Janis Joplin: Little Girl Blue


Janis Joplin: Little Girl Blue

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This programme contains very strong language

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-Why sing?

-Why do you sing?

-Well, because I get to experience

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a lot of feelings, it's really a lot of fun. You get to feel all kinds of things

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that you can hardly find if you went to parties all year round

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and made it with everyone you ever wanted to.

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Because you get to feel things that are in your imagination

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and are the real truth. That's why I like music, because it's creative

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and, as it's happening, creates feelings.

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What could I feel if I attended your concert tonight?

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I'd like you to feel like standing up and jumping up and down in time with the music

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and get sweaty and just go with the music. Just go with it.

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Like, rock-and-roll's very rhythmic, that's what it's all about, you know.

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It's one, two, three, four.

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# Ye-ah

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# You thought you had found yourself a good girl

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# One who would love you and give you the world

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# Then you find out that you've been misused

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# Come to me, honey I'll do what you choose

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# I want you Well, tell mama all about it

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# You tell mama what you feel

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# Tell your mama, babe what you want

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# Tell your mama, babe what you need

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# What you want What you need

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# What you want, whoa

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# I'll make everything all right

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# I tell you When you get lonely... #

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I figure everybody does, huh?

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Because, as a matter of fact, everybody does.

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I'll tell you what you need, baby, when you get those strange thoughts in your head,

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you don't know where they came from, man. You get those strange, little weirdnesses

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happening to you, you don't know what they are.

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I'll tell you what you need.

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# You need a sweet loving mama, babe

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# Honey, a sweet talking mama, babe

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# You know, somebody to listen to you

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# Someone to want you Someone to hold you

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# Someone to need you Someone to use you

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# Someone to want you Someone to need you

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# Someone to hold you

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# You need a mama-ma-ma ma-ma mama, babe

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# Go to a mama-ma-ma-ma, yeah

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# Mama-ma-ma-ma-mama

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# Tell mama all about it

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# Tell mama all about it

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# What you need What you want

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# Anything I can do

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# Anything I can do

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# I'll be your mama, babe Yeah, your mama, babe

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# Whoa, your mama, babe Your mama, babe

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# Whoa, mama, babe Whoa, mama, babe

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# Wow! I'll make everything all right. #

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RAUCOUS CHEERING

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"Dear family, I managed to pass my 27th birthday

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"without really feeling it.

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"It's such a funny game.

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"Two years ago, I didn't even want to be in it.

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"No, that's not true. I've been looking around and I've noticed something.

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"After you reach a certain level of talent -

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"and quite a few have that talent - the deciding factor is ambition.

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"Or, as I see it, how much you really need.

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"Need to be loved and need to be proud of yourself.

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"And I guess that's what ambition is,

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"it's not all a depraved quest for position or money.

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"Maybe it's for love, lots of love.

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"Hah! Janis."

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Port Arthur - to a lot of people, it was a really good town to grow up in.

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I never thought so. Janis never thought so

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and she couldn't figure out how to make herself

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like everybody else.

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Thank goodness.

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# And if my love could take a walk... #

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Our parents, I'm not exactly sure how they actually met,

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but they started dating after mother had gone away to college

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and come back and started working.

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Daddy was a mechanical engineer, but he was able to get a job

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because at that time so many people were away fighting, you know.

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So he got a job at Texaco and he stayed there his entire working life.

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And he came home from work one day and told mother,

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"Let's do something for posterity."

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So, that's Janis being born in 1943.

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She joined the choir and they kicked her out of the choir.

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She wouldn't follow directions and they said, "You're out!"

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Like most women, Janis wanted to be beautiful and curvaceous and skinny

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like the pictures that she saw in magazines.

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And she saw herself, you know, gain weight and get chunky,

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her skin broke out and her features weren't that fine, beautiful female

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that we see in pictures everywhere.

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And so she had questions about her own desirability.

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# It don't make no difference, babe yeah

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# I better hold it now

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# I better need it, yeah

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# I better use it till the day I die... #

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She demanded to be different.

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You know, our parents had given us permission to do it

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and then weren't aware of what would happen if you did it.

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Janis was the first one in our family to find that out.

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That if you are rocking the boat

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you might get noticed and she rocked the boat as often as she could.

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She liked rocking the boat.

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The world was changing and I think that Janis's interpretation

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of what being good was included things that a lot of people

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in the South weren't yet ready to include.

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She said, "I think integration is the right thing to do."

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Well, our hometown had an active KKK chapter

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and what happened was she was harassed by some guys in her class,

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they threw pennies at her, they called her names

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and she became a target for the last three years of high school.

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She started dressing differently, wearing loafers without socks

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and tight skirts. Her hair was becoming more like a beatnik

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and still there was an aspect of her sexuality and her personality

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that was at odds. Where does she go? What does she do?

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She was pushing the limits and women weren't supposed to swear

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and women were supposed to be demure

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and not know that anything existed below their waistlines.

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I met her in high school and she wouldn't go away.

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She was always calling us up, one of us or the other

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and say, "What are you doing tonight? Where are we going?"

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She was a lot of trouble. We went to Louisiana and she would start fights,

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which we didn't want started because the Cajuns were known

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good fighters, but she got a kick out of it just playing the bad girl.

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She wasn't a bad girl, but she just liked to bait the men.

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You know, we would deny all knowledge of her

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and barely escaped with our lives.

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That made her real dangerous to take to a bar.

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I mean, she was amusing. So, we took her to the beach with us.

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She borrowed some records which were obscure.

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One of them was a record by Odetta.

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# Love

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# Oh, love Oh, careless love... #

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All of a sudden, she busted into a perfect imitation of Odetta

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on the record and everybody was just stunned.

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This little troublesome kid, you know, can sing that well.

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# Oh, love Oh, love

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# Oh, careless love

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# Oh, love, oh, love Oh, careless love

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# Well, love Oh-oh, love

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# Oh, careless love... #

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This particular night, Janis said let's go see this wonderful Austin

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you're always talking about.

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So, we pulled in at 5:30 in the morning

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and you could hear music...

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..and it wasn't recorded music, it was live music

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and Janis grabbed my arm and she said, "Jack, I'm going to like it here."

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Well, that's when I discovered that I had an incredibly loud voice.

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So, I started singing blues, because that was always what I liked.

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And, you know, I got a bluegrass band,

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played hillbilly music in Austin, Texas, for free beer.

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I used to sing in folk clubs just for goofs.

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We called ourselves the Waller Creek Boys...

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..and instantly Janis became one of the boys.

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People just stared open-mouthed

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and she was not ever accepted, really,

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except by the folk community.

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Growing up, her peers picked on her and bullied her

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and by the time she got to Austin and by the time I knew her,

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she had already been profoundly hurt over and over.

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And so in Austin, it was the same way.

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Every year, the fraternities held a contest

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and people could nominate someone to be ugliest man

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and someone nominated Janis and all these jerks voted for her...

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..and it crushed her.

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Saddest thing I ever saw, you know. It really was.

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Till that point, I'd never seen Janis cry.

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Janis had a very tough exterior.

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But it really got her bad

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and I said, "Janis, they don't mean anything to you.

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"They're...They're not even in your class."

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It became increasingly harder to fit into a group of angry,

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angry men who liked to pick on her.

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Even though she ran around with a tight group of friends who

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were into books and ideas, she needed to go out to where

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the people were that wrote those books.

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Where the people were that sang those songs.

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Where does she go? What does she do?

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# I just had to get out of Texas, baby

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# Lord, it was bringing me down... #

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When did you come to San Francisco?

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In about '63 was when I couldn't stand Texas any more

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and I went to California, because it's a lot freer

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and you can do what you want to do and nobody bugs you.

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'15,000 San Franciscans protest segregation in Birmingham.

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'Negro and white citizens marching in unity for equality in San Francisco.'

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We used to all hang out at a bar called the Anxious Asp

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on Green Street, North Beach.

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We went to a party one night and, you know, with a little bit of wine

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and a little bit of, you know, whatever,

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We kind of got to talking and two weeks later she moved in with me.

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Sometime we went down to Monterey

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and she would sing in the hootenannies

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and she would win tickets for us to get to the main arena.

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One time, we went there and there was Bob Dylan, her idol.

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And she walks up to him and she said, "Oh, Bob. I just love you!

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"You know, I'm going to be famous one day." He said, "Yeah.

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"We're all going to be famous." I'll never forget that.

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SHE LAUGHS

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She definitely felt the blues.

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Bessie Smith and all the blues singers, she loved those people.

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And I think she emulated them in the sense of wanting to be like them.

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You know, to have the pain.

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I guess that's why she drank like she did and took drugs

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because that's all part of the whole picture.

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She definitely needed people to tell her how great she was

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and she needed that stroking all the time.

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I don't think she was with girls to shock people, I think

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she was with girls because that's what she felt at the moment.

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And I think she was totally in a conflict all the time with herself.

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Constantly.

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And she was unhappy, she was quite unhappy and I think on the stage,

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it made her feel that she was somebody, you know.

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That she had something to offer.

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I said, "I just think this is not working for both of us,

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"you want to go off and do things with other people

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"and I'm not strong enough to handle that."

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She got with this English fella and they were into shooting up

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and stuff like that and that was never my style.

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You know, I could just never get into that.

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Janis was in North Beach and she developed an intense relationship

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with Peter de Blanc, then Janis got into methedrine.

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Janis told me that they were living in that building

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behind Tommy's joint

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and had not a stick of furniture

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and Peter was just sitting there for hours on end

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throwing a Super Ball against the wall and catching it...

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..and she was skin and bones.

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She used - overused - lost weight,

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got so strung out that her group of friends

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held a party and they passed a hat to get enough money

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to put her on a Greyhound bus and send her back home.

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# A woman left lonely... #

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She and Peter decided that they both needed to get their lives cleaned up

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and would go to their home towns and get their lives together

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and then they'd get together and get married.

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# She'll do crazy things, yeah-eh

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# On lonely occasions... #

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"Dear Peter, well, I'm home now.

