The Eighties Danny Baker Rocks... A Bit

MUSIC: "Blue Monday" by New Order

Welcome to a considered collection of music performances

by British rockers from the funny old 1980s.

The '80s was, of course, the decade when MTV got under way.

Before that, people like you and me

could only watch music clips on minor channels, late at night.

Imagine that!

We've tried to get around the ubiquitousness of such things

by asking you to forget everything you've ever seen.

Done it? Good. Thanks for playing along.

First up is The Clash from Shea Stadium, New York, 1982,

and they're introduced here by the blistering Kosmo Vinyl

and, mind games aside, New York

really hadn't seen or heard anything like him before.

-CHEERING

-Good evening, New York City!

How you doing?

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Come on, Shea Stadium! You sound like you're half asleep!

Come on, let's hear ya! How you doing?!

CHEERING

It's good to see a few people who aren't worried about a bit of rain!

You ain't worried about no rain, are ya?

Rain's a load of rubbish! Don't worry about rain!

Anyway, what we've got for you tonight is...

We ain't got no baseball! No baseball tonight!

We ain't got no football! They're on strike!

-CHEERING

-But what we have got for you

is a little bit of what's going on in London at the moment!

So will you welcome, all the way from Ladbroke Grove, London, W10,

The Clash! Come on!

HUGE CHEER

SONG BEGINS

Ow!

# Darling, you've got to let me know

# Should I stay or should I go?

# If you say that you are mine

# I'll be here till the day I die

# Come on and let me know

# Should I stay or should I go?

# It's always tease, tease, tease

# You're happy when I'm on my knees

# One day is fine, the next is black

# So if you want me off your back

# Come on and let me know

# Should I stay or should I go?

# Should I stay or should I go now?

# Should I stay or should I go now?

# If I go, there will be trouble

# And if I stay, it will be double

# So you've got to let me know

-# This indecision's buggin' me

-Indecision me molesta

-# If you don't want me, set me free

-Si no me quieres, librame

-# Exactly who am I'm supposed to be

-Dime! Que tengo ser?

-# Don't you remember where you met me?

-Sabes que ropa me quedar?

-# Come on and let me know

-Pero tienes que decir

-# Should I cool it or should I blow?

-Doble! Me frio o lo soplo? #

Wah!

Agh! Split!

OK, wise guy!

So what's the conclusion?

Wop, wop, wop! Wop, wop, wop! Wah!

-# Should I stay or should I go now?

-Yo! Me frio o lo soplo?

-# Should I stay or should I go now?

-Yo! Me frio o lo soplo?

-# If I go, there will be trouble

-Si me voy, va a haber peligro

-# And if I stay, it will be double

-Si me quedo, es doble

-# So you've got to let me know

-Pero que tienes que decir

-# Should I cool it or should I blow?

-Me frio o lo soplo?

-# Should I stay or should I go now?

-Me frio o lo soplo?

-# If I go, there will be trouble

-Si me voy, va a haber peligro

-# And if I stay, there will be double

-Si me quedo, es doble

-# So you've got to let me know

-Pero que tienes que decir

# Should I stay or should I go? #

CHEERING

The Clash, whose break-up a year later

paved the way for success in America for U2.

Your legacy, Joe(!)

And now, The Fall! I pretty much discovered The Fall.

It says so in John Peel's book if you don't believe me.

And I never tire of telling people!

Shalamar - that's another group I found as well.

In 1988, Mark E Smith's band were asked to accompany

a contemporary dance show by Michael Clark,

called I Am Kurious Oranj,

apparently based on the 300th anniversary

of William of Orange's accession to the English throne.

This is Big New Prinz, and look out for Mike,

with the curly black wig and crutches!

