Houseguest

Line	From	To
Please, this way, this way!	0:00:15	0:00:16
Come along now. This way. This way.	0:00:18	0:00:21
Let's go. Come on. Walk with me.	0:00:21	0:00:23
Let's go.	0:00:25	0:00:26
Where is that Kevin Franklin?!	0:00:36	0:00:38
Bobby, get that quarter.	0:00:38	0:00:41
Get the penny. Get the quarter.	0:00:41	0:00:45
Kevin! >	0:00:45	0:00:46
Bobby, get out of the water.	0:00:48	0:00:49
It's not my fault, you made me buddies with Kevin.	0:00:49	0:00:53
I was helping him retrieve his glasses and he fell in.	0:00:53	0:00:57
It's a miracle!	0:00:59	0:01:02
I wished, and now my pockets are stuffed with coins! Halleluja!	0:01:02	0:01:07
Put it back now.	0:01:07	0:01:09
You think you're the only orphan that grew up in Pittsburgh?	0:01:09	0:01:14
No, just the poorest.	0:01:14	0:01:20
Well... Did you know he was an orphan too?	0:01:16	0:01:20
Wherever we go, there's an orphan.	0:01:20	0:01:28
Poseidon applied himself to something other than mischief,	0:01:23	0:01:28
and he became ruler of the sea.	0:01:28	0:01:30
-Who cares if he was -chicken -of the sea. When I'm big I'm gonna be rich.	0:01:30	0:01:36
(KIDS LAUGH)	0:01:36	0:01:38
When I grow up I'll be a millionaire drivin' a Porsche.	0:01:38	0:01:42
Hey, girl!	0:01:47	0:01:49
When I'm rich everyone'll brag about how they know me.	0:01:57	0:02:01
It'll be all over the radio.	0:02:01	0:02:03
Pittsburgh! This is your favourite station, WKFD,	0:02:03	0:02:08
with Kevin Franklin. Last night Kevin, our homeboy,	0:02:08	0:02:12
Cleaned up at the International Human Being Society Award.	0:02:12	0:02:16
Let's run that tape, Jim.	0:02:16	0:02:18
(BURBLES LIKE A TAPE REWINDING)	0:02:18	0:02:22
Beep!	0:02:22	0:02:23
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we honour a very special man.	0:02:23	0:02:27
This year our annual recipient has won the Nobel Peace Prize,	0:02:27	0:02:33
Pulitzer Prize, Businessman of the Year,	0:02:33	0:02:37
the Heisman Trophy,	0:02:37	0:02:39
the Paul Robeson Best Negro Actor of the Century,	0:02:39	0:02:44
and the Aunt Jemima Pancake Prize.	0:02:44	0:02:47
He ended world hunger, reversed the greenhouse effect,	0:02:47	0:02:52
and created a new flavour Pop Tart -	0:02:52	0:02:54
Spam/Salmon Croquette Tofutti.	0:02:54	0:02:57
His bank account is the size of four small countries,	0:02:57	0:03:01
but Kevin cares about the world.	0:03:01	0:03:04
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Kevin Franklin from Pittsburgh.	0:03:04	0:03:09
(IMITATES CROWD ROARING)	0:03:09	0:03:12
Oh, no. Thank you!	0:03:12	0:03:15
Ohhh...	0:03:15	0:03:16
I don't know what to say.	0:03:16	0:03:18
I've won many awards in my life,	0:03:18	0:03:21
but tonight is a very special night for me.	0:03:21	0:03:24
I'd like to start by saying... where's the cheque? Thank you.	0:03:24	0:03:29
If I could do it again, I would.	0:03:29	0:03:32
Not for free, but I'd do it again.	0:03:32	0:03:35
Honestly, people. Thank you.	0:03:35	0:03:37
I love you so much.	0:03:37	0:03:39
Thank you. I'll call you.	0:03:39	0:03:42
I can't wait to win the big money.	0:03:42	0:03:45
Everybody will ride with me then.	0:03:45	0:03:47
(CAR ALARM STARTS)	0:03:52	0:03:54
Yeah!	0:04:02	0:04:03
Time to go to school. Man, yeah.	0:04:03	0:04:07
So, Ralphie, that's juice, right?	0:04:07	0:04:10
Hey, wha's up? Hey, what y'all doin', man?	0:04:10	0:04:14
What y'all doin'?	0:04:14	0:04:17
-Who let this 50-year-old in here? -I'll give a little clinic.	0:04:17	0:04:22
Wha's happenin', man? My grandmother plays better.	0:04:22	0:04:26
Hold this.	0:04:26	0:04:28
Yeah!	0:04:28	0:04:29
Show them fools, Kev!	0:04:29	0:04:31
I would pull this out and go to your natural colour. But be what you are.	0:04:31	0:04:36
Have some activator. Catch y'all.	0:04:36	0:04:39
Yo, Kev!	0:04:39	0:04:41
-What? -Make that first million yet?	0:04:41	0:04:46
I'm on my way.	0:04:43	0:04:46
He's got tapes - Win A Million.	0:04:46	0:04:48
# I can't hear you. #	0:04:48	0:04:51
What say, brother?	0:04:51	0:04:54
You're gonna love this. Kevin!	0:04:54	0:04:56
Come here! >	0:04:56	0:04:58
Kevin, you hear me takin' to you? Stop!	0:04:58	0:05:02
Kevin!	0:05:02	0:05:04
(MARTIAL-ARTS-TYPE SCREAM)	0:05:04	0:05:06
Time for Cooking In The Kitchen with Kevin.	0:05:09	0:05:12
We have salt for the children, cholesterol for the adults,	0:05:12	0:05:17
fat for fat people, sugar for the sugarholics.	0:05:17	0:05:20
And for the grown folks, Mickey-Ds.	0:05:20	0:05:23
Big gulp for a big guy.	0:05:23	0:05:26
Ah, yes.	0:05:26	0:05:28
Shaft, about to make a million.	0:05:29	0:05:31
I'm gonna buy you a new crib, swimming-pool,	0:05:31	0:05:35
maybe get you a girl hamster. Yeah!	0:05:35	0:05:38
It's time to make money.	0:05:38	0:05:41
'..beautiful Waikiki Beach in Honolulu, Hawaii.'	0:05:41	0:05:46
-'Here's John Davidson. -Aloha!'	0:05:46	0:05:49
Aloha.	0:05:49	0:05:51
'Do what over 700,000 Americans have done -	0:05:51	0:05:57
'use Dave Del Dotto's wealth-building material.	0:05:57	0:06:01
'Restore your faith as we move to achieve our dreams.'	0:06:01	0:06:05
Sing, John.	0:06:05	0:06:07
"# And when your days seem cloudy	0:06:07	0:06:10
"# And you don't know what to do... #"	0:06:10	0:06:14
Hey, ho!	0:06:14	0:06:16
Hey, ho.	0:06:16	0:06:18
Go, John.	0:06:18	0:06:20
Get a hairbrush for your big hair. Scooby-dooby. Oooby...	0:06:20	0:06:24
Kevin!	0:06:24	0:06:26
-Just a minute. -Kevin!	0:06:26	0:06:28
-Shhh! -Why you think I'm wavin' at you?	0:06:28	0:06:32
It's heavy. It's yours. Take it, Kevin.	0:06:32	0:06:35
I'm tryin' to watch the tape.	0:06:35	0:06:38
It's great. It's Dave Del Dotto's...	0:06:38	0:06:41
They delivered this to me.	0:06:41	0:06:43
-What is it? -How do I know?!	0:06:43	0:06:46
I'm outta here. I'm not Latoya Jackson.	0:06:46	0:06:49
Wait, Larry.	0:06:49	0:06:51
I've been waiting for this!	0:06:51	0:06:53
This is it!	0:06:53	0:06:56
-Know what it is? -A waste of money.	0:06:59	0:07:04
You have no vision.	0:07:01	0:07:04
The entire '94 baseball season, right?	0:07:04	0:07:07
I got Ken Griffey Jnr, Barry Bonds.	0:07:07	0:07:11
People spend big money for baseball cards.	0:07:11	0:07:14
But if they get hurt it's worth even more.	0:07:14	0:07:17
I don't wanna see it happen, but if it does I get paid.	0:07:17	0:07:22
This is gonna be huge.	0:07:22	0:07:24
Large! Gigantic! Like all your other ideas, Kevin.	0:07:24	0:07:29
Is that any way to encourage your best friend?	0:07:29	0:07:31
I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask to be your best friend!	0:07:31	0:07:35
You get upset, see what happens? Now breathe. Breathe!	0:07:35	0:07:40
I don't wanna see you like this. This is gonna work out.	0:07:40	0:07:44
I feel it.	0:07:44	0:07:46
I gotta blood sugar dip. I need some dinner.	0:07:46	0:07:49
Dinner... I told Lynn I was gonna meet her!	0:07:49	0:07:53
Ouch!	0:08:01	0:08:02
(HORNS BLARE)	0:08:02	0:08:04
Hey, Lynn!	0:08:07	0:08:09
Hey, Lynn, how you doin'?	0:08:09	0:08:12
Nice meetin' you, everybody.	0:08:12	0:08:15
I can explain, OK?	0:08:15	0:08:17
You stood me up. You made me look a fool in front of my boss.	0:08:17	0:08:22
I can explain, all right?	0:08:22	0:08:24
-I'm gonna slap your face. -Don't slap me...	0:08:24	0:08:28
OW!!	0:08:28	0:08:30
Lynn!	0:08:30	0:08:31
Lynn.	0:08:31	0:08:33
This is not like the others. This baseball thing is gonna be big.	0:08:33	0:08:38
I want you to have the finest things in life.	0:08:38	0:08:43
Money doesn't buy love or happiness.	0:08:43	0:08:46
-It only buys things. -That's right!	0:08:46	0:08:49
Grow up!	0:08:49	0:08:53
I'm growin' now. See?	0:08:50	0:08:53
I'll change!	0:08:53	0:08:55
I'm tryin' to have an argument!	0:08:55	0:08:57
I'll get a regular job.	0:08:57	0:09:00
You're 35. You'll never change.	0:09:00	0:09:03
Lynn, if you drive away, I'll stand here pointing.	0:09:03	0:09:07
Lynn!	0:09:08	0:09:09
How can you say I don't care? I'm a better person now thanks to you.	0:09:21	0:09:28
Get the light. Come on!	0:09:45	0:09:48
-Hey, who is it? Pauly! -Get outta the way!	0:09:48	0:09:52
-Hey, Pauly. -Where's the dough?	0:09:52	0:09:55
-Where's Nicky? -Retired. This is my brother Joey.	0:09:55	0:09:59
-Hey, Joey. -Hey.	0:09:59	0:10:01
Hungry, big guy? I got these new Pop Tarts.	0:10:01	0:10:05
Oh, cool! With the frosting on top!	0:10:05	0:10:07
-I'm hungry! -Like always.	0:10:07	0:10:09
You never let me eat.	0:10:09	0:10:10
You're always stuffin' your face.	0:10:10	0:10:13
Where's the dough?!	0:10:14	0:10:16
-Is that all he can say? -Don't be funny.	0:10:16	0:10:19
Ooof! I don't feel funny.	0:10:19	0:10:22
Where's the dough?!	0:10:22	0:10:24
Fair question. I borrowed 5,000 and you want it back, right?	0:10:24	0:10:29
50,000. Interest and late penalties have accrued.	0:10:29	0:10:33
Accrued!	0:10:33	0:10:39
50,000? I guess that sign that said, "No questions asked"...	0:10:34	0:10:39
I guess I should've asked a coupla questions.	0:10:39	0:10:42
My businesses are in the start-up phase. I'm tryin' to make money.	0:10:42	0:10:47
I got somethin' here...	0:10:47	0:10:50
Baseball... America loves baseball. They buy...	0:10:50	0:10:54
You can smell the money.	0:10:54	0:10:56
Check it out, Joey, man. ..Or just chew the gum.	0:10:56	0:11:00
Get it out!	0:11:00	0:11:01
What's the matter with you? ..Listen, Franklin.	0:11:01	0:11:05
The way I see it. Correct me if I'm wrong, Joey.	0:11:05	0:11:10
We got two options. A - We give you another day.	0:11:10	0:11:15
B - We're gonna kill you right now, and save ourselves some aggravation.	0:11:15	0:11:20
I'm gonna go with "A".	0:11:20	0:11:22
SNORTING LAUGH	0:11:22	0:11:25
Come here.	0:11:25	0:11:27
What?	0:11:27	0:11:31
Get over here. Right now.	0:11:28	0:11:31
What's wrong with you?	0:11:31	0:11:37
I just thought that was real good with those options.	0:11:33	0:11:37
We're threatenin' someone. You're underminin' things!	0:11:37	0:11:40
Pauly!	0:11:40	0:11:41
I was gonna feed my hamster. You gotta feed 'em. They're sensitive.	0:11:42	0:11:47
What's the matter with you? I want 50,000 tomorrow.	0:11:49	0:11:55
Or you're dead. You hear me? Don't even think about skippin' town.	0:11:55	0:11:59
Sounds fair.	0:11:59	0:12:01
One-way to Nassau. Name?	0:12:01	0:12:07
Clarence Williams III. Yeah.	0:12:03	0:12:07
-Thank you, Mr Williams. -Thank you.	0:12:07	0:12:10
Shaft, you'll be the coolest hamster in the Bahamas.	0:12:10	0:12:14
