!

Could we have a little peek?

On this very afternoon, at one o'clock precisely,

you and all of Paris will be able to take the peek!

Fresh from triumph in the European racing circuit - Bruno Von Stickle,

who'll be driving his Laser 9-17 GT coupe.

Here we have a magnificent Pente A. I see the American entry is just arriving - Mr Jim Douglas!

LAUGHTER

Mr Douglas will be driving a-a-a...

Mr Douglas will be driving a most unusual entry.

Something funny must have happened.

Uh-huh - us.

How about giving Jim Douglas and his partner Wheely Applegate a nice warm welcome!

CHEERING

This little car is the toast of America. When was your last win?

Er...12 years ago.

-That was only because that was our last race.

-Yeah.

This race, we're staging a comeback here so it's very important to us.

I-I mean, we won't be coming back very far unless we qualify.

Qualify?! Are you kidding?

Don't let his modesty or this car coming out of retirement fool you.

There isn't a finer-tuned, cleaner engine anywhere.

It should be easy to keep clean.

All you have to do is drop it in the washing machine along with your socks.

Appreciate the humour. Don't worry about this washing machine...car.

It's a real jewel!

But Monsieur Ribeaux, isn't it too much responsibility for one man?

One man?! One man AND the finest security system that can be devised.

All in the computer.

This alone would keep the diamond safe from the grasp of a thief.

Monsieur...one need only reach in...

ALARM BELLS RING

ALARM STOPS

The pillow is sensitive to the heat of the hand.

I'm sorry, monsieur.

What does that do, monsieur?

I'm engaging a system of electric beams that surrounds the pedestal.

One last precaution, gentlemen. Please step out of the room.

Now the entire floor is a trap.

The ashes from a cigar would activate the alarm.

Right on schedule. Only ten steps to 6 million.

But one step to Devil's Island if anything touches that floor.

Monsieur Ribeaux, you forgot to give me the computer and the numbers.

I did not forget. They were put in my trust and will remain with me.

One does not part with the only copy in existence.

Patience, Quincey.

This notebook is our passport to the future.

Thanks. I'd sooner put my trust in this rope.

The man has it all worked out for us. We must use it.

-You had to bring the whole kit(!)

-Just checking for the radar beam.

It's there. ..Now it isn't.

-Some chunk of rock, eh?

-Yes.

One could live and never set eyes on such a rock, let alone touch it.

..Patience, Quincey.

The pillow's the trap. One more set of numbers.

Why can't a man write an "O" that looks like an "O"? Or is it a "9"?

Can't take a chance.

I trust nobody. I come prepared. The old ways are still the best ways.

Six minutes till the guard checks.

Get on with it.

LOUD BEEP

BEEP STOPS

..Aren't you ever going to get that thing fixed?

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry.

-Excuse me.

-Oh.

-Oh, I just, er...

Jim.

A word to the wise.

Jim, Paris may be the land of love,

but it can also be the land of heartbreak.

I'll tell you what, I'll make a deal with you.

-I'm willing to resist the girls if you are.

-That's some sacrifice!

-I know, but I'm willing to make it.

-You're made of strong stuff, Wheely.

P-Patience, Quincey.

You tell that to the guard. He'll be here in two minutes.

Give me that!

We're coming into this right-hand sweeper, dropped him into third and jumped on it. Took three cars.

Back into fourth and we were flying.

"Taching" seven or eight thousand.

We blew off the lead car 100 yards from the finish line and won. How about that?

-Je ne comprends pas l'anglais.

-I didn't understand that.

-It's OK. He didn't understand you either.

-I

-didn't even understand you.

No more time. The guard's practically in the door.

-You want that stone, don't you?

-Yes. ..There's only one way to get it.

ALARM BELLS RING

It's not possible!

SIRENS APPROACH

'Attention! Un vol a ete perpetre au musee.

'Personne n'est permet de quitter les lieux.

'Chaque personne sera cherche.'

Attention, everyone! Attention! Nobody is to leave the area.

We still have to qualify! Come on!

..What's the trouble?

I don't know!

Ladies and gentlemen, there has been a theft at the museum.

