The Girl Can't Help It

ORCHESTRA WARMS UP

Ladies and gentlemen.

The motion picture you are about to see is a story of music.

I play the role of Tom Miller - a small-time theatrical agent who'd been a...

Well, you'll see.

This picture was photographed in the grandeur of cinemascope, and...

Pardon me.

This motion picture was photographed in the grandeur of cinemascope,

and in gorgeous, lifelike colour by Deluxe...

..gorgeous, lifelike colour by Deluxe!

Sometimes you wonder who's minding the store.

Oh, yes. Our story is about music.

Not the music of long ago, but the music that expresses the culture

and the polite grace of the present day...

HIS VOICE IS DROWNED OUT BY LOUD ROCK'N'ROLL MUSIC

# As she walks by The men folks get 'n' goes

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# As she winks an eye The bread starts turning to toast

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# Yeah, she got a lot Of what they call the most

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# The girl can't help it She was born to please

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# Yeah, she's got A figure made to squeeze

# Won't you kindly be aware

# The girl can't help it The girl can't help it

# As she walks by Men folks get 'n' goes

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# As she winks an eye The bread starts turning to toast

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# Yeah, she got a lot Of what they call the most

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# The girl can't help it She was born to please

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# And she's got A figure made to squeeze

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# Won't you kindly be aware

# The girl can't help it The girl can't help it

# Because I'm hoping Honestly

# That some day The answer will be

# The girl can't help it Cos she's in love with me

# She can't help it The girl can't help it. #

THEY PLAY JAZZ

Still cadging free drinks, huh? OK, Nick, put it on my tab.

If I can find room. PHONE RINGS

Hello? LOUD JAZZ

Yeah, he's here. It's for you.

Hello. Yes, this is Miller.

Sorry, I can't talk now. I'm just closing a big deal on one of my acts.

It's closed. I make fast deals.

Tonight? No, I'm working on another big deal tonight.

What's that address again?

942...Park Avenue?

Apartment 1502.

I might make it after all.

OK, 8.30.

DOORBELL RINGS

I'm Miller. I'm Mousey.

WOMAN SINGING In there, he's expecting you.

Who is?

SINGING GETS LOUDER

# I didn't have to wait all night

# Till I began to see the light

# Kate did a dance that was something new...

Hey Miller! Grab yourself a chair.

# ..Why all the boys are going wild

# Over sister Katie's

# Style

# I...wish that I could shimmy like my sister Kate

# She shivers like the jelly

# On a plate HE LAUGHS

# My man, he wanted to know last night

# Why all the boys treat sister Kate so right

# Every boy in our neighbourhood

# Knows that she can shimmy And she shimmies good...

Lay off the booze, Miller.

# ..When I can shimmy like my sister Kate, uh-huh

# Shimmy like my sister Kate. #

APPLAUSE

Put the other reel on, Mousey.

I love old movies at home. Like TV, except no commercials.

Glad you could come, Miller. Thanks, Mr...

Murdock. You can forget the mister. My friends call me Marty.

Fats Marty.

Fats Marty? Ring a bell?

Vaguely, I seem to remember the name. Vaguely. Vaguely I don't like it.

My memory isn't the best. Drink?

Oh, you were hoarding it. That's brandy.

You're a scotch man. Didn't want you to make a mistake.

I know everything about the people I do business with.

Business ain't been so good lately? I won't waste time lying.

I got no time to waste. Tom Miller, small-time agent.

Once a touch of class, but dropping steadily. Owes maybe three G -

office rent, apartment, big bar bills.

Hey, you even had your Diners' Club card cancelled.

You left out I owe the paper boy.

I also left out you once had a nose for new talent - dug up some big canaries.

But the booze got in your way.

Couldn't hold on to the canaries, right?

Right. Anything else I can tell you?

Like MY drinking is MY business? Thanks for the autobiography.

Integrity. I like that. Even when you can't afford it.

Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

That makes it integrity.

Hey.

Hey, you got a point there.

OK, cool off.

You never mixed business with pleasure. Kept your hands off the lady clients.

That I like.

Si'down, Mr Miller. We're both a couple of has-beens...temporarily.

Come on, si'down.

All right, roll it, Mousey. Here's your drink.

I collect old newreels I got personal interest in.

NEWSREEL: 'Mayor of New York personally attacks illegal gambling.

'Mayor hits jackpot.

'Mayor bids bon voyage to slots. Now other poor fish can gamble.

'Back at the municipal court, the king of the slot-machine syndicate,

'Slim Murdock, goes into custody.'

I was slim back in those days.

'Gambling equipment from raid on Murdock's Long Island casino burns.

'A tip by Legs Wheeler, 13 of Murdock's mob are killed. Murdock vows to wipe out Wheeler.'

I got out of that one too. I had lawyers in those days.

I jumped bail. That's how come I took my first trip to the Continent.

I was kind of a talent scout myself.

'Slim Murdock relaxes on Riviera.

'While New York Crime Commission seeks his extradition,

'Slim Murdock puts on weight making whoopie with European beauties.

'Nice going, Fats!'

"Fats"! That European coosine and no work put the lard on.

Gave me a moniker I never could lose.

I had me a time over there.

Then I got lonely for my native land.

You know, "Breathes there a man with soul so dead..." You know that one?

My lawyer tells me the heat's off, so I come home.

I find out my lawyer's disbarred.

'Atlanta Penitentiary, future home of Fats Murdock, indicted on three counts of income tax evasion.'

Now comes the sad part.

'Fats arrives to start prison term on tips supplied by Legs Wheeler.

'Once a big man, Fats will now be just another number.'

Fats Marty. Of course.

The top boy behind the slot machines.

I should have remembered.

Sorry, Fats.

HE TRIES TO SPEAK

It's all right, Tommy boy. It's all right.

Nobody remembers Fats, no more, Tommy boy.

But things used to be different.

I'd drive down those streets and scare people silly. I was somebody.

I used to get bullet-proof convertibles, ring-side tables,

best box at the polo grounds, right next to the mayor's, you know?

I know.

Now I'm so dead, I don't even get a mention in a scandal magazine.