I think we made it, man. Ha!	0:12:14	0:12:18
What?!	0:12:18	0:12:19
Oh, man!	0:12:19	0:12:22
You really disappointed us.	0:12:20	0:12:22
Yeah. Nice glasses, though.	0:12:22	0:12:25
I learned somethin' from this...	0:12:25	0:12:29
Shut up!	0:12:27	0:12:29
Choir, stay together.	0:12:29	0:12:32
Look! Denzel Washington!	0:12:30	0:12:32
SCREAMING	0:12:32	0:12:34
He's here! He's landed in the airport!	0:12:34	0:12:39
Sick pet. Look out, people.	0:12:39	0:12:42
Move!	0:12:43	0:12:45
Shaft, you're gonna have to help me, buddy.	0:12:59	0:13:03
Shaft, I said when the end came it'd be you or me. Well, it's you.	0:13:03	0:13:09
I love you. IT'S A RAT!!	0:13:09	0:13:11
There he is!	0:13:11	0:13:13
Get me through! Get me through!	0:13:19	0:13:23
-I almost saw him. -Whaddaya mean?!	0:13:29	0:13:32
I told him I'd pick him up here.	0:13:39	0:13:41
What does he look like, Dad?	0:13:41	0:13:43
He's around my age, black...	0:13:43	0:13:46
How tall, Daddy?	0:13:46	0:13:48
I don't know. It's been 25 years.	0:13:48	0:13:50
He was always so punctual.	0:13:50	0:13:53
I see him!	0:13:53	0:13:55
Wait a minute. Wait a minute...	0:14:00	0:14:03
Hey!	0:14:05	0:14:06
..Derek?	0:14:06	0:14:08
-That's right! -It's me!	0:14:08	0:14:11
It's you!	0:14:11	0:14:15
-How're you doing? -How're YOU doing?	0:14:12	0:14:15
-You look different. -I do?	0:14:25	0:14:28
When you haven't seen someone in that long,	0:14:28	0:14:31
you can look completely different.	0:14:31	0:14:34
-You haven't changed at all. -No?	0:14:34	0:14:37
I expected a more conservative look, but I like the earrings.	0:14:37	0:14:42
-Well, fraternity thing... -Meet Jason,	0:14:42	0:14:45
future basketball star, and Sarah, my little princess.	0:14:45	0:14:49
Hey, Jason, Sarah.	0:14:49	0:14:51
My wife couldn't make it.	0:14:51	0:14:54
Your wife? How is she?	0:14:54	0:14:56
Busy. Emily opened a yoghurt store a coupla years back, and it took off.	0:14:56	0:15:01
She's got 35 of those silly stores now.	0:15:01	0:15:05
That's nice. Hey, come on, Jacob.	0:15:05	0:15:08
-Jason. -Jason.	0:15:08	0:15:10
That's good. What?	0:15:10	0:15:12
Don't you have any bags?	0:15:12	0:15:15
Yeah, I got a bag... Right here. Here. Let's go.	0:15:15	0:15:18
Sorry I was so late. I remember how crazy you were about being on time.	0:15:18	0:15:23
We can make up for lost time.	0:15:23	0:15:26
We got a lotta catching up to do.	0:15:26	0:15:28
I cleared my desk so I'll have three days. We'll have a helluva weekend!	0:15:28	0:15:33
We will!	0:15:33	0:15:35
'Paging Mr Gary Young.'	0:15:35	0:15:37
That's my name.	0:15:37	0:15:42
Yeah, I know that... That was me.	0:15:39	0:15:42
What was you?	0:15:42	0:15:48
I had them page you, cos you were late, Gary!	0:15:43	0:15:48
-You should tell them you found me. -They'll figure it out.	0:15:48	0:15:52
Take the kids. I'll tell them.	0:15:52	0:15:55
No, no, no! You take the kids. I'll tell them.	0:15:55	0:15:59
I was rude. What was I thinking about? Jet lag.	0:15:59	0:16:03
Press on. We got so much to talk about. So good to see you.	0:16:03	0:16:07
Derek?	0:16:07	0:16:09
-Derek! -..Oh! Yeah!	0:16:09	0:16:12
Good to have you with us.	0:16:12	0:16:16
Yeah, right!	0:16:14	0:16:16
Derek Bond?	0:16:20	0:16:22
-Yes? -I'm Pete, Gary's personal assistant.	0:16:22	0:16:25
So?	0:16:25	0:16:29
Can I speak to you? Come with me.	0:16:26	0:16:29
You can't stay with Gary this weekend.	0:16:30	0:16:34
His wife's ill.	0:16:34	0:16:36
-..Botulism. -Botulism?	0:16:36	0:16:38
What about the thing I came to do?	0:16:38	0:16:41
It's a disease. The thing is off!	0:16:41	0:16:44
-Off! -Great. I didn't wanna do that damn thing anyway.	0:16:44	0:16:48
I hate those things. Is there anything I can do?	0:16:48	0:16:52
-Two things. -What? -They want you to wear this.	0:16:52	0:16:56
-I don't wear hats. -The woman's in a coma!	0:16:56	0:16:59
OK!	0:16:59	0:17:04
-And do not call the house. -Why not?	0:17:00	0:17:04
Sound triggers it, man.	0:17:04	0:17:06
Phone rings - vomitin', foamin' at the mouth. It's ugly.	0:17:06	0:17:11
That's ugly.	0:17:11	0:17:13
Gary will call when she's better.	0:17:13	0:17:16
Keep hope alive.	0:17:16	0:17:18
-Can you see him? -I see him.	0:17:18	0:17:21
-Oh, sorry. Wrong guy. -Me too.	0:17:25	0:17:29
Help!	0:17:29	0:17:30
Derek!	0:17:31	0:17:33
Coming, Gar!	0:17:33	0:17:35
HORNS BLARE	0:17:35	0:17:38
Comin', Gar!	0:17:45	0:17:46
Whoooo!	0:17:52	0:17:54
-What's the hurry? -Let's start the party!	0:17:54	0:17:57
-Jason, is your seatbelt on? -No.	0:17:57	0:18:00
We're not leaving till you put it on.	0:18:00	0:18:03
Jason took my seatbelt.	0:18:03	0:18:07
Give Sarah her seatbelt.	0:18:05	0:18:07
-Say you're sorry. -Do I have to?	0:18:07	0:18:10
-Yes! -Sorry!	0:18:10	0:18:13
Pauly!	0:18:16	0:18:17
-Gimme the keys! -You wanna drive?	0:18:17	0:18:20
Take a right out of the gate...	0:18:24	0:18:26
Whoooo! Some tight steerin'!	0:18:38	0:18:41
Safe car, too.	0:18:41	0:18:45
Cool!	0:18:43	0:18:45
FRANKLIN!	0:18:46	0:18:48
Oh, Franklin. Get the car, Joey.	0:18:48	0:18:51
-Pauly... -Get the car!	0:18:51	0:18:54
-Hey! That's my car! -That's my brother's car!	0:18:54	0:18:57
-Turn off here. -I can make it. -You can take the next...	0:18:57	0:19:02
All right!	0:19:05	0:19:06
You can't do this with an American car.	0:19:11	0:19:14
Boy, you have changed. You used to be so uptight when we were kids.	0:19:14	0:19:19
You used to lecture us on bicycle safety.	0:19:19	0:19:22
I haven't been the same since the accident.	0:19:22	0:19:25
What accident?	0:19:25	0:19:27
I was scuba divin' in the Cayman Islands.	0:19:28	0:19:32
We were after stingray and two great white sharks came out of nowhere.	0:19:32	0:19:37
Bam! Just attackin' us. It was like a scene off Jaws.	0:19:37	0:19:41
It was just blood and bones and butts, and everything was...	0:19:41	0:19:46
He bit my friend. His head came off! His eye was on me!	0:19:46	0:19:50
His eye was on me!	0:19:50	0:19:52
Oh, God...	0:19:52	0:19:54
Easy.	0:19:54	0:19:55
Ohhh...	0:19:55	0:19:56
My God!	0:19:56	0:19:58
I'm OK.	0:20:00	0:20:01
Well... This is great.	0:20:06	0:20:09
Yeah. This is great.	0:20:09	0:20:12
I mean...this is really great.	0:20:12	0:20:15
After all these years, it only took one call to get you to Pittsburgh	0:20:15	0:20:20
so we could rekindle that old friendship.	0:20:20	0:20:23
Well, Gary, friends don't grow on trees.	0:20:23	0:20:26
No, they don't. Remember how we always used to sing this song?	0:20:26	0:20:31
-# Good night, Irene, good night -..Irene...	0:20:31	0:20:34
-# Good night, Irene, good night -..Good night...	0:20:34	0:20:38
# Good night, Irene	0:20:38	0:20:41
# Good night, Irene...	0:20:41	0:20:44
# ..I wish I had some Dairy Queen! #	0:20:45	0:20:49
# I'll see you in my...	0:20:50	0:20:55
# ..dreams!	0:20:57	0:21:01
# ..Dreams. #	0:20:58	0:21:01
How's your wife? Heard she was ill.	0:21:01	0:21:04
-My wife? -Yeah. -Er...	0:21:04	0:21:06
She's dead, Gar.	0:21:06	0:21:09
What?! I just spoke to her yesterday.	0:21:09	0:21:12
I mean... She's dead inside... from the loss of our son.	0:21:12	0:21:16
Your son? He's at Princeton.	0:21:16	0:21:19
Yeah. We thought we'd lost our son to the Ivy League...	0:21:19	0:21:23
Oh!	0:21:23	0:21:25
-We misplaced him. -'Misplaced him?!'	0:21:25	0:21:29
If I don't get that money by the end of the weekend,	0:21:29	0:21:33
The Lotto's on.	0:21:34	0:21:35
Lotto?	0:21:35	0:21:37
'Win a million dollars!	0:21:37	0:21:39
'Let's see where it stops.'	0:21:39	0:21:42
-Hello? -Listen!	0:21:42	0:21:43
You'll be looking at the wrong end of an icepick. Very closely.	0:21:43	0:21:49
-We'll find him. -Gimme the pepper.	0:21:49	0:21:52
Happy's not happy.	0:21:52	0:21:56
Who is he, then?	0:21:53	0:21:56
Derek, thank you again.	0:22:06	0:22:08
You're welcome.	0:22:08	0:22:10
Thanks for doing this thing today.	0:22:10	0:22:12
The thing.	0:22:12	0:22:14
Well, I mean, how bad could it be?	0:22:14	0:22:17
When you stop and think about it, what is this thing, really?	0:22:17	0:22:22
Well, you're a braver man than I.	0:22:22	0:22:25
Sorry I'm late.	0:22:38	0:22:41
Derek, meet Nancy Pike, head of the school board, and my boss's wife.	0:22:41	0:22:46
Pleasure to meet you, but could I hurry you? You're a little late.	0:22:46	0:22:51
-This way. -Catch you later, buddy.	0:22:51	0:22:55
-Right up these stairs. -Listen... -Go through the curtain.	0:22:55	0:22:59
And here we are.	0:22:59	0:23:01
Derek, could you sit down there?	0:23:01	0:23:04
Gentlemen, we are about to begin. Would you please be seated?	0:23:04	0:23:09
Thank you.	0:23:09	0:23:11
Greetings, students and faculty. On behalf of the School Foundation,	0:23:23	0:23:28
I want to personally welcome all our distinguished speakers,	0:23:28	0:23:34
and all of you, to Career Day!	0:23:34	0:23:38
THIN APPLAUSE	0:23:38	0:23:40
Now, let me introduce you to our first speaker, Derek Bond.	0:23:40	0:23:45
Let me tell you a few things about Derek.	0:23:45	0:23:49
He has come a long way to talk to us today,	0:23:49	0:23:53
and he has had a distinguished career as a...	0:23:53	0:23:57
Um...	0:23:57	0:23:58
..a professional in his field. But I'll let him tell you.	0:24:00	0:24:05
Join me in a warm welcome for Derek Bond.	0:24:05	0:24:09
(No, you, Derek.)	0:24:11	0:24:13
(Now.)	0:24:13	0:24:15
There he is, honey!	0:24:16	0:24:18
I'd like to, er, thank Mrs Pike for the...welcomage addressing speech.	0:24:29	0:24:34
Um...	0:24:36	0:24:38
I had some notes... I need to go to the car. I had some notes...	0:24:38	0:24:43
Let the man with the high-water pants go first.	0:24:43	0:24:47
Now, Derek, you know you're just joking.	0:24:47	0:24:51
Your secretary sent your slides ahead of you.	0:24:51	0:24:54
-She did? -Harvey, start the slide show, please.	0:24:54	0:24:58
Your clicker. I know you know what to say.	0:24:58	0:25:01
We'll click 'em.	0:25:01	0:25:05
Thanks, Harv.	0:25:03	0:25:05
-Beautiful dress! -Well, here goes nothin'.	0:25:05	0:25:10
Oh, that's...	0:25:10	0:25:12
(ALL) Yeuch!	0:25:14	0:25:16
Hey!	0:25:16	0:25:17
Eurgh!	0:25:17	0:25:19
A sandwich is a sandwich but that's a meal!	0:25:19	0:25:22
Bleuch!	0:25:22	0:25:24
That'd be nice with a lemonade.	0:25:24	0:25:27
That looks like the inside of my refrigerator.	0:25:27	0:25:30
What is it?	0:25:30	0:25:32
Ugh!	0:25:32	0:25:34
Oh! Eugh!	0:25:34	0:25:36