Everyone will be searched before leaving the area.

< I repeat, nobody is to leave the area until he has been searched.

No point in us both getting caught.

No point in EITHER of us getting caught.

< I repeat, nobody is to leave the area!

I repeat, nobody is to leave the area until he has been searched.

We'll never see it again!

That little car? It'll be in a show on the Champs Elysees at 4.30pm.

Yes, yes, yes. But are you sure that all the security precautions had been taken?

I've searched my memory. Could I have forgotten something?

Inspector! Residue from a footprint.

I hear you calling out, "Fontenoy, remember no clue is too small."

Did you also hear me say, "Take it to the lab and get it analysed"?

Yes, sir and I'm doing just that.

No. I couldn't have forgotten anything.

I am as sure the security was on yesterday as I'm sure it's off today.

ALARM BELLS RING

Fontenoy!

'Attention, please, the qualifying rounds will begin in eight minutes.

'Attention, attention, tous les pilots...'

REVVING ENGINES DROWN OUT TANNOY

Douglas and Applegate.

Oh, yes, Monsieur Douglas. You're in the heat after this one.

-..Good luck.

-Thank you.

That's my heat. You'll need more than luck. You'll need wings.

Oh, yeah? Well, you may just be in for a little surprise.

I can see your YOUR surprise. It is very little.

'Attention, les pilots. Roulez vos voitures sur la piste.'

Look for an even bigger surprise when the race starts.

'There will be qualifying today and tomorrow, with the top 16 times running in the Trans France Race.'

You are not in this heat! Come back!

Say, Herbie, where are you going?

BRAKES SCREECH

-You could get us disqualified.

-And killed!

HORN PEEPS

-What?

-What was that?

-I don't know.

-WALTZ MUSIC PLAYS

-Forget the music!

MUSIC CONTINUES

He's out of his mind.

He's out if his mind, all right... over that luscious little Lancia.

What is...?

I tell you, Paris and women have got him.

I'll have to warn him the same way I did you. Like father, like car.

..What are you doing?!

-Now, wait a minute, buddy...

-What do you mean "buddy"?

-Uh...Miss Buddy.

-You...! You...!

-Jim Douglas and I'm very sorry...

You think because I'm a woman driver you can get away with anything you please.

I'm not a pigeon for your fun and games. I've had it with you clowns!

-I'm not the clown. It was Herbie.

-Oh, yes, blame your dizzy mechanic.

No, it's...

Herbie's the car, and he's kinda like a person.

-I know that sounds funny...

-Crazy is more like it.

-Well? What were you doing?

-It's hard to explain...

He doesn't want a woman in the race.

Miss Darcy, you can try to qualify again. We're sorry.

You're sorry, he's sorry, everyone's sorry, but I didn't qualify.

If you wish to qualify, Mr Douglas, you have exactly...ten minutes.

You hear that, Herbie? Forget that powder puff. Get your mind on racing.

You'd better believe it!

Gilbert!

We're going to cook that chicken European-style.

When he sticks out his neck... we will chop it off.

Uh-huh. Oui, oui. Jawohl, jawohl.

We'll see whose neck gets chopped off.

Right, Herbie?

TANNOY MAKES ANNOUNCEMENT IN FRENCH

ENGINES REV

Close your mouth, turkey. You're going to get our tyre marks right across your teeth!

Where did they go?

I got snookered. I'm rustier than I thought.

-RADIO: # Ding-dong, ding-dong... #

-Herbie, what're you doing?

-It's her.

Oh, no.

Well, it took a crowd to do it, but at least we lost the Lancia.

Yeah, not to mention the first qualifying round.

-Did you get hold of Double X?

-He wasn't very happy.

-Who is?

-Where is that stupid car?

-Patience. ..Excuse me.

-I don't seem to see the little Volkswagen.

-Ah, the Douglas car.

It will be here. Patience, my friend, patience.

If one more person says patience...

If we don't turn up with that diamond, Double X is going to mark the spot where we're buried.

..Here, don't dig our graves just yet.

Come on. Let's grab it.

-Don't tell me patience!

-In front of 100 witnesses? We need a plan.

< Attention, everyone.

