Lucky Partners

Washington Square.

HE WHISTLES A TUNE

Good luck.

I merely wished you good luck.

Why?

No reason.

Do you think I need it?

Oh, no. Not at all.

You mean...

You just wished me good luck for no reason.

For no reason at all.

I see.

Well, thank you.

HE WHISTLES

< Nicolai!

Hello, Nicolas.

Come here.

Come on!

What are you doing up steps?

The I. The I got loose in your name. I was fixing it.

-Something always happens to my name!

-Hello, Nick.

-Ticket? We ain't got many left.

-We ain't got many left.

-Ain't that what I said?

-Look, I'm off sweepstake tickets.

-I'm from the Book Nook.

-Yes, miss. I'll tell Madame.

-I can't...

-Sit for a moment, please.

Any man who'd do what he did to a woman is a beast!

But he used to be so nice!

Just sit down now, please!

< I'm going to telephone him!

< You are not! Start packing or you'll miss your train.

< Maybe he didn't mean it.

He meant it. No son-in-law of mine will strike a woman and get away with it.

Mother! Don't pack that dress.

Why not? Because HE picked it out. It reminds me of him.

I beg your pardon, Madame...

We're busy. A lady from the shop is here.

Well, I'll get rid of this. What are you going to do?

Send it back. I don't know what you'd do without your mother.

Take this to Lucille. I'm making her a present of it.

But I'm from the Book Nook.

All right, then. You keep it. I make you a present of it.

I couldn't accept.

Please do. It cost over 300.

It's never been worn. It's so lovely. >

Well... Thanks.

I really didn't expect it. I just came to deliver some books.

I'm sorry your husband hit you.

But he didn't. He hit me.

SHE WHISTLES

Yes.

Good morning. If you find anything interesting, the price is on the front.

Aunt Lucy, people could take your entire stock and you'd never know.

This passion for French novels! Shame on you.

I know they're not entirely moral.

The French always make everything so logical.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear!

Where in heaven's name did you get such a beautiful dress?

-Oh, it's lovely.

-Hold it. The funniest thing happened as I walked down the street.

-I passed a man...

-Was he good-looking?

-I didn't notice.

-Nonsense!

A man gives you a dazzling thing like this and you didn't notice him?

-He didn't give it to me.

-Please tell me how...

-I just passed him.

-On the street?

Yes!

Uh-huh?

Do you want to know what happened?

-If you'd rather not tell me, it's all right.

-You make me furious.

-I was going to deliver some books.

-Yes, dear.

-As I was delivering them, a girl walked up.

-The man's girl?

No. She had nothing to do with him.

Uh-huh.

Maybe I'd better tell you about this later.

Perhaps later it will all come back to you.

-There he is!

-Who?

-The man I told you about.

-SHE WHISTLES

Is that the man that gave you the dress?

He didn't give it to me.

If he didn't give it to you, what did he do?

He merely wished me good luck.

-Oh, he merely wished you good luck.

-Yes, that's all. Good...

Yes!

Yes!

Here, hold this a minute.

SHE WHISTLES

Can I...?

Hello.

Oh, hello. Can I see you for a minute?

-Certainly.

-I'd like to make you a proposition.

Good.

A business proposition.

Oh.

Well? Do you want to or don't you?

-I can offer you an open mind.

-Good, then I'll meet you down at Nick's bar.

-You!

-Me.

I might have known you'd find me.

And it's taken me three years to do it.

-What do you want?

-To talk to you.

I've no time and I'm not interested. You want me to come back?

Of course. Everywhere I go, people say, "Where is he? Have you heard anything?"

-That's very kind.

-You can step right back into your old position.

-Money and reputation redoubled.

-They don't interest me.

-What does?

-If I told you, you wouldn't understand.

What is this life you're leading? Caricatures at a dollar a throw.

-It's beachcombing.

-I know. I even began it in Tahiti.

I like it better in New York.

You feel bitter. You think of yourself as a jailbird.

No, I don't feel bitter. But I am in a hurry.

I have a date, on business, with a lady.

-A date, on business, with a lady?

-Yes, so if you'll forgive me. Or even if you don't...

Nick, I want to buy a sweepstake ticket.

-You said you was off them.

-I was.

Now she's on them! We're not to put people off them!

-She ain't off them now.

-Ain't that what I said?

-You're lucky.

-Why?

-We only got one ticket left.

-That proves it.

-What?

-A hunch.

-It's all you need to win.

Why don't we keep it?

If that ticket draws a horse, I'll carry you round the block. Piggy-back.

It's a bet.

Get training. That ticket's going to win.

What do I lose? He's been riding me for years.

The novelty would be that it's round the block.

-What nom-de-plume?

-Two strangers.

Uh-huh. Me and him got that.

-How about "Two Pigeons"?

-OK, "Two Pigeons".

-Here we are.

-My name is...

-Are you the other pigeon?

-I don't know. Who are you?

-I'm a stranger.

-Hi, stranger.

-I'm a stranger too.

-Salutations.

-My name is Jean Newton.

-My name is David.

-I'm sorry to interrupt you but I ought to tell you my name.

-Thank you.

Um... Don't you think we ought to sit down?

Yes.

-I hope you don't think this is silly.

-Not at all.

I'm...playing a hunch.

Has it anything to do with me?

Oh, yes. It all began with you.

This morning, you wished me good luck and I had some good luck.

So, I began to feel lucky. You know how those things sometimes happen.

-I hope this doesn't sound too complicated.

-Oh, no.

I want you to go in with me on a sweepstake ticket.

-On a what?

-A...sweepstake ticket.

