Skeletons

This film contains some strong language.

MUSIC: "Polegnala e Pschenitza" by Le Mystere des Voix Bulgares

Yeah, but you can't lump Rasputin in with the corrupt

and assassinated without taking his honesty into account.

I mean, with Rasputin, there's no ambiguity, is there?

He was morally transparent, unlike some of your other boys.

You know, like your Kennedys, for instance, Jack and Bobby, yeah?

I mean, they had these golden boy public images but actually,

Bay of Pigs, dodgy CIA operations,

shagging Marilyn Monroe whilst espousing Catholic family values.

I mean, there's a moral ambiguity there you just don't get with Rasputin.

With him, what you see is what you get.

If he wanted to get pissed and throw chicken drumsticks at the Romanovs, he done it.

If he wanted to scrape up a nun, he done it,

and made no apology for it, that's what I'm saying.

-What, as opposed to, say, John Lennon?

-Exactly.

Now, he was someone who was completely

different in personal life than he was in public life.

Like Gandhi, like Martin Luther King, all they lot.

Why's that make Rasputin better?

Well, honesty, innit?

Glasnost.

What about Gordon of Khartoum? He got a spear in the neck.

-Yeah, and he was a pederast.

-Who told you that?

Faulkner, him and Gabriel done the procedure

on that Chelsea Pensioner years ago, didn't they?

Yeah, well, I wouldn't believe everything Faulkner tells you.

-Have you seen his car?

-Yes. So what?

-He might just be from a rich family, like Jim Morrison.

-I'm saying nowt.

He is.

Right, come on, then. Eye of the tiger.

HE KNOCKS DOOR

And why have you decided to go through with this procedure today?

I think we just feel it's the right time, really.

What, Friday, 11 o'clock, mid-March? What do you mean, "the right time"?

Er...

We're just about to get married.

I see.

Getting married...

On behalf of Veridical, we'd like to offer you

our own sincerest congratulations on your forthcoming nuptials.

Thank you.

-Can I ask how you came to that decision?

-No, you can't!

It's none of your business while they're getting married.

Not getting married, I mean the decision to undergo the procedure.

-Well, he just said that - because they're getting married.

-Yeah, I realise that...

Well, let's get on with it, then.

Because we do like to stress, you see, what an important step this is.

-Yeah, thank you, mate, that's great.

-One that you need to be both be fully...

All right, I tell you what, why don't you go upstairs, yeah,

ID the target, take some readings,

and I'll stay down here with these and wrap up the paperwork?

Is that all right, mate? Thank you.

Fine.

-Right. Is English your first language?

-Yes.

MACHINE BEEPS

'Sir, have you ever assisted

'in any type of amputation or surgical procedure?'

BEEPS RISE IN PITCH

'And have you ever seen a bear?

-'No.

-Are you sure about that?

'I don't mean in captivity, I mean in the wild.'

BEEPS CONTINUE TO RISE IN PITCH

SUSTAINED HIGH PITCHED BEEP

And if you could just pop the date down there as well, please.

Now, can you confirm for me verbally that that is your fiance's signature?

-Yes, it is.

-Yeah, but can you actually say it?

Like, confirm it verbally for me that that is your fiance's signature?

Erm... Yes, that is my fiance's signature.

OK, and can you know verbally confirm for me

that I haven't tampered with the signature in any way?

No, you've not.

Yeah, but can you say it, can you verbally confirm it?

-No, you haven't tampered with the signature.

-Whose signature?

-SHE LAUGHS

-My fiance's signature.

That's it, but say the whole thing.

Check it for us, will you?

MACHINE BEEPS

-Routine.

-Right. Let's do it.

-If we must.

-What's up with you?

Nowt, just tired.

Yeah, well, it's a respite week after today, innit?

I don't mean like that.

Don't make this any more difficult than it already is, mate.

Simple, this job.

Stick to the rules, tell them everything, leave,

and never come back.

Yeah. I know.

These people don't know how lucky they are.

-Ready?

-Ready.

-Did you see the look on her face?

-No.

-She were devastated?

-What about?

Poncey coffee and egg sandwiches? Hardly last days of Pompeii, is it?

-Her should try doing this job.

-Yeah, but...

Oh, I don't know!

Yeah, but Rasputin clearly had a fierce life force.

I mean, that's how come it took them so long to kill him.

They poisoned him, they beat him with sticks,

they shot him three times and he still didn't go.

In the end, they had to shove him under the ice

and that took nine hours. I mean, that's not an ordinary bloke, is it?

Yeah, but he were expecting an attempt on his life.

He'd been taking low doses of strychnine to immunise himself.

So what? They shot him!

You can't immunise yourself against being shot, can you?

You can't immunise yourself against being beaten with sticks.