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"I have your picture on the desk where I do my homework

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"and everyone in the family has seen it at least three times.

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"Everyone agrees you're handsome,

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"I really love you.

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"In attempting to find a semblance of a pattern in my life,

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"I find I have gone out with great vigour every time

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"and gotten really fucked up.

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"All I did was be wild, drink constantly, fucked people, sang.

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"In San Francisco, kind of wanting to find an old man and be happy,

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"but I didn't. I just found Linda and became a meth freak.

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"Jesus fucking Christ, I want to be happy so fucking bad."

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# ..for granted, Lord, yeah

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# Honey, she doesn't understand

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# No, no... #

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He came home at one point and met the family

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and asked our father formally for her hand in marriage.

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"Well, now it's Saturday and your letter didn't come.

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"So, I'm very sad and moping around the house and mother's worried.

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"Baby, what's happening?

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"You could really be hurting me and, hell, I couldn't tell.

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"Am I still happy?

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"Do I still have you?"

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She was embarrassed that he wasn't going to show up

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after she had told her mom and dad that he was.

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He was evidently living with a woman who had gotten pregnant

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and Janis only discovered that when she happened to call him

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and this woman answered the telephone.

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Did you ever go back to Port Arthur?

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I went back once, it was a bummer.

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I ain't going back again! No, it's no good.

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Chet asked me to come and see his new band and that's when

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I heard that Big Brother was auditioning women.

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So, I went by his house and said, you know, "I'm going to go home

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"I can ask about Janis, if you like."

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And she found out that I was there and we spent the whole day

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talking about what was going on since she had left

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and we should go and see a rock and roll band

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and there's one playing around the corner.

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Didn't have anything to drink because she was sober

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and we listened to, I think, two songs and she turned to me

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and she said, "That's what I want to do!" So I said, "OK. Let's go figure this out."

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He said, "I'm not going to go and take you until you tell your parents."

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He waited in the car while Janis went in to tell our parents.

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Janis went in and said she was going to Austin for the weekend and left

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and went to San Francisco.

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# I guess I'm going to make it somehow

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# But you made nothing with me darling... #

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"Mother and Dad, with a great deal of trepidation,

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"I bring the news -

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"I'm in San Francisco.

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"Now, let me explain.

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"Chet Helms is an old friend, now he's Mr Big in SF.

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"He encouraged me to come out,

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"it seems the whole city had gone rock and roll and it has.

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"And he assured me fame and fortune, so I came.

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"I'm so sorry.

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"My love to Mike and Laura. Love, Janis."

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MUSIC: Down On Me by Big Brother and The Holding Company

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# Looks like everybody in this whole round world

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# They're down on me Come on... #

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I would pick her up and I'd drive her back to where she was staying.

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I mean, she was always like, "I don't know whether this

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"is going to work out. I probably... I should go back to Texas.

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"I don't know if I should do this." She had a lot of misgivings.

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She was very afraid of drugs.

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She said, I don't ever want to see anybody shooting drugs.

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I can't stand to see that, because if I see that,

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it's just going to take her out so much.

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She came out to San Francisco and had this coffee-house career.

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She almost died that time, she lost all this weight

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and she went back to Texas

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and, you know, her mother said, "If you ever go back out there again, you're going to die."

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# When you see a hand that's held out towards you

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# Give it some love... #

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-Did your parents encourage you to sing at all?

-Oh, no, no, no.

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They wanted me to be a schoolteacher, you know.

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Like all parents.

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But I just started singing when I was about 17.

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I listened to a lot of music first, you know,

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and one day I started singing and I could sing. It was like,

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it was a surprise.

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To say the least.

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# Said jack o'diamonds Said jack o'diamonds

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# Whoa-oh, I know you of old

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# Honey, you robbed me out of my silver

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# And out of all my gold... #

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"Dear Mother and Dad, Daddy brought up the college issue, which is good,

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"because I probably would have continued avoiding it till it went away.

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"I don't think I can go back now.

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"I don't know all the reasons, but I just feel this is a truer feeling, true to me.

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"I don't feel like I'm lying now."

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# Now see the cuckoo she's a cruel bird

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# And she warbles when she flies... #

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"I have to see this through first. If I don't, I'd always be

0:21:440:21:46

"thinking about singing and being good and known

0:21:460:21:49

"and feel like I cheated myself, you know."

0:21:490:21:51

# Well, say goodbye Well, say goodbye

0:21:510:21:54

# Ooh-hoo-hoo... #

0:21:540:21:56

"Weak as it is, I apologise for being so just plain bad at the family.

0:21:580:22:03

"I'm just sorry.

0:22:030:22:06

"Love, Janis."

0:22:060:22:08

Folk blues, you know. I was a folk singer, you know,

0:22:110:22:14

and sang blues mostly. Country blues, old-time blues, slow...

0:22:140:22:19

-Didn't you have a job soldering once?

-Soldering?

0:22:190:22:22

No, a keypunch operator.

0:22:220:22:24

I was a waitress in a bowling alley once, too.

0:22:240:22:27

Playing is the life, the most just fun there is.

0:22:270:22:31

Feeling things and really getting into it. That's fun.

0:22:310:22:35

# Amazing Grace

0:22:350:22:37

# Well, how sweet the sound

0:22:370:22:40

# That saved a sinning wretch like me... #

0:22:400:22:43

At that time, there was definitely a sense of camaraderie.

0:22:430:22:48

If you knew the Grateful Dead had a house on Ashbury, you know,

0:22:480:22:51

it wouldn't be unlikely that if you were in the neighbourhood,

0:22:510:22:55

you'd just drop by and hang out with those guys

0:22:550:22:57

and smoke a joint or something like that.

0:22:570:23:00

# A sinning wretch like me... #

0:23:000:23:03

We were all, sort of, riding the same wave, in a sense.

0:23:030:23:06

All part of the same scene and all shared, in some ways, the same values

0:23:060:23:10

that we were part of this counterculture revolutionary music thing

0:23:100:23:15

that was going to, you know, change the world.

0:23:150:23:17

# Na-na-na-na Na-na-naaa, woo... #

0:23:170:23:22

She was just funny, unassuming, sexy,

0:23:240:23:29

and sort of a, a kind of like,

0:23:290:23:32

almost a sort of Huck Finn innocence to her.

0:23:320:23:34

The absolute child-woman ideal of The Haight.

0:23:340:23:38

Well, I met Janis as a romantic interest

0:23:380:23:42

for one of my bandmates, Pigpen, Ron McKernan.

0:23:420:23:46

We called him the Mighty Pig.

0:23:460:23:48

It was an on again, off again little affair that they had.

0:23:480:23:52

And on the nights that Janis would come over and visit,

0:23:520:23:56

I got very little sleep because Janis was not real quiet in the rack.

0:23:560:24:02

So, all night long, it would be, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

0:24:020:24:05

All that kind of stuff. I mean, endlessly.

0:24:050:24:09

"Isn't Pigpen cute?

0:24:090:24:11

"They make Pigpen T-shirts now with his picture on it for fans.

0:24:110:24:14

"I have one in red.

0:24:140:24:16

"Those people are all friends of mine, aren't they amazing?

0:24:160:24:19

"The people with stars after their names are members of the band.

0:24:190:24:22

"I'm in the back, on the left, really an amazing picture.

0:24:220:24:26

"They weren't dressed up, they looked that way all the time.

0:24:260:24:29

"Now, taken in perspective, I'm not so far out at all, eh?"

0:24:290:24:32

There was a party, there was a party in the city

0:24:400:24:42

in an apartment on California Street.

0:24:420:24:47

Someone opened this bottle of this stuff that is called Cold Duck.

0:24:470:24:50

-You don't see it around much.

-Sparkling wine.

-Sparkling wine.

0:24:500:24:54

And it started to go around the room and people were taking chugs of it

0:24:540:24:57

and Janis took a big swig of it and someone said to Janis, "Oh, man.

0:24:570:25:01

"You must really want to get high."

0:25:010:25:03

And she said, "What?!"

0:25:030:25:05

And someone said, "Yeah, there is, like, 68 hits of acid in that bottle."

0:25:050:25:10

Anyway, she ran into the bathroom and tried to throw up.

0:25:100:25:14

# They don't forget it Love is their whole... #

0:25:140:25:20

But she got very high anyway and we went from this party to The Fillmore.

0:25:200:25:25

# Have a little tenderness

0:25:250:25:27

# Yeah

0:25:270:25:29

# All you got to do is

0:25:290:25:30

# Everybody just has to

0:25:300:25:32

# Get on up, get on up

0:25:320:25:34

# Get on up, get on up

0:25:340:25:35

# Now get on up

0:25:350:25:37

# I got to... #

0:25:370:25:39

And Otis Redding was, I think,

0:25:390:25:40

in his second night and it was his second show. They did two shows.

0:25:400:25:43

So there weren't a lot of people there.

0:25:430:25:45

And I remember sitting with her.

0:25:450:25:47

We sat down in the middle of the floor

0:25:470:25:50

and Otis Redding came out with his band.

0:25:500:25:53

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

0:25:530:25:55

# You got to, got to, got to... #

0:25:550:25:57

I think when she saw him and saw the way he moved

0:25:580:26:01

and how he interpreted a song, I really think

0:26:010:26:03

it very much affected her.

0:26:030:26:04

I mean, literally, she'd start doing this, "Gotta, gotta, gotta,"

0:26:040:26:08

she stole that.

0:26:080:26:09

# Got to, got to, got to

0:26:090:26:12

# Oh... #

0:26:140:26:15

Billie Holiday, Aretha Franklin, they are so subtle,

0:26:150:26:19

they can milk you with two notes.

0:26:190:26:23

They could go no further than from A to B

0:26:230:26:26

and they could make you feel like they've told you the whole universe.

0:26:260:26:30

You know? And Otis, oh, Otis.

0:26:300:26:33

My man. But, I mean, I don't know that yet.

0:26:330:26:36

All I've got now is strength but maybe if I keep singing,

0:26:360:26:41

maybe I'll get it. That's what I think.

