25/06/1981 Top of the Pops

Here's Gillan, No Laughing Matter to kick off Top Of The Pops!

# I used to be a sinner, used to have my cake and eat it

# They warned me of my fate

# But I was quite prepared to meet it

# You'll go to hell they smiled at me

# And told me of the roaring fires

# But I was happy living wild

# And fuelling my own desires

# I was a wild man drinking, smoking

# And messing around with women

# Lots of women, no, not swimming, women, women

# I wanna go to heaven

# The place to be is right up there

# I wanna go to heaven

# It's gonna be good so I won't despair

# I decided to reform and pray

# Beg mercy for my soul

# I prayed in church, threw away my bad habits

# Prayed out of church, adopted an entirely different role

# I gave my money to the poor until I was poor

# But at least I ensured that I would go up there

# Instead of down below to the inferno

# Where the evil flames of desire

# Burned higher and higher and higher and higher

# I'm gonna go to heaven

# Paid my dues so I'm getting in

# I'm gonna go to heaven

# It's looking good if I abstain from sin

# I knocked on the pearly gates

# Neatly side stepping the long queue

# Waved hi to St Peter, who checked my card and let me through

# I smiled, threw my hands in the air

# Laughed and got arrested

# They said, hey man, you're in the wrong place

# Your behaviour is a disgrace

# Here we pray every hour, on the hour

# Read extracts from the Bible and look solemn

# What, says I, no party?

# No party?

# Let me out

# Let me out of heaven

# I got it wrong, no

# I can't stay here

# No laughing in heaven

# Let me out

# I just can't stay here... #

INSTRUMENTAL

# Let me out of heaven

# I got it wrong, no, I can't stay here

# No laughing in heaven

# Oh, God, it's awful here

# Gone crazy in heaven

# Take me out, let me go to hell

# No laughing in heaven

# Don't laugh, this place is hell! #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That's Gillan, who'll be headlining this year at Reading

and No Laughing In Heaven.

Elaine Paige, the Evita lady has finally made it, she's got a hit,

it's number six this week and it's called Memory.

Have a look and listen to this.

# Midnight, not a sound from the pavement

# Has the moon lost her memory?

# She is smiling alone

# In the lamplight

# The withered leaves collect at my feet

# And the wind begins to moan

# Memory, all alone in the moonlight

# I can smile at the old days

# I was beautiful then

# I remember

# The time I knew what happiness was

# Let the memory live again

# Every street lamp seems to beat

# A fatalistic warning

# Someone mutters at the street lamp gutters

# And soon it will be morning

# Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise

# I must think of a new life

# And I mustn't give in

# When the dawn comes

# Tonight will be a memory too

# And a new day will begin

# Burnt out ends

# Of smoky days

# The stale court smell of morning

# A street lamp dies

# Another night is over

# Another day is dawning

# Touch me, it's so easy to leave me

# All alone with my memory

# Of my days in the sun

# If you touch me

# You'll understand what happiness is

# Look, a new day

# Has begun. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That's Elaine Paige at number nine, lovely.

OK, there's a lady around who's doing a kind of different song,

a kind of different sound as well. Her name's Kirsty MacColl.

The record that she's got is wonderful

and is going to into the top ten immediately.

There's A Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis...

and he's a liar.

# Oh, darling, why'd you talk so fast

# Another evening just flew past tonight

# And now the daybreak's coming in

# And I can't win and it ain't right

# You tell me all you've done and seen

# And all the places you have been without me

# Well, I don't really want to know

# But I'll stay quiet and then I'll go

# And you won't have no cause to think about me

# There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis

# Just like you swore to me that you'd be true

# There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis

# But he's a liar and I'm not sure about you

# Oh, darling, you're so popular

# You were the best thing new in Hicksville

# With your mohair suits and foreign shoes

# News is, you changed your pick-up for a Seville

# And now I'm lying here alone

# Cos you're out there on the phone

# To some star in New York

# I can hear you laughing now

# And I can't help feeling that somehow

# You don't mean anything you say at all

# There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis

# Just like you swore to me that you'd be true

# There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis

# But he's a liar and I'm not sure about you

# There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis

# Just like you swore to me that you'd be true

# There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis

# But he's a liar and I'm not sure about you

# I said he's a liar and I'm not sure about you

# I said he's a liar and I'm not sure about you

# He's a liar and I'm not sure about you. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That's the first time on Top Of The Pops for Kirsty MacColl

and that song and also a first time on Top Of The Pops

tonight for a very distinguished broadcaster.

Delighted to have a man who you don't often hear or see on a pop

programme but this way is the way you'll never have seen him before.

Funk, where rhythm is life and life is rhythm.

Hear the tropically sensuous beat, makes you want to do things most

self-respecting people could be arrested for.

It's not uncommon to find yourself throwing caution to the wind and

yourself to the floor.

