The Proposal

Line	From	To
(BIRDS CHIRP)	0:00:10	0:00:14
# I don't mean to trouble your mind	0:00:14	0:00:16
# I'm just trying to find my way home	0:00:16	0:00:19
# Silently I'm seeking a kind	0:00:20	0:00:23
# Of a way to get by on my own	0:00:23	0:00:26
# Downtown Saturday	0:00:27	0:00:29
# In a better way	0:00:29	0:00:30
# Than I ever was before	0:00:30	0:00:33
# Don't need anyone	0:00:34	0:00:35
# Standing in my sun	0:00:35	0:00:37
# Don't need that anymore	0:00:37	0:00:40
# Well, it's a long way, I know	0:00:40	0:00:43
# And there's no one way to go	0:00:43	0:00:46
# But it's all gonna show in the end	0:00:46	0:00:52
# I got to find my way	0:00:53	0:00:55
# Find my way	0:00:55	0:00:57
# Find my way home	0:00:57	0:01:00
Shit!	0:01:00	0:01:01
# All those plans that I made for myself	0:01:01	0:01:03
# I've got nobody else to lean on	0:01:03	0:01:06
# Gone so far with my head in the clouds	0:01:07	0:01:10
# Now it's time to come down and be gone	0:01:10	0:01:13
# Downtown Saturday	0:01:14	0:01:15
# In a better way	0:01:15	0:01:17
# Than I ever was before	0:01:17	0:01:19
Andrew. Hey.	0:01:23	0:01:26
Here you go. You regular lattes.	0:01:27	0:01:29
You literally saved my life. Thank you. Thank you.	0:01:29	0:01:33
# Find my way	0:01:33	0:01:35
# Find my way	0:01:35	0:01:37
# Find my way home	0:01:37	0:01:40
# Got to find my way	0:01:40	0:01:42
# Find my way	0:01:42	0:01:44
# Find my way home #	0:01:44	0:01:47
-Everyone OK? -Yeah. -Me, too.	0:01:47	0:01:49
Hello, Frank? How's my favourite writer?	0:01:52	0:01:54
Of course you've been thinking about our talk, because you know I'm right.	0:01:54	0:01:58
People in this country are busy, broke, and hate to read.	0:01:58	0:02:01
They need someone they can trust to say, "Don't watch CSI Indianapolis."	0:02:01	0:02:05
"Read a book! Frank's book." That person is Oprah.	0:02:05	0:02:08
-Cutting it close. -One of those mornings. Thanks.	0:02:13	0:02:16
-Oh. Oh. -Sweet... Jesus! -Sorry.	0:02:16	0:02:20
Rub some dirt on it, brother.	0:02:20	0:02:22
Frank, the truth is all A-plus novelists	0:02:22	0:02:25
do publicity. Roth, McCourt, Russo, and...	0:02:25	0:02:28
Can I tell you what else they have in common? A Pulitzer.	0:02:28	0:02:31
I need the shirt off your back. Literally.	0:02:31	0:02:34
-You're kidding, right? -Yankees, Boston, this Tuesday.	0:02:34	0:02:37
Two company seats. Five seconds. Five, four, three, two, one.	0:02:37	0:02:41
-(ELEVATOR DINGS) -Later.	0:02:41	0:02:45
-(COMPUTERS BEEP) -Hm? (GASPS)	0:02:47	0:02:51
-Whoa! -(COMPUTER BEEPS)	0:02:51	0:02:54
(COMPUTERS BEEP)	0:02:56	0:02:59
Er, hello? Hello?	0:02:59	0:03:01
Morning, boss. Conference call in 30 minutes.	0:03:07	0:03:10
-About marketing the spring books. I know. -Staff meeting at nine.	0:03:10	0:03:13
Did you call... What's her name? The one with the ugly hands.	0:03:13	0:03:17
-Janet. -Yes. -Yes. I told her if she doesn't get her manuscript in,	0:03:17	0:03:20
you won't give her a release date. Your immigration lawyer said...	0:03:20	0:03:24
Push the meeting to tomorrow, keep the lawyer on the sheets.	0:03:24	0:03:27
Get a hold of PR, have them draft a press release. Frank is doing Oprah.	0:03:27	0:03:32
Wow. Nicely done.	0:03:32	0:03:34
If I want your praise, I will ask for it.	0:03:34	0:03:37
Erm,... who is Jillian?	0:03:39	0:03:43
And why does she want me to call her?	0:03:43	0:03:45
Well, that was originally my cup.	0:03:47	0:03:50
-And I'm drinking your coffee, why? -Because your coffee spilled.	0:03:50	0:03:54
So, you drink unsweetened cinnamon light soy lattes?	0:03:59	0:04:03
I do. It's like Christmas in a cup.	0:04:03	0:04:06
-Is that a coincidence? -Incredibly, it is.	0:04:06	0:04:09
I wouldn't possibly drink the same coffee you drink	0:04:09	0:04:12
just in case yours spilled. That would be pathetic.	0:04:12	0:04:15
Morning. Miss Tate's office. Hey, Bob.	0:04:15	0:04:19
Actually, we're headed to your office right now. Yeah.	0:04:20	0:04:23
Why are we headed to Bob's office?	0:04:23	0:04:26
(COMPUTERS BEEP)	0:04:36	0:04:39
Have you finished the manuscript I gave you?	0:04:40	0:04:43
I read a few pages. I wasn't that impressed.	0:04:43	0:04:45
-Can I say something? -No. -I've read thousands of manuscripts,	0:04:45	0:04:49
it's the only one I've ever given you. It's an incredible novel.	0:04:49	0:04:52
-The kind you used to publish. -Er, wrong.	0:04:52	0:04:55
And I do think you order the same coffee me	0:04:55	0:04:57
just in case you spill, which is pathetic.	0:04:57	0:04:59
-Or impressive. -I'd be impressed if you didn't spill.	0:04:59	0:05:02
-Remember, you're a prop here. -I won't say a word.	0:05:02	0:05:05
Ah! Our fearless leader and her liege. Please, do come in.	0:05:07	0:05:12
Oh, beautiful breakfront.	0:05:12	0:05:14
-Is it new? -English Regency Egyptian Revival,	0:05:14	0:05:18
built in the 1800s but, yes, it is new to my office.	0:05:18	0:05:21
Witty. Bob, I'm letting you go.	0:05:21	0:05:25
-Pardon? -I asked you over a dozen times to get Frank to do Oprah,	0:05:28	0:05:32
and you didn't do it. You're fired.	0:05:32	0:05:36
I have told you that is impossible.	0:05:36	0:05:38
Frank hasn't done an interview in 20 years.	0:05:38	0:05:41
Interesting, because I just got off the phone with him and he is in.	0:05:41	0:05:45
-Excuse me? -You didn't even call him, did you?	0:05:46	0:05:49
-But... -I know, I know.	0:05:49	0:05:52
Frank can be a little scary to deal with. For you.	0:05:52	0:05:55
Now, I will give you two months	0:05:55	0:05:58
to find another job and you can tell everyone you resigned. OK?	0:05:58	0:06:01
-What's his 20? -He's moving.	0:06:04	0:06:07
-He has crazy eyes. -Don't do it, Bob. Don't do it.	0:06:07	0:06:12
You poisonous bitch!	0:06:12	0:06:15
-(ALL GASP) -You can't fire me!	0:06:15	0:06:17
You don't think I see what you're doing?	0:06:17	0:06:20
Sandbagging me on this Oprah thing so you can look good to the board?	0:06:20	0:06:24
Because you are threatened by me! And you are a monster!	0:06:24	0:06:29
-Bob, stop. -Just because you have no semblance of a life	0:06:29	0:06:32
outside of this office, you think that you can treat all of us	0:06:32	0:06:36
like your own personal slaves. You know what? I feel sorry for you.	0:06:36	0:06:41
Because you know what you'll have on your deathbed? Nothing and no one.	0:06:41	0:06:45
Listen carefully, Bob.	0:06:49	0:06:51
I didn't fire you because I feel threatened. No.	0:06:51	0:06:54
I fired you because you're lazy, entitled, incompetent	0:06:54	0:06:58
and spend more time cheating on your wife than working.	0:06:58	0:07:01
If you say another word, Andrew will have you thrown out on your ass.	0:07:01	0:07:04
Another word and you're going out of here with an armed escort.	0:07:04	0:07:08
Andrew will film it with his camera phone	0:07:08	0:07:10
-and put it on that site. What was it? -YouTube? -Is that what you want?	0:07:10	0:07:14
Didn't think so. I have work to do.	0:07:15	0:07:17
Have security put his breakfront in my conference room.	0:07:19	0:07:22
-Will do. -I need you this weekend to help review his files. -This weekend?	0:07:22	0:07:26
-You have a problem with that? -No, I...	0:07:26	0:07:29
Just my grandmother's 90th birthday, I was gonna go home. It's fine.	0:07:29	0:07:32
I'll cancel. You're saving me from a weekend of misery. Good talk, yeah.	0:07:32	0:07:37
I know, I know. OK, tell Gammy I'm sorry. What do...?	0:07:37	0:07:42
Mom. What do you want me to say? She's making me work the weekend.	0:07:42	0:07:46
No. No. Listen, I've worked too hard for this promotion	0:07:46	0:07:49
to throw it all away, OK? I'm sure that Dad is pissed	0:07:49	0:07:52
but we take all of our submissions very seriously	0:07:52	0:07:54
and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.	0:07:54	0:07:57
-Was that your family? -Yes.	0:07:57	0:07:59
-They tell you to quit? -Every day. Miss Tate's office.	0:07:59	0:08:03
Yeah. OK. All right. Bergen and Malloy wanna see you immediately.	0:08:04	0:08:09
(GROWLS) OK. Come get me in ten minutes.	0:08:09	0:08:11
-We've got a lot to do. -Okey doke. -(PHONE RINGS)	0:08:11	0:08:16
Good morning, Miss Tate.	0:08:18	0:08:20
-Jack, Edwin. -Congratulations on the Oprah thing. Terrific news.	0:08:21	0:08:26
Thank you. This isn't about my second raise, is it? (LAUGHS)	0:08:26	0:08:30
Margaret, remember when we agreed that you wouldn't go to Frankfurt	0:08:30	0:08:35
as you couldn't leave the country while your visa was being processed?	0:08:35	0:08:39
-Yes, I do. -And... you went to Frankfurt. -Yes, I did.	0:08:39	0:08:42
We were gonna lose DeLillo to Viking so really didn't have a choice.	0:08:42	0:08:46
It seems the US government doesn't care who publishes DeLillo.	0:08:46	0:08:49
We just spoke to your immigration attorney.	0:08:49	0:08:52
Great. So, we're all good? Everything good?	0:08:52	0:08:55
-Your visa application has been denied. -That...	0:08:55	0:08:58
-And you are being deported. -Deported?	0:08:58	0:09:01
-There was also some paperwork you didn't fill out in time. -Come on.	0:09:01	0:09:06
Come on! It's not like I'm even an immigrant!	0:09:06	0:09:09
I'm from Canada, for Christ's sake. There's gotta be something we can do.	0:09:09	0:09:13
We can reapply. But you have to leave the country	0:09:13	0:09:16
-for at least a year. -OK.	0:09:16	0:09:20
OK, well, that's not ideal, but, er, I can manage everything from Toronto	0:09:21	0:09:26
with videoconferencing and Internet. I can...	0:09:26	0:09:30
If you're deported, you can't work for an American company.	0:09:30	0:09:33
-For now, I'm turning operations over to Bob Spaulding. -Bob Spaulding?	0:09:33	0:09:38
-The guy I just fired? -We need an editor in chief.	0:09:38	0:09:40
-He's the only one with experience. -You can't be serious. I beg of you.	0:09:40	0:09:44
We are desperate to have you stay.	0:09:44	0:09:46
If there was any way, any way at all that we could make this thing work,	0:09:46	0:09:50
-we'd be doing it. -I am begging you. -No, Margaret. We're in a meeting.	0:09:50	0:09:54
-Sorry to interrupt. -What?! -Mary from Miss Winfrey's office called.	0:09:54	0:09:58
-She's on hold. -I know.	0:09:58	0:10:00
I told her you were otherwise engaged. She insisted, so...	0:10:00	0:10:04
So...	0:10:04	0:10:06
Er...	0:10:15	0:10:17
(WHISPERS) Come here!	0:10:18	0:10:21
Er, gentlemen, I understand...	0:10:21	0:10:25
I understand the predicament that we are in.	0:10:25	0:10:29
And, erm...	0:10:29	0:10:31
And there's, er... Well...	0:10:31	0:10:34
I think there's something that you should know.	0:10:34	0:10:37
Er, we're... we're getting married.	0:10:38	0:10:42
-We are getting married. -Who is getting married?	0:10:42	0:10:45
You and I. You and I are getting married! Yes.	0:10:45	0:10:48
-We are... getting married. -Getting married. Yes.	0:10:48	0:10:51