0:26:410:26:43

In the very beginning, she didn't take over as,

0:26:480:26:52

"I'm the singer, I'm the lead singer."

0:26:520:26:54

She really tried to integrate into the band and be part of it.

0:26:540:26:58

The big turning point was Monterey Pop.

0:26:580:27:01

A very good friend of mine said,

0:27:040:27:07

"You've got to come to the Monterey Pop Festival.

0:27:070:27:10

"There's never been a pop festival."

0:27:100:27:12

You know you're going to have a great time - it's a weekend,

0:27:140:27:17

it's in Monterey, California.

0:27:170:27:19

Simon and Garfunkel were going to perform there.

0:27:190:27:22

That's all I knew about.

0:27:220:27:23

So I came there with my khaki pants and a tennis sweater.

0:27:240:27:30

And...I was astonished by everything that I saw.

0:27:320:27:37

I got a call from Lou Adler, who was the producer of Monterey Pop.

0:27:380:27:42

He was also the manager of the Mamas & the Papas.

0:27:420:27:46

He told me, "There's a whole new Monterey Pop Festival.

0:27:460:27:49

"Will Big Brother come?"

0:27:490:27:51

I saw the future.

0:27:520:27:53

They offered me a number and I went for it.

0:28:050:28:07

I didn't give a damn about the money.

0:28:070:28:09

I knew that this was going to be a monster.

0:28:090:28:13

So I vividly remember sitting in the grounds there, being

0:28:180:28:22

surrounded by this unusual crowd and then they announced the group.

0:28:220:28:28

Three or four years ago,

0:28:280:28:30

I ran into a chick in Texas by the name of Janis Joplin...

0:28:300:28:35

APPLAUSE

0:28:350:28:38

..and I heard her sing and Janis and I hitchhiked to the West Coast.

0:28:380:28:41

A lot of things have gone down since that time but it gives me

0:28:420:28:46

a great deal of pride to present, today, the finished product

0:28:460:28:51

of three or four years of work - Big Brother and The Holding Company.

0:28:510:28:55

CHEERING

0:28:550:28:56

# Knock you, rock you

0:28:560:28:58

# We're going to sock it to you now... #

0:28:580:29:00

Cass was sitting there in one of the rows

0:29:000:29:03

and I kind of had an eye on her during Janis

0:29:030:29:06

because they had been

0:29:060:29:07

a little critical because they were Los Angelenos.

0:29:070:29:11

And the Los Angelenos

0:29:110:29:13

were somewhat critical of the San Franciscans,

0:29:130:29:16

in terms of the bands.

0:29:160:29:17

And so I kind of wanted to watch her when Janis sang.

0:29:170:29:21

# Mmmm

0:29:240:29:28

# Sitting down by my window

0:29:280:29:32

# Just looking out at the rain

0:29:320:29:37

# Something came along

0:29:440:29:46

# Honey, grabbed a hold of me

0:29:460:29:49

# And it felt like a ball and chain... #

0:29:490:29:53

SHE SCREAMS # Last time

0:29:550:29:56

# And I say oh-whoa-whoa

0:29:590:30:03

# Honey, this can't be

0:30:030:30:06

# This can't be in vain

0:30:060:30:11

# No, no, no, no, no

0:30:110:30:14

# No, no

0:30:140:30:15

# And I say oh-whoa-whoa

0:30:160:30:21

# Honey, this can't be

0:30:210:30:23

# B-b-b-b-b-be, be, be, be

0:30:230:30:26

# In vain

0:30:260:30:28

# No, no No, no, no, no

0:30:280:30:30

# Oh

0:30:320:30:33

# And I want someone that can tell me

0:30:330:30:37

# Come on

0:30:370:30:38

# Tell me why

0:30:380:30:40

# Oh, tell me why

0:30:400:30:42

# Oh, people tell me why love

0:30:420:30:44

# Honey, why love is like

0:30:440:30:47

# Well, it's like a ball and

0:30:470:30:51

# And a chai-ai-ai-ai-ain. #

0:30:510:30:58

CHEERING

0:30:590:31:02

Once she caught real recognition at the Monterey Pop Festival, I think

0:31:340:31:38

she began to see what the possibilities were

0:31:380:31:42

and the possibilities were somewhat over-the-top.

0:31:420:31:45

"Dear Mother, at last a tranquil day and time to write all the good news.

0:31:500:31:56

"I'm now safely moved into my new room in our beautiful house

0:31:560:31:59

"in the country.

0:31:590:32:01

"Gosh, I can't seem to find anything else to talk about.

0:32:010:32:04

"This band is my whole life now.

0:32:040:32:07

"I really am totally committed and I dig it.

0:32:070:32:10

"I wanted to send you these clippings.

0:32:100:32:12

"Since Monterey, all this has come about.

0:32:120:32:15

"Did Port Arthur News have anything on these? If so, please send.

0:32:150:32:19

"I just may be a star some day.

0:32:190:32:22

"You know, it's funny, as it gets closer and more probable, being

0:32:220:32:25

"a star is really losing its meaning but whatever "it" means, I'm ready.

0:32:250:32:30

"Things are going so well for me personally.

0:32:300:32:32

"I have a boyfriend, he's head of Country Joe and the Fish,

0:32:320:32:36

"a band from Berkeley.

0:32:360:32:37

"He's a Capricorn like me and is 25 and, so far,

0:32:370:32:41

"we're getting along fine.

0:32:410:32:42

"Everyone in the rock scene just thinks it's the cutest thing

0:32:420:32:45

"they've ever seen and it is rather cute, actually."

0:32:450:32:48

We were never in love with each other. No.

0:32:500:32:54

No, there was no sizzle going on.

0:32:550:32:58

We were good friends. We were both control freaks, both lead singers.

0:32:580:33:03

There was a maternal, feminine side of her

0:33:030:33:07

that never was allowed to grow.

0:33:070:33:10

She was really trying hard, you know?

0:33:100:33:13

And her mother was coming to town.

0:33:130:33:15

She wanted to cook chow mein for her mother.

0:33:150:33:17

She was so worried that her mother would like her apartment and

0:33:170:33:21

Seidman had just made that poster of her naked with the necklaces.

0:33:210:33:26

We put them all up on the wall.

0:33:260:33:27

We went out to visit her, the summer of love, as a family.

0:33:300:33:34

My brother and I were the only teenagers

0:33:340:33:36

who probably went out with their parents.

0:33:360:33:38

We're going to see Janis,

0:33:380:33:39

we're walking down the street, she's showing us around.

0:33:390:33:42

I was so excited.

0:33:420:33:44

Then we went to The Avalon Ballroom

0:33:440:33:46

and Big Brother was not on the bill that night.

0:33:460:33:50

But they went on and did three or four songs.

0:33:500:33:53

Moby Grape let them have a set because Janis' parents were there.

0:33:530:33:56

When we were getting ready to leave,

0:33:580:34:01

I remember overhearing one of my parents tell the other one,

0:34:010:34:05

"You know, dear, I don't think we're going to have

0:34:050:34:08

"much influence any more."

0:34:080:34:10

I think that her own telling of her story was about the ability

0:34:160:34:22

to make your life fit your values.

0:34:220:34:25

And she found that opportunity in the music world of the 1960s.

0:34:250:34:30

The social acceptance that she'd always wanted was there

0:34:350:34:39

and it just propelled her forward.

0:34:390:34:42

# Come on, come on come on, come on, come on

0:34:420:34:47

# Didn't I make you feel

0:34:470:34:50

# Like you were the only one man? #

0:34:500:34:55

It felt so fresh and so different for someone who'd been an outcast.

0:34:550:35:01

# A woman possibly can?

0:35:010:35:03

# Honey, you know I did

0:35:030:35:05

# And each time I tell myself that I, well

0:35:050:35:08

# I think I've had enough

0:35:080:35:10

# I'm going to show you, baby that a woman can be tough

0:35:100:35:15

# I want you to come on, come on come on, come on

0:35:150:35:21

# And take it

0:35:210:35:22

# Take another little piece of my heart now, baby

0:35:220:35:27

# Break it

0:35:270:35:28

# Break another little bit of my heart

0:35:280:35:31

# Oh, yeah

0:35:310:35:33

# Have a

0:35:330:35:34

# Have another little piece of my heart now, baby

0:35:340:35:38

# You know you got it if it makes you feel good. #

0:35:390:35:44

You got another manager, Albert Grossman,

0:35:450:35:48

who also manages Bob Dylan.

0:35:480:35:51

Yeah. He's better.

0:35:510:35:52

"Dear Mother, as of yesterday afternoon, we are

0:35:540:35:57

"officially with Columbia. Wow, I'm so lucky.

0:35:570:36:01

"25, 25, 25, it's all too incredible.

0:36:010:36:05

"I just fumbled around being a mixed-up kid

0:36:050:36:08

"and then fell into this.

0:36:080:36:09

"Finally it looks like something is going to work for me. Incredible."

0:36:090:36:13

"February 20th, 1968. Dear Mother, our record is a success story

0:36:220:36:27

"in itself.

0:36:270:36:28

"We've got a gold album in three days.

0:36:280:36:30

"And the most fantastic thing of all happened at the Rose Bowl.

0:36:300:36:34

"The cops wouldn't let the kids off the grass near us and,

0:36:340:36:36

"all of a sudden, they broke, just like a wave,

0:36:360:36:39

"and swarmed onto the field.

0:36:390:36:41

"They were pulling on my clothes, my beads,

0:36:410:36:43

"calling, 'Janis, Janis, we love you.' "

0:36:430:36:45

# Have another little piece of my heart now, baby

0:36:460:36:50

# You know you got it if it makes you feel good. #

0:36:520:36:56

She had a sense that, as long as people gave her the stage,

0:36:580:37:02

she would be a winner.

0:37:020:37:03

CHEERING

0:37:050:37:07

Sit down, boys. Come on, boys. Let's sit down.

0:37:120:37:16

There we are, sitting down.

0:37:160:37:18

Fantastic.

0:37:200:37:21

Is there a San Francisco sound? And, if so, what is it

0:37:220:37:26

and how did it start?