Ooooh! Ohhh!	0:25:36	0:25:38
You've learned all I can teach you about my career.	0:25:41	0:25:45
It's time to have Dr von Fleisenberg,	0:25:45	0:25:48
the country's leading hair transplant scientist, to discuss...	0:25:48	0:25:53
Derek!	0:25:53	0:25:54
Thank you, Professor von Whatever,	0:25:54	0:25:57
but I'm sure we have time for just one question.	0:25:57	0:26:01
Oh, yes, Mr Ichabod, head of our science department.	0:26:02	0:26:07
Er, chapter five of your book.	0:26:07	0:26:10
You said there are things you would do differently if you could do them over again.	0:26:10	0:26:15
Meaning what?	0:26:15	0:26:17
-Chapter five? -In your book.	0:26:17	0:26:19
What I meant when I put that was... I padded the book immensely...	0:26:19	0:26:24
I'd eliminate chapter five. I wrote it to get to six.	0:26:24	0:26:28
You don't have any idea what you're talking about.	0:26:28	0:26:33
Listen here...	0:26:33	0:26:34
Since you know more about what I do than me,	0:26:34	0:26:39
come here, Mr Smartypants, Mr I-Don't-Have-A-Woman!	0:26:39	0:26:42
-Well, I... -Come and tell me, Mr Ickey-Body!	0:26:42	0:26:46
I'm waitin'. Hmm? Hmm?	0:26:46	0:26:49
-I... I'm sorry. -You -are -sorry.	0:26:49	0:26:52
There's a free Pearl Jam ticket inside each book.	0:26:52	0:26:57
Hey!	0:26:58	0:26:59
Help!	0:26:59	0:27:01
That was a great speech, Derek.	0:27:01	0:27:04
Anytime I can help out, just let me know.	0:27:04	0:27:08
Meet my oldest, Brooke. Brooke, sweetie, this is Derek Bond.	0:27:08	0:27:13
Hey.	0:27:13	0:27:14
And this is Brooke's...friend,	0:27:14	0:27:17
Steve.	0:27:17	0:27:18
Yo, my man. I told you, I ain't down with Steve.	0:27:18	0:27:22
Call me ST3, a'ight?	0:27:22	0:27:25
ST3.	0:27:25	0:27:27
Yo, G, your speech?	0:27:27	0:27:30
The butters, yo. The butters can't dig where zat!	0:27:30	0:27:34
You been droppin' serious science!	0:27:34	0:27:37
Peeps here don't know wha's up.	0:27:37	0:27:39
-Who? -Peeps. The people. -The people!	0:27:39	0:27:43
Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.	0:27:43	0:27:46
Anyway, we outy five thousand.	0:27:48	0:27:54
-You stay tan now. -All right, man.	0:27:50	0:27:54
-Comin', girl? -I'm right behind you.	0:27:54	0:27:57
Careful, hon.	0:27:57	0:27:59
Is, er, bro-man from around here?	0:27:59	0:28:01
He's the state senator's son.	0:28:01	0:28:05
Oh.	0:28:04	0:28:05
GIRL: Hi, Mr Young.	0:28:09	0:28:11
HORN HONKS	0:28:15	0:28:17
This is perfect.	0:28:26	0:28:27
We like to think of it as our little piece of heaven.	0:28:29	0:28:32
-Woof! -Hey, hey!	0:28:35	0:28:37
-Woof! -That's funny.	0:28:37	0:28:39
-Carl likes everybody. -Good dog, Carl.	0:28:39	0:28:43
Come on, Sarah.	0:28:43	0:28:45
Jason! How many times have I told you to pick that up?!	0:28:47	0:28:51
A lot, I think.	0:28:51	0:28:54
Probably several, maybe...	0:28:54	0:28:58
-Come on. -Come on, Carl. Let's go find a cat.	0:28:58	0:29:02
Come on, buddy.	0:29:04	0:29:07
Whoa.	0:29:13	0:29:15
Nice crib.	0:29:15	0:29:16
-Is my wife home? -She's on the phone, Mr Young.	0:29:16	0:29:20
I hope everything fits your dietary needs.	0:29:20	0:29:23
-That looks good. Can I try some? -Sure.	0:29:27	0:29:30
Eurgh!	0:29:30	0:29:32
What is that?	0:29:32	0:29:37
Puree of parsnip and crookneck squash.	0:29:33	0:29:37
-Only vegetables for the vegetarian. -I'm a vegetarian.	0:29:37	0:29:41
Your secretary faxed us the specifics on your diet	0:29:41	0:29:45
and we followed them to the T.	0:29:45	0:29:47
That's a load off my mind. Don't burn your fingers.	0:29:47	0:29:51
I don't know how you do it, Derek.	0:29:51	0:29:54
I could never say no to a big, juicy cheeseburger.	0:29:54	0:29:58
Just vegetables for me.	0:30:01	0:30:05
No! >	0:30:03	0:30:05
No deviations on the shop design.	0:30:05	0:30:08
Mommy!	0:30:08	0:30:09
Well, I felt very strongly about that.	0:30:09	0:30:12
-Well... -Mommy!	0:30:12	0:30:14
Cream sauce. Thank you.	0:30:14	0:30:17
Mommy!	0:30:17	0:30:19
Derek, Emily. Emily, Derek.	0:30:19	0:30:22
Sorry I wasn't at the airport. The kids and the party...	0:30:22	0:30:26
Mommy!	0:30:26	0:30:27
We opened three new yoghurt shops in Pennsylvania.	0:30:27	0:30:31
I told him.	0:30:31	0:30:33
Hold it. I'm right here. Wait!	0:30:33	0:30:36
I'd give you the grand tour, but I can't.	0:30:36	0:30:39
If you'd like to wash up, you can. Your room is upstairs on the left.	0:30:39	0:30:45
-Welcome aboard. -Nice to meet you.	0:30:45	0:30:48
I thought I made it pretty clear that...	0:30:48	0:30:51
Second door on the left, right?	0:30:52	0:30:55
Good to see ya, buddy. Hey, you forgot your bag.	0:30:55	0:30:59
Thank you.	0:30:59	0:31:01
Jordan for two! It's...	0:31:01	0:31:03
..not.	0:31:05	0:31:07
-Hey, Dad! -Just a second. -I just wanna show you something real quick.	0:31:08	0:31:13
-This is Molly's shot from three. -Show me what you got. -All right.	0:31:13	0:31:19
You'll have to work harder if you wanna make the big leagues.	0:31:23	0:31:28
Oh...	0:31:31	0:31:33
I'm home!	0:31:36	0:31:39
Yow!	0:31:39	0:31:41
Oh, yeah!	0:31:43	0:31:45
Pillow for me! La la la la!	0:31:45	0:31:47
Pillowman to the rescue!	0:31:47	0:31:50
Put de lime in de coconut and mix it all up.	0:31:50	0:31:54
Daddy said to give these to you.	0:31:54	0:31:56
Well, er, here you go.	0:31:56	0:31:59
-Will you teach me French? -French?	0:31:59	0:32:03
Daddy said you've lived in France.	0:32:03	0:32:08
Aren't you a little young for French?	0:32:05	0:32:08
-I already know some. -You do, huh?	0:32:08	0:32:12
-Bonjour is hello. -Tell you what...	0:32:12	0:32:14
-Au revoir is goodbye. -You are a Frenchwoman.	0:32:14	0:32:17
Comment allez-vous - how are you?	0:32:17	0:32:22
How about a game?	0:32:19	0:32:22
-What did Daddy say about me? -He knew you in summer camp.	0:32:22	0:32:27
-Right. -You live in Baltimore.	0:32:27	0:32:30
What do I do for a living?	0:32:30	0:32:33
You're a very successful d...	0:32:33	0:32:34
-(EMILY) Stop bothering Derek! > -Sarah!	0:32:34	0:32:38
Sarah!	0:32:38	0:32:41
Hey, buddy.	0:32:39	0:32:41
Better get ready for the thing tonight.	0:32:41	0:32:45
Oh, yes, the thing. Of course, the thing. I can't wait.	0:32:45	0:32:50
Me neither.	0:32:50	0:32:52
All right, let's see what we got. I don't care if it look good, just fit	0:32:54	0:32:59
Groverton Funeral Home? I'm dead.	0:33:07	0:33:11
You are grounded, young lady.	0:33:11	0:33:15
Go to your room for the rest of the night.	0:33:15	0:33:18
Great!	0:33:18	0:33:19
Let's be cool. Let's just do this.	0:33:29	0:33:32
How ya doin'? Hi.	0:33:37	0:33:40
May I have one of those big, fat...? Yeah!	0:33:41	0:33:45
-Hi. -Hi.	0:33:45	0:33:47
-Derek, meet a friend of mine, Tom Miller. -Hi.	0:33:49	0:33:53
Is that a burger behind your back?	0:33:53	0:33:59
Oh, this?	0:33:55	0:33:59
This steroid-filled, high-cholesterol beef!	0:33:59	0:34:02
You know what this does to the heart? I'm ashamed of you, Gary.	0:34:02	0:34:08
-We buy the best meat. -Sorry. I'm vegetarian.	0:34:08	0:34:11
I'd like to knock all this meat... Meat is so dangerous.	0:34:11	0:34:16
Tom chairs the chess, bridge and, of course, poker night down at the club	0:34:16	0:34:22
-What does that stand for? -Oh...	0:34:22	0:34:26
The Gaming Foundation of Harlem.	0:34:26	0:34:28
A charitable organisation, right?	0:34:28	0:34:31
You said it.	0:34:31	0:34:35
-Nice guy. -Oh, he's the genuine article.	0:34:31	0:34:35
GFH?	0:34:35	0:34:36
My grandfather... General Francois Heimlich-Manoeuvre.	0:34:36	0:34:41
Good guy.	0:34:41	0:34:43
-What is GFH? -Gemstones Furs and Haberdashery.	0:34:43	0:34:46
-Graduated from Oxford. -I went to Harvard. -Harvard Street!	0:34:46	0:34:51
-My gospel group - Godliness, Faithful and Honest. -Amen.	0:34:51	0:34:56
Geeks For Hire. You'd fit in.	0:34:56	0:34:58
-Gas From Humans. Girls From the Hood. Girls Feedin' Homies. -That's a joke?	0:34:58	0:35:03
# Godliness Faithful and Honest... #	0:35:03	0:35:06
Oh!	0:35:06	0:35:07
Good Fine and Healthy. And, baby, you it, you know?	0:35:07	0:35:11
Derek! Ronald Timmerman. Great to know you. I hear you're one of the top guys.	0:35:11	0:35:17
I just do what I do.	0:35:17	0:35:23
You must have heard of me. We have mutual friends.	0:35:19	0:35:23
I don't think so.	0:35:23	0:35:26
Timmerman.	0:35:24	0:35:26
Penn State. Hopkins. Had two papers published in the journal last year.	0:35:26	0:35:30
Oh, RON Timmerman! I thought you said Rob. Ron's like Rob.	0:35:30	0:35:34
Stuffed mushroom?	0:35:34	0:35:40
I'm in training. I'm a runner in the Sewickley 5K.	0:35:35	0:35:40
Derek! Having a good time?	0:35:40	0:35:43
Jerry Jordan, the J-Man!	0:35:43	0:35:49
I hear you're the best in your field.	0:35:45	0:35:49
Janey! Look at my wife.	0:35:49	0:35:52
Well, D-Man, what do you think?	0:35:52	0:35:55
Lucky man!	0:35:55	0:35:57
Can you do something for her?	0:35:57	0:36:03
Oh! Oh, I... Oh, I...	0:35:59	0:36:03
-I'd pay you. -You couldn't pay me.	0:36:03	0:36:06
You see the size of that moth? It's gonna get in someone's hair.	0:36:06	0:36:11
The guy's a hoot. You said he was a stuffed shirt.	0:36:11	0:36:16
Not since the accident.	0:36:16	0:36:18
There's a lot you should know about Derek. I'll tell you all about him.	0:36:18	0:36:23
-Did you go to summer camp? -Yes. -We went to Camp Mapleridge.	0:36:23	0:36:27
Same cabin both years. Legendary Cabin 6.	0:36:27	0:36:32
On Lake Caba... Cabaclou...	0:36:32	0:36:35
Some Indian name.	0:36:35	0:36:38
Derek taught me Spin The Bottle. Not with the two of us - with the girls.	0:36:38	0:36:43
Michelle Castel. I teach French. I hear you're fluent.	0:36:43	0:36:48
Bonjour, bonjour! Baisez moi!	0:36:48	0:36:51
Whatever Derek tried, he always pulled it off.	0:36:51	0:36:55
Mais, en marveil...	0:36:55	0:37:00
# Michelle, my belle! #	0:36:56	0:37:00
-So I wasn't surprised to hear he was a DDS. -DDS?	0:37:00	0:37:04
A dentist.	0:37:04	0:37:06
Did I use the term improperly?	0:37:06	0:37:12
No! But you don't use DDS once you graduate.	0:37:07	0:37:12
Not DDS. I'm a dentist! Gimme some!	0:37:12	0:37:15
I couldn't be prouder! I'll yell a little louder!	0:37:15	0:37:19
It's always nice to see someone who truly enjoys his work.	0:37:19	0:37:25
Sorry. I sell beautiful smiles. I just get excited.	0:37:25	0:37:29
How're you doin'?	0:37:31	0:37:34
Sorry I insulted you. You're so refined. Can I help you?	0:37:34	0:37:38
Go ahead.	0:37:38	0:37:43