The heat and excitement is somewhat reminiscent of a Calcutta sauna.

-# Here today!

-Here today

-# Groove away!

-Groove away

-# Feel the beat!

-Feel the beat

-# It's so neat!

-It's so neat

-# Hit the town!

-Hit the town

-# And party down!

-Party down

-# Where it's at!

-Where it's at

-# Laid back!

-Laid back

# What's going on, brother?

# Not a hell of a whole lot

# Love one another

# One nation under a groove...#

This is some of the lingua franca of the funk business and people come

from miles around with an almost religious devotion to get on down.

# The wikka wrap is what it is

# Gotta get into views

# The wikka wrap is what it is

# Gotta get into views...#

In the last few years, funk has become an industry

and one thing's for sure, this industry is full of funk.

So, as they say here, everybody say wooo!

I said woo!

-Woo!

-Thank you.

Walk long, proud and tall, cos the writing's off the wall.

Shake your booty, do it all, have yourself a good time.

# We all have good times

# Leave your cares behind...#

One, two, three, four, get your woman on the floor.

You've got to get up to get down, so really go to town.

Don't stop till you get enough, want to rock with you

and shake your stuff.

Boogie nights where it's all right, ring my bell, it's out of sight.

# The wikka wrap is what it is

# Gotta get into views

# The wikka wrap is what it is

# Gotta get into views...#

So, in the vernacular, let's get serious.

After just 30 seconds, it's hard to imagine how to survive without

the strobe lights, the tight trousers,

the tinsel and the glitter that is Saturday Night Fever.

Here, excitement comes in a 12-inch disc.

Getting the funk out of your face is socially acceptable.

# Get the funk out of my face

# Get the funk out of my face...#

So, there you have it, a society within a society,

a world within a world.

Where words are the music of life and life is the music of words

and where the Southern Freeze is not a cold day in Bournemouth.

This is a place where good roots don't grow on trees.

Love it, hate it but you can't ignore. Here, good is bad

and bad is about as good as you can possibly get.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That guy's name is Graham de Wilde, about three months ago he was

out of work and now he's had a hit with The Evasions and Wikka Wrap.

Now, let's have a look at the charts. We'll start with the

lower end and have a look what's happening from 30 to 20.

Tom Tom Club is in at number 30 with Wordy Rappinghood.

Rainbow goes up to 29 with Can't Happen Here.

Randy Crawford is at number 28 and Third World at 27.

A climber for Quincy Jones at 26.

And UB40 is at 25.

The Jam's Funeral Pyre is at 24.

Linx climbs to 23.

Siouxsie And The Banshees goes up

one place to number 22.

Vangelis is at number 21.

APPLAUSE

Now here's Randy Crawford at number 28.

Hang on a second, I'm trying to tell them about it.

It's You Might Need Somebody.

It's Randy Crawford's hit, which is

at number 28 and it's absolutely beautiful,

and a good example of ladies being back in the charts again.

# When somebody reaches for your heart

# Open up and let them through

# Cos everybody needs someone around

# Things can tumble down on you

# You'll discover when you look around

# You don't have to be alone

# Just one lover is all you need to know

# When you're feeling all alone

# You might need somebody

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody too

# If there is fire stirring in your heart

# And you're sure it's strong and right

# Keep it burning through the cold and dark

# It can warm your lonely nights

# You might need somebody

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody too

# You might need somebody too

# Need somebody

# You might need somebody too

# You know I do

# You know I do. #

APPLAUSE

CHEERING

That's Randy Crawford at number 28.

It really does show how many good ladies there are in the charts

and how many good records there are by ladies.

And talking of the charts,

let's get right back to them now.

In at number 20, Bob Marley And The Wailers and No Woman No Cry.

Enigma at number 19, Ain't No Stoppin' Us.

Bad Manners, new entry, highest climber at number 18.

And Phil Collins at 17 with Leaving Me Is Easy.

Shakin' Stevens at number 16 and Kool & The Gang -

Take It To The Top at number 15.

Toyah's I Want To Be Free is 14

and Adam And The Ants -

Stand And Deliver is at number 13.

Bucks Fizz are at number 12.

And up go Imagination -

Body Talk to number 11.

APPLAUSE

Let me introduce you to a new band called Depeche Mode.

Now, they had a record out earlier this year that didn't do

everything it might have done, but this one, New Life,

is just immaculate and watch it go up the charts as well.

First time on Top Of The Pops,

and don't adjust your set for the funny stuff underneath.