He might just have been rock hard. It don't make him magic.

Yeah, but I think the ability to control haemophilia

using only the power of his mind,

which suggests there is a bit going on than just being hard.

I mean, Douglas Bader was hard,

but he couldn't clot blood at will, could he?

We've done ThetaHealing, we've done inner child work,

-We've done flower essence therapy.

-Yup.

Rebirthing, and advanced rebirthing - that was amazing.

Past life regression - now that was amazing.

I was a seamstress in Elizabethan London. I knew Shakespeare.

MACHINE BEEPS

CONTINUOUS HIGH PITCHED BEEP

And if you could tick the box, please, Sir. Thank you.

And could you just underline it there as well, please.

And a full stop, please. Thank you.

And if you could just initial the full stop, just to show I haven't tampered with it in any way.

I hope it's benign.

You do realise they don't think we can really do this, don't you?

Yeah, well, we'll see, eh?

What is the ThetaHealing anyway?

Don't know. Quick way of separating hippies and their cash, I suppose.

God almighty!

Yeah. That'd be another way.

TANGO MUSIC PLAYS

-Right, go in for a POV on the woman, and I'll follow.

-Copy that.

Right, you take her, I'll do him. Go, go!

-Why do I always have to be the maid?

-Just do it!

You looking for business, darling?

Yeah, get in, love.

Just up here, on the left.

-What's it to be, then, sweetheart?

-Um...

Well...

HE SIGHS

Oh, God!

What?

For some 14 months, Madam,

you've been attending Latin dance classes at the town hall -

mostly salsa, some tango, and the occasional cha-cha-cha.

Your dance teacher is one Raoul Gimores, real name Graham Richardson.

You're very fond of him, but you have no relationship outside the class.

However, you've chosen to keep this activity a secret from your partner

and friends as the gender politics of Latin dance are inconsistent

with your chosen lifestyle.

That's incredible! How...

And you, Sir.

Three times in the last year you've driven to the dock area

of a nearby coastal town, where you've picked up prostitutes -

-a different one each time.

-No.

You paid each woman her normal rates,

though no actual physical contact occurred.

Instead, you talked to them -

mostly reminiscences about your youth, fear of growing old,

ill health - standard existential concerns for a man of your age -

as well as your regret about

-the decision you and your wife made to remain childless.

-Yeah...

Ooh, sorry! Correction -

the last of these encounters did in fact end with the

woman in question administering hand relief in the front seat of your car.

Look, you...

-You're like Reg the fisherman, you is.

-Who's Reg the fisherman?

Reg the fisherman was from Mevagissey.

My Uncle Jimmy used to work with him on the trawlers.

He got seasick, he was a vegetarian and the smell of fish made him spook.

In other words, he was totally unsuitable to be a fisherman.

-Why am I like him?

-Think about it.

I just don't like leaving people like that.

There should be summat we can offer...after.

Is you Mother Teresa? It's not our job to "offer" anything.

-We "offer" the information that's in there.

-We should take responsibility.

It's not our job, mate.

All right. Usual time in a week?

-Fine.

-Mate...

-What you doing?

-Sorry.

I were just...

No monkey business.

What? You want to worry about your own self, mate,

work on a bit of professional objectivity for starters.

Go down the pub or something. See people. Make sure you eat!

Yes, mother!

RADIO TUNES IN

FUZZY VOICES ON RADIO

FLY BUZZES

STONES RATTLE

CONTENTS OF BOAT RATTLE

RADIO TUNES IN

HEARTBEAT

Drop of the good stuff?

There you go.

Now, where were we? Oh, yes.

Once upon a time,

one stormy night,

a little boy found himself wandering on a barren moor.

He didn't know how he'd arrived there,

only that he desperately needed to get himself into the warm and dry.

And very soon too, he needed to find his house.

He was very cold and scared, out on the dark night.

But, being a brave boy, he walked on.

Eventually, just when he was thinking he was so tired

that he couldn't go any further,

the lost boy saw a light in front of him,

and he finally found it.

Could this be home?

When he got closer, he saw it wasn't his house, it was a tiny cottage.

HE GASPS

Hello? Hello?

You up, mate?

You in there?

Davis!

Hello? You all right?

Davis!

-What are you doing here?

-What are you on about?

-We said a week.

-It's been a week.

Right, you just hang on there a minute. Give us a second.

Just got to get these things together.

You know what it's like.

Lose track of time, don't you? God... Right, let's go.

-Are you going to get changed?

-Yeah.

And we need to do the cleansing.

Yeah.

STONES RATTLE

CONTENTS OF BOAT RATTLE

-TELEVISION:

-'70.'

'90.'

You should turn that up. You'll strain your ears.

'24.'

BIRD CRIES

BIRDSONG

STONES RATTLE

I ain't shouting, you're shouting!

BENNETT!

You can't see your tie in that jumper.

Bennett, you've got Rasputin all wrong.

Sometimes there's this thing, you...

think it's having a laugh, and it is having a laugh.

WHITE NOISE FROM RADIO

I don't fucking believe this.

-You promised me, no more glow chasing.

-Oh, come on, I know what I'm doing with it!

That's what all the glow chasers say. That's what Williams said.

-He ended up going Bulgarian.

-I ain't going to go Bulgarian, am I?

-Don't worry about it.

-I DO worry about it.

You know the facts. We're not tourists.

Glow chasing causes a build-up of psychic detritus

and unchecked, contaminates extractions.

And, that's apart from the fact that it's dangerous.

It could just as easily be me who ends up getting hurt as you.

I ain't going to let that happen.

We've got the Colonel breathing down us necks.

I told you to go out and see people. It's not healthy.

Yeah, well pardon me for wanting a bit of time on me own

after four more weeks of other people's spunk and betrayal!

-Oh, come off it!

-Anyway, you want to worry about your own self.

-Can't believe your Uncle Malkie beat you at snooker. He's only got one arm.

-He had a new cue.

He's quite handy with that little block, isn't he? He's like Zorro.

-Shut up, that's not the issue.

-You shouldn't be missing a black like that at this level, mate.

Hey, hang on a second. I'll just pop up here. I'll be back in a second, yeah?

All right, mush?

Swap you.

HE EXHALES HEAVILY

-All right, Colonel?

-All right, young fella?

Yeah.

Let's have a look at you, then.

-Your glands are up.

-Are they?

-Yeah.

-Cough.

-HE COUGHS

Again.

HE COUGHS

-Everything all right with you two?

-Yeah.

Yes, boss.

I won't go into details,

but Faulkner and Gabriel are no longer operational,

which means I'm looking for a new A-team.

It's crunch time, boys.

I need to know you can think outside the box,

that you can use the procedure to its full potential.

That's how come the change of job.

Could be tricky - data required on an absent subject.

Going to need some lateral thinking.

But you get this, right?

Could be your ticket out of the domestic,

into the global stuff - politicians, aristos.

Got the Saxe-Coburgs lined up early next year. Imagine the filth!

Made them look like the Partridge Family, eh?

HE LAUGHS

Don't let me down. It's your chance to shine.

-Mr Bennett, give us a minute.

-All right, boss.

-Are you on a glow mission, boy?

-No, boss.

-You sure?

-Definitely.

No "you show me yours, I'll show you mine" behind the bike sheds?

No holiday snaps?

No bedtime stories?

Nothing like that, boss. Honest.

Stick out your tongue.

Out.

I want to believe you, I really do.

You're like a son to me, you beautiful little monkey man.

You remember what happened to Culkin?

'Course, boss, yeah.

I hated doing that but I'll do it if I have to, you know that.

I know.

OK. You up for this promotion?

Yeah, 'course I am, boss. Definitely.

-You've got to prove me right.

-Thanks, boss. I won't let you down.

RAILWAY WHISTLE SOUNDS

Look at all this - disappearance of Marcus Baron.

"Eight years ago, my husband disappeared without trace."

-That's a bit much, isn't it?

-Let's have a look at him.

It's a classic "I'm going out for a pint of milk job" this, isn't it?

He's probably in Torquay with Lord Lucan.

How are we supposed to find him?

What were the Colonel on about?

Snooker. He wanted a few tips on his cue action.

I were this close to telling him, mate. I've had enough.

-Oh, hello.

-Hello.

You're from Veridical?

Yeah, that's right. I'm Bennett, this is my colleague, Mr Davis.

You're very tall.

Yeah.

-So, you read the file?

-Of course.

He disappeared eight years ago. Pretty fed up of it now.

Quite like to find him, etc.

-OK?

-OK.

So, let's see who digs him up first. Yup.

Well, off you trot. House is down there. Come on, chop chop!

Go on now!

-Dig him up?

-Shh!

-What?!

Don't look right.

Yeah, this is it.

-You all right, mate?

-Come on.

MACHINE BEEPS

-This ain't working.

-It could be atmospherics.

You have to do it through triangulation.

It's quite a place this, though, innit?

-That was quick.

-I need you to sign the forms before we can go in.

Fine.

And there was another, sort of, younger maid, walking about earlier?

My daughter, Rebecca.

-Yeah, her too, if she's over 18.

-Fine.

-Do you really think you're going to find him like that?

-I don't know.

-But I cannot not look, can I? He was my husband.

-Was?

Look, missus, we can only work with the people here and now, yeah?