# Rockin' records

# The guy's rock records

# A big priest

# Big priest

# A big priest

# Rockin' records Rock the record! Rock, rock record!

# Drink the long Drink the long draught

# Drink the long draught for big priest

# Drink the long draught down Drink the long

# Drink the long draught Big priest

# He...

# Is...

# Not...

# Appreciated!

# Drink the long Drink the long draught

# Drink the long draught for big priest

# Rock the records, check the record Check the guy's track record

# Check the record Check the guy's track record

# He...

# Is...

# Not...

# Appreciated

# Check the record, check the record Check the guy's track record

# Big priest

# Check the record, check the record Check the guy's track record

# Check the record Check the guy's rock record

# He...

# Is...

# Not...

# Appreciated

# Drink the long draught down

# Drink the long Drink the long for big priest

# Check the record, check the record Check the guy's track record

# Check the record Check the guy's track record

# He...

# Is...

# Not...

# Appreciated

# Rock the records, rock the records Rockin' records

# Big priest!

# Drink the long Drink the long draught

# Drink the long draught for the big priest

# Check the record, check the record Check the guy's track record

# Check the record Check the guy's track record

# He...

# Is...

# Not...

# Appreciated

# Rockin' records, rockin' records Rock the record

# Big prinz!

# Rockin' records, rockin' records rockin' records, rockin' records

# Rockin' records Rockin' rec, rock's records! #

Mark E Smith!

Mark E Smith! Mwah!

This is Prefab Sprout's second album Steve McQueen.

But not in the United States,

where the late actor's estate forced them to change the title.

This contains one of the great breakup songs of the '80s,

or any other decade for that matter, When Love Breaks Down.

It was released four times as a single before becoming a hit. Why?

Because the public don't always recognise quality when they see it!

Oh, er... Not, not you, though!

Prefab Sprout.

# My love and I

# We work well together

# But often we're apart

# Absence makes the...

# Heart lose weight, yeah

# Till love breaks down Love breaks down

# Oh, my, oh my!

# Have you seen the weather?

# The sweet September rain!

# Rain on me

# Like no other

# Until I drown, until I drown!

# When love breaks down

# The things you do

# To stop the truth from hurting you

# When love breaks down

# The lies we tell

# They only serve to fool ourselves

# When love breaks down

# The things you do

# To stop the truth from hurting you

# When love breaks down When love breaks down

# My love and I

# We are boxing clever

# She'll never crowd me out

# Fall be free as old confetti

# And paint the town, paint the town!

# When love breaks down

# The things you do

# To stop the truth from hurting you

# When love breaks down

# The lies we tell

# They only serve to fool ourselves

# When love breaks down

# The things you do

# To stop the truth from hurting you

# When love breaks down

# The lies we tell

# They only serve to fool ourselves

# When love breaks down

# The things you do

# To stop the truth from hurting you

# When love breaks down

# You join the wrecks

# Who leave their hearts for easy sex

# When love breaks down When love breaks down. #

'Paddy McAloon!'

The late poet, raconteur and - dammit! - rock star Ivor Cutler

detested loud music and motor cars

and was a member of the Noise Abatement Society.

I've seen him in concert request audiences not to applaud!

He was, first and foremost, a drawl.

Here he is, harmonium and frank headwear in tow,

playing, quietly, the song Shoplifters.

# Shoplifters

# Shoplifters

# Is your shop right down on the ground?

# Then let us lift it Lift it for you

# There's plenty of room in the blue

# For your shop and for you

# Shoplifters

# A woman whom once I know

# Had a shop It sold bananas and calico

# She said, "Lift up my shop"

# So we lift it two thousand hundred yards

# Into the sky

# She thought she was going to die

# But we gave her the big reassure

# There was plenty of room to spare

# Shoplifters

# Shoplifters. #

Ivor Cutler. At least twice the man I am.

In fact, if he was still alive, he should be doing this.

I'd watch it.

In fact...

Ah, here it is.

This track is The Boy With The Thorn In His Side.

