Hot Enough for June


Hot Enough for June

Spoof about a bumbling writer who is hired by the British Secret Service to carry out a mission in Czechoslovakia. With Dirk Bogarde and Sylva Koscina.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

-What's that?

-A rabbit's foot, of course.

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PHONE RINGS

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Yeah?

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It's for you.

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Hello?

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Well, just write the usual letter.

0:01:490:01:52

Start thinking about a replacement.

0:01:530:01:56

Just a moment. Got a job for you.

0:02:390:02:41

Must be a mistake. My name is Whistler, Nicholas.

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Yes. Interview tomorrow, 9.00.

0:02:450:02:48

You can't have a job for me!

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-I'm a writer. It says so in my passport.

-You know the rules -

0:02:520:02:57

-any job you're qualified for, you've got to go for, or you lose your benefit.

-What is it?

0:02:570:03:03

-Glass manufacturers. Trainee executive.

-Executive - me?

0:03:030:03:08

-That's ridiculous!

-Yes!

0:03:080:03:11

Queen to bet.

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-I was going to work.

-I thought you gave up writing for industry!

0:03:190:03:24

-Not on your life. 2/6.

-I fold.

0:03:240:03:27

I'll see that.

0:03:270:03:29

How did you get on with that bird I saw you with? He's touchy on that subject!

0:03:290:03:35

-Shut up!

-When he chatted her up, she said she wasn't feeling it!

0:03:350:03:40

-Not feeling it?

-Lorna's a great girl of fine background.

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-She's got a brother in the Navy, an account at Harrods and long legs!

-Been round twice a day ever since!

0:03:450:03:51

To release his talent - here she is!

0:03:510:03:54

Have a nice bath, dear?

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Divine, thanks. And don't moan about the mess - I cleaned it all up!

0:03:570:04:03

I'll bet 10.

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You really are going mad!

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He can afford it. He's got the love of a good woman and a job to go for!

0:04:080:04:13

Executive in one of Britain's great industrial empires!

0:04:130:04:17

-Managing the fortunes of thousands of investors!

-For £7 a week!

0:04:170:04:21

It'll ruin your creative talent!

0:04:210:04:23

-Belt up!

-You'll be writing advertising copy for light bulbs!

0:04:230:04:28

-It's the first step on the downward path!

-It's not said I'll get the job!

0:04:280:04:35

Good morning, sir. Can I help you?

0:04:480:04:51

I think I've got an appointment with Mr Cunliffe or something.

0:04:510:04:55

-You must be Mr Whistler.

-I believe so.

-Mr Cunliffe was expecting you earlier.

-Was he?

0:04:550:05:02

Mr Whistler to see you, sir.

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Wheel him in!

0:05:050:05:07

Thank you.

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Mr Whistler! So glad you could get here. You interested in this little opening of ours?

0:05:110:05:18

-I don't know what it is yet.

-Glass, Mr Whistler, glass.

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Oil may be the substance on which our civilisation runs,

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but glass enables us to see where we're going,

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or, with a driving mirror, where we came from.

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-I don't suppose you're aware of the vast technological advances in our field.

-No, I'm not.

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We're now in a position to construct a car entirely from glass!

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-Wheels, engine, the entire car!

-Be a bit difficult to see it coming!

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Yes, well, that's my side of it.

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-Tell me about yourself. Where did you go to school?

-Here and there...

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No particular school at all.

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-A varied background. I like a boy who's been through the mill. Military service?

-I was lucky there.

0:06:020:06:09

I...

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-I managed to get out of it.

-You don't like the military life?

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-No, I'm a coward!

-We're not all cut out to be soldiers!

0:06:150:06:19

The labour exchange says you speak Czech. Is that correct?

0:06:190:06:23

Well, I was born there - in Prague.

0:06:230:06:26

-Delightful city. You're British now?

-I'm British now.

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-You're a writer?

-Well, I try...

-Anything published?

0:06:300:06:36

Not recently, actually, no.

0:06:360:06:38

Public's not quite ready for you?

0:06:380:06:41

Never mind. You seem just the sort of chap who'd fit in here.

0:06:410:06:45

I do?!

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Yes. We interviewed a lot of chaps for this job, but none had the imagination we wanted!

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You could go right to the top! There are openings all the time.

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What will you pay while I'm waiting for these openings?

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You'd pull in about £2,000 a year.

0:07:040:07:06

£40...a week?

0:07:110:07:13

Yes, that's right. With expenses.

0:07:160:07:19

-That's really very reasonable.

-Yes. Why don't you mull it over during the weekend, then come and see us?

0:07:220:07:30

If you think you'd like the job, I'm sure we could start you off.

0:07:300:07:34

Yes, all right...

0:07:340:07:37

I'll see you on Monday, then.

0:07:370:07:39

-Shall we say 10.00?

-Fine.

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-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

0:07:410:07:44

Well, what do we make of him?

0:07:520:07:54

He doesn't seem very keen! Do you suppose he's reliable?

0:07:540:07:59

I'll get a security check done, but it's only a one-off job, isn't it?

0:07:590:08:05

-He's just a courier.

-I suppose so.

0:08:050:08:07

I'd be a lot happier if he'd been to a decent school!

0:08:070:08:11

BUZZ Yes?

0:08:110:08:13

'Russian Embassy, sir.'

0:08:130:08:15

Naughty of them to use this number! Not supposed to know it.

0:08:150:08:20

-Shall I put it through the scrambler, sir?

-No! We want them to understand!

0:08:200:08:26

Hello? Yes?

0:08:260:08:28

Da svedanya to you too!

0:08:280:08:31

I never heard of him. Who?

0:08:310:08:34

Oh, did you?

0:08:340:08:36

Good. Thanks for letting us know. Goodbye.

0:08:360:08:40

Bloody show-offs!

0:08:420:08:44

Pulled in another of our chaps!

0:08:450:08:48

-Who?

-Carruthers. Romania.

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Romania?

0:08:500:08:52

HE HUMS A TUNE

0:08:520:08:55

-All right! I know!

-Shall we inform the PM?

0:08:550:08:59

He's busy. We better arrest one of theirs to save face!

0:08:590:09:04

-We don't keep track of them like we did. They're getting thin on the ground.

-What about that one?

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Well, we've always maintained he was one of theirs, but the War Office say he's ours!

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Leave him where he is for the moment.

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Don't worry. I'll take care of that.

0:09:210:09:24

Get a replacement for Carruthers.

0:09:240:09:27

-Usual chit to the Ministry?

-Yes.

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They got at Carruthers through some woman he took up with.

0:09:300:09:34

-Try and find someone who's not too susceptible to that!

-Right.

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Don't lean too far in the other direction either!

0:09:380:09:43

Good morning, Mr Whistler.

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My secretary says you've decided to join us. A wise decision.

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-Thank you.

-Go in. I'd like you to meet one of your colleagues.

