Panto Shane a'r Belen Aur


Panto Shane a'r Belen Aur

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Transcript


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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Shane Williams!

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-# Gwlad

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-# Gwlad

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-# Pleidiol wyf im gwlad #

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-Now, the ball comes.

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-Biggar, Scott Williams,

-Shane Williams!

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-Shane Williams! He's in!

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-The story is complete.

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-The career has been concluded...

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-..with the highest note of all.

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-No-one could have

-written the script.

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-Shane Williams, Welsh rugby hero.

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-No-one could have written

-a better script for his career.

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-The leading try scorer

-in Welsh rugby history.

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-He even scored with his final touch

-in the red shirt.

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-Not bad for a lad who, some said,

-was too small to play rugby.

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-He has faced many challenges...

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-..but now, the Amman lad

-faces the ultimate challenge.

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-He's appearing in a panto!

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-Oh, yes, he is!

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-I haven't acted before,

-I can't dance.

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-I can't sing either, so...

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-..yes, this will be a challenge.

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-When I started playing, I was

-always smaller than the other boys.

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-The only way I could express myself

-was to get hold of the ball...

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-..take players on

-and have fun on the field.

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-I always played

-with a smile on my face.

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-I've faced a lot of challenges,

-but this one is a bit different.

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-I've read it through once.

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-I don't understand

-some of the words.

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-Tudur's made a great job of the

-script, but he's from North Wales.

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-I knew Shane Williams was the star,

-so I focused on him initially.

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-But I knew I needed a baddie,

-a genie from the lamp...

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-..then I'd hear

-that there were star guests...

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-..as they agreed to take part.

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-You know that, Auntie Dot.

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-With a lot of the words,

-mark them as you'd pronounce them.

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-You know that, Auntie Dot.

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-Shane's biggest challenge

-will be to overcome his nerves.

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-He'll have to work on his voice.

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-He's a pleasant lad, quite shy.

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-I went through the script

-with my daughter last night.

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-She's ten years old.

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-I was more nervous after that...

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-..because she was better than me!

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-We changed a few words,

-and I got some tips from Phyl.

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-Now, I can't wait to start.

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-CHATTER

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-In the middle, there.

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-Shane!

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-Hello, Auntie Dot.

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-Shane's doing exceptionally well.

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-Can he hear us?

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-Can he hear us?

-

-Is he here?

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-He's there.

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-He's there.

-

-He's fantastic.

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-Tell me to mind my own business...

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-Tell me to mind my own business...

-

-Mind your own business.

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-I get to do something

-that I'm used to doing.

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-He's the one who's doing

-something totally new.

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-# Something about you

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-# That I can never dismiss #

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-Good morning.

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-How do you feel, Shane?

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-More nervous now I'm here.

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-There's a group

-of football players coming in.

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-The true sport, the proper game.

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-Osian, Lee Trundle and me,

-the three wise men.

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-I know Lee Trundle can sing,

-but I'm not sure if he can dance.

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-That's it. Easy!

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-I've been asked many a time to do

-things, but always turned it down.

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-But with it being about Shane

-and a lot of sportsmen in it...

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-..I thought it'd be a bit of fun.

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-Rowland looks natural.

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-I'm more nervous about laughing too

-much at Andy Powell, to be honest.

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-It's quite refreshing, that stuff.

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-It's quite refreshing, that stuff.

-

-Is it cooling?

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-It's OK.

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-I might not wear it out for a meal,

-but it could be worse.

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-I follow Sarra, so if she remembers

-her lines, I'll remember mine.

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-Shane, are you OK?

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-A star in the making!

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-We're starting

-in a couple of minutes.

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-I'm looking forward to it.

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-It's easy for us

-because we don't have many lines.

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-But as for him...

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-This is it, a packed theatre.

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-I'm ready to go,

-the adrenaline's kicking in.

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-Here we are,

-certainly Shane's day.

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-For the next 90 minutes,

-he'll be a part of a team.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Hey, I'm Shane Williams,

-the little lad from the Amman.

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-270 games for Neath and the Ospreys.

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-128 tries.

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-87 caps for Wales.

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-58 tries, the most

-in Welsh rugby history.

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-World Player of the Year 2008.

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-I even scored right at the end

-of my last game for Wales.

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-Shane Williams!

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-Shane Williams! He's in!

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-The story is complete.

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-After retiring, I came back

-to play for the Amman.

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-And yes, I scored

-a cup-winning try.

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-Not bad for a lad who, some said.

-was too small to play rugby.

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-It's been a story full of drama.

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-A bit of a pantomime, maybe,

-but a fairy tale.

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-I've played

-on the world's biggest stages.

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-From Eden Park to Twickers,

-I've seen them all.

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-But now the time has come

-to step onto another big stage...

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-..to sing, dance and laugh...

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-..and to tell the story

-of the lad who was too small.

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-Welcome to Shane

-and the Golden Ball.

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-What did you say?

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-The name's Colin O'Cospy,

-the richest businessman in Wales.

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-I've just stolen...

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-I've just invested in this!

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-The most powerful computer

-in the world.

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-Say hello to Muse!

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-Yes? What do you want?

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-Muse. What do you know?

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-I know they don't like you.

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-What?

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-What?

-

-No-one likes you.

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-Oh, yes, they do.

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-Oh, no, they don't.

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-Oh, yes, they do.

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-Oh, no, they don't.

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-Oh, shut up!

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-I'm going to rule the world,

-and you're going to help me, Muse.

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-Hey, listen, I may be good

-but I'm not that good.

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-But I do know what could help you.

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-What?

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-What?

-

-The Golden Ball!

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-The Golden Ball has been hidden

-underground, in an old coal mine.

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-Where is this coal mine?

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-It's been hidden underground

-for a reason.

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-What reason?

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-To stop people like you stealing it

-to try to rule the world.

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-Enough. Where's my screwdriver?

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-I'm disconnecting your motherboard!

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-I'm disconnecting your motherboard!

-

-Whoa, whoa, don't be like that.

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-Listen to me.

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-There's a lad who isn't tall

-but whose heart is far from small

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-With endless wisdom in his brain

-who answers to the name of Shane

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-Why are you talking funny?

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-Why are you talking funny?

-

-Tradition. I'm concentrating.

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-Sorry.

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-Maes Mawr RFC is above the pit,

-the hiding place lies under it

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-Only Shane can brave the coal

-and come back with the Golden Ball

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-But there's one more thing

-that must be heard.

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-The lock is opened with magic words.

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-The lock is opened with magic words.

-

-What are they?

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-Hold on! Here are the magic words.

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-Swing Low Sweet Chariot!

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-What? Swing low sweet chariot are

-the magic words to open the mine?

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-Yup. Well, no Welshman

-is likely to utter them.

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-Clever, eh?

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-Right, toodle-pip.

-I'm off for a little reboot.

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-Excellent, Muse, excellent!

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-Find a Welshman sweet and pure

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-By the name of Shane,

-that's for sure

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-He'll get the Golden Ball for me

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-Ha ha ha ha, hee hee hee hee!

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-Rhyming isn't always easy, is it?

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-Maes Mawr today,

-Garnswllt tomorrow, then the world!

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-Ha ha ha ha ha!

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-# Take a trip across the sea

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-# Take a breath, it'll be faster

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-# Feel the warm breeze

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-# Kiss your pure white skin

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-# Hear nothing, open your world

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-# Sit down, keep your head down

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-# Everything will be alright

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-# Late in the afternoon

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-# Because we're all

-running like rats

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-# Have you got half an hour

-to flatter me?