We'd like to show you a film of the route the racing cars will take when they leave Paris.

< Will someone catch the lights?

I think the gentleman just gave us a plan.

< These machines will be among those testing the gruelling route through Paris, twisting through the Alps...

Back up slowly...

as if nothing was the matter.

< The cars will speed up as they race along the French countryside.

LOUD BEEP

BEEP STOPS

< ..As we approach the famous French Alps.

The car's not here, Max.

-Perhaps we're backing in the wrong direction.

-Just keep backing up.

And for someone, victory is just a step away.

-Herbie!

-You mean NO Herbie.

-..Excuse me.

HORN PEEPS

Meme, n'attend pas la(!) HE PEEPS

Alors, vous pouvez pas faire un tank!

Allez, traverse!

Faites attention!

HE PEEPS Mais...! Enfin! Elle est folle!

PEEP! PEEP!

Garcon! >

GARCON! Servez-vous votre meilleur vin rouge?

Garcon?

Excusez-moi de vous reveiller, mais je vous ai demande quelque chose.

Oui.

Et bien? Qu'est-ce qui vous prend?! Servez ce vin!

..Il est assez age comme ca.

Mais depechez-vous!

Debouchez cette bouteille!

Mais...! Enfin, faites attention!

Etes-vous coucou?

Oui...coucou.

My car! My...car! Has anybody seen my car?!

Oh, that was your car? Yes! It's gone!

Yes, it's gone. Did you see who took it?

Not exactly, mademoiselle.

-Excuse me, I hate to bother you...

-You! I should have known I'd see you.

-You and trouble go together.

-We've lost our car.

-Have you seen it by any chance?

-Who cares about your silly Volkswagen? My Lancia has been stolen.

-Stolen?

-Your car...

-..and your car?

-Yeah.

I saw them both.

Then you saw who stole them?

-You would not believe this.

-I

-would not believe this. No-one would believe this.

What?

I think they steal each other.

Come on.

Taxi!

Coucou!

..Coucou!

Coucou! Coucou!

-A needle in a haystack. How will we find them?

-Don't know. Keep looking.

-My life is riding on that car.

-Lady, I have a few things to prove myself.

-Where would you take a boyfriend in Paris?

-Don't tell me this is your cute way of making a pass.

-If I had romance in mind, would he be along?

-Right...

-It's Herbie.

-Herbie(!) I don't believe this.

Well, it's true! There's something about that car. He's got a...

We've been through a lot together.

Yeah, well, nothing like this.

Hey! Regarde!

HORNS PEEP

RADIO ON Do you think this is funny?!

Forgive me. I laugh at the radio. Two cars are riding on a bateau mouche!

Bateau mouche...

Take a left at that bridge!

Maybe I can explain this over dinner tonight.

Maybe not.

I don't know, Herbie. 12 years is a long time.

I hope we can handle it.

-Hope

-I

-can handle it.

-Well, all taken care of, Jim.

-Yeah?

I had a little talk with Herbie. Had to straighten him out.

I will not tolerate a car falling in love with another car!

-He could fall in love with a Goodyear blimp(!)

-A Goodyear blimp!

I said, "Herbie, we're here for one thing:

"to make the biggest comeback in racing history,

"so no women in training camp. Forget that little chick. It's just a matter of mind over metal."

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Are we expecting company?

-No.

Detective Fontenoy here, and THIS is the famous Inspector Bouchet.

I'm Jim Douglas. This is Wheely Applegate.

If there's a problem about our car cruising on the bateau mouche...

No, it's the 6 million diamond stolen this morning, perhaps the most beautiful diamond in the world.

Fontenoy. No?

We're questioning everyone who was in the area at the time. Perhaps you can help us.

Pushing the car won't help me get the cap off.

-It must have rolled.

-Well, pull the handbrake on.

Door's locked.

Put your hand through the window!

Let me get at it! Out of the way!

I'm going to hot-wire this car. We'll get the diamond at the garage.

Well, I'm not waiting. Car, it's either you or me!

-You're going to tell me that car drove away by itself.

-No. I'm not going to tell Double X that either.

ENGINES REV

-GEARS CRUNCH

-What's happening?