0:09:530:09:58

Roger, Nicholas Whistler who's joining us. This is Mr Allsop, our personnel manager.

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Hello.

0:10:070:10:08

Shall we all sit down?

0:10:080:10:10

Thank you.

0:10:100:10:13

-You're wondering what you'll do here for the first few weeks?

-Yes.

0:10:130:10:18

-Bit of luck you joining now. Mr Jones...

-Who?

-Mr Jones!

0:10:180:10:23

-Our sales manager! You'll forget your own name next!

-Oh, yes...

0:10:230:10:29

Our Mr Jones is off to Prague and doesn't speak Czech.

0:10:290:10:33

-You could go along.

-To Prague?

-Yes. No personal reason you can't go?

0:10:330:10:38

No. Indeed, on the contrary...

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Fine.

0:10:400:10:42

Isn't Prague behind the thing...?

0:10:420:10:45

The Iron Curtain and all that rot?

0:10:450:10:48

We still trade with those countries!

0:10:480:10:50

The Government doesn't like us to advertise it, but it happens.

0:10:500:10:54

The Czech State Glass Factory will welcome you with open arms!

0:10:540:10:59

Yes, I imagine he'll have an absolutely gorgeous time!

0:10:590:11:03

-When do you want me to leave?

-After lunch.

0:11:060:11:09

After lunch? What about visas and things and...?

0:11:110:11:15

We apply for them on a block booking basis and fill in the details.

0:11:150:11:19

-You've got a passport?

-Yes.

-Well, you'll need some expenses.

0:11:190:11:25

A couple of days...

0:11:250:11:28

Have £100. If you want any more, just ask our Mr Jones.

0:11:280:11:32

Yes, of course. ..You'll have some packing to do.

0:11:330:11:37

-Come back after lunch.

-About what time?

0:11:370:11:41

About 2.15.

0:11:410:11:42

-You've quite a lot of agents on the Continent!

-Representatives. We're quite a big business!

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This is no fly-by-night organisation you've joined!

0:11:530:11:57

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

0:11:570:11:59

-Oh, Whistler...you don't speak Romanian, do you?

-Romanian? No.

0:12:010:12:07

Just a thought. It's safe to drink the water, but watch the local gin!

0:12:070:12:12

You might have given me a proper briefing! Who's our sales manager?

0:12:150:12:21

Sorry! I dreamt Jones up. I thought our young friend might be reluctant to go off on his own.

0:12:210:12:27

Don't worry - I'll scrub Jones.

0:12:270:12:30

You ought to get a padlock for this blind. Might have spoiled it all!

0:12:300:12:35

Look at it!

0:12:370:12:39

You look after Lorna! Ciao.

0:12:420:12:45

-Afternoon.

-Here you are.

0:12:520:12:54

We thought you might be late. Mr Cunliffe's waiting, sir.

0:12:540:12:58

I'll leave these here, if I may.

0:12:580:13:00

Just in time for a glass of port. Pull up a chair.

0:13:050:13:09

Good afternoon, Whistler.

0:13:130:13:15

-Good afternoon.

-Been a bit of a hitch. Smith can't make it.

-Smith?

0:13:150:13:21

-Our sales manager.

-Jones?

-Smith-Jones, yes.

0:13:210:13:24

He's got a touch of the flu. I hope he'll join you in a day or two.

0:13:240:13:29

-No, thank you. I have to go alone?

-Yes. There'll be no complications. It's a courtesy call.

0:13:290:13:35

You'll meet a Mr Galushka, manager of the State Glass Company.

0:13:350:13:39

They've promised us some information about a new process.

0:13:390:13:44

-I see.

-Just one thing that might be tricky...

0:13:440:13:47

Remember I told you the Government doesn't like us advertising what we do?

0:13:470:13:54

They have the same trouble there.

0:13:540:13:56

They like to make a mystery of it, passwords and so on.

0:13:560:14:01

They might prefer to slip the information into this book.

0:14:010:14:05

Politics - not letting your left hand know what your right hand does.

0:14:050:14:10

You mean I have to hand this to Mr Galushka, whatever his name is,

0:14:110:14:16

and he just slips the information inside?

0:14:160:14:20

Sort of East-West co-operation without a word being said?

0:14:200:14:24

It's not quite as simple as that.

0:14:240:14:26

It may not be Galushka. Hence the password.

0:14:260:14:30

-You have to be certain you're speaking to the right person. Slip the password in.

-What password?

0:14:300:14:37

You're quite right.

0:14:370:14:39

Hot enough for June.

0:14:460:14:48

And the reply?

0:14:480:14:50

Reply?

0:14:500:14:52

-So I know I'm speaking to the right man.

-Oh, yes.

0:14:520:14:56

Ah, but you should've been here last September.

0:14:560:15:00

-Hot enough for June. Ah, but you should've been here last September.

-That's right.

0:15:000:15:07

-I've confirmed your flight. Here's your ticket.

-Thank you very much.

0:15:070:15:12

Let's see Mr Whistler gets to the airport safely.

0:15:120:15:16

Terrible business, this.

0:15:350:15:38

-Mmm?

-This fellow they jailed as a spy.

0:15:380:15:42

-Expect he knew what he was letting himself in for.

-You think so?

0:15:420:15:47

-Mr Whistler. You have a reservation for me.

-Oh...

0:16:310:16:35

Yes, Mr Whistler. Room 47.

0:16:350:16:38

Take the gentleman's bag, please.

0:16:400:16:42

-May I have your passport?

-Oh, yes.

0:16:420:16:45

-Have there been any messages for me?

-No, Mr Whistler.

0:16:450:16:49

Were you expecting something in particular?

0:16:490:16:53

-Er...no... I just wondered if there was something.

-I see.

0:16:530:16:58

Nothing.

0:16:580:16:59

SIREN

0:17:090:17:11

KNOCKING

0:17:260:17:28

Good evening, sir. I am Josef, your floor waiter.

0:17:300:17:33

-I have a message for you.

-Thank you.

-It just arrived.

0:17:330:17:37

-Thank you.

-Will you require anything else? Glass of beer?

0:17:370:17:42

-Not at the moment.

-You plan to make a long stay?

-I don't know yet.

0:17:420:17:47

-I hope you do good business. We need the businessmen back.

-You seem pretty full.

-Delegations.

0:17:470:17:54

Different class of people.

0:17:540:17:56

Tipping is capitalist. It has no place in our way of life.

0:17:560:18:01

-If you require me, ring, sir. The name is Josef.

-Thank you.

0:18:020:18:06

-Mr Whistler?

-Yes.

-I'm Vlasta Simoneva, your driver and guide.

0:18:320:18:36

-I'll be totally at your service.

-Thank you.

0:18:360:18:39

Do you mind if I sit in the front?

0:18:400:18:43

I'm not a commissar!