I worked my way through dental school doin' this.	0:37:39	0:37:43
Mmm?	0:37:43	0:37:44
Ohhh!	0:37:46	0:37:48
Oh!	0:37:52	0:37:53
Sorry.	0:37:53	0:37:55
Need some help. Anyone got a hose?	0:37:55	0:37:58
Now for the thing we've waited for.	0:37:58	0:38:01
Derek, oenophile extraordinaire, will introduce my favourite wines.	0:38:01	0:38:06
But first, Derek, your comments.	0:38:06	0:38:09
Thank you, Gary.	0:38:13	0:38:15
Well...	0:38:16	0:38:18
We have some dark wines and light wines for...dark and light people.	0:38:18	0:38:23
This one here is a... Chattie Laffit.	0:38:23	0:38:26
This is a happy wine.	0:38:26	0:38:29
No sense holdin' the party up. Pass this round and drink up.	0:38:29	0:38:33
Don't you smell the cork? What about the nose?	0:38:33	0:38:38
What about the booty? You want the cork? Here.	0:38:38	0:38:42
Who are you to tell me - xylophone extraordinaire - how to taste wine?	0:38:42	0:38:47
Vincent Montgomery, wine critic for the Sewickley Register.	0:38:47	0:38:52
-PEOPLE MURMUR -May I? -You may.	0:38:52	0:38:56
Please.	0:39:01	0:39:03
SLURPING	0:39:19	0:39:22
I like my wine bright, rich, mature...	0:39:34	0:39:39
..developed, seductive,	0:39:39	0:39:42
with nice legs and a prolonged finish.	0:39:42	0:39:46
Sounds like you need a woman.	0:39:46	0:39:49
Some folks drink wine, some people date.	0:39:49	0:39:52
Gimme that bottle.	0:39:52	0:39:55
Drink up.	0:39:55	0:39:57
Why not drink it right out the bottle?	0:39:57	0:40:01
You wanna get a party started?	0:40:01	0:40:04
Out the bottle. You can do it.	0:40:04	0:40:06
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!	0:40:06	0:40:10
CHANT CONTINUES	0:40:10	0:40:12
THEY CHEER	0:40:14	0:40:16
This is a party, people. Drink up!	0:40:16	0:40:19
Hey, I'm here! Party in the crib!	0:40:32	0:40:35
DRUNKEN SHRIEKS OF LAUGHTER	0:40:35	0:40:39
I love you...!	0:40:41	0:40:44
I love you!	0:40:45	0:40:46
# She knows she's got everything	0:40:48	0:40:51
# That a woman needs to get a man	0:40:51	0:40:56
# Well, hang close	0:41:03	0:41:06
# She's mighty mighty!	0:41:10	0:41:13
# Aaaaooooow!	0:41:15	0:41:18
# She's a play house	0:41:21	0:41:25
# She's the one, the only one... #	0:41:25	0:41:31
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS	0:41:50	0:41:53
Our daughter is getting weirder and weirder.	0:42:00	0:42:03
She'll grow out of it.	0:42:03	0:42:05
Emily, don't you see what's happening here?	0:42:11	0:42:14
You gotta spend more time with the girls.	0:42:15	0:42:18
More time with them, less time with Emily's Yoghurt Madness.	0:42:18	0:42:24
It's a question of priorities, honey.	0:42:24	0:42:27
That's not fair.	0:42:27	0:42:32
At least Derek hasn't let success change him.	0:42:28	0:42:32
You'd never know he was a dentist. He didn't talk about work all night.	0:42:32	0:42:38
-That's because he's secure. -Meaning?	0:42:38	0:42:41
Mmm.	0:42:41	0:42:45
-You said -he's -secure. What do you mean?	0:42:42	0:42:45
Oh...	0:42:45	0:42:48
Well...	0:42:48	0:42:49
When I first met him I said, this is a guy who knows who he is.	0:42:49	0:42:54
He's comfortable with it.	0:42:54	0:42:56
Hmm. Comfortable.	0:42:57	0:43:00
Who's insecure?	0:43:06	0:43:07
Huh?	0:43:07	0:43:09
-You said -he's -secure. Who's insecure?	0:43:09	0:43:12
Who is "he"?	0:43:14	0:43:18
Look, I don't wanna argue with you.	0:43:15	0:43:18
Who's insecure?	0:43:18	0:43:20
-You said -he's -secure.	0:43:20	0:43:22
He is.	0:43:22	0:43:24
-I... -No, that's all right.	0:43:24	0:43:27
Thanks. So much.	0:43:27	0:43:29
Are we having an argument?	0:43:29	0:43:32
Sure you know what a Harley looks like?	0:43:34	0:43:37
Better not look like no Honda.	0:43:37	0:43:39
Just take a seat.	0:43:44	0:43:46
Buddy.	0:43:46	0:43:48
Wait your turn!	0:43:48	0:43:50
Next?	0:43:53	0:43:55
-Where's Franklin? -Who? -Franklin. -PHONE RINGS	0:43:55	0:43:58
He used you as a reference for a loan.	0:43:58	0:44:05
-I don't know... -Answer your phone.	0:44:01	0:44:05
Answer it!	0:44:05	0:44:07
What?!	0:44:07	0:44:09
-Where you been? -Thank God it's you... Mother.	0:44:09	0:44:12
-Man...! -She's been to Florida.	0:44:12	0:44:15
-Tell her to hurry up. -I'm stayin' with a family...	0:44:15	0:44:18
Come and get me right now, man.	0:44:18	0:44:24
No, no, no! Mom, er...	0:44:21	0:44:24
I will not come and get you,	0:44:24	0:44:26
because I have two very angry Italian customers	0:44:26	0:44:30
-'demanding service'! -They're there?	0:44:30	0:44:33
-Stay put, Mom. -What'll I do?	0:44:33	0:44:36
Be a good houseguest. If they ask you to do something, say, "Sure."	0:44:36	0:44:41
Maybe you can stay.	0:44:41	0:44:43
-Come on! -Sure. -Man?!	0:44:43	0:44:48
Gotta go. I love you, son.	0:44:45	0:44:48
-Pauly! -Mama-san... She's half Japanese.	0:44:48	0:44:52
Franklin?	0:44:52	0:44:54
-(HIGH VOICE) Where's my son? -Sorry, lady.	0:44:54	0:44:58
I need some Depends. It ain't easy in the bathroom.	0:44:58	0:45:02
Oooh, I done used the bathroom on myself!	0:45:02	0:45:05
Sorry, lady!	0:45:05	0:45:07
Ain't nothin' that'll make me give in my brother!	0:45:07	0:45:11
He's in Sewickley, stayin' with some folks he don't know as a houseguest.	0:45:11	0:45:16
Larry's my main man. He ain't gonna give me up. We like this.	0:45:16	0:45:20
Oh, man...	0:45:22	0:45:24
He's weak. He's neurotic. He gave me up! He gave me up!	0:45:24	0:45:28
I gotta get outta here.	0:45:28	0:45:31
Buddy?	0:45:38	0:45:39
Your breakfast of champions awaits you.	0:45:39	0:45:43
Morning, Derek.	0:45:43	0:45:44
Come on. Muesli, soya milk, papaya slices. I don't know how you do it.	0:45:44	0:45:50
-Me neither. -Well, it's commendable.	0:45:50	0:45:53
Kids, this is a free man. Derek and I cleared the decks for three days.	0:45:53	0:45:58
Wish your mother could do the same.	0:45:58	0:46:01
Steve and I are doing grave-rubbings today.	0:46:01	0:46:05
Honey, you can do that any time.	0:46:05	0:46:07
Dad, it's Memorial Day. It's a memorial tribute	0:46:07	0:46:12
to the great poets who gave so much at the expense of their own lives.	0:46:12	0:46:16
Edgar Allen Poe, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath.	0:46:16	0:46:20
It wouldn't kill us to spend time together like families do.	0:46:20	0:46:25
Right, Derek?	0:46:25	0:46:27
Um...	0:46:27	0:46:28
I...	0:46:28	0:46:30
Family togetherness is very important.	0:46:32	0:46:36
You're all ganging up on me!	0:46:36	0:46:38
Why can't you be normal? I can't stand it!	0:46:38	0:46:42
-Then again... -I'm sorry, Derek.	0:46:42	0:46:45
Look, everybody.	0:46:45	0:46:47
We can all do whatever we want today,	0:46:47	0:46:50
but tomorrow it's family day. We're spending it with our buddy Derek.	0:46:50	0:46:55
Great breakfast. But you can have too much of a good thing. Gotta run.	0:46:55	0:47:01
Speaking of which,	0:47:01	0:47:04
we have a little present for you.	0:47:04	0:47:06
Hope you enjoy them.	0:47:06	0:47:09
Thanks.	0:47:11	0:47:13
Whoa. These are nice!	0:47:15	0:47:18
Man...	0:47:18	0:47:20
How'd you know my size?	0:47:20	0:47:22
Eyeballed your dogs. Put myself through law school selling shoes.	0:47:22	0:47:27
-13E as soon as I saw you. -Yeah!	0:47:27	0:47:30
I signed you up for the 5K. It's to raise money for Sarah's school.	0:47:30	0:47:35
-Please, Derek! -No problem. If I'm still here.	0:47:35	0:47:39
-It's tomorrow! -I'm there.	0:47:39	0:47:42
-Great athlete. -What's your best sport?	0:47:42	0:47:45
I didn't have a best...	0:47:45	0:47:47
He was the Michael Jordan of camp.	0:47:47	0:47:51
-Could you teach me? -Derek's on vacation.	0:47:51	0:47:54
-We'll go to the country club. -Country club.	0:47:54	0:47:57
-Show me that famous golf swing. -Can't wait.	0:47:57	0:48:01
Gary, I can't believe you set me up like that!	0:48:01	0:48:06
I can't do this to these people.	0:48:06	0:48:09
-There are children here! -Sorry!	0:48:09	0:48:12
-OK... -Mr Good Guy! -La la la la!	0:48:12	0:48:15
Er...	0:48:15	0:48:17
Thank you for your hospitality.	0:48:17	0:48:20
Sorry if I've been any kind of inconvenience.	0:48:20	0:48:23
We're glad to have you.	0:48:23	0:48:25
Derek, you're the perfect guest.	0:48:25	0:48:28
I didn't mean to interrupt a family...	0:48:28	0:48:31
Whoa...!	0:48:37	0:48:38
Hey, Carl. Wassup? You know we're brothers. You're my main man!	0:48:45	0:48:50
-Woof! Woof! -Come on, Carl!	0:48:50	0:48:53
Stop! Stay!	0:48:53	0:48:56
Good dog, Carl.	0:48:56	0:48:58
Good morning.	0:48:58	0:49:01
How are you?	0:49:01	0:49:02
-CHOIR: -# You deserve a break today	0:49:06	0:49:10
# So get up and get away! #	0:49:10	0:49:15
May I take your order, please?	0:49:19	0:49:24
Big Mac, Quarter Pounder with cheese	0:49:21	0:49:24
Deluxe with cheese, cheeseburger,	0:49:24	0:49:28
a large order of fries, and a large Coke.	0:49:28	0:49:32
-10.87, sir. -Change that.	0:49:32	0:49:35
-Oh. -Quarter Pounder with cheese...	0:49:35	0:49:37
Large Coke...	0:49:37	0:49:40
..large fries.	0:49:40	0:49:41
-4.07, sir. -All right!	0:49:41	0:49:44
Thank you, sir.	0:49:49	0:49:51
-We're in the vicinity. -Vicinity? What's that mean?	0:49:51	0:49:56
Close.	0:49:56	0:49:57
-He's with a family in Sewicky. -Sewickley.	0:49:57	0:50:01
-Vicinity? -No exact address. -Pauly... -Shut up!	0:50:01	0:50:05
-What?! -Not you. Some Jehovah's Witnesses want the phone. Back off!	0:50:05	0:50:10
-See you. Bye. -Pinhead!	0:50:10	0:50:12
-What's the matter with you? -Franklin!	0:50:12	0:50:15
In McDonald's.	0:50:15	0:50:17
-You didn't see him! -I did! -What're you doin'? Get in the car!	0:50:17	0:50:21
Nice Porsche.	0:50:21	0:50:24
Hey, wassup?	0:50:33	0:50:34
Thought I missed somethin'.	0:50:39	0:50:41
How far can I get for a dollar and, er...	0:50:41	0:50:45
..33 cents?	0:50:45	0:50:47
Hello!	0:50:48	0:50:50
To Alaquipa.	0:50:51	0:50:54
Alaquipa? How far is that?	0:50:54	0:50:57
About a half a mile up the road.	0:50:59	0:51:02
Half a mile? Forget that.	0:51:02	0:51:04
Gimme one of those.	0:51:04	0:51:06
Don't go too fast. I don't want you to hurt yourself.	0:51:06	0:51:10
The newest game in town.	0:51:14	0:51:17
I feel mighty lucky, partner.	0:51:17	0:51:20
-I swear I saw him. -Where did you see him?	0:51:20	0:51:23
There!	0:51:23	0:51:25
I'll run him down!	0:51:27	0:51:29
Nice fence!	0:51:58	0:52:00
Sorry, lady.	0:52:06	0:52:08
HORN HONKS	0:52:11	0:52:13
Hop in. I've been looking for you.	0:52:13	0:52:16
We'll be late for tee-time.	0:52:16	0:52:19