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-# The same old things worry everyone

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-# But ultimately, we're all free

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-# Oh, life is so fine

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-# The wine tastes of grapes

-and the company's good

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-# Oh, life is so fine

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-# The wine tastes of grapes

-and the company's good

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-# Sing the song to keep us pure

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-# Hold on tight,

-the rain pours down

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-# Around your head

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-# But remember to smile awhile

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-# Because we're all

-running like rats

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-# Have you got half an hour

-to flatter me?

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-# The same old things worry everyone

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-# But ultimately, we're all free

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-# Oh, life is so

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-# Oh, life is so

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-# Oh, life is so fine

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-# Oh, life is so fine

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-# The wine tastes of grapes

-and the company's good

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-# Oh, life is so fine

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-# The wine tastes of grapes

-and the company's good #

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-Hello and welcome

-from me, Kimberly Kick.

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-I'm in Maes Mawr, where the local

-side faces a very important match.

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-They're in the semi-final

-of the Welsh Villages Cup...

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-..and the excitement is palpable.

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-Oggi oggi oggi!

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-Oggi oggi oggi!

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-Oggi!

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-Oggi oggi oggi!

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-Oi!

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-This lady is clearly excited.

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-Hello, you're live on S4C.

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-Hello, you're live on S4C.

-

-Oh no, I don't want to be on TV!

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-I'm sorry, I'll find someone else.

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-Oh, go on then,

-but I don't like too much attention.

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-Right. And who are you?

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-I'm Dorothy Delmina Barryjohnina...

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-..JPRina...

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-..Garethina Edwards.

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-Dad was a rugby fan.

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-You can call me Auntie Dot.

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-Have you always supported Maes Mawr?

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-Have you always supported Maes Mawr?

-

-Supported them?

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-Supported them?

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-I used to play for them.

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-Ah!

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-So, Maes Mawr has a women's team?

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-So, Maes Mawr has a women's team?

-

-No.

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-I was the best number eight

-this club has ever seen.

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-They still talk about my tackle.

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-Out! Get out!

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-Thank you, Auntie Dot.

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-Join us again after the break

-when I talk to some of the players.

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-Until then, I'm Kimberly Kick, S4C.

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-And I'm Auntie Dot, XXL.

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-The team's arriving.

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-Let's get some shots of them.

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-The pub must have opened.

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-Hello, everyone!

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-Are you OK?

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-Have you seen our Shane?

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-No?

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-If we all shout oggi oggi oggi...

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-..I'm sure Shane will materialize.

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-Big words!

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-Shane will appear.

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-Are you ready? Oggi oggi oggi!

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-Oggi oggi oggi!

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-Oggi! Oggi! Oggi oggi oggi!

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-Where is he?

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-Over here? Where?

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-Over there? Where is he?

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-You're getting on my nerves! Here?

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-Back again?

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-Make your minds up. Where is he?

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-Shane!

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-Shane!

-

-Hello, Auntie Dot.

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-I thought you were still in bed.

-When I say bed, I mean cot.

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-I wasn't in bed. I was helping

-to mark the field for the game.

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-Oh, Shane, come here, boy.

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-Oh, you're a good lad.

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-Oh, muscles!

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-You're a good lad, Shane.

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-A good lad.

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-Where would this club

-be without you?

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-I've just done my hair!

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-Why have you got your kitbag?

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-Why have you got your kitbag?

-

-Because of the game.

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-Oh, Shane.

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-Haven't you heard?

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-Heard what?

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-I've got the team sheet in my bag.

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-Hang on now. What's this?

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-I had a heavy cold last week.

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-What else have I got?

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-They do tell you

-to always carry a spare pair.

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-Here we are.

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-The team sheet.

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-I don't understand. Where's my name?

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-Oh, Shane, come here. Come here.

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-You haven't been selected.

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-I'm so sorry.

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-Oh, the TV people are back.

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-Hello and welcome back.

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-We have found one of the players.

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-Let's have a word with him.

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-Excuse me?

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-How does it feel to be playing

-in the club's biggest-ever match?

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-Aaah!

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-Aaah!

-

-What?

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-Aaah, uuuh.

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-He hasn't been selected!

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-Cut!

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-He trains so hard, but...

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-..he just isn't big enough.

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-Sorry, Shane. I didn't know

-you hadn't been selected to play.

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-Stay there, good girl.

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-He's used to being disappointed.

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-He may not be tall,

-but his thingummy is huge.

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-His heart.

0:19:230:19:24

-Now, come with me.

0:19:250:19:27

-I've got some tips

-on improving your presenting skills.

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-Where are we then?

0:19:400:19:41

-If you don't know where to start

-to seek a wise one with a pure heart

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-To unearth the hidden treasure,

-Muse says that the place is here.

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-Must everything rhyme?

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-I'm sorry,

-even though I've tried it

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-That's my setting,

-and I just can't override it

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-Tell me where we are then.

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-Explore Maes Mawr at your leisure

-where is buried the hidden treasure

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-Right, where's this coal mine then?

-That's where the Golden Ball is?

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-In Maes Mawr also,

-let me tell you again

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-Is the one who'll help you,

-by the name of Shane

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-I'm off to change my screensaver.

-Toodle-pip.

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-There's no time to waste.

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-I have to find this Shane...

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-..then I'll own the Golden Ball!

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-I will rule the world!

0:20:420:20:45

-Oh, I'm worried about Shane.

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-Rugby isn't a game for small people.

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-He never gets selected.

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-I'm worried about him, poor dab.

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-Aren't you those football blokes?

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-Oh, you're that chap from the north!

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-Oh, I think you're lovely.

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-Your little heart's pounding!

0:21:340:21:36

-Him from the north.

0:21:400:21:41

-Who'd have thought it?

-Auntie Dot meeting Malcolm Allen.

0:21:420:21:47

-No, I'm Owain.

0:21:510:21:53

-Sorry?

0:21:530:21:54

-Sorry?

-

-Owain Tudur Jones.

0:21:540:21:56

-The former Wales and Swansea player.

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-How many names do you need?

0:22:030:22:05

-And who are you?

0:22:060:22:07

-And who are you?

-

-Osian.

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-Bless you.

0:22:090:22:11

-And who are you?

0:22:130:22:14

-And who are you?

-

-I'm Lee Trundle.

0:22:140:22:15

-Calm down, calm down.

0:22:200:22:22

-What do you want with Shane?

0:22:250:22:27

-If he's as good as you say he is,

-he's welcome to train with us.

0:22:270:22:31

-One day, he might even

-be good enough to play football.

0:22:310:22:35

-For Wales.

0:22:350:22:36

-And the Swans!

0:22:360:22:38

-If you say so, Malcolm.

0:22:410:22:43

-Owain.

0:22:440:22:45

-Whatever.

0:22:460:22:47

-Listen, take that

-to the club for me.

0:22:480:22:51

-You go with him, O-sian!

0:22:510:22:53

-Lee, I've got to tell you something.

0:22:550:22:57

-When you used to play for the Swans,

-my first husband said this to me.

0:22:580:23:03

-"You love Swansea City

-more than you love me."

0:23:030:23:07

-And did you?

0:23:070:23:08

-I love Cardiff City

-more than I loved him.

0:23:080:23:11

-Go on, trundle off.