0:18:430:18:45

We no longer have commissars in the socialist countries.

0:18:450:18:49

What did you do - shoot them all?

0:18:490:18:52

Don't drive very fast, will you? I frighten easily.

0:18:570:19:01

The transition from commissars to more democratic types of officials was a natural process of socialism.

0:19:050:19:13

Shooting was unnecessary.

0:19:130:19:16

How nice!

0:19:160:19:18

-You are going to see Mr Galushka, the director?

-Yes, I think so.

0:19:400:19:44

-Wilzek his assistant will take you. In there.

-Thank you.

0:19:440:19:49

I will come for you at 4.00.

0:19:490:19:52

-Will you?

-Yes.

0:19:520:19:55

Thank you.

0:19:550:19:57

This is the merest outline. Mr Galushka will tell you much more.

0:20:020:20:07

He is the architect of our industry, a brilliant man,

0:20:070:20:11

but not perhaps easy to get on with!

0:20:110:20:14

KNOCKING

0:20:140:20:17

Ah! Good morning, Mr Whistler, good morning!

0:20:170:20:21

-Good morning.

-Mr Whistler has come from England to see Zapotocky.

0:20:210:20:26

Really? Oh...

0:20:260:20:28

I thought he was a spy!

0:20:280:20:30

Sit down, Mr Whistler!

0:20:320:20:34

Sit down.

0:20:340:20:36

What do you want to know?

0:20:360:20:39

We are at your service.

0:20:390:20:41

Wilzek, have you confirmed with the canteen about lunch?

0:20:430:20:47

But...wasn't it all arranged?

0:20:470:20:50

That's what I want you to find out.

0:20:500:20:52

Yes...yes, of course.

0:20:520:20:55

He's a useful little insect, but not as intelligent as he might be.

0:21:000:21:05

I feel more at ease when he's not about!

0:21:050:21:09

What is it you wish to see?

0:21:090:21:12

Well...

0:21:120:21:14

nothing particular...

0:21:140:21:16

Mr Jones, our sales manager, will probably decide what he wants to see when he arrives.

0:21:160:21:22

-You're expecting him?

-Yes.

0:21:220:21:25

-Aren't you?

-No.

0:21:250:21:28

Oh...

0:21:300:21:31

-Probably a misunderstanding on our side.

-Evidently.

0:21:310:21:36

I think we can show you everything you could possibly wish to see.

0:21:360:21:41

Well, that's very kind of you.

0:21:410:21:44

I'm sure the people on our side will be very grateful.

0:21:440:21:48

I certainly seem to have brought the weather with me...

0:21:500:21:54

-haven't I?

-The weather?

0:21:540:21:57

Yes...

0:21:570:21:59

I mean it's almost...

0:21:590:22:02

hot enough for June...

0:22:020:22:04

-isn't it?

-You think so?

0:22:040:22:08

Considering the time of year...

0:22:090:22:12

Well...

0:22:120:22:14

yes, it's an interesting way of looking at it.

0:22:140:22:18

Shall we go?

0:22:180:22:21

Yes...

0:22:210:22:22

What are your feelings about the new continuous-rolling machinery they installed in England?

0:22:340:22:41

I think it's a good thing. I think it's a very good thing.

0:22:430:22:47

Mr Whistler, may I see your guidebook?

0:22:470:22:50

Mr Pavek, our research director.

0:22:500:22:53

Thank you.

0:22:570:23:00

Thank you. A very good guidebook.

0:23:190:23:21

Czechoslovakia is a beautiful country, is it not?

0:23:210:23:25

Yes, it's very pretty, very pretty indeed.

0:23:250:23:29

We must get on. Mr Galushka has arranged a demonstration.

0:23:290:23:33

It's really very warm.

0:23:380:23:40

Yes.

0:23:400:23:42

Hot enough for June...?

0:23:420:23:44

Is it?

0:23:440:23:46

An entirely new process developed by our comrade from East Germany...

0:23:570:24:02

has enabled us to make this revolutionary unbreakable glass.

0:24:020:24:08

But surely there's nothing new in that?

0:24:080:24:11

Nothing new, true - bulletproof and armour-plated glass have been known for a long time,

0:24:110:24:18

but it has been of great thickness and considerable weight.

0:24:180:24:23

Observe, please.

0:24:230:24:26

Permit me, Herr Doktor. Certainly, Herr Direktor.

0:24:260:24:30

This glass that our German comrade has developed is little thicker than paper and has the strength of steel.

0:24:300:24:38

May I?

0:24:380:24:40

Bitte.

0:24:400:24:42

Observe, please.

0:24:520:24:54

Please.

0:25:010:25:02

May I?

0:25:020:25:04

-You see?

-Yes.

-Come. We must move on. Thank you, Herr Doktor.

0:25:170:25:21

Bitte, Herr Direktor.

0:25:210:25:24

SMASH!

0:25:250:25:30

Nazi swine!

0:25:400:25:43

I hope you had an interesting day.

0:25:510:25:54

I think you saw it all. If there's anything you'd like to see again...

0:25:540:25:59

It's been most instructive.

0:25:590:26:02

-Could I just wash my hands?

-Of course. How thoughtless of me.

0:26:020:26:06

You should have asked me before.

0:26:060:26:09

Mr Galushka! Excuse me.

0:26:090:26:12

The comrade from East Germany... Yes?

0:26:130:26:16

He wants to know what luggage to take on his re-education course.

0:26:160:26:21

Just a toothbrush, comrade!

0:26:210:26:24

Just a moment, comrade.

0:26:340:26:37

There's dirt on your jacket.

0:26:370:26:39

You're a visitor here, aren't you?

0:26:420:26:45

Yes, from London.

0:26:450:26:47

I thought so. You've come at the right time of year. Fine weather.

0:26:470:26:52

-Is that so?

-Oh, yes. Most unusual for the time of year. More like...

0:26:520:26:57

I mean, it's almost...

0:26:570:27:00

You mean...it's hot enough...

0:27:000:27:04

-Mr Whistler! Have you finished?

-Er...yes.

0:27:040:27:08

Tomorrow...

0:27:100:27:12

I'll take you to your car.

0:27:140:27:17

-Oh, yes...

-Now you've seen how we work, I hope you'll go out tonight and see how we enjoy ourselves!

-Yes.

0:27:170:27:23

I'd like that. You said if there's anything I wanted to see again...

0:27:230:27:29

Could I come back tomorrow and have look at that rolling process again?

0:27:290:27:34

Any time. No, not tomorrow. I have a conference to attend.

0:27:340:27:39

-Come Thursday. I shall expect you.

-Thursday.

-Goodbye.

0:27:390:27:43

-I hope you have a nice stay.

-Thank you. Goodbye.

0:27:430:27:47

Would it be against the rules for a capitalist to buy you a drink?

0:27:510:27:57

Not necessarily.