What's with the suitcase?	0:52:19	0:52:21
I get a cardiovascular work-out with the weight.	0:52:21	0:52:25
Franklin!	0:52:25	0:52:26
-He got away. -My head don't hurt no more.	0:52:26	0:52:29
-How does it feel now?! Come on, before we lose him. -All right, Pauly.	0:52:29	0:52:35
There they go.	0:52:46	0:52:48
-All right, already! -Sorry, Pauly.	0:52:48	0:52:51
You're like a broken record, Joey!	0:52:51	0:52:54
This is a bad idea. I don't have my sticks or the right clothes...	0:52:54	0:52:59
The pro shop'll fix you up.	0:52:59	0:53:01
-No wallet. -It's on me, buddy. Come on.	0:53:01	0:53:05
# Lovin' life, lovin' life	0:53:05	0:53:08
# La la la la, la-la la la la	0:53:08	0:53:13
# Lovin' life, lovin' life	0:53:13	0:53:16
# La la la la, la-la la la la	0:53:16	0:53:21
# Oh, yeah	0:53:22	0:53:24
# Life is pleasure and the child of pain	0:53:29	0:53:33
# And so much better when you know the game	0:53:33	0:53:37
# If you're ready come and go with me	0:53:37	0:53:41
# Come on, everybody, laugh and sing	0:53:41	0:53:46
# You should be lovin' life, lovin' life. #	0:53:46	0:53:49
I look like Fat Albert.	0:53:49	0:53:51
There's a striking resemblance.	0:53:51	0:53:54
-Wow! This is somethin'. -Nice joint.	0:53:56	0:53:59
May we help you?	0:53:59	0:54:01
Just lookin' around.	0:54:01	0:54:03
-Considering membership? -Yeah.	0:54:03	0:54:06
-Which members are your sponsors? -The Miller... -Smiths.	0:54:06	0:54:11
The Miller-Smiths.	0:54:11	0:54:14
-You're acquainted with the Miller-Smiths? -Sure.	0:54:14	0:54:18
They're very nice people.	0:54:18	0:54:20
Very nice. Terrific.	0:54:20	0:54:22
I think we can arrange a tour.	0:54:22	0:54:25
-Follow me. -Thank you. -This way.	0:54:25	0:54:27
-Sorry we're late. -Still time for another Bloody Mary.	0:54:27	0:54:32
Poncho, another round of BMs over here.	0:54:32	0:54:35
-It's Pablo, Don. -Pablo, Poncho - who cares if the drinks are strong.	0:54:35	0:54:40
Mr Pike, this is Derek Bond. You know Ron, our family dentist.	0:54:40	0:54:45
Fellow dentist. That's marvellous.	0:54:45	0:54:48
-Slap me five there, brother! -Why don't I just slap you?	0:54:48	0:54:54
Where'd you find this boy?	0:54:54	0:54:56
-Boy? -He's pure gold, Jerry.	0:54:56	0:55:00
-Gary. -Good to have a man of your persuasion along.	0:55:00	0:55:03
Wrap these up, Poncho. We're teeing off.	0:55:03	0:55:07
Bring the clubs too. Come on, Poncho!	0:55:07	0:55:11
Stop thinking about those senoritas and let's go!	0:55:11	0:55:16
Mayor idiota!	0:55:16	0:55:19
You work hard for me, son, and I want you to know I appreciate it.	0:55:20	0:55:25
Thank you, Mr Pike.	0:55:25	0:55:27
The clients like you and you're always available when I need you.	0:55:27	0:55:33
-I try, sir. -I have a little secret.	0:55:33	0:55:35
We just signed a new client, Beaver Meadows, a frozen food conglomerate.	0:55:35	0:55:40
-Really? -They're branching out.	0:55:40	0:55:43
They're starting a yoghurt chain - 91 Choices - some crap like that.	0:55:43	0:55:47
But my wife is in the yoghurt business.	0:55:47	0:55:51
Great! You have the inside track.	0:55:51	0:55:54
The files are on your desk. First meeting - Tuesday morning.	0:55:54	0:55:58
Will we be ready?	0:55:58	0:56:01
Er... Yeah, we'll be ready. It's just, I have to...	0:56:01	0:56:05
We'll be ready.	0:56:05	0:56:08
-Are your balls dirty? -What?!	0:56:08	0:56:11
I wash my balls religiously.	0:56:11	0:56:13
I like 'em so clean you can feel every dimple.	0:56:13	0:56:17
-Thanks for sharing that. -Clean balls, clean play.	0:56:17	0:56:21
It's best to get it in the hole with the least amount of strokes, right?	0:56:21	0:56:26
-What?! -Lemme wash your balls.	0:56:26	0:56:28
-No way! -We'll wash 'em together. -Chill out!	0:56:28	0:56:31
I'll wash, you dry. They'll go further.	0:56:31	0:56:35
-You're about to get hurt. -Just unzip and pull out your balls. -Back up!	0:56:35	0:56:39
All right! Geez. Sorry. Suit yourself.	0:56:39	0:56:42
The Pink Terrace, named after Sir Jonas Pink.	0:56:49	0:56:52
-Love the colour. -Home of afternoon tea, exclusively for ladies.	0:56:52	0:56:57
-Afternoon, ladies. -Afternoon.	0:56:57	0:56:59
What kind of boring golf is this?	0:57:11	0:57:14
Ever play speed golf?	0:57:14	0:57:16
Like speed chess, right?	0:57:16	0:57:18
You know everything. We all tee off at the same time.	0:57:18	0:57:23
We all hit the ball at the same time, right?	0:57:23	0:57:27
Don't look at anybody else.	0:57:27	0:57:29
It's a great game. You ready? It's gonna be great. One, two,	0:57:29	0:57:33
three, go!	0:57:33	0:57:35
Nice shot, Mr Pike.	0:57:37	0:57:39
-Tough break, chip. -Let's go.	0:57:39	0:57:42
Come on!	0:57:42	0:57:44
-There he is! Show us the course. -Of course.	0:57:44	0:57:48
ALL SHOUT AND LAUGH	0:57:49	0:57:51
Come on!	0:58:12	0:58:14
Hit the ball!	0:58:14	0:58:16
HAPPY YELLS	0:58:34	0:58:37
Boy, this is a treat. This is our ninth hole.	0:58:38	0:58:42
Notice the slight dog-leg?	0:58:42	0:58:44
At the '72 Open,	0:58:44	0:58:46
Arnold Palmer made a hole in one.	0:58:46	0:58:49
I was just a boy, but it made an impact...	0:58:49	0:58:52
-Make it stop, Joey. -Whoa!	0:58:52	0:58:55
There he goes, Pauly!	0:58:55	0:58:58
Hey! This can affect your membership!	0:58:58	0:59:01
There!	0:59:01	0:59:02
Speed golf - we skip holes three to six.	0:59:02	0:59:06
Hold on, guys!	0:59:06	0:59:08
We lost Pike!	0:59:14	0:59:16
Stop that cart!	0:59:20	0:59:22
Must be some more guys playing speed golf.	0:59:25	0:59:30
They're shootin' us!	0:59:32	0:59:34
Mr Pike!	0:59:34	0:59:36
All right?	0:59:36	0:59:37
My damn tooth's broken!	0:59:37	0:59:40
-He needs a dentist. -You do it.	0:59:40	0:59:43
This is outta my area. I'd lose my licence.	0:59:43	0:59:46
You're the world-renowned dentist. I'll just watch.	0:59:46	0:59:50
Let a real dentist go to work. Step back! He could have a heart attack.	0:59:50	0:59:56
I've seen it before. Oh, this is bad.	0:59:56	1:00:00
-Say "Aaahh." -Aaahh. -This is bad.	1:00:00	1:00:02
-This man needs a Tic Tac. -Do you think the tooth needs to come out?	1:00:02	1:00:07
-What do -you -think? -I asked you. -That's why I have papers published.	1:00:07	1:00:13
-70 last year, to be exact, cos... -OK, I'll look at him.	1:00:13	1:00:17
-Mmm. -Mmm. He has a date with the tooth fairy.	1:00:21	1:00:25
Horizontal fracture with a periapical infection,	1:00:25	1:00:30
and pulpal necrosis.	1:00:30	1:00:32
He needs a root amputation to avoid periodontal trauma.	1:00:32	1:00:36
I'd administer 7.2cc of xylocaine with epinephrine.	1:00:36	1:00:41
But... What do you think?	1:00:41	1:00:43
Let me see that, Doctor.	1:00:43	1:00:46
Yeah, OK.	1:00:48	1:00:50
That's better than tyin' a string to a doorknob and slammin' it shut.	1:00:50	1:00:55
-Yes, Brenda? -Dr Timmerman,	1:00:59	1:01:01
you have a visitor.	1:01:01	1:01:04
Good.	1:01:04	1:01:06
I'll be right back.	1:01:06	1:01:09
You might wanna get washed up first.	1:01:11	1:01:14
Brenda, go! You're embarrassing me.	1:01:15	1:01:18
-Do your thing, Derek. -Hey, Gary!	1:01:18	1:01:21
I'll clean up.	1:01:25	1:01:27
We want Franklin! We want Franklin!	1:01:34	1:01:37
Franklin's up!	1:01:37	1:01:39
Have I got a surprise for you! Dr Walter Kraft!	1:01:39	1:01:43
-Who? -Pittsburgh Dental School. He's here with his class.	1:01:43	1:01:48
-Walter! -He's gonna watch you.	1:01:48	1:01:51
-Great! -When he heard you were here he came right over.	1:01:51	1:01:55
-Good. -You do remember Walter?	1:01:55	1:01:58
-Kinda... -He must've been teaching when you went through the programme.	1:01:58	1:02:03
-Teach... Oh! -Brenda!	1:02:03	1:02:06
-I didn't need classes. -Get some more anaesthetic, please!	1:02:06	1:02:10
No... Not now!	1:02:15	1:02:18
Nnngggh!	1:02:18	1:02:21
Shhh!	1:02:19	1:02:21
-Grrnnnngh! -Would you shut up?!	1:02:21	1:02:24
-Here he is! -He's ready.	1:02:26	1:02:29
Step in, everybody.	1:02:29	1:02:32
May I introduce to you Dr Derek Bond?	1:02:32	1:02:36
POLITE APPLAUSE	1:02:36	1:02:38
My brother. Wha's up?	1:02:38	1:02:41
Dr Kraft, here's your famous student.	1:02:41	1:02:45
Put on a little weight, eh?	1:02:47	1:02:51
Now that Dr Bond has anaesthetised the patient,	1:02:53	1:02:57
I will remove the maxillary right...	1:02:57	1:03:00
Could we see Dr Bond perform the procedure?	1:03:00	1:03:04
That's an excellent idea.	1:03:04	1:03:07
No, no, no. With all these malpractice suits runnin' around,	1:03:07	1:03:12
I get a headache just thinkin' about workin' in another state....	1:03:12	1:03:17
-Come on! -Stick your mitts in there.	1:03:17	1:03:20
There.	1:03:24	1:03:25
Well... Let's get to work.	1:03:25	1:03:27
All right.	1:03:32	1:03:33
I have small hands, so I developed the Derek Bond two-handed grip.	1:03:33	1:03:38
Always take your time.	1:03:38	1:03:41
Touch them to reassure that you're their friend.	1:03:41	1:03:45
I'm your friend. I'm your friend.	1:03:45	1:03:49
Hey, Derek!	1:03:51	1:03:54
Wow!	1:03:54	1:03:57
Oh, thank you...	1:03:55	1:03:57
Thank you.	1:03:57	1:03:59
-I want a list of members. -Every member!	1:03:59	1:04:03
Nnnnggghh...	1:04:03	1:04:04
Gimme it!	1:04:04	1:04:07
This'll take us right to him.	1:04:07	1:04:09
When I was a kid, feeling down...	1:04:09	1:04:12
..I'd come down here with one of these,	1:04:12	1:04:16
and things wouldn't seem so bad any more.	1:04:16	1:04:20
There's a lot of opportunity in yoghurt.	1:04:20	1:04:23
Beaver Meadows won't affect Emily's Yoghurt Madness.	1:04:23	1:04:27
A little healthy competition.	1:04:27	1:04:30
Derek...	1:04:34	1:04:36
What about your diet?	1:04:36	1:04:39
Sometimes my weaknesses get the best of me.	1:04:39	1:04:43
Don't judge me for this.	1:04:43	1:04:49
Judge you? I'm glad you're not perfect.	1:04:44	1:04:49
It makes me feel better about myself.	1:04:49	1:04:52
You got fries?	1:04:52	1:04:55
Yeah.	1:04:53	1:04:55
-It'll be our little secret. -Thank you, man.	1:04:55	1:04:58
It's funny how much simpler things seemed when we were kids.	1:04:58	1:05:03
-Those were the days, right? -Right.	1:05:03	1:05:06
Cabin six.	1:05:06	1:05:08
Cabin six.	1:05:08	1:05:09
-# Oh, Mapleridge, oh, Mapleridge -..Mapleridge...	1:05:09	1:05:14
-# We come to you each summer -..Summer...	1:05:14	1:05:18
# Oh, Mapleridge, oh, Mapleridge	1:05:18	1:05:22
-# Where all our friends are brothers -Doo-bee-doo	1:05:22	1:05:26
-# We like to ride a horse or two -Scooby-doo-bee	1:05:26	1:05:29