0:23:110:23:13

-Ta-ra. I'll see you later. Ta-ra!

0:23:150:23:18

-Hi, Shane! Do you remember me

-with the camera crew?

0:23:240:23:27

-Yes.

0:23:270:23:28

-I'm so sorry about that.

0:23:290:23:32

-I'm Miss Kick. Kimberly Kick.

0:23:320:23:35

-Miss Kick?

0:23:370:23:38

-Yes, I know. Don't laugh.

0:23:390:23:43

-I'm in no mood to laugh.

0:23:430:23:44

-OK.

0:23:450:23:46

-Listen, tell me

-to mind my own business but...

0:23:470:23:50

-Mind your own business.

0:23:500:23:52

-I just wanted to say,

-never give up on your dreams.

0:23:540:23:58

-Shane, you're special.

0:23:580:24:01

-What do you mean?

0:24:020:24:03

-# There's something about you

0:24:040:24:07

-# That I can't explain at all

0:24:070:24:10

-# Something about you

0:24:110:24:14

-# That makes my heart beat faster

0:24:140:24:18

-# And there's something about you

0:24:180:24:22

-# That I can never flee from

0:24:220:24:25

-# Something about you

0:24:260:24:29

-# That I can never dismiss

0:24:290:24:33

-# When seeing the high towers

0:24:340:24:37

-# Crashing to the floor

0:24:380:24:40

-# And listening to sworn enemies

-making threats in so many words

0:24:410:24:47

-# Watching this world burning

-and driven out of its mind

0:24:480:24:54

-# Don't despair

0:24:540:24:56

-# It's then that I am grateful

0:24:570:25:01

-# You are my safe harbour

0:25:020:25:05

-# When I'm surrounded by stormy seas

0:25:050:25:09

-# You are the strong arms

0:25:100:25:12

-# To embrace me when I'm afraid

0:25:120:25:16

-# Oh, when I'm afraid

0:25:160:25:24

-# There's something about you

0:25:260:25:28

-# That I can't explain at all

0:25:290:25:33

-# Something about you

0:25:350:25:37

-# That makes my heart beat faster

0:25:380:25:41

-# There's something about you

0:25:420:25:46

-# Something about you

0:25:460:25:49

-# Something about you #

0:25:490:25:57

-Thank you, Miss Kick.

0:26:010:26:02

-You're welcome. I'll see you around.

0:26:050:26:07

-Oggi oggi oggi!

0:26:090:26:11

-Shane!

0:26:130:26:15

-Where are you?

0:26:150:26:17

-Shane!

0:26:190:26:21

-Listen, I've got news for you.

0:26:240:26:27

-What? Am I in the team?

0:26:280:26:29

-Don't be stupid.

0:26:290:26:31

-No, but you could play football

-for the Swans and Wales.

0:26:320:26:37

-Don't encourage him.

0:26:420:26:43

-It's rugby I want to play.

0:26:430:26:45

-It's rugby I want to play.

-

-Don't encourage her, you mean!

0:26:450:26:47

-Goodness! What are you doing,

-scaring a young lady?

0:26:540:26:57

-Young lady? Where? Oh, I see.

0:26:580:27:01

-O'Cospy.

0:27:010:27:02

-O'Cospy.

-

-Bless you.

0:27:020:27:03

-Colin O'Cospy.

0:27:030:27:05

-Colin O'Cospy.

-

-Colonoscopy?

0:27:050:27:06

-What? No! O'Cospy.

0:27:080:27:09

-What? No! O'Cospy.

-

-You've got an itch?

0:27:090:27:11

-Shall I scratch it for you?

0:27:120:27:13

-Shall I scratch it for you?

-

-No! I'm fine, thank you.

0:27:130:27:14

-I'm Mr Colin O'Cospy,

-top rugby scout and agent.

0:27:140:27:20

-You're 20 years too late.

0:27:200:27:21

-You're 20 years too late.

-

-What?

0:27:210:27:22

-I was the best number eight

-this club has ever had.

0:27:230:27:26

-Do you want to see my tackle?

0:27:260:27:29

-Shane, fetch a tackle bag

-for Mr Colonoscopy.

0:27:290:27:33

-Shane! So, he's Shane, is he?

0:27:340:27:37

-Shane Williams, nice to meet you.

0:27:380:27:40

-Is the ball big or are you small?

0:27:410:27:43

-Come on then, Dot.

0:27:470:27:48

-Come on then, Dot.

-

-Ready?

0:27:480:27:50

-CRASH - BREAKING GLASS

0:27:550:27:57

-Shane. Shane Williams.

0:28:000:28:03

-You're the lad I'm looking for.

0:28:030:28:05

-Looking for me? Who are you?

0:28:060:28:08

-I'm Colin O'Cospy,

-top rugby scout and agent.

0:28:080:28:12

-Shorter than Derwyn Jones,

-but better.

0:28:120:28:15

-I've heard a great deal about you.

0:28:180:28:21

-I've got a contract

-for you to sign here.

0:28:210:28:25

-Oh!

0:28:250:28:27

-Hold on, knock on.

0:28:280:28:30

-Listen here, Mr Thingummy.

0:28:310:28:35

-You've made a mistake.

0:28:350:28:37

-Shane's going to play football

-with some bloke from North Wales.

0:28:370:28:43

-But Auntie Dot, this is my chance.

0:28:450:28:47

-But Auntie Dot, this is my chance.

-

-Shane! Here, now! Come on!

0:28:470:28:49

-Come here.

0:28:490:28:50

-Listen, I don't know

-what this bloke's game is...

0:28:510:28:56

-..but he looks shifty to me.

0:28:560:28:58

-I've got a contract

-for you here, Shane.

0:28:590:29:01

-Of course, you're welcome

-to go and play fussball...

0:29:030:29:08

-I don't know what to do.

-Rugby or football?

0:29:080:29:11

-What do you think?

0:29:110:29:12

-Right, I've decided.

0:29:200:29:23

-I'm going to...

0:29:230:29:24

-..follow my dream, rugby.

0:29:300:29:32

-Sorry, Auntie Dot.

0:29:350:29:36

-Sorry, Auntie Dot.

-

-Sign on the dot!

0:29:360:29:37

-Very good, Shane. Come with me now.

0:29:400:29:42

-Oh! Oh! Boo!

0:29:430:29:46

-I don't trust that bloke.

0:29:480:29:51

-Follow your dreams indeed.

0:29:510:29:54

-It's pointless having dreams

-because they never come true.

0:29:550:29:59

-Hey, Auntie Dot, Auntie Dot!

0:29:590:30:02

-I'm a bit stiff after training.

0:30:060:30:09

-Any chance of a rub?

0:30:090:30:12

-Oh, Roly Poly.

0:30:140:30:17

-Forget what I said.

0:30:190:30:21

-Dreams do come true.

0:30:210:30:23

-Of course, Roly love.

-I've got the very thing.

0:30:230:30:27

-It doesn't look

-like deep heat to me.

0:30:320:30:35

-It's my special recipe.

0:30:360:30:38

-It reaches the parts

-other lotions can't reach.

0:30:380:30:41

-It's called Hot Ball Lotion.

0:30:430:30:47

-Get behind there, go on.

0:30:480:30:51

-Brace yourself.

0:30:520:30:53

-Lie back and think of Neath.

0:30:550:30:57

-One of us is going to enjoy this

-more than the other one.

0:30:590:31:04

-What? Boo to your boos!