0:27:570:27:59

Not frightened your friends see you and say, "What is Comrade Simoneva doing with that reactionary hyena?"

0:27:590:28:07

They will know that it is the duty of Comrade Simoneva to drink with foreigners,

0:28:070:28:14

even reactionary hyenas.

0:28:140:28:16

The work of a businessman must be very interesting.

0:28:210:28:25

-It carries its own responsibilities with it.

-Do you employ many child labourers?

0:28:250:28:31

Not any longer. Too inefficient.

0:28:310:28:34

You must not make fun of me.

0:28:340:28:36

I'm well-informed about England. I read the Daily Worker.

0:28:360:28:41

I see.

0:28:410:28:43

Is it true you have to go to Eton to be in the Government?

0:28:430:28:47

It helps.

0:28:470:28:49

And a party member, a Communist, could he go to Eton?

0:28:490:28:53

I've never known anyone who was a Communist and who went to Eton.

0:28:530:28:58

-There were a few were Communists by the time they left.

-They went into Government?

-The Foreign office!

-Oh!

0:28:580:29:07

I'm afraid I'm being a Fascist beast!

0:29:070:29:11

I see you don't know the correct terminology.

0:29:110:29:15

You're too soft to be a beast.

0:29:150:29:18

Thank you.

0:29:180:29:20

Perhaps only a lackey of bourgeois reaction?

0:29:200:29:24

You're very, very attractive.

0:29:240:29:27

There is much you have to learn about the ways of our society.

0:29:270:29:33

You could take me out to dinner and start to teach me...

0:29:330:29:37

If you wish.

0:29:390:29:41

Now I must make a telephone call and I have to change.

0:29:410:29:45

Where shall I meet you?

0:29:450:29:48

At the Golden Cockerel at 9.00. Anyone will tell you where to find it.

0:29:480:29:54

Give me Red 6.

0:30:120:30:14

-Good afternoon. I came to see if the maid collected your laundry.

-Thank you.

0:30:180:30:24

I want to call England, please.

0:30:350:30:37

To London.

0:30:370:30:39

I told you. We shall be at the Golden Cockerel at 9.00.

0:30:390:30:43

-We shall send an observer.

-There's no necessity. I can find out everything there is to know myself!

0:30:430:30:50

That will be for us to decide, comrade! Hello?

0:30:500:30:54

Hello?

0:30:540:30:56

Hello? Hello?

0:30:560:30:59

Patience, Plakov!

0:31:030:31:05

Patience!

0:31:060:31:07

PHONE RINGS

0:31:070:31:10

Hello? Allsop speaking.

0:31:120:31:14

-It's Whistler.

-Is he back? Good!

0:31:150:31:19

He's calling from Prague!

0:31:190:31:21

Hello? Whistler? What the devil is this? Who gave you this number?

0:31:230:31:29

I made a note of it when I was in.

0:31:290:31:31

I thought I'd call to ask when Mr Jones is coming out.

0:31:310:31:36

Mr Jones died in his bath today.

0:31:360:31:38

-I-I'm terribly sorry.

-Very sad, but you'll have to manage on your own. Nothing else, was there?

0:31:410:31:48

No, no...nothing specific.

0:31:480:31:51

You might like to know - I finally made contact.

0:31:510:31:55

I've got to go back on Thursday.

0:31:550:31:57

They do make a frightful song and dance about it.

0:31:570:32:01

You better ring off. These Continental calls are expensive.

0:32:010:32:06

Whistler...good luck, old man.

0:32:070:32:10

What are you waiting for?

0:32:150:32:17

-Get the exchange to transfer that number to the Milk Marketing Board.

-Won't he try and call again?

0:32:170:32:24

Good evening. This way, please.

0:32:500:32:52

Your table, madame.

0:32:550:32:57

-What about that one?

-Reserved, madame.

-I like it better.

0:32:570:33:02

This one's splendid. Come on.

0:33:020:33:04

Your menus.

0:33:070:33:09

Thank you.

0:33:090:33:11

This table was specially prepared for you, madame.

0:33:110:33:15

Would you like to order now, sir?

0:33:260:33:29

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

0:33:330:33:35

Everything satisfactory, Comrade Plakov?

0:33:380:33:42

Did you hear about the prisoner and the secret policeman?

0:33:420:33:46

Well, there was this secret policeman.

0:33:480:33:51

Let's say his name was Plakov.

0:33:510:33:54

He had a prisoner brought up from the cells and he said,

0:33:550:34:00

"Comrade, why don't you confess?

0:34:000:34:02

"You have nothing to lose but your chains."

0:34:020:34:06

The prisoner said, "But I thought my chains belonged to the state!"

0:34:060:34:11

And Plakov, who was a very stupid man, said...

0:34:110:34:16

MUSIC SWELLS

0:34:160:34:18

What about your parents?

0:34:320:34:34

-My mother died in the war.

-And your father?

0:34:340:34:38

He's a musician.

0:34:410:34:43

He plays in an orchestra. We live in a house outside the town.

0:34:430:34:48

Have you got any brothers or sisters?

0:34:480:34:51

No.

0:34:510:34:53

A fiance?

0:34:530:34:55

No.

0:34:570:34:59

I wonder why not.

0:35:010:35:04

CRACKLING

0:35:070:35:10

You see - I have told you everything.

0:35:150:35:19

-There are many things I must know from you.

-Thank you.

0:35:190:35:22

There's plenty of time for that.

0:35:220:35:25

You can't be sure.

0:35:250:35:28

Come and dance.

0:35:280:35:30

-Oh, no. I must go home.

-It's early.

0:35:300:35:32

My father may be waiting for me. I have to look after him.

0:35:320:35:37

Can I take you home?

0:35:370:35:39

-No, it's better that you don't.

-Why?

0:35:390:35:42

Nothing good should be done too fast!

0:35:420:35:46

And tomorrow we have a holiday.

0:35:480:35:51

-The back?

-Mmm.

0:36:120:36:15

Permit me an observation - Comrade Simoneva isn't taking her assignment seriously.

0:36:540:37:00

-Your observations have been noted - frequently.

-Yes, but, with respect, I feel we could do more.

0:37:000:37:07

Unfortunately, in your case, the response would be limited.

0:37:070:37:11

THUNDER CRASHES

0:37:130:37:16

-Wait... I'll get you some dry clothes.

-Excuse me.

0:37:560:38:01

Crikey!

0:38:030:38:06

The Kremlin!

0:38:060:38:08

My father is a very fat man.

0:38:090:38:13

Yes, he is rather, isn't he? Won't he mind?

0:38:150:38:19

He is not here, is he?

0:38:190:38:21

I will dry your clothes... when you're ready.

0:38:210:38:25

I'm going to change.

0:38:250:38:28

THUNDER CRASHES

0:38:280:38:30

-Did you say your father was playing in Pilsen tonight?

-Yes. Why?