# Doo-bee-doo... #	1:05:29	1:05:32
Oh, man, I feel bad.	1:05:42	1:05:44
I mean, I invite you here, you make the trip, and now I have to work.	1:05:44	1:05:49
After 25 years of friendship? Come on, man, it can't affect us.	1:05:49	1:05:54
It's too deep, my brother.	1:05:54	1:05:57
You've been such a good sport about everything.	1:05:57	1:06:00
There's no place I'd rather be than here with you and your family.	1:06:00	1:06:06
Larry, I know you're there. Pick up the phone.	1:06:06	1:06:11
I'm talkin' to my imaginary friend Larry.	1:06:11	1:06:14
-Tea? -Tea? Yes.	1:06:14	1:06:17
Oooh, these cups are so big!	1:06:17	1:06:20
OW! THAT'S COLD!!	1:06:20	1:06:22
-Sorry! -Ow!	1:06:22	1:06:24
Ow! Ow! Ow!	1:06:24	1:06:26
Sarah, wait! Sarah!	1:06:26	1:06:29
Daddy, Derek's funny.	1:06:29	1:06:32
I'll see you guys at dinner.	1:06:32	1:06:34
-You were taking me to ballet. -You were taking me to basketball.	1:06:34	1:06:39
-You said I could work. -It's always me that takes off work.	1:06:39	1:06:44
What about that family solidarity day? You're making a huge effort(!)	1:06:44	1:06:49
-It's a competition? -No, that's not it.	1:06:49	1:06:52
-Go, Dad. -We can work this out.	1:06:52	1:06:54
-I'll dry this here. -Derek?	1:06:54	1:06:57
-You wouldn't mind? -Please, Derek!	1:06:57	1:07:01
No problem. I'll drive the car pool. I mean, how hard could that be?	1:07:01	1:07:06
OFF-KEY SINGING	1:07:06	1:07:09
Guys, that's my ear!	1:07:09	1:07:12
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS	1:07:12	1:07:14
Jason! Leave it on the soul station!	1:07:14	1:07:18
I said leave the radio alone, right?	1:07:18	1:07:21
We was there.	1:07:21	1:07:23
Uh-uh.	1:07:23	1:07:25
Sarah, stop! You're gonna make me have an accident!	1:07:25	1:07:29
Uh-oh.	1:07:29	1:07:30
Jason, time for a drivin' lesson.	1:07:30	1:07:33
Every young man should know how to drive.	1:07:33	1:07:37
The best part of bein' a kid.	1:07:37	1:07:39
-I'm 11. -I'll drive.	1:07:39	1:07:42
-I can't reach the pedals. -I'll do that.	1:07:42	1:07:45
-Scaredy-cat! -The light's green.	1:07:45	1:07:48
OK.	1:07:48	1:07:50
Pauly!	1:07:50	1:07:51
Follow 'em!	1:07:51	1:07:54
Loosen up a little. Become one with the road.	1:07:56	1:08:00
Not that loose!	1:08:00	1:08:02
Get back on the road!	1:08:03	1:08:05
Caress the wheel like you would a woman.	1:08:09	1:08:12
-I never caressed a woman. -What -do -you do?!	1:08:12	1:08:15
I play video games.	1:08:15	1:08:18
Come on, now!	1:08:18	1:08:20
You're losin' him!	1:08:26	1:08:28
Yellow light!	1:08:29	1:08:32
Red light!	1:08:32	1:08:34
Thanks.	1:08:36	1:08:38
Hi.	1:08:44	1:08:45
-Bunch of kids joyridin'. -What's the world comin' to, Pauly?	1:08:46	1:08:51
Thank you, Mr Apistophilis.	1:08:51	1:08:54
Who?	1:08:54	1:08:55
Stupid! He's the most major philosophist alive today!	1:08:55	1:08:59
I'm gonna split. Got some change?	1:08:59	1:09:02
For a call, in case the car breaks down.	1:09:02	1:09:05
-But that won't happen. -All right. See you later.	1:09:05	1:09:09
Hey, there's a pigeon. Check this out.	1:09:09	1:09:13
Can I get the ball?	1:09:13	1:09:16
Sorry.	1:09:16	1:09:17
Too late!	1:09:17	1:09:20
-Gimme the ball back! -Jason.	1:09:22	1:09:24
Problem?	1:09:24	1:09:26
Has Mommy come to wipe your nose?	1:09:26	1:09:29
Pickin' on little dudes? You just bad!	1:09:29	1:09:32
Can I see the ball? He's so strong.	1:09:32	1:09:35
Hey, tough guys,	1:09:35	1:09:37
how about we play basketball, us against all five of you?	1:09:37	1:09:41
(JEERING)	1:09:41	1:09:43
I really, really suck.	1:09:43	1:09:45
You do not suck. Never say that. Basketball's a matter of confidence.	1:09:46	1:09:51
I've watched you. You have game.	1:09:51	1:09:54
Relax. Stick your tongue out like Michael Jordan. Whose house is this?	1:09:54	1:10:00
Say it like you mean it!	1:10:00	1:10:02
-My house! -Whose ball is this? -My ball!	1:10:02	1:10:06
Let's go. I play better with somethin' at stake.	1:10:06	1:10:10
If you guys win, we'll give you...	1:10:10	1:10:13
-..that red Volvo over there. -But...	1:10:13	1:10:16
It's all right.	1:10:16	1:10:17
If we win, we get...your clothes.	1:10:17	1:10:20
Our clothes?	1:10:20	1:10:26
He's the genius. Let's make it, take it - if we score, we keep it.	1:10:21	1:10:26
Check. We're ready.	1:10:26	1:10:28
-There it is! -The Mailman!	1:10:28	1:10:31
Yes!	1:10:32	1:10:33
Four?	1:10:41	1:10:42
In your face, porker!	1:10:47	1:10:50
Sky!	1:10:53	1:10:55
Yes!	1:10:57	1:11:03
You did good. If you work hard, you might play with the Chicago Bulls.	1:10:58	1:11:03
-Really? -Mmm.	1:11:03	1:11:05
-Can we have our clothes back? -Best outta three?	1:11:05	1:11:09
-Nah. -Nah.	1:11:10	1:11:11
I threw that pass...	1:11:11	1:11:14
Gary, Beaver Meadows is going into yoghurt.	1:11:26	1:11:29
Wow.	1:11:29	1:11:31
And your firm is going to represent them.	1:11:31	1:11:35
-I didn't know. -Who's assigned to it? -Jerry?	1:11:35	1:11:38
-Yeah, Jerry. -Your best friend?	1:11:38	1:11:41
-Wouldn't he have called me? -PHONE RINGS	1:11:41	1:11:44
-The last thing Edgar Allen Poe ate was broccoli. -Then don't eat it.	1:11:44	1:11:49
I can't believe Jerry would do that to us.	1:11:49	1:11:53
Derek taught me how to drive today.	1:11:53	1:11:56
-Left turns are tough at 50. -Well...	1:11:56	1:11:59
Derek, it's Larry from the tattoo parlour.	1:11:59	1:12:02
Cool.	1:12:02	1:12:04
Oh, um... The cat's out the bag.	1:12:06	1:12:08
It was gonna be a gift to my hosts. I can't believe he just called.	1:12:08	1:12:14
'Larry from the tattoo parlour?!'	1:12:14	1:12:17
I been tryin' to call you all day!	1:12:17	1:12:19
You put me on your loan request!	1:12:19	1:12:22
Larry... Sorry, man. I'm under pressure.	1:12:22	1:12:25
-I got customers! -Come and pick me up.	1:12:25	1:12:29
I'm turnin' into Mary Poppins here.	1:12:29	1:12:32
-My God! -Larry, you there?	1:12:34	1:12:36
-We gotta talk! -Yes. No problem.	1:12:36	1:12:39
-9:30 tonight. -Where? -Micky-D's.	1:12:39	1:12:42
-Which one? -The only one. This is Leave-It-To-Beaver land.	1:12:42	1:12:46
Everything all right?	1:12:46	1:12:47
-Hurry? You don't tell -me -to hurry! I tell -you -to hurry!	1:12:47	1:12:52
-This -is a Harley. What the hell is -this?!	1:12:52	1:12:56
It's...a Harley...	1:12:56	1:12:59
..European style?	1:12:59	1:13:02
You really don't need to give us anything.	1:13:02	1:13:06
Derek, about Emily and this Beaver Meadows thing -	1:13:06	1:13:10
I want you to know that in 18 years of marriage I never lied to my wife.	1:13:10	1:13:15
-You don't listen, Mom! -Honey, wait! Time out.	1:13:15	1:13:19
You know, right before Anne Sexton killed herself,	1:13:19	1:13:23
her daughter promised to put Rats Live On No Evil Star on her grave.	1:13:23	1:13:28
That's a major thing to ask.	1:13:28	1:13:32
They must've had an amazing mother- daughter connection. Not like us!	1:13:32	1:13:37
What did you say?	1:13:37	1:13:40
Nothing. I didn't say anything.	1:13:40	1:13:43
I'm her mother, so I'm the enemy.	1:13:43	1:13:45
SHE SIGHS	1:13:45	1:13:47
Derek?	1:13:47	1:13:48
You seem to have such a connection with her.	1:13:48	1:13:53
Maybe you could talk to her.	1:13:53	1:13:58
Yeah, no problem. Sure.	1:13:55	1:13:58
# Feel the pain of everyone... #	1:13:58	1:14:01
Mind if I turn this down?	1:14:05	1:14:08
Hey.	1:14:08	1:14:10
Can I talk to you for a second? Oh!	1:14:10	1:14:13
Man!	1:14:13	1:14:14
I mean, what could be so wrong, OK?	1:14:14	1:14:18
You got this beautiful room here.	1:14:18	1:14:21
So bright and airy. You got great pictures of dead guys on the wall,	1:14:21	1:14:26
things I don't understand that you wrote...	1:14:26	1:14:29
Oh, and decapitated Barbie dolls.	1:14:29	1:14:32
You can't get much better than this, right?	1:14:32	1:14:35
Well... I'm sorry. I shouldn't joke.	1:14:39	1:14:42
Did I say somethin' wrong?	1:14:42	1:14:44
No, it's my dad and mom...	1:14:44	1:14:47
And Steve doesn't love me any more.	1:14:47	1:14:50
Steve. Are you sure?	1:14:50	1:14:53
Yes! He's been hanging in town every day with Kelly Friedlander.	1:14:53	1:14:58
And she's a lot prettier than me.	1:14:58	1:15:01
And you know, Derek... it just, it really hurts.	1:15:01	1:15:05
Come here. Listen to me, OK?	1:15:05	1:15:07
I can't see any woman bein' finer than you.	1:15:07	1:15:11
You're beautiful. You're just with the wrong guy.	1:15:11	1:15:15
None of the women I know would put up with his mess.	1:15:15	1:15:19
No?	1:15:19	1:15:20
Oh, no, no, no. No way. No how. "See ya."	1:15:20	1:15:24
Look, maybe you could just kill him for me.	1:15:25	1:15:28
You're playin', right?	1:15:28	1:15:31
You're playin' right?	1:15:31	1:15:34
Look, this guy is a slime-bag, and you know that.	1:15:35	1:15:39
A lot of guys would like to date you.	1:15:39	1:15:42
And there's guys you're interested in. I know there's a guy somewhere.	1:15:42	1:15:47
There's Charles...	1:15:47	1:15:49
I knew you had some guy in your pocket.	1:15:49	1:15:52
Tell me about Charles.	1:15:52	1:15:57
Charles Baudelaire? Poet of moral decay.	1:15:54	1:15:57
He would definitely understand me.	1:15:57	1:16:00
Look, you gotta get over this thing for dead guys.	1:16:00	1:16:04
Why don't we try some live guys? Charles Barkley.	1:16:04	1:16:08
He's like a poet. Seen his commercial?	1:16:08	1:16:11
We'll work on that dead-guy thing.	1:16:11	1:16:14
We'll get you to movies with guys that're breathin'.	1:16:14	1:16:18
And we'll get you some pastels.	1:16:18	1:16:21
There you go - meditation music.	1:16:21	1:16:23
You're gonna be all right, OK?	1:16:23	1:16:26
Remember - live guys. Breathin'.	1:16:26	1:16:30
(LAUGHS)	1:16:30	1:16:31
I'm so glad to be leavin' this place, man.	1:16:34	1:16:38
It don't make no sense, man. Flowers on the wall, like a child's room.	1:16:38	1:16:43
Take all day to make up this bed.	1:16:43	1:16:46
I'm glad I'm goin'. Little midget bed.	1:16:46	1:16:49
Why do I buy these things?	1:16:49	1:16:52
Big spin. Big spin.	1:16:53	1:16:57
Big spin.	1:16:58	1:17:00
Big spin...	1:17:00	1:17:02
YES! YES!	1:17:03	1:17:06
Oh, yes! I'm gonna be on TV!	1:17:06	1:17:09
Kevin Franklin in the house! I'm in the house!	1:17:09	1:17:12
-This is the way we... -Buddy?	1:17:12	1:17:15
..loosen up...!	1:17:15	1:17:18
Jason threw a basketball at my face.	1:17:18	1:17:21
-Some sort of bounce pass, or "checking"... -He's workin' his game.	1:17:21	1:17:26
Who's Kevin Franklin? You said he's in the house.	1:17:26	1:17:30