0:31:170:31:21

-There's no signal in this dump.

0:31:210:31:23

-Muse! Muse, can you hear me?

0:31:240:31:26

-Tell me where the old mine is.

0:31:260:31:29

-You're... standing...

0:31:290:31:32

-You're... standing...

-

-Mr O'Cospy?

0:31:320:31:34

-Not now, Shane. I'm busy.

0:31:340:31:36

-What? You're breaking up.

0:31:360:31:37

-What? You're breaking up.

-

-..under... stage... fool...

0:31:370:31:40

-But Mr O'Cospy!

0:31:410:31:42

-But Mr O'Cospy!

-

-Please, Shane, not now!

0:31:420:31:44

-Muse, tell me the way

-into the old mine.

0:31:440:31:47

-It's under the clubhouse stage.

0:31:480:31:49

-It's under the clubhouse stage.

-

-Muse, where...

0:31:490:31:50

-What did you say?

0:31:520:31:53

-What did you say?

-

-Under the stage, you stupid fool.

0:31:530:31:56

-Lead the way, Shane, lead the way.

0:31:580:32:00

-Lead the way, Shane, lead the way.

-

-But you can't get in there.

0:32:000:32:02

-That's where you're wrong.

0:32:020:32:04

-Take me to the stage.

0:32:040:32:05

-Ta-dah.

0:32:110:32:12

-I'm so close to the Golden Ball,

-I can smell it.

0:32:130:32:17

-I'm going to rule the world.

0:32:180:32:20

-What did you say?

0:32:200:32:22

-What did you say?

-

-Nothing, that's what!

0:32:220:32:24

-So, the old mine's there, is it?

0:32:240:32:26

-So, the old mine's there, is it?

-

-Why do you want to know?

0:32:260:32:28

-Questions, questions.

0:32:280:32:30

-Now, stand here.

0:32:300:32:33

-Grow up, Rhys.

0:32:410:32:42

-Grow up, Rhys.

-

-Aye, sorry, Shane.

0:32:420:32:44

-Didn't you say that you weren't

-going to give up on your dreams?

0:32:460:32:51

-Stand here

-and all your dreams will come true.

0:32:510:32:54

-I don't get it.

0:32:540:32:56

-I don't get it.

-

-Now, say the magic words.

0:32:560:33:00

-Magic words? What magic words?

0:33:000:33:03

-I want you to say them

-loud and clear.

0:33:030:33:07

-I won't say that.

0:33:100:33:11

-Do you want to play for Maes Mawr?

0:33:120:33:14

-Do you want to play for Maes Mawr?

-

-Yes.

0:33:140:33:15

-Do you want to play rugby for Wales?

0:33:150:33:16

-Do you want to play rugby for Wales?

-

-Yes, but...

0:33:160:33:17

-Do you want to be

-the best player in the world?

0:33:180:33:21

-Say the words, just once,

-and your dreams will come true.

0:33:210:33:26

-Are you sure, Mr O'Cospy?

0:33:260:33:28

-Are you sure, Mr O'Cospy?

-

-Just say the blinkin' words!

0:33:280:33:30

-Swing Low...

0:33:340:33:35

-Are you alright?

0:33:390:33:40

-Come on then, try again.

0:33:440:33:46

-Swing...

0:33:470:33:48

-Shall I get a bucket?

0:33:490:33:51

-Shall I get a bucket?

-

-No, it's OK.

0:33:510:33:52

-Swing Low Sweet Chariot.

0:33:540:33:56

-Swing Low Sweet Chariot.

-

-Pretty good, Shane.

0:33:560:33:57

-Alright, alright.

0:33:580:33:59

-Louder, Shane! Say them! Say them!

0:34:000:34:03

-Swing Low...

0:34:090:34:10

-Say it, Shane!

0:34:150:34:16

-Say it!

0:34:160:34:18

-I'm warning you!

0:34:210:34:22

-Shane, say the line!

0:34:230:34:24

-Swing Low Sweet Chariot!

0:34:280:34:30

-The mine is open.

0:34:380:34:40

-Heed this warning!

-When the second whistle's sounding

0:34:400:34:44

-Come out of the darkness right away

0:34:440:34:48

-Or never again see the light of day!

0:34:480:34:51

-Shane! Shane!

-The first whistle! Are you in?

0:34:520:34:57

-Yes, Mr O'Cospy, I think so.

0:34:570:34:59

-What do you mean, you think so?

0:35:000:35:02

-I can see all kinds of things.

0:35:020:35:04

-I can see all kinds of things.

-

-Like what?

0:35:040:35:05

-Jonathan Jiffy Davies's

-spray-on shorts.

0:35:060:35:09

-Extra small.

0:35:120:35:13

-Mike Phillips's McDonalds burger.

0:35:150:35:18

-Hiya, Dolly.

0:35:220:35:23

-And a statue

-of someone on a bench.

0:35:250:35:27

-I'm not a statue, good boy.

0:35:280:35:30

-Brynmor Williams!

0:35:350:35:36

-In a onesie!

0:35:380:35:40

-Why are you on the bench?

0:35:420:35:44

-Why are you on the bench?

-

-Why am I on this bench?

0:35:440:35:46

-Gareth Edwards!

0:35:460:35:47

-I've been here since 1977.

0:35:510:35:53

-If it wasn't for blinking Gareth

-Edwards, there'd be a statue of me!

0:35:550:35:59

-Is it just you down here?

0:36:010:36:02

-Is it just you down here?

-

-No, I've got company. Andy?

0:36:020:36:05

-Shane, boy!

0:36:110:36:12

-Do you know

-where the nearest services are?

0:36:130:36:16

-I'm dying for a double burger

-and a packet of crisps.

0:36:160:36:20

-Alright, son?

0:36:200:36:22

-Go over the flyover...

0:36:230:36:25

-..junction 34...

0:36:270:36:29

-..turn right...

0:36:290:36:30

-..straight ahead

-on the M4, on your left.

0:36:310:36:34

-I've been there before!

0:36:340:36:37

-No, Andy, wrong! That's wrong!

0:36:390:36:42

-What's going on down there?

0:36:440:36:46

-Find the Golden Ball,

-before the second whistle.

0:36:470:36:51

-The Golden Ball!

0:36:520:36:54

-Give it to me, there's a good lad.

0:36:540:36:57

-Wow!

0:37:160:37:17

-WHISTLE BLOWS

0:37:180:37:19

-Shane! The second whistle!

0:37:200:37:23

-Give the Golden Ball to me!

0:37:230:37:26

-Shane Williams!

0:37:270:37:31

-No! I'm stuck! I can't get out!

0:37:340:37:37

-I'll win an Oscar for that!

0:37:470:37:49

-What am I supposed to do

-with this now? Kick it?

0:37:500:37:53

-Pass it?

0:37:550:37:57

-I didn't pass when I played.

0:37:580:38:00

-Rub it?

0:38:010:38:02

-OK, if you say so.

0:38:030:38:04

-I thought I'd be stuck in that

-blinkin' ball with him for ever.

0:38:140:38:18

-Awful, awful.

0:38:180:38:20

-Who are you?

0:38:200:38:22

-Who are you?

-

-Hiya, Shane. I'm Sarra.

0:38:220:38:24

-And I'm Nigel.

0:38:240:38:25

-Thanks for rubbing my ball, Shane.

0:38:320:38:34

-He's been waiting

-a long time to say that.

0:38:370:38:41

-Listen, it's simple.