# The boy with the thorn in his side

# Behind the hatred, there lies

# A murderous desire

# For love

# How can they look into my eyes

# And still they don't believe me?

# How can they hear me say those words

# Still they don't believe me?

# And if they don't believe me now

# Will they ever believe me?

And if they don't believe me now

# Will they ever Will they ever believe me?

# Oh!

# Oh! Oh!

# Ooh!

# The boy with the thorn in his side

# Behind the hatred, there lies

# The plundering desire

# For love

# How can they see the love in our eyes

# And still they don't believe us?

# And after all this time

# They don't want to believe us

# And if they don't believe us now

# Will they ever believe us?

# And when you want to live How do you start?

# Where do you Who do you need to know?

# Oh!

# Oh! Oh!

# Ah ooh-ah! #

Morrissey... Never knowingly under-overwrought.

Now, Motorhead,

who once put the word parallelogram into one of their songs. Yes, songs.

Whilst being largely ignored by fashionable folk in the 1980s,

heavy rock or heavy metal just got bigger and bigger.

Thousands of kids thought Spinal Tap the movie really was a documentary.

Then again, many of us miss the fun when it comes to metal music.

Though everyone agrees,

nobody can plunge into Motorhead without feeling 100% alive.

So come, Lemmy, come, Fast Eddie, come, Philthy Animal.

# If you like to gamble I tell you I'm your man

# You win some, lose some It's all the same to me

# The pleasure is to play Makes no difference what you say

# I don't share your greed The only card I need is

# The ace of spades The ace of spades

# Playing for the high one Dancing with the devil

# Going with the flow It's all a game to me

# Seven or eleven Snake eyes watching you

# Double up or quit Double stake or split

# The ace of spades The ace of spades

# You know I'm born to lose and gambling's for fools

# But that's the way I like it, baby I don't want to live for ever

# And don't forget the joker

# Pushing up the ante I know you've got to see me

# Read 'em and weep The dead man's hand again

# I see it in your eyes Take one look and die

# The only thing you see You know it's going to be

# The ace of spades The ace of spades. #

I found that bracing.

Of course, some people say that the eye of the storm is

the quietest and safest place to be.

Those people are idiots.

In the '80s, when British bands

frequently had to nip over to Europe for TV appearances,

they soon discovered that their European colleagues

had very different ideas about the visual side of pop.

On the Continent, music was presented in a way

that might make Salvador Dali say, "What the hell is going on?"

Even a performer like, say,

Van Morrison could find himself adorned with plastic kippers,

rubber ducks and generally festering with giant balls of Play-Doh.

We haven't got anything like that.

We went for something really tough -

a piece of European television that's actually sensible.

And we found it.

Dutch TV, The Pretenders, and I Go To Sleep.

# When I look up from my pillow I dream you are there with me

# Though you are far away I know you'll always be near to me

# I go to sleep, sleep

# And imagine that you're there with me

# I go to sleep, sleep

# And imagine that you're there with me

# I look around me and feel you are ever so close to me

# Each tear that flows from my eye brings back memories of you to me

# I go to sleep, sleep

# And imagine that you're there with me

# I go to sleep, sleep

# And imagine that you're there with me

# I was wrong, I will cry

# I will love you till the day I die

# You were all You alone and no-one else

# You were meant for me

# When morning comes again I have the loneliness you left me

# Each day drags by until finally my time descends on me

# I go to sleep, sleep

# And imagine that you're there with me

# I go to sleep, sleep

# And imagine that you're there with me. #

Oh!

And they were so close to getting through that without larks, weren't they?

Still, nice try, Holland. And that's all, folks.

You might be asking what was the point of our '80s spectacle tonight,

and I'll give you the answer.

Who cares?

Here to close are the shareholders of Manchester's Hacienda club

taking time out from their day jobs one evening in 1985.

A very good night to you.

And happy birthday, Gareth.

Happy birthday, Gareth, who's 19 today.

# I've been waiting to hear your voice for too long now

# One-way conversations do not work somehow

# Tell me, how does one get your soul in touch with the one above?

# When one-way conversations pay the price for the use of love

# I tried so hard last night You would not talk to me

# I live with the fear of the few with the gift

# And I know what's going to be

# Why did you never speak my name in front of my family... #