0:39:060:39:11

-When do you expect him home?

-I don't.

0:39:110:39:14

Nicholas...

0:39:160:39:18

Yes.

0:39:310:39:33

Will you light the fire?

0:39:330:39:36

I will.

0:39:380:39:40

PHONE RINGS

0:40:020:40:05

Hello?

0:40:110:40:12

Hello? Hello?

0:40:120:40:14

THUNDER CRASHES

0:40:200:40:23

What the hell are you laughing at?

0:40:300:40:33

You look like a Russian!

0:40:330:40:35

I've got news for you!

0:40:350:40:37

The Cold War is about to end!

0:40:430:40:47

What are you thinking about?

0:41:060:41:08

I'm thinking about you.

0:41:100:41:12

Anything wrong with that?

0:41:120:41:14

I don't know...

0:41:160:41:18

If you were doing something here in Prague...I mean, something bad,

0:41:200:41:25

would you tell me about it?

0:41:250:41:27

-What should I be doing that's bad?

-That's what I'm asking you.

0:41:280:41:33

Your visit to the factory and again tomorrow...

0:41:330:41:37

Isn't there something about that which is...

0:41:370:41:41

I don't know the word.

0:41:420:41:44

Suspicious?

0:41:460:41:48

Yes.

0:41:480:41:49

Look...

0:41:520:41:53

I'm going back to the factory tomorrow for the last time

0:41:530:41:58

to see a process that I missed.

0:41:580:42:01

The next day, I fly back to London.

0:42:010:42:03

I shan't have harmed a living soul.

0:42:030:42:07

Then, that is what I shall believe.

0:42:100:42:13

TOOTING

0:42:200:42:22

It's my taxi.

0:42:320:42:35

Yes, I know.

0:42:350:42:37

I'll see you at the hotel later.

0:42:370:42:40

Yes...but first I have to report to my office.

0:42:400:42:45

What are you up to? You shouldn't be in the road!

0:43:060:43:10

You're not fit to drive!

0:43:100:43:13

Get out of it! Go on! You rotten low-down...!

0:43:130:43:17

Get out of it!

0:43:170:43:19

Your daughter's here, sir. Shall I send her in?

0:43:210:43:25

You tell her, Plakov. You'll enjoy it more than I will!

0:43:270:43:32

Yes, sir.

0:43:320:43:34

The disappointment you're causing your father does not concern us...

0:43:470:43:52

but the failure to obey instructions and your frivolous attitude are viewed with great displeasure.

0:43:520:43:59

You're taken off the job

0:44:010:44:04

and you are forbidden to make any further contact with Mr Whistler.

0:44:040:44:09

That's all. You may go.

0:44:090:44:12

I'm...sorry.

0:44:170:44:20

Wrong car.

0:44:200:44:22

-You are Mr Whistler?

-Yes...I... Yes, I am.

0:44:220:44:25

What happened to Vlasta... I mean, my usual driver?

0:44:250:44:29

Driver Simoneva has been detained on other business. Get in.

0:44:290:44:34

-It's exciting, yes?

-What's it for?

-For the parade tomorrow. Have you not heard?

-No.

0:44:500:44:56

It'll be one of the greatest in recent years. 108 contingents from the outlying districts alone!

0:44:560:45:03

By tonight, the town will be full!

0:45:030:45:06

-Mr Whistler...

-Yes?

0:45:190:45:22

Driver Simoneva gave me this for you.

0:45:220:45:25

Oh...

0:45:250:45:27

Nothing more I can tell you.

0:45:440:45:47

-Are you staying for the parade?

-No, I fly back in the morning.

0:45:470:45:51

Anything to drink in the office? Yes.

0:45:510:45:54

-A drink before you go?

-I'd like to. May I wash my hands? Thank you.

0:45:540:46:00

Good morning.

0:46:120:46:14

It's hot enough for June.

0:46:140:46:17

Ah, but you should have been here last September.

0:46:210:46:24

-Good heavens! You're British!

-Of course I am, you bloody fool!

0:46:240:46:29

-How'd you get stuck in a job like this?

-It's a cover! Give!

-A what?

-Cover!

0:46:290:46:35

What do you mean - cover?

0:46:350:46:38

What the hell do you think I mean?

0:46:390:46:42

-Guard this with your life!

-What did you mean?

0:46:420:46:46

Stop playing the fool! I am a spy, the same as you are!

0:46:460:46:50

Spy? I'm nothing to do with being a spy! Legitimate industrial...

0:46:500:46:55

-Espionage?

-If you insist, yes!

0:46:550:46:57

It's between one firm and another - it's common in business!

0:46:570:47:01

Tell that to the firing squad!

0:47:010:47:03

-What?

-The firing squad! Da-da-da!

0:47:030:47:06

Oh, dear!

0:47:060:47:08

Well, comrade...I wish you luck!

0:47:130:47:17

I... Oh...!

0:47:200:47:22

What's the matter?

0:47:460:47:49

We have to wait for the other car.

0:47:490:47:51

Where have you been?

0:49:360:49:38

Take a rifle. We mustn't be seen talking.

0:49:380:49:42

-What's the matter?

-Shoot!

0:49:500:49:52

There is something you didn't tell me last night?

0:49:540:49:58

No, nothing.

0:50:000:50:02

Anyway, it makes no difference.

0:50:020:50:04

-I can't see you any more.

-Why?

0:50:040:50:07

I can't tell you. Shoot!

0:50:070:50:10

-Vlasta, tell me - what happened?

-Don't look at me! Shoot!

0:50:130:50:17

Don't wait for the plane tomorrow. You must leave today.

0:50:250:50:30

Someone told you something - what?

0:50:300:50:32

It doesn't matter! Do as I say!

0:50:320:50:35

But...

0:50:350:50:37

if I don't see you again...

0:50:370:50:39

please remember that I didn't want this to happen...

0:50:390:50:43

Don't look! Shoot!

0:50:430:50:45

Hey! Stop!

0:50:530:50:55

Stop! You haven't paid!

0:50:550:50:58

I'm sorry.

0:50:580:51:01

For the lady.

0:51:030:51:06

Thanks.

0:51:060:51:08

Josef...

0:51:190:51:21

I'm leaving sooner than I thought. Ask them to make up my bill.

0:51:210:51:26

-Certainly, sir. Shall I bring it up for you?

-Yes, do that.

-Sir.

0:51:260:51:31

-My passport as well. I'll need that.

-Very good, sir.

0:51:310:51:35

-KNOCKING

-Who is it?

0:51:410:51:43

-Me, sir - Josef.

-Come in.

0:51:430:51:46

-Good evening. I have some questions to ask you.

-Yes?

0:51:550:52:00

-Don't I know you?

-I doubt it. I represent the state security police. All right, Josef.

0:52:010:52:08

Well, now, Mr Whistler...

0:52:080:52:11

What is it?