Isn't he your secretary?	0:10:52	0:10:55
-Assistant. -Executive assistant secretary.	0:10:55	0:10:59
Titles. Wouldn't be the first time one of us fell for our secretaries,	0:10:59	0:11:03
would it, Edwin? (LAUGHS)	0:11:03	0:11:05
With Laquisha. Remember? So, yeah.	0:11:05	0:11:09
The truth is, you know, Andrew and I,	0:11:09	0:11:13
we are just two people who weren't meant to fall in love,	0:11:13	0:11:16
-but we did. -No. -Yeah.	0:11:16	0:11:18
All those late nights at the office and weekend book fairs.	0:11:18	0:11:24
-No. -Something... happened.	0:11:24	0:11:26
-Something -Yeah. (LAUGHS)	0:11:26	0:11:28
Tried to fight it and... Can't fight a...	0:11:28	0:11:32
Can't... Can't fight a love like ours.	0:11:32	0:11:34
So, er, are we good with this?	0:11:34	0:11:38
Are you happy? Because, well, we are happy. So happy.	0:11:38	0:11:43
-Margaret. -Yes? -It's terrific. Just make it legal. Hm?	0:11:43	0:11:48
Oh! Legal. (LAUGHS)	0:11:48	0:11:50
Yeah, well, then that means we...	0:11:50	0:11:53
We need to get to the immigration office	0:11:53	0:11:56
so we can work this whole mess out. Right?	0:11:56	0:11:58
Thank you very much, gentlemen. We will do that right away.	0:11:58	0:12:02
-Thank you. -Gentlemen. -Thank you.	0:12:02	0:12:05
-(WHISPER) Margaret and Andrew are getting married! -What?	0:12:08	0:12:11
-Here they come. -(LAUGHS)	0:12:11	0:12:14
(ALL CHAT IN WHISPERS)	0:12:14	0:12:17
Dude, for real? Her? (LAUGHS)	0:12:19	0:12:22
I didn't even think they were dating.	0:12:22	0:12:24
-What? -I don't understand what's happening.	0:12:45	0:12:49
-Relax. This is for you, too. -Do explain.	0:12:49	0:12:52
-They were going to make Bob chief. -So, naturally, I have to marry you.	0:12:52	0:12:56
What's the problem? Like you were saving yourself for someone special?	0:12:56	0:13:00
I like to think so. Besides, it's illegal.	0:13:00	0:13:03
They're looking for terrorists, not for book publishers.	0:13:03	0:13:06
-Margaret. -Yes? -I'm not gonna marry you. -Sure you are.	0:13:06	0:13:11
If you don't, your dreams of touching millions	0:13:11	0:13:14
with the written word are dead.	0:13:14	0:13:16
Bob will fire you the second I'm gone. Guaranteed.	0:13:21	0:13:23
That means you're looking for a job.	0:13:23	0:13:26
So all the time we spent together, all the lattes, cancelled dates,	0:13:26	0:13:29
Tampax runs were for nothing and your dreams of being an editor are gone.	0:13:29	0:13:33
Don't worry, after the required time we'll get a quickie divorce.	0:13:33	0:13:37
Until then, like it or not, your wagon is hitched to mine. OK?	0:13:37	0:13:41
(PHONE RINGS) Phone.	0:13:41	0:13:44
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)	0:13:50	0:13:53
-This way. -But... -Just come. -..the line.	0:13:56	0:14:00
-Next, please. -Ooh. I just, er... I just need to ask him something.	0:14:00	0:14:04
I need you to file this fiance visa for me, please.	0:14:04	0:14:07
-Miss Tate? -Yes. -Please, come with me.	0:14:10	0:14:16
-I have a bad feeling about this. -(KNOCKS ON DOOR)	0:14:18	0:14:22
-Hi. Hello. -Hello. -I'm Mr Gilbertson. -Ah!	0:14:25	0:14:29
-And you must be Andrew, and you must be... -Margaret.	0:14:29	0:14:32
Sorry about the wait. It's a crazy day today.	0:14:32	0:14:36
Of course. We understand. And I can't tell you how much we appreciate	0:14:36	0:14:40
-you seeing us on such short notice. -OK. (SIGHS)	0:14:40	0:14:44
# Ba-ba-ba-ba-baaa So, I have one question for you.	0:14:44	0:14:48
Are you both committing fraud to avoid her deportation	0:14:48	0:14:51
so she can keep her position as editor in chief at Colden Books?	0:14:51	0:14:55
-That's ridiculous. -Where did you hear that?	0:14:56	0:14:58
We had a phone tip this afternoon from...	0:14:58	0:15:01
-Would it be Bob Spaulding? -Bob Spaulding.	0:15:01	0:15:04
Bob. Poor Bob. I am so sorry.	0:15:04	0:15:07
Bob is nothing but a disgruntled former employee. And I apologise.	0:15:07	0:15:12
But we know you're incredibly busy	0:15:12	0:15:14
with a room full of gardeners and delivery boys to tend to.	0:15:14	0:15:18
Just give us our next step	0:15:18	0:15:20
-and we'll be out of your hair and on our way. -Miss Tate, please.	0:15:20	0:15:24
Let me explain to you the process that's about to unfold.	0:15:24	0:15:29
Step one will be a scheduled interview.	0:15:29	0:15:33
I'll put you each in a room and I'll ask you every little question	0:15:33	0:15:36
that a real couple would know about each other. Step two, I dig deeper.	0:15:36	0:15:40
I look at your phone records, talk to neighbours, interview co-workers.	0:15:40	0:15:44
If your answers don't match up at every point,	0:15:44	0:15:47
you will be deported indefinitely.	0:15:47	0:15:49
And you, young man, will have committed a felony	0:15:49	0:15:52
punishable by a fine of 250,000 and a stay of five years	0:15:52	0:15:58
in federal prison.	0:15:58	0:16:00
So, Andrew.	0:16:02	0:16:05
You wanna... talk to me?	0:16:06	0:16:09
No?	0:16:13	0:16:14
Yes?	0:16:17	0:16:18
Er, the truth is... (CLEARS THROAT)	0:16:22	0:16:27
Mr Gilbertson, the truth is...	0:16:27	0:16:30
..Margaret and I...	0:16:32	0:16:34
..are just two people who weren't supposed to fall in love...	0:16:36	0:16:39
..but did.	0:16:41	0:16:43
We couldn't tell anyone we work with	0:16:45	0:16:47
because of my big promotion that I had coming up.	0:16:47	0:16:50
-Promotion? -Your...	0:16:50	0:16:52
We both felt, er, that it would be deeply inappropriate	0:16:52	0:16:57
if I were to be promoted to editor...	0:16:57	0:16:59
-Editor. -..while we were...	0:16:59	0:17:01
So,... have the two of you told your parents about your secret love?	0:17:03	0:17:08
Oh, er, impossible. My parents are dead. (LAUGHS)	0:17:08	0:17:11
-No brothers or sisters, either. -Gone.	0:17:11	0:17:14
-Are your parents dead? -Oh, no, his are very much alive.	0:17:14	0:17:18
-Very much. -We were gonna tell them this weekend.	0:17:18	0:17:21
Gammy's 90th birthday, the whole family's coming together.	0:17:21	0:17:25
-We thought it'd be a nice surprise. -Where's this taking place?	0:17:25	0:17:29
-At Andrew's parents' house. -Where is that located again?	0:17:29	0:17:32
Erm... Why am I doing all the talking?	0:17:32	0:17:34
It's your parents' house. You tell him where it is. Jump in. (LAUGHS)	0:17:34	0:17:38
-Sitka. -Sitka.	0:17:38	0:17:41
-Alaska. -Alaska?	0:17:41	0:17:43
-You're going to Alaska this weekend? -Yeah. -Yes, yes.	0:17:43	0:17:48
We are going to Alaska. Alaska, that's where...	0:17:48	0:17:52
That's where my little... where my Andrew's from.	0:17:52	0:17:54
OK. Fine.	0:17:54	0:17:58
I see how this is gonna go.	0:17:58	0:18:00
I'll see you both 11 o'clock Monday morning for your scheduled interview	0:18:00	0:18:05
and your answers better match up on every account.	0:18:05	0:18:08
-Thank you. -I'm looking forward to this one.	0:18:09	0:18:12
-Darling! -We're looking forward to it.	0:18:12	0:18:14
-It's gonna be fun. I'll be checking up on ya. -You got it.	0:18:14	0:18:18
OK, so, what's gonna happen is, we will go there,	0:18:22	0:18:27
pretend we're boyfriend and girlfriend,	0:18:27	0:18:29
tell your parents we're engaged. Use the miles for the tickets.	0:18:29	0:18:33
I guess I'll pop for you to fly first class. But use the miles.	0:18:33	0:18:36
Otherwise we're not doing it. And please confirm the vegan meal.	0:18:36	0:18:39
Last time they gave it to a vegan and they forced me to eat	0:18:39	0:18:42
this clammy, warm, creamy salad thing, which was... Hey.	0:18:42	0:18:46
-Why aren't you taking notes? -Were you not in that room?	0:18:46	0:18:49
What? What? Oh! The thing you said about being promoted? Genius.	0:18:49	0:18:55
-He completely fell for it. -I was serious.	0:18:55	0:18:57
I'm looking at a 250,000 fine and five years in jail.	0:18:57	0:19:00
-That changes things. -Promote you to editor? No, no way.	0:19:00	0:19:05
Then I quit. You're screwed. Bye. It's been a little slice of heaven.	0:19:05	0:19:08
Andrew! Fine, fine.	0:19:08	0:19:11
I'll make you editor. Fine. If you do the Alaska weekend	0:19:12	0:19:17
and the immigration interview, I will make you editor. Happy?	0:19:17	0:19:20
-And not in two years. Right away. -Fine.	0:19:20	0:19:23
-And you'll publish my manuscript. -10,000 copies, first...	0:19:23	0:19:27
20,000 copies, first run. And we'll tell my family about our engagement	0:19:27	0:19:31
-when and how I want. Now, ask me nicely. -Ask you nicely what?	0:19:31	0:19:36
Ask me nicely to marry you, Margaret.	0:19:36	0:19:39
-What does that mean? -You heard me. On your knee.	0:19:41	0:19:44
Fine.	0:19:53	0:19:55
-(CAR HORN HONKING) Does this work for you? -Oh, I like this, yeah.	0:20:01	0:20:04
-Will you marry me? -No. Say it like you mean it.	0:20:04	0:20:08
(CLEARS THROAT)	0:20:08	0:20:10
-Andrew? -Yes, Margaret?	0:20:11	0:20:13
Sweet Andrew?	0:20:13	0:20:16
-I'm listening. -Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?	0:20:16	0:20:20
OK. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it.	0:20:22	0:20:25
-See you at the airport tomorrow. -Good.	0:20:25	0:20:27
(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)	0:20:27	0:20:29
So, these are the questions that INS is gonna ask us.	0:20:40	0:20:43
Now, the good news is I know everything about you.	0:20:43	0:20:46
The bad news is that you have four days to learn all this about me.	0:20:46	0:20:49
You should probably get studying.	0:20:49	0:20:52
-You know the answers to these questions about me? -Scary, isn't it?	0:20:56	0:21:00
-What am I allergic to? -Pine nuts. And the full spectrum of human emotion.	0:21:00	0:21:04
-Oh, that's funny. (LAUGHS FALSELY) -Mm-hm. -Um...	0:21:04	0:21:08
Here's a good one. Do I have any scars?	0:21:08	0:21:10
-I'm pretty sure that you have a tattoo. -Oh, you're pretty sure?	0:21:10	0:21:14
Two years ago, your dermatologist called	0:21:14	0:21:16
and asked about a Q-switched laser. I Googled a Q-switched laser	0:21:16	0:21:20
and found that they in fact remove tattoos.	0:21:20	0:21:22
But you cancelled your appointment.	0:21:22	0:21:25
So, what is it? Tribal ink? Japanese calligraphy? Barbed wire?	0:21:25	0:21:28
-It's exciting for me to experience you like this. -Thank you.	0:21:28	0:21:32
-You're gonna have to tell me where it is. -No. -They're gonna ask.	0:21:32	0:21:35
We're done with that question. On to another question.	0:21:35	0:21:38
Let me see, let me see. Oh, here's one.	0:21:38	0:21:41
Whose place do we stay at, yours or mine? That's easy. Mine.	0:21:41	0:21:44
-And why wouldn't we stay at mine? -Because I live at Central Park West.	0:21:44	0:21:48
And you probably live at a squalid little studio apartment	0:21:48	0:21:51
with stacks of yellowed Penguin Classics.	0:21:51	0:21:53
(WOMAN) "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts."	0:21:53	0:21:56
"We are beginning our descent into Juneau."	0:21:56	0:21:59