You used to be a big man. You want to come back, don't you?

I can't go back any further. So we're in business, right? Right.

What business? Show business.

I got a dame, see? Nice, sweet, innocent dame.

But she's a nobody. How can I marry a nobody? You saw her.

I was up there once. That's where you come in.

You're gonna make her into a star. Then the dame and me, we're compatible.

For openers, I pay all your bills, so you can concentrate on building the dame into a big canary.

Only remember - hands off, like you got the rep for.

You'll take me out of hock? 10 Gs now. Advance against your 10%.

A drawn account for songs, special materials, special arrangements, etc, etc, etc.

It's a deal? It's a deal.

Signed, sealed and now...delivered!

Hey, Mousey! Yeah, boss.

Bring in my future star! Yeah, boss.

Easy, Fats, you just can't take any girl and make her a star.

You've done it before... Not me, Fats. The girls had talent.

I've met guys like you. They think a dame has something special, but usually she's got nothing.

I could lie to you, Fats. Take your 10 grand, go through the motions. I can't do it.

Call it integrity, or some other dirty word, but I can't do it.

The girl would know I wasn't interested.

I won't embarrass her. I'll beat it before she shows.

Huuuugh! ICE CLINKS IN GLASS

Mr Miller...

Miss Jerri Jordan. I made up the name myself. It'll look good in lights. You like it?

Very much. Tommy boy, I'm putting her in your hands, figuratively speaking.

You got six weeks to have her a star.

The first thing... Six weeks! Easy, it takes time.

Rome wasn't built in a day. She ain't Rome.

What we're talking about is already built. Right?

No argument.

# Yo-our eyes they shine

# Like stars

# So bright

# Brighter

# Than the heavens

# Above

# Some folks may want the stars

# For stars are always blue

# But darling

# Let them have the stars

# Just take me back to you

# Yo-ou made a mirror of iron tonight

# You're my idea of love. #

Beat it, dead beat.

Scotch. Bottle of Scotch.

NEXT SONG STARTS

Huh!

Hey! What d'you do, find uranium somewhere? Yep.

In Rome, Nicky boy. In Rome.

Cigars? Cigarettes? Hmmm.

Cigars? Cigarettes? Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Why not?

We'll smoke 'em tomorrow, honey.

Ooof! Huh!

But tonight... they're playing our song.

# Gonna find me a pretty mama

# One that's gonna treat me right

# Gonna find me a pretty mama

# One that won't fuss and fight

# Cos I ain't gonna cry no more

# I ain't gonna cry no more

# Well, you take you and your fella

# And make just like the breeze

# Yeah, you take you and your fella

# And add that sauce to eat

# Cos I ain't gonna cry no more

# I ain't gonna cry no more. #

Get your mornin' papers!

Get your mornin' paper, ma'am? No thanks, honey.

Can you tell me where I can find 341?

Second block, ma'am. Thanks, sonny.

HE WOLF-WHISTLES

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# When she walks by The men folks get 'n' goes

# Can't help it The girl can't help it

# When she winks an eye Bread starts turning to toast

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# Yeah, she got a lot of what they call the most

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# The girl can't help it Cos she was born to please

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# And she's got a figure made to squeeze

# She can't help it The girl can't help it

# Won't you kindly be aware

# The girl can't help it The girl can't help it. #

HE GROANS

Hup!

HE SIGHS

DOOR SLAMS

Good morning, Mr Miller. What are you doing here?

What do you mean? You want my funeral in Fats' newsreels?

But Mr Murdock sent me over.

He sent you? So you can start working on me.

Honey, this is no place to start.

I've been in men's bedrooms before. I grew up with seven brothers and a father.

Besides, you're half-dressed already.

Don't come in here. I think you need this.

What's in it?

It'll make you feel better. Are you sure?

I made them for my father. He drank a lot trying to forget my mother.

I'm sorry, I... Sorry?

I didn't know your mo... She isn't - that's why my father drank.

How do you feel now, Mr Miller? Fine.

Bottle that recipe, you'll make a fortune. Ha-ha! You oughtn't to be doing all this.

I'm domestic. I hope you like egg souffle.

Souffle? Mm-hmm. It's not exactly a breakfast, but it's eggs.

I figured you took strong coffee.

Good figuring.

Except I wouldn't have figured you as...domestic.

It's one of my favourite pastimes.

What is? Cooking. OVEN DOOR SQUEAKS

What are the others? Oh, keeping house. You know.

Keeping everything neat.

I noticed that. Mmm?

Not HIS place, I mean my own place. You th...

Oh, no, I mean MY OWN place.

But I only get a chance to keep house on the maid's day off. How's your souffle?

Bottle it. You got another fortune. I'm glad you like it.

I like it but... I'm a little confused.

Who isn't? You know, sometimes I think I'm mixed up.

I mean, if you like keeping house, why a maid?

Mr Murdock doesn't want me to work. He says I have to BE a career.

Have to be? Most pretty girls WANT careers. Pretty!

You should see me without make-up. I'll show you some time.

Pretty is how good you apply your base. You don't want a career?

I just wanna be a wife.

Have kids.

But everyone figures me for a sexpot.

No-one thinks I'm equipped for motherhood.

# Ready, set

# Go man, go

# I've got a girl that I love so

# I'm ready

# Ready, ready, set I'm ready

# Ready, ready set I'm

# Ready, ready, ready to Rock'n'roll

# Going to the corner Pick up my sweetie pie

# She's my rock'n'roll baby She's the apple of my eye

# I'm ready

# Ready, ready, set I'm ready

# Ready, ready, set I'm

# Ready, ready, ready to Rock'n'roll

# All the flat top cats And the dungaree dogs

# Are heading from the gym To the society ball

# The dogs are really jumpin'...

Mr Miller? Yes.

Why must I keep my stole on in here?

It's the first step in your build-up.

You're building me up? I'll explain later.