So if he's dead, or otherwise...not about, we're not going to be able to

get anything specific to him and no one else, do you see what I mean?

Er...whatever. Just give me a clue. Something.

So, Madam, if you sign there? Thank you. And the date there, please?

And initial in the box? Thank you.

That's brilliant. Thank you. And you as well, Miss?

If you could do the same, please?

Just print your name there, sign and date there, and initial in the box.

It's just a formality, Miss.

That's lovely, thank you.

Teenagers!

DOOR SLAMS

-How old is she?

-21.

-All right?

-You sorted up there?

No, the triangulation's failed.

-I'm going to have to go through the polygons.

-What? You're joking!

I've never had to do it before. Well, not in the field.

It's seven or eight hours' work, we're not going to get done today.

-No, no way.

-According to the sheet, there's a pub in the village does B&B.

-Right, I'll come upstairs and have a look.

-I've done it right!

I'm not saying you haven't, I just want to go upstairs and cast an eye if that's all right, your holiness?

-Sorry about this.

-What have you done?

-Nothing.

-So why did you say you're sorry?

-Er...

Oh, you were being kind.

Well...

Ah, that's nice.

The...photos and the map at the top of the stairs,

what's that?

I keep a record of where I've been.

I don't want to be digging in the same place twice, do I?

That'd be crazy, wouldn't it?

Digging, digging.

Right.

This is a beautiful house.

You think so?

Yeah, it's really something.

MACHINE BEEPS

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

Well, we'll keep at it.

Yeah. So, do you need anything?

No, I'm fine.

You are very tall, aren't you?

-Yeah, I am.

-Yeah, right...

You know, I was thinking about the B&B...

MACHINE BEEPS

-Oh, you found it. Any preference?

-What?

Have you had a bang on the head or something?

There is no way I'm stopping here and eating coq au vin with Gloria Swanson and the Brady Bunch.

-We're going to stay in the pub.

-No we won't, we're stopping here.

-Why?

I'm getting nowhere fast with this lot.

I know, that's exactly why we should get out, have a few beers,

win a bit of money on the pool table, come back first in the morning.

No, it's a waste of time. We stay here and get at it straight away, first thing.

-You're going native again.

-No I'm not!

-Yes, you are! You're being unprofessional!

-YOU'RE being unprofessional!

-YOU'RE being unprofessional!

-YOU'RE being unprofessional!

-YOU'RE being unprofessional!

-Shut up!

Look, I'm in the chair on this one. I've made me decision.

We stop here, we get up early, we get it done, we get the hell out.

Well, there's no way I'm sitting having dinner with them!

DOOR SLAMS

Looks nice.

-What's your name, little fella?

-Jojo.

-Pleased to meet you, Jojo.

Thank you.

-How long are you staying for?

-Well...

-Just tonight.

-You can stay a bit longer if you like.

-What?

No, mate, we don't muck about.

Get the low-down, done and dusted first thing.

-Do you like football?

-I do, yeah.

-One day, I'm going to play for a team.

-Oh, right?

The strip is going to be the Celtic top, maybe, with green shorts

and the same pattern on the socks.

-Sounds like you've got it all planned out.

-Yeah.

What about your away kit?

I haven't thought about that yet,

but I think I've got the goalkeeping kit in.

It's blue top with black sleeves and a black bit going across the top.

Oh, right, OK.

What position do you play?

-Goalkeeper and defence.

-Goalkeeper and defence?

-I used to be a goalkeeper when I were at school.

-Were you any good?

Not really. Are you any good?

Yeah.

-Who do you support?

-Oldham Athletic.

-God's sake!

Who do you support?

Manchester United, Sheffield United and Wisbech Town.

Blimey, you've all the angles covered there!

-This is lovely.

-Right, I ain't hungry.

Sorry, I'm tired, I'm going to bed. Ta for...that.

-Sorry about that, he's...

-No, it's all right. Eat.

Is he your best friend?

Yeah.

Are you married? I mean, not to him, of course.

No, I'm not married.

Living with someone?

My mother.

I live with my mother too.

Yeah, I know you do.

VOICES ECHO FROM DOWNSTAIRS

STONES RATTLE

VOICES ECHO

..eventually, just as he was thinking he was so tired

that he couldn't move any further,

the lost boy saw a light in front of him.

Had he finally found it? Could this be home?

But when he got closer, he saw it wasn't his house,

it was a tiny cottage -

old, strange and spooky.

So, he gathered up all of his courage,

walked up to the rotten old door and knocked.

Oh, I don't believe this!

-Give me them here!

-What you doing? Get off!

-Give them to me!

-You're not having them!

-Yes I am!

-No, get off!

-Give them to me!

-Get off!

Right, that's it.

What are you talking about? I was asleep.

What?

I weren't glow chasing, Bennett.