# I stand still stepping on the shady streets

# And I watched that man to a stranger

# You think you only know me when you turn on the light

# Now the room is lit red danger

# Complicating, circulating

# New life, new life

# Operating, generating

# New life, new life

# Transition to another place

# So the time will pass more slowly

# Your features fuse and your shadow's red

# Like a film I've seen now show me

# Complicating, circulating

# New life, new life

# Operating, generating

# New life, new life

# Your face is hidden and we're out of sight

# And the road just leads to nowhere

# The stranger in the door is the same as before

# So the question answers nowhere

# Complicating, circulating

# New life, new life

# Operating, generating

# New life, new life

# I stand still stepping on the shady streets

# And I watched that man to a stranger

# You think you only know me when you turn on the light

# Now the room is lit red danger

# Complicating, circulating

# New life, new life

# Operating, generating

# New life, new life

# Ah

# Ah... #

APPLAUSE

That's New Life. It's by Depeche Mode, so it's brilliant, OK?

They're from Basildon. These charts are the top ten.

# It's getting kind of late now... #

At number 10, Hazel O'Connor and

Will You from Breaking Glass.

# Stay now stay now stay now

# Or will you just politely say good night?

# Touch me

# It's so easy to need me

The Evita lady, Elaine Paige,

is back in the top 10 at number nine with Memory.

# ..my memory of my days in the sun. #

# The black box failed

# And the jail's decayed... #

A climb of one place for Ultravox this week to number eight

and All Stood Still.

# In the new arcade

# The turbine cracked up

# The buildings froze up

# The system choked up

# What can we do?

# Please remember to mention me

# In tapes you might leave behind... #

# Some people are made for each other

# Some people can love one another for life... #

One of the great love songs of 1981,

Champagne - How 'Bout Us at number 7.

# How 'bout us?

# Some people can hold it together

# Through all kind of weather

# Can we?

# How 'bout us?

# How 'bout us, baby? #

# This town is coming like a ghost town... #

A real leap for the Specials, up 15 places to number six.

# All the clubs are being closed down

# This place

# Is coming like a ghost town

# Bands won't play no more

# Too much fighting on the dance floor... #

# Zippin' up my boots

# Goin' back to my roots... #

Another New York Group, Odyssey,

are at number five with Going Back To My Roots.

# To the place of my birth

# Back down to Earth... #

# I was on the outskirts of a little Southern town... #

No change at number four. It's Red Sovine and Teddy Bear.

# The old CB was blaring away on channel 19

# When there came a little boy's voice on the radio line... #

# More than in love

# You were a part of me and the feeling's... #

That's right, it's Kate Robbins at number three,

same as last week with More Than In Love.

# And it's hard to see how anyone could say with pride

# Never loved or tried

# We've a different meaning in the words I love you

# I love you... #

# I don't care what they think about me and

# I don't care what they say... #

Smokey Robinson's finally been toppled from the top spot.

He's at number two with Being With You.

# I'm gonna beg you to stay

# I don't care if they start to avoid me

# I don't care what they do

# I don't care about anything else but

# Being with you being with you... #

APPLAUSE

So Smokey Robinson's gone from number one to number two.

What's number one?

Well, you can hear it in the background.

Of course, it's Michael Jackson and One Day In Your Life.

And to express it visually, just over my shoulder, Legs & Co.

# One day in your life

# You'll remember a place

# Someone touching your face

# You'll come back and you'll look around you

# One day in your life

# You'll remember the love you found

# If you remember me somehow

# Though you don't need me now

# I will stay in your heart

# And when things fall apart

# You'll remember one day

# One day in your life

# When you find that you're always waiting

# For the love we used to share

# Just call my name

# And I'll be there

# You'll remember me somehow

# Though you don't need me now

# I will stay in your heart

# And when things fall apart

# You'll remember one day

# One day in your life

# When you find that you're always lonely

# For the love we used to share

# Just call my name

# And I'll be there. #

A new number one. Of course, it's Michael Jackson.

Next week on BBC One, maybe two new things.

A new star at Wimbledon and maybe a new number one.

You'll have to tune into Top Of The Pops and see. See you then.

MUSIC: Razzamatazz by Quincy Jones

# Don't believe those clouds in the sky

# Cos they'll be moving on and the sun will shine

# If the world's been passing you by

# Just reach out for a star and you'll realise

# Got to put back all the good times that we had

# We can make it better with a little bit of razzamatazz

# Little bit of razzamatazz

# Little bit of razzamatazz

# If you feel your life's in a rut

# Just come on out tonight and we'll pull you up

# Ain't no use in dragging your feet

# Cos something's in the air that just can't be beat

# Got to put back all the good times that we had

# We can make it better with a little bit of razzamatazz

# Little bit of razzamatazz

# Bring out the rides with all those white wall tyres

# Let's go out cruising like we used to do

# Get suited down let's set the town on fire

# Jump out your seat and let the music pull you through

# We can make it better with a little bit of razzamatazz

# Make it better with a little bit of razzamatazz

# We can make it better with a little bit of razzamatazz

# We can make it better with a little bit of razzamatazz. #