0:52:110:52:13

Nothing serious, I hope.

0:52:130:52:15

No, almost a formality, one might say.

0:52:150:52:19

-If you would just sign this, please.

-Yes, certainly.

0:52:190:52:24

What is it?

0:52:240:52:26

Your confession.

0:52:260:52:29

My what?!

0:52:300:52:32

What the hell do you mean? What am I supposed to have done?

0:52:320:52:37

Come, Mr Whistler. Let's not waste time. Your activities have been known to us all along.

0:52:370:52:44

Your friend at the Zapotocky Factory has already been arrested.

0:52:440:52:49

You see, you might as well sign.

0:52:490:52:53

-And if I refuse?

-Then, we'd have to find an alternative.

0:52:550:52:59

The confession has to be voluntary.

0:52:590:53:02

-There is an alternative?

-Of course.

0:53:030:53:06

There's always an alternative.

0:53:060:53:09

I want to show you something.

0:53:090:53:11

You see that man? He's from the news agency.

0:53:150:53:19

He's waiting for this. It's an item from tomorrow's newspapers.

0:53:190:53:25

"Prague, August 12th.

0:53:260:53:29

"Nicholas Whistler was found dead last night beneath his luxury suite at the Hotel Slovenska.

0:53:290:53:36

"Mr Whistler was on a courtesy visit from London to the Zapotocky Glassworks.

0:53:360:53:42

"A police spokesman said foul play is not suspected."

0:53:420:53:47

I liked the bit about the luxury suite.

0:53:470:53:51

Yes. The suggestion of opulence creates a certain animosity towards the deceased.

0:53:510:53:57

Mind you, the style is pure journalese,

0:53:570:54:00

but I think you get the message.

0:54:000:54:03

Yes...

0:54:060:54:08

Yes, I think I do.

0:54:090:54:11

I shall want the message you received this morning.

0:54:150:54:19

-What message?

-The little piece of paper in your guidebook.

0:54:190:54:24

Oh, that?

0:54:240:54:26

You can't have that.

0:54:280:54:30

-I thought I made the position clear.

-You did, abundantly clear!

0:54:300:54:35

-I disposed of the message.

-Disposed of it?

0:54:350:54:39

-Posted it.

-Are you insane? Have you any idea what the paper contained?

0:54:390:54:44

-No. Have you?

-Never mind. Where did you send it?

-To London.

0:54:440:54:48

By express post. I've got the receipt here.

0:54:480:54:53

It's very simple!

0:54:530:54:55

Capitalist swine!

0:54:560:54:58

Enough! Come!

0:55:060:55:08

He's on the fire escape!

0:55:120:55:15

Room service.

0:56:170:56:19

This is Room 52 and the third time I've called.

0:56:190:56:24

'Sorry, sir. I wasn't on duty.'

0:56:240:56:26

-Bring me a Scotch and ginger ale.

-'Right away, sir.'

0:56:260:56:30

-Well?

-All the exits are covered.

0:56:430:56:45

Good. We'll take him at our leisure.

0:56:450:56:49

Your whisky, sir...

0:56:560:56:59

SIREN

0:57:050:57:08

-The first floor's clear. We've been right through it.

-Good.

0:57:190:57:23

Leave two men on guard there. The others go to the other floors.

0:57:230:57:28

Yes, sir.

0:57:280:57:30

Sorry. No-one is to leave.

0:57:390:57:41

No...I know... They've got him. He's upstairs.

0:57:410:57:45

-I'm the floor waiter.

-Where are you going?

-The chemist. He tried to take his life.

0:57:450:57:52

If you don't believe me, call! Call up!

0:57:520:57:56

-But don't stop me!

-Wait here!

0:57:560:57:59

SIREN

0:57:590:58:02

Come on! On the double!

0:58:040:58:06

British Embassy.

0:58:590:59:01

Listen...

0:59:030:59:04

-The secret police are after me. They think I'm a kind of spy...

-SIREN

0:59:040:59:11

There! That should do it.

0:59:560:59:59

He's trapped. He won't get off the street in those clothes. When the streets clear, we'll have him!

0:59:591:00:06

Out of it!

1:00:201:00:22

WHISTLE Stop!

1:00:281:00:31

SIREN

1:01:071:01:10

Good night.

1:01:461:01:48

Hey!

1:01:591:02:01

-Waiter!

-Yes, sir?

-Hungarian goulash.

-Yes, sir.

-With dumplings.

-With dumplings.

1:02:011:02:07

-Pronti!

-One Hungarian goulash!

1:02:131:02:16

With dumplings!

1:02:161:02:19

I want every man on duty familiar with this face.

1:02:371:02:42

-Have these distributed.

-Yes, sir.

1:02:421:02:44

You are already familiar with the face. Is it a good likeness?

1:02:461:02:51

-Not very flattering.

-We are not involved in a beauty competition.

1:02:551:02:59

This man is a dangerous spy!

1:02:591:03:02

LAUGHTER

1:04:231:04:25

Papa!

1:04:491:04:51

Papa!

1:04:511:04:53

Nicholas!

1:05:291:05:30

-Why did you lie to me?

-I didn't lie to you!

1:05:301:05:34

Lie!

1:05:341:05:35

You told me that your father was a musician!

1:05:351:05:39

Now you'll tell me he was in the secret police band(?)

1:05:391:05:43

-I'm sorry. I'd forgotten I told you that.

-Yes, you forgot that!

1:05:431:05:48

What else did you forget to tell me? What else?

1:05:481:05:52

I didn't tell you... that I too work for the police.

1:05:521:05:56

-You do?

-Yes, I do.

1:06:001:06:03

And anyway... what right have you to be angry?

1:06:031:06:07

You didn't tell me you were a spy!

1:06:071:06:09

But I'm not!

1:06:091:06:11

You are going to deny it!

1:06:111:06:13

Well, I...

1:06:131:06:15

I...

1:06:151:06:17

-I didn't know that I was.

-You expect me to believe that?

1:06:171:06:21

I don't care what you believe!

1:06:211:06:24

I don't care what you believe!

1:06:241:06:26

It's great for you now! You can turn me in - here I am!

1:06:261:06:30

You think I would do that?

1:06:301:06:34

I don't know what you'd do...

1:06:361:06:38

No, of course I don't.

1:06:451:06:47

I...

1:06:511:06:53

-You need sleep.

-Mmm...

1:06:541:06:56

-Use my room.

-No, I must get to the British Embassy.

1:06:561:07:00

-Why did you come here?

-To see you again!

1:07:001:07:04

And because I thought you might be able to help me...

1:07:041:07:08

To deliver secrets to the British?

1:07:081:07:10

No, no...

1:07:111:07:13

Tell me - did you really post that piece of paper?

1:07:131:07:17

-My father turned the post office upside down!

-No, I didn't.

1:07:171:07:22

You want me to help you get to the British Embassy!