Oh, I see. A sweepstake ticket. Mm-hm.

Well...

It was just a hunch.

You waved a dress at me. Was that something to do with this?

It was given to me after you wished me good luck!

-Extraordinary.

-That's where the hunch came from.

If you took half the ticket, you would bring more luck.

And if we should win...

..that would be...

very nice.

Mm. Quite.

-What do you want money for?

-I...plan to get married.

-A-ha! A fortune-hunter!

-He's nothing of the kind!

Why can't he take you as you are? As any decent man would.

It has nothing to do with him. He'd marry me today if I wanted him to.

It's private. What business is it of yours anyway?

-You came to me with a proposition.

-I just want you to go halves on a steepst... a stoops...

Oh, forget it. I'm sorry I brought it up.

-Just a moment, please. Why do people get emotional...

-I'm not!

..when they ought to be objective?

It was just a matter of putting up 1 a piece on a million-to-one shot.

One chance! Aren't you overlooking that? What about your hunch?

-What about it?

-Suppose we win.

Then I get married.

-And then what?

-We leave for Poughkeepsie.

On your honeymoon?!

No...We just plan to live there.

Well, what about your honeymoon?

That will have to come later.

Oh, don't you believe it.

-And why not?

-A honeymoon isn't something you put in storage, like a mink coat.

It just isn't the same moon. And it certainly isn't the same honey.

Here, Nick. Here's your ticket back. Forget about the whole thing.

You want to marry a man who, after a brief ceremony, will take you to Poughkeepsie and keep you there.

Give me a reason to be party to such a discreditable scheme.

-What man would demand a dowry? Is he French?

-Certainly not!

-I want the money myself!

-What for?

Because I want to be independent!

I make my own living. If I wanted to buy anything, I'd hate to ask someone for the money.

And it would be a help if things didn't go very well.

Yes!

What does your fiance do? Has he a job?

Certainly. He's an engineer.

Civil? Military? Mining?

-Insurance.

-This is the age of new professions.

Will my helping you get married bring you good luck?

You don't believe in money or marriage.

That institution, like the Coliseum, is still standing. But it shows the ravages of time.

Look, do you or do you not

care to purchase the other half of my ticket?

Money breeds avarice, cowardice, war.

Everything that spoils the charm of life.

But in this case, I might be persuaded to sacrifice my principles,

if I could do something valuable with my share of the winnings.

But what's to stop you?!

Only you.

-Me?

-I'll do it if you let me put my winnings

towards a proper honeymoon before you live in Poughkeepsie.

Oh... Oh, gee.

That's awfully nice.

Oh, but I couldn't let you pay for my honeymoon.

A pleasure. Honeymoons are one of the things I believe in.

Well, if you insist,

I'm sure I can convince Freddie.

Nick! The Roget, 1926.

Come on! Get the glasses!

Miss Newton, let us seal the bargain.

That's how a good business deal should go.

At first, a few little misunderstandings.

Each side trying to drive a hard bargain.

At last, things clear themselves up.

Differences are ironed out.

Frowns turn into smiles.

-And the little cork...

-CORK POPS

Exactly right. Let us drink a toast.

To what I confidently expect will be the most wonderful experience of my life.

To our honeymoon!

-What did you say?

-When?

Just then. Those last few words.

Did you say...

OUR honeymoon?

That's right.

-Would you mind waiting here for just a few moments?

-Of course.

-You'll be back?

-You can count on that.

PHONE RINGS

-Get the phone.

-Have you a couple of nickels?

Mm-hm. Nick and Nick.

NICK SPEAKS GREEK

..65 cents.

NICK REPLIES IN GREEK

..dinner's Russian.

NICK REPLIES IN GREEK

..lunch Italian.

-Say, where do you live?

-Across the street.

-You move in lately?

-Yeah.

-Uh-huh.

-How much do you weigh?

158.

Mm.

Could be.

Maybe.

Well, well!

Well...

This is Mr Freddie Harper. Meet Mr David...

-Mr David Grant.

-How are you?

How do you do?

Would you mind repeating to my...

-Shall we sit down?

-Why not?

Hi, Nick!

Have any fights around here?

-Every night.

-Like clockwork.

-Make yourself at home.

-Yeah, make yourself at home.

-Thank you.

Ain't that what I said?

Would you mind repeating to my fiance the proposition you made me?

Yes, what is the proposition?

Um... First, I'd like to point out it's your problem, not mine.

-Tell him what you told me.

-What's my problem, chum?

Miss Newton here tells me you plan to marry.

-I have every hope...

-Will you tell him?

Or are you afraid he will misunderstand, too?

Unless I'm a poor judge of character and intellect, Freddie will understand.

-Your problem...

-Leave his problem alone!

-Give the man a chance.

I just wanted him to go in with me on a...sweepstake ticket.

-Sweepstake ticket?

-And he insulted me.

-He did?

-He said that if we win,

I'd have to go on a...trip around the country.

What's the matter with that?

With him!

Before I marry you!

-He did?!

-Yes.

-Did you say that?

I did, but I was really thinking of you.

Oh, you were(?)

-Come outside.

-What can we do outside that we can't do here?

Plenty. Outside, chum.

Stay here, honey. This is not for your eyes.

This way, chum. In the alley.

You've got to get us some new glasses.

Want to play some chequers?

BOY WHISTLES

DOOR OPENS

-Jean...

-Oh, the poor fella...

-Your hunch...

-Oh! Didn't you...

-No, we didn't have to.

-Your hunch is that if Dave goes in on the ticket, you'll win?

-Yes.

Dave will go in on the ticket with you.

On what condition?