-Juneau? I thought we were going to Sitka. -We are.	0:21:59	0:22:03
Well, how are we getting to Sitka?	0:22:03	0:22:06
(RUMBLING)	0:22:06	0:22:09
-(RATTLING) -Whoa.	0:22:09	0:22:11
All right. Here we go.	0:22:34	0:22:37
-Where? Oh, there he is! -(WOMEN SQUEAL / CHUCKLE)	0:22:39	0:22:43
Hi. Hi!	0:22:51	0:22:53
-Oh! Oh, it's so good to see you! -You're suffocating him, Grace.	0:22:53	0:22:57
-Come here. -Hey, Gammy. Ah, Gammy. -(CHUCKLES)	0:22:57	0:23:00
-How are you doing? Where's Dad? -Oh, you know your father.	0:23:00	0:23:03
-He's always working. -Never mind about him. Where's your girl?	0:23:03	0:23:06
Uh, she's back right there.	0:23:06	0:23:09
-Ah. -There she is. -I guess the word "girl" is inappropriate. -(Annie!)	0:23:09	0:23:14
-Hi! -Hello. -Margaret, this is my mom. -Oh, hello. -Yeah, great.	0:23:16	0:23:19
-This is my gammy, Annie. -Pleasure. -Well, hello there.	0:23:19	0:23:24
Now, do you prefer being called Margaret or Satan's Mistress?	0:23:24	0:23:28
We've heard it both ways.	0:23:28	0:23:30
-Actually, we've heard it lots of ways. -She's kidding.	0:23:30	0:23:34
-Oh! Oh, OK. -(CHUCKLES) -Thank you so much	0:23:34	0:23:37
-for, uh, allowing me to be a part of this weekend. -Oh, you're welcome.	0:23:37	0:23:40
We're thrilled to have you. Lets get you two back to the fort.	0:23:40	0:23:44
-OK. -Oh, it's so good to see you.	0:23:44	0:23:47
-(GRUNTS) There we are. -(CHUCKLING)	0:23:47	0:23:51
(Andrew! Andrew!)	0:24:22	0:24:24
(LOUDER) (Andrew!)	0:24:25	0:24:27
-(GRUNTS) -(YELPS) Please, don't do that.	0:24:28	0:24:30
You didn't tell me about all the family businesses, honey.	0:24:30	0:24:33
-He was probably just being modest, dear. -Oh.	0:24:33	0:24:38
What are we doing? Shouldn't we check into our hotel now?	0:24:45	0:24:48
Oh, we cancelled your reservation. Family doesn't stay at a hotel.	0:24:48	0:24:52
-You're gonna stay in our home. -Oh, great! Great.	0:24:52	0:24:55
-What? -Oh, God. You're gonna wanna use your legs to lift that one.	0:24:55	0:24:59
Andrew! Help her with those.	0:24:59	0:25:02
I'd love to, but she won't let me do anything.	0:25:02	0:25:04
She insists on doing it all herself. She's a feminist.	0:25:04	0:25:07
(GRUNTS)	0:25:12	0:25:14
Come on, sweetie.	0:25:16	0:25:19
(GAMMY) Did you see the shoes that broad was wearing?	0:25:19	0:25:21
(GRUNTS)	0:25:25	0:25:27
This is the last of 'em.	0:25:31	0:25:33
-Oh! -Ooh. Five second rule. -Got it! Got it.	0:25:33	0:25:38
That will dry right off.	0:25:38	0:25:40
Psst! Psst! I'm not getting on that boat.	0:25:40	0:25:42
-You don't have to. See you in a few days. -Psst! You know I can't swim.	0:25:42	0:25:46
Hence, the boat.	0:25:46	0:25:48
Come on.	0:25:55	0:25:58
Come on. Here we go.	0:26:01	0:26:03
-Looking good, boss. Take your time, though. -Ssh!	0:26:09	0:26:13
She comes with a lot of baggage.	0:26:18	0:26:21
Just gonna give you a little hand here.	0:26:21	0:26:24
Hand off ass! Off ass!	0:26:24	0:26:27
There you go. You're there.	0:26:29	0:26:32
Congratulations. I'm a hundred years old now.	0:26:36	0:26:40
(BOAT ENGINE STARTING)	0:26:40	0:26:43
(GRACE) Here we are. We're home.	0:27:05	0:27:08
That is your home?	0:27:10	0:27:12
Who are you people?	0:27:13	0:27:15
-Why did you tell me you were poor? -I never said I was poor.	0:27:29	0:27:32
-But you never told me you were rich. -I'm not rich. My parents are rich.	0:27:32	0:27:35
That's something only rich people say.	0:27:35	0:27:37
-(WOMAN) Hey, Andrew! Welcome home! -Hi! Uh, Mom, wh-what is this?	0:27:37	0:27:42
Nothing. It's just a little welcoming party. Is that a crime?	0:27:42	0:27:46
Just 50 of our closest friends and neighbours,	0:27:46	0:27:48
-and all excited to meet you. -Oh, good. Good. -Come on. Come on.	0:27:48	0:27:52
-A party? -Yeah, I guess so.	0:27:52	0:27:54
Come on. Let's go. My grandma's moving faster than you.	0:27:54	0:27:57
-(GRUNTS) -Put your back into it.	0:27:57	0:28:00
# "I've Got You Under My Skin" - Michael Buble	0:28:01	0:28:04
(WOMAN) So nice to meet you. Welcome to Sitka.	0:28:04	0:28:07
-Jill? Hi. -Nice to meet you. -My pleasure.	0:28:07	0:28:09
-Why didn't you tell me you were some kind of Alaskan Kennedy? -How could I?	0:28:09	0:28:13
We were in the middle of talking about you for the last three years.	0:28:13	0:28:16
Timeout, OK? This bickering Bickerson thing has got to stop.	0:28:16	0:28:20
-People need to think we are in love, so - -That's no problem.	0:28:20	0:28:23
I can do that. I can pretend to be the doting fiance. That's easy.	0:28:23	0:28:26
But you, you have to stop snacking on children while they dream.	0:28:26	0:28:30
Very funny. When are you gonna tell them we're engaged?	0:28:30	0:28:32
-I'll pick the right moment. -Hey, Andrew.	0:28:32	0:28:35
Hi!	0:28:35	0:28:37
Mrs McKittrick. How are you? Nice to see you.	0:28:37	0:28:40
-Nice to see you. This is Margaret. -Hi. Pleasure.	0:28:40	0:28:43
-Margaret! -Hi, how are you? Pleasure.	0:28:43	0:28:46
I always wanted to know, what does a book editor do?	0:28:46	0:28:48
(MAN) That's a great question, Louise.	0:28:48	0:28:51
I'm curious to know the answer myself.	0:28:51	0:28:53
-Hello, Dad. -Son.	0:28:53	0:28:55
-This must be Maggie. -Uh, Margaret.	0:28:55	0:28:59
-Joe. Pleasure to meet you. -Pleasure's mine.	0:28:59	0:29:03
So, uh, why don't you tell us exactly what a book editor does	0:29:03	0:29:06
besides taking writers out to lunch and getting bombed.	0:29:06	0:29:09
(LOUISE) Now that sounds like fun. No wonder you like being an editor.	0:29:09	0:29:13
No, Andrew's not an editor, he's an editor's assistant.	0:29:13	0:29:17
-Maggie here is the editor. -Margaret.	0:29:17	0:29:21
-So, you're actually Andrew's boss? -Yeah.	0:29:21	0:29:24
-Well, how about that. -Huh.	0:29:24	0:29:26
-I think I'll get a refill. -Hm.	0:29:26	0:29:29
Charming.	0:29:31	0:29:33
-That's a hell of a first impression, Dad. -What the hell, Andrew?	0:29:36	0:29:40
You show up with this woman you hated. Now she's your girlfriend?	0:29:40	0:29:44
Can we wait a second before we throw the kitchen sink at each other?	0:29:44	0:29:48
I never figured you for a guy who slept his way to the middle.	0:29:48	0:29:51
That that woman is one of the most respected editors.	0:29:51	0:29:54
She's your meal ticket. You brought her to meet your mother.	0:29:54	0:29:57
She's not my meal ticket, Dad. She's my fiancee.	0:29:57	0:30:01
-What'd you say? -You heard me. I'm getting married.	0:30:01	0:30:05
-How are you? -Good. -Would you care for some hors d'oeuvres?	0:30:08	0:30:12
-No, I'm fine. Thank you. -It's a tradition.	0:30:12	0:30:14
-It's the texture. I'm not a fish person. -You'll like it.	0:30:14	0:30:17
-You're very sweet. -I think if you'll just taste it.	0:30:17	0:30:21
(MUFFLED) Thank you so much.	0:30:21	0:30:23
Ladies and gentlemen, I have an important announcement to make.	0:30:26	0:30:29
-Margaret and I are getting married. -Yes. It's paprika. -I'm so sorry.	0:30:29	0:30:33
That's OK. It's wash-and-wear.	0:30:33	0:30:36
(ANDREW) Yep. Honey? Where you at?	0:30:37	0:30:41
Uh... Here it is.	0:30:41	0:30:43
-Oh... -Come on down here, pumpkin.	0:30:45	0:30:48
-All right. -OK. -Oh, look at her. Look at her. -(APPLAUSE)	0:30:48	0:30:53
Right there, ladies and gentlemen. There she is.	0:30:53	0:30:55
-(WOMAN) Congratulations, Andrew. -Oh, thank you.	0:30:55	0:30:59
-Thank you very much. -(WOMAN) Let's get the champagne!	0:30:59	0:31:03
(CORK POPS) (LAUGHTER)	0:31:03	0:31:05
So, that was your idea of the perfect time to tell them we're engaged?	0:31:05	0:31:09
-Mm. -It was brilliant. Brilliant timing. -Andrew. Hi.	0:31:09	0:31:12
Gert? Oh, my God. Hey, hi. Wow. How you doing? I didn't know -	0:31:12	0:31:17
Your mom probably wanted it to be a surprise, so... surprise.	0:31:17	0:31:22
-Right. -(LAUGHS) And we're being completely rude.	0:31:22	0:31:26
-Hi. -Oh, God. This is my ex... -Hi. I'm Gertrude.	0:31:26	0:31:30
-Oh! Oh, wow. Wow! -You can call me Gert.	0:31:30	0:31:32
-Well, congratulations, you guys. -Thank you. -Thank you.	0:31:32	0:31:36
-So, did I miss the story? -What story? -What story?	0:31:36	0:31:39
-About how you proposed. -Oh! How a man proposes	0:31:39	0:31:44
-says a lot about his character. -Yes. -Yes, it does.	0:31:44	0:31:47
I actually would love to hear the story, Andrew. Would you tell us?	0:31:47	0:31:51
-(MAN) Yeah. -(CROWD MURMURS) Yeah. (GIGGLING)	0:31:51	0:31:54
You know what? Actually, Margaret loves telling this story,	0:31:54	0:31:59
so I'm just gonna let her go ahead and do that.	0:31:59	0:32:02
-I think we should just sit in rapture. -Huh! Wow, OK.	0:32:02	0:32:06
-Wow, where to begin... this story. -(CHUCKLES)	0:32:06	0:32:10
Well... um, wow. Mm, yeah.	0:32:10	0:32:15
OK, well, um, Andrew and I...	0:32:15	0:32:20
Andrew and I were about to celebrate our first anniversary together,	0:32:20	0:32:25
and I knew he'd been itching to ask me to marry him and he was scared.	0:32:25	0:32:29
Like a little tiny bird. So, I started leaving him little hints	0:32:29	0:32:33
because I knew he wouldn't have the guts to ask, but -	0:32:33	0:32:36
-That's not exactly how it happened. -No? -No. -Hm.	0:32:36	0:32:40
No. I mean, I picked up on all her little hints.	0:32:40	0:32:43
-This woman's about as subtle as a gun. -(ALL LAUGH)	0:32:43	0:32:46
What I was worried about was that she might find this little box -	0:32:46	0:32:50
Oh, the decoupage box that he made,	0:32:50	0:32:53
where he'd taken the time to cut out tiny little pictures of himself. Yes.	0:32:53	0:32:58
Just pasted all over the box. Oh! So beautiful.	0:32:58	0:33:02
So I opened that beautiful little decoupage	0:33:02	0:33:04
and out fluttered these tiny, little handcut heart confettis,	0:33:04	0:33:08
and once they cleared, I looked down, and I saw the most beautiful, big -	0:33:08	0:33:14
-Fat nothing. -(ALL) Oh. -No ring.	0:33:14	0:33:17
-No ring? -What? -No.	0:33:17	0:33:20
But inside that box, underneath all that crap,	0:33:20	0:33:23
there was a little handwritten note with the address to a hotel,	0:33:23	0:33:27
date, and time. Real Humphrey Bogart-type stuff.	0:33:27	0:33:30
-(MAN) Yeah! -Masculine.	0:33:30	0:33:33
-(GRUNTS) -Anyway, naturally, Margaret -	0:33:33	0:33:36
I thought he was seeing someone else. It was a terrible time for me,	0:33:36	0:33:39
but I went to that hotel anyway.	0:33:39	0:33:41
I went there and I pounded on the door,	0:33:41	0:33:43
but the door was already unlocked. And as swung open that door,...	0:33:43	0:33:48
-..there he was,... -Standing. -..kneeling.	0:33:48	0:33:50
-Like a man. -On a bed of rose petals, in a tuxedo. Your son.	0:33:50	0:33:54
Your son. And he was choking back soft, soft sobs.	0:33:54	0:33:59
And when he held back the tears and finally caught his breath, he said -	0:33:59	0:34:03