We're in last place - that's what's happening!

Darcy. Oui. Qualifying today? I hope so.

New Herbie? He's not even an old Herbie. He's not any Herbie at all.

-My lecture mustn't have worked.

-He doesn't need a lecture, he needs an old age pension.

..We didn't come out of mothballs to be the laughing stock of Europe!

Get the lead out of your pants

or I'll have you stuffed and hung on a wall in Retirement Village!

ENGINE PURRS

Now you're talking! We got the old Herbie back!

Old Herbie and new Herbie in one!

I'm telling you it's the old Herbie and he's doing it for us!

He's not doing it for us. He's doing it for her.

OK, so he did it for her.

Look at that! I never saw anything like that in my life!

You did it!

-Thank you.

-Well, SOMEBODY did it.

-It's hello comeback.

-And you broke Von Stickle's track record.

Congratulations. You have won the right to taste my dust tomorrow.

And mine, Douglas.

Today, you break my record. Tomorrow, I will turn your "hello, comeback" into "goodbye, for ever".

Auf wiedersehen.

-A couple of German school dropouts.

-Yeah.

Well, one show boat deserves another. I'll go and get him.

Amazing! I knew I had a good car under me.

The same time as the Douglas car.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you. And thanks for staying off the track.

-It's one way I can prove what I can do.

-It wasn't exactly YOU.

You don't like women in racing. Do we drive too slow...or too fast?

It's not you at all, it's your car...and MY car.

-Excuse me. I don't want to hear about your car.

-I have to tell you.

Herbie's not just a car.

I didn't believe it myself at first, but the little guy's got a...

When a car like Herbie is comes to Paris,

he meets a beautiful Lancia that's also a car like Herbie is with a...

It's natural they're going to fall in...

You're right. I wouldn't believe it either.

When the men come by from the booby hatch, go quietly.

I was trying to warn you about your car.

Let me warn you about me.

I'm in this race to win

and, frankly, I'd like to see you and your car disappear entirely.

Oh!

'Attention, les voitures a 76, 98, 70...'

Quincey.

Pull over. We want that car.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna pull over.

Hang on!

Oh...

Darkness is about to fall upon you.

MAN: Amazing!

-They're still coming!

-They're trying to kill us!

Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!

CRASH!

-I never thought she'd go that far to make us disappear.

-Who's that?

That cute, little time bomb Diane.

-She set us up to knock us out of the race.

-Wait, she didn't say that.

They never say what they mean. That's what makes females deadly.

-You read that someplace.

-I've got a mother, three sisters and two ex-wives to prove it.

-They never said they wanted me out. They just changed the lock.

-I don't take strong-arm stuff from ANYBODY.

-Somebody should teach her the rules of the game.

-She'll know them when

-I

-get through with her.

Settle back, Herbie. Once Jim gets started, NOTHING can stop him.

Who hired thugs? I'm as good as anybody on that track! I don't need anybody to win my races for me!

That is the trouble with you. You don't think a woman can do anything!

He seems like a quiet sort of guy,

but when a fight is inevitable... he never ducks.

Women are supposed to be nurses and secretaries and school teachers!

I've taken it all my life - from my mother, my father,

and my aunts and my uncles!

I will not take it from you!

When Jim gets going, I hate to get in his way. A regular steamroller.

-Oh...!

-Coward! I'm a race driver and I can win it on my own!

You know, I think you can.

Ah, Double X?

I'm afraid w-w-we've had another complication.

'I'm beginning to think YOU are the complication.'

That...

That item should have been in my hands by now.

-It's in the gas tank.

-Bring me the gas tank. What are you waiting for?

We've lost them again, sir.

-I'm looking for Inspector Bouchet.

-Oui, monsieur.

Impossible! Are you trying to tell me that a couple of simple-minded Americans have...

..disappeared?

Hold on.

-Hope we're not disturbing you, Inspector.

-No, your timing is perfect.

-Good.

Thank you for your co-operation in this matter of the stolen diamond.

-Inspector, we're asking for YOUR help.

-Somebody wants our car.

-Impossible.

-They want us out of the race.

-Oh...