That you marry me, win or lose.

You said yourself that nothing can go wrong. It's the strongest hunch you've ever had.

If this hunch goes wrong, when will you ever get another one as good?

-We can't wait forever.

-No.

All right. I agree.

-It's a deal.

-It's a deal. Miss Newton, we'll make a list

-of the things we want to do on our trip.

-There! He said it again!

You misunderstood him.

-Yes...

-Let me tell it, pal.

-You tell it, pal.

He's an eccentric chap with peculiar principles that you and I don't understand.

He just wants to make people happy.

-He's not going to make me happy.

-Why not?

-You dare suggest that I go on a thing with a stranger?

-He says you'll travel as brother and sister.

-He just wants to be company for you.

-Huh! I'll say!

He's harmless. Look at him!

He was shocked when you jumped at the wrong conclusion.

Oh!

Now I suppose I owe you an apology?!

Oh, that's quite all right.

Honey, he'll show you the sights. The Mississippi, Grand Canyon.

But for my promotion, I'd like to make the trip with him.

All right, mister.

I'll get the ticket.

Hey, chum. What are the chances of winning?

Ten million to one.

-Are you sure?

-Suppose it's only a million?

What have I got to be worried about?

Now, non-de-plume,

two pigeons.

No. Just say, "Good Luck".

Wait a minute.

Put down, "You asked for it".

That's cute.

That's not bad.

First prize £30...

First prize £30,000!

Say, that's about 150,000!

It just occurred to me, who's going to hold the ticket?

-Freddie!

-With only this name on it, anybody can say "You asked for it" and walk out with the dough.

-Would it be too much bother for you to hold the ticket?

-Me?

-I trust him, don't you?

-I'd be glad to oblige.

-Wait a minute.

You asked for it.

Ah!

Looks as though you scored a touchdown that day.

All America, 1935. You tell him, honey.

Er... We went to school together.

A-ha, how cosy. Well, it's been a great pleasure.

And don't lose the ticket.

Good luck.

Very strange duck.

Just what kind of a duck does that make you?

Those aren't meant for you to look at. You or anyone.

Paul, you're crazy.

Either me or everyone else.

That's what the world and I couldn't agree on. Even jail didn't settle that for me.

-That's blown over.

-I know, but I like the way I'm living now. I like the view.

Are you in love with that Greenwich Village maiden? Is that it?

No. Love is something else I've given up.

Then what is keeping you here?

Among other things, the prospect of a journey.

Into the absurd with a delightful companion, no consequences and no regrets.

-A million-to-one chance, but it's worth taking.

-I give you up.

I rather hoped you would.

-Oh, Freddie, look!

-What's it all about?

-I knew he'd bring me luck!

-What did you say?

Hey, Jean. Your ticket drew a horse!

-Isn't that wonderful!

-But my horse talks. Talk, dummy!

The race isn't run until next week.

She drew a horse so the ticket is worth 12,000. If you want to sell, get in touch with the man.

12,000! Don't you think you should sell?

-I can't until I talk to him.

-Who?

-That fella.

-Wait till he hears about the 12,000.

-You'll miss your train.

-How can I go with this hanging over me?

Good evening.

He's lucky enough to draw a horse and all he says is good evening.

You heard the news? Good night.

-Wait! What's his name?

-David Grant.

-Come back, Dave.

-We've got to have a talk.

-Really?

That's no way to act, walking out like that. We have a problem.

-Have we?

-You're peculiar.

Isn't he, Jean? Popping in and out like that.

-I'm sorry.

-We haven't got just a ticket any more.

We've got a negotiable asset worth 12,000. Cash.

-Perhaps Dave... Mr Grant...

-I have to catch a train so I'll be brief.

We've got to make up our minds what we want to do.

Take the cash or risk it all to win 150,000.

Taking everything into consideration, we have to sell.

What do you say, Miss Newton? It's fair to warn you,

that selling won't furnish the honeymoon I hoped for.

-What?!

-I beg your pardon, what, what?

-You can't go through with a mad scheme like that!

-Why not?

It's impossible.

It will be misunderstood.

By whom?

Well... By everybody, that's by whom!

It's your opinion. A deplorable lack of confidence in Miss Newton.

In any event, I leave it to Miss Newton.

Jean, before you commit yourself,

there's more than one side to a question.

There's the short view and the...long one.

Not taking the cash now might be from one angle pleasant enough.

Suppose Patsy Q wins! How will we feel when, instead of a few thousand,

we might have 150,000.

Let's take a chance and play for big stakes! What do you say?

I say nothing.

I leave it entirely up to Mr Grant.

How about it, Dave?

If we sell now, we'll get something out of it.

Perhaps not a glorious safari, but something.

But if we gamble and lose,

which is theoretically not unlikely...

What's the answer?

-Er... Let's gamble.

-Great! That's great!

Then it's all settled.

Who... I've got to catch my train and I'm late.

I'll take a taxi to 14th Street.

Will my honey miss her boy alone in Poughkeepsie?

-Goodbye.

-Don't miss your train.

Bye, chum. I hope we didn't make a mistake.

-Goodbye, honey.

-Bye-bye.

See you at the races.

Miss Newton.

Just a minute.

I'd like to ask you, why didn't you want to sell?

-Would you rather have a smaller excursion?

-Don't be silly.

-That's why I didn't sell. To please you.

-Me?

To please both of us. The trip will take a lot of money.

JEAN GASPS

Oh...

What kind of a man are you?

-I like to travel.

-What makes you think I'd go with you anyway?

It almost escaped me until I looked a little closer.

-What?

-An adventurous little twinkle in your right eye.