1:07:241:07:29

So that you can deliver it!

1:07:291:07:32

You are trying to make me... a traitor!

1:07:331:07:37

No, I'm not.

1:07:371:07:39

Well, what will you do with it?

1:07:391:07:41

I...

1:07:411:07:44

I don't know.

1:07:441:07:45

You'd better give it to me.

1:07:471:07:50

It's all right for me to be a traitor, not you...

1:07:501:07:54

-but, for me, it's all right.

-I didn't think of that.

1:07:541:07:59

No...

1:07:591:08:01

Will you help me to get to the embassy?

1:08:031:08:07

I will try.

1:08:121:08:13

In that case...

1:08:181:08:21

there's only one solution, isn't there?

1:08:211:08:24

-Do you know - I don't even know what this was all about.

-Nor do I.

1:08:301:08:36

Oh, I'm so tired...

1:08:421:08:44

BELL RINGS

1:08:491:08:51

Now, look here! My name's Roddinghead!

1:08:551:08:59

Chrek. How do you do?

1:08:591:09:02

How much longer will these fellows will be here?

1:09:021:09:06

What are they doing here anyway? Waiting for a friend.

1:09:061:09:11

BELL RINGS

1:09:151:09:17

Smiling again, Plakov?

1:09:241:09:26

I like a man who smiles in the face of adversity.

1:09:261:09:30

Our quarry is roaming the streets in waiter's tails in daylight

1:09:301:09:35

and Plakov the eagle-eyed genius cannot locate him! Very good(!)

1:09:351:09:40

What fresh disaster have you to report?

1:09:401:09:44

Not a disaster, sir. It's more in the nature of a joke.

1:09:441:09:48

-A joke!

-Yes.

-Well, now, this is a new side of your personality!

1:09:481:09:54

Very good, Plakov! Amuse me!

1:09:541:09:58

Well, sir, it seems the staff at the British Embassy have mistaken our men for some kind of riffraff.

1:09:591:10:06

They're threatening to make representations to the Government.

1:10:061:10:10

Only a fool would find that story funny...

1:10:101:10:14

you fool!

1:10:141:10:16

It's clear Whistler has contacted his embassy,

1:10:161:10:20

they're expecting him, and they want rid of the riffraff,

1:10:201:10:25

whom they know perfectly well to be our secret police!

1:10:251:10:29

If they should make representations to the Government, and we refuse to move those men,

1:10:291:10:35

we shall have disclosed the importance of this case.

1:10:351:10:39

We therefore need a reliable man to go to the embassy and explain the necessity of keeping the men there.

1:10:391:10:47

-Any suggestions?

-If you permit me, sir...

-Never mind, Plakov.

1:10:471:10:51

I'm going myself.

1:10:511:10:54

I don't say this will happen,

1:10:541:10:57

but if, while I'm out, a young man drops in dressed in waiter's tails, answering to the name Whistler...

1:10:571:11:04

-Whistler?

-Whistler... ..Do try to arrest him(!)

1:11:041:11:07

KNOCKING Come.

1:11:071:11:10

Excuse me, sir. A fellow about those people on the corner.

1:11:131:11:17

Said his name is Simoneva. That old blackguard!

1:11:171:11:20

Do you know him? He's my opposite number!

1:11:201:11:24

I was going to say to speak to him, but, if he knows who you are, we shouldn't let on you're here.

1:11:241:11:30

It's all right. Diplomatic privilege. Show him in!

1:11:301:11:34

Simoneva...

1:11:351:11:37

That old rascal... What's he got up his sleeve this time?

1:11:371:11:41

DOOR OPENS

1:11:421:11:45

What a delightful surprise! You're looking younger than ever!

1:11:471:11:52

-Thank you. I didn't know you were in the diplomatic corps.

-Oh, yes! Sit down. Let me get you a drink.

1:11:521:11:59

Yes, it's a young man's job, this intelligence business.

1:11:591:12:04

-They pension you off, did they?

-That's about the size of it.

1:12:041:12:09

-Vodka?

-Scotch, please!

1:12:091:12:12

-Well, what can I do for you?

-We were told you wanted to see us.

1:12:121:12:17

Oh?

1:12:171:12:19

Yes, those people on the corner.

1:12:191:12:21

Your people aren't happy. Why?

1:12:211:12:24

The ambassador finds it a bit upsetting.

1:12:241:12:28

It's too much having riffraff hanging round the embassy.

1:12:281:12:33

I understand your feelings. Sorry I can't have them moved.

1:12:331:12:37

-Surely it's a simple police job?

-Yes, of course,

1:12:371:12:41

-but, between you and me, they are not riffraff, but secret policeman.

-You're joking, of course?

1:12:411:12:48

No, they are - really. And they are there for your protection!

1:12:481:12:52

Let me tell you the rest!

1:12:521:12:55

There's an element of anti-British fanatics, pledged to assassinate the ambassador and his staff!

1:12:551:13:02

-In order to prevent this, the secret police are guarding the embassy. Correct?

-Something like that.

1:13:021:13:09

It's nice to know we won't be murdered in our beds.

1:13:091:13:12

-Don't you think that dodge is a bit played out?

-Yes...

1:13:121:13:17

but what can we do?

1:13:171:13:19

-Have you come across a fellow called Whistler?

-No, I don't think so - one of yours.

1:13:191:13:26

One of yours. I thought you might know him. Had an accident.

1:13:261:13:30

I am sorry! Anything serious?

1:13:301:13:33

-You sure it's all right?

-Yes.

-They'll be on time?

1:13:441:13:48

At 3.00, then.

1:13:501:13:52

In exactly two minutes, you will leave here and go to the embassy.

1:13:581:14:04

Don't take notice of anything in the street - just go straight to the embassy.

1:14:041:14:10

What if something goes wrong?

1:14:101:14:12

-It won't, but if it does, there is an old loft at the back of this cafe...

-An old what?

1:14:121:14:18

Loft! Go there and I'll be waiting for you.

1:14:181:14:22

In there?

1:14:221:14:24

Yes, in there.

1:14:241:14:26

Goodbye, Nicholas.

1:14:261:14:28

Don't forget your tools. You're supposed to be a plumber.

1:14:341:14:38

Thank you.

1:14:421:14:44

Hey!

1:15:141:15:16

Yes?

1:15:291:15:31

Hold them, all of them! I'm coming immediately.

1:15:311:15:35

Get them!

1:15:351:15:38

SIREN

1:15:471:15:49

Good afternoon, Mr Whistler.

1:16:271:16:30

Stop that man!

1:16:331:16:35

-We got all of them, sir!

-You let him go! Idiot!

1:16:411:16:45

Who put you up to this?

1:16:481:16:51

No-one, sir! They told me the embassy was employing waiters!

1:16:511:16:55

You'd all to come at the same time? Yes, sir. 3.00 - in tails.

