Gabriel's Ups and Downs Ask Lara

.

TANNOY

'Flight 315C ready for departure.'

How am I supposed to make a superhero costume

when they haven't even taught us how to sat "tights"?

-Ask Akira.

-Yay! Thanks, Akira.

-What's wrong?

-I think I'll just look silly.

-Who are you going as?

-Swim Girl!

-Speed Girl!

Pink girl, I guess.

BOTH: who is the coolest? Who can fly?

-Who makes the bad guys scream and cry?

-Swim Girl!

-Speed Girl!

-BOTH: Come on, Lara.

-It's all right for you, you're real superheroes.

-I'm just a drip. Who are you going as?

-Superteen.

-Wow!

-That's brilliant!

Have you heard this coming?

-ALL: Mandy Minstrel!

-But she's...why is she coming here?

She was a student here, she comes back once a year to encourage us.

And if she wants to encourage me with my vocab homework, I won't say no!

Eh, Gabriel?

Gabriel, are you OK?

She has great hair. And huge big...

..eyes.

Oh, look, free ice-cream.

It's that nice dinner lady.

-What's up?

-I've got a...you know!

Again? Are you going for a world-record something?

Give it a minute, you'll be fine. Uh-oh.

What ice-cream, Tony? You made that up!

Gabriel, are you sick?

You look like you've got a fever.

Great.

Now everyone is looking at me.

Well, how would you feel if you had an unwanted erection?

A - relaxed. It is completely normal.

B - proud.

You want to tell all your friends.

Or, C - paralysed with embarrassment.

Gabriel?

Something came up. I mean, got to go.

Erections are caused by temporary flow of blood to the penis.

Often when aroused, but often for no reason at all. Lucky you!

-Normal and healthy.

-I know what it is, tell me how to make it go away.

-You can't. Just keep calm and they go away.

-But then they come back!

But hey, only when there are loads of people around!

-But they feel nice, don't they?

-Not if someone sees!

LAUGHTER

-You need to get ready.

-I'm not going.

-But you have to.

Easy for you to say, you aren't hijacked by your underpants

every time you see a cute girl!

-Try this.

-I'm Superteen not a twerp in a skirt!

-I'm not going.

-Ah-ha! You are.

-Because we are going to find a way you can control yourself.

-How?

Put these on. They'll keep it down. Then put your costume over the top.

-But they're too tight.

-Exactly!

Now to see if it works.

-Stop!

-I guess that's a "No", then. A-ha!

Sorry, mate.

-No, no way!

-Then what?

-I look ridiculous,

-No, you don't.

-Don't be daft.

It says here that it will go away

if you think about something really dull.

-Such as?

-I don't know. This old jumper? OK.

Oh, no, stop! Stop!

What? It's only an old jumper.

Yes, but there was this girl in it, and it was sort of tight.

OK, how about apples? Plums.

They are really boring. Boring fruit and veg.

I can't go anywhere like this!

Well, would you go out partying if you had this problem?

A - yes. No one will even notice if I just acted normally.

B - sure, I am happy to show everyone that I am growing up.

Or C - no way! Everyone would see and want to talk about it.

It's no good. Everything makes me think of girls.

I could recite my five times table

and I would still be thinking about...

That's it! Tables. They're perfect.

One five is five, two fives are 10, three fives are 15,

four fives... So?

Looking good. What about this?

Six fives are 30. Seven fives are 35.

It works, fantastic!

Come on. We'll be late!

-I look like a giant pink sausage.

-No, you don't, you look fine.

Come on, let's practice the routine.

BOTH: Who's the coolest? Who can who can fly?

Are you sure this will work?

Sure I'm sure, let's test it. Sexy girl on the bus, 12 o'clock.

Seven sevens are 49, eight sevens are 56.

Good! Steamy advert, two o'clock.

-Nine sevens are 63, 10 sevens are 70.

-What? Not even a little one?

Shut up! 10 sevens are 70. 11 sevens are 77...

No way! I look like a twit!

-Lara...

-No! It's a superhero party

and I look like a sausage with a cape.

-I'm not going.

-Don't go, then. We'll say you were the Invisible Man.

Wait, maybe there's a costume left over from the school play.

You're joking.

-Only if you promise that whatever they have, you'll wear it.

-Um...

OK.

I'm sorry, all right? How was I to know they just did Mother Goose?

-But I look even more stupid.

-You promised!

-Come on, we'll be late.

Hey, wait for us!

-Wow!

-Great costumes!

One 17 is 17...

Hey Supergoose, what's your technique for zapping villains?

Do you peck them to death or just sit on them until they give up?

-I suppose you think it's funny, too?

-Six 17s...102...

Seven 17s...119.

Eight 17s...136.

Nine 17s, 153. And ten 17s, 170... I can't do it!

-I'm going home.

-ALL: What?

-Me too.

-ALL: What?

What's up with her?

-She thinks she looks stupid.

-And I have to say, what's up with him?

He's a bit, you know, up and down.

Wait, come back! I have an idea. Come with me, quick!

Perfect!

Way to go, Supergoose!

Ladies and gentlemen, prize for the best costume goes to...Superteen!

APPLAUSE

And the maker of the winning costume, Gabriel Goose!

APPLAUSE

And to present the prizes, our special guest, Miss Mandy Minstrel.

APPLAUSE

She's gorgeous!

So, finally you wake up and take an interest!

When you find yourself, um, you know, do you,

A - stay cool and wait for it to pass?

B - brag to your mates?

Or C - wish the earth would open up and swallow you?

If you answered mostly A, wow!

Sounds like you know how to stay cool, calm and collected.

If you add to mostly B, your enthusiasm is great,

but does everyone else really need to know what's going on?

If you answered mostly C, don't worry.

Practice makes perfect,

and you'll soon be able to handle all these ups and downs.

-Hey, Gabriel, what's up?

-Er...boys' things, of course.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd