Celebratory parody of the 1930s Frankenstein films as the doctor's grandson (Gene Wilder) inherits the creepy old Transylvanian estate and makes his own monster (Peter Boyle).
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CLOCK STRIKES MIDNIGHT
If we look at the base of a brain which has just been removed from a skull,
there's very little midbrain that we can see.
Yet, as I demonstrated last week,
if the under aspects of the temporal lobes are gently pulled apart,
the upper portion of the stem of the brain can be seen.
This so-called "brain stem" consists of the midbrain,
a rounded protrusion called the "pons",
and a stalk tapering down, called the medulla oblongata,
which passes out of the skull through the foramen magnum, and becomes the spinal cord.
Are there any questions before we proceed?
Yes, Dr Frankenstein.
I beg your pardon?
My name is pronounced Fron-kon-steen.
Aren't you the grandson of Dr Victor Frankenstein,
who dug up corpses and transformed dead components...?
YES! YES! YES! We ALL know what he did.
But I'd rather be remembered for my own contributions to science,
and not because of my accidental relationship to a famous...
Can we get on with your question?
< Well, I'm not sure if I understand the difference between "reflexive" and "voluntary" nerve impulses.
Very good! Since our lab work today is a demonstration of that distinction, let's proceed.
Mr Hilltop here, with whom I have NEVER worked, or given any prior instructions to,
has graciously offered his services for our demonstration.
Mr Hilltop, would you hop up and stand beside the table?
Mr Hilltop, would you RAISE your LEFT knee, PLEASE!
You have witnessed a "voluntary" nerve impulse.
It begins as a stimulus from the cerebral cortex, passes through the "brain stem" to the muscles.
Mr Hilltop, you may lower your knee.
"Reflex" movements are made independently of the will,
but are carried along paths between the peripheral nervous system and the central nervous system.
You filthy, rotten, yellow, SON-OF-A-BITCH!
We are not aware of these impulses, neither do we intend that they will contract our muscles,
yet, they work by themselves.
What if we block the nerve impulses by applying local pressure,
which can be done with a metal clamp just at the swelling on the posterior nerve roots
for, oh, say five or six seconds?
Why, you mother-grabbing BASTARD!
As you can see, all communication is shut off.
In spite of our mechanical magnificence,
if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses,
we would COLLAPSE... like...a...bunch...of...BROCCOLI!
-In conclusion, it should be noted... Give him an extra dollar.
..That any more than a common injury to the nerve roots is ALWAYS serious.
Because once a nerve fibre is severed,
there is no way, in heaven or on Earth, to regenerate life back into it.
Any last questions?
Didn't Darwin preserve a piece of vermicelli in a glass case, until, by extraordinary means,
it began to move with "voluntary motion"?
Do you mean the WORM or the SPAGHETTI?
Yes, it seems to me that I did read something of that incident when I was a student.
But you must remember that a worm - with very few exceptions - is NOT a human being.
But sir, wasn't THAT the basis of your grandfather's work? The reanimation of dead tissue?
My grandfather was a VERY sick man.
But as a FRON-KON-STEEN, aren't you curious about it?
Does the bringing back to life of something dead interest you?
You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic.
-DEAD IS DEAD!
-Look at what's been done with organs...
Hearts and kidneys are tinker toys! I'm talking about the central nervous system!
-I am A SCIENTIST, not a philosopher!
It's easier to reanimate this scalpel than a broken nervous system!
-What about your grandfather...?
-MY GRANDFATHER WAS "DOO-DOO"!
I'm not interested in death. Only one thing concerns me -
the preservation of LIFE!
I am Gerhardt Falkstein.
I have travelled 5,000 miles to bring you the will of your great-grandfather -
Baron Beaufort von Frankenstein!
Oh, my sweet darling!
Oh, my dearest love. I'll count the hours you're away.
-So will I...
-Not on the lips!
-I'm going to that party at Nana and Nicky's. I don't want to smear my lipstick.
-Well, I guess this is it.
-Oh, Freddy, darling! How can I say in a few minutes what it's taken a lifetime to understand?