"Will you marry me?" And she said, "Yep." The end. Who's hungry?	0:34:03	0:34:06
(CROWD COOING)	0:34:06	0:34:08
That is quite a story.	0:34:10	0:34:12
-(GAMMY) Oh, Andy! -Gorgeous. -You are so sensitive.	0:34:12	0:34:16
-Handcut confetti? (LAUGHS) -Hey! Lets see a kiss	0:34:16	0:34:22
-from you two cuties. -(MAN) Give her a kiss! -No. Come on.	0:34:22	0:34:25
-Oh, yeah. -(GLASSES CLINKING) -Come on!	0:34:25	0:34:27
OK, all right. OK. Here we go. Ready?	0:34:27	0:34:30
-Mwah! -(LAUGHTER) What is this? Kiss her on the mouth like you mean it!	0:34:30	0:34:35
-(WOMAN) Kiss, kiss, kiss! -(CHANTS) Kiss her, kiss her!	0:34:35	0:34:39
(ALL CHANT) Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!	0:34:39	0:34:41
-Kiss her! Kiss her! -OK! OK.	0:34:41	0:34:45
-OK, all right. Here we go. -OK. OK. Just...	0:34:46	0:34:49
-(BOTH) Mwah! -Oh! -Yes!	0:34:49	0:34:52
Andy! Give her a real kiss!	0:34:52	0:34:55
-(CHUCKLES) Gammy. -A real one!	0:34:55	0:34:58
-(WOMAN) You can do it. -(Why don't we just do it really fast?)	0:34:58	0:35:01
-OK. -(BOTH) Mmmm.	0:35:01	0:35:04
(APPLAUSE)	0:35:04	0:35:07
-(MUFFLED) OK. -Mm. -Hmm.	0:35:07	0:35:09
Hm.	0:35:17	0:35:20
I'm so happy for you two!	0:35:20	0:35:22
-So happy! So happy! -(WOMAN) Let's get the champagne!	0:35:22	0:35:28
So, here we are.	0:35:28	0:35:30
-This is your bedroom. -Wow.	0:35:32	0:35:35
Wow, this is, um,... beautiful. A-And the view.	0:35:37	0:35:41
-And here's the bed. -Hm? Wow! Exquisite bed. Exquisite.	0:35:41	0:35:45
So, uh, where is, um, Andrew's room?	0:35:45	0:35:48
Oh, we're not under any illusions	0:35:48	0:35:50
that you two don't sleep in the same bed.	0:35:50	0:35:53
-(LAUGHS) -He'll sleep in here with you.	0:35:53	0:35:55
-Great, cos we love to snuggle, don't we, honey? -We're huge snugglers.	0:35:55	0:35:59
(DOG BARKS) Oh, my God. What is it?	0:35:59	0:36:01
-Whoa! -Calm down, Kevin. -Whoa! You are cute.	0:36:01	0:36:05
-Oh! -Who is this? -That's Kevin. I'm sorry, Margaret. -So cute.	0:36:05	0:36:10
We just rescued him from the pound, and he's still in training. Sorry.	0:36:10	0:36:14
Just be sure you don't let him outside,	0:36:14	0:36:16
-or the eagles will snatch him. -No, don't you listen to her.	0:36:16	0:36:20
-She's just pulling your leg, isn't she? -There are extra towels	0:36:20	0:36:24
-and linens and things in here if you need them. -And if you get chilly,	0:36:24	0:36:27
use this. It has special powers.	0:36:27	0:36:31
Oh, what kind of... What kind of special powers?	0:36:31	0:36:34
-I call it the Baby Maker. -OK, well. Then I guess we...	0:36:34	0:36:37
..gonna be super careful with that one. Don't throw it on the bed.	0:36:37	0:36:41
We'd better turn in. It's been quite an evening. Good night, everybody.	0:36:41	0:36:44
-Good night. -Sleep well. -Good night. -OK, good night, Gammy.	0:36:44	0:36:49
-(CHUCKLES) Good night. -Good night.	0:36:49	0:36:52
-Good night. -Good night, Gammy. Thank you so much.	0:36:54	0:36:57
-Sweet dreams. -Bye-bye, now. -Bye.	0:36:57	0:36:59
(DOOR CLOSING)	0:36:59	0:37:02
So, uh, you haven't been home in a while.	0:37:02	0:37:05
I haven't had a lot of vacation time the last three years.	0:37:05	0:37:08
Stop complaining.	0:37:08	0:37:10
Um,... don't look, OK?	0:37:13	0:37:16
OK.	0:37:16	0:37:18
-Are your... Are your eyes closed? -Completely.	0:37:19	0:37:22
-Are you sure? -Yes, I'm sure.	0:37:22	0:37:25
Those are the pyjamas you decided to bring to Alaska?	0:37:33	0:37:37
Uh, yes, because I was supposed to be in a hotel alone.	0:37:37	0:37:40
-Remember? -Can we just go to sleep? -Fine.	0:37:40	0:37:44
Great.	0:37:44	0:37:46
(EXHALES)	0:37:47	0:37:49
(EXHALES / CLEARS THROAT)	0:37:53	0:37:55
(SIGHS) Well... (CLEARS THROAT)	0:38:12	0:38:14
Looks like I won't be getting much sleep with the sun streaming in.	0:38:15	0:38:19
Thank you.	0:38:25	0:38:27
(PHONE RINGING)	0:38:41	0:38:43
(Andrew! Phone!)	0:38:47	0:38:50
(Andrew!)	0:38:50	0:38:52
(Crap. Andrew, Andrew, phone.)	0:38:52	0:38:55
-Andrew! -Yeah, right.	0:38:55	0:38:58
-(Andrew, where is it?) -Purse, side pocket.	0:39:02	0:39:04
(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) (THUMPING)	0:39:04	0:39:07
(PANTS)	0:39:07	0:39:09
Hello. Hello? Hello?	0:39:09	0:39:12
Frank! Frank, darling. Darling, Frank.	0:39:13	0:39:16
Are you there? Hello? Hello? Oh, crap.	0:39:16	0:39:18
I have horrible service, Frank. Give me just one minute.	0:39:18	0:39:21
-Oh, my God! Margaret! -(One... One minute.)	0:39:21	0:39:24
Frank, hold on just a second. Frank, hold on. No, no, no, no.	0:39:24	0:39:28
Frank. Frank, I'm sorry you feel I pressured you into doing Oprah,	0:39:28	0:39:32
but... Of course I want you to be happy. Yes, yes.	0:39:32	0:39:36
Frank. Frank. Frank, darling. Frank? It's going to be fine.	0:39:36	0:39:42
I can just call them and I can cancel.	0:39:42	0:39:44
You are so right, Frank. Yes, of course I am listening to you.	0:39:48	0:39:53
-Yes. I love listening to you, Frank. -(BARKS)	0:39:53	0:39:57
Ssh! Sit! Sit!	0:39:57	0:40:00
No. Not you, Frank. No, no...	0:40:00	0:40:03
-(YAPS) -Frank, if I may get down to it,	0:40:03	0:40:05
I think it would be a mistake to back out.	0:40:05	0:40:09
Because for so many years, you have - (BIRD CRIES)	0:40:09	0:40:12
..inspired me with your beautiful words...	0:40:12	0:40:15
(DOG BARKS) Dog, I'm on the phone! It's time that the world	0:40:15	0:40:19
got to enjoy them, as well. They are just so rich with...	0:40:19	0:40:22
passion, that I think we should all be privy to, and...	0:40:22	0:40:27
Frank, I just, er... I just want you to be happy!	0:40:27	0:40:30
Gimme that dog! And I need you to hold on just a second!	0:40:30	0:40:34
Just a second! Gimme that dog!	0:40:34	0:40:37
Come on! Come on, come on, come on!	0:40:37	0:40:40
Oh! Oh, oh! OK, OK!	0:40:40	0:40:44
Right, Frank. Right. So sorry! So sorry, so sorry!	0:40:44	0:40:48
I dropped the phone. Frank, I don't want to sell you on anything,	0:40:48	0:40:52
but this is your legacy, and it's up to you to present it to the world.	0:40:52	0:40:57
And... And... call me tomorrow with your decision,	0:40:57	0:41:00
and my phone is on all the time! (GASPS) Wait!	0:41:00	0:41:03
No! No! No, no, no...	0:41:03	0:41:05
Take the doggie. I need the phone. Take the dog!	0:41:05	0:41:09
Take the dog! I need that phone!	0:41:09	0:41:11
Take the dog! Take it!	0:41:11	0:41:14
-(BOTH LAUGH) -Is that cute, or what?	0:41:14	0:41:18
I know!	0:41:18	0:41:20
Morning, guys. Have you seen... Er...	0:41:20	0:41:23
She's playing with Kevin. We thought she didn't like him.	0:41:23	0:41:27
Go get her, Andy. We have a whole day planned for her,	0:41:27	0:41:30
-and she needs to get ready. -Tell her we have a big surprise for her.	0:41:30	0:41:34
Hmm...	0:41:34	0:41:36
Look! Give me my phone! Please just give me my phone!	0:41:38	0:41:41
-Come on! -What the hell are you doing?	0:41:41	0:41:44
My God, your grandmother was right. The eagle tried to take the dog.	0:41:44	0:41:48
I saved him, and then it came back and took my phone!	0:41:48	0:41:52
-Are you drunk? -I'm serious! Frank's calling me on that phone.	0:41:52	0:41:56
Relax, all right? We'll order another phone,	0:41:56	0:41:59
-same number, and get it tomorrow. -Really? -Yeah.	0:41:59	0:42:02
Oh, OK.	0:42:02	0:42:04
-All right. Well, you can go, then. -You have to get ready.	0:42:04	0:42:07
-You're going out with Mom and the girls. -I don't wanna go out.	0:42:07	0:42:11
-Shopping, sightseeing, and a surprise. -I hate shopping.	0:42:11	0:42:15
-You're going. -I'm not going. -Yes, you are.	0:42:15	0:42:18
Give me a hug. They'll think we're fighting.	0:42:18	0:42:20
-I don't wanna touch you. -Hug time. -I don't wanna! Andrew!	0:42:20	0:42:23
Oh, there we go! Yeah, that's nice.	0:42:23	0:42:27
Yeah. That's nice.	0:42:28	0:42:31
-There we go! Isn't that nice? -Mm-hm.	0:42:31	0:42:35
-Boop-boop-boop! -If you touch my ass one more time,	0:42:35	0:42:38
-I will cut your balls off in your sleep. OK? -Yeah.	0:42:38	0:42:42
-There you go. So, are we clear on that? -Yeah.	0:42:42	0:42:45
-Yeah. You're such a good fiance. -Yeah.	0:42:45	0:42:49
-(HITS BALL) Jeez... -You wanted to see me?	0:43:01	0:43:04
Your mom found these eco balls. They dissolve in water.	0:43:04	0:43:09
I dunno how she comes up with this stuff.	0:43:11	0:43:14
Anyway, she, er,... is a little peeved.	0:43:14	0:43:17
Apparently I wasn't the most gracious of hosts last night.	0:43:17	0:43:21
It was a little bit of a shock to find out you're getting married,	0:43:21	0:43:25
especially when none of us even knew you were dating.	0:43:25	0:43:29
The point is,... I owe you an apology.	0:43:29	0:43:32
Accepted.	0:43:32	0:43:35
And there's something else.	0:43:35	0:43:37
I've been going over my retirement plans recently.	0:43:37	0:43:42
It got me thinking.	0:43:42	0:43:44
I've done a lot of things in my life,	0:43:44	0:43:47
practically built an empire from the ground up...	0:43:47	0:43:50
-Doesn't mean anything - -Without someone to leave it to.	0:43:50	0:43:53
-We already discussed this. -I'd like to discuss it again.	0:43:53	0:43:56
You have responsibilities here.	0:43:56	0:43:59
I've been more than understanding about you goofing off in New York.	0:43:59	0:44:04
-I need you to quit playing around - -What I do is serious.	0:44:04	0:44:08
-You don't act seriously. -I'm sorry.	0:44:08	0:44:11
I feel sorry for you, Dad. I wish you had another son. I really do.	0:44:12	0:44:17
One who wanted to take over the family business,	0:44:17	0:44:20
marry somebody you approve of, but it's not me.	0:44:20	0:44:24
It must seem strange to you, my life, sitting in an office,	0:44:24	0:44:27
reading books. But it makes me happy.	0:44:27	0:44:30
Understand?	0:44:30	0:44:33
If that's what makes you happy, son, I got nothing to say.	0:44:35	0:44:39
Well, that's a first. You know what? Apology not accepted.	0:44:39	0:44:43
Have fun out here.	0:44:43	0:44:45
(ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH)	0:44:57	0:45:00
I hope you are ready for your big surprise,	0:45:04	0:45:07
because this is one of Sitka's greatest treasures.	0:45:07	0:45:10
-Oh, yeah. -Oh, yeah.	0:45:10	0:45:12
OK, this is the big surprise I was telling you about!	0:45:12	0:45:16
-You ready? -(PULSATING INTRO TO "RELAX" - FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD)	0:45:16	0:45:20
-Oh, Margaret, you are gonna love it! -(CHEERING)	0:45:20	0:45:23
# When you wanna come...	0:45:29	0:45:32
(ALL CHEER AND SCREAM)	0:45:32	0:45:34
# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it	0:45:34	0:45:38
# Relax, don't do it	0:45:38	0:45:40
# When you wanna come	0:45:40	0:45:42
# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna suck to it	0:45:42	0:45:46
# Relax, don't do it	0:45:46	0:45:49
# When you wanna come	0:45:49	0:45:52
-He's the only exotic dancer on the island. -We're lucky to have him!	0:45:52	0:45:57