0:37:260:37:27

The thing that makes what they call the San Francisco

0:37:270:37:30

music scene, as far as I'm concerned,

0:37:300:37:32

is, like, first of all, the freedom to create here.

0:37:320:37:34

You know, for some reason, like, a lot of musicians ended up here

0:37:340:37:37

and ended up together and were at complete freedom to do whatever

0:37:370:37:40

they wanted to until they came up with their own kind of music.

0:37:400:37:43

What do you think, Sam?

0:37:430:37:45

SHE CACKLES

0:37:450:37:47

That's what we call love music, baby.

0:37:550:37:57

# Had no chance to say I love you and I need you, baby. #

0:37:590:38:05

APPLAUSE

0:38:050:38:06

-Not bad.

-LAUGHTER

0:38:100:38:13

Well, here we are, together again at last, by popular demand.

0:38:130:38:15

How are you?

0:38:150:38:17

'I don't know what it was, we sort of hit it off right away.'

0:38:170:38:19

Was she romantically attached to me? I would hope so.

0:38:190:38:24

May I light your fire, my child?

0:38:240:38:25

LAUGHTER

0:38:250:38:27

-I guess not.

-Apparently not, no.

0:38:280:38:30

LAUGHTER

0:38:300:38:32

Well, I would have bet against it myself.

0:38:320:38:34

We were good friends and, I will level with you, we may or may not...

0:38:340:38:39

have ended up...

0:38:390:38:41

intimate.

0:38:410:38:43

I just, you know... My memory is so bad.

0:38:440:38:47

Or so good.

0:38:490:38:51

We lived in the Chelsea Hotel while we were making Cheap Thrills

0:38:530:38:58

and while we were touring

0:38:580:38:59

and we lived in Los Angeles. About half the time we were in

0:38:590:39:02

Hollywood and half the time we were at the Chelsea Hotel in Manhattan.

0:39:020:39:06

And it was just so much fun. You know, we would get together

0:39:060:39:10

and do heroin at these people's rooms.

0:39:100:39:14

And just kind of not nod off or go to sleep or something

0:39:140:39:19

but just have really nice, mellow conversations.

0:39:190:39:23

# If you believe in magic

0:39:230:39:26

# Don't be afraid

0:39:260:39:28

# Afraid to use it, baby

0:39:280:39:29

# No, no, no, no, no, no

0:39:290:39:31

# Come on home

0:39:310:39:32

# Dressed in mystic silk

0:39:320:39:35

# Or wearing rich rags and waste

0:39:350:39:38

# Darling, please come on back to me

0:39:380:39:41

# I know we can be

0:39:410:39:43

# Part of a magic race. #

0:39:430:39:47

She liked New York and it had that tombstone quality for her

0:39:470:39:51

so I was going to do a film with her because I really liked her a lot

0:39:510:39:55

and she was recording stuff with the band

0:39:550:39:59

and I would go and listen and film them.

0:39:590:40:03

SHE SCREAMS

0:40:030:40:06

I was interested mostly in how

0:40:060:40:08

she understood to control her singing because her singing

0:40:080:40:13

had this thing of when she'd lose it,

0:40:130:40:16

she would shout and scream.

0:40:160:40:18

And sometimes that was very effective but it couldn't be...

0:40:180:40:23

the music had to have something more to it than that.

0:40:230:40:27

SHE SCREAMS

0:40:270:40:29

I think it's a real good...

0:40:340:40:37

-Let's do Summertime.

-OK, let's go.

0:40:390:40:42

Over to you.

0:40:420:40:43

THEY PLAY "SUMMERTIME"

0:40:430:40:46

She goes...

0:40:580:40:59

# Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

0:40:590:41:01

# Don't you cry... #

0:41:010:41:02

# No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no

0:41:020:41:05

# Don't you cry. #

0:41:050:41:07

-..at the very end of the song.

-In the song, last chord of the song.

0:41:070:41:09

The first G major arpeggio, I think, is wrong. When she says "cry".

0:41:090:41:14

-What you want? Six arpeggios of G minor?

-G minor.

0:41:140:41:17

Because it changes to G minor for two after that.

0:41:170:41:19

It's already in the major, he's trying to get it in the minor.

0:41:190:41:22

-Why don't you do four G minors?

-THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

0:41:220:41:25

We can do it either way.

0:41:250:41:27

I mean, they're both valid approaches

0:41:270:41:29

but I think... It's ten o'clock.

0:41:290:41:31

I think, by four, we could have Summertime.

0:41:310:41:34

Let's say we'll be done by 12 o'clock, 1 o'clock,

0:41:340:41:36

and we can spend a few hours doing something else.

0:41:360:41:39

If you all voted to do a bunch of them tonight, that's OK with me

0:41:390:41:42

but I personally don't agree with it.

0:41:420:41:44

Playing it and listening to it back

0:41:440:41:46

ain't going to teach us a damn thing.

0:41:460:41:47

I know exactly what that song sounds like and I've racked my brain

0:41:470:41:50

to try and get ideas for it, as I'm sure everybody else has.

0:41:500:41:53

...G major and G minor when you sing, "Don't you cry."

0:41:530:41:55

How do you know what it...? Turn that thing off.

0:41:550:41:57

OK, all right.

0:41:570:41:59

Don't go away.

0:41:590:42:01

MUSIC: Summertime

0:42:010:42:04

# Oh, one

0:42:370:42:42

# Of these mornings

0:42:420:42:44

# Child, you'll rise up singing, babe

0:42:440:42:52

# I said you're going to go

0:42:540:42:56

# Honey, going to sprea-ea-ead your wings

0:42:560:43:00

# Honey, take

0:43:010:43:03

# Take to the sky-y

0:43:030:43:07

# Lord, the sky

0:43:080:43:11

# But till that morning

0:43:110:43:18

# Honey, n-no nothing's gonna harm you, babe

0:43:180:43:25

# I said, honey nothing's ever gonna let you down

0:43:250:43:28

# Oh, it just wouldn't do it

0:43:280:43:30

# Hush

0:43:300:43:31

# Baby, baby, baby, baby

0:43:310:43:33

# Baby, baby, baby

0:43:330:43:35

# No, no, no, no, no, no don't you cry

0:43:360:43:39

# No. #

0:43:480:43:52

APPLAUSE

0:43:530:43:55

"Dear Family, lots of trouble in the band.

0:43:580:44:01

"Most of them revolving around the fact that I think I'm hot shit,

0:44:010:44:04

"as I'm told by everyone from Albert down, and the band is sloppy."

0:44:040:44:08

When she came into the band, Peter was the leader of the band,

0:44:080:44:11

the bass player.

0:44:110:44:13

And James was the mythic, iconic, you know, beautiful figure.

0:44:130:44:17

He represented the band.

0:44:170:44:19

And then here comes Janis and when she joined the band,

0:44:210:44:24

she became both of those things.

0:44:240:44:26

They had a very complicated reaction to her fame.

0:44:260:44:29

There was a cadre of hangers-on

0:44:350:44:37

that sort of insulated her from her band, from what I could see.

0:44:370:44:41

And it was just a matter of time

0:44:410:44:43

until somebody tried to polish her up and make a big star out of her.

0:44:430:44:48

It's crazy now to think back

0:44:480:44:50

that we signed our management agreement with the guy.

0:44:500:44:53

But I think from the very get-go, there was a sense that he was

0:44:530:44:57

not a big fan of ours, that he really was into Janis.

0:44:570:45:01

But we wanted to believe that he would work for the whole band.

0:45:010:45:06

And the guys in the band were powerless.

0:45:060:45:09

No-one had the ability to stop that from happening.

0:45:090:45:12

She was a singularity and she attracted that kind of attention.

0:45:120:45:16

She cared about Big Brother's career, she loved those guys,

0:45:180:45:22

but there was something that she saw that was beyond that.

0:45:220:45:27

And if she didn't do it, she'd never know if she could.

0:45:270:45:30

"Dear Family, so we're back in California for two more weeks.

0:45:320:45:36

"After that begins my hardest task.

0:45:360:45:39

"I told you, remember, that I was leaving Big Brother

0:45:390:45:42

"and going to do a thing on my own.

0:45:420:45:44

"There'll be a whole lot of pressure cos of the vibes

0:45:440:45:46

"created by my leaving Big Brother, and also, at just how big I am now."

0:45:460:45:51

Nobody ever saw her wearing those kind of clothes,

0:45:560:45:58

but that's the kind of clothes she had when she came from Texas.

0:45:580:46:02

If someone said, you know, "What did you learn from Janis?

0:46:020:46:04

"What did she teach you?"

0:46:040:46:05

If I had to say it in a sentence, it's emotional honesty,

0:46:050:46:09

and the price of not emotional honesty.

0:46:090:46:11

She started to lose that.

0:46:130:46:15

She started to become something that people expected of her.

0:46:150:46:18

She started to become a caricature of what she was,

0:46:180:46:21

and play it for people, you know?

0:46:210:46:24

And I think that hurt her in some way.

0:46:240:46:27

"Take this lonely heart from one lonely girl.

0:46:280:46:31

"Reaching too high, babe, can't help from getting burned."

0:46:310:46:35

Everything she ever wrote, pretty much, is autobiographical,

0:46:350:46:39

and I thought the "Reaching too high, babe", too, was right...

0:46:390:46:42

This was done right at the time when she's leaving Big Brother.

0:46:420:46:45

She knows she's kind of going to go for some higher level of fame

0:46:460:46:51

and stardom and, you know, and she might fall on her face.

0:46:510:46:54

She knew that it might not work out, she might get burned.

0:46:540:46:57

The fallout for James and Peter and David was significant,

0:47:060:47:12

because Janis asked Sam to come with her to her new band.

0:47:120:47:15

I loved Jan, I loved her all the way through, you know.

0:47:180:47:21

The first time I ever saw her, you know,

0:47:210:47:24

she just had this attitude that I liked.

0:47:240:47:26

It wasn't belligerent but it was non-compromising.