You're crazy.

You are crazy!

I am a perfectly conventional person. Straight-laced!

-But you're not dull.

-I am.

I am! I could be the dullest person you ever met!

My dear Miss Newton, would you allow me to take the risk?

Good night.

CHEERING

RADIO: 'Epsom Downs! England's sporting event of the year!

'Rules prohibit broadcasting the race in this country.

'Before the results, a musical interlude.'

I never heard of such a thing!

-MUSIC ON RADIO

-I'll go.

Oh, it's you! It's him!

May a neighbour listen in?

-Certainly. We take you for a very interesting man.

-How right you are.

-Don't be frightened. He won't bite.

-I don't know.

-We think you have a very fine head.

-Lucy!

At my age, one is permitted to say it.

TRUMPET FANFARE ON RADIO

'Now the results of the derby!'

Come on, Patsy Q! 'The winner...

'Swansong.

'Second, Plum Tree. Third,

'Bonnie May. Fourth,

'King Perry.'

I guess I'd better be going.

At least we won't have to pose for the newsreels.

Cheer up, Aunt Lucy. Maybe it's just as well.

Perhaps for you. But you know, I'm sorry she missed that trip with you.

I appreciate the very nice compliment.

Aren't you even sorry?

Of course I'm sorry. I've been stupid.

I am stupid. Very stupid.

PHONE RINGS

Yes? Oh, hello, Freddie.

Honey, I suppose you just heard the news.

-Yes.

-Too bad, huh? Well, didn't you get it?

-What?

-You mean to tell me... Didn't they deliver an envelope?

Envelope? Who?

Oh, well, here they come now.

Jean, we were supposed to deliver this to you at one o'clock!

-One o'clock on the dot.

-What is it?

-Ten hey!

-Ten hey!

Well, what is...?

-What is it, dear?

-Freddie's on the phone.

Where did it come from?

-Did you count it?

-Count it. Whose is it?

It's ours! I sold our...your half of the ticket.

My half! He sold half the ticket.

Sure, six thousand bucks.

Did you think I'd let that guy go off with my girl?

Freddie,

we went 50-50.

'I only sold your half. His half I let ride.

'He stood to win 75,000. It's just tough.'

'Hear that? That's wedding bells for us.'

What are you going to do?

Play.

PHONE RINGS

Mr Grant!

Mr Grant?

-Is something up?

-Yes.

-The other 28 horses were disqualified?

-No.

It's just that er... I mean, er...

He sold half the ticket and here it is.

Who sold what?

Freddie decided we should gamble only with one half. There's the money.

Six thousand dollars! Good old Freddie.

-Well, that's why I came.

-Wait.

Half of this is yours.

Thanks.

I guess my hunch was right. We were lucky together.

Yes. Together, nothing can stop us.

Well, when shall we start?

Oh...

You're not still thinking of going on the trip?

-Why not? It won't be...

-I can't go away with you!

Why not?

Because I can't.

Well, what do you think people would say?

Oh, yes. People. I forgot.

-You must see...

-You mean that you won't come?

I can't.

Ah. I'm sorry. Very sorry.

You must take this and spend it on something sensible.

Oh, no. This is yours.

I mean... You need it. You know you do.

Oh, no. I only needed it for one thing.

-What?

-An experiment. An artistic experiment.

That, as you say, people would confuse with an improper suggestion.

Once before in my life, I did something that I hoped would turn out to be beautiful.

But people came along and thought it was improper.

-You can't beat people.

-No.

But I didn't think that you were people.

-Oh, well, I'm not.

-You mind what they think.

It's not that, it's...

It's...

Oh... You said experiment. What did you mean?

Of taking someone who is to settle down happily and prosaically in Poughkeepsie

and giving them one shot in the arm of magic, on a quite impersonal plane, beforehand.

And then seeing if it will last them for the rest of their life.

Um... What do you mean, impersonal?

I mean...impersonal.

Purely impersonal.

Like a guide or a scientist making an experiment.

Ah... It's...

-It's crazy.

-Experiments are always crazy until they're proved.

But as this one never will be now...

Well, maybe I'm the one who's crazy now, but er...

All right. You can make your experiment.

I'll be the guinea pig.

But...the strictly impersonal guinea pig.

-It's nice being a guinea pig on a day like this.

-Glad you like it. Like your car?

-Mine?

-I bought it in your name.

Oh...

-Why?

-I told you, I don't believe in possessions.

Well, thanks.

I wish I could understand you.

You're crazy or running away from something.

Maybe.

What?

Perhaps the same things you're headed for.

Security and respectability. I had them once.

-What happened?

-This is an adventure.

Let's forget my past and your future,

and enjoy the poetic present.

Er...

I don't wish to be too prosaic, but could we stop at a Western Union?

-What for?

-I'd like to send a wire to Aunt Lucy.

And I think I ought to wire Freddie.

Freddie.

He'll be worried about you?

Well... Yes, really.

I... I know it's all right and everything is purely impersonal.

-Mm-hm.

-But Freddie might not understand.

Uh-huh.

I'll just let him know where we are and that I'm having a good time.

That'll show him that everything is all right.

-Won't it?

-Sure.

Sure, we'll wire him.

We'll wire him everywhere we stop.

I don't think we need to go as far as all that.

Panicky?

There aren't many people here, are there?

This is only the lobby.

The eyes of all the sisters in the world are watching you now.

Welcome to Niagara Falls. Welcome.

And welcome to this splendid hotel. Famous for its immaculate service.

Thank you. I hope you have a very happy time here.

We hope that our stay will be a source of great rejoicing

to yourself and excellent staff.