All right! You've got it, mister!
I'm yours - all of me - what else can I say?
-My sweet love...
-The hair! It's just been set.
-Do you like old-fashioned weddings?
-I prefer old-fashioned wedding NIGHTS.
Does that mean... you love me?
-You bet your boots it does!
-Ohhhh, my only love...
The dress...it's taffeta. It wrinkles so easily.
Oh, that horrid man. Hurry up... before I make a fool of myself.
-Oh, the nails!
-Good bye, darling.
-Good bye, Freddy!
-Harry, he's at it again!
-What do you want me to do?
-Let him, let him!
New York, folks! Everybody out for New York!
THE PREVIOUS ARGUMENT IN GERMAN
Aber jeden tag!
Alle aufsteigen fur Transylvania!
Transylvania nachste! Alle aufsteigen Transylvania!
Pardon me, boy, is this Transylvania station?
Ja! Ja! Track 29.
Oh, can I give you a shine?
< FOOTSTEPS THUD AND SCRAPE
< THUD! THUD!
< Dr Frankenstein?
CLAP OF THUNDER
You're putting me on!
No, it's pronounced FRON-KON-STEEN.
Do you also say FRO-DERICK?
-Why not FRO-DERICK FRON-KON-STEEN?
-It's Frederick Fron-kon-steen.
-You must be Ee-gor.
-No, it's pronounced AYE-GOR.
But they told me it was Ee-gor.
-They were wrong then, weren't they!
-You WERE sent by Herr Falkstein?
-Yes. MY grandfather used to work for YOUR grandfather.
-Of course, the rates HAVE gone up.
I'm sure we'll get along splendidly.
I...er...don't mean to embarrass you, but I'm a brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I could help with the hump?
Oh. Thank you very much.
Walk this way.
-You'll be more comfortable in the rear.
-That's Inga. Herr Falkstein thought you'd need a laboratory assistant - temporary.
Hello! Would you like a roll in ze hay?
< It's fun!
# Roll, roll, roll, roll in ze hay! #
Sometimes I'm afraid of ze lightning.
Just an atmospheric discharge. Nothing to be afraid of.
-Why are you talking that way?
-I thought you wanted to.
-No, I don't want to.
-Suit yourself, I'm easy.
LOUD CLAP OF THUNDER
Well...there it is.
Why, thank you, Doktor.
Oh? That's all right.
There we are.
I am Frau Blucher.
How do you do? I am Dr Fron-kon-steen.
-My assistant, Inga. Inga, Frau Blucher.
-< TERRIFIED NEIGHS
What's got into them?
Your rooms have been prepared, Herr Doktor.
-If you vill follow me...
-Could you bring the bags?
-After you, Frau Blucher...
-< TERRIFIED NEIGHS
-< TERRIFIED NEIGHS
Follow me, ple-ease.
Stay close to ze candles. Ze staircase...can be treacherous.
Zis is your room, it was your grandfather Victor's room.
-Well! There ARE quite a few books!
-Zis was Victor's... the Baron's medical library.
-Where's my grandfather's PRIVATE library?
-What do you mean?
These books are very general, any doctor might have them.
-Zis is ze ONLY library I know of, Dr Franken-STONE.
Would the doktor care for brandy before retiring?
Some warm milk...perhaps?
No...thank you very much!
NOTHING! Thank you!
I'm a little tired!
-Then I vill say good night...
Good night, darling! KISSING NOISE
-Good night, Herr Doktor.
-Good night, Frau Blucher.
< TERRIFIED NEIGHS
WIND HOWLING AND EERIE VIOLIN MUSIC
HE MURMURS: No! No! No! No!
No! No! No! No-oo!
No! No! No! No! No!
I'm... I'm NOT a Frankenstein!
I AM NOT a Frankenstein!
I'm a Fron-kon-steen!
DON'T give me that!
I DON'T believe in fate!
I WON'T say it!
All right, you win, you win... again...
I'll say it... I'll say it...I'll say it!
