04/02/1982 Top of the Pops

Howdy, partners. And welcome to Top Of The Pops.

This is my first Top Of The Pops in 14 years,

but it's consistency that counts,

so you can watch for me again

in 1996, and in case you're thinking to yourselves, "Who is that twerp?",

I'm the bloke who comes on the radio late at night,

plays you records by lots of sulky Belgians.

These people are not Belgian. Theatre Of Hate.

# The yellow sun was setting in tombstone

# The citizens were gone but not to their homes

# By a freak a coin in the piano made it play

# But only the wind and the dust heard it say

# Do you believe in the Westworld?

# Do you believe in the Westworld?

# Ahhhhh

# Ahhh, ah-ah-ah-ah

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

# Oh-ah

# Oh-ah-oh-oh

# From the south on a wind in walked a cowboy

# The saloon was dry but his guns were well oiled

# Somehow he remembered when he kissed his wife

# And when he said goodbye

# But that was before the circus with the bear arrived

# Oh, the bear it roared as the gun was fired

# Then the cowboy turned the gun on himself as he sang, "No-one's alive"

# Do you believe in the Westworld?

# Do you believe in the Westworld?

# Ahhhhh

# Ahhh, ah-ah-ah-ah

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

# Oh-ah

# Oh-ah-oh-oh

# Oh

# Oh

# Oh-ah-oh-oh... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I've been giving some thought to getting my hair done like his.

That's Theatre Of Hate, Do You Believe In The Westworld?

DO you believe in the Westworld? Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark.

# If Joan of Arc

# Had a heart

# Would she give it as a gift

# To such as me

# Who longs to see

# How an angel ought to be

# Her dream's to give

# Her heart away

# Like an orphan on a wave

# She cared so much

# She offered up

# Her body to the grave... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's Maid Of Orleans. Maid Of Orleans.

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark.

Liverpool boys and now some rock'n'roll for you from The Jets.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# There's been a lot of talk about the game of love

# It's what everybody everywhere is thinking of

# The love bug's as busy as-a he can be

# And I got a funny feeling that he just bit me

# Cos love makes the world go round and around

# Love makes the world go round

# Your pulse will beat and your heart will pound

# Cos love makes the world go round

# I met a little guy about-a four feet small

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# Who fell in love with Annie who was eight feet tall

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# Every time I see 'em coming down the street

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# I know true lovin' just can't be beat

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# Cos love makes the world go round and around

# Love makes the world go round

# Your pulse will beat and your heart will pound

# Cos love makes the world go round

# A goose got loose at the county fair

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# They looked high and low but she wasn't there

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# Up jumped a guy saying, "Leave her alone"

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# A-when she misses old dad she'll come back home

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# Cos love makes the world go round

# No matter what you do or where you go

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# You get kinda lonely when the lights are low

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# Everybody's gotta have a love that's true

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# And I just gotta have you, you, you

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah

# Cos love makes the world go round and around

# Love makes the world go round

# Your pulse will beat and your heart will pound

# Cos love makes the world go

# Love makes the world go

# Love makes the world go round

# Yeah-yeah, yeah, yeah... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Love Makes The World Go Round, an interesting philosophy

and those were The Jets.

Three brothers, I'm advised

and I see no reason to disbelieve that. Now, Soft Cell.

Last time I saw them, a rather squalid gig in Leeds,

now on Top Of The Pops.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Standin' in the door