You got it wrong, mate, its research.

Dead man's POV. Just the thing for this job, innit?

Bennett? Mate?

Good night.

You, stay here.

I'm going to see if I can crack this one on my own.

What? You can't do that. How are you going to audit?

-I'll get to where I can on me own. It's safer this way.

-No, it isn't.

I won't tell the Colonel as long as you don't interfere.

As soon as you do, I will.

I want this promotion

and I don't want you contaminating the place and buggering it up.

You need to take some time out,

think about whether you've still got the discipline for this.

Do you hear me?

Think about it!

The village with the train station, there's no church.

That means the town's got to be the nearest... Oh, SHIT!

-How did you miss this?

-Me?!

All right, I'm making the call.

No, listen, we can sort this.

Mate, don't tell him about the old, you know, research.

Hello, it's Bennett. Get me the Colonel.

Well, get him out of the flotation tank!

Hello, boss?

Yeah, the house is built on a corpse road. It looks like a cold channel.

Pretty sure.

Right. Will do, boss.

He's on his way.

-This is delicious.

-Good.

I told them to bring an epic breakfast. Would you call it epic?

Mmm! Pretty epic.

-How often do you make it to the village yourself?

-Me?

-I never go to the village.

-Why not?

What if he came back and I wasn't here?

-Bennett, I've had a thought.

-Not now.

-Do you want a kipper?

-They're really tasty, aren't they, Frank?

-Frank?!

Fuck me, you're the one who's going native

-and you're hanging me out to dry?

-That's enough!

I'll talk to you later.

-Really sorry about that.

-No, it's OK.

He's another loser.

He lost something, didn't he?

Takes one to know one, you see.

Good morning.

Sorry we're cluttering the place up a bit.

We're going to do our best to find out what happened to your dad,

if we can.

-Do you know why they called Tottenham Spurs?

-No, why?

To shorten it on the scoreboard.

-HE LAUGHS

-Yeah. Here you are.

Grr!

Thanks.

Wait here, mate. Mrs Baron?

Jane.

You don't have to do this if you don't want. It's all in hand.

Maybe you could take a day off, we'll see what we find

when the Colonel gets here.

STONES RATTLE

So, Lord Lucan lives on a corpse road, yeah?

-He knows the score, he knows I'll get us in.

-Yeah?

So he thinks, "I'll just sit on a cold channel

"and they can fish for it."

But he didn't bank on old Gabriel, did he?

'So what did you do then?'

Oh, yeah!

He's quite good, isn't he?

-Is he?

-Yeah, he's not bad.

How can you tell?

-Gabriel!

-Oh, God.

-Gabriel!

-Excuse me.

-No, it's OK, it's all right.

-Gabriel, Lord Lucan!

-What about them?

They had a corpse road on that job - a bypass, we can do it.

-No, I don't want you involved.

-Oh, come on, Frank,

none of us are perfectly professional all the time, are we?

Don't come all that with me. Having a bit of a natter and glow chasing are not the same thing,

-far from it.

-All right, all right. Look, I'm done with that.

Here you go. You can have them.

I'm not interested. I just want to do the job, please.

Have this and all, it's the trigger. The whole lot's printed on it.

I don't want it no more.

Look, mate, the corpse road's coming from over there, yeah?

All we need to do is nudge up 45 degrees or so,

-just round the other side of the house, yeah?

-Right.

It's a trench and mirror job. Get missus on the case, her's mad with digging, isn't her?

Stick a few flags in so they don't compromise the channel, do you see what I mean?

-It's a bit out there.

-So what?

-Don't flake out on me now. It'll work.

-It could.

It's your call, pilot. What do you reckon?

-How does the line look?

-I don't know. Fine, I think.

-Yeah?

-What are we doing?

-We're building a bypass.

-How do we do that?

I don't know. You'd have to ask him, I'm not a natural.

All right, then, love, I need you to dig all trench along this line,

so deep, yeah? Just enough so you know it's there.

Get in the house, get the windows open, all the ones that will.

Turn all the taps on, flush the place out. Let's go! Let's go!

Nice one little, um...Denzel.

What are you doing?

-What's going on?

-Don't worry, missus, we're professionals.

See, the traffic comes over the hill, yeah?

-Now, the house is the obvious way to proceed.

-The traffic?

-Yeah, that's right.

So, what happens now is the mirror's going to bounce it round that way and it'll come out the back.

-See what I mean?

-Traffic?

-Yes.

-What do you reckon?

-Looks the part.

-There's only one way to find out, I suppose.

-What traffic?

Can't believe this. It's routine, textbook.

There's your target, clean, easy, like we never had a problem.

-You are bloody good at this, mate.

-Let's do it, then.

The Colonel's coming.

-Exactly, that's why we should waste as little of his time as possible.

-He said to sit tight.

I know, but that's before we turned a difficult job into a routine one.

Hey, tell you what, go and get something personal of the husband,

so we can put it in the circuit, strengthen the signal.

Come on, mate, I'm back.

It should be in here somewhere.

Ah! There it is.

I bought it for him.

Didn't really wear it much, though.

-Thought it was too odd.

-That'll be fine.

He thought I was too odd too.

Are you all right?

No. But thank you for asking.

-Right then, mate, ready?

-Yeah.

MACHINE BEEPS

-All right?

-Normal.

Let's go.

There you are, mate.

'Have a look at this!'

Come on!

'Where are you?'

I've lost the map here, mate.

HE SCREAMS

SCREAMS CONTINUE

HE SHOUTS IN BULGARIAN

Stay with me! Stay here, don't go!

-Oh! Oh!

-Calm, calm...

HE CONTINUES TO SHOUT

Calm! Shh!

Shh, shh.

HE GROANS

You'll be all right, mate. Shh.

You'll be OK.

I told you to wait, mush.

-The problem had gone, he'd solved it himself.

-Shh-shh-shh!

You were the pilot. This is down to you.

We're looking after you, so don't worry.

Listen, we don't understand! Just stop it!

Please, quiet!

-Why don't you write it down? Yeah? Write it down.

-There's no point.

Please, let him have a say.

-I don't get this. What is this, Russian?

-Bulgarian.

Occupational hazard, missus.

Even if he could speak English, it'd be a load of old bollocks,

on account of the psychic detritus from the failed extraction.

-He's not even here half the time.

-So where is he?

That's classified.

-So what are you going to do?

-We're going to wait.

He might be free of it within 24 hours. If he's lucky.

What if he's not lucky?

HEADBOARD THUDS

Christ on a bike, mush. This is Thatcher-Mitterrand all over again.

It's a bloody nightmare.

I can't believe he took his goggles off.

What's been going on with him?

Nowt.

Nothing out of the ordinary?

No.

-What the bloody hell was that all about?

-Don't know.

-How long have you been with the agency?

-Seven years, boss.

Seven year? Listen, sunshine, you're one of us now, for better or worse.

There's no going back.

What, you think you're going to go and work in a bank,

have a wife and two and a half kids, eh?

-HE SCOFFS

-I don't see it somehow, do you?

No.

-No, I don't.

-No.

Sharpen up, Mr Bennett, no more mistakes.

Hey, it's all right, mate. Just save your energy.

Get you in rehab, soon as. Get you match fit.

Be in the pink in a week or two, won't you?

Well, might be a bit longer.

All right, then, let me think.

Once upon a time, she says, one stormy night,

a little boy found himself wandering on a barren moor.

He didn't know how he'd arrived there,

only that he desperately needed to get into the warm and dry, and very soon, too.

He needed to find his house.

He was very cold and scared, out on the dark night.

But being a brave boy, he walked on.

THE COLONEL SNORES

Do you hear me? Don't you dare move! I bloody well mean it and all!

I know it's far away from civilisation, so-called,

but that's what's so good about it, isn't it?

What?

So, what do you think?

Bennett?

Bennett?

-MAN'S ECHOING VOICE:

-..On stormy ground,

a little boy found himself wandering over a barren moor...

RACING HEARTBEAT

Didn't know how he'd arrived there, only that he desperately

needed to get himself in the warm and dry, and very soon, too.

He needed to find his house.

What the bloody hell are you doing here? Hello?

The little boy found himself wandering over a barren moor.

He didn't know how he'd arrived there, only that he desperately

needed to get himself into the warm and dry, and very soon, too.

He needed to find his house.

He was very cold and scared, out in the dark night.

-You're a bloody thief!

-..Being a brave boy...

So he gathered up all of his courage,

walked up to the rotten old door and knocked.

He waited. At last,

the door swung open to reveal...

..an old lady, back bent,

face wizened,

eyes clouded,

blind...

"Who's there?" she snapped, squinting into the wind.

The old lady gave him dry clothes,

sat him in front of the fire with a bowl of hot soup...

This is mine!

You get the fuck out!

-What's this?

-So you definitely think a sister would be better?

What's this, then? This is yours.

Listen to me, this is wrong.

We've strayed through the line, this can get really...

You could get lost in here and never find your way out.

I don't mind either way.

As long as the baby is as beautiful as me, we'll be happy, won't we?

It's him!

So that must be...

What?!

This is too dangerous.

We need to find a way out, and I want my rocks back, you thief!

Where ARE you?

Right, I'll come and find you, then.

SOUNDTRACK RUSHES BACKWARDS

Look at this! How did I miss this? It IS you!