0:38:420:38:43

-Whoever releases us by rubbing

-the Golden Ball gets a wish...

0:38:440:38:49

-..and it's our job

-to make that dream come true.

0:38:490:38:52

-What kind of wish?

0:38:530:38:55

-Anything.

0:38:550:38:56

-For example, the last man to rub

-my ball was Jonathan Jiffy Davies.

0:38:560:39:01

-What did he wish for?

0:39:020:39:03

-To be the most handsome man on TV.

0:39:040:39:05

-To be the most handsome man on TV.

-

-What happened?

0:39:050:39:07

-Well, we got him on telly...

0:39:080:39:10

-..but there's only so much

-even we can do.

0:39:120:39:15

-Right, what's your wish?

0:39:150:39:16

-Well, I really want to play

-for Maes Mawr.

0:39:170:39:20

-OK.

0:39:220:39:23

-Can you do us a favour?

0:39:320:39:34

-Have you put weight on?

0:39:350:39:36

-Have you put weight on?

-

-Yes.

0:39:360:39:37

-Can you do us a favour

-and get us out of here?

0:39:370:39:41

-OK then.

0:39:430:39:44

-# Calling out to the whole of Wales

0:39:540:39:57

-# Are you ready for the big party?

0:39:580:40:00

-# Fun and dancing, celebrating,

-from the short to the very tall

0:40:010:40:07

-# Up in Rhosllannerchrugog

0:40:070:40:10

-# Or in Abertillery

0:40:110:40:12

-# Come on, boys, celebrate

0:40:140:40:17

-# Get up, enjoy yourselves #

0:40:170:40:21

-Exciting developments

-here at Maes Mawr...

0:40:220:40:26

-..with a last-minute team change.

0:40:260:40:29

-Playing on the left wing,

-Shane Williams!

0:40:290:40:32

-# I don't mind if you don't mind

0:40:330:40:36

-# Dress up, and come on down

0:40:360:40:39

-# Sing now, celebrate now

0:40:400:40:43

-# Get up, enjoy yourselves

0:40:430:40:49

-# Dance with us #

0:40:500:40:52

-Do you think Shane Williams

-has got the better of Colin O'Cospy?

0:40:540:40:58

-Well, you're wrong!

0:40:590:41:01

-I'm going to get the Golden Ball

-and rub it and rub it and rub it...

0:41:010:41:06

-..and then I'll rule the world.

0:41:070:41:09

-When I've finished

-with Shane Williams...

0:41:090:41:12

-..he won't even be good enough

-to play for Cwmderi Thirds.

0:41:120:41:16

-# Dance with us #

0:41:240:41:29

-.

0:41:320:41:33

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:41:340:41:36

-# He churns my soul

-and warms my blood

0:41:400:41:42

-# He sends a chill

-from my head to my toes

0:41:420:41:45

-# If you're stuck, come for a ruck

0:41:460:41:49

-# Him by there, the boy is on fire

0:41:490:41:52

-# Him by there, the boy is on fire #

0:41:520:41:55

-I said you'd win, lads!

0:42:040:42:07

-And Shane got that last try.

0:42:070:42:10

-Oh, he was so fast.

0:42:110:42:13

-Faster than Trump's toupee

-in a tornado.

0:42:140:42:17

-What's happened to our Shane?

0:42:180:42:20

-Shane, come here, son.

0:42:200:42:22

-I have to say,

-keep playing like that...

0:42:260:42:29

-..and I can sort it for you

-to play for the All Blacks.

0:42:290:42:33

-What? New Zealand?

0:42:350:42:37

-The only All Blacks

-worth playing for are down the road.

0:42:370:42:41

-Neath, Neath!

0:42:410:42:43

-Neath, Neath, Neath,

-Neath, Neath, Neath!

0:42:430:42:48

-# Hakarena

0:42:490:42:50

-# Hakarena

0:42:520:42:53

-# Hakarena, hey, hakarena #

0:42:550:42:58

-Think about it.

0:43:020:43:04

-Lads, you were all fantastic!

0:43:050:43:08

-Shane, you were incredible.

0:43:090:43:13

-Do you think we could talk later?

0:43:140:43:17

-On the television?

0:43:180:43:19

-On the television?

-

-No, no, just you and me...

0:43:190:43:21

-Oh...

0:43:220:43:23

-OK, great.

0:43:250:43:26

-I'll see you later.

0:43:280:43:29

-Oggi oggi oggi!

0:43:310:43:33

-Oggi oggi oggi!

0:43:340:43:36

-Come on then, have you got anything

-for me to wash, Shane?

0:43:370:43:41

-No.

0:43:410:43:42

-No.

-

-Let's see your kitbag.

0:43:420:43:44

-How do you open it?!

0:43:460:43:48

-Oh, what's this?

0:43:500:43:52

-It's just a training ball.

0:43:550:43:57

-Look, everyone.

0:43:570:44:00

-No wonder Shane...

0:44:010:44:03

-Do you want it?

0:44:050:44:06

-Come on, come on!

0:44:060:44:08

-Still slow.

0:44:090:44:10

-No wonder Shane's so good.

-He's got a Golden Ball!

0:44:130:44:18

-Just give it back.

0:44:210:44:22

-What's so special about it?

0:44:460:44:48

-What do you have to do with it?

0:44:490:44:51

-Rub it?

0:44:520:44:53

-Rub it?

0:44:540:44:55

-Shane, rub it.

0:44:560:44:58

-OK.

0:44:590:45:00

-Oh, my word.

0:45:070:45:08

-They're going to change our lives.

0:45:080:45:10

-They're going to change our lives.

-

-If we must.

0:45:100:45:11

-Auntie Dot, what can we do for you?

0:45:120:45:14

-Well, there is something I'd like.

0:45:150:45:18

-Are you sure?

0:45:250:45:27

-Are you sure?

-

-Yes.

0:45:270:45:28

-OK.

0:45:280:45:29

-Hey, Dot. You're looking hot!

-Fancy hooking up?

0:45:410:45:45

-Alright, Captain, I'll be there now!

0:45:460:45:49

-Captain?

0:45:510:45:52

-Captain?

-

-Captain Hook.

0:45:520:45:53

-There is one more thing.

0:45:570:45:59

-OK, if you're sure.

0:46:040:46:05

-Come on, Auntie Dot...

0:46:080:46:10

-Hang on, hang on.

-Close your mouth, love.

0:46:180:46:21

-Ooooh, James!

0:46:240:46:28

-I'm losing all concentration.

0:46:330:46:36

-This side is filthy!

0:46:380:46:40

-Stop fidgeting.

0:46:410:46:42

-For 20 more, we could

-have had Gavin Henson.

0:46:440:46:47

-Listen now, James,

-I've got to talk to our Shane first.

0:46:480:46:52

-Don't laugh now,

-this is the serious bit.

0:46:560:46:58

-Shane!

0:47:000:47:01

-We can have whatever we want.

0:47:030:47:05

-A posh new house.

0:47:060:47:08

-An expensive car.

0:47:080:47:10

-A new telly!

0:47:100:47:12

-You can be... ..don't cry.

0:47:120:47:14

-You can be

-the best rugby player in the world.

0:47:160:47:20

-But first things first...

0:47:210:47:24

-Come on, James, you've hooked up!

0:47:260:47:30

-Miaow!

0:47:330:47:34

-Miaow!

-

-Come on, James. This way.

0:47:340:47:36

-That's all of them done.