DES-TI-NY! DES-TI-NY! No escaping, not for me!
DES-TI-NY! DES-TI-NY! No escaping, not for me!
DES-TIN....DES-TIN...Y! No escape...not...!
Dr Fronkonsteen, wake up!
-What is it?
-You were having a nightmare.
-What's that strange music?
-I have no idea.
But it seems to be coming... from behind ze bookcase!
Behind ze bookcase...?
Hand me that robe, would you, dear?
You were right, it's coming from behind this wall.
Where is it? WHERE is it?
-There's always a device. If I can find the trigger...
It's louder over here. Hand me that candle.
All right, I've figured it out.
Take out the candle, and I'll block the bookcase with my body.
-Listen to me... very carefully...
DON'T put the candle back!
With all your might, shove the other side of the bookcase.
Is that...perfectly clear?
I think so.
-Look! A passage vay.
-The music's coming from down there.
-I'd better take a look.
-Let me come with you, PLEASE!
-I don't want to stay here alone.
-Very well. Close your robe, and follow me.
-Doctor! Ze candle.
Good thinking. Let's try this one.
THE LURING VIOLIN PLAYS A TRANSYLVANIAN MELODY
Don't be frightened. It's just a rat.
A filthy, slimy rat!
# I ain't got NO BO-O-DY, and NO-BO-ODY cares for me... yackety-yackety yaah! #
-How did YOU get here?
Through the dumbwaiter. I heard strange music from the kitchen and followed it down.
Call it...a hunch!
-Zere must have been someone else down here.
-It looks that way.
There's the ONLY other door!
WAIT, master! It might be dangerous.
You go first.
Aren't there any lights here?
Two nasty-looking switches here... but I'm not going to be the first.
DAMN YOUR EYES!
So THIS is where it ALL happened...
-THE VOICE OF VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN:
-"Just think, the dead wait ready to live again.
"Look, no blood! Just a few sutures...
-"Throw the main switch!"
CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
What a FILTHY mess!
I don't know...a little paint, a few flowers, some throw pillows.
It looks as if our mysterious violinist has dis...a...p...
There's a light coming from behind that door.
This explains the music.
-It's still warm.
-WHO vas playing it?
-I don't know...
but whoever it was just put out his cigar.
Such STRANGE goings on!
-What is this place?
-AYE-GOR TWANGS VIOLIN STRINGS
Zere's nothing here, but books and paper.
Books...and...papers?! IT IS!
It's my grandfather's private library! I FEEL it!
LOOK at this!
"...Until from the midst of this darkness, a sudden light broke in upon me -
"a light so brilliant and wondrous, and yet so simple.
"Change the poles from plus to minus and from MINUS to PLUS!
I ALONE succeeded in discovering the secret of bestowing life!
"Nay, even more, I, MYSELF,
became capable of bestowing animation upon LIFELESS matter!"
TRIUMPHANT CLAP OF THUNDER
-Mmmm! Thank you, Doktor.
"As the minuteness of the parts were a hindrance to speed, I made the Creature of gigantic stature."
Of course! That would simplify everything.
-In other vords, his veins, his hands, his organs would be increased in size?
He would have an enormous schwanzstucker!
That goes without saying.
He's going to be very popular.
So then, what we're aiming for is a being approximately 7ft high,
-with all features congenitally or artificially proportionate.
-Would it look like...
You've caught something there.
Crude, yes. Primitive, yes. Perhaps even grotesque.
Yet something inexplicable tells me that this...
All right! That's good enough for the likes of 'im.
What a FILTHY job!
-Could be worse.
Could be raining.
-Need a hand?
-No, thanks, I have one. Thanks all the same.
JUST a moment, sir! I know everyone in this neighbourhood, but I've never seen you before.
-Can you account for yourself?
-Yes, I'm Dr Frederick Fronkonsteen,
-newly arrived from America.
-YES! I was told you were here.
I'm Constable Henry, sir. Pleased to meet you.
-How very nice to meet you.
-Why?! You're chilled to the bone!
-A nice warm fire is what you want.
