Pennod 6 Caryl


Pennod 6

Heno bydd Sioned Grug yn holi am help gan gyfansoddwr adnabyddus ar gyfer ei sioe gerdd 'O Walia i Awstralia'. Plenty of laughter and music with Caryl Parry Jones and friends.


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-I saw a programme

-on television last night...

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-..about a man who goes up to Alaska

-to catch crabs.

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-So?

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-It's the deadliest job in the world.

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-The water freezes.

-There are gale force winds.

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-They're the coldest,

-stormiest waters on earth.

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-As the summer ends,

-Val and Jo Jo Eastman...

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-..harvest the various crops

-they've lovingly tended all year.

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-Please help!

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-This is seriously ****ing heavy!

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-# Apples galore grow.

-Berries in the hedgerow

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-# Raspberries, cherries and bananas.

-Fruit for Val and Jo Jo #

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-This year, as we had

-such a bumper crop of apples...

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-..Jo Jo decided

-to make his own cider.

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-Can we drink

-some of your cider later, Jo Jo?

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-A'right, Ffi? What's happening?

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-A'right, Ffi? What's happening?

-

-I'll tell you what's happening.

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-Earning a wage.

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-Earning a wage.

-

-You are jokin'!

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-I am so not!

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-My mam has been going on at me

-to get a job for ages.

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-My dad keeps saying "Appreciate

-the pound in your pocket, my lady!"

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-And crap like that.

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-Yeah, but don't slag your dad off.

-He's so cute!

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-You are so gross, Jools!

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-Anyway, I've got a job

-that's so up my street.

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-Have you won a chair?

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-Have you won a chair?

-

-No!

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-I'm going to work in an arts centre.

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-I'll hang out with poets, actors...

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-..authors, artists and musicians.

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-And dancers and stuff.

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-Awesome! Like Diversity,

-Got To Dance and Ashley Banjo.

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-Who? No, like creative dance

-and contemporary dance and stuff.

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-What's your job then?

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-What's your job then?

-

-I'm the hospitality helper.

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-What?

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-I'm like the face of the arts.

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-I'm like the face of the arts.

-

-Awesome! Like a model?

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-Yep! That's me.

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-A lot of people die

-when they're doing it.

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-If you fall into the water,

-you're dead in a second.

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-My brother did that job for some

-pocket money when he was seven.

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-If he fell into the water,

-he just swam back to the shore.

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-If the lads weren't having much luck

-with their catch...

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-..he'd dive in, grab some crabs

-and throw them from underwater...

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-..until they landed on the boat.

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-It was OK, but it wasn't a patch

-on what he's doing now.

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-He's doing the deadliest job

-in the world at the moment.

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-What job is that?

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-Obviously, as a professional player,

-you must look to the future.

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-If you get as many injuries as me,

-the future is important.

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-I've got to look for opportunities

-which are out of the ordinary.

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-That's what I've been doing.

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-Looking for opportunities

-which are out of the ordinary.

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-Back to my online course, Music-All.

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-I'll lead you through my journey...

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-..as I create a superb,

-new and totally original musical...

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-..in the hope that you

-learn something along the way.

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-You can't even dip your toe

-into the world of the musical...

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-..without music.

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-The clue's in the name, isn't it?

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-You won't believe what came

-through the post the other day.

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-A letter from one

-of the finest composers in Wales...

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-..begging me to let him

-write the songs for my musical.

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-He was on his knees...

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-..like a whore at the bedside

-of humanity, as I would say!

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-Or was it Menna Elfyn

-who said that?

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-I'm convinced it was me who said it.

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-It's a belter, isn't it?

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-But who do you think

-this mystery composer could be?

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-He's a scientific guinea pig.

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-What?

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-Scientists try things out

-on my brother...

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-..when they do their experiments.

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-He had to jump out of an aeroplane

-without a parachute.

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-Why?

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-To see how fast

-you'd reach the bottom.

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-He wasn't keen on that one.

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-Why? Did he hurt himself?

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-No. He ripped his jeans

-on the rocks.

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-He was really cheesed off.

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-Well, here I am, in the home

-of Wales's answer to Mozart.

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-Robat Arwyn.

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-It's absolutely superb

-to see you again, Arwyn.

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-How are you? It's been too long.

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-Yes, it's been ages.

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-It's nice to see you, Sioned.

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-How exactly do we know each other?

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-We competed against each other

-in eisteddfodau when we were young.

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-You lived in Nantlle Valley

-and I lived in Lleyn.

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-Our paths crossed more often

-than Frigid Betty's legs...

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-..in Roaming Hands Wil's back seat,

-as Eric Impetigo would say.

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-Then you packed your bags

-and moved to Cardiff.

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-Everything goes down there.

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-Even worse, you then made your home

-in the north east.

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-You and Rhys Meirion

-and even Leah Owen...

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-..went to live

-in the land of the Scousers...