# Relax, don't do it	0:45:58	0:46:00
# When you wanna go to it	0:46:00	0:46:02
# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come	0:46:02	0:46:04
Work it, Ramone!	0:46:04	0:46:07
-Wow! -Over here, Ramone!	0:46:07	0:46:10
Over here, honey!	0:46:10	0:46:13
Show her what she's gonna be missing!	0:46:13	0:46:16
-Come, my sexy princess. -Oh, not necessary.	0:46:16	0:46:19
It's a really nice gesture, but I really need to...	0:46:19	0:46:23
OK. Pluck my eyes out. OK.	0:46:23	0:46:26
OK. Here we go. (ALL CHEER)	0:46:26	0:46:29
(PULSATING MUSIC CONTINUES)	0:46:29	0:46:32
(ALL CHEER AND WHISTLE)	0:46:32	0:46:35
Give it to her, Ramone!	0:46:35	0:46:37
Give it to her!	0:46:42	0:46:46
(ALL SCREAM)	0:46:51	0:46:54
# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna... #	0:46:54	0:46:56
That's a move I haven't seen!	0:46:56	0:46:59
-Look at her face! -(ALL LAUGH)	0:46:59	0:47:03
I don't wanna touch you.	0:47:12	0:47:15
Oh, OK. Thanks. Very sweet.	0:47:15	0:47:18
No, no, no... (POUNDING MUSIC CONTINUES)	0:47:18	0:47:21
-Smack him! -What? -Smack his ass!	0:47:21	0:47:25
Smack him? Oh, OK. Um...	0:47:25	0:47:29
-Smack him, Margaret! -Give it to him!	0:47:29	0:47:32
Can I get down now?	0:47:35	0:47:37
# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna...	0:47:37	0:47:41
(CHEERING) (POUNDING MUSIC)	0:47:41	0:47:44
Free! Be free...	0:47:47	0:47:50
Hey, there you are! How you holding up?	0:47:57	0:48:00
Oh, fine, fine. Just working on my tan.	0:48:00	0:48:03
Uh-huh. The Paxtons can be a bit overwhelming at times.	0:48:03	0:48:07
Yes. Yes.	0:48:07	0:48:09
-It's a little different than New York, huh? -A little bit.	0:48:09	0:48:12
-You ever been? -No. -No?	0:48:12	0:48:15
-That was Andy's dream, not mine. -You guys were pretty serious, huh?	0:48:15	0:48:19
Well, we dated in high school and all through college,	0:48:19	0:48:23
but we were kids.	0:48:23	0:48:25
And you guys called it off because of...	0:48:26	0:48:29
Well, um,...	0:48:29	0:48:32
..the night before we graduated school,	0:48:33	0:48:36
he proposed, and said he wanted to elope	0:48:36	0:48:39
and run away to New York with me.	0:48:39	0:48:42
-And... -You said no.	0:48:42	0:48:45
And I said no.	0:48:45	0:48:47
Yeah. I've never been anywhere but here.	0:48:47	0:48:50
This is home.	0:48:50	0:48:52
But, anyway, you're a lucky girl. He really is the best.	0:48:52	0:48:59
Which you obviously already know.	0:48:59	0:49:01
Oh, yep. Yep. Very much so. Yeah.	0:49:01	0:49:05
Well,... cheers to you guys.	0:49:06	0:49:10
Oh. Thank you.	0:49:11	0:49:13
(MUSIC POUNDS) (ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH)	0:49:16	0:49:19
Looks like Ramone's wrapping it up!	0:49:19	0:49:22
-Go, Annie! -Whoo!	0:49:22	0:49:25
-I've never seen him so... -No, he really got down.	0:49:26	0:49:30
-(BOTH LAUGH) -He was wonderful.	0:49:30	0:49:34
Oh, no!	0:49:34	0:49:36
-(ROCK MUSIC BLARES OVER HEADPHONES) -Andrew!	0:49:38	0:49:43
Andrew, honey, is everything OK?	0:49:43	0:49:48
-Wh-... What's he doing? -Er, something's up.	0:49:48	0:49:51
It's best to leave him alone. Come on, honey.	0:49:51	0:49:55
(MUSIC CONTINUES TO BLARE)	0:49:55	0:49:58
-"(COMMENTARY)" -Hey, what are you doing?	0:49:58	0:50:01
-I'm watching that. -Why is Andrew out there	0:50:01	0:50:04
hollowing out that old stupid canoe again?	0:50:04	0:50:07
-Maybe he's planning to escape. Why? -Er, I'm so tired.	0:50:07	0:50:11
I think I'm gonna take a shower, wash off Ramone's coconut body oil.	0:50:11	0:50:15
-Sure. -I had a great day today. Thank you.	0:50:15	0:50:18
-What did you do? -I didn't do anything.	0:50:20	0:50:23
I mean, I just had a frank conversation with him	0:50:23	0:50:27
-about his future. -Oh, that's a good idea(!)	0:50:27	0:50:30
That's a good idea, because he will never come back home now.	0:50:30	0:50:34
He's my son. I only get to see him every three years because of you!	0:50:34	0:50:38
-Because of you! I've had enough. -(BARKS)	0:50:38	0:50:42
-You are gonna be supportive of him marrying Margaret... -Ssh!	0:50:42	0:50:45
-(CONTINUES TO BARK) -If we're not careful,	0:50:45	0:50:48
we are gonna end up in this great big house, just you and me,	0:50:48	0:50:52
alone, and everything we're angry about,	0:50:52	0:50:55
and God forbid that they should have a grandchild we never get to see.	0:50:55	0:51:00
You are gonna fix this, Joe! I mean it. Fix it now!	0:51:00	0:51:04
# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it	0:51:08	0:51:11
# Relax... Oh, where's a towel?	0:51:11	0:51:15
(ROCK MUSIC BLARES OVER HEADPHONES)	0:51:18	0:51:21
Towel...	0:51:21	0:51:23
Towel, towel, towel...	0:51:25	0:51:27
This is what they have for a towel?! Ridiculous. I can't get dry!	0:51:27	0:51:32
Hello? (MUSIC CONTINUES TO BLARE)	0:51:34	0:51:37
Hello?	0:51:37	0:51:40
Oh!	0:51:44	0:51:46
That's OK... (DOG BARKS)	0:51:46	0:51:49
Oh, no, no, no. Just... I'm sorry. Let me just get a towel.	0:51:49	0:51:54
-Just get a towel. -(BARKS) -Oh!	0:51:54	0:51:56
Look, you need to... I'm sorry, OK?	0:51:56	0:51:59
I'm sorry for feeding you to the eagle.	0:51:59	0:52:02
(DOG CONTINUES TO BARK)	0:52:02	0:52:04
-Go away. -(BARKS)	0:52:06	0:52:08
Just let me get a towel. Go!	0:52:08	0:52:11
(HAIRDRYER ROARS)	0:52:15	0:52:18
Ah! Huh?	0:52:18	0:52:20
-(WHIMPERS) -How you like that? Huh?	0:52:20	0:52:23
Take it. Take it. That's what I'm talking about.	0:52:23	0:52:26
You like that?	0:52:26	0:52:30
Oh... You like it.	0:52:30	0:52:32
-Come here. Come to Momma. -(BARKS)	0:52:37	0:52:40
That's right. Get on the carpet. That's a good boy!	0:52:40	0:52:44
Yes! That's a good boy!	0:52:44	0:52:47
-Come on! Come on! -(BARKS)	0:52:47	0:52:50
-Oh! -What the...	0:52:54	0:52:56
-Oh! -Oh, my God!	0:52:58	0:53:00
-Why are you naked? -Why are you wet? -Don't look at me!	0:53:00	0:53:04
-I don't understand! Why are you wet? -Don't... look at me!	0:53:04	0:53:08
Oh, you're showing everything! Cover it up, for the love of God!	0:53:08	0:53:13
Not the baby-maker... Explain yourself, please!	0:53:15	0:53:18
-Explain myself? -Yes. -I was outside!	0:53:18	0:53:21
-And you didn't hear me? -I was listening to...	0:53:21	0:53:24
What are you doing home? You jumped me out of nowhere!	0:53:24	0:53:27
I didn't mean to! Your dog was attacking me,	0:53:27	0:53:30
-and I had to run, and I ran into you! -What is it with you and this dog?	0:53:30	0:53:35
-Just... You know! Just... go! Go! -Fine.	0:53:35	0:53:38
-Go take a shower. You stink. -Nice tattoo, by the way. -What?	0:53:38	0:53:41
-(BARKS) -See? Exactly! You see that?!	0:53:41	0:53:46
Oh, barely made it out with my life there!	0:53:46	0:53:48
See the size of the teeth on that thing?	0:53:48	0:53:51
(CLEARS THROAT / RUSTLES SHEETS)	0:54:00	0:54:03
So,...	0:54:05	0:54:07
..so naked!	0:54:09	0:54:11
Can we, er, not talk about that, please?	0:54:11	0:54:15
Just sayin'.	0:54:15	0:54:17
So, er, what's the deal with you and your father?	0:54:21	0:54:24
Oh! I'm sorry. That question is not in the binder.	0:54:24	0:54:28
Really? I thought you said we needed to learn all this...	0:54:28	0:54:32
-Not about that. -But if the guy asks -	0:54:32	0:54:35
Not about that, Margaret! Good night.	0:54:35	0:54:38
(SIGHS)	0:54:48	0:54:50
-(CLEARS THROAT) -I like the Psychic Network.	0:54:50	0:54:53
-What? -Not in the "isn't it funny, she likes that trash" kind of way.	0:54:55	0:54:59
I actually quite enjoy it.	0:54:59	0:55:02
Um...	0:55:02	0:55:03
I took disco lessons in the sixth grade.	0:55:06	0:55:09
My first concert was Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock.	0:55:11	0:55:15
I think Brian Dennehy is sexy.	0:55:17	0:55:19
Don't like flowers in the house cos they remind me of funerals.	0:55:19	0:55:24
Never played a video game.	0:55:24	0:55:26
I read Wuthering Heights every Christmas.	0:55:26	0:55:29
It's my favourite book.	0:55:30	0:55:33
Haven't... slept with a man in over a year now.	0:55:35	0:55:39
And I went to the bathroom and cried	0:55:41	0:55:44
after Bob called me a poisonous bitch.	0:55:44	0:55:47
And the, er, bird tattoo... They're swallows.	0:55:48	0:55:52
Got them when I was 16, after my parents died.	0:55:54	0:55:59
It was stupid. (CLEARS THROAT)	0:56:01	0:56:04
I'm sure there's many, many other things,	0:56:04	0:56:06
but that's all I can come up with right now.	0:56:06	0:56:10
Are you, er, there?	0:56:15	0:56:18
I'm here.	0:56:19	0:56:21
Just processing.	0:56:23	0:56:26
-You really haven't slept with anyone in 18 months? -Oh, my God!	0:56:31	0:56:35
-Out of all that, that's all you got? -That's a long time!	0:56:35	0:56:38
-Yeah, well, I've been a little busy. -Yeah...	0:56:38	0:56:41
-Who's, er,... Rob Base and DJ... -E-Z Rock?	0:56:44	0:56:49
-Yeah. -You know!	0:56:49	0:56:52
# It takes two to make a thing go right	0:56:52	0:56:54
# It takes two to make it out of sight...	0:56:54	0:56:57
-No? -Nn-nn. -They were good.	0:56:57	0:56:59
-(CHUCKLES) -What?	0:57:02	0:57:04
Nothing.	0:57:04	0:57:07
I know who they are. I just wanted to hear you sing it.	0:57:07	0:57:10
(LAUGHS)	0:57:10	0:57:12
(GRUNTS)	0:57:14	0:57:16
-Margaret? -Yes?	0:57:18	0:57:21
Don't take this the wrong way.	0:57:22	0:57:25
OK.	0:57:26	0:57:28
You are a very,...	0:57:29	0:57:31
very beautiful woman.	0:57:31	0:57:34
# I'm gonna rock right now	0:57:38	0:57:40
# I'm Rob Base and I came to get down	0:57:40	0:57:43
(BOTH) # I'm not internationally known	0:57:43	0:57:45
# But I'm known to rock the microphone	0:57:45	0:57:47
-(PIERCINGLY) -# It takes two to make a thing go right	0:57:47	0:57:51
-(LAUGHS) -# It takes two to make it out of sight	0:57:51	0:57:55
-# Dah-dah-dah -# It takes two to make a thing go right	0:57:55	0:57:58
Feel it deep, feel it low.	0:57:58	0:58:01
# It takes two... God, I can't sing that high!	0:58:01	0:58:04
(BOTH LAUGH)	0:58:04	0:58:07
(GASPS) Where am I?	0:58:27	0:58:30
What time is it? "(BEEPING)" What time is it?	0:58:30	0:58:33
(AUTOMATIC BLINDS WHOOSH) Ooh! Ssh, ssh...	0:58:33	0:58:36
Ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh! (WHOOSHING STOPS)	0:58:36	0:58:38
Oh, God!	0:58:50	0:58:52
-(KNOCK AT DOOR) -Room service! Breakfast for the happy couple!	0:59:11	0:59:16
-(Andrew! Andrew!) -(GRUNTS)	0:59:16	0:59:18
(Andrew!)	0:59:18	0:59:20
(Your mother's at the door! Get up!)	0:59:20	0:59:22
(Up here.) Just a second!	0:59:22	0:59:26
-Not the baby blanket! -All right... -Not the baby blanket. Get it off!	0:59:29	0:59:33
-Not the baby... All right. -Wait a second. Hold on.	0:59:33	0:59:36
-What? -Are you wearing makeup? -No, of course not!	0:59:36	0:59:40
-What do I do? -Just spoon me. Spoon.	0:59:40	0:59:42
-Oh, my God, what is that? -I'm sorry! It's morning!	0:59:42	0:59:46
-What do you mean, it's morning? -Are you OK?	0:59:46	0:59:49