# ..Are heading from the gym To the society ball

# The dogs are really jumpin' The cats are going wild

# The music really seem Like it did the first time

# I'm ready

# Ready, ready, steady I'm ready

# Ready, ready, steady

# Ready, ready, ready to Rock'n'roll

# Gonna kick off my shoes Roll up my faded jeans

# Tell my rock'n'roll baby To get up on the stage

# I step to the left I step to the right

# Gonna rock and roll To the early, early night

# I'm ready

# Ready, ready, steady I'm ready

# Ready, ready, steady

# Ready, ready, ready to Rock'n'roll. #

It depends on strategy.

If I told the owner I had a sensational performer, he has to figure I'm axe-grinding for my 10%.

But if I DON'T try to sell him, he sees her, he flips,

and he comes to me to check on her.

I don't see anybody flipping or checking. You will.

Take your stole off and go to the powder room. Powder room?

Just visit a while.

But walk by the reservation desk - that's where the owner hangs out.

On your way.

Seems awfully silly, Mr Miller.

Operation Powder Room in operation. Yes, sir!

# Looking so pretty And this is what I say

# She's got it

# Ooh, baby, she's got it

# I can't do without her

# Big blue eyes Long black hair

# Ample cheeks And she's no square

# She's got it

# Ooh, baby, she's got it

# I can't do without her

# Her ruby lips Shapely hips

# She walk down the street And all the cats flips

# She's got it

# Ooh, baby, she's got it

# I can't do without her

# She love to sing

# Hot-rod queen

# She's real gone in everything

# She's got it

# Ooh, baby, she's got it

# I can't do without her

# Aaaaa-ah.... #

It seems silly. I gave the powder room lady a quarter - what for?

Listen. Don't say anything except, "Ask my agent." "Ask my agent"?

No matter what anyone says, you say, "Ask my agent."

Hi, Tom, haven't seen you lately. How's Julie London?

Hiya, Lucas, like the show. I hope madame shares your opinion.

Ask my agent. The beautiful lady is a performer, hey?

Ask my agent.

What do you do? Er, sing, dance..?

Ask my agent. Oh, ha-ha-ha!

The lady's a comedienne, hey?

She's under wraps, Lucas. See you around. Come on, honey.

Hey, Tom - you sell her anywhere else, and you're barred from here.

You couldn't meet her price, Lucas.

She's got it all.

# I wanna kiss

# I wanna cling

# But baby there's a time and place for everything

# So please, please, cool it, baby

# Show the gang you ain't no square

# Cool it, baby

# We don't want those cats to stare

# Coolly do it, baby Make like a polar bear

# Oh, there's Sam with Sue Viv with Gus

# They all got stooby-dooby eyes on us

# So cool it, baby

# Oh, you know I need you so

# Cool it, baby

# Take it easy, take it slow

# Coolly do it, baby Make like an eskimo

# I love your eyes I love your lips

# They taste even better than potato chips

# Cool it, baby...

You want anything, miss? No thanks, just visiting.

# ..We'll go, go, go Till we're all in love again. #

# She's got sugar-dip kisses Sugar-dip kisses

# And cherry-dip charms Cherry-dip charms

# And I melt like butter Melt like butter

# In her honey-coat arms In her honey-coat arms

# She's a kick-flicking baby Oh, what a baby

# And I love her pies Love her pies

# But she's a cinnamon sinner

# Selling lollipop lies

# She's got sugar-dip trimmings Sugar-dip trimmings

# Sprinkled with lime Sprinkled with lime

# And her heart ever lovin' Heart ever lovin'

# Is cookin' all the time

# Well, she's a kick-flicking baby Oh, what a baby

# And I love her pies Love her pies

# But she's a cinnamon sinner

# Selling lollipop lies

# Who's gonna buy her lies today?

# Who's gonna be unwise today?

# Well, who's gonna need Who's gonna need

# Who's gonna need her sympathy?

# Who? Who? Who? Who?

# Who, but a fool like me?

# But she's my marsh-mallow mama Oh, what a mama

# With a jelly-roll heart Jelly-roll heart

# She's a sweet-toothed teaser

# Who, who Can really play her part

# But I think she's second sister

# Wearing a disguise

# For my cinnamon sinner

# Selling lollipop lies. #

If it isn't Miller, the demon agent. Where you been hiding? Around.

We were just leaving, Sam.

Come on, honey. You got to be up early to work on the new arrangement.

Arrangement? You sing, too?

Ask my agent.

I intend to.

You couldn't meet her price, Sam.

# Spread the word Spread the gospel

# Let the congregation know

# That a cornet was the downfall Of the walls of Jericho

# Spread the word

# Spread the gospel

# Speak the truth

# It will be heard

# Till the next revival meeting

# Spread the gospel Spread the word

# So he writ the manuscriptures

# Did the leader of the flock

# And his music is my saviour

# And his rhythm is my rock

# Spread the word

# Spread the gospel

# Speak the truth

# It will be heard

# Go among the disbelievers

# Spread the gospel Spread the word

# Angel Gabriel blows his trumpet...

Now? Now.

# ..Spread the word

# Spread the gospel

# Speak the truth

# It will be heard

# Till we get there with the faithful...

Pardon me, miss. I'm Joe Rodgers. I own this place. Can I be of any service?

I'm going to the powder room! Ooh, that was an ad lib.

Sorry, ask my agent. Bye bye.

# ..Speak the truth

# It will be heard

# Glory be And hallelujah

# Spread the gospel Spread the word. #

APPLAUSE

SLOW DANCE MUSIC

See how that strategy pans out?

The first time out, and already four owners are drooling over you.

Not now. The owner isn't at the desk.

This one's on me.

I never noticed before, but they put them too far from the tables.

No more walking. I promise. Hm.

Good night, Jerri. Good night, Mr Miller.

See you tomorrow. Mm-hmm.

Oh, Mr Miller...

Mmm? Why do you drink so much?

Just a habit, I suppose. A girl habit?

Girls? No! I haven't got a girl!

Mr Miller.

If it was Julie London...

she wasn't very bright.