-A nip from the old bottle wouldn't be a bad idea either.
-Yes! Just the ticket!
-If you have everything in hand, I'll say good night.
-At your service, sir.
-Good night, Constable.
-Good night, sir.
Oh, what an awesome sight!
What a profound and reverent night is this!
With such a specimen for a body -
all we need now is an equally magnificent brain.
-You know what to do?
-I've got a pretty good idea.
Didn't you...? Didn't you used to have that on the other side?
Oh, never mind.
-You have the name I gave you?
-I have it written down.
Hurry! We're fighting time and the elements.
-Are you ready?
-Are you SURE this is how they did it?
Yes! YES! It's all in the notes.
-Now tie off the kites and hurry down!
-What's the hurry?
There's the possibility of electrocution. Understand?
I SAID, THERE'S THE POSSIBILITY OF ELECTROCUTION. DO...YOU...UNDERSTAND?
I understand. I understand. Why are you shouting?
You...you tied off the kites?
-Check the generator.
-Aye-gor, release the safety valve on the main wheel.
Can you imagine the brain of Hans Delbruck in this body?
THIS is the moment!
-..are you ready?
Now?! Right here?
-Yes, yes. Raise the platform.
-Oh, ze platform. Zat, ya!
From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea
and shouted to the stars,
our greatest dread has been the knowledge of our mortality.
we shall HURL the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death!
TONIGHT we shall ascend into the heavens...
-A CLAP OF THUNDER
-..We shall mock the earthquake...
we SHALL COMMAND the THUNDERS,
and PENETRATE into the very womb of impervious Nature...
A CRESCENDO OF THUNDER
When I give the word, throw the first switch!
You've got it, master.
-WIND HOWLS LOUDLY
CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
Throw the second switch!
CRACKLE OF ELECTRICITY
-Throw the third switch!
-Not...the third switch!
THROW IT, I SAY! THROW IT!
LIFE! Do you hear me?!
Give my creation LI-I-I-I-I-F-F-F-F-E-E-E-E!
Turn everything off, and bring me down.
-Oh, Doktor, I'm sorry...
-No, no, be of good cheer.
If science teaches us anything,
it teaches us to accept our failures as well as our successes,
SON-OF-A-BITCH! BASTARD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!
-WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!
-STOP IT! You'll kill him!
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!
I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE!
Quiet dignity and grace(!)
This man is different, I tell you. You can see that by talking to him for five minutes.
He's a FRANKENSTEIN!
They're ALL alike!
It's in their blood. They can't help it.
All these scientists - they're ALL alike.
They say they're working for us, but what they really want is to rule the world!
That's enough! I do not want the meeting to become a free-for-all.
These are very serious charges!
All the more painful to us, your elders, because we still have nightmares from five times before!
Now, we haven't heard from the one man best qualified to judge the situation fairly.
Inspector Kemp! Will you talk to us, please?
A riot is an UGLY zink.
Und once you get von started...
there is LITTLE chance of stopping it...
short of bloodshed!
I zink zat before we go around killing people,
we had better make DAMN SURE of our evidence!
..ve had better confirm ze fact zat Dr Frankenstein is indeed
following in his grandfather's FOOT-STOPS!
Following in his grandfather's footSTOPS...footSTOPS!
Vhat is in order...
..is for ME to pay a little visit on ze good doktor...
und to have a nice quiet chat-t!
Oh, Doktor, you mustn't do zis to yourself.
You must stop thinking about it.
Look! You haven't touched your food.
Now I've touched it! Happy?!
You know, I'll never forget my old dad when these things would happen to him.
The things he'd say to me!
What did he say?
What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? GET OUT! Give someone else a chance!
Oh, maybe it's better this way.
The poor lifeless hulk... maybe he's better off dead.
-What is this?
Do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself.
Who are you talking to?
To you. You made yummy sounds. I thought you liked the dessert.
-I didn't make yummy sounds. I asked you what it is.
-I heard you.
-It wasn't me.
-It wasn't me.
Look here, if it wasn't you, and it wasn't you...