1:16:551:17:00

BRASS BAND PLAYS

1:17:001:17:03

-Circulate this description.

-Yes, sir.

-He'll go where the crowds are. I want men at every public event -

1:19:071:19:14

-football grounds, swimming pools, beer gardens, everywhere!

-Yes.

1:19:141:19:20

That's mine, comrade!

1:19:571:20:00

Oh, yes...

1:20:001:20:02

-What's wrong?

-You burned me, you fool!

-I'm sorry. My cigarette...

1:20:451:20:50

-Put some of this on.

-You want to be more careful.

1:20:521:20:56

I know. I'm sorry.

1:20:561:20:58

You won't feel a thing.

1:20:581:21:00

Sorry.

1:21:041:21:07

These are number 400 - that's right, isn't it?

1:21:201:21:23

Yes...

1:21:231:21:26

Police!

1:21:461:21:48

This way! Hands off!

1:21:481:21:51

Take your hands off me!

1:21:511:21:53

Help! Police!

1:21:531:21:55

Milk!

1:22:291:22:31

Vlasta?

1:23:031:23:05

Oh, darling!

1:23:051:23:07

I thought they'd caught you!

1:23:071:23:09

I'm all right. I saw your father and just ran!

1:23:091:23:14

I'm all right now, really!

1:23:141:23:16

But where did you find these?

1:23:161:23:19

-I'll explain later.

-I'm sorry...

-No, it's not your fault.

1:23:191:23:23

I've a plan to get into the embassy. It doesn't involve you.

1:23:231:23:28

It means I have to stay here till, well, dawn.

1:23:281:23:32

CHINKING OF BOTTLES

1:23:361:23:39

There's the milkman.

1:23:411:23:43

6.00. Yeah...

1:23:431:23:46

This time I better not say goodbye.

1:23:591:24:01

This time all will go well.

1:24:031:24:05

You think?

1:24:051:24:08

Take care.

1:24:081:24:10

I love you.

1:24:151:24:17

Milk! >

1:24:311:24:33

Milk!

1:24:351:24:37

Milk! >

1:24:401:24:42

Milk!

1:24:571:25:00

Milk!

1:25:081:25:11

Hey, milkman!

1:25:161:25:19

-What is it, comrade?

-I want you...

1:25:211:25:25

..There's something you ought to know...

1:25:281:25:31

What's that?

1:25:311:25:33

-There's a man in there!

-Oh, you're drunk!

-No...

1:25:341:25:39

CRASH!

1:25:441:25:47

Don't you hear anything? A voice in my head...

1:25:471:25:52

It says, "Go home!"

1:25:521:25:54

Milk!

1:25:541:25:56

Morning.

1:26:161:26:18

Milk!

1:26:181:26:20

BELL RINGS

1:26:321:26:35

You! Milkman! What are you doing?

1:27:151:27:18

-Leave your milk and come away!

-They asked me to call!

1:27:181:27:22

-Put it down - leave!

-They're having a reception. They want cream!

1:27:221:27:28

Get me out of here, someone!

1:27:281:27:31

-That's better.

-Oh...do you think so?

-Better than the Robin Hood outfit.

1:27:531:27:59

Yes, I suppose it is.

1:27:591:28:01

-It's very kind of you to lend them to me.

-Looks more British, anyway.

1:28:011:28:06

-I rather thought it did.

-They're my golfing things.

1:28:061:28:10

-I have a match on the 23rd, so bung them back as soon as possible.

-Yes.

1:28:101:28:15

-Don't wrap them in paper. Use a cardboard box.

-Yes.

-They're inclined to burst.

1:28:151:28:21

What are?

1:28:211:28:23

Paper parcels.

1:28:231:28:25

-I'll take the greatest care.

-Good chap. Remember - the 23rd.

1:28:271:28:32

Against the Turks.

1:28:321:28:34

-Thank you again. I'll remember.

-Not at all. We had to make you presentable.

1:28:341:28:40

There you are! You took your time getting here.

1:28:401:28:44

-I thought you weren't going to come. I'd no idea...

-Neither did I! I want to talk to you!

1:28:441:28:50

I want to talk to you too! Sit down!

1:28:501:28:53

Now, then, about the message... Have you got it?

1:28:531:28:58

Well, in a way...

1:29:001:29:02

-How do you mean - in a way?

-I swallowed it.

1:29:021:29:06

-Swallowed it!

-They were trying to arrest me!

1:29:061:29:10

I suppose there's no chance of... No... Never mind. Can't be helped.

1:29:101:29:14

You did your best. Coffee? Before I forget... This is important.

1:29:141:29:20

The money I gave you - I shall need chits for it. It's all accountable.

1:29:201:29:25

-Whistler, there's a paper on the table I'd like you to glance at.

-Oh?

1:29:301:29:35

What is it?

1:29:351:29:37

The Official Secrets Act.

1:29:371:29:40

Oh, really?

1:29:401:29:42

-Got the gist of it?

-Hardly. It's long.

-Bit of a rigmarole.

1:29:421:29:47

Just put your name at the bottom.

1:29:471:29:49

-I never sign until I read the small print.

-You can't go home till you sign.

-Home?

1:29:491:29:55

-You can't stay - we're exchanging you for a fourth attache at the Hungarian Embassy!

-Is that good?

1:29:551:30:02

Yes. Quite a feather in your cap!

1:30:021:30:04

By the way, that formula you were carting about, did you look at it?

1:30:041:30:10

-I did give it a sort of brief glance.

-Any idea what it was about?

1:30:101:30:15

No. Not the faintest.

1:30:151:30:18

What a pity!

1:30:181:30:20

-You mean you didn't know?

-No.

1:30:201:30:22

A chap in Naval Intelligence gave us the tip. Thought it might be important. Never said what it was.

1:30:221:30:30

Since you're going to London, leave that at the War House, will you?

1:30:411:30:47

You can drink the gin, but be careful of the local water!

1:30:521:30:57

Yes, Father.

1:30:571:30:59

-What are you doing here?

-Seeing someone off.

1:31:041:31:08

Bit suspicious! Never any intention of keeping him here.

1:31:131:31:17

No, it's my daughter. Got her a position with our trade mission.

1:31:171:31:22

Whistler! Keep the briefcase away from her!

1:31:241:31:27

Never mind. They tell me the waiting room is neutral territory.

1:31:311:31:36

This time, the drinks are on me.

1:31:361:31:39

Did you say you were going to England on a trade mission?

1:31:391:31:44

Yes, a place called Aldermaston.

1:31:441:31:47

Well, you won't need this!

1:31:501:31:53

Look...

1:31:581:31:59

Released at the peak of the James Bond success, this spy spoof concerns a bumbling out-of-work writer who is hired by the British intelligence service to carry out a covert mission in Czechoslovakia. Needless to say, he soon attracts the attention of a beautiful spy.


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