0:47:260:47:30

MUSIC: Maybe by Janis Joplin

0:47:320:47:33

She's loud, she's... You know, one of these loud Texas women.

0:47:350:47:39

She was real smart and...considerate most of the time.

0:47:390:47:43

We both had real quick tempers.

0:47:430:47:46

# Ma-a-a-a-aybe

0:47:500:47:52

# Oh, if I could pray

0:47:540:47:56

# And I try, dear

0:47:560:47:58

# You might come back home

0:47:580:48:00

# Home to me... #

0:48:000:48:02

They called me up to play with Janis,

0:48:020:48:05

so they sent me a ticket and I went to New York.

0:48:050:48:08

I went there, opened the door, and this girl had on a bra

0:48:090:48:14

and some panties and said, "Hi, I'm Janis."

0:48:140:48:17

I said, "Hi, I'm in the right place."

0:48:170:48:19

HE CHUCKLES

0:48:190:48:21

# Maybe...

0:48:210:48:24

# Maybe, maybe, maybe... #

0:48:240:48:26

When she started singing, I said, "Damn!

0:48:260:48:29

"Are you sure she white?!"

0:48:290:48:31

Now, you quit Big Brother and The Holding Company.

0:48:350:48:37

Why did you do that?

0:48:370:48:39

Well, just because, uh...

0:48:390:48:42

It was sort of just time for us to, I think,

0:48:430:48:45

-to go on and do something else, you know what I mean?

-Mm-hm.

0:48:450:48:48

Like, you grow together, you know, a certain way

0:48:480:48:52

and you sort of exhaust each other.

0:48:520:48:55

You exhaust the good that you can do for each other,

0:48:550:48:57

and it was just time for each of us to start growing from...

0:48:570:49:00

In other directions, do you know what I mean?

0:49:000:49:03

'I think you really grow as a musician,

0:49:040:49:06

'and that's what we're, after all, we're supposed to be all about.

0:49:060:49:09

'Just trying to get better at what we do, you know?'

0:49:090:49:12

San Francisco was the first place, the first community,

0:49:160:49:20

where Janis really felt at home.

0:49:200:49:23

When she left Big Brother, she lost it.

0:49:230:49:25

The pressure to succeed was huge,

0:49:580:50:00

and she was carrying around this weight.

0:50:000:50:03

You know, she didn't know how to lead a band,

0:50:110:50:13

that's one of the reasons it was a mistake, you know.

0:50:130:50:15

She didn't know how to lead the band, and she was in charge,

0:50:150:50:18

so she had people putting together that band for her,

0:50:180:50:22

along with a lot of other strange people

0:50:220:50:25

who were appointed band directors, you know.

0:50:250:50:28

It wasn't working.

0:50:280:50:30

There were changes in personnel, and none of it solved anything.

0:50:320:50:37

We went to Europe only, like, two months into touring.

0:50:370:50:42

She's there with a new band which doesn't know what the hell

0:50:420:50:45

it's supposed to be.

0:50:450:50:46

-JANIS JOPLIN:

-OK, you guys.

0:50:460:50:48

COUGHING AND CLAPPING IN AUDIENCE

0:50:480:50:50

# Oh... #

0:50:500:50:51

You know what?

0:50:510:50:53

No. I'm... I'm making a problem.

0:50:530:50:55

We played in Frankfurt and Janis was freaking out.

0:50:570:51:02

We peeped out the curtain and all of these dudes were sitting there

0:51:020:51:06

with their little haircuts, like you put a bowl on their head

0:51:060:51:10

and cut around the bowl.

0:51:100:51:11

-JANIS JOPLIN:

-Is everybody ready?!

0:51:130:51:14

But we felt like playing.

0:51:140:51:15

We said, "Hey, man, we play the show.

0:51:150:51:18

"If y'all want to boogie, come on up here with us and boogie."

0:51:180:51:22

MUSIC: Raise Your Hand by Janis Joplin

0:51:220:51:23

# If there's something you need

0:51:290:51:31

# Hon, that you've never ever, ever had

0:51:320:51:34

# I know you never had it

0:51:340:51:36

# Oh, honey don't you just sit there crying

0:51:360:51:39

# Don't just there feeling bad

0:51:390:51:41

# No, no, no

0:51:410:51:42

# You'd better get up

0:51:420:51:44

# Now, don't you understand?

0:51:440:51:46

# And raise your hand

0:51:460:51:48

# Hey, hey

0:51:480:51:49

# I said r-a-a-a-a-aise your hand

0:51:490:51:51

# Right here, right now! Ay!

0:51:510:51:53

# WOW-OW-OW-OW!

0:51:590:52:01

# Wow-whoa, yeah. #

0:52:010:52:03

SONG CONTINUES

0:52:140:52:15

I'm nobody, I'm just a fan!

0:52:200:52:22

No, I just... I'm just a fan!

0:52:220:52:24

Cos, like, I'm crazy about her!

0:52:240:52:25

-GERMAN REPORTER:

-Where from you are, friend?

0:52:250:52:28

-I can't talk if you're taking pictures of me!

-Why not?

0:52:280:52:30

Because I'm not groovy, she's groovy, look at her!

0:52:300:52:33

FEMALE FAN GIGGLES

0:52:330:52:34

# Come on... #

0:52:350:52:36

I guess, because we're strangers in foreign lands,

0:52:380:52:42

the Kozmic Blues Band came together.

0:52:420:52:44

The Albert Hall in London was the last concert,

0:52:470:52:50

and Janis knew that Bob Dylan had sold out, and she was really

0:52:500:52:55

excited about playing the Albert Hall, and she did sell out.

0:52:550:52:59

She got people dancing in the aisles at the Albert Hall,

0:52:590:53:02

and she was just ecstatic after.

0:53:020:53:04

-JANIS JOPLIN:

-Oh, excited!

0:53:040:53:06

JANIS SQUEALS

0:53:060:53:07

Nobody ever, nobody, anybody ever thought it would be that good!

0:53:070:53:10

Nobody's ever fucking got up yet, no-one's gotten to dance

0:53:100:53:13

and dug it, no-one's ever done anything there, and they did it!

0:53:130:53:16

Man, they fucking got up and grooved, and then they listened!

0:53:160:53:20

God, I'm so happy! Whoo-hoo!

0:53:200:53:24

CHEERING

0:53:310:53:32

When Janis was onstage and things were going well,

0:53:350:53:38

all was right with the world.

0:53:380:53:39

But after that hour, you've got to come offstage.

0:53:420:53:45

FAINT CHEERING

0:53:510:53:53

She used to say that it was like making love,

0:53:530:53:56

being on the stage, you know. But it's an illusion.

0:53:560:54:00

When the show's over,

0:54:000:54:01

the audience leaves...and you're left with yourself.

0:54:010:54:05

CHEERING INTENSIFIES

0:54:060:54:07

CHEERING FADES OUT

0:54:090:54:11

She rarely was using heroin before a concert, because it wasn't

0:54:160:54:22

the right kind of energy for onstage and she cared about that.

0:54:220:54:26

But her after-the-concert fix was a real regular thing.

0:54:260:54:30

We were devolving into this drug use that was way out of hand.

0:54:320:54:37

I have to, you know, digress for a second and say,

0:54:370:54:40

when Janis was in Big Brother, Peter didn't do any drugs, you know,

0:54:400:54:44

so out of respect to him, we kept it toned down a lot, you know.

0:54:440:54:48

So now she's in Kozmic Blues, so we're doing, really,

0:54:500:54:53

a lot of drugs, you know, because Peter's not...

0:54:530:54:55

Daddy isn't there any more, you know.

0:54:550:54:57

We're free and we can do all these drugs now.

0:54:570:54:59

So, it really got out of hand, you know,

0:55:020:55:04

in Los Angeles, in particular, the Landmark Hotel.

0:55:040:55:07

She called me to her room and she said,

0:55:070:55:10

"Your services are no longer needed."

0:55:100:55:13

And so then we shot up some heroin and she said,

0:55:130:55:15

"Well, aren't you going to ask me why?!"

0:55:150:55:18

I said, "What difference does it make?"

0:55:180:55:22

It was just like a marriage and I'd run out of juice and...

0:55:220:55:25

..a lot of our friends were dying that year.

0:55:270:55:30

She's lying on a motel bed and she says,

0:55:300:55:32

"It's not going to happen to me."

0:55:320:55:34

She said, "My people are pioneer stock

0:55:340:55:37

"and they came across the country and they came to Texas.

0:55:370:55:39

"They're tough.

0:55:390:55:41

"I've got those genes and nothing's going to happen to me",

0:55:410:55:44

which made me... "Shit, I wish you wouldn't have said that!"

0:55:440:55:46

HE CHUCKLES

0:55:460:55:48

You know.

0:55:480:55:50

# Trust in me, baby

0:55:500:55:53

# Give me time, give me time, hm-mm

0:55:530:55:57

# Give me time

0:55:570:55:58

# Oh, my love is like a seed, baby

0:56:000:56:04

# Just needs time to grow

0:56:050:56:09

# It's growing stronger day by day, yeah

0:56:110:56:14

# Make anybody want to sacrifice

0:56:140:56:18

# My love is like a seed, baby

0:56:210:56:26

# Trust in me, baby

0:56:260:56:28

# Trust in me, baby

0:56:280:56:30

# Trust in my love

0:56:300:56:32

# In my heart

0:56:320:56:34

# Keep the faith, baby

0:56:350:56:38

# Keep the faith in me, dear. #

0:56:380:56:40

We had heard about Woodstock from pretty well in advance,

0:56:400:56:43

and we thought, "Oh, great, it's the next Monterey."

0:56:430:56:46

It's a very warm summer day...

0:56:470:56:49

..and all this variety of choppers are taking off and landing.

0:56:500:56:54

I do remember that Peggy was on the airlift zone where we took off from.

0:56:560:57:02

I was always apprehensive when Peggy was around because I felt

0:57:040:57:08

she would be an enabler rather than a helper with the drug problem.

0:57:080:57:12

She called and said, "You have to come." I said, "I can't."