Alive! It's ALIVE!
-I'm going to set you free.
-(Is the sedative ready?)
You can do it!
-Oh, Doktor, I'm frightened!
Mmmmm! Mmm! Mmmm!
What's the matter? Give him the...
-QUICK, give him the...
-Give him the what?
Three syllables. First syllable.
-Head... Sounds like head!
Second syllable. Little word. Zis...zat...ze...?
-Said - a....?
-Said - a....?
Said a dirty word?
Give him a sed-a-give?
-OH, YES! Here it is! The sedative!
-On the nose!
-Oh, Frederick, are you all right?
-Would you excuse us one minute, dear?
-May I speak to you for a moment?
-Sit down, won't you?
-No, up HERE!
Now...that brain you gave me...
was it Hans Delbruck's?
Er...would you mind telling me...
I DID put in?
-And you won't be angry?
I'm sure that was the name.
ARE you saying...that I put... an ABNORMAL brain...
into a 7-and-a-half foot long...
Is that what you're telling me?!
-Quick, give him the...
Three syllables, yes.
-LOUD CLANGING >
-I wonder who that could be?
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
Inga, quick, see who that is.
YOU! Put that...THING back on the operating table.
And strap him down tightly!
-Where are you going?
-To wash up, to look normal, we've all got to behave normally.
This is the 20th century. Monsters are passe like ghosts and goblins.
NOT to ze people of zis village, Herr Doktor.
To zem it is a very real zing!
ESPECIALLY when zere is a Frankenstein residing in zis house.
I wouldn't think an intelligent person like you'd fall for that superstitious ROT!
It's not superstition zat worries me, Herr Doktor, it's genes and CHROMOSOMES.
So you might say, but zis is TRANSYLVANIA...
..Und you are...A FRANKENSTEIN!
-You seem upset by zis discussion?
-Not in the least...
I find it extremely amusing... that's all.
Well, this was fun, and now, if you don't mind, I'm a little tired.
May I give ze villagers your complete assurance,
zat you have NO interest WHATSOEVER in carrying on your grandfather's vork?
-May I take zat for a yes?
-You can find your way out?
Until ve meet again...
Drop by any time, we're always open.
Victor, ve have done it!
I'm going to set you free.
Would you like zat, my susser kopt?
They wanted to hurt you, but I'm going to help you.
Thank heavens that's over.
-< TERRIFIED NEIGHS
-Come NO closer!
-What are you doing?
-Setting him FREE!
NO! No, you mustn't!
Are you insane?
-He'll kill you!
-No, he won't, he is as gentle as a lamb.
Stand back! He has a rotten brain!
-It's NOT rotten, it's a GOOD brain!
-It's rotten! Rotten!
IXNAY on the OTTEN-RAY!
I'm NOT afraid. I KNOW what he likes!
-SHE PLAYS WISTFUL MELODY
YES! It's in your blood - in the blood of ALL Frankensteins! >
It reaches ze soul, when words are useless.
Your grandfather played it to his creature.
-Then it was YOU all the time?
-YOU played in the night!
-To get us into the lab.
-It was YOUR cigar?
-And YOU left my grandfather's book open for me to find!
-So I would...
-Then you and Victor were....?
YE-E-E-E-E-ESSSSSSS! SAY IT!
HE VAS MY BOYFRIEND!
Mmm! Mmm! Mmmmm!
You'll never catch him now!
DO-OOO YOU-OOO HEAR? FRE-E-E-EE!
GONE! GONE! We've got to find him! Do you understand?!
We've got to find him before he kills someone!
What have I done?!
Oh, God in heaven!
WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
# Oh, I love my pretty little flowers
# Oh, I love my pretty little flowers
-# Oh, I love my flowers... #
Ze monster is loose!
Ze boards must be tight.
Thank God you put Helga to bed. With monster rumours I don't take chances. I remember ze last time.
I told you I was turning ze roastbraten. Don't you remember?
I asked YOU to put Helga to be..!
Now blow a kiss and say bye-bye.