Is there some way we can put the car in protective custody?

-If you're not too busy trying to find that diamond.

-No!

One is as important as the other, I assure you. One moment...

Oh!

I mean, er...we'll wait in the car.

Good idea.

We wouldn't want anything to happen to it.

Allo. The car is here.

..Never mind how...! (Never mind how.)

..No, it's too risky for me.

The car will be at 32 Avenue Mossard within the hour. Don't get lost on the way!

Your worry is now my worry.

Rest easily. I'll take personal charge of this valuable possession.

< Inspector! What is it, Fontenoy?

I couldn't sleep, thinking about the diamond and how it would be weighing on your mind.

-I've a car weighing on my mind.

-Somebody's trying to knock us out of the race.

You don't need a master of deduction like Inspector Bouchet to see that you have an excellent chance to win.

Which is why I'll personally ensure the safety of this automobile.

-Put your mind at ease, get a good night's sleep.

-Thank you!

-You too, Herbie.

-Big day tomorrow, pal.

-Good night.

-Good night.

No. You have enough responsibility trying to find the diamond. I'll look after the car.

Don't be ridiculous! Ah! Ah!

ENGINE STARTS

What are you doing? Anything for you and the force.

Leave it to me, sir. I'll keep this car hidden so no-one will find it.

Fontenoy...

My best man.

-Good night.

-Good night.

My very best.

We've checked, sir. It's nowhere. We've covered the whole city.

-Now what?

-In the morning, before the race,

that ridiculous little car will get gasoline.

When it does, you be there.

Welcome to the inaugural running of the Trans France Race.

They're all here - qualifying drivers and from the world over,

each looking forward expectantly to the chance of the magnificent trophy and 100,000 prize.

These drivers know this is one of the most punishing races ever.

We have them all here, still refining and tuning car after car -

each preparing for the race that will test both men and machine.

-I just wish I had a machine to test.

-I hope...whatshisname hasn't lost Herbie.

-I wish you hadn't said that.

I mean, I'm a mechanic.

There's a million little details that have to be taken care of for a race.

I pride myself in being thorough.

..My tools! Where's my tools?!

Right here.

-I knew that.

-Oh.

Inspector, the race is about to begin. Where's our car?!

-I

-am as concerned as you are. I'm sure Fontenoy will be here.

He's unpredictable, but dependable.

What?

Let me check with the porter again.

He'll be here.

You be ready.

Who's that?

That's Double X, you dummy.

Uh-oh, better duck. Here comes trouble.

Hello.

Hello.

-Uh, look, about last night...

-I know. Me too. Sorry.

-Not about missing me with that vase, I hope.

-No, no.

I was a uptight and nervous about the race.

Well, I threw a few brickbats myself...in the wrong direction.

We didn't get off to a flying start, did we?

Herbie and I take a little getting used to.

..When you keep including Herbie like that, you take A LOT of getting used to.

By the way, where is...it?

-Well...

-Douglas, did you misplace your little car?

Just temporarily.

Look under a rock. You may find it.

No, not under a rock, Gilbert, a gravestone.

'Attention, everyone. All drivers bring your machines to the grid.

'Five minutes till race time.'

It's just as well, Douglas. You know the saying...

"They never come back."

Well, I'd better go.

Diane!

-Good luck.

-I think you mean that.

'Drivers will please take your position as quickly as possible.

'Pour un moment, mesdames et messieurs, je vous donne les positions de depart.

'Nous avons Jim Douglas dans la voiture de numero 53.

'A l'exterieur, nous avons Diane Darcy, numero 7...'

REVVING ENGINES AND CHEERS DROWN OUT COMMENTATOR

- Take the brake off! - The brake IS off!

Know something? That Lancia's waiting on Herbie.

So are we. All we need's her hanging around(!)

Bougez! Bougez!

-No, mademoiselle.

-Listen...

-I hope you'd nothing to do with this.

-I'll you who did.

-It's your Herbie(!)

-Herbie's missing and your Lancia's missing Herbie.

You must think I'm an absolute fool with this Herbie, Herbie, Herbie!

I don't believe in fairy tales or Herbie or you!

Jim? Pop the hood, will you?