# Of the Pink Flamingo

# Crying in the rain

# It was a kind of so-so love

# And I'm gonna make sure

# It never happens again

# You and I, it had to be

# The standing joke of the year

# You were a sleep around

# A lost and found

# And not for me I fear

# Wo-wo, oh, oh

# I tried to make it work

# You in a cocktail skirt

# And me in a suit

# Well, it just wasn't me

# You're used to wearing less

# And now your life's a mess

# So insecure you seem

# I put up with all the scenes

# And this is one scene

# That's going to be played my way

# Take your hands

# Off me

# I don't belong

# To you, you see

# Take a look at my face

# For the last time

# I never knew you

# You never knew me

# Say hello, goodbye

# Say hello, wave goodbye

# Under the deep, red light

# I can see the make-up

# Sliding down

# Hey, little girl, you will always make up

# So take off that unbecoming frown

# What about me, well, I'll find someone

# That's not going cheap in the sales

# A nice little housewife

# Who'll give me a steady life

# And won't keep going off the rails

# Take your hands off me

# I don't belong

# To you, you see

# Take a look at my face

# For the last time

# I never knew you

# You never knew me

# Say hello, goodbye

# Say hello, wave goodbye

# We've been involved for

# Quite a while now

# And to keep you secret has been hell

# We're strangers meeting

# For the first time, OK?

# Just smile and say, "Hello"... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, and I bought a new tie just for this, I hope you like it.

12 quid, it cost me. And now, because I like the cut of your jib,

I think I'll give you a quick run-through on the album charts.

Something Special - Kool & The Gang.

Queen's Greatest Hits. See if you can guess who that's by.

The Friends Of Mr Cairo - Jon And Vangelis.

Modern Dance - Various artists. Same again, eh?

Dead Ringer from Meatloaf.

Four by Foreigner. A bit confusing, that.

Architecture & Morality - Orchestral Manoeuvres.

Pearls from Elkie Brooks.

Still at number two, The Human League and Dare.

And still clinging on to number one, Love Songs - Barbra Streisand.

Now those lovable moptops from Swindon, XTC.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Hey, hey, the clouds are whey

# There's straw for the donkeys

# And the innocents can all sleep safely

# All sleep safely

# My, my, sun is pie

# There's fodder for the cannons

# And the guilty ones can all sleep safely

# All sleep safely

# And all the world is football-shaped

# It's just for me to kick in space

# And I can see, hear, smell, touch, taste

# And I've got one, two, three, four, five

# Senses working overtime

# Trying to take this all in

# I've got one, two, three, four, five

# Senses working overtime

# Trying to taste the difference 'tween a lemon and a lime

# Pain and pleasure, and the church bells softly chime

# Hey, hey, night fights day

# There's food for the thinkers

# And the innocents can all live slowly

# All live slowly

# My, my, the sky will cry

# Jewels for the thirsty

# And the guilty ones can all die slowly

# All die slowly

# And all the world is biscuit-shaped

# It's just for me to feed my face

# And I can see, hear, smell, touch, taste

# And I've got one, two, three, four, five

# Senses working overtime

# Trying to take this all in

# I've got one, two, three, four, five

# Senses working overtime

# Trying to taste the difference 'tween a lemon and a lime

# Pain and pleasure, and the church bells softly chime

# And birds might fall from black skies

# Whoo-whoo

# And bullies might give you black eyes

# Whoo-whoo

# But to me they're very, very beautiful... #

England's glory.

# Beautiful... #

A striking beauty.

# And all the world is football-shaped

# It's just for me to kick in space

# And I can see, hear, smell, touch, taste

# And I've got one, two, three, four, five

# Senses working... # CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Senses Working Overtime. That's XTC.

What a bunch of cut-ups they are, to be sure.

And now the bottom end of the charts at dictation speed.

One Of Us by ABBA.

New at number 29, The Lion Sleeps Tonight - Tight Fit.

It Must Be Love by Madness.

I Can't Go For That (No Can Do). Hall & Oates.

Ticket To The Moon from the Electric Light Orchestra.

New at number 25, Restless by Gillan.

Yellow Pearl - Phil Lynott.

I Want To Spend Some Time With You - Alton Edwards.

Don't You Want Me? - The Human League.

Never Give Up On A Good Thing - George Benson.

And Zoo, and have them chuck themselves about to it.