You busted me.	1:17:30	1:17:33
Kevin Franklin is a millionaire	1:17:33	1:17:35
and I often fantasise about being him.	1:17:35	1:17:39
I often pretend to be other people. You do that, don't you?	1:17:39	1:17:43
Well, yes, actually, I have.	1:17:43	1:17:46
I often fantasise about being Matlock.	1:17:46	1:17:50
There you go!	1:17:50	1:17:56
The thing I admire most about you is your honesty and openness.	1:17:51	1:17:56
The things you've shared with me.	1:17:56	1:17:58
You've made me a better person.	1:17:58	1:18:01
Thank you.	1:18:01	1:18:02
Thank YOU.	1:18:02	1:18:05
Get him! Get him!	1:18:07	1:18:10
Get him! Get him!	1:18:11	1:18:13
-Knock. -Just say please once! -Please. -Thank you.	1:18:13	1:18:17
You pain!	1:18:17	1:18:18
Oh... Hello, little girl. Is there a tall black man named Kevin here?	1:18:23	1:18:29
-No! -Please...	1:18:29	1:18:31
-Ow! -Got your fingers there, Pauly?	1:18:31	1:18:34
Run for your life! Smashed him!	1:18:34	1:18:37
-What is it now?! -Where is he?	1:18:37	1:18:40
Nobody does that to my brother Pauly.	1:18:40	1:18:44
Bad men! Mommy says you shouldn't play with guns.	1:18:44	1:18:48
-Aaaargh! -Aaaargh!	1:18:48	1:18:52
Whoa!	1:18:52	1:18:54
I'm dead, Pauly!	1:18:54	1:18:56
We got a snapper, Joey!	1:18:56	1:18:59
It's a ratmuller!	1:18:59	1:19:01
-Woof! Woof! -Aaaagh! -Aaaagh!	1:19:01	1:19:05
OK, tell 'em goodbye.	1:19:05	1:19:08
Whooooo! Your mommy's right - you should never play with guns.	1:19:08	1:19:14
-I'll get rid of it. -Derek, is your real name Kevin?	1:19:14	1:19:17
Hold that thought, OK?	1:19:17	1:19:20
GUN GOES OFF INSIDE	1:19:27	1:19:30
Watch TV!	1:19:30	1:19:33
What was that?	1:19:33	1:19:38
Two bad men came to the door, and I took their gun.	1:19:34	1:19:38
It was on the cartoon. It's so real!	1:19:38	1:19:41
Oh, I see!	1:19:41	1:19:43
-Move! -What?	1:19:43	1:19:45
-I'm goin' for a night jog. -Are you coming back?	1:19:47	1:19:51
-Kevin? -Huh?	1:19:51	1:19:54
I'm really good at keeping secrets.	1:19:54	1:19:56
-Woof! Woof! -Good dog, Carl!	1:19:59	1:20:02
What happened to your eye, Larry?	1:20:07	1:20:10
Lemme see that. What happened to you?	1:20:10	1:20:14
Some people don't appreciate art.	1:20:14	1:20:18
I guess not!	1:20:15	1:20:18
So... Where you wants me to drive, Miss Daisy?	1:20:18	1:20:22
Real funny, man. Just drive.	1:20:22	1:20:24
-I'm just tryin' to help. -Yeah, right.	1:20:24	1:20:28
Friendship is about give and take, but all you do is take, take, take!	1:20:28	1:20:33
Where'd you get the shoes? They're nice.	1:20:33	1:20:37
Yeah.	1:20:37	1:20:38
Yeah...	1:20:38	1:20:40
Stop the car, man. Stop the car!	1:20:43	1:20:46
-Stop the car now! -OK!	1:20:46	1:20:49
This makes sense now. Poseidon was an orphan too.	1:20:49	1:20:53
Can we go now?	1:20:53	1:20:55
Do you know the only difference between him and me?	1:20:55	1:21:00
He's Greek, he's white and he's a god.	1:21:00	1:21:03
He never passed himself off as someone he wasn't.	1:21:03	1:21:07
Remarkable insight! Now can we go?	1:21:07	1:21:10
He never let folks down.	1:21:10	1:21:16
If those Italians come again, I don't know you.	1:21:11	1:21:16
I got to go back, man.	1:21:16	1:21:18
What?! Why?!	1:21:18	1:21:20
He's in trouble. I'm his oldest friend.	1:21:20	1:21:23
You're PRETENDIN' to be his oldest friend!	1:21:23	1:21:26
He's still in trouble. And his daughter's messed up.	1:21:26	1:21:30
-So? -I lied to a child. I said I'd be back. You can mess a kid up, man.	1:21:30	1:21:36
Gimme the keys.	1:21:36	1:21:38
Kevin!	1:21:38	1:21:39
Kevin! You lie to everybody, man.	1:21:39	1:21:42
I've compromised myself as an artist and risked my life!	1:21:42	1:21:46
And this is how you pay me back!	1:21:46	1:21:49
Hey, brother, forget it. If you see me on the street, keep steppin'!	1:21:49	1:21:55
You don't get it, do you?	1:21:55	1:22:02
No! Why don't you tell me why the hell you're goin' back?	1:21:57	1:22:02
You said it yourself - all I've ever done is take.	1:22:02	1:22:06
Kevin needs this and this. Kevin gonna make a million dollars.	1:22:06	1:22:11
I thought if I made money, it would change how people thought about me.	1:22:11	1:22:16
Well, I was wrong, man. I learned somethin' here about friendship.	1:22:16	1:22:21
About our friendship. About the friendship I made with that family.	1:22:21	1:22:26
That's why I have to go back, Larry.	1:22:26	1:22:30
-I'll call you. -All right.	1:22:30	1:22:32
Friendships are about give and take, about compromise.	1:22:32	1:22:37
We enjoy a meal together like men are supposed to do.	1:22:37	1:22:41
We both chase women, but dogs don't even have to ask permission.	1:22:41	1:22:45
You just run 'em down and she's yours. Want some cake?	1:22:45	1:22:50
Thank you for coming in on a holiday like this.	1:22:50	1:22:54
I hope it wasn't an imposition.	1:22:54	1:22:59
No, it's...	1:22:56	1:22:59
There are faxes from your clipping service.	1:22:59	1:23:03
Ah!	1:23:03	1:23:04
HE WHISTLES	1:23:09	1:23:10
Wha's up?! ST3½! How you doin'?	1:23:26	1:23:29
Wha's up, kid?!	1:23:29	1:23:31
I been lookin' for ya! This your woman?	1:23:31	1:23:34
-This is Kelly. -Yeah, you kinda phat. -Hi. -Yo.	1:23:34	1:23:38
-She know what I'm talkin' about? -She ain't up. Not all of us are on.	1:23:38	1:23:43
-Wanna regulate? -Regulate? -Find some new hizzunies.	1:23:43	1:23:47
Lemme just deal with the thingy-thing.	1:23:47	1:23:51
Me and my boy gonna take a cruise. This cheek.	1:23:53	1:23:57
-Nice ride! -Word up!	1:23:58	1:24:00
-I wanna talk. -Wha's up, yo?	1:24:00	1:24:03
-About women. -Sookie!	1:24:03	1:24:05
Check this out.	1:24:05	1:24:08
Chill, B!	1:24:08	1:24:10
Say you're eatin' a chicken dinner - Brooke.	1:24:10	1:24:14
There's a truck, man! It's a truck!	1:24:14	1:24:17
Aaaaaagh!	1:24:17	1:24:19
Yo, B, we're on the train tracks, yo!	1:24:21	1:24:24
-These country roads all look the same. Where was I? -Chicken!	1:24:24	1:24:29
Say you're gonna make a gourmet meal. You've got some golden bird.	1:24:29	1:24:34
Free-range, no chemicals. It's a bad bird.	1:24:34	1:24:37
You smell it, so you can't wait.	1:24:37	1:24:41
So you go get yourself some Chicken McNuggets.	1:24:41	1:24:45
If you're hungry we'll go to Mickey-D's!	1:24:45	1:24:48
You missed the whole point here.	1:24:48	1:24:51
-We're doin' 50! I can't feel it. -I can!	1:24:51	1:24:54
-Cos your body's young. -I have a very young butt!	1:24:54	1:24:58
< TRAIN WHISTLE	1:24:58	1:25:00
There's a train!	1:25:00	1:25:02
THERE'S A TRAIN COMIN', B!	1:25:02	1:25:05
WHISTLE BLASTS	1:25:05	1:25:07
Train!	1:25:07	1:25:09
-I need my glasses. -There is a train!	1:25:09	1:25:12
-Train! -Brooke's that gourmet meal.	1:25:12	1:25:15
She thinks she's the only dish you have.	1:25:15	1:25:19
And you're goin' out with a Chicken McNugget.	1:25:19	1:25:22
Kelly's a greasy nugget!	1:25:22	1:25:25
It's unhealthy!	1:25:25	1:25:27
I'm gonna stop and look. This is some beautiful country.	1:25:27	1:25:32
-Where are you going? -We need to talk.	1:25:32	1:25:35
-I could maybe teach you somethin'. How old are you, man? -16, sir.	1:25:35	1:25:41
You have ragin' hormones. You wanna be a man.	1:25:41	1:25:45
-A man spends his life beggin'. -I'm begging for my keys!	1:25:45	1:25:49
Don't beg me, beg your woman.	1:25:49	1:25:52
-I will! -For forgiveness. -I will beg for forgiveness!	1:25:52	1:25:56
Aaaaaa-aa-aaagh!	1:25:56	1:25:59
You didn't have to worry about the train.	1:25:59	1:26:02
You're not from the 'hood, OK? Be yourself. Shall I drive or you?	1:26:02	1:26:07
I'll drive. You look shook-up.	1:26:07	1:26:10
How do I get back to town? This is a bumpy road, man.	1:26:10	1:26:14
JAPANESE VOICES SHOUT	1:26:17	1:26:20
Wha's up? I'm lookin' for Gary Young.	1:26:24	1:26:27
In the stacks. The only one here.	1:26:27	1:26:30
Gary?	1:26:30	1:26:32
# She's a brick haaaaooowse	1:26:32	1:26:34
# Mighty mighty Lettin' it all hang out	1:26:34	1:26:38
# She's a brick haaaooowse... #	1:26:38	1:26:42
Hey, Gary?	1:26:42	1:26:44
-What're you doing here? -I need to talk to you.	1:26:44	1:26:48
You're messin' up big-time.	1:26:48	1:26:51
-What? -Jason thinks he'll fail you if he's not another Michael Jordan.	1:26:51	1:26:56
Brooke hangs out in graveyards like a vampire.	1:26:56	1:27:00
They want you to say you love 'em.	1:27:00	1:27:03
When Emily hears you're representin' Beaver Meadows,	1:27:03	1:27:07
you'll be in the dog-house big-time.	1:27:07	1:27:10
She'll understand. I don't have a helluva lot of choice.	1:27:10	1:27:15
Gary, please, quit lyin' to yourself.	1:27:15	1:27:18
You're just sellin' your wife down the river.	1:27:18	1:27:22
I promised Mr Pike.	1:27:22	1:27:27
If you turn it down, he'll fire you?	1:27:24	1:27:27
Probably.	1:27:27	1:27:28
OK... You have less income. You'll still be rich cos of your family.	1:27:28	1:27:34
You'll be rich in love.	1:27:34	1:27:38
-Natural ingredients... -Mr Pike!	1:27:53	1:27:55
Mother and I were checking out the competition.	1:27:55	1:27:59
Jerry, my boy, hand me a napkin.	1:27:59	1:28:03
Hey!	1:28:03	1:28:04
It's Gary, not "Little boy".	1:28:04	1:28:06
Seven long years ago,	1:28:06	1:28:08
you duped me into believing I had a future at your firm.	1:28:08	1:28:13
But you'd never make me a partner!	1:28:13	1:28:16
Oh, and did I mention that you're a bigot,	1:28:16	1:28:20
and a back-stabbing buffoon?	1:28:20	1:28:22
Whoooo! Yes!	1:28:22	1:28:24
If you'll excuse me, I have a loving wife to whom I owe an apology.	1:28:24	1:28:30
Gary, this isn't like you!	1:28:30	1:28:33
-I know. -Come on, Mother. Let's go home.	1:28:33	1:28:37
Gary...	1:28:37	1:28:38
I have been such a... Well, the word "jerk" springs to mind.	1:28:38	1:28:43
I think I was picking on you because...	1:28:43	1:28:46
..I felt threatened by your success.	1:28:46	1:28:49
Gary...	1:28:49	1:28:50
Can you forgive me?	1:28:50	1:28:53
Of course.	1:28:53	1:28:54
But, honey... you just quit your job.	1:28:54	1:28:59
Well, I'm applying for a new one.	1:28:59	1:29:01
-Where? -Emily's Yoghurt Madness -	1:29:01	1:29:04
-fastest growing chain in the area. -Why do you think they'd hire you?	1:29:04	1:29:09
I'll take my chances, cos you're a brick haaaaooowse!	1:29:09	1:29:14
You might have soul after all!	1:29:14	1:29:19
Come here.	1:29:16	1:29:19
Ohhh!	1:29:19	1:29:21
Ohhh!	1:29:22	1:29:23
-Sucking up to the new boss, huh? -Old habits die hard.	1:29:34	1:29:38