0:47:410:47:45

-Thanks, but there is one more thing.

0:47:450:47:47

-Thanks, but there is one more thing.

-

-What?

0:47:470:47:48

-Oh, OK.

0:47:530:47:55

-Are you ready, Shane? Table for two.

0:48:030:48:06

-Damn that Shane Williams.

0:48:180:48:20

-I'll show him

-and his stupid auntie...

0:48:200:48:24

-..and his ugly girlfriend...

0:48:240:48:28

-..and this dump!

0:48:280:48:30

-# If you're looking for trouble

0:48:330:48:35

-# Don't go too far

0:48:350:48:37

-# Some live a good life

0:48:380:48:40

-# But I prefer evil

0:48:400:48:41

-# I'm mean to everyone

0:48:420:48:44

-# Even my gran

0:48:440:48:46

-# I break wind and I swear

-and my heart is black

0:48:460:48:50

-# I'm evil, I'm evil,

-hate and pain are my hobbies

0:48:500:48:55

-# I'm cruel and sly

0:48:590:49:00

-# No-one's more evil than me

0:49:010:49:03

-# I'm evil, evil, evil, really

0:49:070:49:09

-# I'm bad, bad, bad, believe me

0:49:110:49:14

-# No-one's more evil hee hee hee

0:49:150:49:19

-# No-one's more evil than me

0:49:200:49:23

-# I'm bad, bad, bad, believe me

0:49:250:49:28

-# No-one's more evil hee hee hee

0:49:290:49:32

-# I'm evil, I'm cruel

0:49:330:49:36

-# There's nothing worse than me

0:49:370:49:44

-# Aha, oh yeah, oooh #

0:49:440:49:47

-More boos!

0:49:490:49:50

-This is the most important night

-in the Welsh sporting calendar.

0:50:060:50:12

-The stars are out...

0:50:120:50:15

-..for the Sports Personality

-of the Year awards.

0:50:150:50:19

-Over to our commentators,

-Gareth Charles and Nicky Robinson.

0:50:190:50:24

-Yes, thanks, Dot.

0:50:250:50:26

-The atmosphere here is electric,

-and one name is on everyone's lips.

0:50:260:50:31

-Here he is, Charlo. Shane Williams.

0:50:320:50:34

-The hot favourite

-has had an amazing year.

0:50:440:50:47

-He's gone from playing

-on the wing for Maes Mawr...

0:50:470:50:51

-..to playing for Neath and Wales.

0:50:510:50:54

-All in one season!

0:50:550:50:56

-Oggi oggi oggi!

0:50:570:50:59

-Dot!

0:51:030:51:04

-Join the Dots!

0:51:040:51:07

-Hey! Look who I've got here.

0:51:080:51:11

-Come on, James. Game on!

0:51:110:51:13

-The Sports Personality of the Year

-for 2017 is...

0:51:180:51:24

-Wahey!

0:51:240:51:25

-..Shane Williams!

0:51:260:51:28

-Thank you.

0:51:370:51:38

-I'm not sure what to say.

-It's been an amazing year.

0:51:390:51:42

-I'd like to thank a few people.

0:51:420:51:45

-Auntie Dot.

0:51:460:51:48

-The lads.

0:51:500:51:51

-And someone very special,

-Miss Kimberly Kick.

0:51:530:51:57

-Don't forget Nigel and Sarra.

0:51:580:52:00

-Who's Nigel?

0:52:020:52:03

-And who on earth is Sarra?

0:52:030:52:05

-Nobody's meant to know!

0:52:080:52:10

-There is no Nigel and Sarra,

-and there is no Golden Ball.

0:52:100:52:15

-Golden Ball?

0:52:160:52:17

-Oh, some old ball

-Shane trained with years ago.

0:52:170:52:20

-It's not important.

0:52:210:52:22

-It's not important.

-

-No.

0:52:220:52:23

-Oh, OK.

0:52:240:52:25

-All we can do now is party!

0:52:260:52:28

-All we can do now is party!

-

-Party!

0:52:280:52:29

-# Darling, darling,

-where are you going?

0:52:480:52:51

-# Darling, darling,

-can I be your friend?

0:52:540:52:57

-# Darling, pretty darling

0:53:000:53:03

-# You're sweeter than honey

0:53:030:53:05

-# Darling, darling, how about me?

0:53:070:53:10

-# Darling, darling, can I love you?

0:53:130:53:17

-# Darling, pretty darling

0:53:190:53:21

-# You're sweeter than honey

0:53:210:53:24

-# We can lie on my comfy sofa

0:53:260:53:31

-# We can love all over the house

0:53:320:53:36

-# We can love all over the house,

-yeah, you and me

0:53:380:53:44

-# Darling, darling,

-where are you going?

0:53:450:53:48

-# Darling, darling,

-can I be your friend?

0:53:510:53:54

-# Darling, pretty darling

0:53:570:53:59

-# I'm the real deal #

0:54:000:54:03

-Congratulations, Shane.

-I'm so proud.

0:54:110:54:13

-Um, you'd better go home.

0:54:170:54:18

-It's getting late.

0:54:180:54:20

-OK, I'll see you tomorrow.

0:54:210:54:22

-Ta-ra.

0:54:230:54:24

-Oooh, hang on!

0:54:320:54:34

-Is it me

-or is this room spinning?

0:54:350:54:38

-I think it's time you went home,

-Auntie Dot.

0:54:390:54:42

-I'll make sure she gets home.

0:54:450:54:47

-I've got a vehicle.

0:54:480:54:49

-I've got a vehicle.

-

-Oh, he's got a vehicle!

0:54:490:54:51

-Andy bach! James, sling your hook.

0:54:550:54:57

-But you said you were going

-to kiss me under the moonlight!

0:55:000:55:04

-I wouldn't kiss you

-under anaesthetic.

0:55:050:55:07

-Oh, Andy!

0:55:160:55:17

-He's going to take me home,

-but first of all, a lovely meal.

0:55:170:55:22

-What flavour crisps

-would you like, Auntie Dot?

0:55:230:55:26

-If you're a good boy,

-I'll let you open my Golden Wonder.

0:55:260:55:30

-Hello, can I help you?

0:55:350:55:38

-I'm sorry to call so late.

0:55:380:55:40

-I had hoped to meet the man himself,

-Shane Williams.

0:55:400:55:45

-Unfortunately,

-he's just gone home.

0:55:450:55:47

-Shame.

0:55:480:55:49

-I had hoped to have a word with him

-about helping with my charity...

0:55:490:55:53

-..Kiddie Kindness.

0:55:530:55:55

-But I'm clearly too late,

-so I won't trouble you, Miss?

0:55:550:55:59

-Miss Kick, Kimberly Kick.

0:56:000:56:01

-And you are?

0:56:020:56:04

-I'm Mr...

0:56:040:56:06

-Mr...

0:56:070:56:08

-..Emergency Exit.

0:56:080:56:10

-Emergency Exit?

0:56:110:56:12

-Emergency Exit?

-

-Emyr Gencyexit.

0:56:120:56:14

-Nice meeting you, Mr Gencyexit,

-but Shane and the others have gone.

0:56:160:56:21

-Well, maybe there is

-something you can do.

0:56:220:56:25

-What we do at the charity

-Kiddie Kindness...

0:56:250:56:29

-..is give kiddies

-the chance to play rugby.

0:56:290:56:32

-But we don't have any money

-for new equipment...