APPLAUSE

# Never give up on a good thing

# Remember what makes you happy

# Whoa, whoa

# Never give up on a good thing

# If love is what you got

# You've got a lot

# Money's tight

# He's workin' every night

# It ain't easy to keep the flame alive

# And when he finally comes home to ya

# He's just too tired to do the things you want to

# You can't help but wonder to yourself

# How would it be with someone else?

# Just keep in mind

# Every storm ends in time

# Love is forever Stay together

# Stay together

# When you got something real

# Love forever

# That you may never feel again

# Never give up on a good thing

# Remember what makes you happy

# Whoa, whoa

# Never give up on a good thing

-# If love is what you got

-You've got a lot

# Now you're the man You've got to understand

# She don't mean to make a scene

# Like you, she feels all the weight you're under

# And when she breaks Is it any wonder?

# I know sometimes it crosses your mind

# To get on out and stay hard to find

# Before you try

# You'd better look in her eyes

# Love is forever Stay together

# Stay together

# You've got something real

# Love forever

# That you may never feel

# Again

# You've got a lot

# Stay together

# Love forever

# You've got something real

# That you may never feel again

# Never give up on a good thing... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That was Zoo giving George Benson a bit of a seeing-to.

And now back to what we DJs call the charts.

Say Hello, Wave Goodbye by Soft Cell.

I Want To Be A Winner - Brown Sauce.

Don't Walk Away - The Four Tops.

I Could Be Happy - Altered Images.

Mirror Mirror from Dollar.

XTC - Senses Working Overtime.

AC/DC - Let's Get It Up.

Waiting For A Girl Like You - Foreigner.

Easier Said Than Done - Shakatak.

Jon And Vangelis - I'll Find My Way Home.

The Human League - Being Boiled.

Drowning In Berlin - Mobiles.

Get Down On It from Kool & The Gang.

Here's Christopher Cross.

APPLAUSE

# Once in your life you'll find her

# Someone who turns your heart around

# And next thing you know you're closing down the town

# Wake up and it's still with you

# Even though you left her away cross town

# You're wondering to yourself, "Hey, what have I found?"

# When you get caught between the moon and New York city

# I know it's crazy

# But it's true

# If you get caught between the moon and New York city

# The best that you can do

# The best that you can do is fall in love

# Arthur, he does as he pleases

# All of his life, his master's toys

# And deep in his heart, he's just, he's just a boy

# Living his life one day at a time

# He's showing himself a real good time

# He's laughing about the way they want him to be

# When you get caught between the moon and New York city

# I know it's crazy

# But it's true

# If you get caught between the moon and New York city

# The best that you can do

# The best that you can do

# The best that you can do

# Is fall in love... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Cuddly or what? That's Christopher Cross,

and now the top six records.

Maid Of Orleans - Orchestral Manoeuvres.

Dead Ringer For Love by Meat Loaf.

The Land Of Make-Believe - Bucks Fizz.

Golden Brown by The Stranglers.

Last week's number one. Oh, Julie - Shakin' Stevens.

And new at number one. The Model - Kraftwerk.

APPLAUSE

# She's a model and she's looking good

# I'd like to take her home That's understood

# She plays hard to get

# She smiles from time to time

# It only takes a camera to change her mind

# She's going out tonight whilst drinking just champagne

# And she has been checking nearly all the men

# She's playing her game and you can hear them say

# She's looking good For beauty, we will pay

# She's posing for consumer products now and then

# For every camera she gives the best she can

# I saw her on the cover of a magazine

# Now she's a big success I want to meet her again... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's your new number one from Kraftwerk.

It's also the end of this week's Top Of The Pops.

Tommy Vance will be doing this job next week. I'll be back in 1996.

Going to finish with Meat Loaf and Dead Ringer For Love.

# Every night I grab my money

# And I go down to the bar

# I got my buddies and a beer I got a dream, I need a car

# You got me begging on my knees C'mon and throw the dog a bone

# A man, he doesn't live by rock 'n roll and brew alone

# Baby, baby

# Rock 'n roll and brew Rock 'n roll and brew

# They don't mean a thing When I compare 'em next to you

# Rock 'n roll and brew Rock 'n roll and brew

# I know that you and I, oh, we got better things to do

# I don't know who you are or what you do

# Or where you go when you're not around

# I don't know anything about you, baby... #