Come in! One second. Everything's fine!	0:59:49	0:59:52
Disgusting... Ow! You're on my hair. OK, just...	0:59:52	0:59:56
-Oh, wow! -Ooh, smells good!	1:00:02	1:00:04
-Cinnamon rolls! -You shouldn't have gone to that trouble.	1:00:04	1:00:08
Oh, you're family now. It's no trouble.	1:00:08	1:00:11
Hey! Room for one more?	1:00:11	1:00:13
Wow. Could we not do the Brady family meeting right now?	1:00:13	1:00:17
We just got up.	1:00:17	1:00:19
Your mother and I have a proposition,	1:00:19	1:00:22
and I think it's a terrific idea...	1:00:22	1:00:25
We want you to get married here tomorrow.	1:00:25	1:00:28
-What? What... -You're gonna get married anyway,	1:00:29	1:00:33
so why don't you get married here, where we can be all together,	1:00:33	1:00:37
and that way Grandma Annie can be a part of it.	1:00:37	1:00:40
-Oh... -No. -No.	1:00:40	1:00:43
It's Gammy's big birthday tomorrow night.	1:00:43	1:00:46
-Big day for her. -We don't wanna ruin it.	1:00:46	1:00:49
I've had 89 birthday parties. I don't need another one!	1:00:49	1:00:53
-Oh, Gammy... -It would be a dream come true	1:00:53	1:00:56
for me to see my one grandchild's wedding.	1:00:56	1:00:58
A dream come true! So you'll do it?	1:00:58	1:01:02
Nn-nn...	1:01:02	1:01:04
-Before I'm dead? -(BOTH) OK! -OK, fine!	1:01:04	1:01:07
-(BOTH LAUGH) -Yes!	1:01:07	1:01:09
We will do everything. You can get married like we did, in the barn!	1:01:09	1:01:14
-It's a Paxton family tradition! -Oh, wow!	1:01:14	1:01:17
-Yup! -Wow!	1:01:17	1:01:20
-Oh, I've always wanted to get married in a,... in a barn! -I have.	1:01:20	1:01:24
It's a sign! A sign from the universe	1:01:24	1:01:28
that you're meant to be together. We must give thanks, I tell you.	1:01:28	1:01:32
Come, come. We must give thanks.	1:01:32	1:01:35
OK. I know I should leave you alone now.	1:01:35	1:01:38
-But we're just so excited! -(BOTH LAUGH)	1:01:38	1:01:41
-It's the greatest! -Really excited!	1:01:41	1:01:44
Go! Go!	1:01:44	1:01:46
Go...	1:01:46	1:01:48
Oh, my God.	1:01:52	1:01:54
When my mom finds out that this whole thing is a sham,	1:01:54	1:01:57
she's gonna be crushed, and my grandmother's gonna die.	1:01:57	1:02:00
-She won't find out. -My father! What's with the wedding thing?	1:02:00	1:02:04
-Where did that come from? -She got him worked up into it.	1:02:04	1:02:08
-She's not gonna find out. -Oh, God! Margaret!	1:02:08	1:02:10
They're not gonna find out, OK? Just relax. It's gonna be OK.	1:02:10	1:02:15
It's not like we're gonna be married forever.	1:02:15	1:02:18
We'll be happily divorced before we know it. It'll be fine.	1:02:18	1:02:21
It'll be fine.	1:02:21	1:02:24
OK?	1:02:24	1:02:25
Yeah.	1:02:25	1:02:28
-I'll get us some coffee. -Yeah.	1:02:31	1:02:33
So, would you like a cinnamon soy latte?	1:02:33	1:02:38
(LAUGHS)	1:02:38	1:02:39
You're right. We'll get a quickie divorce. We'll be fine.	1:02:43	1:02:47
-It's gonna be fine. -Everything is going to be great.	1:02:47	1:02:50
This little missus will learn to cook,	1:02:50	1:02:53
so she can take care of her husband. Don't want him leaving me	1:02:53	1:02:57
-for another woman. -Haven't left you yet, Margaret.	1:02:57	1:03:00
I got it. Let go.	1:03:00	1:03:03
-You all right? -Yeah! Um...	1:03:05	1:03:07
-You know what? I'm gonna go. -Where?	1:03:07	1:03:10
I just kinda feel like going outside.	1:03:10	1:03:13
-All right. Um, that's the bathroom. -Oh, yeah. I know.	1:03:13	1:03:17
-I'm gonna go to the bathroom, then I'm gonna go outside. -All right.	1:03:17	1:03:21
Whoo! All right.	1:03:21	1:03:24
OK. You just... You just have to focus, Margaret.	1:03:34	1:03:38
Just focus. This is a business deal. This is just a business deal.	1:03:38	1:03:42
Everything's gonna be just fine.	1:03:42	1:03:45
OK, this is a little rough... I can do this...	1:03:47	1:03:51
(BIKE RATTLES) Oh, my God! God, I hate nature!	1:03:51	1:03:55
I hate it! Not stopping...	1:03:55	1:03:58
Oh, why are you not stopping?!	1:03:58	1:04:02
Stop, stop, stop! Stop!	1:04:02	1:04:04
(GASPS)	1:04:04	1:04:06
I just wanted... some air.	1:04:06	1:04:10
OK...	1:04:10	1:04:12
(LOW, SLOW DRUMBEAT)	1:04:12	1:04:14
What is that? (FLUTE MELODY)	1:04:14	1:04:17
What now? What is that?	1:04:17	1:04:19
(DRUMBEAT CONTINUES) What is that?	1:04:19	1:04:22
What is that...?	1:04:22	1:04:24
(MUSIC CONTINUES) (WOMAN CHANTS)	1:04:32	1:04:36
What is that?	1:04:36	1:04:38
(WOMAN CONTINUES TO CHANT IN NATIVE AMERICAN LANGUAGE)	1:04:38	1:04:42
(CONTINUES TO CHANT)	1:04:48	1:04:51
(CALLS OUT A SUMMONS) Come to me, Margaret of New York!	1:04:51	1:04:56
It is I, Grandma Annie!	1:04:57	1:04:59
-Oh! -I see you are a curious one.	1:04:59	1:05:03
Come. See how I give thanks to Mother Earth.	1:05:03	1:05:06
You know, I'm actually not that curious. I'll just...	1:05:06	1:05:09
Look around you. Mother Earth has provided all this,	1:05:09	1:05:12
just as she brought you and Andrew together to be joined.	1:05:12	1:05:17
-Oh! -We must give thanks,	1:05:17	1:05:19
and ask that your loins be abundantly fertile.	1:05:19	1:05:22
Come, dance with me in celebration!	1:05:22	1:05:26
You know, can I just thank her from here?	1:05:26	1:05:29
-I insist! -OK! OK, OK...	1:05:29	1:05:32
I will, er... I will come down and dance with you.	1:05:32	1:05:36
Follow and learn.	1:05:37	1:05:40
(CHANTS IN NATIVE AMERICAN LANGUAGE)	1:05:40	1:05:44
Come on, Margaret! Feel the rhythm of the drums!	1:05:44	1:05:47
-Now you! -Me, what?	1:05:47	1:05:49
-Chant! -Chant what? -Whatever comes to you!	1:05:49	1:05:52
-It is the way. -But I don't know any chants.	1:05:52	1:05:55
To the trees! Use your vowels. Eee! Ooo!	1:05:55	1:05:59
-Ooo, eee... -Yes! Chant!	1:05:59	1:06:02
Eee... The trees...	1:06:02	1:06:04
-To the universe! -The universe! Ah, yes. Universe!	1:06:04	1:06:08
(Oh, to the crazy... To the window, to the window!)	1:06:08	1:06:12
(To the wall, to the wall, to the sweat drip down my balls,	1:06:12	1:06:15
-(to all you bitches...) -Louder!	1:06:15	1:06:18
# To the window, to the window	1:06:18	1:06:19
# To the walls, to the walls	1:06:19	1:06:21
# To the sweat drip down my balls	1:06:21	1:06:23
# To all you bitches, crawl	1:06:23	1:06:25
# All skeet-skeet, mother	1:06:25	1:06:26
# All skeet-skeet, goddamn	1:06:26	1:06:28
# To the window, to the wall	1:06:28	1:06:31
# To the sweat drip down my balls	1:06:31	1:06:34
# To all you bitches, crawl	1:06:34	1:06:36
# All skeet-skeet, goddamn	1:06:36	1:06:38
# To the window, to the window	1:06:38	1:06:41
# To the wall, to the wall	1:06:41	1:06:42
# To the sweat drip down my, oh	1:06:42	1:06:44
# To all you bitches, crawl	1:06:44	1:06:46
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...	1:06:46	1:06:48
Gammy! Let's take it to the bridge! Whoo!	1:06:48	1:06:52
# Let me see you get low, you scared, you scared	1:06:52	1:06:54
-# Drop your ass to the floor -# You scared	1:06:54	1:06:55
# Let me see you get low, you scared, you scared	1:06:55	1:06:58
-# Drop your ass to the floor -# You scared	1:06:58	1:07:00
# Let me see you get low, you scared, you scared	1:07:00	1:07:01
-# Your butt to the flo', you scared -# You scared	1:07:01	1:07:03
# Stop, now wiggle it	1:07:03	1:07:05
# Now stop, whoo, wiggle it...	1:07:05	1:07:07
What you doing?	1:07:07	1:07:09
Oh! Er...	1:07:09	1:07:11
Yeah, you know, Gammy wanted me to,...	1:07:11	1:07:15
you know, chant from the heart.	1:07:15	1:07:17
Balls? That's what came to your heart?	1:07:17	1:07:21
You know, it, er,... went with the beat.	1:07:21	1:07:23
-Your phone arrived. Wanna come pick it up? -Oh, yes!	1:07:23	1:07:27
I wanna go. Oh... Hold on. Is it OK if I go with him?	1:07:27	1:07:32
Whatever you do is what shall be.	1:07:32	1:07:35
But you're OK if I go?	1:07:35	1:07:37
-Fine! (LAUGHS) -Bye, Gammy.	1:07:37	1:07:40
-You're a freak... -Shut up!	1:07:40	1:07:43
-(LAUGHS) -Would you, please? -(LAUGHS) Ow!	1:07:43	1:07:47
-Hey, buddy! -Andrew! Hey!	1:08:04	1:08:07
-You got that phone I ordered? -Yes. It came in. How are you?	1:08:07	1:08:10
-Great. You? -Good!	1:08:10	1:08:12
Hola!	1:08:13	1:08:15
-Hey! Hi! -Remember this?	1:08:15	1:08:18
-# Relax, don't do it... -Yes. Wonderful.	1:08:18	1:08:22
-Wonderful. -Remember that? -Yes!	1:08:22	1:08:24
-# Don't do it... -I know! -# When you wanna come...	1:08:24	1:08:28
I think you made quite an impression on Ramone.	1:08:29	1:08:32
The part where I burst into tears really brought us together.	1:08:32	1:08:35
Fun fact about Andrew, number 11. I like Pringles. They're delicious.	1:08:35	1:08:39
All Hostess products. Coke, never Pepsi. Beef jerky.	1:08:39	1:08:42
-What are you, like, 13? -Mmm! -Here we go.	1:08:42	1:08:45
-It's all charged up, Andrew. -Thanks, buddy.	1:08:45	1:08:48
And I put your lady's number in, too.	1:08:48	1:08:51
-Thank you. -Milady!	1:08:51	1:08:54
(SQUEAKS PLAYFULLY)	1:08:54	1:08:56
Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.	1:08:56	1:08:59
Oh, my God. I have 37 messages.	1:09:03	1:09:06
Shit! I need a computer. Is there a computer in this godforsaken town?	1:09:06	1:09:10
OK. When it runs out, it gives you a warning.	1:09:13	1:09:17
Just put in more dimes.	1:09:17	1:09:19
-There you go. -What... You're kidding. Dimes?!	1:09:19	1:09:23
I'll be outside. Yell if you need me.	1:09:23	1:09:25
-What am I supposed to do... -You'll be fine.	1:09:25	1:09:28
OK, I can figure this out. I'm an intelligent woman.	1:09:28	1:09:33
Block 'em out, block 'em out. There you go. OK.	1:09:33	1:09:36
(CLEARS THROAT) Now... "(DIAL-UP TONE WHISTLES)"	1:09:36	1:09:39
What is that? What is that? "(WHISTLING / HISSING)"	1:09:39	1:09:43
Um... Er, excuse me. Excuse...	1:09:44	1:09:47
"(BEEPING)" OK. Just...	1:09:50	1:09:53
OK.	1:09:55	1:09:57
-So, it was nice to see Gertrude, huh? -Yeah!	1:10:23	1:10:27
-She looked really pretty today. -Yeah, she did.	1:10:27	1:10:31
Mm-hm. Must be nice to see each other again,	1:10:31	1:10:35
-and just catch up. -It's definitely good to see her.	1:10:35	1:10:39
Definitely. It's been a long time.	1:10:39	1:10:41
Oh, there they are! There they are! Margaret!	1:10:41	1:10:45
-We need Margaret. -We're gonna have to steal you away.	1:10:45	1:10:49
-Oh, no. I'm just gonna... -Not to worry! No strippers,	1:10:49	1:10:53
-no chanting in the woods. Promise! -Oh, well... -Come on.	1:10:53	1:10:57
But not you. It's girl stuff. You'd hate it.	1:10:57	1:11:00
-But... -Come on!	1:11:00	1:11:03
OK. Well, I... Are these shoes OK for what we're gonna do?	1:11:03	1:11:07
I can't believe this is happening!	1:11:07	1:11:10
My mother made this dress by hand,	1:11:10	1:11:13
in this very shop, in 1929! (LAUGHS)	1:11:13	1:11:17
It's funny how things come back in style.	1:11:17	1:11:20
-Just finishing up the buttons. -Don't worry about the fit.	1:11:20	1:11:24
-Annie is the best tailor in southeast Alaska. -Oh...!	1:11:24	1:11:27