RECORD CRACKLES

MUSIC BEGINS

# Now you say you're lonely

# You cry the long night through

# Well, you can cry me a river

# Cry me a river

# I cried a river

# Over you

# Now you say you're sorry

# For being so untrue

# Well, you can cry me a river

# Cry me a river

# I cried a river

# Over you

# You drove me

# Nearly drove me out of my head

# While you never shed

# A tear

# Remember, I remember

# All that you said

# Told me love was too plebian

# Told me you were through with me

# And now

# You say you love me

# Well, just to prove

# You do

# Come on and cry me a river

# Cry me a river

# I cried a river

# Over you

# I cried a river

# Over you

VOICE ECHOES: # I cried a river

# Over you

VOICE FADES: # I cried a river

# Over you

# I cried a river

# Over you... #

He picked her up at her place, 9.25. Cab to the Hi-Hat,

Late Place, Jungle Room, Sunrise Club, cab back, left her at the front door, 2.40.

Pub crawl, huh? I don't get it, and I don't like it.

Tell him to come to Long Island tomorrow.

Never mind. You better call Jerri. Why?

Something's wrong.

Every place, first thing.

Off to the powder room.

Poor kid.

What do you mean, "What does she do?" Listen, Rodgers, she sings.

She's got a great pair of lungs.

Come up with a deal and we'll talk.

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

Mr Miller, look!

Made it, huh?

Tom Miller pubbed it with a new find.

Her name is a secret but the rest of her isn't.

I saw her yesterday. She's something!

She's a girl, Barry. Just a girl.

If she's a girl, then I don't know what my sister is!

CAR HORN TOOTS OUTSIDE

You ready up there? I'm ready!

Oh, hi, how are you, sonny?

"Sonny". That's what makes juvenile delinquent.

Leave the papers here, Barry. Listen, Mr Miller.

Take me on for a client. That would impress her. I can sing, honest!

Sorry, Barry, I got my hands full.

There's gotta be an answer to that.

He has a place out here, too?

It used to be the casino. He likes it because of the memories.

The old ancestral home, huh? Mr Murdock wasn't born there.

But most of his best friends were killed there, you know, in police raids and everything.

Don't worry, Mr Murdock put new carpets in all over.

Well, how's this for a picnic?

Picnic? It's a surprise! I'll get the lunch.

Won't Fats be surprised? He's expecting us.

We have lots of time. You get the basket, I'll undress.

Undress? Wait a minute.

There are blankets in here, too.

Blankets? To sit on! Come on, bring the lunch.

If I have the strength.

My mother would say, "Be nice to Mr Murdock, Georgiana."

My father would say the same, so I'm nice to Mr Murdock.

Georgiana. I like that.

Now I'm a Jerri. You think a boy's name fits me?

Hardly.

I sure don't think it does. You like how I fry fried chicken?

Delicious.

Yesterday you wanted me to bottle everything.

OK, bottle it!

When did you first meet Fat... Mr Murdock?

I was just a kid. You know, young, but developed early.

Where did you meet him? In Atlanta, on visiting days.

At the penitentiary? Mm-hmm. I went there with my father.

You see, Mr Murdock and my father were former business associates.

I'm afraid it's just lemonade.

Not that frozen stuff. I squeezed fresh lemons early this morning.

Early, before you had your base on? I was a mess!

I don't believe it.

Then when did you and Murdock get together again?

He's finally got out of jail. Now I could visit my father for a change.

But I'd grown up. One night Mr Murdock looked at me funny and it happened. I see.

Oh, nothing like that.

Mr Murdock looked at me funny and said he was falling in love with me.

I said I was the first girl he'd made a pass at since he got out.

He said, no, he really did love me, and he was going to make me a somebody.

We better go now. I'm sorry, I talk so much.

It was very interesting, Georgiana. A love story always is. Love story? I owe him.

Owe him?

For my father. Like I told you, they were business associates.

If it wasn't for Mr Murdock, my father would have got life, not ten years.

SHOTS FIRE

What was that?!

It's just the exhaust from a fishing boat.

Don't be so nervous, Mr Miller!

If it's what I'm thinking...

GUN FIRES

You haven't lost the old pitchin' arm, boss.

- Ain't they supposed to be here? - Don't worry about Jerri.

She's always on the dot.

(She'd better be.)

Legs Wheeler tipped off the cops. It was a massacre.

Pittsburgh Phil got it right here, next to shot-gun Shortie.

Oh, yeah, Baby Face Ranaldi.

This is where he got blasted, right through the hat band.

That makes 13, don't it?

I stopped counting with Mugsy The Mugger. Oh, Mugsy.

Nice guy. Looked like a sieve. He got it right where you're sitting.

You need a refill. You know something, Tommy boy?

I could run guided tours through this joint! Ha-ha-ha!

It's kind of a educational, kind of historical kind of place.

It's not one of them "George Washington slept here" places.

But the guys that slept here really slept here, huh? Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hey!

Jerri! Yes.

I told you before. No apron!

I was just fixing crepes suzette, Mr Murdock.

Well, stop fixing - they're fattening!

Dumb broad! All she thinks of is cooking.

How can you make a star with a waistline full of calories?

I'm not gonna make her a star, Fats.

You're not what?

I want out of the deal, Fats. Get yourself another agent.

I got myself an agent. Be reasonable, Fats.

She isn't interested in a career. You just said so yourself.

If a girl's gonna make it big in show business, she's got to be... vitally interested in it.

"Vitally", huh?

Hey, Mousey! Yeah, boss. Turn 'em loose!

At night, boss? You can't see!

Turn 'em loose!

It don't matter she ain't vitally interested.

Just make her into a star, like you did with, er... What's her name?

Julie London. You remember her, don't you?

You know me, vague on names. I'll help you.

Julie went for you. All the singing she wanted was lullabies.

But you were an eager agent, pushing her into a career she didn't want.

Personally, I think you made a mistake. She was a good-looking dame.

But she's a big record name now. So where's the "vitally interested"?

Shooting a little low, aren't you, Fats?

Just conversation. The point is, you did it with Julie.

I like the way you did it with Jerri, doing that night club crawl.

You're a real live wire, Miller.

Let 'em loose, Mousey!

GUN SHOTS

And you want to stay a live wire.

"CRY ME A RIVER" ON JUKE BOX

Turn that thing off, will you? What's up, don't you like that song?

No, I don't like it.

I'll tell you why.

Cos every time she sings it, I see her all over the place.