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-..and turned your back on your home.

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-I've started to invent things.

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-My inventions

-could help the boys in the future.

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-What sort of inventions?

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-My latest one is pre-nalysis.

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-Right.

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-The trouble with analysis

-is it happens after a game.

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-That's no good, is it?

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-I want to give all the boys

-a scrum cap...

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-..and place a thing

-in their ears.

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-They'd be able to hear

-what Jonathan Davies says...

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-..in the commentary on the telly.

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-I call if Jiffy Mike.

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-If Jonathan says, "Go wide!

-Go wide!" the boys will go wide.

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-If he says, "Go left, left, left!

-Go left!" we'll go left.

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-The preparations for tonight's

-celebration are going well.

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-Jo Jo's cider

-is ready for drinking...

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-..and the aroma of Val's bread rolls

-fills the kitchen.

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-My organic bread rolls are famous.

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-The whole community

-talks about them.

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-Jo Jo loves nothing more...

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-..than sinking his teeth

-into my big, hot baps.

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-Well, I'm not sure

-what you want me to do, Sioned.

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-Your letter wasn't very clear.

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-That's why I wrote back to you,

-letting you know I was baffled...

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-..and to let you know

-I'm not interested, to be honest.

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-SHE LAUGHS

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-Very funny!

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-That's not how it sounded to me!

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-Well, I remember my exact words.

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-"I can't make head nor tail

-of your letter...

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-..and anyway,

-I'm busy writing an opera...

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-..about the life and work

-of Rhys Meirion.

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-"I'm also writing a tribute

-to George Gershwin.

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-"It will be sung by my choir

-and it's called I've Got Ruthin.

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-It's clear the north east dialect

-has had a damaging effect on you.

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-This is how it sounded to me.

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-"Rhys Meirion and Ruthin Choir

-can get stuffed!

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-"This is an offer I can't refuse.

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-"Please, please, please,

-can I write the music...

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-..for your amazing musical,

-O Walia I Awstralia?"

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-"Warm regards, Robat Arwyn."

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-What's it called?

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-That's enough chat!

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-I've got a plot

-and I've got the lyrics.

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-Take some of those notes which are

-floating around your head...

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-..like the contents

-of A I Ned's syringe...

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-..and feed them into this keyboard.

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-Surely, you can

-come up with a song before tea.

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-Sioned, honestly...!

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-Sioned, honestly...!

-

-I know! You cant believe your luck.

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-Right, here's the plot.

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-Leusa, our heroine, is madly in love

-with Robin, the servant.

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-That was ****** crap, wasn't it?

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-Get yourself a pint

-during the break.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-It's true to say that we, the Welsh,

-aren't brilliant at everything.

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-Flamenco dancing, for example!

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-Clapping on the offbeat.

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-If writing folk songs...

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-..about tragic love affairs

-and death were an Olympic sport...

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-..we'd have a sideboard

-full of gold medals!

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-We'll now sing a perfect example

-of such a song.

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-It's a masterpiece.

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-This is Geraint's superb arrangement

-of Adar Man Y Mynydd.

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-# Ah-ah

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-# Ah-ah-ah

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-# Ah ah ah

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-# Ooh

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-# Ooh

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-# The nightingale and the skylark

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-# And the little mountain birds

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-# Deliver a message to summer's hue

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-# Who from a new fever suffers

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-# Alas, I have no gifts

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-# Or expensive jewels to send

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-# As a token of my love for her

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-# Just a pair of white gloves

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-# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh

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-# The little birds departed

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-# They flew on their long journey

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-# And there, near to Gwen's bed

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-# On the tree they sang

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-# Said Gwen, as white as sea foam

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-# Alas! What is this bird

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-# Who sings here so beautifully

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-# While I am ailing

-and near the end?

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-# Ooh-ooh! Oh, oh, oh, oh

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-# Oh, please tell him gently

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-# Oh, that I

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-# That I will not live long

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-# Sadly, before this summer ends

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-# I'll be 'midst soil and gravel #

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-Coriander Allsop

-and Belter Jones...

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-..their fellow members

-of Marchogion Cedor...

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-..have joined Val and Jo Jo.

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-Jo Jo's cider is flowing and the

-harvest celebrations are underway.

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-Let's begin by asking Coriander

-to thank the summer...

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-..with a song from her original home

-in Northumberland.

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-Jo Jo, give me another pint

-of this riot soup.

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-It's ****** good stuff, fair play.

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-Steady on, old boy.

-It packs a punch!

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-You see this stomach?

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-It can hold enough cider

-to sink the Titanic!

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-Come on, Coriander.

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-# Oh Gee whipple dipple

-With me apple and me dook

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-# And under me conkers

-With me napple and me nook

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-# Oh fair young man

-Will ye quobble on me flook?

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-# With a whipple dipple dee

-And a whipple wobble wook #

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-Oh, that was lovely.