-What are you doing?

-You want your car started, don't you?

Listen, I know how you feel,

but you'd better get over it right now. Forget Herbie.

You know why he isn't here. He's found somebody else, that's why.

He didn't have the guts to tell you.

Oh, yeah, we're talking about the same guy, all right.

Old Herbie, old fun-loving, fickle Herbie.

-Now, you see him...now you don't.

-He's right, you know.

So far, we've had to tell this to a Fiat, a Thunderbird and an Austin-Healey.

It was...fun while it lasted, but you know, the truth is you weren't the first and you won't be the last.

You might as well take off.

Will somebody help me start my car? Oui, mademoiselle.

S'il vous plait. Let me have a look.

ENGINE STARTS Thank you!

I thought everyone here was crazy.

Well, so much for the Lancia.

Yeah, so much for both of them, I guess.

'Mesdames et messieurs, quittez les lignes de depart.'

-You realise you have pole position?

-I also realise we don't have a car.

-It'll be here.

-It had better be in two minutes, or you can try again next year.

'Mesdames et messieurs,

'dans quelques seconds, nous aurons l'inauguration de la travers course Trans France.

'Ladies and gentlemen, the first inaugural riding of the Trans France Race is about to begin.'

'Nous avons un jeune garcon du nom de Marc.

'Les parents devront chercher leur fils.'

What's that?

It's an armoured truck.

That armoured truck is us!

-..Excuse me.

-Yes, yes.

Where's Herbie?! Are you crazy?

We're supposed to be in a race and you're guarding the Crown Jewels(!)

We didn't travel 6,000 miles to see you dressed up like a tin soldier!

I've had it with the French...

Herbie!

-Are we still in it?

-You'll be starting and finishing in last place.

You've things to attend to!

Gas! Let's move it, Wheely.

Fill it up.

Monsieur Douglas, stop! What?! I filled the tank.

Let's go, Wheely!

-Come on, Herbie, the race is back there.

-He's looking for that Lancia.

Inspector!

Suppose there's a connection between the men who take the little car

and the men who stole the diamond. Not now, Fontenoy!

What if they've hidden the diamond in the car?

What?! Our men should search that car immediately.

Search?! Yes!

There's no time! Sir, the car is still here.

Yes, but he's obviously tuning up or something.

The men and I will search that car bumper to bumper.

No, Fontenoy! N-No?

What you don't seem to understand is that, er...

a thorough search would take over an hour.

That would deprive Douglas of winning a race he has travelled halfway around the globe to enter.

Sir, I admire you for your consideration,

and I understand now exactly how you are thinking.

Sorry, sir.

-Forget the Lancia, Herbie. She's gone!

-Yeah, gone! Split!

Yeah, she took off in that race like you never existed.

She wanted me to tell you it was fun while it lasted,

but when push came to shove, she shoved off. That's how women are.

Might as well face it - you've been deserted...jilted...abandoned.

Too late now.

We'll get it in Monte Carlo after the race.

Inspector!

I think you will be proud of me. What now, Fontenoy?

I've done what you would have wanted me to do.

Notified Monte Carlo.

Their police will search the car as soon as it arrives.

I take care of my truck, sir.

Catch anything?

I didn't think so.

-Which way?

-Right!

Left!

-If the trophy's going to Monte Carlo on a jet, we may beat 'em to it!

-But the Alps are in our way.

The way Herbie's flying, nothing can stop him, including the Himalayas.

Some road! It's not even on the map. Maybe you ought to ask directions.

-From who? A mountain goat?

-There...

-Maybe I'll just call from in here.

-Yeah.

HE YODELS

-YODEL ECHOES

-Hey, there's somebody out there.

-No, that's just me. I never heard a real echo before.

-HE YODELS

-Sit down, Wheely!

-Just one more, OK?

HE YODELS

Come on, Wheely!

I got somebody.

Those are the guys who were after Herbie.

Get out of the car.

ENGINE STARTS

I'm taking over. I'll drive the car.

CAR HORN YODELS

-Maybe it'll work again.

-HE YODELS

YODEL ECHOES

Ha, ha! I like your yodel-eh-hee-hoo!