Oh, thank you.

Mr Grant.

Oh, yes. We have your wire right here.

Mm, let me see.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, but all we have left is a double room on the third floor

and one on the fifth floor.

-That's fine.

-That will do very nicely.

-Thank you.

For the lady and 526 for the gentleman.

-I hope you find everything satisfactory.

-Thank you.

How about a bite of supper?

I'm not hungry.

Just a little champagne?

I'm really not thirsty. I'm sleepy.

Three.

Five.

Mine's 526. What's your room?

-Er...

-The lady is in 355.

Thank you.

-Good night.

-Good night, sis.

Connect me with Mr David Grant, room 526, please.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Hello. I'm sorry if I was abrupt or overly suspicious, but...

He went out?!

Er... No message, thank you.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in.

Good evening, miss. I'm the night maid.

Hello.

May I come in?

Er... Help yourself.

-How did you make such a mistake?

-I don't know.

I must have lost a day somehow.

Here's your party. You'd better square it.

-Good evening, Mr Grant.

-Where is the bar?

-To the right.

I made a mistake about those rooms.

The adjoining rooms ARE available if you care to move now.

Thank you, but I think Miss... my sister has already retired for the night.

-Perhaps tomorrow.

-Perhaps. Thank you.

Uh-oh.

-Well?

-I'm very unhappy.

-Didn't he accept your apology?

-Yes and no.

I'd feel better if I could get him to switch.

Miss Grant.

Miss Grant!

Good evening, Miss Grant.

The bar is around the corner.

Way around.

-I think you'll find the toast thin enough.

-Very nice.

Well!

Won't you sit down?

-Waiter, another glass.

-Yes, sir.

You didn't sleep for very long.

No.

My, what a lovely painting.

Yes, I'll hate to give it up.

Oh, isn't it yours?

No, I've only rented it for a month.

I want to thank you for the flowers.

It was a pleasure.

That's what I came down for.

I mean, to thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

People just wouldn't believe this.

What?

Our being together like this.

Why not?

They'd think it wasn't like this.

I mean, they'd look wise like my Aunt Lucy and say, a-ha!

Mm-hm.

I didn't visualise it like this.

Did you think we'd never eat or drink?

I mean...

I didn't mean that.

I mean, this is so...pleasant.

Mm-hm.

-Are you thinking about something?

-Yes.

-Is it a secret?

-No.

-Well, what is it?

-Freddie.

-Freddie?

-Uh-huh.

Why?

We do owe it all to him, don't we?

I suppose so.

Of course we do. Practical man, Freddie.

Oh, yes.

Tell me, did you ever spend much time in Poughkeepsie?

Oh, no. I've only been there twice.

Oh. I see.

-What happens after?

-After what?

-The trip.

-Oh, I take you home.

No, what's going to happen to you?

Something will turn up. It always does.

Well...

Mr Grant, I took the liberty of changing you to the adjoining rooms.

-That must have given you a lot of bother.

-You've done me...the hotel a great favour.

-So long as it's a favour.

-The management will appreciate it.

-The management can call upon us at any time.

-By all means.

-Thank you.

-Not at all.

Floors, please. Six for us.

Same for us.

-Did you just get here, honey?

-Yes.

-We've been here a week.

-How are the Falls?

We're seeing them tomorrow.

Sixth floor.

-Pleasant dreams.

-Good night.

If you feel lonely, he'll keep you company.

Any questions? No? No?

Thank you very much.

Good night.

Oh!

Oh...

Oh..!

Oh, no.

-Oh, no?

-No.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in!

MAID SCREAMS

KNOCK AT DOOR

What's the screaming about?

Er... Somebody just scared somebody.

I'm afraid I sort of owe you an apology.

Oh, really?

I don't...

You see... You see...

-Well, here we are again.

-What are you doing here?

It's nice.

It's very nice.

One of you had better start lying.

-After you, my dear Freddie.

-What are you doing here?

To find out what you mean by coming on a trip with him.

-What do you mean, what do I mean?

-Come home and marry me like we agreed!

You agreed about me taking this trip.

-I can testify to that.

-Shut up!

-If you think you can take my girl...

-And what?

That I don't know.

Perhaps you'd like to talk it over alone.

Let me know if you need me.

Goodbye for now.

I used to think he was just crazy. Now I don't trust him.

That means you don't trust me!

Why should I, now that I know he ain't crazy?

-You'd better go back.

-All right. If that's the way you feel.

Don't be surprised if I'm not waiting for you.

-All right.

-I'll go but it may be for good.

Maybe.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I feel I ought to apologise for Freddie's behaviour.

Looking at it from his angle, I might have felt the same way.

You wouldn't. Anyway, he's on his way back.

Poor chap. I don't envy him travelling all night.

-It will teach him not to be so suspicious. Good night.

-Good night.

-What a lovely fireplace. I love fireplaces in bedrooms.

-Haven't you one?

-Change rooms.

-No, I didn't mean that. Good night.

SHE TURNS KEY

Anything else? Have me called at two o'clock.

PM? AM. Tonight.

Yes, sir. Don't forget. Turn out those lights.

CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE

Operator, connect me with Mr David Grant in 609, please.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello, Jean.

-Oh...hello.

I...

I was just noticing the moonlight was shining on that painting.

And it's really very beautiful.

I'm glad you like it. It's comforting.

Mm.

Well, er...

That's all.

-Good night.

-Good night.

-Good night.

-Good night, Jean.

-Good night.

-Good night.

Operator, will you give me 611?

PHONE RINGS

Hello, David.

-Did I wake you up?

