22/12/1983 Top of the Pops

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, fans, and welcome to another live Top Of The Pops.

As you can see, because it's the Christmas season,

-we're all dressed up in fancy dress. I like yours.

-Thanks very much.

We've really gone all the way for this one and we're going to

kick off in a party mood with Slade and Merry Christmas, Everybody.

CHEERING

# Are you hanging up a stocking

# On your wall?

# It's the time that every Santa

# Has a ball

# Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer?

# Does a ton-up on his sleigh?

# Do the fairies keep him sober

# For a day?

# So here it is, Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# Are you waiting for the family

# To arrive?

# Are you sure you got the room

# To spare inside?

# Does your granny always tell ya

# That the old songs are the best?

# Then she's up and rock 'n' rollin'

# With the rest

# So here it is, Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# What will your daddy do

# When he sees your mama

# Kissin' Santa Claus?

# Ah, ah, ah

# Are you hanging up a stocking

# On your wall?

# Are you hoping that the snow

# Will start to fall?

# Do you ride on down the hillside

# In a buggy you have made?

# Then you land upon your head

# And you've been sleighed

# So here it is, Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# So here it is, Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# So here it is, Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# So here it is, Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun... #

It's Christmas!

# It's only just begun. #

APPLAUSE

Incredibly, it was ten years ago this week that that record went

straight to number one.

Slade also in the charts, of course, at number two with My Oh My.

At number three, it's Culture Club. Here they are with Victims.

# Take a ride into unknown pleasure

# Feel like a child on a dark night

# Wishing there was some kind of heaven

# Oh, I could be warm with you smiling

# Hold out your hand for a while

# The victims, we know them so well

# So well

# The victims we know so well

# They shine in your eyes when they kiss and tell

# Strange places we never see

# But you're always there like a ghost in my dream

# And I keep on telling you

# Please don't do the things you do

# When you do those things

# Pull my puppet strings

# I have the strangest void for you

# Show my heart some devotion

# Push aside those that whisper never

# Feel like a child on a dark night

# Wishing we could spend it together

# Oh, I could be warm with you smiling

# Hold out your hand for a while

# The victims

# We know them so well

# So well. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Victims. That's Culture Club,

with Boy George as the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

And here come Tears For Fears.

# Going far, getting nowhere

# Going far, the way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# Going far, the way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# The way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# The way you are

# These fingers aren't my fingers

# These hands are not my hands

# No-one sees and no-one cares

# What gets broken

# Not for rhyme and not for reason

# What gets broken

# What gets broken

# Going far, getting nowhere

# Going far, the way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# Going far, the way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# The way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# The way you are

# In the river my machinery

# Slows to a heartbeat

# Echoing ghost just laid by

# Those who whistle while they work

# Out of time and out of season

# What gets broken

# Going far, getting nowhere

# Going far, the way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# Going far, the way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# The way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# The way you are

# The way you are

# The way you, way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# Going far, the way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# Going far, the way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# The way you are

# Going far, getting nowhere

# The way you are

# The way you are

# The way you are

# The way you are

# The way you, way you are. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

The Way You Are, Tears For Fears,

who now are going to leave by helicopter

for a gig tonight at Poole in Dorset. Good luck, guys.

Next up it's Billy Joel, Tell Her About It.

This is an old American re-creation of a TV variety show.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Ready with the camera, please.

Camera, please.

Thank you, Topo Gigio.

Now, right here on our stage,

BJ And The Affordables.