Well, we're back on the beam.

-How many cars d'you figure are ahead of us?

-All of them?

-CLANGING

-Is that a knocking in the gas tank?

Not in MY gas tank!

-Never!

-Sounds like something clunking around in there.

We either listen to the driver and stop to take the gas tank apart

-or we listen to the mechanic and win this race!

-I'm listening to the mechanic. Let's go, Herbie!

PEEP! PEEP!

LOUD CLANKING

-What's wrong?

-The oil pressure's up, there's plenty of gas...

-Well, he's not getting it.

I hate to mention this again, but I heard...

-That nonsense about the gas tank?

-Yes.

Let's get it straight who the mechanic is around here.

You say it's the gas tank and I say it isn't the gas tank.

See? It isn't the gas tank. It's this...rock that was in the tank.

Hold it!

-Only one kind of rock glistens like that.

-Quartz.

You can find millions in any quarry.

But not one that's worth... six million bucks.

-Huh?

-L'Etoile De Joie.

-The tall...the what?

-Etoile De Joie.

Oh, wow!

That's the biggest hunk of diamond I've ever seen in my life.

What I don't understand is how...?

-The black sedan.

-Huh? Where?

-No, no, no.

They robbed the museum.

They weren't trying to stop us race. They wanted this.

Hands up.

-You gave us the slip for the last time.

-We'll take the rock.

-I don't suppose you'd believe that was just quartz?

-..The rock - let me have it.

ENGINE STARTS

The rock.

Come on! Hand it over!

LOUD BEEP

What will we do with them now?

TOOT! TOOT!

Thanks, Herbie.

We tie them up!

Double X, we lost them. First time we've ever been done in by a car.

The goods will be in Monte Carlo in a couple of hours.

No chance of stopping them. We're rather tied up at the moment.

BUZZER Get me the airport.

-We've passed every car on the road.

-Except the Lancia.

-After jilting Herbie, that's one car he won't want to come second to. ..Right, Herbie?

-Is that it?

-It sure is.

-Maybe we should have stopped.

-Stop?! Are you kidding?!

Throw away 100 grand and the biggest comeback of our lives?!

-She's in trouble.

-Sure, but let the rescue boys bail her out.

But she could be in real danger!

I'm sorry, Wheely. Sometimes a comeback comes second.

Herbie doesn't seem to think so.

-Why should Herbie want to stop after the lies you told him?

-SH-H-H.

Yeah, the jilted lover.

If he knew that little Lancia had waited on him at the starting line,

wouldn't even budge until you lied to her about him throwing her over,

she...why...he...he'd be back at her side right now.

I hate to say it, but you have a big mouth.

Hang on, Diane!

Thank you. Thank you.

-Are you OK?

-I think so.

I missed a shift and lost control.

That's not all you could have lost!

Herbie, what are you doing?! There's no time!

Forget it, Wheely. He's going to get his girlfriend out of the mud.

-And us out of the race.

-I see it, but I don't believe it.

Well, you can believe this - we are now out of the money, because sometimes a comeback comes second.

-Who's given up, buddy? Not me. Come on. You...

-No, no. I'm gonna stay with my car.

Looks like we're all going to stay with her car.

Let's go, Wheely.

ENGINE WHEEZES

-You're not going any place.

-CARS APPROACH

WHEEZING CONTINUES

Ah, Herbie...

Now, listen to me...

Herbie, I know just how you feel, but I also know you're not a quitter.

Now, show them you can do it, Herbie.

Win it for them. < PEEP!

And for her.

-ENGINE STARTS

-Hey!

The rest is up to you.

-Good luck.

-Thanks.

Aw, come on, Herbie. Open up, will you?

I know you're sore about what I told you. I'm sorry.

Look, I did it for you.

OK, OK, I did it for us.

-What do you want me to do? Beg?

-PEEP! PEEP!

OK... All right, I lied to you

and I'm sorry, and I promise I'll never, ever do it again, OK?

Well, you sure don't forgive easy, do you?

< Ah, Bouchet, did you miss a turn on your way to the Eiffel Tower?

No, a little unfinished business, Emile.