Most of my customers see little green men. I see HER.

Everywhere I look, I see her.

You wanna bet she's sitting on the stool right here?

Hiya, Julie.

MUSIC CONTINUES

Julie?

Julie!

She's gone.

Georgie. Georgie? But you said Julie, pal.

No. It's Georgie.

Georgiana.

# Be bop a lula She's my baby

# Be bop a lula I don't mean maybe

# Be bop a lula She-e-e's my baby doll

# My baby doll, my baby doll

# Well, she's the gal In the ripped blue jeans

# She's the queen of all the teens

# She's the woman that I know

# She's the woman that loves me so Say

# Be bop a lula She's my baby

# Be bop a lula I don't mean maybe

# Be bop a lula She-e-e's my baby doll

# My baby doll, my baby doll

# Let's rock...

We need a room.

Studio B, second floor, five bucks an hour.

# ..She's the woman with the flying feet

# She's the one that walks around the store

# She's the one that gets More, more, more, more

# Be bop a lula... #

Let's get to work. We got a lot to do.

You'll have no trouble with me, Mr Miller.

You vocalise, I'll find your range, then we can have arrangements made. Ready?

I'm ready. I'm ready, except...

Except what? Except...

What happened, Mr Miller? What do you mean?

You're so different today. We're here to work, Jerri.

It's Jerri, not Georgiana any more. What did you two talk about?

Nothing. Mostly about the mortuary he had in his living room.

I saw your face when he was shooting.

Nothing, Jerri! Call me Georgie, please.

I thought we were friends.

I had fun with you and I thought you were having fun with me, too.

I have no friends here except Mousey, and he's afraid of...

You're afraid of him, too. What did he say?

He didn't say. I did. I told him I wanted out. You're not interested in show business.

I didn't want to be part of making you anything you didn't want to be.

That was nice of you to think of me. Whatever it was, it didn't work. Ready?

He got tough, didn't he? Look, I don't want Fats to have to buy another carpet on account of me.

You're going to be Jerri Jordan, singer, darling of the juke boxes,

whether you want to be, or whether I want you to be.

Let's get to work.

All right, let's get to work, Mr Miller. Just try the scales.

HE PLAYS ARPEGGIOS Now try doh.

HE PLAYS NOTE ON PIANO

WAVERING AND OUT OF TUNE: # Do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h #

Try ray.

WAVERING: # Ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay #

Better try me.

OUT OF TUNE: # Me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e #

BULB SMASHES

HE SNIGGERS You can't sing!

I know. Have you ever heard anything so awful?!

Never. Never!

THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY Now he'll HAVE to let you go!

And you don't have to be in showbiz!

SHE SQUEALS WITH LAUGHTER

That's the straight of it. Jerri just can't sing.

Do you understand, Fats? She can't sing. She just doesn't have a voice.

I stink, Mr Murdock. You don't stink.

I do so. I'm telling you, I stink, stink, stink!

You don't stink! But something smells around here.

No voice, huh? Well, I don't see nothing wrong when she talks. Talk, Jerri!

Stink, stink, STINK, Mr Murdock.

What's wrong with that? She talks good.

Listen, Miller. She's gonna be a singer, like I want her to.

She'll be on every juke box I put a dime in, and I got lots o' dimes for putting in!

Speaking has nothing to do with her singing voice. I'm telling you, she can't sing.

Just listen.

Ready, Jerri. I'm ready, Mr Miller. Hold it.

Watch out for flying glass.

HE PLAYS NOTE Just sing the me. Yes, Mr Miller.

FALTERING: # Me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e #

Miss Jordan. Miss Jordan! Miss Jordan, hurry!

What's the matter, Hilda?

He's on the phone, he's yelling something awful. No!

Hello?

APPLAUSE FROM TELEVISION Where ya been? What's the matter?

Put it on channel two, that's the matter!

What does he want? I don't know.

It's on, Mr Murdock. Now you and Miller watch, watch it good, OK?

Watch it good, yes, Mr Murdock.

Don't hang up. I'll talk to you as soon as he finishes his next number.

We have to watch the television.

APPLAUSE He'll be back in just a moment. I've never let you down.

Who is it? I don't know!

'And now we pause...'

Fats. 'Yes.' It's me, Miller.

WATCH THE TELEVISION!

RECEIVER CLATTERS ON FLOOR

He's back again, Eddie Cochrane -

one of America's top rock'n'rollers. Eddie.

APPLAUSE

# Ooh, well, I've got a girl with a record machine

# When it comes to rockin' She's a queen

# We love to dance on a Saturday night

# All alone when I can hold her tight

# But she lives on the 20th floor up town

# The elevator's broken down

# So I walk one, two flight three flight, four

# Five, six, seven flight eight flight, more

# Up on the twelfth I'm starting to drag

# Fifteenth floor, I'm ready to sag

# Get to the top I'm too tired to rock

# Well, she call me up on the telephone

# Say, come on over, honey I'm all alone

# I said, Betty, you're mighty sweet

# But I'm in bed with a-aching feet

# This went on for a couple of days

# But I couldn't stay away

# So I walked one, two flight three flight, four

# Five, six, seven flight eight flight, more

# Up on the twelfth I'm a-ready to drag

# Fifteenth floor I'm a-starting to sag

# Get to the top I'm too tired to rock

# Well, they sent it to Chicago For repairs

# Till it's a-fixed I'm a-using the stairs

# Hope they hurry Before it's too late

# I love my baby too much to wait Haaa-ha!

# All this climbin' is a-getting me down

# They'll find my corpse draped over her rail

# But I climbed one, two flight three flight, four

# Five, six, seven flight eight flight, more

# Up on the twelfth I'm a-ready to drag

# Well, the fifteenth floor I'm a-starting to sag

# Get to the top

# I'm too tired to rock. #

APPLAUSE

Why does he want us to watch HIM?

I can give you the dialogue: "OK, so Jerri can't sing.

"Well, that guy ain't got a trained voice, either, and he's a star.

"Why? Because he has a new sound. So Jerri has a new sound.

"Go cut a record with her tomorrow." You're kidding, Mr Miller.