Well, incredible. Maybe a tad loose in certain areas,	1:11:30	1:11:33
-but otherwise... -Oh, sorry.	1:11:33	1:11:35
I'm a bit chesty to begin with, and I happened to be knocked up	1:11:35	1:11:39
when I wore this. (LAUGHS)	1:11:39	1:11:42
Oh... Let's see if we can find your boobs.	1:11:42	1:11:44
-They're in there somewhere. -Er, it's there.	1:11:46	1:11:49
This is like an Easter-egg hunt!	1:11:49	1:11:52
Maybe they shrunk up in the cold Alaskan air.	1:11:52	1:11:55
-(ALL LAUGH) -Oh, there they are!	1:11:55	1:11:59
-Yes. That would be... -There, that's right.	1:11:59	1:12:02
I was thinking, if you like,	1:12:02	1:12:05
maybe we could head down your way for the holidays this year.	1:12:05	1:12:09
Oh! That would, er... That would be nice.	1:12:09	1:12:12
Or maybe we could come to you, too.	1:12:12	1:12:14
Well, that would be lovely.	1:12:16	1:12:18
I would like that very much.	1:12:19	1:12:22
Oh, Grace, for godsake! We got work to do.	1:12:22	1:12:25
-I know. Sorry. -Go make yourself some tea.	1:12:25	1:12:28
I'll finish this. Go!	1:12:28	1:12:30
Now, let's make this absolute perfection.	1:12:30	1:12:34
(CHUCKLES)	1:12:36	1:12:38
Now, just one special touch, and you're ready.	1:12:38	1:12:42
It's been in the family for more than 150 years.	1:12:46	1:12:50
-Annie, it's beautiful, but I - -Ssh! I'm not finished. -Oh, sorry.	1:12:50	1:12:55
My great grandfather gave it to my great grandmother	1:12:55	1:12:59
when they got married. They were quite a scandal, you know.	1:12:59	1:13:03
He was Russian and she was Tlingit.	1:13:03	1:13:06
Back then, you had to get approval from every member of the tribe	1:13:06	1:13:10
before you got married. Almost broke them up!	1:13:10	1:13:13
Well, how did they stay together, then?	1:13:13	1:13:15
She was a lot like you. Tough.	1:13:15	1:13:18
Wouldn't take no for an answer.	1:13:18	1:13:21
She was good for him.	1:13:21	1:13:23
I want you to have it.	1:13:23	1:13:26
-I can't. -I don't wanna hear it!	1:13:26	1:13:29
Grandmothers love to give their stuff to their grandchildren.	1:13:29	1:13:33
It makes us feel like we'll still be part of your lives	1:13:33	1:13:36
even after we're gone. Take it!	1:13:36	1:13:39
-(CLEARS THROAT) -Are... Are you...	1:13:43	1:13:46
Are you all right, dear?	1:13:46	1:13:48
(SIGHS) I, er...	1:13:48	1:13:51
I... Well, um...	1:13:53	1:13:56
I, er...	1:13:58	1:14:00
I just, er... I just wanted to...	1:14:00	1:14:03
make sure there was enough time to get all the sewing done.	1:14:03	1:14:06
Oh! Don't you worry about that! You're gonna be beautiful.	1:14:06	1:14:11
Now, let's get you out of those pins.	1:14:11	1:14:14
All right!	1:14:36	1:14:39
(STARTS ENGINE)	1:14:40	1:14:42
Get this untied... Hop on in.	1:14:43	1:14:46
Hey! Hey, hey!	1:14:50	1:14:52
Whoa! What... Mind telling me what the hell's wrong?	1:14:52	1:14:56
I just needed to get away from everybody! Stop talking, please!	1:14:56	1:15:00
Do you mind telling me what's happening now?	1:15:07	1:15:11
Margaret!	1:15:11	1:15:13
-Margaret! -I forgot, OK?	1:15:14	1:15:17
-You forget what? -I forgot what it was like to have a family!	1:15:17	1:15:21
I've been on my own since I was 16. I forgot what it felt like	1:15:21	1:15:24
to have people love you, and make you breakfast,	1:15:24	1:15:27
and say, "We'd love to come down for the holidays,"	1:15:27	1:15:30
and I say, "Why don't we come up and see you instead,"	1:15:30	1:15:33
and give you necklaces, and you have all that here, and you have Gertrude,	1:15:33	1:15:37
-and I'm just screwing it up! -No. I agreed to this.	1:15:37	1:15:40
-I was there, remember? -Your family loves you. -I know that!	1:15:40	1:15:44
-And you'd put them through this? -They're not gonna find out!	1:15:44	1:15:47
-How do you know? -You said so yourself.	1:15:47	1:15:50
-My God, if your mother... -Agh!	1:15:50	1:15:53
-The boat is moving! -What if Gammy finds out?	1:15:53	1:15:56
-She's gonna have a heart attack! -She's gonna be fine! Calm down!	1:15:56	1:16:01
Hold on!	1:16:01	1:16:03
Whoa! I don't think that hijacking a boat	1:16:04	1:16:07
is the proper way to express your frustration.	1:16:07	1:16:11
Now... Oh, now you decide to shut up... Margaret?!	1:16:11	1:16:15
-Margaret?! -Andrew! -Margaret!	1:16:16	1:16:19
Andy!	1:16:22	1:16:24
Margaret, to the buoy!	1:16:24	1:16:27
-What? -To the buoy!	1:16:27	1:16:29
OK!	1:16:29	1:16:31
-All right! Come on. Gimme your hand. -(SOBS) -Gimme your hand!	1:16:44	1:16:48
Margaret!	1:16:48	1:16:50
Gimme... Come on, gimme your hand. Come on. I got you, I got you.	1:16:50	1:16:54
I got you.	1:16:55	1:16:57
Come on! God, what the hell were you thinking?	1:16:59	1:17:02
-You could have been killed. -You turned the boat,	1:17:02	1:17:05
-and made me fall in, you jackass. -You let go the wheel, Ahab.	1:17:05	1:17:08
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -Come here. You got to get warm.	1:17:08	1:17:12
Come on. Come on.	1:17:12	1:17:15
It's OK.	1:17:15	1:17:17
It's OK.	1:17:19	1:17:21
It's OK.	1:17:23	1:17:25
I wanna talk to both of you.	1:17:55	1:17:57
Your mother is never to hear about any of this.	1:18:09	1:18:12
-Told you I'd check up on you! -What did you do?	1:18:23	1:18:27
I got a phone call from Mr Gilbertson here,	1:18:27	1:18:30
who told me that if you were lying, and he believes that you are,	1:18:30	1:18:34
he would send you to prison. So I flew him up here.	1:18:34	1:18:38
-Dad... -Luckily for you,	1:18:38	1:18:40
your father negotiated a deal on your behalf.	1:18:40	1:18:43
Now, this offer's gonna last for 20 seconds, so listen closely.	1:18:43	1:18:47
You're gonna make a statement admitting this marriage is a sham,	1:18:47	1:18:50
or you go to prison. Tell the truth, you're off the hook.	1:18:50	1:18:54
And she is gonna go back to Canada.	1:18:54	1:18:56
Er,... take the deal.	1:19:02	1:19:04
-I don't think so. -Don't be stupid, Andrew!	1:19:04	1:19:08
You want a statement? I've been working for Margaret Tate	1:19:08	1:19:11
for three years. We fell in love. I asked her to marry me.	1:19:11	1:19:15
She said yes. I'll see you at the wedding.	1:19:15	1:19:18
Ah, hell...	1:19:28	1:19:30
So,...	1:19:50	1:19:52
..you sure about this?	1:19:54	1:19:56
Not really.	1:19:56	1:19:58
I mean, I am very appreciative of what you've done,	1:20:01	1:20:05
-but I think that... -You'd do the same for me, right?	1:20:05	1:20:08
-(KNOCK AT DOOR) -Hope everyone is decent!	1:20:08	1:20:12
You need to come with me. Tomorrow's your wedding day.	1:20:12	1:20:15
Give the baby-maker a rest tonight. It's tradition.	1:20:15	1:20:19
-We're not gonna use... -Kiss your bride good night.	1:20:19	1:20:22
You got your whole lives to be together. Come on!	1:20:22	1:20:25
Come on!	1:20:25	1:20:27
-If I don't go with her, she's gonna... -Come right back.	1:20:32	1:20:35
Yeah.	1:20:35	1:20:38
-See you in the morning? -Yep.	1:20:44	1:20:47
"(TV CHATTER)"	1:21:01	1:21:03
(SWITCHES OFF)	1:21:13	1:21:15
(BABBLE OF VOICES)	1:21:44	1:21:46
Hey, Gammy.	1:21:48	1:21:50
Thanks, Gammy.	1:21:51	1:21:53
(LOW MURMUR OF CONVERSATION)	1:21:53	1:21:56
# "Canon In D Major" - Pachelbel	1:21:59	1:22:01
Everyone, please be seated.	1:23:00	1:23:03
-Ramone. -(Mi amor!)	1:23:07	1:23:10
We are gathered here today	1:23:12	1:23:15
to give thanks	1:23:15	1:23:17
and to celebrate...	1:23:17	1:23:19
one of life's greatest moments,	1:23:19	1:23:23
to give recognition to the beauty, honestly and unselfish ways	1:23:23	1:23:28
of Andrew and Margaret's true love	1:23:28	1:23:31
in front of family and friends.	1:23:31	1:23:34
For it is their family and friends who taught Andrew and Margaret	1:23:34	1:23:39
to love, so it is only right	1:23:39	1:23:42
that family and friends are -	1:23:42	1:23:46
-Mi amor, do you have a question? -Er, no.	1:23:49	1:23:53
Your hand is up.	1:23:54	1:23:57
Oh, it's... It's not a question.	1:23:59	1:24:02
-But I do have something I need to say. -(Margaret!)	1:24:02	1:24:05
-Can it wait till after? -Er...	1:24:06	1:24:09
No. No.	1:24:11	1:24:14
(CLEARS THROAT) Hi, there. (ALL, UNCERTAINLY) Hi.	1:24:24	1:24:27
Thank you all so much for coming out.	1:24:27	1:24:29
I have, er, a bit of an announcement to make about the wedding.	1:24:29	1:24:34
-A confession, actually. -What are you doing?	1:24:34	1:24:37
I am a Canadian. Yes, Canadian, with an expired visa,	1:24:37	1:24:42
who was about to be deported.	1:24:42	1:24:45
And because I didn't want to leave this wonderful country of yours,	1:24:45	1:24:48
-I forced Andrew here to marry me. -Margaret, stop it.	1:24:48	1:24:53
Andrew has always had this extraordinary work ethic.	1:24:53	1:24:56
Something I think he learned from you.	1:24:58	1:25:00
For three years, I watched him work harder than anyone else	1:25:00	1:25:04
at our company, and I knew that if I threatened to destroy his career,	1:25:04	1:25:08
he would do just about anything.	1:25:08	1:25:11
So I blackmailed him to come up here and to lie to you.	1:25:14	1:25:18
All of you. And I thought it would be easy to watch him do it.	1:25:20	1:25:26
But it wasn't.	1:25:27	1:25:30
Turns out it's not easy to ruin someone's life,	1:25:31	1:25:34
once you find out how wonderful they are.	1:25:34	1:25:37
(ASTONISHED WHISPERING)	1:25:37	1:25:40
You have a beautiful family.	1:25:43	1:25:45
Don't let this come between you.	1:25:45	1:25:48
This was my fault.	1:25:51	1:25:54
-Margaret... -Andrew, this was a business deal.	1:25:54	1:25:57
And you held up your end, but now the deal is off.	1:25:57	1:26:01
Sorry.	1:26:03	1:26:05
You, meet me at the dock. You're giving me a ride to the airport.	1:26:05	1:26:10
(ALL MURMUR)	1:26:18	1:26:22
-What were you thinking? -I don't know!	1:26:25	1:26:28
Let me get my head on straight, OK? I'll explain everything later.	1:26:28	1:26:31
I'm sorry.	1:26:31	1:26:34
"You were right. This book is special.'	1:27:09	1:27:12
"I lied because publishing meant I'd lose you as an assistant,	1:27:12	1:27:16
"but you have an extraordinary eye, and I'll make sure we buy this	1:27:16	1:27:19
"before I leave. Have an amazing life. You deserve it. Margaret."	1:27:19	1:27:24
Well, that was, er,... crazy.	1:27:26	1:27:29
You know, people are gonna be talking about this forever.	1:27:29	1:27:33
Yeah. Yeah.	1:27:35	1:27:37
-Are you OK? -Yeah.	1:27:37	1:27:41
No. Er...	1:27:41	1:27:44
I just feel... You know what the problem is?	1:27:45	1:27:49
The problem is that this woman is a gigantic pain in my ass.	1:27:49	1:27:55
First of all there's the whole leaving thing. I understand that.	1:27:55	1:27:58
It's a sham wedding. It's kinda stressful.	1:27:58	1:28:01
Then she goes ahead and she leaves this note,	1:28:01	1:28:04
because she doesn't have the decency to do it to my face.	1:28:04	1:28:08
Three years! Three years I work with this,... this terrorist,	1:28:08	1:28:12