-No.

-Can you hear the music?

-Yes.

-Lovely, isn't it?

-Yes.

-Soft.

-And dreamy.

-Like a lullaby.

-Yes, it's lovely.

-Is the moon shining in through your window?

-Yes.

I can just see you, a shaft of pale blue light falling across your bed.

-And your face like a soft shadow on your pillow.

-Can you really see me?

Of course. Let me hear you put on the light.

All right.

Now you're lying in a horrible glare and it hurts your eyes. Quick, put it out.

That's better. That's more restful.

Oh, much.

Well...

Pleasant dreams, Jean.

Pink-eyed rabbits and curly-haired lambs.

In ribbons and bells.

In sunny meadows.

Are you asleep yet?

Oh, no! Not yet.

-Jean...

-Yes?

How would you like to put on that dress and have a few dances with me?

-I'd love it!

-Put on your light!

-It's on.

-I'll meet you in the lobby.

JEAN LAUGHS

-You dazzle me.

-I dazzle myself!

I feel like making a grand entrance to a fanfare of trumpets and a wild burst of applause.

Perhaps I can arrange it.

I hope your rooms are satisfactory.

-Perfect. My sister should have the fireplace. Will you switch?

-It would make me happy.

-That's a lot of trouble.

-Oh, make them happy.

MUSIC PLAYS

-Having a good time?

-Mm.

It's nice. Nobody knows who we are or what we're doing here.

Kinda like playing hookey.

That was the whole idea of the experiment.

Well, it was a good idea.

MUSIC ENDS TO APPLAUSE

Very nice, thank you.

I hope we're not intruding.

And I hope we don't sound foolish.

-But there's something we'd like to know.

-Just a question.

We'd be very happy to answer it.

-Are you superstitious?

-Do you believe in luck?

Oh, yes, we do that, don't we, David?

Yes, yes, we've been very lucky. Up to now.

-Do you think they might be?

-They might be just the very two.

-I wonder.

-I think so.

Oh.

-Would you come out with us?

-Out? Where?

Just out.

-Just to the garden.

-It isn't a garden.

There's something we'd like to show you.

-Perhaps share with you.

-Perhaps.

All right.

Well, where are we going?

-On a trip.

-A long trip?

It took us 50 years to get back to the beginning.

Just a moment, Mr... I didn't quite catch the name.

Albert W Sylvester.

Perhaps he means your other self.

Do you?

Er... Do I?

Why, I think so.

I am...

I am Peter Possum.

Peter Possum?!

Well... If you're Peter Possum, then she must be Jenny Wren.

She's always been Jenny Wren.

Er... Look, are you all right?

Yes, why?

Who is Peter Possum?

They write stories and fairy tales.

I used to read them as a child.

Over this way!

-Let's make a dash for it.

-No.

We mustn't hurt their feelings. Come on.

This is the threshold.

-The threshold to what?

-To whatever you want. Isn't that right?

-Of course, my dear.

But you must pick her up and carry her across.

Well...

-Aren't you coming?

-We crossed it a long time ago.

Now the wishing well.

50 years ago tonight, we stood here and wished our marriage might last forever.

We threw in little white pebbles.

Just like these,

to make sure.

You looked so happy and shining when we first saw you.

We had to tell you.

We hope our little fancy will do the same for you.

Come, Alice.

I guess we'd better go back.

Jean...

I'm afraid the experiment's got a little out of hand.

-Yes.

-I apologise.

-What for?

-For letting it.

I promised it should be... strictly impersonal.

Jean, either we must go back to being as we were and forget this happened,

or else we can't go on with the trip.

Why not, David?

Because...that's how it was going to be, remember?

David, do you want to go on with it?

Very much.

OK, then.

Well...

Shall we go back and dance?

The champagne should be very cold by now.

No. If you don't mind, I'll go to bed and be fresh for the trip.

All right.

-Good night.

-'Night.

We can shake hands, can't we? Quite impersonally.

-Good night.

-Good night. Oh... This is your room now.

What time do we leave?

Would nine be too early?

Nine would be swell. Good night.

Good night. Sweet dreams.

CLOCK STRIKES TWO

KEY TURNS IN LOCK

Freddie!

What are you doing here?

I dropped in to see what was going on.

I think I picked a pretty good moment.

Let me ask you the same question.

What are YOU doing here?

This is my room now.

Oh. Sure(!)

We changed rooms!

Oh?

Was the other one haunted?

Freddie, I don't like you following me. Spying on me is disgusting!

You can't put me in the wrong.

What are you going to do?

You'll hear it in a minute. Stay here.

David, I...

Skipped, eh?

No, he's...

just gone for a walk, maybe.

Probably took his baggage along for exercise.

Hello, give me the desk.

Wouldn't be surprised if he stuck you with the bill.

What's happened to Mr Grant?

Mr David Grant.

Uh-huh.

He's checked out. Did he pay his bill?

Oh, he did, huh?

Give me that. When did he leave?

Oh, this is Miss Jean Newton... Er... Miss Grant.

Oh, he did?

Will you send it up right away, please? Thank you.

Send up what?

-He left me a note.

-That's very nice of him.

Always a gentleman, even when he's ditching you.

I don't ever want to talk to you ever again!

Give me a quarter for the boy.

OK, Grant. Is this your car?

Er... Well, not exactly.

-Well, whose exactly is it?

-It belongs to a Miss Newton.

-Does she know you've got it?

-In a sense, no...

That's the sense I'm interested in.

-You see...

-Sure, you can explain what you meant to the sergeant.

Now drive.

I hope he's well.

-Would you drive me to New York tonight?