Am I? Listen.

Yes, Fats. 'OK. So Jerri can't sing.'

Well, that guy ain't got a trained voice, either, and he's a top record star.

'Why? Cos he's got a new sound.'

Jerri's got a new sound. You cut a record with her tomorrow.

OK, Fats.

Listen. You come over here first thing. I've got just the song I want Jerri to sing.

OK, Fats.

I had a lot of leesure when I was in the poky, so I wrote songs for the Christmas show.

Course, I ain't no Hammerstein, or Irving Berlin!

This here was the first one I wrote.

"No lights on the Christmas tree. They're using the electric chair tonight."

I used to get a lot of laughs with that one. Funny(!)

Here's another one. Kinda...sentimental.

"I'll get no good behaviour, baby If I keep thinking of you."

That's sweet. Hey, you noticed that, huh?

Hey, here. Here's the one for Jerri. You try this.

HE PLAYS PIANO INTRO

# Darlin', oh my darlin'

# In that prison cell I'd be

# Thinkin' of...the day that I'd get out

# And hold you close to me

# But

RAUCOUSLY: # What is it I always see?

# One rock, two rocks

# Three rocks, four rocks

# Rock pile dust is on my shoes

LABORIOUS MELODY: # One rock, two rocks

# Three rocks, four rocks

# I'm a guy just born to lose

# When I hear that siren blow

# I get those blues... #

OK, Mr Anthony, this is a take. BAND STARTS UP

# Darlin', oh my darlin'

# In that prison cell I'd be

# Thinkin' of the day that I'd get out

# And hold you close to me

# But what is it I always see?

CHORUS, BARBER-SHOP STYLE: # One rock, two rocks, three rocks, four rocks

# Rock pile dust is on my shoes

# I'm a guy just born to lose

# When I hear the siren blow

# Oooo-oo-eeeeee-oooo

# I get those blues

# Rock, rock, Rockin' round the rock pile

# Rock, rock Rockin' round the rock pile

# That siren's got me cryin'

# Two rocks

# Four rocks

# They make

# More rocks

# Shut my cell and lock me in

# Never let me out again

# When I hear the siren blow

# Oooo-eee-ii-ouuuuw

# I get those rock, rock

# Rock around the rock pile

# Blues

SHE CRUNCHES ON APPLE

I never knew singing could make you so hungry. Ha-ha-ha!

I'll take it to Wheeler Enterprises in Chicago.

I wish it was her day off - I'd have made much better sandwiches. Huh-huh!

Thanks. Hu-hmm! It's a large family.

I see how you got your cooking experience.

Mmmm? Oh, ha-ha!

And my father was...away when that picture was taken.

Oh, he was a big eater, too.

You know, Mr Miller. This'll be the first Thanksgiving I haven't been with my family.

Could my brothers eat?!

Especially after they started going with girls - it gives a man an appetite.

It depends.

I'd like a large family, wouldn't you, Mr Miller? I hope I have a large fam...

I mean, it's fun.

Maybe we could have Thanksgiving dinner together, Mr Miller. Maybe we can, Georgie.

Good night, Georgie.

Ooooh!

BUZZER SOUNDS Mr Miller!

Jerri!

BUZZER SOUNDS

Jerri!

HE HOLDS BUZZER DOWN

Jerri!

Who is it?

It's me, Fats. I'm taking a bath. Huh! Ow!

What? A hot bath. Be right there.

Remember. You stay in the hideout room until I get her out.

Pretty sneaky. It's like you don't trust her.

It's her AND him. She's a good cook, and I got a feelin' something's cookin'.

Hey, Mousey, remember the old days? We used to use this place for printing up money?

Money meant something in the old days, before taxes.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear anything in the shower. It's all right.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Hey! You smell good! Ha-ha-ha. Thanks, Mr Murdock.

I'm buying you a turkey dinner, you'd like that? I'd...love it.

Get dressed up warm, I got the top down. Go on, honey. Be right back.

You bug her telephone and listen in if he calls.

Now, remember, quiet!

PLATE FALLS LOUDLY ON SHELF

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello.

WOMAN'S VOICE: 'Miss Jerri Jordan?' Yes.

'Chicago calling. Go ahead, sir.'

Hello?

Georgie. How are you?

Fine now.

I thought you'd be back in time for Thanksgiving.

I didn't see Wheeler yet.

He controls most of the juke boxes in the country. I see him tomorrow.

I miss you, Mr Miller. It's been over a week.

I miss you too, Georgie.

'What'd you do today?'

Mr Murdock took me to dinner. How is Fats?

He's dying to hear the new record.

If I'm lucky, he'll hear it over all those juke boxes he has all those dimes to put in.

'I wish you were here.' 'I do too, Georgie.'

I'll fly back after I see the man.

'Good night, Georgie.' TEARFULLY: Good night, Mr Miller.

SOBBING COMES THROUGH BUGGING DEVICE

HE STARTS TO SOB

DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS AGAIN

Mousey!

Yeah, boss. Come here!

Well, how d'you make out? What do you think?

How many years I been doing this? So did Miller call?

Yeah, he called, from Chicago. Had a nice little talk.

"Nice little talk." I'll bet!

Set up the tape!

'Hello. Miss Jerri Jordan? Yes.

'Chicago calling. Go ahead, sir.

'Hello? How are you?

'Fine. I thought you'd be back by now.

'I didn't see Wheeler yet. He's the guy who controls most of the juke boxes in the country.

'I'll see him tomorrow, then I'll fly back afterwards.

'Well, good night. Good night, Mr Miller.'

That's it? That's all?!

You heard, didn't you? Yeah, I heard.

Something's wrong. I know I figured right.

Hey! Hey!

Could they have figured the joint was rigged?

How could they? You think I'm called Mousey because I make noises?

OK, OK. OK nothing, where do you come off?

That's a smear on my talents. All right.

How about the time I bugged the DA? All right.

The time I bugged the governor's mother-in-law?! OK! Stop bragging!

I don't get it.

Why was he so happy over the fact that she can't sing, huh?

Only one reason - cos he figured, if she didn't make it, I wouldn't marry her.