never once has she had a nice thing to say.	1:28:12	1:28:14
-Then she writes this crap! -Andrew...	1:28:14	1:28:17
-And none of that matters, cos we had a deal! -Andrew!	1:28:17	1:28:20
I'm sorry. I just, er... She just makes me a little crazy.	1:28:20	1:28:24
Yeah. I can see that.	1:28:24	1:28:27
So... you're just gonna let her go?	1:28:27	1:28:30
So, what now?	1:28:44	1:28:46
Well, now that you're leaving voluntarily,	1:28:46	1:28:49
it all becomes very civilised.	1:28:49	1:28:51
Once we land in New York, you have 24 hours to head back to Canada.	1:28:51	1:28:56
-Andrew, what's happening now? -I got to talk to her. -Why?	1:29:04	1:29:07
-Stop it! -I'm not gonna let you do this. -Stop!	1:29:07	1:29:10
-I'm not asking your permission. -Agh!	1:29:10	1:29:13
Annie! Joe! Joe!	1:29:13	1:29:16
Gammy?! Joe!	1:29:16	1:29:19
I'm having a... heart attack.	1:29:19	1:29:22
-Somebody get a doctor! -Easy! Easy, Mom!	1:29:22	1:29:25
Andrew!	1:29:57	1:29:59
You two need to stop fighting!	1:30:01	1:30:04
You'll never see eye to eye,	1:30:04	1:30:07
but...	1:30:07	1:30:09
you're family!	1:30:09	1:30:12
Promise me...	1:30:14	1:30:16
you'll stand by Andrew...	1:30:16	1:30:19
even if you don't agree with him.	1:30:19	1:30:22
I promise!	1:30:24	1:30:27
Andrew,...	1:30:27	1:30:29
..promise me you'll work harder to be a part of this family.	1:30:30	1:30:35
I will.	1:30:36	1:30:38
I will, Gammy.	1:30:40	1:30:43
Well, then,...	1:30:43	1:30:45
the spirits can take me.	1:30:45	1:30:48
Gammy...	1:30:48	1:30:51
Gammy?	1:30:56	1:30:59
I guess they're not ready for me. I'm feeling much better, sonny.	1:31:04	1:31:09
No need to take us to the hospital. Take us to the airport, please.	1:31:09	1:31:13
Mom, are you faking a heart attack?!	1:31:13	1:31:15
It was the only way I could make you shut up and get us to the airport.	1:31:15	1:31:20
-Ma'am, I'm not authorised to - -Larry Ferris,	1:31:20	1:31:23
-don't make me call your mother. -You got it.	1:31:23	1:31:26
Scared the hell out of me!	1:31:28	1:31:30
Yeah. You should have given up back in New York.	1:31:34	1:31:39
See,... I'm like Eliot Ness.	1:31:39	1:31:42
I always get my man.	1:31:42	1:31:44
I'm that good.	1:31:44	1:31:47
1601, as soon as you're in position, you're cleared for take-off.	1:31:48	1:31:52
"Roger that, Chuck."	1:31:52	1:31:55
OK. Come on, come on.	1:32:01	1:32:03
-(MOBILE RINGS) -(LAUGHS) Tower! Talk to me!	1:32:05	1:32:09
-Chuck! It's Drew Paxton. -"Hey, dude!"	1:32:09	1:32:12
I have a little favour I need from you, buddy.	1:32:12	1:32:15
-Margaret's on that plane. Can you stop it? -"Oh, yeah!"	1:32:15	1:32:18
-I heard about her bailing. Drag-ola! -"CHUCK!"	1:32:18	1:32:22
I need you to stop the plane. Please!	1:32:22	1:32:24
"I can't do that. (LAUGHS)"	1:32:24	1:32:27
No, no, no. No, no, no, no! Come on!	1:32:27	1:32:30
Oh, no!	1:32:30	1:32:32
No!	1:32:34	1:32:36
-What's wrong? -Margaret's on board. -And he didn't get to tell her!	1:32:38	1:32:41
-Tell her what? -That he loves her.	1:32:41	1:32:43
So she could tell him she loves him.	1:32:43	1:32:46
-But how... -If she didn't love him, she wouldn't have left.	1:32:46	1:32:49
-Am I the only one not getting this? -Oh, Joe!	1:32:49	1:32:52
Chuck! Chuck! Look down!	1:32:52	1:32:55
Oh! Look down, like...	1:32:55	1:32:58
"Oh, there you are! Sorry, man. There was nothing I could do."	1:32:58	1:33:01
Thanks, Chuck.	1:33:03	1:33:05
I'm sorry, son. I... I didn't know how you felt about her.	1:33:07	1:33:12
Honey, it's gonna be OK.	1:33:16	1:33:18
Jordan?	1:33:49	1:33:51
-Jordan... -(BOTH CHATTER) -Jordan!	1:34:09	1:34:12
I need for you to send the boxes in my office	1:34:12	1:34:16
to this address, please. This one right here.	1:34:16	1:34:19
This address right here, OK? Can you do that?	1:34:19	1:34:22
-Er, yes. Sure. -Fine. All right. Thank you.	1:34:22	1:34:26
-Miss Tate? -Yes? What? What?	1:34:26	1:34:28
(PANTS) Hey.	1:34:30	1:34:33
Andrew!	1:34:34	1:34:37
Why... Why are you... panting?	1:34:41	1:34:44
Because I've been running.	1:34:44	1:34:46
-Really? From Alaska? -I need to talk to you.	1:34:46	1:34:49
I don't have time to talk. I need to catch a 5:45 to Toronto.	1:34:49	1:34:53
-Margaret... -I need the boxes to go today. I -	1:34:53	1:34:56
Margaret! Stop talking!	1:34:56	1:34:58
-(ALL GASP) -I got to say something.	1:35:00	1:35:03
-OK. -It'll just take a sec.	1:35:03	1:35:05
-Fine. What? -Three days ago,...	1:35:05	1:35:09
..I loathed you. I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab.	1:35:10	1:35:15
-Or poisoned. -Oh, that's nice. -I told you to stop talking.	1:35:15	1:35:18
Then we had our little adventure up in Alaska, and things changed.	1:35:19	1:35:23
Things changed when we kissed.	1:35:23	1:35:26
And when you told me about your tattoo.	1:35:28	1:35:31
-(ASTONISHED WHISPERING) -Even when you checked me out	1:35:31	1:35:34
-when we were naked. -(ALL GASP) -Naked!	1:35:34	1:35:38
-Well, I didn't see anything. -Yeah, you did.	1:35:38	1:35:41
But I didn't realise any of this until I was standing alone	1:35:41	1:35:44
in a barn,... wifeless.	1:35:44	1:35:48
Now, you can imagine my disappointment	1:35:48	1:35:51
when it suddenly dawned on me that the woman I love	1:35:51	1:35:54
-is about to be kicked out of the country. -(ALL GASP)	1:35:54	1:35:58
So, Margaret,...	1:35:58	1:36:00
..marry me.	1:36:03	1:36:05
Because I would like to date you.	1:36:07	1:36:09
Trust me. You don't really wanna be with me.	1:36:21	1:36:25
Yes, I do.	1:36:25	1:36:27
See, the thing is,...	1:36:27	1:36:29
there is a reason I've been alone all this time.	1:36:29	1:36:32
I'm comfortable that way, and it would just be a lot easier	1:36:33	1:36:37
if we forgot everything that happened,	1:36:37	1:36:40
and I just left.	1:36:40	1:36:43
You're right.	1:36:45	1:36:47
That would be easier.	1:36:52	1:36:54
-I'm scared. -Me, too.	1:37:09	1:37:13
(ALL GASP AND LAUGH)	1:37:16	1:37:19
(Aren't you supposed to get down on your knee or something?)	1:37:35	1:37:39
-I'm gonna take that as a "yes". -Oh, OK.	1:37:39	1:37:42
(ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH)	1:37:52	1:37:55
-(MAN) -Yeah! Show her who's boss, Andrew!	1:37:55	1:37:59
(ALL LAUGH)	1:37:59	1:38:01
(ALL APPLAUD)	1:38:01	1:38:04
'So, let me see if I've got this right.'	1:38:06	1:38:10
-You two are engaged again? -Yes. -Yes.	1:38:10	1:38:13
For... real?	1:38:13	1:38:16
-Yes. -Yeah. -You sure you wanna do this?	1:38:16	1:38:19
Because one wrong answer, I'm gonna take... you... down.	1:38:19	1:38:23
-OK. -OK.	1:38:25	1:38:28
Let's do it!	1:38:29	1:38:31
# "It Takes Two" - Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock	1:38:32	1:38:35
-When did you first start to date? -Last week.	1:38:39	1:38:43
-Is that going well? -So far it's great. Thank you.	1:38:43	1:38:46
-What deodorant does Andrew use? -Men's Speed Stick. -What flavour?	1:38:46	1:38:50
Musk? Alpine?	1:38:50	1:38:53
-Was it love at first sight? -No.	1:38:53	1:38:56
I loved her from the beginning.	1:38:56	1:38:59
-What side of the bed does Margaret sleep on? -The left.	1:39:00	1:39:03
What side do you sleep on?	1:39:03	1:39:05
Look... Are they soul-mates? (SQUEAKS INCONCLUSIVELY)	1:39:06	1:39:10
Will they kill each other? No.	1:39:10	1:39:13
-Are you a good driver? -Oh, excellent driver. Excellent.	1:39:13	1:39:16
(MAKES METALLIC CRUNCHING SOUNDS / IMITATES SIREN)	1:39:16	1:39:20
In my mind I see her perhaps with someone more swarthy, darker.	1:39:22	1:39:27
We don't use the word "Margaret" around Kevin.	1:39:27	1:39:30
He still hasn't warmed up to her.	1:39:30	1:39:33
-"Margaret"! -(BARKS)	1:39:33	1:39:35
-"Margaret"! -(BARKS) -See? It's the damnedest thing!	1:39:35	1:39:39
I have never farted in front of him, nor will I ever.	1:39:39	1:39:43
She farts in her sleep.	1:39:43	1:39:46
-Is Margaret a good dancer? -You can tell by the way	1:39:46	1:39:49
she drinks her soda pop that she's a good dancer.	1:39:49	1:39:52
Uh-huh?	1:39:52	1:39:54
How is the soda pop relevant to the dancing?	1:39:54	1:39:57
I don't understand this...	1:39:57	1:40:00
-I call him, er, puppy... -Pumpkin?	1:40:00	1:40:03
-Monkey. -Daisy. -Kiddo.	1:40:03	1:40:05
-Er, bird. -Sometimes I call him Rick.	1:40:05	1:40:08
-How do you spell Ramone? -(SPELLS WITH STRONG ACCENT)	1:40:10	1:40:13
Could you do that again in English, please?	1:40:13	1:40:16
-When you say the position... -Top or bottom?	1:40:16	1:40:20
You're asking me a question about who's on top?!	1:40:20	1:40:23
-You took an oath when you came in. -When did I take an oath?	1:40:23	1:40:27
-Well, Laura should've done that... -Who's Laura?	1:40:27	1:40:30
The girl behind you. Don't look around.	1:40:30	1:40:32
-Which of the following numbers is not a prime? -17!	1:40:32	1:40:36
I'm sorry. Let me say the list, please.	1:40:36	1:40:38
-I'm sorry? -He knew your favourite colour. -Blue?	1:40:38	1:40:41
-Wrong! -Red? -No!	1:40:41	1:40:43
-Dark... Maybe like a hunter green? -No. White. -White?!	1:40:43	1:40:48
-Blue. -What's your favourite colour when she is not at home?	1:40:48	1:40:52
I don't know.	1:40:52	1:40:54
-Are you a citizen of this country? -Yes, I'm a citizen! (LAUGHS)	1:40:54	1:40:58
Are you crazy?! (LAUGHS)	1:40:58	1:41:02
What relevance a ball in a net, or a fruit roll-up,	1:41:02	1:41:05
or a pop tart, has to do with my relationship...	1:41:05	1:41:09
If you're getting excited... Who are you engaged to?	1:41:09	1:41:12
Andrew.	1:41:13	1:41:14
Good! Got one right!	1:41:14	1:41:17
-Who are you engaged to? -I'm engaged to Margaret Tate.	1:41:18	1:41:20
At the wedding day, who will be next to you?	1:41:20	1:41:26
I'm going to marry Margaret Tate.	1:41:26	1:41:28
-Final answer? -That work? Final answer.	1:41:28	1:41:30
What, is this a game show? I don't understand what...	1:41:30	1:41:34
# God bless America	1:41:34	1:41:37
# Lands that I love...	1:41:37	1:41:40
-That's a great song. -That was beautiful.	1:41:40	1:41:43
-Really beautiful. -Mama Cass.	1:41:43	1:41:45
# It takes two to make a thing go right	1:41:47	1:41:50
# It takes two to make it out of sight	1:41:51	1:41:54
# It takes two to make a thing go right	1:41:55	1:41:58
# It takes two to make it out of sight	1:41:59	1:42:02
# All right now, EZ Rock now	1:42:02	1:42:05
# When I count to three, I want you to get busy	1:42:05	1:42:07
# You ready now?	1:42:07	1:42:08
-# One, two, three, get loose, now -# It takes two to make a	1:42:08	1:42:11
# It take two to make a	1:42:11	1:42:13
# It take two to make a, it takes two to make a	1:42:13	1:42:16
# It takes two to make a	1:42:16	1:42:19
# It takes two to make a	1:42:19	1:42:21
# It takes two to make a thing go right	1:42:24	1:42:26
# It takes two to make it out of sight	1:42:28	1:42:30
# It takes two to make a thing go right... #	1:42:32	1:42:34

The Proposal

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