# Ooh, ooh, ooh

# Ooh, ooh, ooh

# Listen, boy, I don 't want to see you let a good thing slip away

-# Slip away

-# You know I don't like watching

# Anybody make the same mistakes I made

# She's a real nice girl and she's always there for you

# But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do

# Listen, boy, I'm sure that you think you got it all under control

# You don't want somebody telling you

# The way to stay in someone's soul

# You're a big boy now and you'll never let her go

# You'll never let her go

# But that's just the kind of thing she ought to know

# Tell her about it Tell her everything you feel

# Give her every reason to accept that you're for real

# Tell her about it Tell her all your crazy dreams

# Let her know you need her Let her know how much she means

-# Doo-doo, doo-doo

-Ooh-ooh

# Doo-doo, doo-doo

-# Doo-doo, doo-doo

-Ooh, ooh, ooh

# Doo-doo, doo-doo

# Listen, boy, it's not automatically a certain guarantee

-# Certain guarantee

-To insure yourself

# You've got to provide communication constantly

# When you love someone you're always insecure

# And there's only one good way to reassure

# Tell her about it Let her know how much you care

# When she can't be with you # Tell her you wish you were there

# Tell her about it Every day before you leave

# Pay her some attention Give her something to believe

# Cos now and then She'll get to worrying

# Just because you haven't spoken for so long

# Though you may not have done anything

# Will that be a consolation when she's gone?

# Listen, boy, it's good information from a man who's made mistakes

# Just a word or two that she gets from you

# Could be the difference that it makes

# She's a trusting soul She's put her trust in you

-# You know she put her trust in you

-But a girl like that won't tell you

# What you should do

# Tell her about it Tell her everything you feel

# Give her every reason to accept that you're for real

# Tell her about it Tell her all your crazy dreams

# Let her know you need her Let her know how much she means

# Tell her about it Tell her how you feel right now

# Just tell her about it

# The girl don't want to wait too long

# You got to tell her about it... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's Billy Joel, and isn't it great

that he's got two records in the top 14?

Here are Dennis Waterman and George Cole.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

DOG BARKS Oh, listen to that, Arthur.

That's your actual Bow Bells!

BRASS BAND PLAYS "IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER"

-Yeah, listen to that.

-It's a disgrace on the public thoroughfare.

Should be reported to the noise abatement society.

Do leave off, it's Christmas, innit? Time of goodwill.

Time to make your will, you mean.

I've only just got over £1.50 for the guy, mister.

Used to be a penny in my day.

Yeah, well, Queen Victoria's dead, in't she?

And now I suppose it's going to be GBH

of the ear'oles from carol singers.

Go on, cheer up, will ya? Cor, moan, moan, moan,

That's all I ever get from you.

It's tough and it's lonely in top management!

Look, don't give me no earache, you don't even pay your rent!

I've got a lock-up with no lock on and it's snowing outside

If you don't get her no present soon, there'll be nowhere to hide.

I've got a lovely furry coat. I could tell 'er it's mink.

Nah, she'll suss it's skunk, don't half pen and ink.

-It don't!

-It do.

-You'd know?

-I would.

-Here's a turn-up for the books!

-What?

-Hold on, here comes Chisholm.

He's giving me a funny look. What now?

Sing - he don't know one carol from another!

# What'll I get for Christmas for 'er indoors? #

I don't see it as my problem, really. In fact...

# Don't give me no problems, cos this one's yours. #

-Oh...

-What?

-That's typical.

-Right.

-You've no respect.

-You make me laugh, you do.

-No, Terence, please...

-Just leave me out!

-After all I've done for you?

BOTH: # What're we gonna get for 'er indoors? #

Whatever I get, it's gonna cost me an arm and a leg.

Well, you got four of 'em, in't ya? Even you can afford one of them!

A typewriter with ribbons that was worn by Lady Di?

A lovely sirloin steak for when she whacks you in the eye!

-She wouldn't.

-She would.

-You know?

-How much?

-All right, I will concede.

But we're standing here with nothing,

-and it's nearly Christmas Eve!

-So?

'Ere, what about that perfume I purchased down the Winch?

-You spilt it on the counter, and it blistered every inch.

-Oh, yeah.

We could bottle it and call it "The Elixir of Life".

If you do that, my son, next year you'll need a new wife.

Yeah, that wouldn't be very nice, would it?

It's not for me to comment.

# What'll I get for Christmas for 'er indoors? #

I don't really care an awful lot.

# Don't give me no problems, cos this one's yours. #

-There you go again.

-There I go again, eh?

-That's typical.

-You've no respect.

-You make me laugh, you do.

-Oh, Terence, please...

-Look, leave me out!

-After all I've done for you!