0:56:330:56:36

-..so we depend on clubs like this

-to donate their old equipment.

0:56:360:56:41

-What kind of things do you want?

0:56:420:56:43

-What kind of things do you want?

-

-Oh, anything.

0:56:430:56:44

-Old water bottles, old bags.

0:56:450:56:48

-Old golden balls.

0:56:480:56:50

-Golden balls?

0:56:500:56:52

-We were talking about

-a Golden Ball earlier.

0:56:520:56:56

-Where would he keep it?

0:56:560:56:58

-In his bag, usually.

0:56:590:57:00

-What?

0:57:010:57:02

-Um, I imagine

-that he'd keep it in his bag.

0:57:040:57:07

-You're right, Mr Gencyexit.

0:57:120:57:15

-Who? Oh, yes, me. Excellent.

0:57:170:57:20

-Shane used to train with it,

-but I'm sure it's worthless now.

0:57:210:57:28

-Worthless to Shane, but it would

-mean the world to the, er, kiddies.

0:57:300:57:36

-I'm not sure. What do you think?

0:57:380:57:40

-Should I give him the Golden Ball?

0:57:410:57:43

-Don't listen to them.

-Think about the kiddies!

0:57:460:57:50

-Shane would want

-to help the kiddies.

0:57:530:57:57

-The Golden Ball!

0:58:050:58:06

-At last! I'm going

-to rule the world.

0:58:070:58:12

-Uh-oh!

0:58:150:58:16

-Oh, no!

0:58:170:58:18

-Did you let this one rub my ball?

0:58:190:58:21

-I've got a bad feeling about this.

0:58:230:58:25

-I've got a bad feeling about this.

-

-What?

0:58:250:58:26

-He wouldn't win

-any personality award.

0:58:270:58:30

-Shut it! I'm your master now!

0:58:300:58:33

-Don't push me towards him!

0:58:330:58:36

-Don't push me towards him!

-

-He's right, unfortunately.

0:58:360:58:39

-What can we do for you,

-magnificent master?

0:58:390:58:43

-Well...

0:58:440:58:45

-OK.

0:58:450:58:53

-Oh, I'm going to enjoy this.

0:58:550:58:59

-Who are you?

0:59:000:59:01

-Down with Maes Mawr,

-down to the ground!

0:59:020:59:06

-No, please don't!

0:59:070:59:09

-Stop!

0:59:100:59:11

-Oh, Miss Kick, no more Maes Mawr

-or Shane Williams!

0:59:120:59:16

-What do you think you're doing?

0:59:240:59:25

-What do you think you're doing?

-

-I'm texting Shane.

0:59:250:59:26

-Wait until Shane and the boys

-hear about this.

0:59:270:59:30

-Ooh, Shane and the boys.

-I'm so afraid.

0:59:300:59:34

-I own everything now, including you!

0:59:350:59:40

-Come on, Miss Kick.

0:59:410:59:42

-Come on, Miss Kick.

-

-Let me be.

0:59:420:59:44

-.

0:59:500:59:51

-Subtitles

0:59:560:59:56

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:59:560:59:58

-Oggi oggi oggi!

1:00:021:00:04

-Say it quietly! My head's splitting!

1:00:061:00:08

-That was a good night.

1:00:091:00:10

-Oh, good grief! It was

-a bigger party than I remember.

1:00:121:00:16

-Shane! What's happened?

1:00:161:00:17

-Shane! What's happened?

-

-I don't know.

1:00:171:00:18

-The Golden Ball has gone!

1:00:181:00:20

-Oh, no! Do something, Shane!

1:00:201:00:24

-Auntie Dot, it's Miss Kick's phone.

1:00:241:00:26

-Oh, I used to have

-a good pair of Nokias.

1:00:271:00:30

-Mr O'Cospy has taken everything,

-even Kim Kick.

1:00:331:00:36

-Let me see.

1:00:361:00:38

-"Mr O'Cospy has kidnapped me.

1:00:391:00:43

-"It's not Maes Mawr RFC

-any more, it's..."

1:00:441:00:49

-Maes Mawr FC.

1:00:491:00:51

-Hold on, you forgot this.

1:00:581:01:00

-I wasn't trying to rob it, honest.

1:01:001:01:03

-O'Cospy's tablet!

1:01:111:01:12

-Hello! Hello! Is there anyone there?

1:01:131:01:16

-Muse. That's my name.

1:01:181:01:19

-Muse. That's my name.

-

-Muse!

1:01:191:01:21

-What's wrong with that woman?

1:01:221:01:24

-What's wrong with that woman?

-

-Auntie Dot. She's had a shock.

1:01:241:01:27

-Shane, help me up.

1:01:281:01:29

-After all, I am twelve stone.

1:01:291:01:32

-Fourteen stone then.

1:01:341:01:35

-Alright, eighteen stone,

-and that's my final offer.

1:01:371:01:40

-What's happened? We've lost the lot.

1:01:411:01:44

-What's happened? We've lost the lot.

-

-Not quite.

1:01:441:01:45

-Auntie Dot, Muse. Muse, Auntie Dot.

1:01:451:01:47

-Howdy-do?

1:01:481:01:49

-Howdy-do?

-

-Who said that?

1:01:491:01:50

-Me. Haven't you seen

-a computer before?

1:01:511:01:54

-The world's most powerful tablet.

-Where's O'Cospy?

1:01:541:01:57

-I know.

1:01:581:01:59

-I know.

-

-Is Kim Kick with him?

1:01:591:02:01

-What about the Golden Ball?

1:02:011:02:03

-After checking my algorithms...

1:02:031:02:06

-..and going through my parameters...

1:02:061:02:08

-..and my secondary circuits,

-I have an answer.

1:02:091:02:12

-Yes?

1:02:131:02:14

-Yes?

-

-No idea, sorry.

1:02:141:02:15

-But I can tell you

-where they are. Listen.

1:02:151:02:18

-Keep to the path,

-because that's just the trick

1:02:181:02:21

-And you will find

-Miss Kimberly Kick

1:02:221:02:25

-You have to be brave,

-you have to be clever

1:02:261:02:29

-Or Colin O'Cospy

-will be master forever.

1:02:291:02:33

-Come on!

1:02:341:02:35

-Come on!

-

-She means that way.

1:02:351:02:37

-Follow her.

1:02:371:02:38

-Come on, Shane, follow her.

1:02:401:02:42

-How are you all?

1:02:451:02:47

-Are all these children yours?

1:02:501:02:52

-Which one's your favourite?

1:02:521:02:54

-Hello, how are you?

1:02:541:02:56

-Hello, Elgan.

1:02:571:02:59

-Gorgeous boy!

1:02:591:03:01

-Are we nearly there?

-It's been a 30-second trip!

1:03:111:03:16

-So you see, Miss Kick, by the end

-of the day, you'll be Mrs O'Cospy.

1:03:291:03:34

-How does that sound?

1:03:341:03:36

-What if I refuse to marry you?

1:03:361:03:38

-Quiet! Every successful businessman

-needs a pretty wife by his side.

1:03:391:03:44

-Trump and Melania,

-Charles and Camilla.

1:03:441:03:47

-Ant and Dec.

1:03:471:03:48

-Ant and Dec.

-

-Ant and Dec...

1:03:481:03:49

-No, not Ant and Dec.

1:03:501:03:52

-It's time you got ready, Miss Kick.

1:03:521:03:56

-Then I will rule the world!