0:57:170:57:22

Because we were hearing reports that the turnpike was bogged down

0:57:220:57:26

and people were out of gas and having babies and, you know,

0:57:260:57:30

it was like locusts coming through, you know.

0:57:300:57:32

I said the only way I'd come out there was

0:57:320:57:35

if I was airlifted in and she said, "OK."

0:57:350:57:38

We were both around the same age in the South

0:57:570:58:02

with middle class families.

0:58:020:58:04

But I think Janis had a harder time of coming through.

0:58:040:58:09

But on the other hand, you know, people tend to think,

0:58:090:58:12

because of that, that she was depressed. She wasn't.

0:58:120:58:16

It was all fun.

0:58:160:58:20

We shot heroin for fun. And it took the edge off.

0:58:200:58:24

We were in the midst of one of the most social phenomenons in history.

0:58:240:58:29

What I understand is she got very high shooting up in the Porta-San

0:58:330:58:38

and couldn't go on.

0:58:380:58:40

Finally, Peggy and John Cooke had to push her on stage.

0:58:420:58:45

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:58:470:58:49

How are y'all? I mean... Erm... How are you out there? Are you OK?

0:58:560:59:01

CROWD WHOOPS AND CHEERS

0:59:010:59:03

You're not...

0:59:030:59:06

You're staying stoned and you've got enough water

0:59:060:59:08

and you've got a place to sleep and everything?

0:59:080:59:11

CHEERING

0:59:110:59:13

Because, you know, because we oughta, all of us...

0:59:130:59:18

I don't mean to be preachy but we oughta remember,

0:59:180:59:21

and that means promoters too, that music's for grooving, man.

0:59:210:59:25

Music's not for putting yourself through bad changes.

0:59:250:59:27

You know, you don't have to go take anybody's shit, man,

0:59:270:59:30

just to like music. You know what I mean? You don't.

0:59:300:59:34

So if you're getting more shit than you deserve,

0:59:340:59:36

you know what to do about it, man.

0:59:360:59:38

# Work me, Lord

0:59:430:59:47

# Work me, Lord

0:59:510:59:55

# Please don't you leave me

0:59:550:59:58

# I feel so useless down here

1:00:001:00:03

# With no-one to love

1:00:031:00:07

# Though I've looked everywhere

1:00:071:00:11

# And I can't find me anybody to love

1:00:111:00:15

# To feel my care

1:00:151:00:17

# So-whoa

1:00:171:00:23

# Work me, Lord

1:00:231:00:26

# Whoa

1:00:261:00:29

# Oh, use me, Lord... #

1:00:291:00:33

Do you ever have a whole night when you just stand up there

1:00:331:00:35

and you feel you're not making it?

1:00:351:00:37

Well, yeah, but you're kind of trying...

1:00:371:00:40

You have little games that you play with yourself to turn yourself on.

1:00:401:00:43

-Mm.

-You can usually get yourself going.

1:00:431:00:45

You've never had a desire to just leave the stage and say, "I'm sorry.

1:00:451:00:48

"It isn't working tonight, folks."

1:00:481:00:51

It's the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't leave.

1:00:511:00:55

Yeah. Yeah. If you couldn't do it any more you'd be miserable, huh?

1:00:551:00:59

Yeah. I hope that by that time I'll have something else that's groovy.

1:00:591:01:04

# Whoa

1:01:041:01:06

# Whoa-yeah

1:01:061:01:08

# Who-o-o-oa-ah

1:01:101:01:15

# Please

1:01:151:01:17

# Oh, daddy no, no, no, no, no... # VOICE BREAKS

1:01:171:01:19

# Plea-... Ah

1:01:191:01:21

# Ah no, no, no Don't you go and leave me

1:01:211:01:24

# Honey, when I reach out I wanna

1:01:241:01:26

# I said I wanna hold on to you

1:01:261:01:30

# Well, you're never there

1:01:301:01:33

# It doesn't turn me off again

1:01:331:01:35

# I still reach out to hold on to my man

1:01:351:01:39

# I said daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy daddy, daddy, daddy

1:01:391:01:43

# Don't you go

1:01:431:01:45

# No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

1:01:451:01:49

# Honey, don't you go and le-e-eave me

1:01:491:01:55

# Say, my Lord. #

1:01:551:02:00

CHEERING DISTORTS

1:02:031:02:07

This is the dark time in my time with Janis.

1:02:461:02:49

Albert and Janis reached a point where they said,

1:02:491:02:52

"Well, we're going to let the Kozmic Blues Band dissipate."

1:02:521:02:57

Janis took that failure on herself.

1:03:011:03:04

She felt that she was failing and this was, as a result,

1:03:041:03:07

by far their worst abuse of heroin and alcohol.

1:03:071:03:11

Well, this whole thing that's happened to me,

1:03:181:03:21

you see, this whole success thing... Erm...

1:03:211:03:25

It hasn't yet really compromised the position

1:03:251:03:29

I took a long time ago in Texas that was to be true to myself,

1:03:291:03:32

to be the person that was inside of me and not play games.

1:03:321:03:37

That's what I'm trying to do mostly in the whole world,

1:03:371:03:40

is to not bullshit myself.

1:03:401:03:42

What do you think when you're singing?

1:03:431:03:45

Do you actually think what's going on in the song

1:03:451:03:48

or can your mind be somewhere else?

1:03:481:03:50

-I'm not really thinking much. You're just sort of trying to feel.

-Yeah.

1:03:501:03:54

The last I heard of you, you were in the jungles of Brazil.

1:03:561:04:00

I went to Rio for Carnival

1:04:001:04:02

and then I decided to hitchhike around the northern part of Brazil.

1:04:021:04:06

-As a kind of vacation?

-Just like a regular old beatnik on the road.

1:04:061:04:11

I knew I was going to try to make it to Rio for Carnival

1:04:181:04:20

cos I was meeting a friend of mine

1:04:201:04:22

so I got to Rio a couple of days early and I thought,

1:04:221:04:26

"God. There's Ipanema beach, you know.

1:04:261:04:28

"God, the girl from Ipanema," you know.

1:04:281:04:31

So I went over to Ipanema beach

1:04:311:04:33

and the very first person I ran into on the beach was Janis.

1:04:331:04:37

I didn't know it was Janis, I just saw this girl with a bikini on.

1:04:371:04:41

# Don't you understand me, baby

1:04:431:04:47

# Why I need a man to love... #

1:04:471:04:55

She looked up. I remember lifting her sunglasses up and saying,

1:04:551:04:58

"Hiya, cute thing." And I went, "Wow. Hiya, cute thing."

1:04:581:05:04

I'd been in the jungle a long time!

1:05:041:05:06

# This loneliness

1:05:061:05:08

# Baby, surrounding me

1:05:081:05:11

-# No, no, no, it just can't be

-# No, it just can't be

1:05:111:05:16

# There's got to be some kind of answer

1:05:161:05:18

# No, it just can't be... #

1:05:181:05:21

When we went back to the hotel the first night,

1:05:231:05:25

she wasn't sleeping well, she was rolling around,

1:05:251:05:28

she was unhappy, she was having cold sweats

1:05:281:05:31

and she told me that she was trying to kick the habit

1:05:311:05:34

so I held her for two-and-a-half days while she came down.

1:05:341:05:37

She was really a different person.

1:05:411:05:43

She was much more calm, she was much more beautiful, I mean...

1:05:431:05:48

And she wasn't used to being straight

1:05:481:05:50

so she knew she was more beautiful and then after that it was clear -

1:05:501:05:54

she couldn't have gotten higher than when we travelled around Brazil.

1:05:541:05:59

She was so free and so different than any other girl I'd ever met.

1:05:591:06:03

I'd never had a woman inspire me before.

1:06:051:06:08

So it stopped me in my tracks, so to speak.

1:06:081:06:10

I was heading for North Africa and when I met her I realised,

1:06:101:06:14

"Shit, I'm not going anywhere."

1:06:141:06:17

When we came back to California, we spent time together,

1:06:181:06:23

just the two of us.

1:06:231:06:25

I mean, we did come to the park here and we did go to the Haight,

1:06:251:06:28

but basically we just pretty much hung together.

1:06:281:06:30

We were inseparable, really, for those months.

1:06:301:06:33

As my relationship with Janis grew,

1:06:361:06:38

I realised when she sang me these songs, they were always the blues

1:06:381:06:43

and that's what she felt, basically, were the blues.

1:06:431:06:46

She could feel everybody's pain.

1:06:461:06:48

That's one of the reasons she did heroin,

1:06:481:06:51

was so she didn't have to be involved with everybody else's life.

1:06:511:06:55

Most people can be oblivious to what's going on around them.

1:06:551:06:57

Janis couldn't. She couldn't block it out.

1:06:571:07:02

But she was addicted to it, you know.

1:07:021:07:04

And I got her to stop and then when I would go away,

1:07:041:07:06

she'd get weak, I guess, is one way to say it, and start it again.

1:07:061:07:10

I told her I can't do that part.

1:07:111:07:13

I can't put up with that cos it's killing you.

1:07:131:07:16

And it broke my heart to see it.

1:07:161:07:17

Really what it is, it broke my heart, more than anything.

1:07:171:07:20

When I said I was leaving, she said,

1:07:201:07:22

"Why don't you stay and become my manager?"

1:07:221:07:25

It was a tempting offer,

1:07:251:07:27

but the heroin I couldn't even begin to put up with.