Oh, dear, nothing left.
What shall we throw in now?
Maybe she was in ze bathroom?
I didn't look upstairs, I thought you did!
You didn't look upstairs?!
VIOLIN MELODY PLAYS ON A GRAMOPHONE
A visitor is all I ask.
A temporary companion to help me pass a few hours of my lonely life.
Thank you, Lord.
-Don't speak. Don't say a word.
Oh, my joy, and my prize from Heaven!
You must have been the tallest in your class.
My name is Harold. I live alone.
-What is your name?
-I didn't get that.
Ohhhhh! Forgive me,
I didn't realise you're a mute.
You see how Heaven plans! Me, a poor blind man. And you, you a mute.
An incredibly big mute.
Your hand's frozen.
-How does a nice bowl of soup sound to you?
I...I know what it means to be cold and hungry and how much it means to receive kindness from a stranger.
-Are you ready for your soup?
Hold out your bowl, then.
-Come, my friend...
-You don't know what this means to me...
How long I've waited for the pleasure of another human being.
We forget the simple pleasures...
...That are the basis for happiness. Yes! Yes! Yes!
A little wine with your soup, huh?
-Mmmm! Mummm! Mummmmmm!
A toast....a toast...
to long friendship!
-How hungry you must have been!
Now I have a little surprise. I've saved it for a special occasion.
Fire is good. Yes, fire is good.
Fire is our friend. Yes, fire is good.
You see, you see?
Do you have your cigar?
Let me see...let me see.
Now... Now... Hold it right there.
Now, don't inhale until the tip glows.
Where are you going?
I was going to make espresso.
WISTFUL VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS
The sedative! The sedative!
I'm going in.
Bring me that candle!
Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature.
And I am going to CONVINCE him that he is loved
even at the cost of my own life!
No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you...
no matter how terribly I may scream,
DO...NOT...OPEN...THIS...DOOR, or you'll undo all I've worked for.
Do you understand? DO...NOT...OPEN...THIS...DOOR!
Nice working with you.
Let me out! Let me OUT! Get me the hell out of here!
WHAT'S the matter with you? I was JOKING!
Don't you know a joke when you hear one?!
Jesus Christ, get me out of here!
Open the door, or I'll kick your rotten heads in!
You're a good-looking fellow!
People laugh at you, people hate you, but why?
Look at that boyish face...
Look at that sweet smile.
Do you want to talk about physical strength?
Do you want to talk about sheer muscle?
DO YOU want to talk about the Olympian ideal?
And listen to me...
you are NOT evil.
-Oh... oh... This is a nice boy.
This is a good boy -
this is a mother's angel.
And I want the world to know...
once and for all, and without any shame,
that we LOVE HIM!
I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think!
Together...you and I...
are going... to make...the greatest contribution to science...
since the creation of FIRE!
Dr FRONKONSTEEN, are you all right?
MY NAME IS...
Distinguished colleagues, ladies and gentlemen!
It is my great privilege to introduce to you, a man whose family name
was once both FAMOUS...
And now, may I present to you, Doktor Baron Friedrich Von Frankenstein!
ONLY THE PRESENTER APPLAUDS
-My fellow scientists...
..And neurosurgeons, ladies and gentlemen.
A few weeks ago, coming from a background as conservative and traditionally scientific as you,
I began an experiment in -
incredulous as it may sound -
the reanimation of dead tissue.
What I have to offer you might possibly be...
the gateway to immortality.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present for your intellectual and philosophical pleasure,
Remain in your seats, I beg you. We are scientists, not children.
There is nothing to fear.
First, may I offer a neurological demonstration of the primary cerebellar functions -
balance and co-ordination.
Walk heel to toe.
Up until now you've seen the creature perform the simple mechanics of motor activity.
But for what you are about to see now we must enter, quietly, into the realm of genius.
Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames and messieurs,
damen und herren!
From what was once an inarticulate mass of lifeless tissue,
may I now present a cultured, sophisticated, man-about-town!