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-Lovely.

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-What about you, Belter?

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-Would you like to thank the summer?

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-Oh, summer!

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-Cheers, buddy!

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-****ing good job!

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-To the summer.

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-The summer.

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-Then he started

-testing a deodorant...

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-..which is supposed to

-stop bears from attacking you.

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-Wow! Did it work?

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-No.

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-My brother had to fight off

-ten brown bears.

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-That deodorant is rubbish!

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-Other teams would soon realize

-something was going on...

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-..and adopt the same technique.

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-That's a very good point.

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-We'd have secret codes.

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-That would confuse the other team.

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-If Jonathan said "Go left!"

-in a squeaky, high voice...

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-..we'd go left.

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-If he said, "Go left!"

-in a deep voice, we'd go right.

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-The opposition would be confused.

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-It needs a bit of fine tuning.

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-I doubt Jonathan

-can put on a deep voice.

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-Ah! Kyffin Williams!

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-Ffion?

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-Oh! Hi, Jools.

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-I'm helping in the cafe.

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-Luca, the chef, is ill.

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-I offered to help.

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-Two more buckwheat salads

-and a lemon grass smoothie, please!

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-Yeah... so what are you doing here?

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-It's not exactly

-your cup of lapsang souchong, is it?

0:17:280:17:32

-I'm meeting Gruff here.

-You know Gruff - your brother.

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-We're going to see

-La Battaglia Di Algeri or something.

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-Apparently, it's awesome.

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-Do you know what it's about?

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-Do you know what it's about?

-

-Yeah, totes.

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-It's a really political film...

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-..about the Algerian struggle

-for independence from France.

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-Yeah, I know! Ryan Gosling's in it.

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-Jools, it's in Italian!

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-Totes sophist!

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-Hiya, babe.

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-Hiya, babe.

-

-Hi, hun.

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-Hiya, fit face.

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-Hi, cauliflower.

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-You're so fit.

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-No, you're so fit.

0:18:190:18:20

-No, you're so fit.

-

-No, you're so fit.

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-Gross! Sick!

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-Hi, Ffi. Can we have two Americanos

-when we come out?

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-Cheers, chick.

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-Don't you chick me!

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-Sick!

0:18:350:18:36

-In another experiment...

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-..scientists paid my brother to go

-into the jungle to scare gorillas...

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-..and make them cry.

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-They then collect the gorilla tears

-and sell them to the Chinese.

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-Why?

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-It's romantic in China, isn't it?

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-He earns 500 a day at the moment...

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-..for testing nuclear bombs.

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-They take him to a remote island

-and drop a nuclear bomb on him.

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-They know it's strong enough when

-my brother's arm starts to itch...

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-..but that hardly ever happens.

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-He makes 500 a day?

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-A day.

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-No way!

0:19:290:19:30

-No way!

-

-A day.

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-# I like cider

0:19:350:19:37

-# I like beer

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-# But if I had to choose

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-# I prefer cider

0:19:440:19:46

-# If I had to choose

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-# I prefer cider #

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-So, Jools. Do you know everything

-about the Algerian revolution now?

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-I feel like I was caught

-in a revolution.

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-Sheesh, Jools!

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-When I was bored, I grabbed him.

-I was bored a lot!

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-Gross!

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-And as the masters cruelly continue

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-I shall perish

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-In those droplets of your blood.

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-Listen, Sioned, I'll break away

-from my usual style...

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-..for those lyrics.

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-I'll go after the influences

-of some more fiery composers...

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-..who were inspired by conflict.

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-Composers such as Shostakovich

-and Wagner.

0:20:530:20:57

-What about the music of

-John Williams in his latest films?

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-Something along these lines.

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-# As you drag your body

-wearily in chains

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-# And the blisters of brutality

-burst on your feet #

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-Something like that?

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-Budge up, sunshine!

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-I had something like this in mind.

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-# As you drag your body

-wearily in chains

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-# And the blisters of brutality

-burst on your feet

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-# And as the masters

-cruelly continue

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-# I shall perish

-in those droplets of your blood #

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-Very original.

-Where do you get your inspiration?

0:22:250:22:28

-Arwyn, don't call me.

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-I'll call you.

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-If I get desperate.

0:22:400:22:42

-Well, lads and lasses, it looks like

-I'll compose the music after all.

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-Next week, I'll focus on the

-rare gift of the ability to act.

0:23:040:23:09

-All hail Anti Berwyn's piccalilli,

-as Grandma Sieve would say...

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-..I'm a dab hand at that too.

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-See you soon, lads and lasses!

0:23:190:23:21

-LOUD ARGUING

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-S4C subtitles by Eirlys A Jones

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Heno bydd Sioned Grug yn holi am help gan gyfansoddwr adnabyddus ar gyfer ei sioe gerdd 'O Walia i Awstralia'. Plenty of laughter and music with Caryl Parry Jones and friends.