1:07:271:07:30

# Oh

1:07:341:07:40

# Baby

1:07:401:07:43

# Cry, baby

1:07:431:07:47

# Cry, baby

1:07:471:07:50

# Oh, honey, welcome back home

1:07:501:07:55

# I had a man

1:07:551:07:57

# He said honey, honey You know that I love you

1:07:591:08:05

# See, baby, you know I gotta go find myself

1:08:051:08:07

# You know I gotta go find my life

1:08:071:08:09

# I gotta go find myself over in Africa

1:08:091:08:12

# Or over in New York City

1:08:121:08:15

# Or over in Olema

1:08:151:08:18

# Some place those cats are always wandering off to

1:08:181:08:21

# I never figured out exactly where it was

1:08:211:08:23

# Always going somewhere, man

1:08:231:08:25

# And I said, baby, don't you realise

1:08:271:08:31

# You lookin' for your life over there, honey

1:08:321:08:35

# You wanna know where your life is?

1:08:351:08:37

# Your life's waiting like a goddamn fool right here

1:08:371:08:41

# For you, man

1:08:411:08:43

# And one mornin', you're going to wake up in Casablanca

1:08:431:08:46

# One of those fancy places

1:08:461:08:48

# Honey, you're gonna be freezing to death, man

1:08:481:08:50

# You're gonna wake up just think Good Lord

1:08:501:08:54

# Good, good, good Lord

1:08:541:08:57

# I just went off and left that woman

1:08:571:08:59

# In that great big huge double bed Great big fur rug on top of it

1:08:591:09:02

# And those satin sheets man What am I doin' in Casablanca, man?

1:09:021:09:07

# I mean really, man

1:09:071:09:09

# One of these days, that cat's gonna wake up and say it to himself

1:09:091:09:12

# And when he comes back home, yeah Just like the Capricorn I am

1:09:121:09:17

# I'll be standin' there waiting

1:09:171:09:20

# I said, baby, I knew one day

1:09:201:09:24

# Honey, I knew, knew, knew one day

1:09:241:09:27

# Won't you finally come home to me

1:09:271:09:30

# Honey, when you walk through my front door

1:09:301:09:34

# I'll be able to tell by the look in your eyes

1:09:341:09:37

# I said, good God

1:09:371:09:39

# I mean finally Good God, yeah

1:09:391:09:42

# Lord, he done finally realised

1:09:421:09:46

# So you can put your head on my shoulder, yeah

1:09:461:09:49

# Cos I know you've got more tears to shed, do you

1:09:491:09:54

# So come on, come on, come on

1:09:541:09:57

# Come on, come on, come on

1:09:571:10:00

# And cry, cry, baby

1:10:001:10:03

# Cry, baby

1:10:051:10:07

# Cry

1:10:091:10:11

# Cry

1:10:121:10:15

# Cry, baby

1:10:161:10:20

# Cry, baby

1:10:201:10:24

# Cry, baby. #

1:10:241:10:26

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1:10:291:10:31

I want to ask you about that tune that you just sang.

1:10:371:10:40

-It's, erm, about men.

-It's about men.

1:10:401:10:45

-Do you ever see those mule carts?

-Yeah.

1:10:451:10:47

Well, there's a dumb mule up there, right, and they have a long stick

1:10:471:10:52

with a string and a carrot on the end of it.

1:10:521:10:55

And they hang this thing in front of the mule's nose

1:10:551:10:57

-and he runs after it all day long.

-And who's the man in this parable?

1:10:571:11:03

-The mule or...

-No.

-Or is he holding the carrot?

-The woman is the mule.

1:11:031:11:08

Chasing something that somebody's always teasing her with.

1:11:081:11:10

-Chasing a man.

-Yeah.

-Who always eludes her.

1:11:101:11:13

Well, they just always hold up something

1:11:131:11:15

more than they're prepared to give.

1:11:151:11:17

We had dinner one night and I remember suddenly saying,

1:11:191:11:22

without having planned to...

1:11:221:11:24

"How can you assure me that you're not taking...

1:11:251:11:29

"That you're not doing heroin?

1:11:291:11:32

And her answer was interesting. It was, "Who would care?"

1:11:321:11:36

It really stopped me.

1:11:361:11:38

Do you ever get back to Port Arthur, Texas?

1:11:431:11:46

No, but I'm going back next in August, man.

1:11:461:11:48

-And guess what I'm doing?

-I don't know.

1:11:481:11:50

I'm going to my tenth annual high school reunion.

1:11:501:11:53

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

1:11:531:11:55

Oh, I want to... Take movies and bring them back to us.

1:11:571:12:00

Hey, would you like to go, man?

1:12:001:12:02

Well, I don't have that many friends in your high school class.

1:12:021:12:04

I don't either. I don't either, believe me.

1:12:041:12:07

-They won't move the reunion now that you're going?

-That's true.

1:12:071:12:10

I wasn't going to tell them.

1:12:101:12:12

What do you remember most about Port Arthur?

1:12:171:12:19

SHE LAUGHS

1:12:191:12:21

Erm... I don't really remember... VOICE BREAKS

1:12:231:12:25

Erm, no comment. THEY GIGGLE

1:12:251:12:27

It was really only the acceptance of millions that could make up

1:12:301:12:34

for that way that she's grown up.

1:12:341:12:37

If everyone loved her, then it was OK, but if anyone didn't,

1:12:371:12:42

they could destroy her in a minute.

1:12:421:12:45

How were you different from your schoolmates when you were in TJ?

1:12:451:12:49

I don't know. Why don't you ask them?

1:12:491:12:51

-It was they, it was they who made you different?

-No. I...

1:12:541:12:57

In other words, you were different in comparison with them

1:12:571:13:00

or were you...

1:13:001:13:01

I felt apart from them. Let's put it that way.

1:13:011:13:04

-Did you go to football games?

-I don't remember.

1:13:041:13:08

Erm, I don't remember.

1:13:101:13:12

I think not. I didn't go to the high school prom. And...

1:13:131:13:19

-You were asked, weren't you?

-No. I wasn't. They didn't think...

1:13:201:13:25

I don't think they wanted to take me.

1:13:251:13:27

SHE LAUGHS

1:13:271:13:30

TEARFULLY: And I've been suffering ever since!

1:13:301:13:33

THEY LAUGH I remember, when I was young,

1:13:331:13:36

some doctor told my mother that if I didn't, quote, straighten up,

1:13:361:13:42

quote, I was going to end up either in jail or in an insane

1:13:421:13:46

asylum by the time I was 21, right.

1:13:461:13:48

So when I turned 25 and my second record came out, I think

1:13:491:13:51

my mother sent me a congratulatory telegram or something,

1:13:511:13:54

you know, that I had escaped the pen.

1:13:541:13:57

-How do you get along with your parents?

-Pretty good. Pretty...

1:13:571:14:00

-They had somewhere to go?

-Right.

1:14:001:14:02

They went to a wedding at the high school. We get along pretty good.

1:14:021:14:06

-Erm... Yeah.

-Do they ever seem surprised by your success?

1:14:061:14:09

I think yeah, yeah.

1:14:111:14:13

Our parents saw it as, you know, challenging to their way of life,

1:14:131:14:18

to their positions in the community

1:14:181:14:20

and it created difficulties between them

1:14:201:14:23

and both of them silently, with each other,

1:14:231:14:27

feeling that they had somehow caused a calamity.

1:14:271:14:32

I didn't see her for six months.

1:14:551:14:57

She had promised me that she was going to quit heroin.

1:14:571:15:01

And she did. And it changed her.

1:15:011:15:04

"Dear Family. Things are going so well for me.

1:15:071:15:11

"I have a new, smaller band and it's really going fantastic.

1:15:111:15:14

"Met a really fine man in Rio but I had to get back to work

1:15:141:15:17

"so he's off finding the rest of the world.

1:15:171:15:20

"But he really did love me and was so good to me.

1:15:201:15:23

"He wants to come back and marry me.

1:15:231:15:25

"I thought I'd die without someone besides fans asking me.

1:15:251:15:28

"But he meant it and who knows? I may get tired of the music biz.

1:15:281:15:31

"But I'm really getting it on now."

1:15:311:15:33

She called me up and said, "I've got a great new band.

1:15:381:15:41

"You want to come back on the road?"

1:15:411:15:43

With Janis, it was magic.

1:15:431:15:46

She had a gift from God when she played.

1:15:461:15:48

There was a connection there. I don't know what it was between us.

1:15:481:15:53

Somehow we didn't really do a lot... We never did a lot of talking.

1:15:531:15:56

She was a bubbly person.

1:15:581:16:00

She wanted everything to be so perfect for everyone. Not just her.

1:16:001:16:03

Everyone.

1:16:031:16:05

# You say that it's over, baby

1:16:051:16:08

# You say that it's over now

1:16:081:16:11

# But still you hang around... #

1:16:111:16:13

She said, "Man, with Full Tilt I can change something

1:16:131:16:16

"in the middle of the song and they're right there."

1:16:161:16:20

She was a fantastic front person.

1:16:201:16:23

She would say, "When I do the windmill, keep her going."

1:16:231:16:27

Or we'd be playing a song

1:16:271:16:29

and she'd decide she'd like to talk to the audience.

1:16:291:16:32

She would bring the band down and then she would start talking.

1:16:321:16:37

I can't hear you!

1:16:371:16:39

She was working the crowd.

1:16:441:16:47

# You say that it's over, baby... #

1:16:471:16:49

It wasn't just that she was clean.

1:16:491:16:51

She had learned just about every lesson to be learned

1:16:511:16:55

from the really tough times of the year before.

1:16:551:17:00

She was more comfortable about her whole life.

1:17:001:17:03

Having David leave her was actually really good for her.

1:17:051:17:09

She spoke of him afterwards as her lost love.

1:17:091:17:12

She still hoped that he would come back after she got clean.

1:17:121:17:15

# I ain't got no time for walking

1:17:151:17:17

# And what's that gonna do with your love

1:17:171:17:20

# Love all just dangling

1:17:201:17:23

# Hey

1:17:231:17:25

# Make up your mind, honey

1:17:251:17:28

# You're playing with me... #

1:17:281:17:31

"David, honey. Daddy, listen. I kicked, man, four months ago.

1:17:311:17:35

"I'm on the road rockin' with a great group so I got Janis back.

1:17:351:17:39

"She's delightfully crazy but I love her, man.

1:17:391:17:42

"I've got that picture of us in Salvador

1:17:421:17:44

"and every time I look at it, I look like a woman.

1:17:441:17:47

"Not a pop star. But I'm afraid it's too late.

1:17:471:17:49

"I know how to be a pop star but I don't know how to bake bread.

1:17:491:17:53

"But honey, when I look at you, this whole flood comes over me.