-MUSIC: "Puttin' On The Ritz"
-# If you're blue and you don't know where to go to,
# Why don't you go where fashion sits?
# Puttin' on the RITZZZZZZZ!
# Different types who wear a day-coat, pants with stripes or cut-a-way coat,
# Perfect fits...
# PuttiNNNNNNNNNG On the RITZZZZ!
# Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper!
# Tryin' mighty hard to look like Gary Cooper...
# SUPER-RRRRRRR DUPER-RRRRR!
# Come let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks or umbrellas in their midst
# PuttING-G ON THE RITZZZZZ! #
It's nothing...NOTHING, I tell you.
Come on! Do you want me to look a fool?
AUDIENCE BOO AND HISS
I beg you, don't humiliate him!
I will not let you destroy my work! I command you to come back!
Chained like a beast in a cage.
Oh, Doktor, I feel so terrible.
There's only one answer. If I could equalise the imbalance in his cerebro-spinal fluid,
he'd be as right as rain!
But how? HOW?
Before it's too late.
If ONLY I could relieve this torture you're going through.
-If there was a way...
-I could help you.
-If there was some way...
-I could relieve the tension...
-If I could give you peace!
Doktor, I have...
What is it?
Doktor, where are you?
A cable came while you were gone.
I thought I told you never to interrupt me while I'm WORKING!
I thought this vas an emergency.
-Your fiancee will be arriving ANY second!
Elizabeth here?! Tonight?!
I go to prepare her room - at once.
I suggest you put on a tie!
-Let's turn in.
I'm sure you're feeling tired. I'll pay the driver.
-Well... Let's turn in.
-Say nothing. Act casual.
I AM a bit tired, after all!
My assistants, Inga and Aye-gor.
How do you do?
How do YOU do?
-My financier, Elizabeth.
-I'm so happy to meet you.
-Darling, what is it EXACTLY that you DO do?
Well, I...er assist Dr Fronkonsteen in the lab.
-We have intellectual discussions. We were just having one...
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
-Aye-gor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
-You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban.
-Stop that. I meant the luggage.
Ladies, this way.
-It'll be a long night. If you need help with the girls...
< Settle down now.
We're gonna be PALS!
Nice and cosy.
Just like old friends.
-What's the matter?
-Are you afraid of fire?
-It can't hurt you. SEE?
Some monster you are. My mother vas right.
Little boys aren't supposed to play with fire.
-Cos they might get hurt!
A riot is-s an ugly zing!
But I zink it is time zat ve had one!
KILL THE MONSTER!
As heaven is my witness... (UP...)
He vill curse ze day he vas born
I said he vill curse ze day he vas born a Frankenstein.
BURN HIM! BURN HIM! BURN HIM!
Loose...he's broken LOOSE.
-You know what that means?
-Darling, you mustn't worry.
-I suppose you're right.
-Of course I am.
-Come along like a good boy.
-What would I do without you?
Is your room just down the hall in case I get the frights tonight?
Yes...but tonight... under the circumstances...
I might...stay here with you.
Would YOU want me LIKE THIS...NOW?
So soon before our wedding? So near that we can almost touch it?
YES! I DO!
Just wait a little while longer when I can give myself to you without hesitation.
When I can be totally, unashamedly, and legally yours.
-It's a tough choice.
-You're a tough guy.
-I suppose you're right.
-Of course I am. I always am!
Now give me a kiss and say good night.
-Good night, darling.
-Good night, sweetheart.
-I love you.
-I love you, too.
-You love me?
-I love you, honey.
-Sweet dreams, darling.
-Don't let the bugs bite.
Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm!
# He loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword
# His truth is marching on! Daaa daaa-la-da-da!
# Glo-ry, glo-ry, hall-e-lujah
# Glo-ry, glo-ry, hall-e-lujah. #
Where am I?
W...W...Who are you?
What d-d-do you want?
I'm not afraid of you.
Let me go. My father is very rich. You can have the world.
Listen! I HAVE to be back by 11.30. I'm expecting an important call.
-SPEAK! Why don't you SPEAK?
You CAN'T be serious?