-Got a date with him there?

-No.

-Well, what's he say?

That's my business.

Has he walked out on you or hasn't he?

Since you're so curious,

yes, he has walked out on me.

And he's never going to see me again.

When we get back, I'm never going to see you again.

But it would be a convenience if you would drive me. I'm going to pack.

Where is this Miss Newton you say the car belongs to?

She's at the Aragon Hotel, Niagara Falls.

-Hm.

-She must be asleep now. I'd rather you didn't wake her.

I won't wake her.

Oh, I forgot. She isn't registered as Miss Newton.

Oh? What is she registered as?

As a matter of fact, she's registered as Miss Grant, my sister.

-Why?

-That's rather a long story.

OK, you can tell it to the judge in the morning.

-Yes, but...

-We're booking you, mister.

-What for?

-Suspicion of stealing an automobile. And anything else we find out.

-The blue room, Bob.

-Oh, dear, dear! Here I go again!

Get me the Niagara Falls station.

This is to go, too.

Good evening.

Leaving?

Who are you?

I had an idea you'd ask me that.

So I brought along the answer.

Who are you?

My name is Harper. I'm engaged

to this lady and we're on our way back to New York.

-Yeah? Why?

-She had a misunderstanding with...

With who?

Er... Well... With the man she was travelling with.

Who's that?

That was a Mr Grant. You see...

Wait a minute, pal. Now we're getting somewhere.

Er... Yeah.

-Are you Miss Newton?

-Yes.

You wouldn't be Miss Grant? No... That is, I...

On Thursdays, maybe. Miss Newton Grant, do you own an automobile?

No. Er... That is, yes.

I think it is in my name.

He said it was.

The guy you've had a misunderstanding with?

Were you and he working a racket? Now just...

Is this yours?

No, no. That belongs to Mr Grant.

It doesn't exactly belong to him.

Why?

He...sort of rented it.

And now it's part of your baggage, eh?

Well...

Who busted this door?

The door?

I did that. I...

-A gang war, huh?

-You're crazy! I just...

OK, pal. Save it for the judge.

-What's this?

-Automobile theft. Something to do with a painting and a busted door.

Now, then. How do you plead?

ALL: Not guilty.

Swear them.

Put your hands up. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing

-but the truth, so help you, God?

-Not guilty!

I do.

Well, let's see who you all are. What's your name?

Frederick Victor Harper, Your Honour. I'm in insurance.

All right! You know the other defendant?

-This young lady is my fiancee.

-I am not.

There seems to be a little bit of confusion.

One at a time. You say that you're engaged to her?

Yes, Your Honour.

-You say?

-No, Your Honour.

Well, now. One of you is committing perjury.

Remember you're under oath.

We'll see. That's what we're here for. What's your name?

-Jean Newton.

-Jean Newton, alias Jean Grant.

No, Your Honour. Er... That is... Yes, Your Honour.

The owner of the stolen automobile? Allegedly stolen.

No, Your Honour. Er... Yes, Your Honour.

You'd better make up your mind.

We'll see. That's what we're here for.

You're Mr David Grant.

Well, no, Your Honour.

It says here you are.

-I know, but we're under oath?

-Of course!

Then I'm not David Grant, Your Honour. My name is Somerset.

-Paul Knight Somerset.

-Paul Knight Somerset...

Paul Knight Somerset!

-What's going on?

-Paul Knight Somerset!

THEY ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

As owner of this paper, this could put our town on the map forever!

As mayor of this town, we've got something we can't afford to neglect.

On behalf of the chamber of commerce, you must have a trial for the electors!

As president of the woman's club, these electors include women!

The elections are next month. The taxpayers will be sore if this isn't milked to the full!

The court room was full. The hotels are overflowing.

You can't let this thing peter out overnight!

-Can they make anything of this?

-I'll get it dismissed in minutes.

Excuse me.

-Hello, Jean...

-How are you, David? I mean Paul.

I tried to give her your messages but she wouldn't listen.

Women, David! I mean Paul. You just can't figure them.

I'd like my attorney to represent her.

She says she hasn't done anything she can't explain herself. She'll be her own counsel.

We must go in now. They can't begin without us!

She's going to be her own counsel.

Wendell, I don't need you. I'll be my own counsel too.

I'll be nervous if you watch me.

MURMURING

Say, he sure is something. Do you recognise all these folks?

Cafe society. I wish I had their insurance policies!

THEY GREET EACH OTHER

I understand him walking out on you now.

A guy like that, a celebrity, you can't expect...

-I wish I could make you understand...

-It was fun for you to make an experiment

and then walk out when you got bored.

I congratulate you on its success.

-Well, I...

-< Everybody, please stand.

< Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!

The Supreme Court is now in session.

Be seated.

Are the defendants in court?

-Yes, Your Honour.

-Yes, Your Honour.

Yes, Your Honour.

You may be seated.

Now, where did we leave off?

I think we'd better start at the formal evidence of the arrest.

Will Officer Clarke please take the stand?

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? >

I do.

Officer Clarke, when you made the arrest...

The picture Mr Somerset rented from you was painted by him?

-Yes, Your Honour.

-Why would he rent it?

I imagine he wanted to look at it.

Crazy! Why couldn't he have painted another?

Next witness.

By what name did you know the defendant?

They was different.

First it was Pigeon.

Then it was Good Luck.

Then it was You Asked For It.

It looks to me as if he got it.

When did you first meet Somerset?

That was the day he gave her a 350 gown.

-< It had silver beads...

-< All right.

-How did your niece explain such an expensive present?

-She denied it.

This trip they went on.