1:17:531:17:56

"I love ya and I did write, motherfucker. Don't you yell at me."

1:17:561:18:00

-PHONE INTERVIEWER:

-It seems to bother a lot of women's lib people

1:18:241:18:27

that you're kind of so upfront sexually.

1:18:271:18:30

I haven't been attacked by anyone yet.

1:18:301:18:32

You know, how can they attack me?

1:18:321:18:34

I'm representing everything they said they want, you know.

1:18:341:18:38

It's sort of like you are what you settle for, do you know what I mean?

1:18:381:18:41

And if, you know, if they settle for being somebody's dishwasher,

1:18:411:18:45

that's their own fucking problem.

1:18:451:18:47

If you don't settle for that and you keep fighting, you know,

1:18:471:18:50

you'll end up anything you'll want to be.

1:18:501:18:52

I'm just doing what I want to and what feels right

1:18:521:18:56

and not settling for bullshit and it works. How can they be mad at that?

1:18:561:19:01

One girl I know said,

1:19:011:19:03

"How come she doesn't have any women in any of her groups?"

1:19:031:19:06

You show me a good drummer and I'll hire one. You know.

1:19:061:19:09

Show me a good chick.

1:19:091:19:11

-Besides, I don't want a chick on the road with me.

-You don't?

1:19:111:19:14

I've got enough competition, man. THEY LAUGH

1:19:141:19:16

No, I like to be around men!

1:19:171:19:21

-Fuck it!

-God bless ya, folks!

1:19:231:19:25

-God bless ya!

-Peace, love, truth, beauty!

1:19:251:19:28

It was fun getting back with her on the Festival Express.

1:19:281:19:33

Because we were all stuck in a little area.

1:19:331:19:36

Her yes men couldn't contain her there.

1:19:371:19:40

They couldn't control her there because she wanted to get out

1:19:401:19:43

and be with her kindred spirits, the musicians.

1:19:431:19:46

-Are we in Calgary yet?

-We're stopped.

1:19:461:19:48

-And we're going to run out...

-We're in Alberta.

-Alberta?

-Alberta.

1:19:481:19:51

Alberta, let yo' hair hang do-...

1:19:511:19:54

No! LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

1:19:541:19:56

I've loved you ever since the day I saw you.

1:20:001:20:04

'Drew didn't love Janis

1:20:061:20:08

'because she was a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model.

1:20:081:20:11

'He loved her for what she did. And the sparks that she threw off.

1:20:111:20:17

'He had a right proper appreciation for what Janis was

1:20:171:20:20

'and what she had to offer.'

1:20:201:20:23

# From the Kentucky coalmines to the California sun

1:20:291:20:33

# Bobby shared the secrets of my soul...

1:20:331:20:38

Her producer gave me a demo of her singing Bobby McGee.

1:20:381:20:44

# Bobby, baby, kept me from the cold... #

1:20:441:20:52

It was so exhilarating for me to hear her make that her song.

1:20:521:20:56

If you're a songwriter and somebody does that with what you've got,

1:20:561:21:01

it's the greatest feeling in the world.

1:21:011:21:03

# Well, I'd trade all of my tomorrows

1:21:031:21:06

# For one single yesterday

1:21:061:21:09

# To be holding Bobby's body next to mine... #

1:21:091:21:13

TRACK FADES INTO STUDIO VERSION

1:21:131:21:15

# Freedom's just another word For nothing left to lose

1:21:151:21:19

# Nothin', that's all that Bobby left me... #

1:21:191:21:23

-I hear you're making a new record.

-Yeah. It's really going good.

1:21:231:21:27

I like my producer. He's really worked out really well with me.

1:21:271:21:30

-Who's producing it?

-Paul Rothchild.

1:21:301:21:32

-You haven't worked with him before, huh?

-No. No, I haven't.

1:21:321:21:36

The first time I talked to Janis about Paul, she said,

1:21:361:21:38

"Boy, that guy!" And I said, "What?"

1:21:381:21:41

And she started talking about him and this is serious Janis

1:21:411:21:44

and I had never heard her say this kind of stuff about anybody.

1:21:441:21:48

She was talking about how much she was learning from him.

1:21:481:21:53

The mood was very up. I mean, as good as sessions get.

1:21:531:21:59

Everybody in love with everybody else and working very hard.

1:21:591:22:03

And Janis, she was always ready to do the most.

1:22:031:22:07

She was a much better singer than the world or even she knew.

1:22:071:22:12

# La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la

1:22:121:22:15

# Hey now, Bobby Bobby McGee... #

1:22:151:22:17

What he was asking her to do was to understand the different voices

1:22:171:22:22

she had at her command

1:22:221:22:24

and the ramifications of this for Janis were really profound.

1:22:241:22:29

Because she had always said, and she absolutely meant it, "Oh, man.

1:22:291:22:32

"When I blow out my voice, I'm gonna buy a bar, retire in Rains County."

1:22:321:22:37

What she was learning from Paul was enabling her to see

1:22:371:22:40

farther into the future.

1:22:401:22:43

And that's where Paul was looking all along.

1:22:431:22:45

He said, "30 years from now, I want you to be making your best album

1:22:451:22:49

"and I want you to be making it with me.

1:22:491:22:52

She called me on the phone and she said,

1:22:531:22:56

"I've got to play on the phone for you...

1:22:561:22:58

"..a song of Kris Kristofferson's that I've just recorded."

1:23:001:23:05

To hear that voice, to hear her pride, to hear her excitement...

1:23:051:23:11

I didn't hear it till she was gone and it was very emotional for me.

1:23:131:23:20

I can see her saying, "Wait till that son-of-a-bitch hears this!"

1:23:211:23:25

You know?

1:23:251:23:27

# Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee. #

1:23:291:23:32

You know, everything about it was positive for Janis.

1:23:341:23:37

Except that she always hated the down hours.

1:23:371:23:39

The Janis who says, "How come the guys in the band go home,

1:23:431:23:46

"you know, with these girls and I go home alone?"

1:23:461:23:49

She was saying, "You can't imagine how hard it is to be me."

1:23:491:23:53

She just didn't know who to relax with. She just didn't know any more.

1:23:591:24:04

A lot of pressure. "You've got to do this, Janis. You've got to do that."

1:24:061:24:10

That's what made it hard for her, I think. She loved everybody.

1:24:101:24:14

That was the problem.

1:24:141:24:16

She was like a little girl lost

1:24:181:24:21

and then she would be as strong as a mountain lion.

1:24:211:24:26

Erm...

1:24:261:24:28

As far as anyone could see, she had kicked heroin.

1:24:331:24:36

She had replaced it with alcohol,

1:24:361:24:38

but it didn't look like that was going to kill her.

1:24:381:24:41

I think she thought, "One last little hurrah."

1:24:411:24:45

I can understand her wanting to, you know, "No-one's ever going to know.

1:24:471:24:51

"I'll hang in my room, do a hit and then go to bed."

1:24:511:24:56

Paul Rothchild called me and he said, "Janis isn't here.

1:24:591:25:02

"Can you see if you can find her?"

1:25:021:25:05

And I pulled out of the driveway and I look up there

1:25:051:25:08

and I know which window is hers and there's a light in the window.

1:25:081:25:12

And when I opened the door, I had this really simple

1:25:131:25:17

and direct feeling - nobody's here.

1:25:171:25:19

I came round the corner and saw Janis lying by the bed.

1:25:201:25:23

But that feeling of nobody is here, it was right.

1:25:281:25:31

# Sit there

1:25:411:25:46

# Mm, count your fingers

1:25:491:25:52

# What else

1:25:541:25:56

# What else is there to do... #

1:25:561:26:01

I was standing at a stove, boiling an egg or something.

1:26:041:26:09

The radio said, "Janis Joplin..."

1:26:091:26:11

And I knew before they got the last consonant in her name out

1:26:111:26:14

that she was dead.

1:26:141:26:16

# Count, oh, count your little fingers

1:26:181:26:23

# My unhappy... #

1:26:231:26:25

I wrote a telegram to Janis that says...

1:26:281:26:31

"Really miss you. Things aren't the same alone.

1:26:331:26:37

"Could meet you in Kathmandu any time,

1:26:381:26:40

"but late October is the best season.

1:26:401:26:43

"Love you, Momma. More than you know."

1:26:441:26:47

# Oh, sit there... #

1:26:471:26:53

I just fell apart. I just completely fell apart.

1:26:541:26:57

She was in touch with her emotions and who she was in some way

1:26:571:27:04

that nobody else that I knew was that in touch with.

1:27:041:27:07

And to be that way, to try to get that, that's...

1:27:071:27:11

That's the price you pay for doing that kind of art on that level,

1:27:141:27:18

you know.

1:27:181:27:20

"Dear Family. I'm awfully sorry to be such a disappointment to you,

1:27:261:27:31

"but I really do think there's an awfully good chance

1:27:311:27:34

"I won't blow it this time.

1:27:341:27:37

"There's really nothing more I can say right now.

1:27:371:27:40

"Guess I'll write more when I have more news.

1:27:401:27:42

"Until then, address all criticism to the above address

1:27:421:27:47

"and believe that you can't possibly want for me to be a winner

1:27:471:27:52

"more than I do. Love, Janis."

1:27:521:27:55

# Sit there

1:27:561:28:01

# Go on, go on and count your fingers

1:28:011:28:07

# Oh, no, what else, what else What else have you got to do

1:28:071:28:15

# I know how you feel

1:28:151:28:18

# And I know you ain't got no reason to go on

1:28:181:28:21

# I know you feel that you must be through

1:28:211:28:23

# Go on and sit right back down

1:28:231:28:27

# Oh, won't you count Count your fingers

1:28:271:28:31

# My unhappy

1:28:311:28:34

# My unlucky

1:28:341:28:37

# But my little Little girl blue

1:28:371:28:41

# I know you're unhappy

1:28:411:28:44

# Oh

1:28:441:28:46

# Honey, I know

1:28:461:28:49

# Babe, I know just how you feel. #

1:28:491:28:56

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