BOTH: # What're we gonna get for 'er indoors? #

-Money? Nah...

-Terence!

-Sorry about that. It's despicable...

I've got some lovely Hong Kong made genuine Paris knickers.

Yeah! She can wear them with that fourteen pair of left-foot kickers!

Wives St Lawrence, Chan-nel Five, I've gone right through the card.

-'Ere, what about that Cartier watch?

-Nah, fell off the lorry too hard.

-An iron?

-Leave off!

-Saucepan?

-Arthur?

I'll throw 'er a Tupperware party.

That's like getting a telly that only shows Russell Harty.

Oh, Terence, this is serious, we've got to do something soon.

-MUSIC STOPS 'Ere, why don't you just not go home?

-Eh?

-She'd be over the moon! Ha-ha-ha!

-That is very wounding, Terence.

-MUSIC RESTARTS Yeah.

-Wounding and ungrateful, that's what you are.

I'm entitled to be, the money you don't pay me!

-You do all right.

-Do I? No thanks to you...

# What're we gonna get for 'er indoors? #

-Money!

-Terence! That's typical.

-Right.

-You've no respect.

-You make me laugh, you do.

-No, Terence, please...

-Look, just leave me out.

After all I've done for you?

BOTH: # What're we gonna get for 'er indoors? #

-I wish it was January 2nd.

-Ha-ha!

# What're we gonna get for 'er indoors? #

-'Ere, ain't that carol singing?

-Yeah, I wish she'd stop.

Come on, I got a cotchel

of Army Surplus christmas puddings I want shifting.

Come on! Christmas?!

CHEERING

Well, that was Dennis Waterman and George Cole. That reminds me,

-have you got MY Christmas present yet?

-Er, you know, it's...

It's in the post, you know what I mean? Pathetic, innit?

Are you ready to do the charts?

I think so, here we go, from number 30...

At number 30 this week, The Assembly, Never Never.

Still at 29, The Way You Are from Tears For Fears.

Eurythmics are at number 28, Right By Your Side.

Roland Rat goes up one to 27, with Rat Rapping.

At 26, a chart entry, What Are We Going To Get 'Er Indoors?

At 25, Say Say Say from McCartney & Jackson.

At 24, Cry Just A Little Bit, Shakin Stevens.

Marilyn's at number 23, Calling Your Name.

At 22, a chart entry from Paul McCartney, Pipes Of Peace.

And at 21, Club Fantastic Megamix from Wham!

But let's go back to number 22 now, OK? You don't mind, do you?

At number 22, we're going to join Paul McCartney, this is his latest

video, we're going to join him in the trenches for Pipes Of Peace.

-Coming up now...

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hey, one of your favourites, I know!

ORCHESTRA TUNES UP

DISTANT BOOMS

# I light a candle to our love

# In love our problems disappear

# But all in all, we soon discover

# That one and one is all we long to hear

# All round the world

# Little children being born to the world

# Got to give them all we can till the war is won

# Then will the work be done

-# Help them to learn

-Help them to learn

# Songs of joy instead of burn, baby, burn

# Burn, baby, burn

# Let us show them how to play the pipes of peace

# Play the pipes of peace

# Help me to learn songs of joy Instead of burn, baby, burn

-# Won't you show me how to play

-How to play

-# The pipes of peace

-Pipes of peace

# Play the pipes of peace

-# What do you say

-What do you say

# Will the human race be run in a day

# In a day

# Or will someone save this planet we're playing on

# Is it the only one

# What are we gonna do?

-# Help them to see

-Help them to see

# That the people here are like you and me

# Like you and me

-# Let us show them how to play

-How to play

-# The pipes of peace

-Pipes of peace

# Play the pipes of peace

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

# I light a candle to our love

# In love our problems disappear

# But all in all, we soon discover

# That one and one is all we long to hear

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That Paul McCartney, he's a bit of a philosopher, isn't he?

Now we're going to go back to the chart,

and it's going to be me reading it.

A chart entry at number 20, from Slade, Merry Christmas, Everybody.

At 19, Kool & The Gang and Straight Ahead.