Where would a man living as he did get the money to pay for it?

My niece gave it to him.

"Please reserve two rooms, not necessarily adjoining. David Grant."

In your experience as a hotel clerk, what do you understand those words to mean?

Judge, that they must adjoin!

Ahem. Yeah.

I opened the door and there she was, waiting to pounce on me!

Then I went to 611. There she was again!

Waiting to pounce on me!

It got me so nervous,

I've been scared to open the door ever since for fear I'd find her waiting to pounce on me!

Now that we've heard the witnesses,

we're in even deeper confusion than we were before.

THEY LAUGH

< Order! Order!

Will the defendant Frederick Harper please take the stand?

He says he and the girl were engaged.

Mr Harper, are you or are you not engaged to Miss Newton?

I was engaged to her and I have every confidence I shall be again.

You were engaged to her when she went on that trip with this man?

Yes. Did she go with your approval?

Not then, but I realise now I was unnecessarily suspicious.

What made you realise that?

I found out who Mr Grant really was. A celebrity...

Celebrities are no more to be trusted with women than anyone else.

LAUGHTER

Order! Order!

Miss Jean Newton, please.

Courage, dear. Courage!

Tell everything. Don't be ashamed, whatever it was.

-She's been sworn in, Your Honour.

-I know that. Sit down.

Miss Newton, don't be scared. Tell the truth. We are here to protect you.

-Thank you, Your Honour.

-Don't mention it.

Miss Newton, would you give us your version

of how you came to go on this somewhat unusual trip?

I was talked into it. First by Mr Harper and then by Mr Somerset.

< I thought Mr Harper was against it?

He was, but Mr Somerset talked him into it too.

< He must have unusual powers of persuasion.

Oh, yes.

-How did he represent the trip?

-As an experiment.

Experiment? And you agreed to it?

It wasn't that kind of an experiment.

I was to be a guinea pig.

LAUGHTER

Order! Order in the court!

A what?

Look, Your Honour, do we have to go into all that?

I'm afraid so, Miss Newton.

I know it's going to sound crazy, Your Honour.

It was crazy and I was crazy to fall for it.

Well...

It was to be just a friendly little trip.

As brother and sister.

He was going to show me things.

He wanted to make the experiment of taking someone and...

Oh, I can't make it sound like he did.

It sounds even crazier if I try.

That was the idea. A sort of a...

A...

You know what I mean...

Yes, yes. You trusted him.

Yes, Your Honour.

Yes. Was your trust justified?

I don't know, Your Honour.

You don't know? But you must know.

Did he keep his word about it being brother and sister?

Mm. Er...

Not entirely, Your Honour.

-He overstepped the mark?

-In a way, Your Honour.

LAUGHTER

Order!

Did he kiss you?

Do I have to answer that question, Your Honour?

-I'm afraid so. Don't be scared. We're here to protect you.

-Thank you.

-Don't mention it. Well, then?

-Well, then...

yes.

He kissed you and then he drove off in your automobile without a word? Is that right?

-Oh, well, it wasn't...

-Answer yes or no, please.

-Yes, Your Honour.

-Thank you, Miss Newton.

-That's all.

-Thank you, Your Honour.

-Don't mention it.

-Your Honour.

-Yes?

As my own counsel, may I cross-examine?

Sit down again, Miss Newton. Proceed.

Thank you, Your Honour. Ahem!

Miss Newton, is it a fact that since he left you, my client has made attempts to see you?

-Who's your client?

-That's myself.

And that you refused to let me explain my behaviour?

Your Honour, will you be so kind as to instruct the witness to answer my questions?

What? Oh, yes, you have to do that.

Don't be scared. We're here to protect you.

-Thank you, Your Honour.

-Don't mention it.

-You've refused to listen to me?

-Yes!

-You'd better listen to me now.

-Your Honour!

-What's that?

-It's nothing! Nothing at all.

Did my client leave you a letter?

Before he left you at Niagara Falls?

You know perfectly well you did. He did. You did!

Have you the letter with you?

-I destroyed it.

-Do you remember what was in it?

-I object!

-Objection sustained.

-Your Honour?

There has been no foundation laid for the introduction of a lost letter.

-Thank you, Your Honour.

-Don't mention it.

In that letter, did my client tell you that it was in your own interests

that he was walking out of your life?

I... I don't know. Yes. I object!

Mention that letter and it's contempt of court!

Do you believe that my client was sincere in his feelings for you?

Your Honour! You said you were here to protect me.

He's trying to make me talk now because I wouldn't talk outside.

Mr Somerset, you will confine yourself to the facts of the case

and not discuss your personal feelings.

But I can't explain...

If Miss Newton is interested in your reasons,

she can ask you when you are on the stand.

In that case, I have no further questions.

Thank you, Miss Newton.

-Thank you, Your Honour.

-The pleasure's entirely mine!

Mm?

Oh. And now Mr Somerset.

I have a lot of questions to ask this Casanova.

Now, Mr Somerset, you are the painter Paul Knight Somerset?

-I was.

-And what are you now? What do you do for a living?

-Not much, Your Honour.

-Would a loafer be the right description?

MURMURING

-A little harsh, but depends upon your point of view.

-Exactly.

Mr Somerset, did you accept 3,000 from Miss Newton?

-Yes, Your Honour.

-You persuaded her to go on a trip with you?

-Yes, Your Honour.

-And on that trip, you made love to her?

-Once.

-I don't care how often. Answer me.

-Yes, Your Honour.

-And then you made off in her automobile?

-Yes, Your Honour.

-You admit it was her automobile?

-Yes, Your Honour.

-Bought with her money?