-I'm not the good friend I seem. -No, you're better.	1:29:38	1:29:42
-No, seriously... -Don't go all mushy on us.	1:29:42	1:29:45
Look at Jason's skateboard!	1:29:45	1:29:48
Gary...	1:29:48	1:29:50
-Jason! -Gary...	1:29:53	1:29:55
Oh, God!	1:29:55	1:29:57
I don't care if you grow up to be a star basketball player,	1:29:57	1:30:02
as long as you grow up happy.	1:30:02	1:30:05
Dad!	1:30:05	1:30:06
What do you want?	1:30:06	1:30:09
Oh, Carl!	1:30:09	1:30:10
Three beautiful kids. Don't even try to run.	1:30:10	1:30:14
This guy is a pain in the neck.	1:30:14	1:30:17
Please stop these hostile and anti-social tough-guy antics.	1:30:17	1:30:21
See what I'm sayin'?	1:30:21	1:30:24
-You're Kevin Franklin. -Derek Bond DDS.	1:30:24	1:30:27
-Who's Derek Bond DDS? -He is. Derek Bond DDS!	1:30:27	1:30:30
-No, he's not! -Yes, he is!	1:30:30	1:30:33
-He says he's Derek. -He's an alien. He talks too much.	1:30:33	1:30:37
I am Derek Bond DDS.	1:30:37	1:30:40
I strongly suggest you lower that damnable weapon!	1:30:40	1:30:44
Joey, I gotta do it!	1:30:44	1:30:46
-Gary... -Wait. If you're Derek Bond,	1:30:46	1:30:50
then sing the Camp Mapleridge song.	1:30:50	1:30:53
-Yeah! -That was 25 years ago!	1:30:53	1:30:56
Uh-huh!	1:30:56	1:30:57
# Oh, Mapleridge, oh, Mapleridge,	1:30:57	1:31:00
# We come to you each summer... #	1:31:00	1:31:03
-Honey... -# Oh, Mapleridge... #	1:31:03	1:31:06
-Honey... -# Where all... #	1:31:06	1:31:08
GUNSHOT	1:31:08	1:31:09
This is asinine!	1:31:10	1:31:13
-He's an imposter. -At last - someone with sense.	1:31:13	1:31:16
I checked the dental registry,	1:31:16	1:31:20
and the photo of Derek Bond DDS shows a much uglier man.	1:31:20	1:31:25
You!	1:31:25	1:31:26
A great pleasure to meet the real you at last.	1:31:26	1:31:30
Ah. Well, gotta run.	1:31:30	1:31:33
-Uh-uh. -Gotta run. -Here, pal.	1:31:33	1:31:36
Franklin, let's go.	1:31:36	1:31:38
Wait.	1:31:38	1:31:40
Are you Kevin Whatshisname?	1:31:40	1:31:42
Yes.	1:31:42	1:31:44
I'm Kevin Franklin.	1:31:44	1:31:47
You lied to us?	1:31:49	1:31:52
We invited you into our home. We trusted you with our kids!	1:31:52	1:31:58
We... We played golf together!	1:31:58	1:32:01
And you lied to us.	1:32:01	1:32:03
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or your family.	1:32:05	1:32:09
I appreciate everything you've done for me.	1:32:09	1:32:13
All right! All right!	1:32:13	1:32:15
Enough sentiment! He lied to you. Big deal. Just...just forget it.	1:32:15	1:32:20
You're makin' me nuts!	1:32:20	1:32:22
Grab Franklin and let's go.	1:32:22	1:32:25
And, if I was you...	1:32:25	1:32:27
-"Were" you. -What? -The subjunctive. "If I WERE you." -I'm gonna kill him.	1:32:27	1:32:32
Brooke! Brooke!	1:32:32	1:32:35
Listen.	1:32:35	1:32:36
I've done a lot of things wrong and I apologise.	1:32:36	1:32:41
I treated you really bad and yucky.	1:32:41	1:32:44
I am begging you. There it is!	1:32:44	1:32:47
I'm begging you, a'ight?! I mean, all right?	1:32:47	1:32:51
Do you forgive me?	1:32:51	1:32:55
No way, no how. See ya.	1:32:53	1:32:55
No way, no how. See ya.	1:32:55	1:32:58
OK, Romeo, you're breakin' my heart.	1:32:58	1:33:01
What's going on here?	1:33:01	1:33:04
-I'll miss you. -I'll miss you too.	1:33:04	1:33:07
Beat it, kid.	1:33:07	1:33:09
I appreciate all you've done. Bye, guys.	1:33:09	1:33:12
Come on! My legs are killin' me.	1:33:12	1:33:15
Well...	1:33:15	1:33:17
You know, I haven't had a milkshake in three weeks.	1:33:17	1:33:21
I'll run in this race if it kills me.	1:33:21	1:33:26
Is the back door open?	1:33:28	1:33:30
Let's go!	1:33:30	1:33:32
< Get in the back.	1:33:32	1:33:34
Get in!	1:33:34	1:33:35
He really wasn't such a bad guy.	1:33:35	1:33:38
-He understood me. -He taught me the balance pass.	1:33:38	1:33:42
He watched cartoons with me. He made me stand up to my boss.	1:33:42	1:33:46
You!	1:33:46	1:33:48
Don't look at ME! I'm not a two-bit criminal into the mob for 50,000.	1:33:48	1:33:53
50 grand? That's all that's between my oldest friend and his life?	1:33:53	1:33:59
Franklin is your oldest friend?	1:33:59	1:34:02
That man bamboozled you.	1:34:02	1:34:04
He had good reason. I'm not a worm, dammit.	1:34:04	1:34:08
No-one attacks my friend. I'm going after him.	1:34:08	1:34:11
-JASON: I'm going too! -BROOKE: Me too, Daddy!	1:34:11	1:34:16
TYRES SCREECH	1:34:21	1:34:23
-Hey, Pauly. Pauly! -What, Joey?	1:34:28	1:34:32
POLICEMAN: You can't go there!	1:34:32	1:34:34
-You can't turn there. -Why not tell me before?!	1:34:34	1:34:38
-You never listen. -Shut up!	1:34:38	1:34:41
TYRES SCREECH	1:34:41	1:34:42
I gotta get through! After the race.	1:34:42	1:34:45
Hey, you can't leave your car here!	1:34:45	1:34:49
ANNOUNCER: Runners, to your marks.	1:34:52	1:34:55
Race time in five minutes!	1:34:55	1:34:58
Five minutes to race time!	1:34:58	1:35:01
Shoot him.	1:35:01	1:35:07
Yeah, Pauly, but not here, cos it'd be all messy.	1:35:02	1:35:07
We'll go to a car wash! Shoot him!	1:35:07	1:35:10
All right, proud runners of Sewickley, you are off!	1:35:12	1:35:16
STARTER GUN FIRES	1:35:16	1:35:19
-What was that? -We lost him again.	1:35:19	1:35:22
Sorry! Heh heh heh.	1:35:26	1:35:28
Come on, buddy.	1:35:28	1:35:30
Get 'em!	1:35:35	1:35:42
You need a number! Go get 'em!	1:35:38	1:35:42
TYRES SCREECH	1:35:42	1:35:44
There they are. This way.	1:35:46	1:35:49
Hey!	1:35:50	1:35:51
-Come on, let's go. -Course violation!	1:35:51	1:35:55
Come on!	1:35:57	1:35:59
There!	1:36:00	1:36:02
-I got cramp! -I know what you need.	1:36:03	1:36:07
I know these people.	1:36:13	1:36:16
In here. These people are friends of mine, so we'll just mingle.	1:36:16	1:36:21
Let's get some chicken.	1:36:21	1:36:24
You were running away. You stumbled on us.	1:36:26	1:36:30
You ended up helping us more than we helped you.	1:36:30	1:36:33
So come on. There's gotta be some way out of this.	1:36:33	1:36:37
Well...there's one way.	1:36:38	1:36:42
What?	1:36:41	1:36:42
Oh, it's pretty. Oooh, look, barbecue!	1:36:42	1:36:46
This ticket could be worth a million dollars.	1:36:46	1:36:49
Hello, girls. ..There he is!	1:36:49	1:36:52
For Christ's sake! Gary Young!	1:36:56	1:37:00
You cheater!	1:37:00	1:37:01
What's another 950,000?	1:37:01	1:37:04
You're still a rich man because of your incredible friends,	1:37:04	1:37:10
and your family - the Youngs. You're rich in love.	1:37:10	1:37:13
In a show of good sportsmanship,	1:37:13	1:37:16
the winners are Gary Young and Derek Bond!	1:37:16	1:37:20
Are you blind?!	1:37:20	1:37:22
When I'm through with you you'll be quivering on the highway.	1:37:22	1:37:27
Pauly!	1:37:31	1:37:32
Happy, I got him right here!	1:37:32	1:37:35
-He put me on hold! -Stick 'em up!	1:37:35	1:37:38
Not you! In the car.	1:37:38	1:37:41
Kevin! Kevin.	1:37:41	1:37:44
-I might have something you'd be interested... -Not interested.	1:37:44	1:37:48
-A lottery ticket. -Lotto Schmotto! -Lotto? Get it!	1:37:48	1:37:53
Lemme see. Happy, you're gonna be very happy. Extremely happy, Happy.	1:37:53	1:37:58
Whoooo!	1:38:08	1:38:10
Right!	1:38:10	1:38:11
Brand new car, same old driver. You almost totalled this car.	1:38:11	1:38:16
-That's how a Porsche parks. -Yeah.	1:38:16	1:38:19
Hey, hey!	1:38:19	1:38:20
-This paid for the car? -Success has advantages.	1:38:23	1:38:27
-This is a great house. -Respect for this house, OK?	1:38:27	1:38:31
Merry Christmas, everybody!	1:38:31	1:38:33
Barnes and Noble has been sold out of this for weeks.	1:38:33	1:38:38
Tellin' those stories again?	1:38:38	1:38:40
The whole book thing was my idea.	1:38:40	1:38:42
-It's A Wonderful Life on again? -The Big Spin.	1:38:42	1:38:46
-Three dumb guys could win a million. -America's wonderful!	1:38:46	1:38:50
'Pauly and Joey Gasperini.	1:38:50	1:38:54
'Where it stops, nobody knows.'	1:38:54	1:38:56
No!	1:38:56	1:38:58
No! No!	1:38:58	1:39:01
'Coming down...'	1:39:01	1:39:03
"A million dollars!"	1:39:07	1:39:09
'You jinxed me!'	1:39:13	1:39:18
Yes! Yes! Yes!	1:39:15	1:39:18
The greatest game in the world!	1:39:18	1:39:21
-Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas.	1:39:22	1:39:25
CARL BELCHES	1:39:28	1:39:30
Er...	1:39:30	1:39:32
This stuff is awfully heavy.	1:39:32	1:39:34
Let's get some grub.	1:39:34	1:39:37
# We wish you a chilliburger	1:39:37	1:39:41
# We wish you a chilliburger and mug of cold beer. #	1:39:41	1:39:44
# Load the grill with fatty meat	1:39:44	1:39:47
# Put it on a bun and eat, eat, eat	1:39:47	1:39:50
# French fries, the brown-skinned vegetable	1:39:50	1:39:53
# Cooked in a lot of grease	1:39:53	1:39:56
# All of the other nuggets	1:39:56	1:39:58
# Wished that they could be red meat	1:39:58	1:40:02
# Five onion rings	1:40:02	1:40:04
# Four dill pickles Three chocolate shakes	1:40:04	1:40:07
# Two apple pies	1:40:07	1:40:10
# And one big fat cheeseburger! #	1:40:10	1:40:14
Yeah!	1:40:14	1:40:15
# Patty melt, patty melt patty melt on rye	1:40:15	1:40:19
# Oh, what fun it is to scarf A great big plate of fries	1:40:19	1:40:24
# Chilli cheese, chilli cheese Chilli cheese on top	1:40:24	1:40:28
# Shove it down, eat it all Chow until you pop	1:40:28	1:40:32
# Cook it on the grill With a great big slab of Swiss	1:40:32	1:40:36
# Put it in a bun Oh, what happiness!	1:40:36	1:40:40
# Cheeseburger, cheeseburger burger all the way	1:40:40	1:40:44
# Oh, what fun it is to munch a cheeseburger today	1:40:44	1:40:49
# The first milkshake	1:40:50	1:40:53
# Was a creamy delight	1:40:53	1:40:56
# We sucked it down so fast	1:40:56	1:40:59
# That we burped it up all night	1:40:59	1:41:02
# Load the grill with fatty meat Cook it real fast and eat, eat, eat	1:41:04	1:41:09
# Pile on bacon and blue cheese Bag the diet and cheat, cheat, cheat	1:41:09	1:41:14
-# You'll be buyin' bigger jeans -Already got 'em, oversize	1:41:14	1:41:17
# We don't care if we get fatter Gimme one more piece of apple pie	1:41:17	1:41:22
# Drop the fries in a deep-fat fryer La la la la-la, la la la lard	1:41:22	1:41:26
# Watch the sizzle crisp and bubble La la la la-la, la la la lard	1:41:26	1:41:30
-# You'll be buyin' bigger jeans -Already got 'em, oversize	1:41:30	1:41:34
# We don't care if we get fatter Gimme one more piece of apple pie. #	1:41:34	1:41:39
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd	1:41:39	1:41:41

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