You wound me, my friend. Can I not handle a little diamond search?

My men are waiting for the cars. That's why I am here.

Afraid I'll steal your glory? There's no glory to be stolen.

I wish to rectify a terrible mistake and save everyone from embarrassment.

..The search is off. Off?

The message was an error by an overzealous detective, anxious to make his reputation.

Yes, but for this kind of news we have telephones.

This matter needed my personal attention.

Who knows what complications could arise from a situation like this?

This is a big race. It could cause... an international incident.

Hmm...

Ah!

It seems your young man in Paris has caused you a lot of trouble.

I assure you, Emile, I intend to put an end to it.

Wiser heads are always called upon to clean up the young's mistakes.

- It's true. - Our reward? We get it in heaven.

Perhaps a bit sooner.

Three down and two to go!

-Road hog! He should learn to drive.

-He has - that's the trouble.

I see what you mean.

If we don't get him by the tunnel...

-There's no way we can pass him.

-Bruno was right - they never come back.

PEEP! PEEP!

He-e-erbie!

Ha-ha! I don't b-believe it!

We did it! I guess Herbie wasn't listening!

-Woo-woo-woo-woo!

-Woo-woo-woo-woo!

Schwein!

CRIES OF "HERBIE! HERBIE!"

-How does it feel to be back?

-Pretty good!

For the 20th time, it was a great race and we enjoyed every minute of it...almost!

Well, I'm enjoying every minute of THIS, I can tell you that.

And both of us would like to thank you all very, very much.

Au revoir!

Arrivederci! Ciao! Buenas noches!

Sayanora.

AMERICAN ACCENT: Right. See you around, Douglas.

Hey, that's some cute, little memento you've got there, old buddy.

It's as much yours as it is mine, old buddy, and more Herbie's than anybody's.

You can say that again.

-Look who's here.

-May I add my congratulations?

-You'll congratulate us even more when you see this.

-It was in the gas tank!

-Ah!

-This what you're looking for?

-Yes.

It's had a rough trip, hasn't it? But now it's in the right hands.

Indeed, it is.

We missed a connection, but here I am.

Fontenoy.

You see? I knew the diamond would be found.

It's an honour to be at your side.

And I have more good news, sir. The two thieves have been captured.

INSPECTOR LAUGHS NERVOUSLY Good, then the case is concluded.

Yeah...but there seems there'd be a mastermind behind this thing.

-Or the museum has lousy security.

-Sir, men have been challenged to a duel for such an accusation.

The museum security was foolproof. ..I made an interesting discovery.

Fontenoy... From the sensitised floor to the radar beams around the pedestal,

to the pillow on which the diamond lay - all traps were conceived by...

Give credit where credit is due.

The combinations were known only to you, sir.

But who, besides the inspector, knew the details of these precautions?

..Who, BESIDES the inspector?

The answer to that question is...

nobody!

My retirement has been delayed too long.

No-one make a move!

Move this ridiculous car or I'll kill you!

Even a mastermind can be outsmarted by this car. ..Thanks, Herbie.

Inspector?

I always hoped you'd be present when I cracked my first big case, sir.

F-F-Fontenoy!

Excuse me, sir.

Sorry, sir. Sorry.

I think you'll find it's all here, monsieur.

I'm so happy!

I personally will see to it this magnificent automobile receives the greatest honour France can bestow.

S'il vous plait, the VW.

VW...

-Yes - the white one with the "53" on the side.

-Yes, I know the car.

It is the toast of all Monte Carlo.

-It's also our transportation if you wouldn't mind.

-Oh, I wouldn't mind, monsieur, but it's not here.

What?

It was stolen.

-Mademoiselle, you would not believe this,

-I

-would not believe this...

no-one would believe this.

It was stolen by another car.

Now, look, I know that you believe about Herbie, but you're probably not ready to believe that your...

-Giselle can do anything she wants to.

-Giselle?

-Mm-hm.

We're strong women. Shall we make it a foursome?

Let's go.

Take us to ze most romantic spot in Monte Carlo.

Well...

Yeah, being chief mechanic is important,

but I didn't exactly win the race all by myself.

No?

Well...almost.