Then HE'd move in.

They...

They... They gotta be soft-talking each other!

You heard. Yeah.

Yeah, I heard!

I'm...

I'm going to bed. Yeah, boss.

DOOR SLAMS

That's the thing to do.

That's the thing to do...

..boss.

# Rockin' is our business

# And rockin' is what we do Oh, yeah

# Come on, everybody We want you to rock with us, too

# You tell' em Now we've got Don on sax

# Henry on drums

# Jimmy on bass

# Gene on piano

# Cliff and Clive to sing this jive

# Come on, everybody Get this joint alive

# Rockin' is our business

# And rockin' is what we do

# Rock Whaaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock Whaaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock Whaaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock Whaaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock Whaaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock, rock Rock, rock

# When you go out in high hall

# Want the joint to rock

# All you do is give us a car

# We'll be jiving on the spot

# Rockin' is our business

# And rockin' is what we do

# Rock Haaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock Haaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock Haaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock Haaa

# Rock, everybody

# Rock, rock

# Rock, everybody

# Rock, rock, rock, rock

# Rock, rock, rock, everybody

# Rock, rock, rock, rock

# Ro-o-o-o-o-o-ck

# Ya. #

I can assure you of another gold record.

Thanks, Mr Wheeler.

Mr Miller is here to see you. Miller?

Tom Miller - the agent who brought you Julie London. Fine. We could use another London.

JUKE BOX: # When you hear the siren blow

# Ooo-ii-eeeee-ah

# I get those rock, rock

# Rock around the rock pile

# Rock, rock

# Rock around the rock pile

# Blues. #

MUSIC STOPS

I'm a Ray Anthony fan. Fortunately I have him under personal contract.

By the way, what sort of gadget did Ray use for that weird siren sound?

Sort of a girl-type gadget.

A girl? Oh, she's your client?

Well, yes she is, Mr Wheeler.

I shouldn't have wasted your time, but I wanted to come to the top.

She's, er, excellent. Voice like that'll catch on. She'll be a star.

I definitely want to sign her to a long-term contract.

Mmmm. I like the song, also. Who wrote it?

The name's Murdock. He's got a cell full of 'em.

He has the...feel of what people want. Is he your client, too?

No, he handles himself. He's Fats Murdock... if your memory isn't vague.

My memory's anything but vague, Mr Miller.

You mean "Marty" Fats Murdock? Yes, the slot machine king of the old days.

Uh-huh.

'Yes, Mr Wheeler.' Send Laurence and Eugene in, please.

Would you like dinner, sir?

Georgia, I'm not that sick. I don't have to be in bed.

You haven't eaten. It will give you strength.

When I think of them throwing you out that doo...

Go away, Mr Murdock, Mr Miller's sick.

He's gonna be a lot sicker when I'm finished. On your feet!

Fats, listen. I just happened to drop in.

Just dropped in, with a pair of pyjamas under your arms? Leave him alone.

Take that apron off! I needed it to heat the bouillon! Shut up!

Don't you hit him and don't tear my pyjamas.

YOUR pyjamas? Do I look like I wear striped pyjamas?

YOUR pyjamas!

Just in case you get some late callers, huh?

They are not. You have a big, fat, dirty mind, Mr Murdock.

I have, huh? Dirty mind, dirty mind.

They're my brother's Christmas present. Don't give me that!

I'll show you, Mr Murdock.

Leave them. I've never seen her mad before. Maybe she'll kill him.

..for brother George. And this... for brother Gilbert. OK!

I believe you! ..for brother Gridley. OK!

For brother Gayman. OK! For brother Ambrose! OK.

And this...for my father. Now are you satisfied, Mr Murdock?!

OK on the pyjamas, but that don't explain him in your bed,

no matter whose pyjamas he's in there with!

OK, let me at him. Listen, you...

I was just giving him bouillon, you dumb dummy!

Don't you dumb, dumb, dummy me!

I was just giving him bouillon. Don't you know what bouillon is?

Aaaagh!

That's it, Fats.

Wheeler predicted Jerri'd be a star right off.

But when I told him you'd written the song, he introduced me to...

Lawrence and Eugene. Lawrence and Eugene?!

That's Larry the Fink and Edgewater Eugene.

Legs Wheeler still makes with the fancy words, huh? Fancy words with old-time action.

Legs had top slots in all the joints. I threw his out and moved mine in.

Hey! Does he still walk with a limp?

I didn't notice.

I winged him in the shinbone once. He was on crutches for months!

He's off crutches now. Fats, we're dead.

He controls the juke-box business, and that's that.

You give up too easy. I told you, he used to control the slots until I took over.

I did it before and I'll do it again!

You put my father's nightie on backwards!

Don't bother me. I'm thinking.

Don't stretch it. My father's not as FAT as you.

Clam up, will you?! I'm thinking!

Don't you yell at me any more, Mr Murdock.

OK.

So Legs Wheeler won't put Jerri's record on, huh?

No wonder. I stink!

All right, Mousey. We go!

Where to, boss? To war. A cold, hot war.

Order your wedding dress, baby.

It won't be long now. Come on!

Boss! Yeah?

Your hat! Come on.

What'll you have, gentlemen?

Who are you getting your music from?

Oh, that's a Wheeler Enterprises juke box, mister.

BOTH: Oh, yeah?

I take from Wheeler.

Who?

Whom?

I take from...Murdock.

Oh, yeah?

OH, YEAH?

# ..Blow Ooh-ii-eeeee-ah #

CRASHING

# When I hear the siren blow

# Ooo-ii-eeeee-ah

# I get those blues. #

Well, boss, I gotta hand it to you. You still got the old moxie.

Keep us out of the record business, will he? You did it. Made a star.

Yeah.

Yeah, I made a star.

That's what you wanted, wasn't it?

Yeah. That's what I wanted.

Now you got a somebody to marry. Clam up, will ya, Mousey?

Why are you getting sore? "Why are you getting sore?"

Why do you suppose I'm getting sore?!

I like music. And I'm marrying a dame with a stinking voice like that.

How many juke boxes did Mr Murdock remove?