Right, you wait here. Do you hear me? Don't you DARE move!

I bloody well mean it, an' all.

Oh, God.

HE SNORES GENTLY

Oh, God.

-Davis?

-Davis!

-Anything?

-No.

Where will she take him?

-She take HIM?

-That's what I said.

She must have nabbed him.

That's ridiculous.

I won't go easy on her, I can tell you that.

-She's a girl, Frank, she's just a girl.

-Just a normal girl, is she?

Oh, and Davis is Mr Reliable, is he?

Look at all this stuff, mush.

This is powerful, this.

-Did you not see this?

-No, boss.

Least of your problems around here.

-Get the gear.

-Are we going to extract here?

How are we going to do that, the girl's not here, you cretin! Keep up!

I'll have to take a few readings,

see quite how far round the U-bend we are.

Right.

-Where are we going?

-Where are you going? Jane!

I've got to find her.

-Where are you going to look?

-I have to do something.

Then look after this one!

We'll do what we can.

Davis is a good man.

If they're together, she'll be fine.

They'll be back.

-How long is it since you've spoken?

-It's been three years.

She was fine, she was a normal girl,

then she went to look at a university and she came back...

-like that.

-You should have told us.

-Find her, Frank.

-I'll try.

(Come back to the house.)

EQUIPMENT BUZZES

INTERMITTENT BUZZING

BUZZING STOPS

INTERMITTENT BUZZING STARTS AGAIN

I'm going to recalibrate.

BABY GRIZZLES

History.

History.

I'd have graduated by now.

I came for an interview.

-ECHOING:

-History.

(Dad?)

What the bloody hell...?

He's not dead!

I know what happened.

-I saw him, I don't know how...

-I don't believe this...

Maybe this is what Davis was going on about, the dead man's POV.

-But he's not dead!

-Davis was going on about the dead man's POV?

I knew it! That little rat must be on the glow, isn't he?

To think...I had you two fucking lined up to be in my A team!

I'm sorry! Boss...

I saw him.

-Look, we can tell her!

-Tell her what?

You drop one hint to her and you're burned, boy.

You remember Culkin.

I got it wrong.

Hello? One - two?

And you haven't spoke since then?

-Only to you.

-That's all well.

No, it's not. I just didn't know how to tell her.

I still don't.

Not a trace, I'm afraid...

So I'll disappear and we'll be out of your hair within the hour.

Sometimes these things happen.

Sometimes we just can't get where we need to be.

Sometimes I'm afraid people do just disappear and you don't get answers.

-And what about Rebecca?

-We'll find her, we've got to - she's with Davis.

-How?

-Isosceles tracking.

-But...

Why can't you just...?

No, it's a different...

It wouldn't work, trust me.

It's complicated.

DOOR OPENS

-You all right?

-Yeah.

OK, then.

-Are you going to say goodbye to Jojo before you leave?

-Course I will.

You've gone all Charlie Chaplin again.

Silent, I mean, not schmaltzy and unfunny.

You're that boy.

-No.

-Yes, you are.

-Looks, it ain't what you think.

-Why isn't it?

Because it's just...

-like a photograph.

-No, it's not.

I did it, you get to feel what the boy feels, it's ace.

Shut up about it.

-What about today, though?

-What about it?

Don't you go and see them today?

-They're gone.

-But I was with them.

-No...

-They told me a story.

-No, they're gone.

It's just what happens to people, isn't it?

-I see it every day - look at you lot.

-Don't understand.

Well...

It's always a version of the same story, isn't it?

People are there...

..and then they're not.

What am I going to tell my mum?

When're you coming back?

I don't know.

I hope it's soon.

Oh, no...

Jane... You can't.

It's OK, Frank.

I thought we might make a garden.

-What do you think?

-OK.

So where do you think we should put it?

-We could put it on that bit up there?

-That's a good idea.

Hello.

Hello, Mum.

Hello.

-Hello.

-Do you want to help with my garden?

OK.

-Mate, are you all right?

-Yeah.

What? Say that again.

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-Mate, you're back! How?

- I don't know, I just snapped out of it. - Where've you been, soldier?

-I know what happened.

-Yes, so do I.

-How do YOU know?

-I extracted over there, I saw...

-Hey, hey, hey!

Calm down, monkeys, all right?

- How did Mrs take it? - We didn't tell her!

It's not a reliable extraction.

- But I know where he is! - Snap out of it!

Not interested in your little daytrip!

We don't do 3-D stuff, you know that - our domain starts at four.

And since when are glow-chasing, lying

and maverick operations order of the day?

Faulkner's got early-onset Alzheimer's because of that kind of feckless fucking about.

Let's get out of here and maybe we can talk about how to try

and save your jobs, understand?

I said, "Do you understand?"