OH, MY GOD!
I...I...I'm engaged, but I...I didn't. It was never..!
OOOOOH! OOOOHHHHHH! ARRRRRR!
# Oooohhh sw-e-e-e-t mystery of life At last I've fou-n-n-nd you-oooo
# Oooooooh at la-s-st I know the secret of it all! #
-A penny for your thoughts.
You're incorrigible, aren't you?
Mmmm, you little zipper-neck!
Seven has always been my...lucky number.
-Come over here, you HOT monster!
WISTFUL MELODY PLAYS >
-What is it?
-Is it that music?
Probably from a nearby cottage, nothing to worry about.
Where are you going?
You men are all alike! Seven or eight quick ones and you're off with the boys to BOAST and BRAG!
You'd better keep your mouth shut!
Oh, I think I love him.
WISTFUL VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS
FOOTSTEPS > Oh, look, he's coming back!
Keep playing! It's the music that's bringing him back!
COME ON! Come on! You can do it!
COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT!
Don't touch him!
-He wants to do it by himself.
Quick, catch him!
Have the preparations been made for the transference?
-Are you sure you want to do it?
It's the only thing that can save him.
You realise you're risking BOTH your lives?
SWITCH IT ON!
-How do we know when they're done?
-The doctor said 15 minutes.
NOT ONE second MORE or LESS!
ALL: KILL HIM!
-How long now?
-Two more minutes.
-What's that noise?
-I don't know.
-What time is it?
No! NO! Just another seven seconds!
NO! NO!! NOOOOOOOO!
Put that man down!
The monster? It is!
I said, put that man down!
Who do you zink you are, zat you order zese people about?
I am THE MONSTER!
I...I...I see you are ze Monster.
As long as I can remember, people have hated me.
They look at my face and my body, and they run away in horror.
In my loneliness, I decided that if I could not inspire love, which was my deepest hope,
I would instead cause FEAR!
because this poor, half-crazed genius has given me life.
He alone held an image of me as something beautiful.
And then, when it would have been easy enough to stay out of danger,
he used his body as a guinea-pig...
to give me a calmer brain...
and a...more...sophisticated way of expressing myself.
Zis is, of course, a different situation.
As ze leader of zis community, may I be ze first to offer you my hand in friendship?
-You are entirely welcome.
And now let us go to my house for a little sponge cake and wine.
To the lumber-yard!
FREDDY HUMS THE WEDDING MARCH
# De dum dum
# De dal da dum dum. #
MRS FRANKENSTEIN! What a beautiful name!
-Hold on to your hat!
I'll be right back!
Wow, wow, wow...
wow, wow, wow, wow, WOW!
# De dum de dum
# De dum de...
I'm holding onto it, darling.
< Just a few more seconds!
SHE HUMS THE WISTFUL MELODY # La lee la la la
# La de daa laa!
# La laaa dee laa!
# Las de da da dee
# La dee laa dee... #
# Laaaa laaa daaa dum... # Honey!
I hope you didn't find Daddy's party TOO boring. He did it JUST for you.
-Tell me you liked it.
Honey, did you see? I put a hamper in the bathroom for shirts,
and one for socks and poo-poo undies.
Here I come!
# Doo doo doo-oop dooo do!
# Der dooo doo der doooo!
Mmmmmmm! Ze feeling is mutual.
You know, it's a puzzle. There's something I've always wanted to ask you about that operation.
In ze transference part, ze monster got part of your wonderful brain,
but what did you get from him?
Oh, NO! OH! I DON'T believe it...OH!
Ahh! OH! OH! OOH!
# Oh, swee-e-e-t mystery of life At las-s-st I've fo-o-und you-oo! #
Celebratory parody of the 1930s Frankenstein films as the doctor's grandson inherits the creepy old Transylvanian estate.
Somewhat embarrassed by his family's dubious background, he arrives to find the castle inhabited by descendants of the hunchbacks, hags and wenches who populated his grandfather's unusual world. Overcoming his initial misgivings, he decides to piece together a creature of his own.