At 18, That's All, from Genesis.

At 17, Barry Manilow, hear him and weep...

At 16, UB40, Many Rivers To Cross.

The Pretenders are at 15, 2,000 Miles, go on, count 'em.

Billy Joel at 14, Uptown Girl, moving gradually downtown...

At 13, it's Thriller, that's Michael Jackson.

At 12, the ubiquitous Tracey Ullman, Move Over Darling.

And number 11, What Is Love? The unanswerable question.

Here's Howard Jones. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# I love you whether or not you love me

# I love you even if you think that I don't

# Sometimes I find you doubt my love for you, but I don't mind

# Why should I mind, why should I mind?

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

# Whoa, oh

# Can anybody love anyone so much that they will never fear

# Never worry, never be sad?

# The answer is they cannot love this much, nobody can

# This is why I don't mind you doubting

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

-# Whoa, oh

-Whoa, oh, oh

# Whoa, oh Whoa, oh

# And maybe love is letting people be just what they want to be

# The door always must be left unlocked

# To love when circumstance may lead someone away from you

# And not to spend the time just doubting

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

-# Whoa, oh

-Whoa, oh

-# Whoa, oh, oh

-Whoa, oh, oh

# Whoa, oh

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

-# Whoa, oh

-Whoa, oh

-# Whoa, oh, oh

-Whoa, oh, oh

# Whoa, oh

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

# What is love anyway?

# Does anybody love anybody anyway?

# What is love anyway... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

There he goes, Howard Jones, another graduate of night-time Radio 1.

What do you think of the chart so far?

Hey, I think it's a really great Christmas chart.

Gets you right there!

At number 10, it's Cliff Richard, Please Don't Fall In Love.

At 9, Tina Turner, Let's Stay Together.

At 8, Islands In The Stream, Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton.

Billie Joel's at number 7, up one from last week,

Tell Her About It.

At 6, those yummy Thompson Twins, Hold Me Now.

Status Quo move up 20 places to number 5, with Marguerita Time.

At 4, Love Of The Common People, with Paul Young.

At number 3, up one, Culture Club and Victims.

At 2, it's Slade, My Oh My.

And still at number one, our Christmas number one,

The Flying Pickets, and here they are, with Only You.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Looking from a window above

# It's like a story of love

# Can you hear me?

# Came back only yesterday

# I'm moving further away

# Want you near me

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew, only you

# Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

# Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

# Sometimes when I think of your name

# And it's only a game

# And I need you

# Listening to the words that you say

# It's getting harder to stay

# When I see you

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew, only you

# Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

# Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

# Ba-ra, ba-ra, ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra, Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra, ba-ra, ba-ra, ba-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew, only you

# Ba-ra-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra-ra

# This is going to take a long time

# And I wonder what's mine

# Can't take no more

# Wonder if you'll understand

# It's just the touch of your hand

# Behind a closed door

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew, only you

# Ba-ra-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra Ba-ra-ra-ra. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's your Christmas number one for 1983,

The Flying Pickets and Only You.

Don't forget, the Christmas Day Top Of The Pops special,

Sunday afternoon at two o'clock.

Hey, we've got to get back to night-time Radio 1.

-Have a Merry Christmas.

-And a happy New Year. Goodnight!

-Goodnight!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: Rat Rapping, by Roland Rat

ROLAND: It's all the rage, Kev! He-he! First you find the flea,

preferably under the armpit, then chase it, Kev,

round your shoulder blade... # And scratch!

# Yeah! Rat rapping

-# Scratch!

-Yeah! Rat rapping

-KEVIN:

-Right, first you find the flea.

You've got it, Kev.

I've got a problem, Roland, I can't find one!

-Don't be stupid, Kevin, you're riddled with 'em!

-Am I, Roland?

# Course you are, don't question me I'm a superstar par excellence

# Heavy on style, I'm your main man

# So come on, Kev, my number one fan...

-# Scratch!

-Yeah! Rat rapping

-# Scratch!

-Yeah! Rat rapping

-# Scratch!

-Yeah! Rat rapping

-# Scratch!

-Yeah! #