1:03:561:03:58

-I'd better check that the minister

-hasn't drunk all the wine.

1:03:591:04:03

-# Oh, life is so fine #

1:04:031:04:05

-Psst!

1:04:061:04:07

-Psst!

1:04:081:04:08

-Psst!

-

-I'm not. I haven't touched a drop!

1:04:081:04:10

-Shane! Auntie Dot!

-What are you doing here? Who's this?

1:04:111:04:16

-We're rescuing you.

1:04:161:04:17

-Thinking about you marrying

-that bloke makes me ill.

1:04:181:04:21

-I think Mr O'Cospy

-has got the Golden Ball.

1:04:211:04:25

-What are we going to do?

1:04:251:04:26

-What are we going to do?

-

-We'll get it back at the wedding.

1:04:261:04:29

-What if you can't?

1:04:301:04:30

-What if you can't?

-

-Don't worry, I've got an idea.

1:04:301:04:32

-Please stand.

1:04:581:04:59

-Sit down.

1:05:091:05:10

-We're here for the christening...

1:05:191:05:22

-We're here for the christening...

-

-Wedding!

1:05:221:05:25

-It says christening in my diary.

1:05:271:05:30

-We're gathered for the wedding...

1:05:341:05:37

-Who's getting married?

1:05:381:05:40

-Who's getting married?

-

-Out of the way. I'll do it myself.

1:05:401:05:42

-You're here for my wedding to...

1:05:421:05:44

-Who?

1:05:461:05:47

-Wedding?

1:05:481:05:49

-You're here for my wedding

-to Miss Kimberly Kick.

1:05:501:05:55

-Where is my wife-to-be, please?

1:05:561:05:59

-Where is Miss Kimberly Kick?

1:05:591:06:01

-Aah, here she is.

1:06:041:06:07

-Have you been at the buffet?

1:06:131:06:15

-Before we start, I've written

-a poem to mark the occasion.

1:06:171:06:22

-Can you write poetry?

1:06:221:06:24

-Yes. It came to me earlier.

-My Muse called.

1:06:251:06:28

-Yes, what do you want?

1:06:291:06:30

-Yes, what do you want?

-

-Who said that?

1:06:301:06:31

-Me. I'm so excited. Carry on.

1:06:321:06:36

-As I said, my Muse called earlier.

1:06:371:06:40

-I've asked you once,

-what do you want?

1:06:411:06:43

-Muse? Is that you?

1:06:441:06:45

-Muse? Is that you?

-

-Who else would it be?

1:06:451:06:46

-Ha ha!

1:06:471:06:48

-Ha ha!

-

-You! You!

1:06:481:06:51

-Me!

1:06:521:06:53

-Catch them!

1:06:541:06:55

-Don't rub that ball! Don't!

1:07:221:07:25

-Every time! Every time!

1:07:281:07:29

-What is your wish, Shane?

1:07:301:07:32

-I wish that Mr O'Cospy

-is nice to everyone.

1:07:321:07:36

-No! Please, no!

1:07:361:07:39

-OK, if you're sure.

1:07:391:07:41

-Are you sure?

1:07:411:07:42

-I love everyone loads.

1:07:571:07:59

-One more thing.

1:08:041:08:05

-Miss Kick?

1:08:071:08:08

-My mascara's going to run.

1:08:111:08:12

-My mascara's going to run.

-

-You'll look better.

1:08:121:08:14

-Will you marry me?

1:08:141:08:16

-OMG, yes!

1:08:161:08:19

-That went a lot better

-than the first rehearsal.

1:08:361:08:39

-Don't laugh, this is serious.

1:08:401:08:42

-Cut!

1:08:431:08:44

-With the crowd and my family there,

-it was brilliant, fair play.

1:08:491:08:53

-It was like playing

-at the Millennium Stadium again.

1:08:541:08:57

-Thank you, everyone.

1:08:581:09:00

-The scrumptious Scrum 4 dancers.

1:09:001:09:04

-The Amman RFC boys,

-Liam and Stephen.

1:09:091:09:13

-Dot Davies, Gareth Charles

-and Nicky Robinson.

1:09:241:09:29

-I didn't get it wrong!

1:09:291:09:32

-Fantastic. Great fun.

1:09:331:09:35

-Wales assistant coach

-Osian Roberts...

1:09:371:09:40

-..and former Swans stars

-Lee Trundle and Owain Tudur Jones.

1:09:401:09:46

-I had to go on

-with Osian and Lee.

1:09:481:09:50

-With the crowd there, I loved it.

1:09:511:09:53

-Osian!

1:09:531:09:54

-I've got a cold!

1:09:551:09:56

-Our first choice scrum half,

-Brynmor Williams.

1:09:571:10:03

-I'm not a statue, good boy.

1:10:041:10:06

-The former Wales and Lions star,

-without the buggy, Andy Powell.

1:10:091:10:14

-I'm dying for a double burger

-and a packet of crisps.

1:10:141:10:18

-He was nervous beforehand,

-but Shane was awesome.

1:10:201:10:25

-A back with no shirt, James Hook.

1:10:251:10:28

-It's like coming off the bench.

-Get that first touch and you're OK.

1:10:301:10:34

-Hey, Dot, you're looking hot!

1:10:351:10:37

-The Wales women's coach,

-Roly Poly Phillips.

1:10:381:10:43

-Fantastic.

1:10:451:10:46

-Everyone enjoyed it. Ta-ra!

1:10:461:10:48

-I did, that's what matters.

1:10:501:10:52

-Please stand.

1:10:531:10:54

-From the Golden Ball,

-Sarra Elgan and Nigel Owens.

1:10:571:11:01

-The words of the first verse

-weren't the right ones!

1:11:041:11:08

-Some half-times, I don't want

-to go back out, but that was OK.

1:11:081:11:11

-Our favourite tablet, Muse!

1:11:121:11:15

-We did it!

1:11:171:11:18

-The man himself...

1:11:191:11:21

-The man? Auntie Dot!

1:11:211:11:25

-Do you want it?

1:11:281:11:29

-Still slow.

1:11:301:11:31

-Please thank Mr O'Cospy!

1:11:331:11:37

-Me next.

1:11:401:11:41

-Three cheers for the happy couple...

1:11:421:11:45

-..Miss Kimberly Kick

-and Mr Shane Williams.

1:11:461:11:51

-The adrenalin's really pumping!

1:11:591:12:03

-It's so hard to explain

-the difference an audience makes...

1:12:031:12:07

-..especially a good one.

1:12:071:12:09

-They reacted to everything...

1:12:111:12:14

-..and because they did,

-all the ad-libs worked as well.

1:12:141:12:18

-I could go on and on and on.

1:12:191:12:21

-I'm stuck! I can't get out!

1:12:221:12:24

-It was nice to do something

-out of my comfort zone...

1:12:271:12:31

-..and enjoy it at the same time.

1:12:311:12:33

-It's been a busy week,

-but I'm glad I did it.

1:12:341:12:37

-On to the next one now!

1:12:381:12:39

-Young or old, silly or clever

1:12:451:12:47

-Don't give up

-on your dreams, not ever.

1:12:471:12:50

-Merry Christmas

-and a happy new year!

1:12:521:12:56

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

1:13:311:13:34

Hanes Shane Williams ar ffurf pantomeim! Shane Williams' fairytale story is brought to life in the form of a pantomime. Starring rugby greats and Welsh performers, including Shane himself.


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