Most of them around New York. Now he's making inroads in Boston, Baltimore...

Pittsburgh... That's far enough.

You proceed with our legal case. I know where I can find Mr Murdock.

# Here come Wednesday I'll be to myself

# My girl called Got to tell her that I'm out

# Cos Thursday is a hard-working day

# And Friday I get my pay

# Saturday morning Oh, Saturday morning

# All my tiredness They flown away

# On my morning

# In my heart

# I'm out on the stage and we play

# Sunday morning, my head is bad

# Oh it's worth it For the time that I've had

# But I've got to get my rest

# Cos money is a mess

# Saturday morning

# Oh, Saturday morning

# All my tiredness have gone away

# On my morning

# In my heart

# And I'm out on the stage and we play

# Sunday morning my head is bad

# But it's worth it For the time that I've had

# But I've got

# To get my rest

# Cos money is a mess. #

You got everything, boss? Wedding ring, licence?

Yeah. I got everything.

Have you, boss?

Why don't you give your honeymoon tickets to Miller, boss?

Wanna know something?

I loused you up with that tape recorder.

You WHAT?!

Yup.

Honest, Mousey? Did you?

Did you?

Don't kid me, now.

I soft talked, boss. Just like you figured.

I figured right, huh? They go for each other, don't they?

In a big way, boss. It's the real thing.

And now The Platters,

and their hit, You'll Never, Never Know.

KNOCK AT DOOR Who is it?

Tom Miller. Your former agent.

Come in.

Just came to say goodbye.

I should've brought a wedding present.

You did.

That's no way for a bride to act.

I thought brides acted that way.

Only with the groom.

DISTANT MUSIC: # You'll never, never know I care

# My love

# You'll never know the touch I bear

# You'll never know it

# For I won't show it Ah-ah

# Aaaah-aaaah Oh, no, you'll never, never know

# You'll never know

You'll never, never see me cry

# Wah-ohhhh

Not even when you're glancing by

# Aaahhh For I'm a-weakened When we're speaking

# Aaahhh Although you'll never, never know

# You'll never know

# No, no I know I won't reveal

# Wah-ohhhh

The way I really, truly feel

# Aaahh But if you guess it, I'll confess it

# Oh, darling, now's the time to glow

# Aaahhh Or else you'll never, never know

# You-oo-oo know

# Lord, how it is to me...

Sorry I can't stay, but I have a train on tap.

All the best, Georgie.

Can't stand to hear me sing again, huh?

You know it isn't that.

# ..You'll never know

No, no, I know I won't reveal

# Wah-ohhh

The way I really, truly feel

# Ahhh-ahhh But if you guess it

# Ahhh I'll confess it

# Oh, darling, now's the time to glow

# Ahhh Or else you'll never

# Ahhh No, you'll never

# Ahhh Oh, no, you'll never

# Ever

# Know

# You'll never know

# Oooh. #

Now here's Ray Anthony, his orchestra and Rock Around The Rock Pile.

LOUD CHEER AND WHISTLING

Thank you.

Here's the girl who turned our record into pure gold -

Miss Jerri Jordan.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING You're on.

This one's for you, Tom.

If you don't mind, I'd like to make a change to the programme.

Some of you may know how it feels to lose somebody

who you're crazy about.

# Every time you kiss me

# I get warm inside

# Every time you hold me

# There's a storm inside

# Every time you're near

# I fight the fire in me

# You inspire in me

# Such desire in me

# Just when I get both feet

# On the ground again

# You appear and send me

# Skyward bound again

# Every time it happens

# It's oh, so sublime, yes

# Every time it happens

# And it happens

# Every time

# Every time. #

APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING

Hey, Miller!

I gotta talk to you.

First, I talk to you. I just kissed your future wife.

And I'm in love with her.

Go ahead and hit me. Treat her right, or...

Tommy boy! I'll be your best man!

You're through being best man, Fats.

My car awaits, Mr Murdock.

Fats - inside, quick!

I'll kill 'em!

On stage - you'll be safe there.

How am I gonna be safe out there?

Give me your hat and coat.

He won't bump you off in front of 1,000 witnesses.

Get it on, you big ham.

One of the reasons you came here tonight

was to hear Jerri Jordan and Ray Anthony's hit, right?

ALL: Yeah!

Now, so you won't be disappointed, here is Marty "Fats" Murdock, singing Rock Around The Rock Pile.

ALL: Yeah!

Go on - you're finally in the spotlight. A big hand for Fats!

Don't be afraid - I'm calling the cops.

Thank you.

# One rock, two rocks

# Three rocks, four rocks

# Rock pile dust is on my shoes

# I'm a guy just born to lose

# When I hear a siren blow

# Ooo-oooh

# I get those blues

# Big rocks, small rocks

# Short rocks, tall rocks

# Rock pile dust, get off my shoes

# Why must my news be all bad news?

# When I hear a siren blow Ooo-oooh

# I get those blues...

OK, Legs, the silencer's on. Wait till he stops prancing around.

# ..Rock, rock

# Rock around the rock pile

# Rock, rock Rock around the rock pile

# Rock, rock, Rock around the rock pile

# That siren's got me cryin'

# Two rocks, four rocks They make more rocks...#

Don't shoot! We'll sign him. That's talent up there, you jerk!

Since when did he start performing?

Since when did you start?

I always could sing.

I thought if I was real awful, I'd get out of...owing him.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Darling?

# Darling, oh, my darling

# In that prison cell I'd be

# Thinking of the day that I'd get out

# And hold you close to me

# But what is it I always see?

# One rock, two rocks

# Three rocks, four rocks

# Rock pile dust is on my shoes... #

Well, that's the story, ladies and gentlemen.

A story about music and...

..love.

A story about music and love

and marriage.

And babysitters.

Sing for us, Uncle Fats. Sing, Uncle Fats.

Oh...

I don't know.

Ask my agent.

Let them buy your records.

So long, everybody.

Don't listen to him, folks.

I'll see you in the lobby. I'll sing anything you want.

I'm a Jim Dandy singer.

# The girl can't help it When she hears the siren blow

# Ooo-ii-eeeee-ah

# The girl can't help it. #