-Do you want to look after her?

-Eh?

You heard, do you want to look after her?

What the bloody hell are you talking about?

-Yeah.

-Right. Take her there.

She'll need looking after after she's been there.

-He's out of his mind, don't listen to him.

-Right, I will.

-Bennett!

- Leave him, boss. - Bennett, I'm talking to you!

Bennett, you take one more step and you'll regret it, sunshine!

I don't think I will.

Fine.

You were always a wet blanket, anyway. A fucking dilettante.

Say what you want, Boss.

You want no part of this, son - come on.

Oh, I think I'm stopping here an' all, Boss.

Don't be ridiculous.

- You'll still make the grade. - No, no!

Listen... You're A-team material.

You're a natural, Son, it's in your blood.

I don't want it, boss.

I ain't interested in politicians and powerbrokers.

Thatcher and Mitterrand was a domestic.

It's the oldest story in the book.

Look, they despise the likes of you and me out there in the real world.

You know that. You'll never fit in anywhere.

Come on...

No, I'm through, Boss. Boss, I'm through...

- Boss, get off me! - Come on!

-What are you doing?

-Enough!

Argh!

No!

You're done, Boss.

You know I can't let this go, don't you? You'll be getting a visit.

Like Culkin!

Yeah, but I ain't Culkin, Boss - it's me,

I don't think you want to do that to me.

It'll be out of my hands, won't it?

Well, not if you never found us.

Not if we was just gone.

I... I don't want you gone.

Sorry.

Take care, Boss - yeah?

Come on.

-Hi.

-All right?

-Let's have a go, then.

-Why?

-Because it's cool.

-Not now, eh?

-Oh, sorry - are you having a go?

-No. I'm just waiting for Bennett.

-Come on, then.

-Stop it.

-What are you waiting for?

-I said stop it.

Oh, for God's sake.

"Who's there?", she said, squinting into the wind.

The old lady gave him dry clothes, sat him in front of the fire...

-Pack it in!

-..and very soon, the boy was as warm as toast!

-I'm serious, that's enough.

-What's the problem?

-You shouldn't even BE here.

-You can't just play by yourself all the time.

There's a name for that, you know.

-I'd love to try on your mum's funky shoes.

-What?

-Let me be her.

-You be the boy.

-No!

Oh come on, it's BORING doing the same thing all the time.

-I'll be the boy, you be the dad.

-No!

-You be the mum, then. Kinky!

-Shut up, we can't do that.

-Why not?

-You KNOW why not, I told you.

They're not here, it's just a... loop, an imprint.

Oh, yeah... That's right.

So if you think about it, then a more honest view would be this.

Think you're clever?

I haven't got a friend in the world.

You've got Bennett, who's actually really cool, but you don't talk to him

because you'd rather sit in here with people who aren't really there.

That's stupid.

All right, fair enough. Point taken. Thanks very much.

And he says to the old lady, "Tell me a story". The old lady says...

-"Once upon a time..."

-And it just goes around again.

And again, and again!

And you're OK with that? That's enough to fill your heart, is it?

You're certainly making up for lost time on the talking front, ain't you?

-Oh, neat parry.

-I preferred you when you were...

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he was very cold and scared in the darkness...

My dad's gone, too.

Yeah, he went because he was...

Whatever he was, I don't care.

It's not the end of everything, is it?

New things start, don't they?

All right, then. I'll leave you to it.

Bye-bye, lovely boy.

-See you, mate.

-Hang on.

And the old lady says, "Once upon a time..."

..He didn't know how he'd arrived there, but he knew he desperately

needed to get himself in the warm and dry, and very soon, too.

He needed to find his house.

He was very cold and scared out in the dark night.

But being a brave boy...

Bye, then.

He walked on.

See you, mate.

Come on, then. That's enough work.

-Do you reckon Lord Lucan looks loads like Freddie Mercury?

-What?

You must have noticed it - Lord Lucan looks just like Freddie Mercury.

I mean, they've got the same-shape face, same eyes, same moustache...

No, I think it's just the moustache, mate. You could put a Freddie Mercury moustache on the Queen,

it'd look like Freddie Mercury.

She wouldn't, she'd look like the Queen with a moustache on!

-All right, picture Lord Lucan in your mind, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Get him in your mind, right? Divide the screen in half...

-OK.

Put Freddie Mercury on the other side...

I'm still only getting the moustache, mate.

-All right, look in Lord Lucan's eyes...

-In his eyes?

-What do you see?

-Er, death?

-What, of a nanny?

-Yeah.

Yes, he topped her, didn't he? Done a runner.

Did you see that Lee Harvey Oswald plate in the back of the News of the world?

-Yeah, his face looks wicked in it.

-Yeah...

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd